Comments | l_espionrogue: RED Spy's Phone line

l_espionrogue

RED Spy's Phone line

Oct 15, 2011 09:34

You 'ave reached ze RED Spy. I am unable to come to ze phone at ze moment. Per'aps I 'ave gone off to murder someone. Or, per'aps I am be'ind you..." *maniac laughter*

OOC- If you need to leave a message for ze Spy, please do so here ;)

phone, message

Comments 27

[A MESSAGE FROM THE ADMINISTRATOR] adminamod December 10 2011, 02:33:51 UTC

Good evening. I trust that you are doing well.

I received a strange telephone message from the RED Scout tonight. He informed me that you had, in the past, referred to me as a person of the lesbian persuasion. I enjoy it when teammates snitch on each other, but I was also sadly informed that you had offered to invite me to the most expensive, lavish steak dinner that you could afford as an apology.

Now, normally I would decline to such an invitation, but this could not have come at a more opportune time. I have just been able to schedule some free space on my busy schedule, and have taken the liberty of freeing some space from your work schedule as well. I will inform you of the restaurant that you shall be making your reservations at, and the time when we shall be arriving. Also, the RED Scout has also graciously offered to appear with us, so there will be three in our party. A threesome, if you will ( ... )

Re: [A MESSAGE FROM THE ADMINISTRATOR] l_espionrogue December 10 2011, 02:49:33 UTC

Madame, surely you would not believe zat I would say som'sing like zat. Someone as lovely as you must 'ave men wanting to quart you all ze time, and I 'ave no reason to question your preferances.

Unfortunatly, as much as I would love so much to be in ze company of a beautiful woman such as yourself, 'owever as I might 'ave mentioned, I must leave ze fort for some time to spread ze ashes of my deceased fa'zer on ze mountain tops of France, and I will not be able to join you.

I 'ave already spoken wis RED Scout about ze matter, and 'e 'as been kind enough to offer to not only to go wis'out me, but to cover all charges from 'is own pay cheque. It is 'is way to thank you for being such a good Adminitsrator, and also apologize for lying about what I said, not to mention breaking one of ze cameras in ze intelligence room.

I know zat 'e can be obnoxious, but clearly, ze boy can also be very sweet when 'e wants to be, and I 'sink ze two of you will 'ave a lovely evening toge'zer.

Re: [A MESSAGE FROM THE ADMINISTRATOR] adminamod December 10 2011, 03:08:23 UTC

I do not think that you heard me correctly. I have sequestered time from your work hours in order for your apology to be carried out to it's fullest extent. I have the power to change your schedule again. However, when you return (and you will return, even if I have to hunt you down and drag you off that mountain myself), you will be attending our dinner. I have already canceled several important events for our evening. You cannot back out of this so easily.

And I am completely sure that the Scout has not lied about what you said. I do not need to remind you that I have security installed around the entire fort, in case some crazed assassin decides to sneak into your base at night and murder you all or, god forbid, steal our intelligence. With the addition of security cameras, I have a number of microphones hidden around the fort which record everything you all say. I will have to scrub a couple hours more of recordings, and although I do not yet have proof that you said what he claims, you have said some rather unsavory things about ( ... )

Re: [A MESSAGE FROM THE ADMINISTRATOR] l_espionrogue December 10 2011, 03:49:24 UTC

If I may, madamoiselle, I believe I remember now zat I might 'ave said some'sing as a mere curious suggestion. Ze boy 'as a tendancy to over-exaggerate. Per'aps it was out of guilt for all ze terrible 'sings 'e has been saying about you, 'imself. But do not judge 'im too harshly. You know 'ow kids are zes days....such a shame. I did not intend what I said as an insult by any means. I do apologize if you took it ze wrong way.

Eh...of course, Madame. I would be very 'appy to accompany bos of you when it is more convienant. I'm sure we will all 'ave a splendid time. I will be sure to inform you as soon as I return. Until zen, Au revior, madame.

*some fumbling sounds with the phone can be heard*

....SACCRE BLEU!! Zat stupid fucking boy! I swear I'm going to kill him! *gasp* Oh sheet, ze phone!

*click*

forceanature15 December 22 2011, 15:05:14 UTC

Merry...Smissmas.

http://gobarbra.com/hit/new-4c2b15f553eb86eefaa7d76092dd3289

l_espionrogue December 22 2011, 20:09:32 UTC

..You are lucky zat you are not MY child, because I would beat you for zis.

OOC-Hahaha! These are hilarious. I already sent one to BLU Spy :P

forceanature15 December 22 2011, 20:16:05 UTC

ooc: hey who says Jeremy ain't his kid? XD Maybe he and Blu Ma got it on ages ago but she never told him she was preggo or something.. :P

Yeah? And I'd beat ya right back ya shape shifting rat...

l_espionrogue December 22 2011, 20:41:15 UTC

*snort* As if you could even try. You would probably end up 'urting yourself worse zen me or som'sing.

OOC- No, trust me, he's not. ;P Although RED Scout and I were talking about how it would be funny if BLU Scout had little brothers who were mean and French-like and beat Scout up and stuff XDDD

iamthescouthere February 13 2012, 03:16:25 UTC

Hey man, look... I know you and me don't get along much. So I thought, hell, I'll be a nice guy and give you something so that we can be on good terms and shit. It ain't right that we gotta be yelling all the time, so I hope you like this thing.

( ... )

l_espionrogue February 13 2012, 11:07:34 UTC

....I would eat ze dirt outside before I would eat any'sing zat you 'ave touched wis your fil'zy, disgusting 'ands. It would probably be much cleaner.

And who gives ano'zer man a cake as a gift? You need to stop 'anging around ze doctor so much..

iamthescouthere February 13 2012, 20:23:05 UTC

Hey, I'm the authority on things that make people gay ('cause I wanna stay away from anything that would ever make me a queer). Cakes aren't gay. Trust me. And look, no, I didn't make it myself. Some... uh... some French baker made it. Yep. I rung him up and told 'im, "Hey you bitch, make me a goddamn freakin', cake 'cause I wanna give it to my teammate since he's been a real sport," and he said, "Wee wee," and made it and shipped it over here. It's only the best French cakery. And you're turning it down. Well FINE. I guess I'll go get the $1,000 that I stole from Medic that I spent on your cake back if you don't want it then. Turning down what came from your own HOMELAND. Well shit. That's gratitude if ever I saw it.

Christ, come on. Just eat the thing. Don't be a frickin' candyass.

l_espionrogue February 14 2012, 09:17:20 UTC

Clearly zat cake is not from France. 'ow stupid do you 'sink I am?

And why ze 'ell would ze doctor give you zat much money to buy me a cake? You know what? No. I want zat cake out of our base. And if zis is you and ze doctor's way of trying to pursue me into joining your little "hugging buddy" 'sing you 'ave going on zen you can both go to 'ell. Why don't you try giving it to ze Sniper? 'e seems kind of sentimental. I'm sure 'e would be more zen appreciative.