Who We Are (21/35)
Title: Who We Are (21/35)
Author: ladygray99
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Charlie/David
Word count: 2,303
Warnings/Spoilers: Attempted Suicide and the after effects there of. See Part 1 for Spoilers.
Summary: Sometimes life makes you look in the mirror and if you don’t like what you see there are only a couple of options. - David tells some secrets.
Previous Chapters: 1 5 10 15 16 17 18 19 20
Notes:Written for choc_fic 's 100 Days of Color. This is a shorter chapter but an important one.
Beta: swingandswirl and riverotter1951
Chapter 21
David was poking at his food. He knew he shouldn’t. He knew he should be enjoying getting out before 8 on a Wednesday night and enjoying a nice dinner out with Charlie but he hadn’t be able to stop thinking for the last few days. Not since Colby started trying to work out the identity of his mystery lover.
“What’s wrong?” Charlie asked.
“What?” David looked up from his food.
“That’s a nice bit of steak on your plate and you seem determined to poke it to death, so what’s wrong?”
David sighed. “I’m having a bit of a stupid fight with myself.”
“Anything I can help with?”
David took a sip of his water. He really wanted a beer but was on call for the next 48 hours. “Have you told anyone about us, going out I mean?”
Charlie dropped his eyes. “No. I mean I know I should. Nothing to be ashamed about but...”
David sighed himself. “Yeah, but...”
“I mean mainly I don’t want to hurt Amita. We just finished splitting up the joint savings and canceling all the wedding stuff, I don’t want her to feel like after four years I’m just...” Charlie pushed his rice pilaf around his plate.
“Colby is sure I’m seeing someone. Being a bit of a pain in the ass about it. Thing is...”
“I’m out, you’re not?”
David cringed. It was blunt but true. He stared down at his steak. He desperately wanted to look at Charlie but his eyes simply refused to lift and meet Charlie’s gaze. “When Isaiah was killed,” David started slowly. “I was out in the countryside with an evidence retrieval team. Bad cell phone reception. I left on a Wednesday, he was killed Thursday morning. Run down in the street. He was buried on Friday. I got back Sunday night and thought it was odd that I couldn’t get through to him but I figured he just had his head in some new video game and I’d give him shit about it in the morning. I got into the office Monday morning and I went to his work station and all his little toys and gizmos were gone and I asked where Isaiah was and I remember the whole office just going quiet.” David stared at the napkin that was crumpling in his hand. “Thing is no one knew about us. No one. Not even my partner and we wanted it that way. He didn’t want his family to know and I didn’t want the Bureau to know and... I went back to my desk and my transfer notice was sitting there.” David finally dragged his eyes up to Charlie’s. “We were together eight months and I don’t even know where he’s buried.”
Charlie reached across the table and took David’s hand. It was his left and his grip was weak but still he squeezed and David squeezed back.
“If you want to tell people it’s okay. Give me a heads up and I’ll manage Amita and Larry and if you’re not ready that’s fine too. I’ll have your back whatever your decision.”
“Isn’t that supposed to be my line?”
“You’ve had my back pretty sold for over two months now, I can get yours. That’s what part of being involved with someone is about, right? Knowing someone’s got your back?”
~
It was early and Don was the only one in. David knew it would fill up quick with people wanting to get an early start on their Friday so they could start their weekend going that much sooner, but for now the air was still enough that the steam from Don’s coffee rose slowly in the pink morning light.
David straightened his tie. He’d never gotten the hang of causal Fridays. Don could throw on jeans and a t-shirt and people could still tell that he was the one in charge. When David tried that trick people triple checked his ID.
“Morning, Don.”
Don looked up from his morning reports. “Morning.”
“Hey, have you got a second?”
Don rubbed at his eyes. “Sure.
“I just thought you should know, I’m going to tell the team. About me and Charlie I mean.” David braced himself for Don’s hard look. It didn’t come.
“Does Charlie know you’re doing this?”
“Yes. We had a long talk about it. He’s going to tell Larry and Amita so they don’t feel out of the loop again.”
Don looked to be thinking a bit then just nodded. “Okay. Tell me if anyone gives you a hard time.” David couldn’t prevent the snort that came out. Don had been giving him nothing but a hard time, for weeks now.
“Yeah, well, my boss has been giving me shit.”
“That’s because you’re sleeping with my brother. If Chuck was a girl and you were sleeping with her I’d be giving you just as much shit. Possibly more.”
An odd image of Charlie in a red and white polka dot dress popped into David’s head. He did his best to scrub it out quickly. “Not entirely sure how to take that, but okay.”
