[Stargate: Atlantis] Seedpeople 2: The Seedening
Title: Seedpeople 2: The Seedening
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13 for mild language and the gratuitous use of the word 'seedpeople'.
Summary: The sleepy little town of Comet Valley has been invaded by plants from outer space. Intent on taking over the Earth, the space plants have found a way to pollinate humans, thus turning them into walking seedcarriers. Can the resourceful residents fight off the alien invaders,or is the planet doomed to become an alien garden?
Comments: My fic for the B-movie Ficathon.
They were on a mission when things took a turn for the ultimate in bizarre in Atlantis, so John thinks it's only fair that the others remember that fact before shaking their heads and clucking their tongues in dismay. At least his team managed to put an end to the evil seedpeople's reign of terror and mayhem...eventually. Okay, so maybe the seedpeople weren't really actually evil so much as following their biological imperative, but there had been a lot of running and screaming involved, which contrary to popular belief, was not the normal way of life in Atlantis.
Still.
It wasn't their fault they didn't catch on right away - they were a little too caught up in celebrating the fact that they'd managed to come back from a mission without any injuries, new enemies or completely failing at what they had set out to do in the first place. They had, in fact, made new allies who were honestly thrilled to trade with them, showed no signs of being secretly evil, and oddly enough, wanted to exchange juicy gossip about the goings on in other parts of the galaxy. Even better, they even managed to get shiny new weapons in the process, which kind of bypassed good and went straight to really, really cool.
And really, how hard was it to determine whether or not a bunch of plants were potentially dangerous? Hadn't the creepy little sucker mouths and the whole 'I will eat your brains' vibe given them away? Not to mention determining if the damned things were sentient in the first place, because really? Kind of obvious when they start talking to you.
“John?”
John looks up to see everyone around the briefing room table staring at him as though he's either sprouted another head or -
“Did I say that out loud?”
Rodney grimaces and kicks John under the table before turning to Elizabeth. “It's the seedpeople pollen. Apparently it makes it difficult for certain people,” Rodney glances at John here just to really drive his point home, “to distinguish the differences between internal and external dialogues.”
John makes a face and decidedly does not sink lower in his chair to avoid looking at people who are looking at him like he's some sort of particularly fascinating experiment, which he is not, thank you very much.
“Also,” Rodney continues with another vicious kick to John's much abused shins. “It's given him a truly horrendous case of the munchies and the son of a bitch isn't sharing.”
Once again, John does not look at the other people in the room, but he does curl a protective arm around the little pile of junk food goodness spread on the table before him just in case. He's surrounded by civilian scientists after all, and he knows all too well how devious and ruthless they can be when the situation warrants. Also, it's so very not his fault if he was the only one with the presence of mind to bring snacks to what looks like to be a very long debriefing.
He barely restrains himself from a hearty little 'neener neener' when Rodney shoots him a dark look, because hey, it's fun to mess with Rodney even if it costs him hot water and other such creature comforts for the foreseeable future.
“Shouldn't he be in the infirmary?” One of Rodney's minions asks, eying John warily.
Rodney snorts, eyes flicking from the speaker to John, mouth twisted in a derisive little sneer that is perfectly at home there. “The pollen is relatively harmless and Carson wanted him away from the shiny, blinky lights before he blew something up or dismantled another diagnostic machine.”
There's a moment of awkward silence while everyone absorbs what Rodney's just said, and John looks up to see that he's getting looks that don't ask 'Potential experiment?' so much as 'Closet geek?', and he's not sure that's much better. He has a reputation to maintain, and being known as 'the guy who takes things apart when under the influence of alien seedpeople pollen because it's fun' won't help any.
At the head of the table Elizabeth clears her throat and tries to pretend she's dealing with rational, reasonable adults as she leans forward with an intent expression. “Now, I believe Doctor Parrish was telling us about the...” Elizabeth purses her mouth as though what she's about to say next is personally offensive to her, “seedpeople.”
Parrish clears his throat and avoids making eye contact with anyone at the table, especially Rodney, who has been glaring at him ever since they discovered he was the one responsible for bringing near-disaster down upon their heads this time.
John thinks Rodney's just relieved it wasn't one of them and is masking said relief by placing a disproportionate amount of anger and blame on him. That, or he's still miffed that Parrish got the last muffin-thing at breakfast the other day.
Elizabeth gives Rodney a quelling look and encourages Parrish to continue and John settles in for the duration, unwrapping a Snickers while Parrish goes through the highlights and Rodney seethes.
