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Fic: Playing Pretend [8/9] (Kirk/McCoy, NC17)
Title: Playing Pretend [8/9]
Authors: andrealyn and inell
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: Adult/NC17
Summary: When a visiting diplomat asks Bones out on a date, a little white lie starts a chain of events that changes his relationship with Jim
Word Count: 9590
Beta: florahart
A/N: Thank you all so much for the comments! Previous parts found here. We'll be posting our Kirk/McCoy collab fics to kmficsbyus for easy archiving and such. Feel free to watch the comm if you'd like. And thanks again for reading!
Calliope II was a lovely place. Under normal circumstances, Jim would have really enjoyed the opportunity to visit the planet on official business. It wasn’t often that they actually got sent somewhere pleasant, without trade talks or wars or disease necessitating the Enterprise’s visit. This place was a lot like Hawaii, or how Jim figured the island paradise must be from what he’d read and seen in holovids. He hadn’t actually ever been there, but this was close.
Beautiful sky, brilliant blue water, pure white sand, perfect weather, and nice people all mixed together to create a wonderful place. He could honestly tell Arlington that he was impressed and mean it, for once. That didn’t mean that Jim was looking forward to staying here, however. While it was good to get off the ship, since he’d been going a little stir crazy since the supply drop four days ago, he was stuck pretending to be the boyfriend here. And that was pretty difficult to do when Bones was avoiding him, and he had little interest in being around Bones anyway.
After they beamed down with Arlington, he took Bones off somewhere, and Jim was left with some assistant with nice tits and purple skin. His luggage had been taken to his room, and he’d been taken on a tour of the surrounding area, but he'd already exhausted his interest in looking at things, and it wasn't a situation in which he could simply go back to the ship and get some work done; he'd risk offending a Federation favorite. After a long couple of hours of following Moilah around, he decided enough was enough, and told her to forget the itinerary; they were going cliff diving. It probably wasn’t the safest thing to do around here, but his arm had healed, and he had to let out some of the energy before he was stuck playing pretend again.
Jim had just finished his third jump when some uptight guy in a suit showed up with an envelope. The note inside instructed him to go to room 625 of their hotel, which he assumed meant it was time to clean up and get ready for a late lunch. Moilah gave him a towel and a flirty smile that was tempting but didn't involve the dimples that had kept him preoccupied recently, so he said his thanks and goodbyes before he went back to the hotel. His hair was still wet and his uniform was damp when he reached his room and stared at the door, wondering how he was supposed to get inside without a code or key.
McCoy had spent the last few hours staring at a hotel room and wondering if he was supposed to do something to it. Days had let McCoy think about what he had done in the office, what he had said, and the fear that seemed to gnaw at his common sense and make him do idiotic things. If Jim was serious about something, then who was McCoy to deny that he knew how to want something? And they were officially on Calliope II and that meant that Arlington wouldn't be in their lives anymore.
It meant that anything they did could officially be real starting the moment they wanted it to. First, though, Bones had to sit Jim down and apologize heavily for being the biggest asshole in the whole galaxy. As far as the room went, though, what he did want to do was minimal. He got a couple of drinks out and managed to put together something resembling a meal (collard greens, pot roast, deep-friend zucchini and a pie) and had changed into a t-shirt and decent slacks. Every time he thought about trying harder, he didn't want to seem like he was trying too hard.
Besides, the view from the balcony pretty much worked in his favor and did all the work for him.
The computer indicated that there was activity outside the room and he rattled off a quick set of instructions to unlock the door. He was still in the small kitchen of the room when he heard the door slide open. "Come on in," he called, thinking that it'd just be one of the crew, seeing as Jim had that itinerary to go through and McCoy had no idea when he'd end up getting that note, though he hoped it found Jim sooner rather than later.
The door opened on its own. Jim stepped inside and frowned when he heard Bones' voice. He couldn't even really take a moment to enjoy the view or appreciate the size of the room, which could have fit his dorm room at least three times, and he hadn't even been into the bedroom yet. He didn't see Bones yet, so he didn't know if Arlington was still with him or not. He focused and forced the fake 'I'm a wonderful boyfriend and we're an amazing couple' smile onto his face before he walked further into the room and looked around the corner towards a kitchen area. Damn, this wasn't like any hotel room he'd ever stayed in before.
"Hi Bones. Something sure smells good," Jim said, not looking at Bones even as he put on the act. "I could have gotten lunch somewhere, though, so you really didn't have to cook and invite me here. You work too hard, you know?" He glanced around to see if he noticed Arlington lurking anywhere.
Days of avoidance and this was how they were going to start talking again. McCoy might have laughed if he didn't find it so absolutely pathetic and sad in its own way. He turned from where he was standing by the sink and trying to clean things up. Sure, it wasn't a normal hotel room, but he hadn't exactly wanted one, and a long conversation with Arlington had procured him exactly what he needed in terms of both food and supplies. "Jim," he sighed out the name and gestured to the couch in the sitting area. "Come on, sit down. We need to talk."
Actually, they needed to do a lot more than talk, but apologies came first on the list no matter what.
When Bones turned around and sighed, Jim knew that they were alone. His forced smile faded, and he glanced at the sofa before looking out the glass doors of the balcony. "I don't really think that there's anything to say, Bones. What, did you need me to do something else?" he asked, unable to keep some of his anger out of his tone. "If so, just send it in an official communication so I don't forget and deviate from the expected plan. Unfortunately, not all of us are as good at acting as you."
He deserved that. He deserved any comments that Jim had to offer, but he didn't have to like them. McCoy shut off the stove and wandered over to sit on the couch, staring at Jim the whole while and thinking to himself that he really could spend as much time as he had in the world just watching over him and trying to protect him. "You little brat," he remarked in wonder, shaking his head. "Sit the fuck down and stop the petulant act."
Jim turned his head and glared at Bones. It was really taking all of the control that he'd gained since becoming captain to resist the urge to punch him in his handsome damn face. "Fuck you," he said sharply. "You don't have the right to give me orders and expect me to do whatever you say. We've just tried that, and it failed miserably, or have you forgotten?"
"If you would sit down, we could talk about this," McCoy pointed out, his voice strained as he kept his eyes on Jim. "Because this is me trying to apologize. You know I'm crap at it to begin with, but I'm genuine. I really am sorry that I put you through this, Jim. Hell, you know I never want anything bad to ever happen to you. Why would I change my tune now? I'm sorry," he said, putting it bluntly. "I really am. But we still need to talk and you have got to listen to me. Can you do that?"
"Why should I listen, Bones?" Jim asked. "I tried talking to you the other day, and you shut me out. Hell, you not only did then, but you carried it through in other areas of our lives, too. So, you're sorry. I get that. I really do, and I believe that you mean it. But why should I sit down and listen when you wouldn't even try talking to me since all this mess got complicated?"
"Because I want to talk to you about that!" McCoy snapped. His patience was already short and it didn't matter what kind of slow night he had planned for the both of them. If this was how they were going to deal with things, then McCoy was going to play the same cards. "I was a panicked idiot the other day. I thought you died, so excuse me for not being in the most emotionally secure place, Jim," he drawled, pissy. "Sit down and let me tell you something. Then you can decide if you want to run away."
"Oh, that's right. Put it all on me. That's what you do best, isn't it? This was your fucked up plan, Bones. I tried to warn you that we needed to think it through more, but you just wouldn't listen. And, yeah, I agreed to do it, which was so fucking stupid considering that I knew it would be tough to keep the lines in place," Jim said, mostly talking to himself now because he was frustrated by this whole thing. "And don't pull that shit. The whole 'run away' taunting? You're the one who ran, Bones. Not me. Not this time." He sneered slightly as he stomped over and sat down on the sofa, glaring at Bones. "Fine. I'm sitting. Not that you even bothered asking or saying please, asshole."
McCoy really didn't know how to feel about them fighting as foreplay. Because it made a lot of sense and also said a lot about their relationship in the past. "Jim, we met because I tend to run, it's not like this is a new aspect of our friendship," he pointed out sharply, glad that he had at least gotten Jim to sit down. The next step was getting him to shut up, but McCoy was a doctor, damn it, not a magician. "Okay, I'm saying this once and only once. First of all, I'm sorry," he got out, because that couldn't be said enough. This was the far more important part. "Jim," he said, bracing his words with a deep breath. "I wasn't faking it for a single minute."
"But you don't run from me!" Jim punched his fist against the cushion he was sitting on, tapping his foot on the floor as he tried to remain seated so he could listen to whatever the hell Bones felt was so important. If he heard one more apology, though, he was going to punch him, damn it. He frowned when Bones kept talking, staring at him as he tried to process what he was saying. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," McCoy continued, feeling more than vaguely uncomfortable with the whole situation, "that if the supply mission hadn't gone the way that it had, if things had been smoother, that this would have been me asking you to make it a permanent thing instead of me sitting here trying to apologize my ass off for rushing us into a stupid and stubborn plan, for ignoring you, and for being a general jackass." He gestured idly, as if one mere flick of his hand could somehow make up for everything he had done. "I mean that every damn kiss and minute with you, I wasn't being an actor, just a goddamn doctor."
“Oh.” Jim blinked and realized that he didn’t know what to say. He ran his hand over his face then through his hair. “It really was a pretty stupid plan,” he muttered, “but it was kinda fun, before everything went to shit.” He worried his bottom lip and snuck a glance at Bones, still trying to figure out how to respond to this now that his anger was fading into confusion and possibly a little hope. “I’m not an actor, either, Bones. “ He tilted his head slightly as he considered it and smiled slightly. “Permanent though? I know we’ve been friends for years, but we’ve only had one date, so maybe it’s too soon to talk about marriage?”
McCoy shook his head. "Unbelievable," he muttered under his breath and got up from the couch to gesture to the table. "I made you dinner. I figured it'd be some kind of gesture. I don't know exactly what I'm trying to accomplish, but hell if I know. Just eat the damn food and think about it while I try not to die of humiliation while you leave me hanging here." At least Jim wasn't taking a swing at him and maybe, just maybe, they had already made their decisions. Maybe.
This was confusing. Bones was acting like Jim was toying with him or something, and he didn't understand why. He'd just told him that he hadn't been acting, either. Hell, he'd even joked about marriage to see if Bones would give him some idea what he meant when he talked about permanent. Instead, he got pissy Bones muttering about food and humiliation. "You know, contrary to popular belief, I think women might be easier to understand than men," he said, shaking his head as he leaned back. "Maybe they talk too much and share too much about their feelings and shit, but at least I don't feel completely clueless and lost about this sort of thing."
Jim frowned at Bones and rubbed the back of his neck. "Why are you dying of humiliation, Bones? And what am I supposed to think about while we're eating? Give me some direction here because this is a lot to take in all at once."