Don look hardened. “I’m serious David, you’re a good agent. Almost certainly a better one than me. You figured out how to walk that line I keep tripping on. I know what’s policy and what’s reality are two different things around here and I’d hate to see you get a rough time or your career stall out ‘cause you’re with Charlie. I’ve still got a bit of pull and a bit of clout and if nothing else I can yell really loud so if anyone gives you two shit I want to know about it.”
David tried to shake off the shock that slammed into him. He assumed he could write Don off as a real ally the second Charlie climbed into his bed. He certainly didn’t see himself as a better agent than Don. Don was the one he’d been looking up to for years, the unflappable, unkillable, super agent. “Um... Sure. Thanks.”
“When are you going to tell the team?”
“I figure end of the day is best. Give everyone the weekend to process.”
“Okay then.” Don looked David up and down. “How are things going between you and Charlie?”
“Good,” David answered quickly. “Nice.”
“That, tall, dark, handsome, gay physicist show up yet?”
David's stomach twisted hard around his cereal and orange juice. “Not yet, no.”
Don gave that funny little smirk again. “David, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Larry is considered a stud of the physics world. I don’t think you’ve got a lot to worry about.”
~
David felt the seconds tick by slow and heavy. They were Friday seconds but somehow worse than usual; each second dragging and even the space between the seconds seemed stretched to the breaking point. In counter point to the slow seconds David’s heart was running faster and harder than it should and in the silence of the War Room he was surprised the others couldn’t hear it over the soft rustle of file sheets and the click of keyboards.
Finally Don broke the silence with a groan and a stretch. “Okay, that’s it. My brain just went on strike for the next twelve hours.”
Nikki rolled her head around and a collection of pops echoed through the room seconded by the cracking of Matt’s knuckles. “I’m sorry, Don," Matt said. “I can’t make heads or tails out of this guy’s file system. It’s all hand built and over my head.”
“Okay, I know you tried. Why don’t you sing sweetly to Amita on Monday, see if she can get into it.”
“No problem.”
“Everyone else. Go home.”
The whole team began quickly scraping files back together for refiling. This was what didn’t go into the FBI recruitment pamphlet; the amount of time spent sitting on your ass reading old files. Still, David thought he was on the verge of a heart attack. There was actual pain radiating from his chest and his head was pounding in time with his heart. He knew it was now or never. Don caught his eye, gave a little nod then slipped from the room. David closed his eyes for a second. An image of Isaiah’s empty desk filed his head. David opened his eyes and stood.
“Hey, um... If everyone’s got a second?”
David felt four sets of eyes move to him and begin to burrow in. Time slowed and stretched. David was pretty sure he could hear himself blink and wondered if he just might pass out before saying what he needed to say. He knew the job was half done. Charlie held up his end telling Amita and Larry that afternoon, at least according to his text message. Now it was David turn.
“Um... Just, before you hear it any other way, I want you all to know I’m seeing someone.” David faltered. His team waited. “I’m seeing Charlie... Eppes. Me and Charlie are... um... dating.”
David’s heart dropped as three of the four faces staring at him went dark then Matt threw his arms in the air. “Yes! I called it. Pay up, especially you Granger you cheap bastard.”
Liz, Nikki and Colby all groaned and went for their wallets. Colby turned to David. “You couldn’t have told me. I’m your partner and you couldn’t have told me, instead you let this guy take me for a hundred bucks.”
Matt was collecting his winnings with a grin that stretched across his face. “Thank you ladies and gentleman and David. I am now that much closer to my new video card.”
Nikki shook her finger at Matt. “I want to know how the hell you knew?”
“So do I.” David added.
Matt just held out his hands twisting his face into a less than believable mask of innocence. “Best gaydar in town. What can I say?”
Liz, Nikki and Colby, all down a hundred bucks, turned to David. “You are so buying the drinks tonight, Sinclair,” Nikki stated firmly.
“Sure," David replied without much real thought. “So... Um... Are we all cool?”
“Once we’ve forgiven you for the hundred bucks, sure.” The other two nodded.
“And how many beers is that going to take?”
“Let’s just say you are definitely buying tonight.”
David stood in the middle of the War Room as Nikki, Liz and Colby went to grab their jackets. His heart was pounding but he didn’t feel any real hostility as they walked passed him, though he was sure he was going to have a long talk with each of them at some point. Then Matt stopped at his shoulder. “Just so you know,” his voice was low. “I’ve had an eye on Charlie since he first time Don dragged him in here so I’m sort of hating your guts a little right now.”