John may be willing to take a dose of alien seedpeople pollen to the face for Rodney, but there's no way in hell he'll share his precious candy stash with him. At least not without proper compensation, and after the way he was making free with the physical abuse? Not about to happen anytime soon.
Rodney looks his way as though he can read his mind, and John's eyes widen as he realizes he still doesn't have control of the whole internal/external dialogue thing anymore. Rodney just smirks at him, and John finds himself hoping he can get through the next few hours without anything too embarrassing happening.
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John eyes his bed lovingly as the door closes behind him, because hey, long day, lots of running and shooting things, and his feet are killing him.
“Oh for - just sit down already before you fall over.” Rodney snaps, giving John a not-so-gentle nudge towards the bed as he makes a beeline for John's desk, laptop in hand. “I've got reports to read, projects to work on and none of it is going to get done if you don't move out of my way.”
John's torn between pointing out the fact that Rodney practically volunteered to keep an eye on John while the pollen wears off, but decides after a pointed glare to keep his silence on the matter. And anyway, he hasn't seen his bed for a while and it might not be a bad idea to reacquaint himself with it.
“Today was just wrong on so many levels.” Rodney's muttering to his laptop as he powers it up. “I mean...since when were we living some Twilight Zone episode anyway? I was a lot happier with the Star Trek theme we had going - we had better chances of running into hot alien women that way.”
John glances at him as he drops onto his bed, eyebrow raised. “Outer Limits.”
“What?”
“It was more like an Outer Limits episode,” he clarifies, taking his boots off. “There's always that little twist at the end, just to mess with your head a little more. Twilight Zone was just weird.”
Rodney actually pauses in what he's doing to give John a thoughtful look, his expression clearly indicating that perhaps John isn't as abysmally stupid as previously suspected. John kind of hates that he finds it strangely flattering, because it means he's well and truly snared.
“Right, well, I still need to come up with a suitable punishment for Parrish.”
“Why?” John asks, laying down on his side to watch Rodney. “And before you do anything to completely crush his will to live, remember that Lorne knows how to use a gun.”
Rodney rolls his eyes and goes back to typing. “Please. A mentally impaired monkey could use a gun. And unlike certain others I could mention, Lorne is well aware of the risks involved in incurring the wrath of people that have power over hot and cold running water in the city. He wouldn't dare.”
“I don't know...he's pretty attached to Parrish.” John points out, smiling a little at Rodney's annoyed huff. “He might be willing to do a lot for him.”
John takes it as a good sign that he doesn't actually say out loud that he feels pretty much the same damn way about Rodney, because it means the effects of the alien pollen are wearing off.
Rodney turns to glare at John, arms crossed. “Speaking of which, not sharing your candy hoard? What the hell was that all about?”
John shrugs, trying for innocent as Rodney's eyes narrow. “You hadn't done anything to earn it.”
“I what?” Rodney demands, incredulous and definitely pissed as he gets to his feet. “I didn't 'earn it'?”
John smirks, resting his head on his hand as he watches Rodney close the distance between them, so very, very irritated and way hotter than he has any right to be.
“I spent the majority of my day running from the rabid, brain sucking seedpeople, figured out a way to stop them, saved Atlantis - and ourselves, in case you failed to notice, by the way - and I didn't earn the right to share your candy?”
John winces as Rodney's voice reaches towards the shrill end of the spectrum towards the end of his little rant, but he does have something of a point. It was a particularly unusual day, even for Atlantis.
“I don't think plants can catch rabies.” John says, just to see the annoyed twitch Rodney gets when he knows John's trying to get to him. “I mean...plants.”
Rodney rolls his eyes and continues talking as though John hasn't spoken. “And on top of that, I had to listen to Parrish and his extremely biased recounting of events, even though he had been slimed with the others and obviously knew nothing about the very real danger we were all in. The man's a menace.”
John grins up at Rodney as he stops at the edge of the bed. “You're still mad he got the last muffin-thing, aren't you.”
Rodney sighs, deflating. “Yes, dammit. It had those little berry-things in it I like.”
“And?”
Rodney grimaces. “And maybe he had a salient point or two in the debriefing. Possibly.”
“And?”
“And maybe there was a tiny, little infinitesimal misunderstanding between the seedpeople and us and they weren't really trying to kill us all horribly.”
“And?” John prods again, taking a sort of unholy glee in trying to provoke Rodney.
