Clapham Junction meets Dinerfic meets Macro.
My cousin apparently has a brand new puppy. He's blue, he's tiny, he's been a bit poorly, and he's called Bernard (Which should be BERNARRRR, obviously, to anyone who's seen Members Only). I've died of cute before even meeting BERNARRR.
Gah, I'm so bored. I wanna *do* things, I wanna *meet* people, I wanna *go* places! My entire life feels rather pointless right now.
Anyway, continuing with the pointlessness. I had an excellent dream last night. I mean, one of Those Dreams. Except that my memory has very cruelly decided to enact some sort of self-censorship by not letting me remember any details. All I know is that we were both very funny, and then it went beyond Actually no, it was stilll very funny even then. But beyond that level of astonishing detail, ARGH. CAN'T REMEMBER. It was just *good*.
Speaking of censorship and the like, finally got round to watching Clapham Junction properly, as opposed to joining it halfway through and rewinding to all the talked about bits. I don't know when I started being affected by ADD. Anyway, it was a bit bleak in places but provoking nevertheless. I can understand why people were a bit peeved by the lack of positive characters in there, though. AND WHERE WERE THE LESBIANS? Y'know, out of interest?
The best story, I think, was the male Lolita/Suspected paedophile plotline. Thought it was handled (pardon the pun) quite well and an interesting role reversal there.
But of course, my main excitement was seeing MR WILBY. Out of his Diner habitat, and meeting his old friend Rupert. Cue an epic non worksafe story of closets, dinner parties and real unexpected buttsecks.
"Hi Darling, it's the sultan" Shit, wrong character. For the purposes of this scene, he appears to have borrowed Bobbeh2's emo glasses. To set a good impression or something.
And he was all, "Yeah Bobbeh, whateva. You only wear them to look clevur."
And then the cameraman got a bit carried away with the close-up which made James a tad tetchy. Grr.
He can't work in such intrusive conditions! Grr.
Stopping off at the local grotty men's loos, James is in for a surprise when an old friend turns up.
"Why, I say old bean, it's Rupert Graves isn't it? Didn't we bonk each other senseless in Maurice?..... "
*Crikey*
"Gosh, we did!" S'turn up for the books. NO. MUST. STOP. INSERTING. BOBBEH2.
That must mean........ IZ COCK TIEM YAY!!!11
LET ME SHOW U MY COCK. MY COCK, LET ME SHOW U IT.
Haha, that is so not work safe.
"NO, IZ NOT COCK TIEM NAOW. LATERZ."
*LATERZ*
Oh look, he's been taking nightime classes at Paul Thomson's School of Watching!
There's a hole in the wall and a very happy (seriously, his little face is a joy to behold) man in the neighbouring cubicle. USE UR IMAGINATIONZ.
.................................. UNEXPECTED BUTTSECKS.
And so on and so forth.
("Jaaaaaaammmmmes? Are you going to be long in there?")
And then he literally gets caught with his pants down by far-too-lovely-he's-a-goner bloke.
Cue dinner party as these posh types do.
"Christ you look fucked!"
".... Do I?"
"Yeah. You could do with a stiff one."
... Oi! Someone's already filled in the innuendo before me! Tch.
"OMG HAI AGAIN!"
*COCK TIEM STILL POSSIBLE*
Yes, that's *exactly* what he's talking about. SRSLY. But for the rest of the dinner party, James is going to perform the Climbing Back into Closet trick. It's a homosexual vanishing act.
"I think we can all do with a little excitement in our lives." RLY.
*LATERZ OUTSIDE BATHROOM*
RUPERT: "AM READY FOR COCK TIEMS NAOW."
JAMES: "You know, you have been rather *tiresome* tonight with your snide looks..."
(ie: "DO NOT WANT COCK TIEMS NAOW. AM GOING TO TOILET 4 REALZ".)
RUPERT: "BTW, NICE COCK."
JAMES: ...
Becky didn't even write that one.
