today was a good day. one of the best yet this year. i went to kids service, where i was assigned my four kiddos. austin, andrew, sky, and mallory. ages 7-11. i love them. i went to service (i haven't done that in months) and afterwards emily invited me to go to lunch with her and erica. so i did, and i had fun. we went to panera, where emily was ( Read more... )

i've been so sick. dizzy, headaches, throwing up, verge of passing out etc. for the last three days. throughout all of this though there is silje. a few months back, i think i blogged about how i had a dream about running into her in the street, and her stopping me. i knew it was her, and it was just weird. She grabbed my arm and rolled back the ( Read more... )

i finally got my period. i haven't had it since october.
i'm so sick right now. nothing sounds good.
sinus headache.

i don't want to write about food, weight, binging, or purging ( Read more... )

its christmas eve. i've put in almost 35 hours this week. we did christmas last night since mom and i both worked all day today, and preston is at his girlfriends. every day feels the same. not once have i gotten excited about the holidays. i've felt the same as november, as september, as july. completely numb and out of touch. its pouring down ( Read more... )

like the beginning of fall '09 I was late on updating about the end of the semester. most of my finals were easy, just long. the hardest hebrew, which I know I failed, was my last one and the stress took a major toll on my body. I couldn't sleep, or eat, and had chest pain for a good 12 hours after the exam. The only day I have off in the next ( Read more... )

i am glass and barbed wire.
one touch, and i shatter.
i'm not who i used to be.
i am so far gone.
the cold settles hard and deep
into my bones
no matter how many layers i wear
i am exhausted.

i went to dr ragsdale's office to ask about dropping hebrew. he asked me to sit down and shut the door. i did. he asked me if i wasn't in class friday because of my anxiety. i told him it was partly that and the fact that i was sick, and called into work. he asked if he could ask me something. i said sure. he asked if i was suicidal. i think i ( Read more... )

i cut my green beans and peppers
into a million tiny pieces.
they watch me like a hawk
from across the room.

my old coworker joe got ocean is theory to play here along with his band goodbye travail. they were nice enough to let me in the boneyard(the brothers) early, and i hung out with goodbye travail at a booth while ocean is theory ate. about five minutes after i sit down, both josh and clay turn around and go, hey kristin! hey guys, whats up? joe ( Read more... )