(no subject)
Title: The Adventures of Demyx and his Lama
Author: Demyxfangirll
Rating:
One for really bad grammar and composition, one for all the OOCness, and one for a horrible storyline. Honestly, it's not bad in a scary way. It's just not a good fanfic is all.
Full Name (including any titles): Demyx, Axel, Xemnas, Zexion, Larxene
Full Species(es): Rabid Fangirlus
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Special Possessions (if any): A Lama! (No. Sadly, there’s no llama.) His name is Steve. Axel has a Moogle plushy! *dies*
Origin: Castle Oblivion? a three year old?
Connections To Canon Characters: I’m told they are supposed to be the characters…
Special Abilities: Axel is suddenly king of dating advice *is laser’d*
Other Annoying Traits: Demyx remains stupid. Axel joins him this time. Zexion appears to be joining the ranks.
I Say/Notes: Beta’s exist for a reason
Also. This is my first time sporking. Hope I’m not too bad! And sorry if it is teh suck! Chapter 1, 2 and 3 are already up.
Sample:
We open on the sporking theater, which is a little hazy due to Axel setting chairs on fire. Luckily, the management restrained him before he could burn the entire theater. Demyx and Xemnas appear in the theater via portals of darkness and sit on each side of the restrained Axel.
Demyx: Ugh. That took forever! My room was messier than I thought. But I found my favorite sitar songbook!
Axel: Great. Xemnas. Can I please violate the rules and mess up his room again and lose it for him.
Xemnas: *ignores* No practicing in the castle.
Demyx: Dang. Axel… What are you doing tied to the chair?
Axel: I was burning the theater so the management tied me up. *sulks*
Demyx: Where's Zexion.
Xemnas: He escaped. Now. Silence. It’s starting.
The title of the next chapter flashes on the screen.
Chapter four
Pep talk
A disclaimer tells us she still owns nothing, and then she promises this is a funny chapter.
Axel: I doubt it.
(Knock) (Knock) (Knock)
Xemnas: Just… No.
Demyx knocked on Axel’s door “What?” Axel said to the some what sleepy member
Axel: And here I was sure that was asking a question.
Demyx: That whole sentence was just… Confusing. And wrong.
“Axel (yawn) I have to bunk with you for the night” Demyx said very tired
Axel: Someone needs to teach this girl how to write actions in stories. This is just horrible.
Xemnas: I say her knocking was worse.
“Um ok why?” Axel replied scratching his head
Axel: Why would I just submit and let him stay.
Demyx: Maybe Xemnas told you to submit. Get it. Submit?
Axel and Xemnas: Shut up.
Axel: Besides. That was Ansem.
“My room is (Yawn) being fumigated and Superior said I could” Demyx said trying to stay awake
All: …
Demyx: I was guessing!
Axel: Maybe you really have been around these for too long.
“Fine but why is it being fumigated?” Axel replied “Well my lama got fleas and now they’re everywhere in my room!” Demyx said worried for his sitar
Axel: You would.
Demyx: Do you know how much that thing costs?
Axel: You make it from freaking water, and being that that’s a FREE resource that you manage to conjure up even when there's no water around, I’m guessing nothing!
Xemnas: When one has their home fumigated, does it not involve the entire house not to mention everyone leaving?
Axel: And who’s doing the fumigation. Nobody fumigation specialist?
Demyx: Do we have those?
Axel: Doubt it.
“Ok come on in” Axel said walking back into his room “Come on Steve!” Demyx said to his lama as he walked in “Here is where you sleep…” Axel said as he sat on his bed
Axel: Wait. Llama’s go outside! And besides. He’s the bringer of the fleas is he not?
Demyx: Maybe I didn’t want him to get cold.
Xemnas: Where precisely are you telling him to sleep?
Axel: The closet. Nothing important in there anyway.
Demyx: That would be cramped.
Axel: Especially with the llama.
“OOO what’s this!” Demyx said as he picked up a small plush toy “DON’T TOUCH THAT!” Axel said jumping of his bed “Oh my gosh… you have a… MOOGLE PLUSHY!?!?!?!?!” Demyx said in amused be the plush
Axel: *burns the ropes and jumps up to point at screen* I HAVE NO SUCH THING NOR WILL I EVER HAVE ONE! *slumps angrily in seat* Bet you this girl is a plushie in secret!
Xemnas: Amused be the plush?
Axel: *grunts* The plush be with you…
Demyx: What is it with this girl and her question and exclamation mark abuse?