McCoy got to his feet and offered both hands for Jim to take, leaning against the couch above him, thighs pressed hard to the cushions and the fabric. "I'm dying of humiliation because I feel like an idiot having to ask you to be mine without pretending on a permanent basis, makes me feel like I'm sixteen. Add in the fact I don't know if you'd even want me after the stunts I pulled and...hell, Jim, it's not exactly something I can relax about." He let a terse smile show, but he didn't move and still offered his hands to Jim's. "Think about us being an us. For good, Jim. On the ship, in front of people, no more faking."
"We're already an us, Bones." Jim took Bones' hands and stood up. "From what I can tell, neither of us has been faking anything during the last week. And, yeah, I'm a little terrified by the idea because my longest relationship has actually been this thing between us, and I'm probably going to fuck something up, and you're going to get angry with me, and we'll end up fighting a lot, but that means there can now be make-up sex, right? Also, I tried writing the love notes, and you know how dirty those turned out. I can do the hand holding, though, and definitely the kissing."
McCoy wrapped his arm around Jim's waist as he tugged him closer when they were both on their feet, a small laugh caught in his throat and bubbling forward as he grinned at Jim, running his fingers idly through his hair, leaning in to indulge in one of those kisses. It was slow and precarious, nipping lightly at Jim's lower lip, brushing their bodies together as he lifted his head and let his lips brush Jim's upper lip. He eased away, only because of one important thing. "We're not ignoring my damned dinner. I spent a long time on that apology food," he insisted stubbornly. With a light smack to Jim's hip, he pointed in the direction of the kitchen. "Go. Sit."
"See, this is better than fighting," Jim murmured as Bones' lips pressed against his own. Instead of trying to figure out how they'd ended up here, he was just going to go with it. It felt right, being with Bones in a dating and boyfriendy way, and that's what really mattered. Besides, the kissing was amazing. He rolled his eyes when Bones stopped the teasing kiss to mention food. "If you're going to be my boyfriend for real, you need to learn how to say please sometimes. Also, I'm pretty confident I can do this faithful thing, but, just to clarify, that doesn't mean I can't have the occasional fantasy, right? Especially if you're there, too, and I share the details at some point?" He leaned up and kissed Bones thoroughly before he pulled back and started to walk to the table. "Will commitment sex be as good as honeymoon sex? Or do you have to have a ring to try to surpass those memories of the Ex?" He looked at Bones and smiled smugly. "You know that I can't resist a challenge, after all."
"I know better than to dare asking with you. I learned a long time ago that I tell you what to do and it gets done," McCoy noted ruefully, arching his brow as he tried to keep the distance between them as scant as possible, enjoying the way he could feel Jim breathing and the way he didn't have to hide the fact that he was aroused by being this close to Jim. "But I'll try the P-word once in a while. And to clarify, you can have as many dirty fantasies about whoever you want to dream about so long as they don't turn real because of anything, alien antics included," he noted sternly.
"You can ask. I've grown up a lot since becoming captain," Jim said. "You're just lucky that I think you're hot when you're being all demanding and bossy." He studied Bones' face and nodded. "All right. Fantasies are approved but no touching. I knew that part, by the way, even if I've never done this before. But you can't hold me anymore responsibility for some kind of forced alien bullshit than I could you. We don't know what we might come across out there. I won't willingly have sex with anyone else, though." Oddly enough, he thought it was a promise that he'd be able to keep, even if he hadn’t really thought about it before. He cared about Bones and didn't want anyone else, which was a little scary but something he was getting used to.
"Being demanding and bossy makes sure I get you to eat your greens and do all the things you don't otherwise do," McCoy pointed out in turn, a wicked and bemused smile sneaking up on his face. "And no, I won't hold you responsible for something like that. I'm not intolerant towards the universe's habit of fucking with us." While Jim took his time walking to the table, McCoy took the opportunity to check out his ass, head tilted to the side as he got distracted. "You can borrow my class ring," he mumbled, words vague and half-there. "We'll see how it goes from there."
When Bones went silent, Jim glanced over his shoulder and caught him staring at his ass. He paused on his way to the table and wiggled it, smiling mischievously before he continued walking. "Oh, honey. Your class ring?" he said, trying to achieve an awestruck and enthusiastic tone. "You're the best boyfriend ever!" He snickered. "And can I just say, once again, how weird it is to use that term to describe either of us?" He smiled as he sat down at the table. "Are you planning to eat or just stare at my ass all day?"
Jim had to start wiggling his damn ass and Bones lost track of all his thoughts. "Now that we're done the pretending, we can also be done with the pet names," he said (asked, hoped), because as entertaining as it was to see the reactive looks on their staff, a little part of him couldn't stop cringing with every 'baby' or 'honey'. Maybe it was just too early. Maybe it was just not the right words. "I'll eat, I'll eat, but you can't blame me for staring at a specimen that beautiful."
“You don’t like it when I call you honey, I know,” Jim said, giving Bones a curious look. “Does that mean you’re going to stop calling me lover and baby? I really find it difficult to keep a straight face when you use the first one, in all honesty.” He smiled suddenly. “But I sort of liked it when you called me darling, only because you sound all drawly and shit, which is sexy as hell.”
"Darling is what I called Joanna and the horses. I'm not sure which of them you'd rather feel closer to, but whichever it is, we'll make sure it fits," McCoy promised as he sat down at the table, uncovering dishes and finishing with the candied sweet potatoes, which was a personal favorite of his from a long way back, even if the caramel topping was going against all his lectures at Jim. "But, darling, whatever you like." He spooned food onto a plate for Jim, gesturing to the fridge. "There's some wine there, bring it if you're done flaunting your ass."
"Oh." Jim had trouble thinking about Bones calling his daughter or a horse darlin' in that sexy drawl that made Jim feel special every time he heard it, mostly because it had sounded more natural compared to the other endearments. He frowned in thought. "Well, I seem to recall there being a time when you compared me to a stallion, but I don't think either of those options is really appropriate if we're planning on trying this relationship thing," he said, looking Bones over as he prepared plates for them. “I’m not blaming you. My ass is amazing.” He nodded and kept a serious expression on his face for longer than he expected to manage it. Of course, it was true, even if it probably made him sound like a cocky asshole to talk about it. “You can admire it, or any other part of me that you want, after we eat..” Jim got up and retrieved the bottle of wine.
"Honest to god, will everyone let the stallion comparison go already, it was three years ago and I was already stressed from inheriting Medical," McCoy growled, not really minding so much as he was putting on protest for show. It wasn't as if it hadn't been a strange slip, but people had said far worse in their time on the ship. They had the whole night to go over things like this.
“Oh, please, Spock and I are the only ones who ever mention it.” Jim rolled his eyes as he sat back down and poured them each a glass of wine. “Besides, I like that you stood up for me, even if it was after I was sent to that frozen wasteland and nearly killed.” He arched a brow and smiled slightly. “Anyway, you didn’t want to break me or make me change, so it’s not something I’m likely to forget,” he said simply. “Did you make any plans with Arlington for this evening? I scrapped my itinerary earlier to go cliff diving, so I’m free for the rest of the day. "
McCoy went slightly colder at the mention of the incidents involving Delta Vega, which still haunted his nightmares a great deal of the time and wasn't something he particularly wanted to think about. "I think I might want to break you in a little," he mused, mostly to himself, but definitely distinctly aloud. "At least, in certain areas involving beds and sheets." Or maybe it was the other way around. "And Arlington and I had a talk. I basically begged him to give me this suite and a couple other favors thrown in so I could try and throw myself at your feet. Metaphorically," he added. "So I'm all yours, Jim."
"I'm not sure that I like hearing that you begged some good-looking older man who's the entire reason we started this charade that turned out not to be one really. Does he still want to get into your pants? If so, I can arrange for you to get my name tattooed on your ass or something." He smiled as he nudged his foot against Bones' leg. "All mine? I like the sound of that. I'm yours, too. For today or until whenever. Also, be warned, there’s so going to be lots of sex now that I’ve got you."
"Lots of sex, huh? You should've gotten to me five years ago, Jim, you could have maybe gotten a bit more flexibility than now. At least then I attempted to work out more than once a week."
“Five years ago, I wouldn’t have been ready to even consider the idea of a committed relationship, much less be a little excited about it. There’s also the whole bitter divorce not at all interested in sex thing and, oh, the fact that I didn’t even know you were open to the idea of having sex with men until this week,” Jim pointed out. “I distinctly remember testing you, at first, with random displays of nudity, but you never tried anything or even leered, so I figured you were strictly girls-only.”
"...you were testing me?" McCoy asked with sudden suspicion. "First off, Jim, it's called common courtesy to not leer at your best friend or try anything when the friendship still needs to be strengthened. Second of all, what the hell do you mean you were testing me? How long has this been going on for, this treating me as some kind of science experiment?" It wasn't the science experiment part he minded, really, so much as it was the part where he didn't know how long Jim had been at it.
He shrugged. "It's simple enough. I've never had a best friend until you. I assumed that you let me hang around because you wanted to have sex with me, and, instead of not really being into the idea since I'm usually all about women, I was kinda curious. Only, you never did anything, and I started to figure out what friendship meant, which sounds ridiculous when I say it like that." He snorted. "Whatever. That was years ago, when I was a misguided youth." He looked Bones over again. "Not that I wouldn't mind experimenting now. There are so many different things to try that I've never done before. And, for the record, there will be no breaking unless it's mutual and entirely sexual. Also, wine, huh?" He held up his glass. "That's definitely not our usual libation of choice. Different is good. Makes this feel more date-like. So, Arlington’s stopped trying anything with you? He’d better or I’ll have to get tough with him.”
"Wine," McCoy agreed. "Good, strong wine. Stuff that you should sip at and not down." Which was more gentle instruction than order. "And seeing as it is a date, that's a good thing." He let the Arlington tirade falter until he could offer Jim a dubious brow lifted upwards. "He still looks at me like he's thinking dirty thoughts, but then, he looks at you the same now too. I think he's got it in his head he can try and go for the threesome. Incidentally, no tattoo. Ever. The one's enough and that was a drunken med-school mistake and it took six goddamn sessions to get it gone."
“Sip. Got it.” Jim made a show of taking one tiny sip of the wine, nearly choking on it when Bones mentioned Arlington and threesomes. “He can try, but it isn’t gonna happen. Of course, who could blame him for wanting both of us? We’re fucking amazing, and gorgeous, too.” He ran his tongue over his lower lip and stared at Bones. “What drunken med-school mistake? You’ve been holding out on me, Bones.”
