RED Spy's Phone line
You 'ave reached ze RED Spy. I am unable to come to ze phone at ze moment. Per'aps I 'ave gone off to murder someone. Or, per'aps I am be'ind you..." *maniac laughter*
OOC- If you need to leave a message for ze Spy, please do so here ;)
OOC- If you need to leave a message for ze Spy, please do so here ;)
I received a strange telephone message from the RED Scout tonight. He informed me that you had, in the past, referred to me as a person of the lesbian persuasion. I enjoy it when teammates snitch on each other, but I was also sadly informed that you had offered to invite me to the most expensive, lavish steak dinner that you could afford as an apology.
Now, normally I would decline to such an invitation, but this could not have come at a more opportune time. I have just been able to schedule some free space on my busy schedule, and have taken the liberty of freeing some space from your work schedule as well. I will inform you of the restaurant that you shall be making your reservations at, and the time when we shall be arriving. Also, the RED Scout has also graciously offered to appear with us, so there will be three in our party. A threesome, if you will.
Once again, I thank you for your gracious and humble apology, although you had to employ your coworker to let me know about it. I trust that we shall enjoy ourselves in the evening to come. Oh, and don't expect to receive a paycheck this week. Your salary should be able to cover the check you will receive from the restaurant. Barely, at least.
Reply
Unfortunatly, as much as I would love so much to be in ze company of a beautiful woman such as yourself, 'owever as I might 'ave mentioned, I must leave ze fort for some time to spread ze ashes of my deceased fa'zer on ze mountain tops of France, and I will not be able to join you.
I 'ave already spoken wis RED Scout about ze matter, and 'e 'as been kind enough to offer to not only to go wis'out me, but to cover all charges from 'is own pay cheque. It is 'is way to thank you for being such a good Adminitsrator, and also apologize for lying about what I said, not to mention breaking one of ze cameras in ze intelligence room.
I know zat 'e can be obnoxious, but clearly, ze boy can also be very sweet when 'e wants to be, and I 'sink ze two of you will 'ave a lovely evening toge'zer.
Reply
And I am completely sure that the Scout has not lied about what you said. I do not need to remind you that I have security installed around the entire fort, in case some crazed assassin decides to sneak into your base at night and murder you all or, god forbid, steal our intelligence. With the addition of security cameras, I have a number of microphones hidden around the fort which record everything you all say. I will have to scrub a couple hours more of recordings, and although I do not yet have proof that you said what he claims, you have said some rather unsavory things about myself in the past which I believe you should be apologizing for. Ergo, our dinner.
And what a lovely restaurant we'll be visiting, too. Do you know that they garnish their steaks with gold flakes and truffles? It is absolutely delicious. I suggest that you and Scout try their caviar as well while we are there. It is imported from Montreal, so I am not sure if you have tried it already or not.
I will be looking forward to your swift return.
...oh, and the Scout broke the security camera? I shall have to think of an extra special punishment for him then. Perhaps I will have him pay for dessert as well. You can pay a small percentage of it as well, since you failed to inform me of this until now.
Reply
Eh...of course, Madame. I would be very 'appy to accompany bos of you when it is more convienant. I'm sure we will all 'ave a splendid time. I will be sure to inform you as soon as I return. Until zen, Au revior, madame.
*some fumbling sounds with the phone can be heard*
....SACCRE BLEU!! Zat stupid fucking boy! I swear I'm going to kill him! *gasp* Oh sheet, ze phone!
*click*
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