when the door closes
when the door closes . 01
pg-13 (jooyeon/g.o, soyeon/seungho)
they've only betrayed each other as much as they've let their hearts betray them.
a/n: one of my first chaptered fics that i'm actually going to work hard on. feedback and ideas would be much appreciated!
- inspired by this
- previous chapters: 00
- jooyeon isn't a complete bitch, not yet. i'm thinking of doing glimpses of the past to show the relationships before all of this. sorry i it's really scattered , i'm not all that great with chaptered fics.
[01] it's a cold mess
'seungho!' her voice is cheery and all too familiar for him not to smile.
g.o's face hardens into stone and he figures, this isn't any of his business. if she wanted to talk to him (which he knew she never wanted to do again) she'd call him herself - and not through seungho.
so he turns and leaves the room like he was never there in the first place, like the sudden sound of her name didn't make his heart beat just a little faster than it is supposed to.
seungho comes out of the room two minutes later and pulls g.o aside from the boys who were watching music videos (all be it discreetly, but sanghyun tries to pretend like he isn't listening.)
'she invited me to lunch.' and g.o gets it.
she invited seungho, not him.
(and byunghee knows this isn't his fault, but g.o wouldn't mind decking seungho in the face at the moment.)
-
jooyeon and seungho had always been good friends.
(but the public simply knew more about soyeon and seungho - or at least, as much as they could know.)
inevitably, jooyeon and seungho were the awkward friends, but the good kind anyways. both equally quite and unusually fierce, and seungho really wants to believe that they were good enough friends for her to call him two years later just so that they could actually catch up (catch up on him and not on g.o) oh, he really wants to believe it.
so he does.
jooyeon actually does kind of miss her awkward buddy. but she doesn't think she should call him that anymore, seeing as though byunghee bestowed the name upon the two in the first place.
'who were you just on the phone with?' gahee asks with a suggestive arched brow, eyes peering and expression turning smug.
'seungho,' she tries to keep her answers curt and vague, avoiding the pressing question of you mean .. g.o's best friend? because jooyeon isn't some kind of whore who just wants to hook up with her ex's best friend in spite. she figures she's much classier than that and gahee only hopes so.
'we actually were really good friends.'
jooyeon firmly believes they were so she swallows the lump in her throat because everyone in after school knows jooyeon's broken love story that started the first time they all met:
'i just kind of really fucking hate guys.'
it all started out with that, grabbing the attention of bekah and jungah and gahee - but most importantly soyoung, when there were only five of them and they were the core (when she still felt like they were a group of sisters and not just group of pretty faces.)
and she spills her heart and shows it to them, how it's bruised, battered, and very much broken - so she could care less if she was an ulzzang or not because it doesn't matter if you're a fucking goddess, boys just break hearts. and now lizzy and nana and raina and uee all know the story, but they don't talk about it with jooyeon (because she gets fierce even with jungah when she mentions the topic, and all the new members need to believe that she's not broken because if she is, what does that make them?)
'just make sure whenever you go out, you come back on time for practice,' and they leave it at that.
-
soyeon reads over seungho's text to her: what's up!?
and it's a, not much kekeke. you'll never believed who called me today.
oooh ~ who? was it my mom?
^^; no no. jooyeon-sshi.
soyeon pretends like it's not a big deal when she feels this pang in her heart and a stinging in the atmosphere. she bites her tongue and sucks up her breath because she wonders if this is karma. because maybe she knows i like seungho. and her heart hurts when she bitterly thinks that maybe she deserves this because of what she did with byunghee two years ago.
('it wasn't like a peck on the lips or anything like that, it was more' she whispers to eunjung who lies with her beneath the sheets, giving her unnie a comforting hug. because it was a slutty, messy, drunken night - and everyone makes mistakes and they usually bite people in the ass.)
nevertheless, soyeon respects jooyeon.
she's surprised there wasn't a bitch slap or hair pulling or name calling, but besides, it isn't like she hasn't heard the phrase soyeon, you're a slut before. not like it ever mattered from the haters, but she tells herself that once upon a time jooyeon and her were friends. great friends.
but it was this sick hope of hers that lingered, because she thought that maybe jooyeon would actually forgive her, and they know there is no full closure. just backstage hugs that make them both feel empty because they're not friends anymore, and it makes her wonder if she ever was actually friends with any of the three.