McCoy clapped Jim's back lightly when he started choking, as if he had nothing to do with that and went to sipping his own wine. "One night, too much Romulan Ale, the hippocratic oath and damn near my entire upper back, because I thought it'd be poetic. Don't listen to what they tell you about young geniuses, Jim, they're secretly idiots underneath it all," he said, lifting his glass as if a toast to his past self.
When Bones started slapping his back, Jim tried to glare, which wasn't easy when he was coughing. It wasn't like he should be surprised that Arlington might be looking at them both that way. They had had rather vocal fake sex and then quieter real sex in the room next door to him. Besides, Jim stood by his opinion that they were definitely fantasy material, especially together. Fortunately, Bones stopped pounding on his back and explained about the tattoo, which made Jim laugh. "It covered your entire back? You were married by then, weren't you? I bet the Ex loved that," he said in between laughs. "Oh, and hey! I'm a young genius, and I've never done anything like that. Maybe it's just a medical genius thing."
"Just the shoulders and yeah, Joce wasn't exactly pleased. I slept on the couch for a goddamn week after that and my back was already hurting." McCoy went distant for a long moment.
Jim snorted. “That’s a little drastic, I think. She should have been supportive of your drunken genius, even if she didn’t approve. I wouldn’t make you sleep on the couch. I’d just tease you about it for, oh, ever.”
"Bet you would have liked it. I think Jo would have, too." McCoy slowly let his fingers spider-walk down Jim's arm, resting on his palm. "You'd look good with some ink on you, I think."
Jim grinned before picking up his wine glass. Bones lightly touched his other arm, so he moved his foot a little higher on Bones’ calf. “I’d look good in any circumstance,” he said with a wink. “However, I don’t really have any interest in getting a tattoo. Wouldn’t know what to get, and it’d probably look weird when I got older and my skin naturally wrinkled. That wouldn’t be too attractive.”
"Okay, no tattoo," McCoy admitted, leaning forward so that Jim's foot could touch him more and he could slowly cup Jim's forearm, brushing his fingers there and keeping him close. "So does this mean you're guaranteeing a couch-less relationship? That thing was my second home during the last days of the marriage. Hell, half the time, Jo would join me and pretend it was a sleepover." He paused and thought back before he'd gone and gotten distracted with tattoos. "Wait, Jim, a minute ago, were you saying we became as good friends as we did because you thought you could let me in and have your sexual explorations with me?" he asked, not really sure how he felt about that, but not finding it exactly a bad feeling. "We've got plenty of time for us, Jim," McCoy said, trying not to feel the sudden thrill that went through him just to say that. "Hell, if you don't get sick of me, you can have me until time's done with me. Which is a hell of a long time away, if the old-Spock's telling anything close to the truth."
“No, that’s not what I said,” Jim told him. “I said that I assumed that was the only reason you wanted to be around me, which made me consider the possibility. I’ve never really had friends before, you know? I’ve had people who wanted to fight me or fuck me, not who just wanted to hang out for no reason at all. You confused me at first, and, then, I was thinking about sex with you and realized that I was possibly interested, which was also confusing because I hadn’t really ever done anything with men back then. Still haven’t done much, but I know what to do, so I’m sure I’ll be amazing at it.” He smiled smugly and moved his foot against Bones’ leg. The smile faded slightly when Bones mentioned old Spock. “Yeah, well, he said I die relatively young, which isn’t happening in this world. I want to live over a century and end up back at Starfleet terrorizing students and kicking their asses to get them ready for the job.” He shifted slightly and looked at his plate because he hadn’t told anyone his goal for old age, when he couldn’t be captain anymore and didn’t want to work at some boring desk job with a title. Bones might understand, but Jim still felt a little awkward confessing that he wanted to be a teacher back at ‘fleet when he was old.
"Well, anyway, I'm glad that I was an adequate subject for you to obsess about sex over," McCoy said with a teasing smirk lingering on his face as he couldn't help a playful smile Jim's way. It felt unfettered and free and probably came across that way as well, a genuinely relaxed moment in which McCoy wasn't worrying about the rest of the world. And Jim's foot slowly ascending his leg was definitely helping the cause. "Not that you're egotistical about it or anything," he deadpanned with a high arch of his brow. "I think I like the idea of you teaching the kids when you're old. I mean, so long as you don't care about the crotchety old man who keeps hanging around you," he said, because he had the feeling that he wasn't bound to improve in patience with age, which meant he had a long road ahead when it came to dealing with people who annoyed the crap out of him with their inferiority. "You could teach tactics. You should teach tactics. Those kids would be lucky to hear the things you have to teach."
“Nah, I won’t care. Not like I do now, after all,” Jim teased, relieved that Bones hadn’t started laughing or rolling his eyes when he heard Jim’s long-term goal. He moved his foot and managed to get his shoe off without having to use his hands. Damn, he was good. When he moved his foot back to Bones’ leg, he was able to move his toes and the shoe wasn’t getting in the way, which was a definite improvement. “Besides, by that time, I might be just as crotchety. Your influence and all, of course.” He arched a brow as he looked at Bones. “I’m not the Ex, but it isn’t like I’ve ever even tried to do this relationship thing before. Considering how often you get pissed at me, though, maybe I should worry about being sent to sleep on the couch. We can make a pact, maybe, to always share a bed even if we’re angry as hell with each other, cause that’s bound to happen. We’re both too stubborn and passionate for things to be calm and easy.” He moved his foot against the back of Bones’ knee. “However, I’m all for nude sleepovers on the couch if you’re in a frisky mood.”
McCoy exhaled shakily at the foot as it suddenly became a lot more tactile and interesting. He pressed his lips together, trying to subdue his reaction, but it was slightly difficult given the fact that he was already tense from days of waiting for this and not getting it. He made an effort, a genuine goddamn effort, to actually eat his food, fork to mouth, attention on what he’d prepared. "Crotchety Jim Kirk? Hell, I'll believe it when I see it." Which meant that McCoy doubted it'd ever happen. He had the feeling that if they went to bed angry, there'd be something like explosive bedroom sex, which wasn't a bad thing necessarily. "My part of the pact is that we attempt talking, even if it results in us bickering. But hell, Jim, I want to at least be one of those couples who makes attempts at communication instead of fighting and fucking all the time. I want this to have longevity." It terrified him that they were talking about it, but at the same time, excited the hell out of him. "Maybe we can mark nude couch sleepovers for a lazy Sunday," he drawled. "How's that sound?"
Jim made a face when Bones added talking to the newly created pact. "As long as the rule is attempt, even if we can't always succeed right away, that should be okay. I'm not the best when it comes to communicating and shit like that, especially with words. I'm a lot better with action," he said honestly. "But I can try. You never know. It might happen. Hell, it's not like either of us expected Captain Jim Kirk before I was thirty, you know?" Jim kept moving his foot while he ate, making appreciative moans at the taste of the food. Exaggerated and downright dirty moans, but still appreciative. It was fun to be flirting and seducing like this, knowing that it was real and just taking the time to build-up the tension that was already there. He hoped that it culminated in something involving nudity and orgasms, of course, but he was having fun reaching that point and taking his time.
"I expected Captain Kirk by the time you hit twenty-eight," McCoy admitted, which wasn't so much news as it was an announcement of his fervent and constant belief in his best friend.
“Really?” Jim grinned across the small table at Bones. “Damn it, Bones. I didn’t even expect it before I was thirty, even if I knew that I’d be able to handle it. Starfleet is such an old boy’s club, and I’m not old nor do I play those political games unless forced.” He shrugged a shoulder but couldn’t stop smiling. Bones was sincere about his belief, and Jim was sort of overwhelmed at the idea of him having that much faith in him. No one ever had before, but Bones wasn’t just anyone. Jim had known that for years, since they became friends, yet he didn’t really understand how complicated their relationship was before it became even more complex recently.
"Hell, Jim. I thought you could have it sewn up a year before that. You played all the right cards and did everything you were supposed to. You did a good job of the Academy and you kept me afloat. Not a damn easy task."
Jim studied Bones' face as he moved his foot a little higher, shifting so that he could reach Bones' thigh with his toes. "Longevity should terrify me since I'm mostly used to one-night stands. There's a chance, a good one, that I'm going fuck things up or make mistakes, Bones. Maybe we should make something about being patient and having forgiveness when we fuck up to the pact. Not going off to fuck other people, because I do have control over that sort of thing and understand the whole committed relationship thing even if I haven't done it before, but just the rest of it." He smiled slowly as he moved his foot higher, deliberately going slow. "Lazy Sundays should just be clothing optional days all-around."
McCoy kept his eyes on Jim and hissed slightly at those moans. "Jim, you sound like some kind of strumpet, would you shut the hell up before my dick decides to do all my decision-making for me?" It was blunt, but that was all he felt he had to say on the subject. He did scowl at all the talk of fucking up. "Jim, honestly. Could you at least try and have some faith in this before you go off the deep end of thinking it'll fail?" It wasn't like he wanted to sit there and think about all the ways it could go off the rails because he knew, he already did. He needed to have faith in the both of them. "So just give us both a little credit and maybe we can make it work without having arguments every night." But when that foot went higher, his breath shook and shuddered and he closed his eyes tightly. "I really don't like wandering around in the nude, you know," he mumbled, voice strangled.
Jim deliberately moaned louder and laved the prongs of his fork with his tongue, keeping his gaze focused on Bones’ face. He’d never had a dick in his mouth, but he’d been sucked off by plenty of girls, so he knew how to do it. It was sort of fun to watch Bones, who was usually so in control, have such a reaction to a few moans and sucking of utensils. “Maybe I like the decisions that your dick would make,” he suggested. Of course, this wasn’t all about sex and fun, and his teasing mood subsided slightly as he considered the reality and chances of fucking it up. “I don’t think it’ll fail,” he said. “Hell, we’re both too stubborn to let it, aren’t we? Now that we’ve crossed lines and shit, it’s too important to give up easily. But, yeah, nightly arguments wouldn’t be that enjoyable, even with make-up sex.” He leered playfully as he moved his foot even higher, pressing his toes against the bulge between Bones’ legs. “It’s not like we have to wander around naked all the time, Bones. It doesn’t even have to be sexual, since it’s mostly about embracing yourself and being comfortable. You’re gorgeous, so you shouldn’t feel weird about being nude.”
"Starfleet may be an old boys club, Jim, but you've made a habit of turning the impossible into the stuff you do on a daily basis," McCoy admitted as he set his fork and knife down on the table firmly, making sure to take deep breaths and keep himself composed as he pressed his lips together and watched Jim with his fork. That and the foot doing what it was where it was and there were a lot of decisions being made for him by the most illogical centers of his brain. Jim was pretty much asking for it at this point. He glanced to Jim's plate with his chin. "If you intend to finish that, I'd do it now." He slid his chair away from the table, cleaning the corners of his lips with a napkin and standing, moving to behind Jim's chair and leaning in, elbows on Jim's shoulders. "You're gonna need the strength," McCoy confided, heading out to open the door to the balcony and get a breeze in the room, just to hear the ocean nearby as well.
