"This next song's about killing the fuck out of someone...it's called NAIL CASKET ( Read more... )

Late again? She better drive extra fast. Oh, no. Her tits are on Oatmeal Street and her brains are on Willow Drive. That's two blocks away. Long way for tits to be away from brains.

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your LJ along with your 7 songs. Then ask 7 other people to see what they're listening to ( Read more... )

I came to the realization that I would make a tremendous housewife. I honestly think that staying home and cooking and cleaning and shit is my calling. I got a chicken in the oven, took care of some dishes, rocked some laundry, and now I just wanna kick back and enjoy my stories before Bob comes home.

This is what it's come to.

Sobriety, Day Nine ( Read more... )

I'm scared of my drunk logic sometimes...I think I just meant to say Jessica Biel is attractive, and the new 3 Inches of Blood album is really good. Thanks for your patience and God Bless America.

I've gotten laid since the last post. Thanks go out to my aunts, nuns, and aunt/nuns. BFF.

But it's not enough. I didn't get laid to the new 3 Inches of Blood album with Jessica Biel. This saddens me. It sets, according to Cam Pipes, the human race back...and I quote: "a million years"!


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Fast forwarding through Herbie: Fully Loaded in HD with the sound off is proof that I need to get laid.

I've got 6 beers in me, the Devils are tied with the Flyers, I don't know what to do with my life, and I may or may not be dying, but the top concern I have right now??

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A big chunk of ice fell on the AC outside of our office window, exploding loudly and scaring the hell out of everyone.

Me: "Too bad the window didn't break, then we could have left early."
Co-Worker: "Oooooooo-kay."

I hate condescending people. I hate stupid people. People who somehow fucking manage to be both amaze and infuriate me ( Read more... )