(soyeon sees how when t-ara and mblaq get together, g.o automatically fends to qri. how he doesn't even look at her anymore - and she wonders if he blames her as much as he blames himself. soyeon notices how seungho's eyes don't twinkle as much as they used too, and maybe that their relationship is just built on the years they've known each other, and nothing else. and she knows that she's cut jooyeon deeper than she ever wanted to, and that only time could heal it and their hearts would hold up - strong, but all be it not strong enough for one phone call.)
tell her i say hi!
she presses the backspace.
that sounds like it'll be fun!
the little exclamation point can't catch how her voice cracks. (she doesn't tell seungho how jooyeon won't even look her in the eye anymore.)
-
'where are you going hyung?' mir bounces off the wall and to his leader's side, eyelash batting and a secret message of bring me with you! or else i'll have to go with joonie to the gym! and seungho glares simply indicating that this isn't an open invitation event.
'going too lunch with jooyeon-sshi,'
and mir doesn't want to go anymore, because now he knows that's why g.o was cursing silently to himself about twenty minutes ago.
seungho is about to walk out the door before he feels fingers wrap around his wrist, pulling him back.
'seungho,' g.o mumbles (he doesn't know why it's bothering him this much, but except he really does. he wonders why him, not me? and he knows it is because he broke her heart and he's dead to her. but she doesn't know that he wants to call every day - because he doesn't.)
he doesn't say anything after that, but seungho completely understands.
just tell me if she's okay.
-
'you know, you're still really pretty,' it's an awkward statement, but she still smiles.
'you're still pretty badass,' it's an awkward statement, but he still smiles.
and they hug. (it's mind blowing how it's been two years of not seeing each other but really seeing each other. and she knows that he isn't really the one who she wants to see, but she wants to hold his hand, because seungho can probably guide her step by step. and it's mind blowing how it actually hasn't been two years since he's last seen jooyeon - but more like a year and eleven months.)
a year and eleven months ago
'jooyeon .. byunghee really wants to know if you're okay, and you're not talking to soyeon anymore either,' he stands in front of her, his eyes narrowing at her blank expression and pale skin. the mentioning of their names make her heart hurt - or maybe it's just the alcohol in her system making her sensitive to all the pain in the world, but seungho was the one who found her at the bar.
'can we not pretend seungho?' she asks in a bitter tone.
'can we not pretend that byunghee isn't a douche bag and soyeon wasn't a whore - '
'jooyeon .. '
'can we not pretend that he didn't crush my heart and that i'm fucking hurt and that your so called best friend soyeon isn't any better than him!' he's only thankful that the music is louder than her silent sobs, and he just holds her.
and she kisses him.
(seungho lies to byunghee that night.
'where were you?'
'no where, just out for a walk, stopped by at the club down the strip.'
and he goes to sleep with his eyes half open and his heart hurting for awhile, because he wonders how fucked up the relationship between the four them could possibly get.)
'so .. it's been a year and eleven months since i've last seen you,' seungho emphasizes the date because it's all that needs emphasis, and she offers an apologetic smile.
'i didn't mean not to call you after that night .. i was hungover and nevertheless ashamed.'
'it didn't mean anything,' he makes the point clear because he knows it didn't. for either of them.
(and they wonder why they can't say that about byunghee and soyeon - they wonder why they can't just say it didn't mean anything for them, but the whole point was that it did.)
jooyeon nods her head, thinking that they could easily justify their actions. it was a month after the break up anyways.
'but i did miss you,' i missed byunghee too.
'i know,' i know you really don't miss me as much as you think you do.
he's straightforward and blunt and her facade is just as good as the one he's had for eight years (so he applauds her, because he knows she'll become a good actress when he sees her stone disguise.)
'byunghee's heart is broken.'
jooyeon doesn't surpress the smile that pulls on the corners of her lips.
'i think g.o looks pretty whole now a days.'
(seungho realizes that this is jooyeon now - and that the stoic exterior isn't an act anymore.)
-
g.o waits in the room for seungho to come home, and once he enters, seungho's eyes are darker than usual.
'she's ... she's okay.'
and it stings like a bitch to know that byunghee isn't.
-
'soyeon,' jooyeon blinks some when she finds the girl at her dorm door at eight o clock at night.
soyeon looks at jooyeon and realizes how different she looks. how frigid she looks.
and she bows, ninety degrees, hair falling into her face and jooyeon let's out a small laugh.
'i'm sorry. i'm really sorry jooyeon-sshi, but please, it's been two years - don't hold this against me.'
'i guess seungho told you. don't be so scared, you won't lose him to me. not like i lost byunghee to you.' she's ice cold now a days.
-
jooyeon presses ignore when byunghee calling appears on her phone screen. (he owed her that fucking phone call two years ago.)
and it's the voicemail she never hears when she presses delete.
jooyeon .. we need to talk. it's been two years, please don't involve seungho or soyeon in all of this and just call me back when you can. i assure you we both have a lot to say.