when the door closes
when the door closes . 00
pg-13 (jooyeon/g.o, soyeon/seungho)
they've only betrayed each other as much as they've let their hearts betray them.
a/n: one of my first chaptered fics that i'm actually going to work hard on. feedback and ideas would be much appreciated!
- inspired by this
[ 00 ] when the door closes
two years ago
'jooyeon, please, stop ..'
his fingers reach out to grab hers (far, but not far enough) and the next thing he knows, his cheek is on fire. she stands there in front of him, tall, mighty, and insanely shattered, crying these broken words that he can't really understand - yet they somehow find a way to ring bright and clear in his ears.
'i trusted you!' she's tempted to slap him again, have the back of her hand connect right with his cheek and hurt him just as much as he hurt her.
'and you broke that! you broke that and got drunk and kissed soyeon, out of all people!' the tears gather around the rims of her eyes as she shoves and hits, using all her strength to fight him away as he presses closer against her, his embrace trying to engulf her into his chest - and he wins.
her shallow cries enveloped by his own, a silent i'm sorry and the fragmented response of it's over.
it's the last time he ever holds her in his arms and inhales her, but the first time he feels a blow in his heart - leaving damage that he knows can never be fixed knowing that she's not his anymore, knowing that she probably never will be again.
(and it cuts deep, the sharp edge of the way that she looks at him after that night, the way that she doesn't look at him. the way she doesn't smile and how her face falls at every time his name is mentioned - it cuts deeper and deeper and he's bleeding this love that he'll never be able to give to anyone else except her. and now, she doesn't want it.)
-
'you guys kissed?'
seungho is incredulous. (he's trying to figure out the sudden aching in his chest, the reason why he suddenly wants to punch byunghee in the face, and he can't put his finger on it - but when he finally does, it scares the shit out of him.)
he's never seen her more ashamed then at that moment, her eyes tinting with tears that he hadn't seen in years, not ever since she decided to leave snsd, and he reaches and wants to touch her (but she's so fragile at that moment that if he grazes her skin, he knows she'll just break.) soyeon can't even bring herself to speak correctly.
'jooyeon .. i .. i did that to jooyeon,' and the sobs come.
he stares and watches as her tiny body shakes so hard with cries that he thinks she might just shatter, but what he doesn't realize is at that moment, he feels his heart disintegrate slowly as well.
(seungho can't bring himself to hug her because he knows they're not on the same page. because soyeon is still stuck on the page of seungho being her best friend for the past six years - and at that moment, the one defining moment where his fingers decided to flip to the next chapter, he kind of realizes that he loves her, and that maybe .. just maybe .. she's in that chapter in byunghee's book instead.)
-
things are never really the same after that night.
'did you get slapped?' seungho asks byunghee when they're alone back at the dorm.
it's a question that stings like a bitch and the blackout of sound clearly indicates the answer to be a harsh and bitter yes. seungho simply nods his head, 'good, because now i don't have to punch you in the face.' it's a little more hostile then he had originally intended - but he figures it does the fool right.
'what?' byunghee spits back with a leery tone that matches his glare.
seungho doesn't bother to repeat himself, but he figures that he is smart enough to figure it out on his own.
'shit. don't tell me you like her.'
it's a mute response that causes byunghee to grimace.
seungho simply lifts his shoulders and shakes his head, 'it's okay. she was never mine to lose in the first place.'
-
soyeon and jooyeon were never close, but they were close enough for jooyeon to call out soyeon is simply being a back stabbing whore.
but she doesn't.
'jooyeon,' her voice quivers in the girl's presence, but what slashes at her heart is the small smile that pulls on the corner of the girl's lips. jooyeon inhales slowly with this smile that breaks both of them, her words easing into the silence that threatens to detonate everything that they know - their friendship, their life.
'it's .. not okay,' she says in a whisper (but soyeon can hear the words loud and she knows that there is no underlying meaning .. she simply knows that it's not okay.)
'i'm going to debut soon,' jooyeon states with a nod of her head and she just needs soyeon to nod in response because any other words can simply cause her to shiver. (she just needs soyeon to know that she's hurt, but she doesn't say it because it doesn't get anymore obvious than the emptiness in her eyes.)
'maybe this is for the best.'
they hug and soyeon is the first one to crack with a whimper.
(jooyeon joins her only seconds later, and the silence presses on to them the fact that only time will heal this. that even though their friendship will never be the same - that it'll be okay.
because every door that closes simply opens a new one, and jooyeon plans on closing this one off with a lock and throwing away the key.)
they were never supposed to fall in love (they were never supposed to break the friendships.)
now
seungho and byunghee (now formally known as g.o) throw away their past from an unexpecting cheolyong and changsung - but sanghyun still senses the underlying tension that threatens to break the group, so he leaves it be.
g.o thinks it's amazing how he has managed not to run into her (but he knows after school is dubbed the sexiest girl group in korea, and he tries not to laugh too loud when he remembers that jooyeon was this awkward kind of sexy.)
seungho thinks it's amazing that he can still talk to her (but he expects the once in awhile, so how is byunghee-oppa? and he pretends not to crumble.)
'it's been two years,' g.o doesn't know why he says it and seungho doesn't know why either, but they feel like it's okay to talk about it now.
'do you miss her?' seungho asks, sitting on his bed. for the first time in a long time, he's a little too scared to look up and see his expression, but he thinks he knows the emptiness and indignation that flickers across his friend's face at the question.
g.o thinks about all the different ways that he could answer the question, but he doesn't.
(even though a yes would simply say it all.)
he doesn't reply, but seungho's phone goes off just at the right moment.
'hello, who is this? ... jooyeon?'
both of their hearts stop.
next chapter.