“Oh?” Jim watched Bones closely, feeling the subtle change in the air around them as Bones stood up. Not the awareness, since neither of them had really been able to ignore that lately, but the spark of something that had his cock twitching with just a look. Bones leaned down, his breath warm against Jim’s face as he basically made a challenge. Like Jim couldn’t keep up with him or something. “Need the strength my ass,” he muttered as Bones left the room.
Jim wiped his mouth with a napkin while thinking about what was about to happen. The other time, it had been completely spontaneous. There hadn’t really been any time to think because they’d been playing around making loud sex noises before things had changed. Jim wasn’t nervous about sex, not even kinds he hadn’t had yet, but he was curious why Bones wasn’t even a little worried. The obvious conclusion was that Bones had had sex with a man, or men, before, which meant he was the most experienced when it came to this, if Jim’s suspicions were correct. Well, Jim was a fast learner, so he wasn’t concerned. He got up from the table and walked out onto the balcony to join Bones. “Enjoying the view?” he asked, standing behind Bones. He looked down and licked his lips. Reaching out, he lightly dragged his fingers along the curve of Bones’ ass. “I am.”
McCoy turned away from the curtains breezing past the door and turned just enough so that he could be within Jim's contact-range and still feel the salt-air against his face. He knew that this wasn't Earth, that they'd had to traverse through the inky danger of space to get here, but it was more than worth it to be on firm land and to have this opportunity. He also knew that this was going to have to be something different. It wasn't fake anymore, no fakely real first kisses or dates and he ought to be nervous. Really, all he could think about was that it had been a long time coming. His whole body shivered lightly when Jim touched him in the way he did and he let out a soft intake of breath. "Just trying to set a mood," McCoy admitted, cupping a palm over Jim's hip and easing closer to him. "Well?" he asked, voice hushed. "How'd you like the food?"
“Delicious,” Jim said, looking at Bones’ lips before raising his gaze. “The food was good. Definitely a successful mood setter.” He could feel Bones’ hand on his hip, could practically feel the heat of his touch through the fabric of his pants. “Guess this is our second date, huh?” He leaned over and scraped his teeth against Bones’ bottom lip, slowly drawing it into his mouth. This wasn’t how he usually felt in this situation, like all he wanted was a little pleasure before he went on with his life. It was different, but in a good way. He nibbled on Bones’ lip, sucking gently as he moved his hand to grip the back of Bones’ neck. “I love your lips,” he murmured before he finally kissed Bones.
"Which is good that it's our second because I always told my Mama I didn't put out on the first date," McCoy couldn't help teasing with something like a dangerous grin lurking on his lips while leaning even closer to Jim, indulging in that semi-kiss when Jim leaned in for it and seemingly demanded it. His other hand clasped Jim's hips to get a steady grip on him so that he could focus on nothing but the downward spiral of a dangerously arousing press of lips on lips.
“You lied to your mama then,” Jim said with a snort. “Or you’ve forgotten our first date. I don’t remember you protesting at all. And don’t tell me it was all an act because I know better. It might have started out that way, but that isn’t how it ended.”
"Well, I meant what I said the other night," McCoy murmured, gentler than he might have said anything else. "You know."
When Jim pulled back from the kiss, he studied Bones’ face. What he said the other night? They’d said a lot. It took him a minute of serious thought to realize what Bones might be talking about. His eyes widened slightly, and he forgot to breathe as he stared at Bones. He sucked in a breath when he realized that oxygen was sort of required for living. “I--Bones--you--“ He was stammering, which wasn’t exactly how he had envisioned things happening when he got up from the table.
"Technically we didn't have sex so I can hang onto my honor for at least a couple more minutes," McCoy murmured, his lips securely placed right by Jim's ear as he swayed with him idly back and forth, starting to step him back towards the bedroom. It wasn't in a great rush, but he was very slowly aiming to get them to a bed. Jim then went into something resembling anaphylactic shock and McCoy eased back to study Jim carefully, pressing reassuring kisses to his lips, not wanting him to do anything stupid like choke on air when they were about to get to the very good part of their date. "It's okay, Jim, take it easy," he coaxed. "I love you, I do," he easily and smoothly promised. "It's not the end of the world, just means I'm telling you what I've been feeling for a long time now."
“We both came, and it wasn’t from jerking ourselves off. That qualifies as sex in my book,” Jim said, smiling against Bones’ neck. He nipped at the skin beneath his mouth, licking at it before biting lightly again. They were moving away from the balcony, and he guessed that their destination was the bedroom. He moved his other hand down Bones’ back before sliding it under his shirt so he could touch bare skin. Bones was talking to him like he was having a panic attack or something. All right, maybe it was a minor one. It was just a lot to take in, from Bones wanting this act to become real in a committed relationship way to the realization that Jim wanted that, too, and now Bones was standing there touching him while telling him that he loved him. People said that during sex, when they didn’t mean it at all, and Jim could laugh it off then because he knew it wasn’t real. This was real. This was so real that he didn’t know what to say because it wasn’t like he had experience with this sort of thing.
“Bones,” Jim started before he stopped. “Hearing you say that could never be the end of the world.” He meant that, and he hoped that Bones would understand. He felt a lot of different things for Bones, more than he’d realized until recently, but how did love feel? “How do you know? I mean, sure, we’ve been best friends, but I never thought there was even a chance you were attracted to me until this farce for Arlington. It opened my eyes, in a lot of ways, but how do you know that you feel like that?”
"Real sex involves penetration," McCoy replied, knowing he was being a bit stubborn on the fact, but that was how he stood by it. At least, that was how he saw it in the end, especially when he and Jocelyn had been making their pathetic attempts at a sex life, which only ever amounted to half-assed gropes and mutual masturbation in the same bed when they were too tired to do anything else. His breath shook sharply when Jim's hand began touching skin, but then they stopped and the bedroom was still too far away.
He felt like this was going to be a hard sell for Jim. "I loved Jocelyn, once upon a time. She was my wife and I loved her. I love Joanna and I love you. It's hard to explain, Jim, when you're just feeling it, but I can try." Of course he could try. He would attempt a dozen explanations if it made Jim feel better about McCoy announcing it to him. "It's knowing that you feel safest with another person. It's feeling like that person is home and no where else in the universe could be better. It's having your heart miss a beat when you see them for the first time during a day and going out of your way to be better just for them. It's you and me, Jim."
If Bones’ definition of ‘real sex’ involved penetration, Jim guessed that they wouldn’t be having it tonight. Hell, what he’d already done with Bones was more extensive than anything he’d done with any other man. Being jerked off a couple of times didn’t really make him ready to jump right into being fucked. Or fucking, because he didn’t know if he wanted to be fucked yet. How was he supposed to know? He wasn’t against the idea, in theory or fantasy, but the reality was different. Jim listened to Bones carefully even as he kept stroking the small of his back. What Bones described sounded familiar, but he wasn’t sure enough to say anything like that. He pressed his lips against Bones’ mouth. “Yeah, it is,” he finally said before he moved his hand from Bones’ back down to grip his ass. He was good at the physical stuff, even if Bones was a different shape and sex than his normal partners. Sex was something he could handle, something he could excel at while trying to show Bones how he felt because emotions and words just weren’t his strength at all.
McCoy let out a quiet sound of approval when Jim went for the ass-grab and he took that as a sign to continue them along from where they were stopped and push things forward. He started to slowly walk Jim back into the bedroom, taking his time while laying kisses all over his neck and brushing them up to his chin, stealing several on the lips. "I've done this maybe four times in my life. Twice pre-Jocelyn and twice post-divorce when I was sure that women were Satan's minions only out to steal me of my money and my life," he half-growled, still trapped slightly in bitterness. "I want this to be right, though, Jim, so you just tell me when things are going off the tracks, got it?" Because he couldn't stop that worry.
"This is your ship to control, Captain," McCoy murmured. "What're your orders?"
The fact that Bones was vocal during sex was still so damn arousing. Jim couldn’t even explain why it turned him on so much. The noises and sounds were like the cheek twitch and dimple smile, though. Jim had to earn them, which made it all the more rewarding. Bones mentioned four times, but Jim wasn’t really sure what ‘this’ meant. In his case, a couple of drunken kisses and one time against a wall with a guy’s hand on his cock wasn’t really anything too memorable.
“Four times, huh?” Jim kissed Bones’ jaw. “I can’t give a number unless you really want me to stop and try to remember, but I think I could count them on one hand. Only one had his hands on my dick, though, if that’s important.” He licked the skin he’d been kissing. “I’ll be sure to tell you if things aren’t right.” He laughed softly and moved his hand up Bones’ spine. “A good captain always recognizes when he’s negotiating unfamiliar territory and knows when to rely on the expertise of his crew,” he said. “In this case, I think we should just let your experience guide us and see what happens.”
"I thought you were a genius, Jim," McCoy couldn't help teasing as he pushed the door to the bedroom open with one hand, grinning because he knew that the room was set up with champagne on the night table and dim lighting to set the mood. More favors from Arlington. "Don't tell me you can't count and kiss at the same time." Just to prove his point, McCoy leaned in for another kiss, this time dragging it out longer than any of the others, tugging Jim's lips into his mouth and slowly kissing him until he had to pull in a shaky breath through his nose. "My expertise is saying that you should get us undressed," McCoy said, his eyes darker than before, only looking at Jim. "And that you should get on the bed."
“Counting and kissing aren’t qualifiers for being a genius,” Jim said, pushing his lower lip out in an exaggerated pout as he stumbled backwards into the bedroom. Bones kissed him, a slow, thorough kiss that left Jim panting when they parted. If he’d ever been kissed like that in the past, he might have seen the merits of commitment sooner. He was glad that it was with Bones, though, even if he still wasn’t entirely certain what his feelings were exactly.
Jim glanced around the room, slowly smiling when he noticed champagne and the low lighting. “More mood setting?” he teased before he focused back on Bones. His amusement faded when he saw the expression on Bones’ face. He licked his lips as he shifted his weight from one foot to another. “You’re first,” he decided, reaching over to begin undressing Bones. Since there was no reason to hurry, he took his time, exploring the skin that he uncovered and touching Bones’ chest curiously. He wanted to learn everything about him, he realized. What sounds he made when he was touched in a variety of places and what turned him on and how his expression changed when he became aroused.
"I had you pegged as a genius in all areas, don't disappoint me now." But it was just more teasing, a lilt in his tone, words that were designed to try and get a mild rise out of Jim, to try and spark things along a little more. They were finally in the bedroom, which meant that McCoy had achieved one of his goals for the evening.