“Look, would you like me to leave?” Rodney asks, glancing over his shoulder at the door. “Because I can, you know. Leave you here with your twisted sense of humor and prize candy stash so the three of you can have some quality time alone. I'm sure you'd all appreciate it after a day like today.”
John takes a moment to consider Rodney's very generous offer seriously. “You could join us?” He offers, reaching out to pat the bed invitingly. “There's plenty of room for everyone.”
“No, no, I wouldn't want to intrude.” Rodney answers magnanimously. “You get so little time together as it is.”
John smiles and pats the bed again. “We were thinking you'd like to earn points.” He says, eyebrow raised. “Sort of like an incentive plan.”
Rodney gives him a look that's part amusement, part suspicion. “Incentive plan?”
“Oh yes,” John says, moving back a little as Rodney sits on the edge of the bed. “You know, earn a few points here, a few points there. Maybe trade them in sometime.”
“Trade them in?”
John nods eagerly as Rodney moves a little closer. “We don't really have a system worked out yet, just start small and work your way up, you know? Something like a hundred points for a chocolate mint, two hundred for a candy bar.”
Rodney's grinning now, giving John the look that says he knows just how big a dork John really is. “Start small and work my way up, hmmm? I think I can manage with that.” He says, moving to straddle John.
John thinks he can too, mainly by the way Rodney's just looking at him as though he's even more amazing than any Ancient gizmo ever could be. “We were thinking about maybe having special event days every once in a while. Maybe double points on Wednesdays, something like that.”
Rodney sits back on his heels and regards John with the expression John likes to think is just for him, a cross between the look Rodney uses for the terminally stupid and the one for the people he has a strange and completely inexplicable fondness for. Even if they do annoy him on a regular basis.
“You really need to shut up right now.” Rodney says after a moment, stretching out over John, smiling a little. “Really, really need to shut up.”
John opens his mouth to protest, but Rodney raises an eyebrow and John decides that maybe Rodney has a point there. “Yeah, okay.”
Rodney's lips twitch as he inches closer. “Ah, yes, how very eloquent of you.”
“Yeah, well...you know.” John says, trying for coherence and failing utterly as Rodney's hands trail over his side, fingers skimming along across his ribs.
“Yeah,” Rodney says, smiling as he leans in for a kiss, “I know.”
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13 for mild language and the gratuitous use of the word 'seedpeople'.
Summary: The sleepy little town of Comet Valley has been invaded by plants from outer space. Intent on taking over the Earth, the space plants have found a way to pollinate humans, thus turning them into walking seedcarriers. Can the resourceful residents fight off the alien invaders,or is the planet doomed to become an alien garden?
Comments: My fic for the B-movie Ficathon.
They were on a mission when things took a turn for the ultimate in bizarre in Atlantis, so John thinks it's only fair that the others remember that fact before shaking their heads and clucking their tongues in dismay. At least his team managed to put an end to the evil seedpeople's reign of terror and mayhem...eventually. Okay, so maybe the seedpeople weren't really actually evil so much as following their biological imperative, but there had been a lot of running and screaming involved, which contrary to popular belief, was not the normal way of life in Atlantis.
Still.
It wasn't their fault they didn't catch on right away - they were a little too caught up in celebrating the fact that they'd managed to come back from a mission without any injuries, new enemies or completely failing at what they had set out to do in the first place. They had, in fact, made new allies who were honestly thrilled to trade with them, showed no signs of being secretly evil, and oddly enough, wanted to exchange juicy gossip about the goings on in other parts of the galaxy. Even better, they even managed to get shiny new weapons in the process, which kind of bypassed good and went straight to really, really cool.
And really, how hard was it to determine whether or not a bunch of plants were potentially dangerous? Hadn't the creepy little sucker mouths and the whole 'I will eat your brains' vibe given them away? Not to mention determining if the damned things were sentient in the first place, because really? Kind of obvious when they start talking to you.
“John?”
John looks up to see everyone around the briefing room table staring at him as though he's either sprouted another head or -
“Did I say that out loud?”
Rodney grimaces and kicks John under the table before turning to Elizabeth. “It's the seedpeople pollen. Apparently it makes it difficult for certain people,” Rodney glances at John here just to really drive his point home, “to distinguish the differences between internal and external dialogues.”
John makes a face and decidedly does not sink lower in his chair to avoid looking at people who are looking at him like he's some sort of particularly fascinating experiment, which he is not, thank you very much.