Finally, James regrets his somewhat tetchy dismissal of Rupert and contemplates arranging a more convenient time period in the future. For the purposes of this scene, he appears to have borrowed Bobbeh2's hair.
The end.
Gah, I'm so bored. I wanna *do* things, I wanna *meet* people, I wanna *go* places! My entire life feels rather pointless right now.
Anyway, continuing with the pointlessness. I had an excellent dream last night. I mean, one of Those Dreams. Except that my memory has very cruelly decided to enact some sort of self-censorship by not letting me remember any details. All I know is that we were both very funny, and then it went beyond Actually no, it was stilll very funny even then. But beyond that level of astonishing detail, ARGH. CAN'T REMEMBER. It was just *good*.
Speaking of censorship and the like, finally got round to watching Clapham Junction properly, as opposed to joining it halfway through and rewinding to all the talked about bits. I don't know when I started being affected by ADD. Anyway, it was a bit bleak in places but provoking nevertheless. I can understand why people were a bit peeved by the lack of positive characters in there, though. AND WHERE WERE THE LESBIANS? Y'know, out of interest?
The best story, I think, was the male Lolita/Suspected paedophile plotline. Thought it was handled (pardon the pun) quite well and an interesting role reversal there.
But of course, my main excitement was seeing MR WILBY. Out of his Diner habitat, and meeting his old friend Rupert. Cue an epic non worksafe story of closets, dinner parties and real unexpected buttsecks.
"Hi Darling, it's the sultan" Shit, wrong character. For the purposes of this scene, he appears to have borrowed Bobbeh2's emo glasses. To set a good impression or something.
And he was all, "Yeah Bobbeh, whateva. You only wear them to look clevur."
And then the cameraman got a bit carried away with the close-up which made James a tad tetchy. Grr.
He can't work in such intrusive conditions! Grr.
Stopping off at the local grotty men's loos, James is in for a surprise when an old friend turns up.
"Why, I say old bean, it's Rupert Graves isn't it? Didn't we bonk each other senseless in Maurice?..... "
*Crikey*
"Gosh, we did!" S'turn up for the books. NO. MUST. STOP. INSERTING. BOBBEH2.
That must mean........ IZ COCK TIEM YAY!!!11
LET ME SHOW U MY COCK. MY COCK, LET ME SHOW U IT.
Haha, that is so not work safe.
"NO, IZ NOT COCK TIEM NAOW. LATERZ."
*LATERZ*
Oh look, he's been taking nightime classes at Paul Thomson's School of Watching!
There's a hole in the wall and a very happy (seriously, his little face is a joy to behold) man in the neighbouring cubicle. USE UR IMAGINATIONZ.
.................................. UNEXPECTED BUTTSECKS.
And so on and so forth.
("Jaaaaaaammmmmes? Are you going to be long in there?")
And then he literally gets caught with his pants down by far-too-lovely-he's-a-goner bloke.
Cue dinner party as these posh types do.
"Christ you look fucked!"
".... Do I?"
"Yeah. You could do with a stiff one."
... Oi! Someone's already filled in the innuendo before me! Tch.
"OMG HAI AGAIN!"
*COCK TIEM STILL POSSIBLE*
Yes, that's *exactly* what he's talking about. SRSLY. But for the rest of the dinner party, James is going to perform the Climbing Back into Closet trick. It's a homosexual vanishing act.
"I think we can all do with a little excitement in our lives." RLY.
*LATERZ OUTSIDE BATHROOM*
RUPERT: "AM READY FOR COCK TIEMS NAOW."
JAMES: "You know, you have been rather *tiresome* tonight with your snide looks..."
(ie: "DO NOT WANT COCK TIEMS NAOW. AM GOING TO TOILET 4 REALZ".)
RUPERT: "BTW, NICE COCK."
JAMES: ...
Becky didn't even write that one.
Finally, James regrets his somewhat tetchy dismissal of Rupert and contemplates arranging a more convenient time period in the future. For the purposes of this scene, he appears to have borrowed Bobbeh2's hair.
The end.