Chapter 7 | Chapter 9
Authors: andrealyn and inell
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: Adult/NC17
Summary: When a visiting diplomat asks Bones out on a date, a little white lie starts a chain of events that changes his relationship with Jim
Word Count: 9590
Beta: florahart
A/N: Thank you all so much for the comments! Previous parts found here. We'll be posting our Kirk/McCoy collab fics to kmficsbyus for easy archiving and such. Feel free to watch the comm if you'd like. And thanks again for reading!
Calliope II was a lovely place. Under normal circumstances, Jim would have really enjoyed the opportunity to visit the planet on official business. It wasn’t often that they actually got sent somewhere pleasant, without trade talks or wars or disease necessitating the Enterprise’s visit. This place was a lot like Hawaii, or how Jim figured the island paradise must be from what he’d read and seen in holovids. He hadn’t actually ever been there, but this was close.
Beautiful sky, brilliant blue water, pure white sand, perfect weather, and nice people all mixed together to create a wonderful place. He could honestly tell Arlington that he was impressed and mean it, for once. That didn’t mean that Jim was looking forward to staying here, however. While it was good to get off the ship, since he’d been going a little stir crazy since the supply drop four days ago, he was stuck pretending to be the boyfriend here. And that was pretty difficult to do when Bones was avoiding him, and he had little interest in being around Bones anyway.
After they beamed down with Arlington, he took Bones off somewhere, and Jim was left with some assistant with nice tits and purple skin. His luggage had been taken to his room, and he’d been taken on a tour of the surrounding area, but he'd already exhausted his interest in looking at things, and it wasn't a situation in which he could simply go back to the ship and get some work done; he'd risk offending a Federation favorite. After a long couple of hours of following Moilah around, he decided enough was enough, and told her to forget the itinerary; they were going cliff diving. It probably wasn’t the safest thing to do around here, but his arm had healed, and he had to let out some of the energy before he was stuck playing pretend again.
Jim had just finished his third jump when some uptight guy in a suit showed up with an envelope. The note inside instructed him to go to room 625 of their hotel, which he assumed meant it was time to clean up and get ready for a late lunch. Moilah gave him a towel and a flirty smile that was tempting but didn't involve the dimples that had kept him preoccupied recently, so he said his thanks and goodbyes before he went back to the hotel. His hair was still wet and his uniform was damp when he reached his room and stared at the door, wondering how he was supposed to get inside without a code or key.
McCoy had spent the last few hours staring at a hotel room and wondering if he was supposed to do something to it. Days had let McCoy think about what he had done in the office, what he had said, and the fear that seemed to gnaw at his common sense and make him do idiotic things. If Jim was serious about something, then who was McCoy to deny that he knew how to want something? And they were officially on Calliope II and that meant that Arlington wouldn't be in their lives anymore.
It meant that anything they did could officially be real starting the moment they wanted it to. First, though, Bones had to sit Jim down and apologize heavily for being the biggest asshole in the whole galaxy. As far as the room went, though, what he did want to do was minimal. He got a couple of drinks out and managed to put together something resembling a meal (collard greens, pot roast, deep-friend zucchini and a pie) and had changed into a t-shirt and decent slacks. Every time he thought about trying harder, he didn't want to seem like he was trying too hard.
Besides, the view from the balcony pretty much worked in his favor and did all the work for him.
The computer indicated that there was activity outside the room and he rattled off a quick set of instructions to unlock the door. He was still in the small kitchen of the room when he heard the door slide open. "Come on in," he called, thinking that it'd just be one of the crew, seeing as Jim had that itinerary to go through and McCoy had no idea when he'd end up getting that note, though he hoped it found Jim sooner rather than later.
The door opened on its own. Jim stepped inside and frowned when he heard Bones' voice. He couldn't even really take a moment to enjoy the view or appreciate the size of the room, which could have fit his dorm room at least three times, and he hadn't even been into the bedroom yet. He didn't see Bones yet, so he didn't know if Arlington was still with him or not. He focused and forced the fake 'I'm a wonderful boyfriend and we're an amazing couple' smile onto his face before he walked further into the room and looked around the corner towards a kitchen area. Damn, this wasn't like any hotel room he'd ever stayed in before.
"Hi Bones. Something sure smells good," Jim said, not looking at Bones even as he put on the act. "I could have gotten lunch somewhere, though, so you really didn't have to cook and invite me here. You work too hard, you know?" He glanced around to see if he noticed Arlington lurking anywhere.
Days of avoidance and this was how they were going to start talking again. McCoy might have laughed if he didn't find it so absolutely pathetic and sad in its own way. He turned from where he was standing by the sink and trying to clean things up. Sure, it wasn't a normal hotel room, but he hadn't exactly wanted one, and a long conversation with Arlington had procured him exactly what he needed in terms of both food and supplies. "Jim," he sighed out the name and gestured to the couch in the sitting area. "Come on, sit down. We need to talk."
Actually, they needed to do a lot more than talk, but apologies came first on the list no matter what.
When Bones turned around and sighed, Jim knew that they were alone. His forced smile faded, and he glanced at the sofa before looking out the glass doors of the balcony. "I don't really think that there's anything to say, Bones. What, did you need me to do something else?" he asked, unable to keep some of his anger out of his tone. "If so, just send it in an official communication so I don't forget and deviate from the expected plan. Unfortunately, not all of us are as good at acting as you."
He deserved that. He deserved any comments that Jim had to offer, but he didn't have to like them. McCoy shut off the stove and wandered over to sit on the couch, staring at Jim the whole while and thinking to himself that he really could spend as much time as he had in the world just watching over him and trying to protect him. "You little brat," he remarked in wonder, shaking his head. "Sit the fuck down and stop the petulant act."
Jim turned his head and glared at Bones. It was really taking all of the control that he'd gained since becoming captain to resist the urge to punch him in his handsome damn face. "Fuck you," he said sharply. "You don't have the right to give me orders and expect me to do whatever you say. We've just tried that, and it failed miserably, or have you forgotten?"
"If you would sit down, we could talk about this," McCoy pointed out, his voice strained as he kept his eyes on Jim. "Because this is me trying to apologize. You know I'm crap at it to begin with, but I'm genuine. I really am sorry that I put you through this, Jim. Hell, you know I never want anything bad to ever happen to you. Why would I change my tune now? I'm sorry," he said, putting it bluntly. "I really am. But we still need to talk and you have got to listen to me. Can you do that?"
"Why should I listen, Bones?" Jim asked. "I tried talking to you the other day, and you shut me out. Hell, you not only did then, but you carried it through in other areas of our lives, too. So, you're sorry. I get that. I really do, and I believe that you mean it. But why should I sit down and listen when you wouldn't even try talking to me since all this mess got complicated?"
"Because I want to talk to you about that!" McCoy snapped. His patience was already short and it didn't matter what kind of slow night he had planned for the both of them. If this was how they were going to deal with things, then McCoy was going to play the same cards. "I was a panicked idiot the other day. I thought you died, so excuse me for not being in the most emotionally secure place, Jim," he drawled, pissy. "Sit down and let me tell you something. Then you can decide if you want to run away."
"Oh, that's right. Put it all on me. That's what you do best, isn't it? This was your fucked up plan, Bones. I tried to warn you that we needed to think it through more, but you just wouldn't listen. And, yeah, I agreed to do it, which was so fucking stupid considering that I knew it would be tough to keep the lines in place," Jim said, mostly talking to himself now because he was frustrated by this whole thing. "And don't pull that shit. The whole 'run away' taunting? You're the one who ran, Bones. Not me. Not this time." He sneered slightly as he stomped over and sat down on the sofa, glaring at Bones. "Fine. I'm sitting. Not that you even bothered asking or saying please, asshole."
McCoy really didn't know how to feel about them fighting as foreplay. Because it made a lot of sense and also said a lot about their relationship in the past. "Jim, we met because I tend to run, it's not like this is a new aspect of our friendship," he pointed out sharply, glad that he had at least gotten Jim to sit down. The next step was getting him to shut up, but McCoy was a doctor, damn it, not a magician. "Okay, I'm saying this once and only once. First of all, I'm sorry," he got out, because that couldn't be said enough. This was the far more important part. "Jim," he said, bracing his words with a deep breath. "I wasn't faking it for a single minute."
"But you don't run from me!" Jim punched his fist against the cushion he was sitting on, tapping his foot on the floor as he tried to remain seated so he could listen to whatever the hell Bones felt was so important. If he heard one more apology, though, he was going to punch him, damn it. He frowned when Bones kept talking, staring at him as he tried to process what he was saying. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," McCoy continued, feeling more than vaguely uncomfortable with the whole situation, "that if the supply mission hadn't gone the way that it had, if things had been smoother, that this would have been me asking you to make it a permanent thing instead of me sitting here trying to apologize my ass off for rushing us into a stupid and stubborn plan, for ignoring you, and for being a general jackass." He gestured idly, as if one mere flick of his hand could somehow make up for everything he had done. "I mean that every damn kiss and minute with you, I wasn't being an actor, just a goddamn doctor."
“Oh.” Jim blinked and realized that he didn’t know what to say. He ran his hand over his face then through his hair. “It really was a pretty stupid plan,” he muttered, “but it was kinda fun, before everything went to shit.” He worried his bottom lip and snuck a glance at Bones, still trying to figure out how to respond to this now that his anger was fading into confusion and possibly a little hope. “I’m not an actor, either, Bones. “ He tilted his head slightly as he considered it and smiled slightly. “Permanent though? I know we’ve been friends for years, but we’ve only had one date, so maybe it’s too soon to talk about marriage?”
McCoy shook his head. "Unbelievable," he muttered under his breath and got up from the couch to gesture to the table. "I made you dinner. I figured it'd be some kind of gesture. I don't know exactly what I'm trying to accomplish, but hell if I know. Just eat the damn food and think about it while I try not to die of humiliation while you leave me hanging here." At least Jim wasn't taking a swing at him and maybe, just maybe, they had already made their decisions. Maybe.
This was confusing. Bones was acting like Jim was toying with him or something, and he didn't understand why. He'd just told him that he hadn't been acting, either. Hell, he'd even joked about marriage to see if Bones would give him some idea what he meant when he talked about permanent. Instead, he got pissy Bones muttering about food and humiliation. "You know, contrary to popular belief, I think women might be easier to understand than men," he said, shaking his head as he leaned back. "Maybe they talk too much and share too much about their feelings and shit, but at least I don't feel completely clueless and lost about this sort of thing."
Jim frowned at Bones and rubbed the back of his neck. "Why are you dying of humiliation, Bones? And what am I supposed to think about while we're eating? Give me some direction here because this is a lot to take in all at once."