Xemnas: Brain damage. It must be. There is no other explanation. Not even darkness is this corrupting.
Axel tells Demyx not to touch his Moogle and then the three go to bed. They are woken at two in the morning by bad knocking actions a knock on the door. Demyx is startled by the mysterious action knocking. Axel answers the door to find Zexion.
“I need help” Zexion replied
Demyx: I’ll say. He’s mean.
“I’ll say!” Demyx said as he walked over to the door. “Whatever” Zexion said.
All: …
Axel: You know. Two times in one fic that’s less than two paragraphs has got to make you wonder.
Demyx: I was just saying…
Axel: Maybe you’re IC.
Demyx: Please! I’m not that annoying!
“alright what is it?” Axel said as he and Demyx walked out into the hall. “I can’t sleep… all I can think about is-” Zexion said but was interrupted “Larxene” Demyx and Axel said.
Axel: I wish Zexion were here to see this.
Xemnas: He will suffer. Trust me.
“(sigh) yeah” Zexion said sulking over to one of the many benches in the hall.
All: Benches?
Xemnas: No such thing exist. That place is spotless to the point of nothing besides floors, walls and the ceiling!
Axel: Well you know, officially, this is taking place at Castle Oblivion.
Xemnas: There were no benches there either.
Demyx: Yeah. Just a bad fighting system.
Axel: Stupid Blue Eyes White Dragon. I hate you Larxene.
Demyx: What?
Axel: *grumbles*
“Let me guess you want to ask Larxene out on a date and you don’t know what to do so you came here at two o’clock in the morning to ask for our help. Right?” Demyx said as he crossed his arms.
Axel: What is it with you crossing your arms?
Demyx: I think the author thinks this is a sign of authority… Or something.
Xemnas: Her brain has been corrupted.
Axel: By darkness?
Xemnas: Darkness does not cause stupidity. Just evil. Cartoons are probably the culprit here.
Axel: No you didn’t just say that.
Xemnas: Yes. Yes I did.
Axel: That’s one step away from saying video games and therefore blaming yourself.
Xemnas: Silence.
Axel: Right.
“Uh…well… yeah. YOU HAVE TO HELP ME GUYS I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ASK HER OUT! I CAN'T SLEEP AND I'M AFRAID THAT WHEN I TRY TO ASK HER OUT I'M ETHER GOING TO FORGET MY NAME OR PASS OUT!!! AND-”
Axel: Asking Larxene things like that would cause passing out.
Demyx: And death.
Xemnas: She’s radioactive.
Zexion was so freaked out Demyx had to stop him before he hyperventilated “ZEXION!!!! CHILL! Ok? JUST CHILL! we are going to help you! Don’t go into cardiac arrest!” Demyx said shaking Zexion by the shoulders.
Axel: Cardiac arrest?
Demyx: I play a doctor on TV.
Xemnas: Badly.
Demyx: Soap Opera Doctors are seldom good doctors. Just scandalous!
Xemnas and Axel: ...
Demyx: Not saying that I watch them!
“But-but-but!” Zexion tried to talk but he couldn’t say a word. “Zexion breath! Just breath… calm your self.. Peace in the valley..” Demyx finally calmed Zexion down.
Axel: I’m sorry. What? Peace in the valley?
Xemnas: Am I missing some obscure reference here?
Demyx: *blank stare* Johnny Cash maybe?
Axel: He wrote a song called “A Boy Named Sue”. You think there’s a connection?
Demyx: I hope not.
“Thanks” Zexion said. “know here is what you do”
Xemnas: “Know here is what you do”? I admit the English language is difficult with all the homonyms, but this is ridiculous.
Axel: Give it up. This girl is beyond educational help.
It is then stated that a pep talk is given in which Demyx was no help as he’s never asked a girl out either. Oh burn! Supposedly, this one sentence took a half an hour to happen for at two thirty, Zexion wants to go ask Larxene out, but is stopped by Axel who points out the time. (OH EM EFF GEE! He has a clock in his brain!!! XDD; ) Zexion is easily deterred. The end of the chapter comes, oddly not soon enough. We are asked to stay tuned for more madness.
Xemnas: I agree. This is madness.
Axel: *sigh* I need a break. I’m leaving for a bit. *opens a portal and leaves*
Xemnas: *Also leaves*
Demyx: *gets out sitar and songbook* Now that I’m alone… *starts playing “Peace in the Valley” by Johnny Cash*
Chapter 5 and 6 are up.