“Also,” Rodney continues with another vicious kick to John's much abused shins. “It's given him a truly horrendous case of the munchies and the son of a bitch isn't sharing.”
Once again, John does not look at the other people in the room, but he does curl a protective arm around the little pile of junk food goodness spread on the table before him just in case. He's surrounded by civilian scientists after all, and he knows all too well how devious and ruthless they can be when the situation warrants. Also, it's so very not his fault if he was the only one with the presence of mind to bring snacks to what looks like to be a very long debriefing.
He barely restrains himself from a hearty little 'neener neener' when Rodney shoots him a dark look, because hey, it's fun to mess with Rodney even if it costs him hot water and other such creature comforts for the foreseeable future.
“Shouldn't he be in the infirmary?” One of Rodney's minions asks, eying John warily.
Rodney snorts, eyes flicking from the speaker to John, mouth twisted in a derisive little sneer that is perfectly at home there. “The pollen is relatively harmless and Carson wanted him away from the shiny, blinky lights before he blew something up or dismantled another diagnostic machine.”
There's a moment of awkward silence while everyone absorbs what Rodney's just said, and John looks up to see that he's getting looks that don't ask 'Potential experiment?' so much as 'Closet geek?', and he's not sure that's much better. He has a reputation to maintain, and being known as 'the guy who takes things apart when under the influence of alien seedpeople pollen because it's fun' won't help any.
At the head of the table Elizabeth clears her throat and tries to pretend she's dealing with rational, reasonable adults as she leans forward with an intent expression. “Now, I believe Doctor Parrish was telling us about the...” Elizabeth purses her mouth as though what she's about to say next is personally offensive to her, “seedpeople.”
Parrish clears his throat and avoids making eye contact with anyone at the table, especially Rodney, who has been glaring at him ever since they discovered he was the one responsible for bringing near-disaster down upon their heads this time.
John thinks Rodney's just relieved it wasn't one of them and is masking said relief by placing a disproportionate amount of anger and blame on him. That, or he's still miffed that Parrish got the last muffin-thing at breakfast the other day.
Elizabeth gives Rodney a quelling look and encourages Parrish to continue and John settles in for the duration, unwrapping a Snickers while Parrish goes through the highlights and Rodney seethes.
John may be willing to take a dose of alien seedpeople pollen to the face for Rodney, but there's no way in hell he'll share his precious candy stash with him. At least not without proper compensation, and after the way he was making free with the physical abuse? Not about to happen anytime soon.
Rodney looks his way as though he can read his mind, and John's eyes widen as he realizes he still doesn't have control of the whole internal/external dialogue thing anymore. Rodney just smirks at him, and John finds himself hoping he can get through the next few hours without anything too embarrassing happening.
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John eyes his bed lovingly as the door closes behind him, because hey, long day, lots of running and shooting things, and his feet are killing him.
“Oh for - just sit down already before you fall over.” Rodney snaps, giving John a not-so-gentle nudge towards the bed as he makes a beeline for John's desk, laptop in hand. “I've got reports to read, projects to work on and none of it is going to get done if you don't move out of my way.”
John's torn between pointing out the fact that Rodney practically volunteered to keep an eye on John while the pollen wears off, but decides after a pointed glare to keep his silence on the matter. And anyway, he hasn't seen his bed for a while and it might not be a bad idea to reacquaint himself with it.
“Today was just wrong on so many levels.” Rodney's muttering to his laptop as he powers it up. “I mean...since when were we living some Twilight Zone episode anyway? I was a lot happier with the Star Trek theme we had going - we had better chances of running into hot alien women that way.”
John glances at him as he drops onto his bed, eyebrow raised. “Outer Limits.”
“What?”
“It was more like an Outer Limits episode,” he clarifies, taking his boots off. “There's always that little twist at the end, just to mess with your head a little more. Twilight Zone was just weird.”
Rodney actually pauses in what he's doing to give John a thoughtful look, his expression clearly indicating that perhaps John isn't as abysmally stupid as previously suspected. John kind of hates that he finds it strangely flattering, because it means he's well and truly snared.
“Right, well, I still need to come up with a suitable punishment for Parrish.”
“Why?” John asks, laying down on his side to watch Rodney. “And before you do anything to completely crush his will to live, remember that Lorne knows how to use a gun.”
Rodney rolls his eyes and goes back to typing. “Please. A mentally impaired monkey could use a gun. And unlike certain others I could mention, Lorne is well aware of the risks involved in incurring the wrath of people that have power over hot and cold running water in the city. He wouldn't dare.”