McCoy got to his feet and offered both hands for Jim to take, leaning against the couch above him, thighs pressed hard to the cushions and the fabric. "I'm dying of humiliation because I feel like an idiot having to ask you to be mine without pretending on a permanent basis, makes me feel like I'm sixteen. Add in the fact I don't know if you'd even want me after the stunts I pulled and...hell, Jim, it's not exactly something I can relax about." He let a terse smile show, but he didn't move and still offered his hands to Jim's. "Think about us being an us. For good, Jim. On the ship, in front of people, no more faking."
"We're already an us, Bones." Jim took Bones' hands and stood up. "From what I can tell, neither of us has been faking anything during the last week. And, yeah, I'm a little terrified by the idea because my longest relationship has actually been this thing between us, and I'm probably going to fuck something up, and you're going to get angry with me, and we'll end up fighting a lot, but that means there can now be make-up sex, right? Also, I tried writing the love notes, and you know how dirty those turned out. I can do the hand holding, though, and definitely the kissing."
McCoy wrapped his arm around Jim's waist as he tugged him closer when they were both on their feet, a small laugh caught in his throat and bubbling forward as he grinned at Jim, running his fingers idly through his hair, leaning in to indulge in one of those kisses. It was slow and precarious, nipping lightly at Jim's lower lip, brushing their bodies together as he lifted his head and let his lips brush Jim's upper lip. He eased away, only because of one important thing. "We're not ignoring my damned dinner. I spent a long time on that apology food," he insisted stubbornly. With a light smack to Jim's hip, he pointed in the direction of the kitchen. "Go. Sit."
"See, this is better than fighting," Jim murmured as Bones' lips pressed against his own. Instead of trying to figure out how they'd ended up here, he was just going to go with it. It felt right, being with Bones in a dating and boyfriendy way, and that's what really mattered. Besides, the kissing was amazing. He rolled his eyes when Bones stopped the teasing kiss to mention food. "If you're going to be my boyfriend for real, you need to learn how to say please sometimes. Also, I'm pretty confident I can do this faithful thing, but, just to clarify, that doesn't mean I can't have the occasional fantasy, right? Especially if you're there, too, and I share the details at some point?" He leaned up and kissed Bones thoroughly before he pulled back and started to walk to the table. "Will commitment sex be as good as honeymoon sex? Or do you have to have a ring to try to surpass those memories of the Ex?" He looked at Bones and smiled smugly. "You know that I can't resist a challenge, after all."
"I know better than to dare asking with you. I learned a long time ago that I tell you what to do and it gets done," McCoy noted ruefully, arching his brow as he tried to keep the distance between them as scant as possible, enjoying the way he could feel Jim breathing and the way he didn't have to hide the fact that he was aroused by being this close to Jim. "But I'll try the P-word once in a while. And to clarify, you can have as many dirty fantasies about whoever you want to dream about so long as they don't turn real because of anything, alien antics included," he noted sternly.
"You can ask. I've grown up a lot since becoming captain," Jim said. "You're just lucky that I think you're hot when you're being all demanding and bossy." He studied Bones' face and nodded. "All right. Fantasies are approved but no touching. I knew that part, by the way, even if I've never done this before. But you can't hold me anymore responsibility for some kind of forced alien bullshit than I could you. We don't know what we might come across out there. I won't willingly have sex with anyone else, though." Oddly enough, he thought it was a promise that he'd be able to keep, even if he hadn’t really thought about it before. He cared about Bones and didn't want anyone else, which was a little scary but something he was getting used to.
"Being demanding and bossy makes sure I get you to eat your greens and do all the things you don't otherwise do," McCoy pointed out in turn, a wicked and bemused smile sneaking up on his face. "And no, I won't hold you responsible for something like that. I'm not intolerant towards the universe's habit of fucking with us." While Jim took his time walking to the table, McCoy took the opportunity to check out his ass, head tilted to the side as he got distracted. "You can borrow my class ring," he mumbled, words vague and half-there. "We'll see how it goes from there."
When Bones went silent, Jim glanced over his shoulder and caught him staring at his ass. He paused on his way to the table and wiggled it, smiling mischievously before he continued walking. "Oh, honey. Your class ring?" he said, trying to achieve an awestruck and enthusiastic tone. "You're the best boyfriend ever!" He snickered. "And can I just say, once again, how weird it is to use that term to describe either of us?" He smiled as he sat down at the table. "Are you planning to eat or just stare at my ass all day?"
Jim had to start wiggling his damn ass and Bones lost track of all his thoughts. "Now that we're done the pretending, we can also be done with the pet names," he said (asked, hoped), because as entertaining as it was to see the reactive looks on their staff, a little part of him couldn't stop cringing with every 'baby' or 'honey'. Maybe it was just too early. Maybe it was just not the right words. "I'll eat, I'll eat, but you can't blame me for staring at a specimen that beautiful."
“You don’t like it when I call you honey, I know,” Jim said, giving Bones a curious look. “Does that mean you’re going to stop calling me lover and baby? I really find it difficult to keep a straight face when you use the first one, in all honesty.” He smiled suddenly. “But I sort of liked it when you called me darling, only because you sound all drawly and shit, which is sexy as hell.”
"Darling is what I called Joanna and the horses. I'm not sure which of them you'd rather feel closer to, but whichever it is, we'll make sure it fits," McCoy promised as he sat down at the table, uncovering dishes and finishing with the candied sweet potatoes, which was a personal favorite of his from a long way back, even if the caramel topping was going against all his lectures at Jim. "But, darling, whatever you like." He spooned food onto a plate for Jim, gesturing to the fridge. "There's some wine there, bring it if you're done flaunting your ass."
"Oh." Jim had trouble thinking about Bones calling his daughter or a horse darlin' in that sexy drawl that made Jim feel special every time he heard it, mostly because it had sounded more natural compared to the other endearments. He frowned in thought. "Well, I seem to recall there being a time when you compared me to a stallion, but I don't think either of those options is really appropriate if we're planning on trying this relationship thing," he said, looking Bones over as he prepared plates for them. “I’m not blaming you. My ass is amazing.” He nodded and kept a serious expression on his face for longer than he expected to manage it. Of course, it was true, even if it probably made him sound like a cocky asshole to talk about it. “You can admire it, or any other part of me that you want, after we eat..” Jim got up and retrieved the bottle of wine.
"Honest to god, will everyone let the stallion comparison go already, it was three years ago and I was already stressed from inheriting Medical," McCoy growled, not really minding so much as he was putting on protest for show. It wasn't as if it hadn't been a strange slip, but people had said far worse in their time on the ship. They had the whole night to go over things like this.
“Oh, please, Spock and I are the only ones who ever mention it.” Jim rolled his eyes as he sat back down and poured them each a glass of wine. “Besides, I like that you stood up for me, even if it was after I was sent to that frozen wasteland and nearly killed.” He arched a brow and smiled slightly. “Anyway, you didn’t want to break me or make me change, so it’s not something I’m likely to forget,” he said simply. “Did you make any plans with Arlington for this evening? I scrapped my itinerary earlier to go cliff diving, so I’m free for the rest of the day. "
McCoy went slightly colder at the mention of the incidents involving Delta Vega, which still haunted his nightmares a great deal of the time and wasn't something he particularly wanted to think about. "I think I might want to break you in a little," he mused, mostly to himself, but definitely distinctly aloud. "At least, in certain areas involving beds and sheets." Or maybe it was the other way around. "And Arlington and I had a talk. I basically begged him to give me this suite and a couple other favors thrown in so I could try and throw myself at your feet. Metaphorically," he added. "So I'm all yours, Jim."
"I'm not sure that I like hearing that you begged some good-looking older man who's the entire reason we started this charade that turned out not to be one really. Does he still want to get into your pants? If so, I can arrange for you to get my name tattooed on your ass or something." He smiled as he nudged his foot against Bones' leg. "All mine? I like the sound of that. I'm yours, too. For today or until whenever. Also, be warned, there’s so going to be lots of sex now that I’ve got you."
"Lots of sex, huh? You should've gotten to me five years ago, Jim, you could have maybe gotten a bit more flexibility than now. At least then I attempted to work out more than once a week."
“Five years ago, I wouldn’t have been ready to even consider the idea of a committed relationship, much less be a little excited about it. There’s also the whole bitter divorce not at all interested in sex thing and, oh, the fact that I didn’t even know you were open to the idea of having sex with men until this week,” Jim pointed out. “I distinctly remember testing you, at first, with random displays of nudity, but you never tried anything or even leered, so I figured you were strictly girls-only.”
"...you were testing me?" McCoy asked with sudden suspicion. "First off, Jim, it's called common courtesy to not leer at your best friend or try anything when the friendship still needs to be strengthened. Second of all, what the hell do you mean you were testing me? How long has this been going on for, this treating me as some kind of science experiment?" It wasn't the science experiment part he minded, really, so much as it was the part where he didn't know how long Jim had been at it.
He shrugged. "It's simple enough. I've never had a best friend until you. I assumed that you let me hang around because you wanted to have sex with me, and, instead of not really being into the idea since I'm usually all about women, I was kinda curious. Only, you never did anything, and I started to figure out what friendship meant, which sounds ridiculous when I say it like that." He snorted. "Whatever. That was years ago, when I was a misguided youth." He looked Bones over again. "Not that I wouldn't mind experimenting now. There are so many different things to try that I've never done before. And, for the record, there will be no breaking unless it's mutual and entirely sexual. Also, wine, huh?" He held up his glass. "That's definitely not our usual libation of choice. Different is good. Makes this feel more date-like. So, Arlington’s stopped trying anything with you? He’d better or I’ll have to get tough with him.”
"Wine," McCoy agreed. "Good, strong wine. Stuff that you should sip at and not down." Which was more gentle instruction than order. "And seeing as it is a date, that's a good thing." He let the Arlington tirade falter until he could offer Jim a dubious brow lifted upwards. "He still looks at me like he's thinking dirty thoughts, but then, he looks at you the same now too. I think he's got it in his head he can try and go for the threesome. Incidentally, no tattoo. Ever. The one's enough and that was a drunken med-school mistake and it took six goddamn sessions to get it gone."
“Sip. Got it.” Jim made a show of taking one tiny sip of the wine, nearly choking on it when Bones mentioned Arlington and threesomes. “He can try, but it isn’t gonna happen. Of course, who could blame him for wanting both of us? We’re fucking amazing, and gorgeous, too.” He ran his tongue over his lower lip and stared at Bones. “What drunken med-school mistake? You’ve been holding out on me, Bones.”
McCoy clapped Jim's back lightly when he started choking, as if he had nothing to do with that and went to sipping his own wine. "One night, too much Romulan Ale, the hippocratic oath and damn near my entire upper back, because I thought it'd be poetic. Don't listen to what they tell you about young geniuses, Jim, they're secretly idiots underneath it all," he said, lifting his glass as if a toast to his past self.