Before David could process that shock Matt slipped out and Nikki was yelling at him to hurry up ‘cause they were wasting beer drinking time.
~
David tried three times before getting his key into his own lock and stumbling into his apartment. Lights were on and music was playing. He flopped down onto his couch and tried to get his eyes to focus on Charlie. “Did you pick my lock?” He slurred.
“Yes. You drunk texted me and I wanted to make sure you got home in one piece. You really should just give me a key.” David tried to nod but his head felt heavy. “How’d everyone take the news?”
David thought and thought some more then he remembered to breathe and had to start thinking from scratch. “Matt hates me ‘cause he wants you for himself.”
David giggled at the expression on Charlie’s face thought he wasn’t completely sure why it was funny. “Well I guess I’m not setting him up with Amita then.”
David felt a rush of sad overtake the giggles. “He knows computer stuff. You like people who know computer stuff. That’s not me.”
“Knowing computer stuff is not on my list of prerequisites for a partner. And Matt isn’t my type and you are so drunk I’m probably going to have to tell you that again in the morning.”
David nodded at least as far as being drunk part went.
“Okay, you need to probably go to the bathroom then go to bed and you are going to be hurting in the morning.”
To David those both sounded like good ideas but he decided he had a better one. He reached out and pulled Charlie close, tucking their bodies together, then David fell asleep.
~
David knew Colby was looking at him as they drove through downtown. Colby had been looking at him all morning. He kept his eyes on the road but could feel Colby’s sharp green eyes digging into him. He still felt a little off from his rather spectacular binge the previous Friday but that didn’t stop Monday morning from happening as usual.
“What?” David finally broke the silence.
“Nothin’”
“This ain’t the Army. I’m allowed to tell.”
“Never said you weren’t.”
“Then what?”
“Just, rebound relationships don’t work out a lot of the time. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
David tried to ignore how much that felt like a gut shot. “What do you know about relationships, rebound or otherwise?”
“I’m just saying you’re both my friends. I’d hate to see you get hurt. I mean Charlie can’t be that experienced. I don’t like the thought that he might just be using you to find his feet.”
David took his eyes of the road for a split second to look at Colby. “Charlie’s worth the risk.”
“Sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Okay then, good luck to both of you.”
Previous Next
Author: ladygray99
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Charlie/David
Word count: 2,303
Warnings/Spoilers: Attempted Suicide and the after effects there of. See Part 1 for Spoilers.
Summary: Sometimes life makes you look in the mirror and if you don’t like what you see there are only a couple of options. - David tells some secrets.
Previous Chapters: 1 5 10 15 16 17 18 19 20
Notes:Written for choc_fic 's 100 Days of Color. This is a shorter chapter but an important one.
Beta: swingandswirl and riverotter1951
Chapter 21
David was poking at his food. He knew he shouldn’t. He knew he should be enjoying getting out before 8 on a Wednesday night and enjoying a nice dinner out with Charlie but he hadn’t be able to stop thinking for the last few days. Not since Colby started trying to work out the identity of his mystery lover.
“What’s wrong?” Charlie asked.
“What?” David looked up from his food.
“That’s a nice bit of steak on your plate and you seem determined to poke it to death, so what’s wrong?”
David sighed. “I’m having a bit of a stupid fight with myself.”
“Anything I can help with?”
David took a sip of his water. He really wanted a beer but was on call for the next 48 hours. “Have you told anyone about us, going out I mean?”
Charlie dropped his eyes. “No. I mean I know I should. Nothing to be ashamed about but...”
David sighed himself. “Yeah, but...”
“I mean mainly I don’t want to hurt Amita. We just finished splitting up the joint savings and canceling all the wedding stuff, I don’t want her to feel like after four years I’m just...” Charlie pushed his rice pilaf around his plate.
“Colby is sure I’m seeing someone. Being a bit of a pain in the ass about it. Thing is...”
“I’m out, you’re not?”
David cringed. It was blunt but true. He stared down at his steak. He desperately wanted to look at Charlie but his eyes simply refused to lift and meet Charlie’s gaze. “When Isaiah was killed,” David started slowly. “I was out in the countryside with an evidence retrieval team. Bad cell phone reception. I left on a Wednesday, he was killed Thursday morning. Run down in the street. He was buried on Friday. I got back Sunday night and thought it was odd that I couldn’t get through to him but I figured he just had his head in some new video game and I’d give him shit about it in the morning. I got into the office Monday morning and I went to his work station and all his little toys and gizmos were gone and I asked where Isaiah was and I remember the whole office just going quiet.” David stared at the napkin that was crumpling in his hand. “Thing is no one knew about us. No one. Not even my partner and we wanted it that way. He didn’t want his family to know and I didn’t want the Bureau to know and... I went back to my desk and my transfer notice was sitting there.” David finally dragged his eyes up to Charlie’s. “We were together eight months and I don’t even know where he’s buried.”