Author: Demyxfangirll
Rating:
One for really bad grammar and composition, one for all the OOCness, and one for a horrible storyline. Honestly, it's not bad in a scary way. It's just not a good fanfic is all.
Full Name (including any titles): Demyx, Axel, Xemnas, Zexion, Larxene
Full Species(es): Rabid Fangirlus
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Special Possessions (if any): A Lama! (No. Sadly, there’s no llama.) His name is Steve. Axel has a Moogle plushy! *dies*
Origin: Castle Oblivion? a three year old?
Connections To Canon Characters: I’m told they are supposed to be the characters…
Special Abilities: Axel is suddenly king of dating advice *is laser’d*
Other Annoying Traits: Demyx remains stupid. Axel joins him this time. Zexion appears to be joining the ranks.
I Say/Notes: Beta’s exist for a reason
Also. This is my first time sporking. Hope I’m not too bad! And sorry if it is teh suck! Chapter 1, 2 and 3 are already up.
Sample:
We open on the sporking theater, which is a little hazy due to Axel setting chairs on fire. Luckily, the management restrained him before he could burn the entire theater. Demyx and Xemnas appear in the theater via portals of darkness and sit on each side of the restrained Axel.
Demyx: Ugh. That took forever! My room was messier than I thought. But I found my favorite sitar songbook!
Axel: Great. Xemnas. Can I please violate the rules and mess up his room again and lose it for him.
Xemnas: *ignores* No practicing in the castle.
Demyx: Dang. Axel… What are you doing tied to the chair?
Axel: I was burning the theater so the management tied me up. *sulks*
Demyx: Where's Zexion.
Xemnas: He escaped. Now. Silence. It’s starting.
The title of the next chapter flashes on the screen.
Chapter four
Pep talk
A disclaimer tells us she still owns nothing, and then she promises this is a funny chapter.
Axel: I doubt it.
(Knock) (Knock) (Knock)
Xemnas: Just… No.
Demyx knocked on Axel’s door “What?” Axel said to the some what sleepy member
Axel: And here I was sure that was asking a question.
Demyx: That whole sentence was just… Confusing. And wrong.
“Axel (yawn) I have to bunk with you for the night” Demyx said very tired
Axel: Someone needs to teach this girl how to write actions in stories. This is just horrible.
Xemnas: I say her knocking was worse.
“Um ok why?” Axel replied scratching his head
Axel: Why would I just submit and let him stay.
Demyx: Maybe Xemnas told you to submit. Get it. Submit?
Axel and Xemnas: Shut up.
Axel: Besides. That was Ansem.
“My room is (Yawn) being fumigated and Superior said I could” Demyx said trying to stay awake
All: …
Demyx: I was guessing!
Axel: Maybe you really have been around these for too long.
“Fine but why is it being fumigated?” Axel replied “Well my lama got fleas and now they’re everywhere in my room!” Demyx said worried for his sitar
Axel: You would.
Demyx: Do you know how much that thing costs?
Axel: You make it from freaking water, and being that that’s a FREE resource that you manage to conjure up even when there's no water around, I’m guessing nothing!
Xemnas: When one has their home fumigated, does it not involve the entire house not to mention everyone leaving?
Axel: And who’s doing the fumigation. Nobody fumigation specialist?
Demyx: Do we have those?
Axel: Doubt it.
“Ok come on in” Axel said walking back into his room “Come on Steve!” Demyx said to his lama as he walked in “Here is where you sleep…” Axel said as he sat on his bed
Axel: Wait. Llama’s go outside! And besides. He’s the bringer of the fleas is he not?
Demyx: Maybe I didn’t want him to get cold.
Xemnas: Where precisely are you telling him to sleep?
Axel: The closet. Nothing important in there anyway.
Demyx: That would be cramped.
Axel: Especially with the llama.
“OOO what’s this!” Demyx said as he picked up a small plush toy “DON’T TOUCH THAT!” Axel said jumping of his bed “Oh my gosh… you have a… MOOGLE PLUSHY!?!?!?!?!” Demyx said in amused be the plush
Axel: *burns the ropes and jumps up to point at screen* I HAVE NO SUCH THING NOR WILL I EVER HAVE ONE! *slumps angrily in seat* Bet you this girl is a plushie in secret!
Xemnas: Amused be the plush?
Axel: *grunts* The plush be with you…
Demyx: What is it with this girl and her question and exclamation mark abuse?