When Bones started slapping his back, Jim tried to glare, which wasn't easy when he was coughing. It wasn't like he should be surprised that Arlington might be looking at them both that way. They had had rather vocal fake sex and then quieter real sex in the room next door to him. Besides, Jim stood by his opinion that they were definitely fantasy material, especially together. Fortunately, Bones stopped pounding on his back and explained about the tattoo, which made Jim laugh. "It covered your entire back? You were married by then, weren't you? I bet the Ex loved that," he said in between laughs. "Oh, and hey! I'm a young genius, and I've never done anything like that. Maybe it's just a medical genius thing."
"Just the shoulders and yeah, Joce wasn't exactly pleased. I slept on the couch for a goddamn week after that and my back was already hurting." McCoy went distant for a long moment.
Jim snorted. “That’s a little drastic, I think. She should have been supportive of your drunken genius, even if she didn’t approve. I wouldn’t make you sleep on the couch. I’d just tease you about it for, oh, ever.”
"Bet you would have liked it. I think Jo would have, too." McCoy slowly let his fingers spider-walk down Jim's arm, resting on his palm. "You'd look good with some ink on you, I think."
Jim grinned before picking up his wine glass. Bones lightly touched his other arm, so he moved his foot a little higher on Bones’ calf. “I’d look good in any circumstance,” he said with a wink. “However, I don’t really have any interest in getting a tattoo. Wouldn’t know what to get, and it’d probably look weird when I got older and my skin naturally wrinkled. That wouldn’t be too attractive.”
"Okay, no tattoo," McCoy admitted, leaning forward so that Jim's foot could touch him more and he could slowly cup Jim's forearm, brushing his fingers there and keeping him close. "So does this mean you're guaranteeing a couch-less relationship? That thing was my second home during the last days of the marriage. Hell, half the time, Jo would join me and pretend it was a sleepover." He paused and thought back before he'd gone and gotten distracted with tattoos. "Wait, Jim, a minute ago, were you saying we became as good friends as we did because you thought you could let me in and have your sexual explorations with me?" he asked, not really sure how he felt about that, but not finding it exactly a bad feeling. "We've got plenty of time for us, Jim," McCoy said, trying not to feel the sudden thrill that went through him just to say that. "Hell, if you don't get sick of me, you can have me until time's done with me. Which is a hell of a long time away, if the old-Spock's telling anything close to the truth."
“No, that’s not what I said,” Jim told him. “I said that I assumed that was the only reason you wanted to be around me, which made me consider the possibility. I’ve never really had friends before, you know? I’ve had people who wanted to fight me or fuck me, not who just wanted to hang out for no reason at all. You confused me at first, and, then, I was thinking about sex with you and realized that I was possibly interested, which was also confusing because I hadn’t really ever done anything with men back then. Still haven’t done much, but I know what to do, so I’m sure I’ll be amazing at it.” He smiled smugly and moved his foot against Bones’ leg. The smile faded slightly when Bones mentioned old Spock. “Yeah, well, he said I die relatively young, which isn’t happening in this world. I want to live over a century and end up back at Starfleet terrorizing students and kicking their asses to get them ready for the job.” He shifted slightly and looked at his plate because he hadn’t told anyone his goal for old age, when he couldn’t be captain anymore and didn’t want to work at some boring desk job with a title. Bones might understand, but Jim still felt a little awkward confessing that he wanted to be a teacher back at ‘fleet when he was old.
"Well, anyway, I'm glad that I was an adequate subject for you to obsess about sex over," McCoy said with a teasing smirk lingering on his face as he couldn't help a playful smile Jim's way. It felt unfettered and free and probably came across that way as well, a genuinely relaxed moment in which McCoy wasn't worrying about the rest of the world. And Jim's foot slowly ascending his leg was definitely helping the cause. "Not that you're egotistical about it or anything," he deadpanned with a high arch of his brow. "I think I like the idea of you teaching the kids when you're old. I mean, so long as you don't care about the crotchety old man who keeps hanging around you," he said, because he had the feeling that he wasn't bound to improve in patience with age, which meant he had a long road ahead when it came to dealing with people who annoyed the crap out of him with their inferiority. "You could teach tactics. You should teach tactics. Those kids would be lucky to hear the things you have to teach."
“Nah, I won’t care. Not like I do now, after all,” Jim teased, relieved that Bones hadn’t started laughing or rolling his eyes when he heard Jim’s long-term goal. He moved his foot and managed to get his shoe off without having to use his hands. Damn, he was good. When he moved his foot back to Bones’ leg, he was able to move his toes and the shoe wasn’t getting in the way, which was a definite improvement. “Besides, by that time, I might be just as crotchety. Your influence and all, of course.” He arched a brow as he looked at Bones. “I’m not the Ex, but it isn’t like I’ve ever even tried to do this relationship thing before. Considering how often you get pissed at me, though, maybe I should worry about being sent to sleep on the couch. We can make a pact, maybe, to always share a bed even if we’re angry as hell with each other, cause that’s bound to happen. We’re both too stubborn and passionate for things to be calm and easy.” He moved his foot against the back of Bones’ knee. “However, I’m all for nude sleepovers on the couch if you’re in a frisky mood.”
McCoy exhaled shakily at the foot as it suddenly became a lot more tactile and interesting. He pressed his lips together, trying to subdue his reaction, but it was slightly difficult given the fact that he was already tense from days of waiting for this and not getting it. He made an effort, a genuine goddamn effort, to actually eat his food, fork to mouth, attention on what he’d prepared. "Crotchety Jim Kirk? Hell, I'll believe it when I see it." Which meant that McCoy doubted it'd ever happen. He had the feeling that if they went to bed angry, there'd be something like explosive bedroom sex, which wasn't a bad thing necessarily. "My part of the pact is that we attempt talking, even if it results in us bickering. But hell, Jim, I want to at least be one of those couples who makes attempts at communication instead of fighting and fucking all the time. I want this to have longevity." It terrified him that they were talking about it, but at the same time, excited the hell out of him. "Maybe we can mark nude couch sleepovers for a lazy Sunday," he drawled. "How's that sound?"
Jim made a face when Bones added talking to the newly created pact. "As long as the rule is attempt, even if we can't always succeed right away, that should be okay. I'm not the best when it comes to communicating and shit like that, especially with words. I'm a lot better with action," he said honestly. "But I can try. You never know. It might happen. Hell, it's not like either of us expected Captain Jim Kirk before I was thirty, you know?" Jim kept moving his foot while he ate, making appreciative moans at the taste of the food. Exaggerated and downright dirty moans, but still appreciative. It was fun to be flirting and seducing like this, knowing that it was real and just taking the time to build-up the tension that was already there. He hoped that it culminated in something involving nudity and orgasms, of course, but he was having fun reaching that point and taking his time.
"I expected Captain Kirk by the time you hit twenty-eight," McCoy admitted, which wasn't so much news as it was an announcement of his fervent and constant belief in his best friend.
“Really?” Jim grinned across the small table at Bones. “Damn it, Bones. I didn’t even expect it before I was thirty, even if I knew that I’d be able to handle it. Starfleet is such an old boy’s club, and I’m not old nor do I play those political games unless forced.” He shrugged a shoulder but couldn’t stop smiling. Bones was sincere about his belief, and Jim was sort of overwhelmed at the idea of him having that much faith in him. No one ever had before, but Bones wasn’t just anyone. Jim had known that for years, since they became friends, yet he didn’t really understand how complicated their relationship was before it became even more complex recently.
"Hell, Jim. I thought you could have it sewn up a year before that. You played all the right cards and did everything you were supposed to. You did a good job of the Academy and you kept me afloat. Not a damn easy task."
Jim studied Bones' face as he moved his foot a little higher, shifting so that he could reach Bones' thigh with his toes. "Longevity should terrify me since I'm mostly used to one-night stands. There's a chance, a good one, that I'm going fuck things up or make mistakes, Bones. Maybe we should make something about being patient and having forgiveness when we fuck up to the pact. Not going off to fuck other people, because I do have control over that sort of thing and understand the whole committed relationship thing even if I haven't done it before, but just the rest of it." He smiled slowly as he moved his foot higher, deliberately going slow. "Lazy Sundays should just be clothing optional days all-around."
McCoy kept his eyes on Jim and hissed slightly at those moans. "Jim, you sound like some kind of strumpet, would you shut the hell up before my dick decides to do all my decision-making for me?" It was blunt, but that was all he felt he had to say on the subject. He did scowl at all the talk of fucking up. "Jim, honestly. Could you at least try and have some faith in this before you go off the deep end of thinking it'll fail?" It wasn't like he wanted to sit there and think about all the ways it could go off the rails because he knew, he already did. He needed to have faith in the both of them. "So just give us both a little credit and maybe we can make it work without having arguments every night." But when that foot went higher, his breath shook and shuddered and he closed his eyes tightly. "I really don't like wandering around in the nude, you know," he mumbled, voice strangled.
Jim deliberately moaned louder and laved the prongs of his fork with his tongue, keeping his gaze focused on Bones’ face. He’d never had a dick in his mouth, but he’d been sucked off by plenty of girls, so he knew how to do it. It was sort of fun to watch Bones, who was usually so in control, have such a reaction to a few moans and sucking of utensils. “Maybe I like the decisions that your dick would make,” he suggested. Of course, this wasn’t all about sex and fun, and his teasing mood subsided slightly as he considered the reality and chances of fucking it up. “I don’t think it’ll fail,” he said. “Hell, we’re both too stubborn to let it, aren’t we? Now that we’ve crossed lines and shit, it’s too important to give up easily. But, yeah, nightly arguments wouldn’t be that enjoyable, even with make-up sex.” He leered playfully as he moved his foot even higher, pressing his toes against the bulge between Bones’ legs. “It’s not like we have to wander around naked all the time, Bones. It doesn’t even have to be sexual, since it’s mostly about embracing yourself and being comfortable. You’re gorgeous, so you shouldn’t feel weird about being nude.”
"Starfleet may be an old boys club, Jim, but you've made a habit of turning the impossible into the stuff you do on a daily basis," McCoy admitted as he set his fork and knife down on the table firmly, making sure to take deep breaths and keep himself composed as he pressed his lips together and watched Jim with his fork. That and the foot doing what it was where it was and there were a lot of decisions being made for him by the most illogical centers of his brain. Jim was pretty much asking for it at this point. He glanced to Jim's plate with his chin. "If you intend to finish that, I'd do it now." He slid his chair away from the table, cleaning the corners of his lips with a napkin and standing, moving to behind Jim's chair and leaning in, elbows on Jim's shoulders. "You're gonna need the strength," McCoy confided, heading out to open the door to the balcony and get a breeze in the room, just to hear the ocean nearby as well.