Charlie reached across the table and took David’s hand. It was his left and his grip was weak but still he squeezed and David squeezed back.
“If you want to tell people it’s okay. Give me a heads up and I’ll manage Amita and Larry and if you’re not ready that’s fine too. I’ll have your back whatever your decision.”
“Isn’t that supposed to be my line?”
“You’ve had my back pretty sold for over two months now, I can get yours. That’s what part of being involved with someone is about, right? Knowing someone’s got your back?”
~
It was early and Don was the only one in. David knew it would fill up quick with people wanting to get an early start on their Friday so they could start their weekend going that much sooner, but for now the air was still enough that the steam from Don’s coffee rose slowly in the pink morning light.
David straightened his tie. He’d never gotten the hang of causal Fridays. Don could throw on jeans and a t-shirt and people could still tell that he was the one in charge. When David tried that trick people triple checked his ID.
“Morning, Don.”
Don looked up from his morning reports. “Morning.”
“Hey, have you got a second?”
Don rubbed at his eyes. “Sure.
“I just thought you should know, I’m going to tell the team. About me and Charlie I mean.” David braced himself for Don’s hard look. It didn’t come.
“Does Charlie know you’re doing this?”
“Yes. We had a long talk about it. He’s going to tell Larry and Amita so they don’t feel out of the loop again.”
Don looked to be thinking a bit then just nodded. “Okay. Tell me if anyone gives you a hard time.” David couldn’t prevent the snort that came out. Don had been giving him nothing but a hard time, for weeks now.
“Yeah, well, my boss has been giving me shit.”
“That’s because you’re sleeping with my brother. If Chuck was a girl and you were sleeping with her I’d be giving you just as much shit. Possibly more.”
An odd image of Charlie in a red and white polka dot dress popped into David’s head. He did his best to scrub it out quickly. “Not entirely sure how to take that, but okay.”
Don look hardened. “I’m serious David, you’re a good agent. Almost certainly a better one than me. You figured out how to walk that line I keep tripping on. I know what’s policy and what’s reality are two different things around here and I’d hate to see you get a rough time or your career stall out ‘cause you’re with Charlie. I’ve still got a bit of pull and a bit of clout and if nothing else I can yell really loud so if anyone gives you two shit I want to know about it.”
David tried to shake off the shock that slammed into him. He assumed he could write Don off as a real ally the second Charlie climbed into his bed. He certainly didn’t see himself as a better agent than Don. Don was the one he’d been looking up to for years, the unflappable, unkillable, super agent. “Um... Sure. Thanks.”
“When are you going to tell the team?”
“I figure end of the day is best. Give everyone the weekend to process.”
“Okay then.” Don looked David up and down. “How are things going between you and Charlie?”
“Good,” David answered quickly. “Nice.”
“That, tall, dark, handsome, gay physicist show up yet?”
David's stomach twisted hard around his cereal and orange juice. “Not yet, no.”
Don gave that funny little smirk again. “David, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Larry is considered a stud of the physics world. I don’t think you’ve got a lot to worry about.”
~
David felt the seconds tick by slow and heavy. They were Friday seconds but somehow worse than usual; each second dragging and even the space between the seconds seemed stretched to the breaking point. In counter point to the slow seconds David’s heart was running faster and harder than it should and in the silence of the War Room he was surprised the others couldn’t hear it over the soft rustle of file sheets and the click of keyboards.
Finally Don broke the silence with a groan and a stretch. “Okay, that’s it. My brain just went on strike for the next twelve hours.”
Nikki rolled her head around and a collection of pops echoed through the room seconded by the cracking of Matt’s knuckles. “I’m sorry, Don," Matt said. “I can’t make heads or tails out of this guy’s file system. It’s all hand built and over my head.”
“Okay, I know you tried. Why don’t you sing sweetly to Amita on Monday, see if she can get into it.”
“No problem.”
“Everyone else. Go home.”