“I don't know...he's pretty attached to Parrish.” John points out, smiling a little at Rodney's annoyed huff. “He might be willing to do a lot for him.”
John takes it as a good sign that he doesn't actually say out loud that he feels pretty much the same damn way about Rodney, because it means the effects of the alien pollen are wearing off.
Rodney turns to glare at John, arms crossed. “Speaking of which, not sharing your candy hoard? What the hell was that all about?”
John shrugs, trying for innocent as Rodney's eyes narrow. “You hadn't done anything to earn it.”
“I what?” Rodney demands, incredulous and definitely pissed as he gets to his feet. “I didn't 'earn it'?”
John smirks, resting his head on his hand as he watches Rodney close the distance between them, so very, very irritated and way hotter than he has any right to be.
“I spent the majority of my day running from the rabid, brain sucking seedpeople, figured out a way to stop them, saved Atlantis - and ourselves, in case you failed to notice, by the way - and I didn't earn the right to share your candy?”
John winces as Rodney's voice reaches towards the shrill end of the spectrum towards the end of his little rant, but he does have something of a point. It was a particularly unusual day, even for Atlantis.
“I don't think plants can catch rabies.” John says, just to see the annoyed twitch Rodney gets when he knows John's trying to get to him. “I mean...plants.”
Rodney rolls his eyes and continues talking as though John hasn't spoken. “And on top of that, I had to listen to Parrish and his extremely biased recounting of events, even though he had been slimed with the others and obviously knew nothing about the very real danger we were all in. The man's a menace.”
John grins up at Rodney as he stops at the edge of the bed. “You're still mad he got the last muffin-thing, aren't you.”
Rodney sighs, deflating. “Yes, dammit. It had those little berry-things in it I like.”
“And?”
Rodney grimaces. “And maybe he had a salient point or two in the debriefing. Possibly.”
“And?”
“And maybe there was a tiny, little infinitesimal misunderstanding between the seedpeople and us and they weren't really trying to kill us all horribly.”
“And?” John prods again, taking a sort of unholy glee in trying to provoke Rodney.
“Look, would you like me to leave?” Rodney asks, glancing over his shoulder at the door. “Because I can, you know. Leave you here with your twisted sense of humor and prize candy stash so the three of you can have some quality time alone. I'm sure you'd all appreciate it after a day like today.”
John takes a moment to consider Rodney's very generous offer seriously. “You could join us?” He offers, reaching out to pat the bed invitingly. “There's plenty of room for everyone.”
“No, no, I wouldn't want to intrude.” Rodney answers magnanimously. “You get so little time together as it is.”
John smiles and pats the bed again. “We were thinking you'd like to earn points.” He says, eyebrow raised. “Sort of like an incentive plan.”
Rodney gives him a look that's part amusement, part suspicion. “Incentive plan?”
“Oh yes,” John says, moving back a little as Rodney sits on the edge of the bed. “You know, earn a few points here, a few points there. Maybe trade them in sometime.”
“Trade them in?”
John nods eagerly as Rodney moves a little closer. “We don't really have a system worked out yet, just start small and work your way up, you know? Something like a hundred points for a chocolate mint, two hundred for a candy bar.”
Rodney's grinning now, giving John the look that says he knows just how big a dork John really is. “Start small and work my way up, hmmm? I think I can manage with that.” He says, moving to straddle John.
John thinks he can too, mainly by the way Rodney's just looking at him as though he's even more amazing than any Ancient gizmo ever could be. “We were thinking about maybe having special event days every once in a while. Maybe double points on Wednesdays, something like that.”
Rodney sits back on his heels and regards John with the expression John likes to think is just for him, a cross between the look Rodney uses for the terminally stupid and the one for the people he has a strange and completely inexplicable fondness for. Even if they do annoy him on a regular basis.
“You really need to shut up right now.” Rodney says after a moment, stretching out over John, smiling a little. “Really, really need to shut up.”
John opens his mouth to protest, but Rodney raises an eyebrow and John decides that maybe Rodney has a point there. “Yeah, okay.”
Rodney's lips twitch as he inches closer. “Ah, yes, how very eloquent of you.”
“Yeah, well...you know.” John says, trying for coherence and failing utterly as Rodney's hands trail over his side, fingers skimming along across his ribs.
“Yeah,” Rodney says, smiling as he leans in for a kiss, “I know.”