Xemnas: Brain damage. It must be. There is no other explanation. Not even darkness is this corrupting.
Axel tells Demyx not to touch his Moogle and then the three go to bed. They are woken at two in the morning by bad knocking actions a knock on the door. Demyx is startled by the mysterious action knocking. Axel answers the door to find Zexion.
“I need help” Zexion replied
Demyx: I’ll say. He’s mean.
“I’ll say!” Demyx said as he walked over to the door. “Whatever” Zexion said.
All: …
Axel: You know. Two times in one fic that’s less than two paragraphs has got to make you wonder.
Demyx: I was just saying…
Axel: Maybe you’re IC.
Demyx: Please! I’m not that annoying!
“alright what is it?” Axel said as he and Demyx walked out into the hall. “I can’t sleep… all I can think about is-” Zexion said but was interrupted “Larxene” Demyx and Axel said.
Axel: I wish Zexion were here to see this.
Xemnas: He will suffer. Trust me.
“(sigh) yeah” Zexion said sulking over to one of the many benches in the hall.
All: Benches?
Xemnas: No such thing exist. That place is spotless to the point of nothing besides floors, walls and the ceiling!
Axel: Well you know, officially, this is taking place at Castle Oblivion.
Xemnas: There were no benches there either.
Demyx: Yeah. Just a bad fighting system.
Axel: Stupid Blue Eyes White Dragon. I hate you Larxene.
Demyx: What?
Axel: *grumbles*
“Let me guess you want to ask Larxene out on a date and you don’t know what to do so you came here at two o’clock in the morning to ask for our help. Right?” Demyx said as he crossed his arms.
Axel: What is it with you crossing your arms?
Demyx: I think the author thinks this is a sign of authority… Or something.
Xemnas: Her brain has been corrupted.
Axel: By darkness?
Xemnas: Darkness does not cause stupidity. Just evil. Cartoons are probably the culprit here.
Axel: No you didn’t just say that.
Xemnas: Yes. Yes I did.
Axel: That’s one step away from saying video games and therefore blaming yourself.
Xemnas: Silence.
Axel: Right.
“Uh…well… yeah. YOU HAVE TO HELP ME GUYS I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ASK HER OUT! I CAN'T SLEEP AND I'M AFRAID THAT WHEN I TRY TO ASK HER OUT I'M ETHER GOING TO FORGET MY NAME OR PASS OUT!!! AND-”
Axel: Asking Larxene things like that would cause passing out.
Demyx: And death.
Xemnas: She’s radioactive.
Zexion was so freaked out Demyx had to stop him before he hyperventilated “ZEXION!!!! CHILL! Ok? JUST CHILL! we are going to help you! Don’t go into cardiac arrest!” Demyx said shaking Zexion by the shoulders.
Axel: Cardiac arrest?
Demyx: I play a doctor on TV.
Xemnas: Badly.
Demyx: Soap Opera Doctors are seldom good doctors. Just scandalous!
Xemnas and Axel: ...
Demyx: Not saying that I watch them!
“But-but-but!” Zexion tried to talk but he couldn’t say a word. “Zexion breath! Just breath… calm your self.. Peace in the valley..” Demyx finally calmed Zexion down.
Axel: I’m sorry. What? Peace in the valley?
Xemnas: Am I missing some obscure reference here?
Demyx: *blank stare* Johnny Cash maybe?
Axel: He wrote a song called “A Boy Named Sue”. You think there’s a connection?
Demyx: I hope not.
“Thanks” Zexion said. “know here is what you do”
Xemnas: “Know here is what you do”? I admit the English language is difficult with all the homonyms, but this is ridiculous.
Axel: Give it up. This girl is beyond educational help.
It is then stated that a pep talk is given in which Demyx was no help as he’s never asked a girl out either. Oh burn! Supposedly, this one sentence took a half an hour to happen for at two thirty, Zexion wants to go ask Larxene out, but is stopped by Axel who points out the time. (OH EM EFF GEE! He has a clock in his brain!!! XDD; ) Zexion is easily deterred. The end of the chapter comes, oddly not soon enough. We are asked to stay tuned for more madness.
Xemnas: I agree. This is madness.
Axel: *sigh* I need a break. I’m leaving for a bit. *opens a portal and leaves*
Xemnas: *Also leaves*
Demyx: *gets out sitar and songbook* Now that I’m alone… *starts playing “Peace in the Valley” by Johnny Cash*
Chapter 5 and 6 are up.