The whole team began quickly scraping files back together for refiling. This was what didn’t go into the FBI recruitment pamphlet; the amount of time spent sitting on your ass reading old files. Still, David thought he was on the verge of a heart attack. There was actual pain radiating from his chest and his head was pounding in time with his heart. He knew it was now or never. Don caught his eye, gave a little nod then slipped from the room. David closed his eyes for a second. An image of Isaiah’s empty desk filed his head. David opened his eyes and stood.
“Hey, um... If everyone’s got a second?”
David felt four sets of eyes move to him and begin to burrow in. Time slowed and stretched. David was pretty sure he could hear himself blink and wondered if he just might pass out before saying what he needed to say. He knew the job was half done. Charlie held up his end telling Amita and Larry that afternoon, at least according to his text message. Now it was David turn.
“Um... Just, before you hear it any other way, I want you all to know I’m seeing someone.” David faltered. His team waited. “I’m seeing Charlie... Eppes. Me and Charlie are... um... dating.”
David’s heart dropped as three of the four faces staring at him went dark then Matt threw his arms in the air. “Yes! I called it. Pay up, especially you Granger you cheap bastard.”
Liz, Nikki and Colby all groaned and went for their wallets. Colby turned to David. “You couldn’t have told me. I’m your partner and you couldn’t have told me, instead you let this guy take me for a hundred bucks.”
Matt was collecting his winnings with a grin that stretched across his face. “Thank you ladies and gentleman and David. I am now that much closer to my new video card.”
Nikki shook her finger at Matt. “I want to know how the hell you knew?”
“So do I.” David added.
Matt just held out his hands twisting his face into a less than believable mask of innocence. “Best gaydar in town. What can I say?”
Liz, Nikki and Colby, all down a hundred bucks, turned to David. “You are so buying the drinks tonight, Sinclair,” Nikki stated firmly.
“Sure," David replied without much real thought. “So... Um... Are we all cool?”
“Once we’ve forgiven you for the hundred bucks, sure.” The other two nodded.
“And how many beers is that going to take?”
“Let’s just say you are definitely buying tonight.”
David stood in the middle of the War Room as Nikki, Liz and Colby went to grab their jackets. His heart was pounding but he didn’t feel any real hostility as they walked passed him, though he was sure he was going to have a long talk with each of them at some point. Then Matt stopped at his shoulder. “Just so you know,” his voice was low. “I’ve had an eye on Charlie since he first time Don dragged him in here so I’m sort of hating your guts a little right now.”
Before David could process that shock Matt slipped out and Nikki was yelling at him to hurry up ‘cause they were wasting beer drinking time.
~
David tried three times before getting his key into his own lock and stumbling into his apartment. Lights were on and music was playing. He flopped down onto his couch and tried to get his eyes to focus on Charlie. “Did you pick my lock?” He slurred.
“Yes. You drunk texted me and I wanted to make sure you got home in one piece. You really should just give me a key.” David tried to nod but his head felt heavy. “How’d everyone take the news?”
David thought and thought some more then he remembered to breathe and had to start thinking from scratch. “Matt hates me ‘cause he wants you for himself.”
David giggled at the expression on Charlie’s face thought he wasn’t completely sure why it was funny. “Well I guess I’m not setting him up with Amita then.”
David felt a rush of sad overtake the giggles. “He knows computer stuff. You like people who know computer stuff. That’s not me.”
“Knowing computer stuff is not on my list of prerequisites for a partner. And Matt isn’t my type and you are so drunk I’m probably going to have to tell you that again in the morning.”
David nodded at least as far as being drunk part went.
“Okay, you need to probably go to the bathroom then go to bed and you are going to be hurting in the morning.”
To David those both sounded like good ideas but he decided he had a better one. He reached out and pulled Charlie close, tucking their bodies together, then David fell asleep.
~
David knew Colby was looking at him as they drove through downtown. Colby had been looking at him all morning. He kept his eyes on the road but could feel Colby’s sharp green eyes digging into him. He still felt a little off from his rather spectacular binge the previous Friday but that didn’t stop Monday morning from happening as usual.
“What?” David finally broke the silence.
“Nothin’”
“This ain’t the Army. I’m allowed to tell.”
“Never said you weren’t.”
“Then what?”
“Just, rebound relationships don’t work out a lot of the time. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
David tried to ignore how much that felt like a gut shot. “What do you know about relationships, rebound or otherwise?”
“I’m just saying you’re both my friends. I’d hate to see you get hurt. I mean Charlie can’t be that experienced. I don’t like the thought that he might just be using you to find his feet.”
David took his eyes of the road for a split second to look at Colby. “Charlie’s worth the risk.”
“Sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Okay then, good luck to both of you.”
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