“Oh?” Jim watched Bones closely, feeling the subtle change in the air around them as Bones stood up. Not the awareness, since neither of them had really been able to ignore that lately, but the spark of something that had his cock twitching with just a look. Bones leaned down, his breath warm against Jim’s face as he basically made a challenge. Like Jim couldn’t keep up with him or something. “Need the strength my ass,” he muttered as Bones left the room.
Jim wiped his mouth with a napkin while thinking about what was about to happen. The other time, it had been completely spontaneous. There hadn’t really been any time to think because they’d been playing around making loud sex noises before things had changed. Jim wasn’t nervous about sex, not even kinds he hadn’t had yet, but he was curious why Bones wasn’t even a little worried. The obvious conclusion was that Bones had had sex with a man, or men, before, which meant he was the most experienced when it came to this, if Jim’s suspicions were correct. Well, Jim was a fast learner, so he wasn’t concerned. He got up from the table and walked out onto the balcony to join Bones. “Enjoying the view?” he asked, standing behind Bones. He looked down and licked his lips. Reaching out, he lightly dragged his fingers along the curve of Bones’ ass. “I am.”
McCoy turned away from the curtains breezing past the door and turned just enough so that he could be within Jim's contact-range and still feel the salt-air against his face. He knew that this wasn't Earth, that they'd had to traverse through the inky danger of space to get here, but it was more than worth it to be on firm land and to have this opportunity. He also knew that this was going to have to be something different. It wasn't fake anymore, no fakely real first kisses or dates and he ought to be nervous. Really, all he could think about was that it had been a long time coming. His whole body shivered lightly when Jim touched him in the way he did and he let out a soft intake of breath. "Just trying to set a mood," McCoy admitted, cupping a palm over Jim's hip and easing closer to him. "Well?" he asked, voice hushed. "How'd you like the food?"
“Delicious,” Jim said, looking at Bones’ lips before raising his gaze. “The food was good. Definitely a successful mood setter.” He could feel Bones’ hand on his hip, could practically feel the heat of his touch through the fabric of his pants. “Guess this is our second date, huh?” He leaned over and scraped his teeth against Bones’ bottom lip, slowly drawing it into his mouth. This wasn’t how he usually felt in this situation, like all he wanted was a little pleasure before he went on with his life. It was different, but in a good way. He nibbled on Bones’ lip, sucking gently as he moved his hand to grip the back of Bones’ neck. “I love your lips,” he murmured before he finally kissed Bones.
"Which is good that it's our second because I always told my Mama I didn't put out on the first date," McCoy couldn't help teasing with something like a dangerous grin lurking on his lips while leaning even closer to Jim, indulging in that semi-kiss when Jim leaned in for it and seemingly demanded it. His other hand clasped Jim's hips to get a steady grip on him so that he could focus on nothing but the downward spiral of a dangerously arousing press of lips on lips.
“You lied to your mama then,” Jim said with a snort. “Or you’ve forgotten our first date. I don’t remember you protesting at all. And don’t tell me it was all an act because I know better. It might have started out that way, but that isn’t how it ended.”
"Well, I meant what I said the other night," McCoy murmured, gentler than he might have said anything else. "You know."
When Jim pulled back from the kiss, he studied Bones’ face. What he said the other night? They’d said a lot. It took him a minute of serious thought to realize what Bones might be talking about. His eyes widened slightly, and he forgot to breathe as he stared at Bones. He sucked in a breath when he realized that oxygen was sort of required for living. “I--Bones--you--“ He was stammering, which wasn’t exactly how he had envisioned things happening when he got up from the table.
"Technically we didn't have sex so I can hang onto my honor for at least a couple more minutes," McCoy murmured, his lips securely placed right by Jim's ear as he swayed with him idly back and forth, starting to step him back towards the bedroom. It wasn't in a great rush, but he was very slowly aiming to get them to a bed. Jim then went into something resembling anaphylactic shock and McCoy eased back to study Jim carefully, pressing reassuring kisses to his lips, not wanting him to do anything stupid like choke on air when they were about to get to the very good part of their date. "It's okay, Jim, take it easy," he coaxed. "I love you, I do," he easily and smoothly promised. "It's not the end of the world, just means I'm telling you what I've been feeling for a long time now."
“We both came, and it wasn’t from jerking ourselves off. That qualifies as sex in my book,” Jim said, smiling against Bones’ neck. He nipped at the skin beneath his mouth, licking at it before biting lightly again. They were moving away from the balcony, and he guessed that their destination was the bedroom. He moved his other hand down Bones’ back before sliding it under his shirt so he could touch bare skin. Bones was talking to him like he was having a panic attack or something. All right, maybe it was a minor one. It was just a lot to take in, from Bones wanting this act to become real in a committed relationship way to the realization that Jim wanted that, too, and now Bones was standing there touching him while telling him that he loved him. People said that during sex, when they didn’t mean it at all, and Jim could laugh it off then because he knew it wasn’t real. This was real. This was so real that he didn’t know what to say because it wasn’t like he had experience with this sort of thing.
“Bones,” Jim started before he stopped. “Hearing you say that could never be the end of the world.” He meant that, and he hoped that Bones would understand. He felt a lot of different things for Bones, more than he’d realized until recently, but how did love feel? “How do you know? I mean, sure, we’ve been best friends, but I never thought there was even a chance you were attracted to me until this farce for Arlington. It opened my eyes, in a lot of ways, but how do you know that you feel like that?”
"Real sex involves penetration," McCoy replied, knowing he was being a bit stubborn on the fact, but that was how he stood by it. At least, that was how he saw it in the end, especially when he and Jocelyn had been making their pathetic attempts at a sex life, which only ever amounted to half-assed gropes and mutual masturbation in the same bed when they were too tired to do anything else. His breath shook sharply when Jim's hand began touching skin, but then they stopped and the bedroom was still too far away.
He felt like this was going to be a hard sell for Jim. "I loved Jocelyn, once upon a time. She was my wife and I loved her. I love Joanna and I love you. It's hard to explain, Jim, when you're just feeling it, but I can try." Of course he could try. He would attempt a dozen explanations if it made Jim feel better about McCoy announcing it to him. "It's knowing that you feel safest with another person. It's feeling like that person is home and no where else in the universe could be better. It's having your heart miss a beat when you see them for the first time during a day and going out of your way to be better just for them. It's you and me, Jim."
If Bones’ definition of ‘real sex’ involved penetration, Jim guessed that they wouldn’t be having it tonight. Hell, what he’d already done with Bones was more extensive than anything he’d done with any other man. Being jerked off a couple of times didn’t really make him ready to jump right into being fucked. Or fucking, because he didn’t know if he wanted to be fucked yet. How was he supposed to know? He wasn’t against the idea, in theory or fantasy, but the reality was different. Jim listened to Bones carefully even as he kept stroking the small of his back. What Bones described sounded familiar, but he wasn’t sure enough to say anything like that. He pressed his lips against Bones’ mouth. “Yeah, it is,” he finally said before he moved his hand from Bones’ back down to grip his ass. He was good at the physical stuff, even if Bones was a different shape and sex than his normal partners. Sex was something he could handle, something he could excel at while trying to show Bones how he felt because emotions and words just weren’t his strength at all.
McCoy let out a quiet sound of approval when Jim went for the ass-grab and he took that as a sign to continue them along from where they were stopped and push things forward. He started to slowly walk Jim back into the bedroom, taking his time while laying kisses all over his neck and brushing them up to his chin, stealing several on the lips. "I've done this maybe four times in my life. Twice pre-Jocelyn and twice post-divorce when I was sure that women were Satan's minions only out to steal me of my money and my life," he half-growled, still trapped slightly in bitterness. "I want this to be right, though, Jim, so you just tell me when things are going off the tracks, got it?" Because he couldn't stop that worry.
"This is your ship to control, Captain," McCoy murmured. "What're your orders?"
The fact that Bones was vocal during sex was still so damn arousing. Jim couldn’t even explain why it turned him on so much. The noises and sounds were like the cheek twitch and dimple smile, though. Jim had to earn them, which made it all the more rewarding. Bones mentioned four times, but Jim wasn’t really sure what ‘this’ meant. In his case, a couple of drunken kisses and one time against a wall with a guy’s hand on his cock wasn’t really anything too memorable.
“Four times, huh?” Jim kissed Bones’ jaw. “I can’t give a number unless you really want me to stop and try to remember, but I think I could count them on one hand. Only one had his hands on my dick, though, if that’s important.” He licked the skin he’d been kissing. “I’ll be sure to tell you if things aren’t right.” He laughed softly and moved his hand up Bones’ spine. “A good captain always recognizes when he’s negotiating unfamiliar territory and knows when to rely on the expertise of his crew,” he said. “In this case, I think we should just let your experience guide us and see what happens.”
"I thought you were a genius, Jim," McCoy couldn't help teasing as he pushed the door to the bedroom open with one hand, grinning because he knew that the room was set up with champagne on the night table and dim lighting to set the mood. More favors from Arlington. "Don't tell me you can't count and kiss at the same time." Just to prove his point, McCoy leaned in for another kiss, this time dragging it out longer than any of the others, tugging Jim's lips into his mouth and slowly kissing him until he had to pull in a shaky breath through his nose. "My expertise is saying that you should get us undressed," McCoy said, his eyes darker than before, only looking at Jim. "And that you should get on the bed."
“Counting and kissing aren’t qualifiers for being a genius,” Jim said, pushing his lower lip out in an exaggerated pout as he stumbled backwards into the bedroom. Bones kissed him, a slow, thorough kiss that left Jim panting when they parted. If he’d ever been kissed like that in the past, he might have seen the merits of commitment sooner. He was glad that it was with Bones, though, even if he still wasn’t entirely certain what his feelings were exactly.
Jim glanced around the room, slowly smiling when he noticed champagne and the low lighting. “More mood setting?” he teased before he focused back on Bones. His amusement faded when he saw the expression on Bones’ face. He licked his lips as he shifted his weight from one foot to another. “You’re first,” he decided, reaching over to begin undressing Bones. Since there was no reason to hurry, he took his time, exploring the skin that he uncovered and touching Bones’ chest curiously. He wanted to learn everything about him, he realized. What sounds he made when he was touched in a variety of places and what turned him on and how his expression changed when he became aroused.
"I had you pegged as a genius in all areas, don't disappoint me now." But it was just more teasing, a lilt in his tone, words that were designed to try and get a mild rise out of Jim, to try and spark things along a little more. They were finally in the bedroom, which meant that McCoy had achieved one of his goals for the evening.
Chapter 7 | Chapter 9