(no subject)
Title: The Adventures of Demyx and his Lama
Author: Demyxfangirll
Rating:
One for really bad grammar and composition, one for all the OOCness, and one for a horrible storyline. Honestly, it's not bad in a scary way. It's just not a good fanfic is all.
Full Name (including any titles): Demyx, Axel, Xemnas, Zexion, Larxene
Full Species(es): Rabid Fangirlus
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Special Possessions (if any): A Lama! (No. Sadly, there’s no llama.)
Origin: Castle Oblivion?
Connections To Canon Characters: I’m told they are supposed to be the characters..
Special Abilities: Zexion can screech and Xemnas can make waffles.
Other Annoying Traits: Demyx remains stupid. *sigh*
I Say/Notes: Beta’s exist for a reason
Also. This is my first time sporking. Hope I’m not too bad! And sorry if it is teh suck! Chapter 1 can be found here.
Sample:
We open on the sporking theater to find Axel and Demyx sitting and eating popcorn. Two portals of darkness open and Xemnas and Zexion walk out.
Axel: Zexion? What are you doing here?
Zexion: Xemnas made me come.
Axel: Why? I thought you said you were gonna find someone to replace you.
Xemnas: Everyone except Zexion got away. Zexion has a tendency to disobey me, so I decided that if I must suffer, he will suffer with me.
Demyx: Ha Ha!
Zexion: *scowls*
Demyx: Sorry.
Axel: You know. It’s funny he managed to bring you.
Zexion: Why?
Axel: Hush. It’s starting.
The lights dim and the title of the next chapter flashes across the screen.
Chapter Two
Lama encounter
We start with a disclaimer about not owning Axel, Zexion or Demyx and then wishing she would. Oops. Did she type that out loud? We find out it’s the next day and everyone but Zexion knows about/has seen the Monk llama. Zexion is then walking down the hall when his hair is pulled.
Zexion: I’m in it?
Axel: Yeah. Just wait for what happens next.
“What do you want Larxene…” he turned around “AAAHHH!!” his screech was heard by every one in the castle most of them ignored it except for one and that one was Xemnas.
Zexion: I have two qualms with this. One. Why would I automatically assume it’s Larxene? Two. I don’t screech thank you.
Axel: Yeah. Just wait. And where’s the question mark by the way?
Demyx: I can imagine you screeching though.
Zexion: *glower*
Xemnas: I’m no longer just superior huh?
“What on earth was that!??!?!?” he ran up stairs as fast as he could and knocked on one of the members doors “what?” the drowsy blonde haired figure said to him “Demyx we have a situation and I think it involves your lama” he said worried that they may be to late
Axel: Wouldn’t you run towards the scream, not Demyx?
Xemnas: Why would I automatically assume it’s the Llama?
Zexion: Llama is not spelled lama.
Axel: Maybe the author didn’t mean a llama. Maybe she actually meant some sort of spiritual teacher.
Zexion: So there’s a monk pulling my hair?
Xemnas: What am I worried we may be too late for?
Axel: No. If you look, it says you’re going to “late”. Wherever that is…
Demyx: I’d like to report question mark and exclamation mark abuse.
“ok lets go!” Demyx pulls out his mp3 and plays superman music (lol) and they begin down the many halls of the castle.
All: …
Demyx: What did I just do.
Axel: Apparently, you pulled out an MP3, and played it. I didn’t know you could do that.
Demyx: Superman?
Axel: You know, she didn’t put that in the disclaimer.
Xemnas: Is that… Is she speaking within the fic?
Meanwhile with Zexion “WHAT IN THE NAME OF MOTHER OF PEARL IS A LAMA DOING IN THE HALL!?!?!?!?!?!?!” Zexion asked him self.
Demyx: MORE ABUSE!
Zexion: …
Axel: Does she realize just how stupid that saying is? Or how much it doesn’t work in this instance?
Xemnas: Obviously not.
Zexion: …
Demyx: Zexion?
Zexion: *fumes*
Axel: Just wait. It’s not done yet.
The lama just looked at him and then started eating Zexion’s hair
Axel and Demyx: Wow…
Zexion: I hate all of you.
“Hey stop it! That’s my hair you know! OW! And it’s attached to my head!” so the lama stopped for a minute and then spit in Zexion’s face (poor poor Zexion) “EWW! Lama spit!” and then it started eating his hair again
Zexion: *shell shocked*
Axel and Demyx: AHHH HA HA HA HA HA!
Zexion: *begins to scribble furiously in a small journal he pulled from his pocket*
Axel: Whatcha doin?
Zexion: Nothing that involves plans to make you and Demyx suffer.
Axel: Uh huh… But you know. It’s still not done.
Zexion: What’s worse than being spit on by a Llama?
Demyx: One with halitosis?
Zexion: *glare*
Demyx: *shrinks into chair*
Axel: Nope.
“Hey! I told you to stop it! Only Larxene can mess up my hair!” but Zexion didn’t notice that Demyx and Xemnas had been standing there the whole time. (DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!!!!!!! lol)
Zexion: *air turns dark around Zexion*
Xemnas:*is shocked himself*
Axel: Told ya.
Demyx: Oh no! You’re secret crush has been fund out!
Zexion: *stands in front of Demyx* I’m not a fighter, but I will KILL you DEAD!
Axel: *snort*
That same moment
“Oh really?” Demyx said with his arms crossed
Axel: 'That same moment' what?
Demyx: *whispers to himself on the screen* Don’t make him angry right now…
“oh great the annoying nocturne” he said as he turned around to face him
Zexion: *turns to agree with himself*
Demyx: *sneaks over to sit by Axel while Zexion is distracted*
Xemnas: It appears the period thief has struck again. And this time they stole the authors shift buttons too it seems.
“what happened to your hair?” the superior asked “Demyx’s stupid lama was chewing on it!” Zexion said trying to fix his hair
Xemnas: Back to superior?
Axel: Wait. Wait one moment! How does he know it’s Demyx’s Llama?
Demyx: What?
Axel: The author specifically stated that Zexion is the only one who doesn’t know about the llama, and now he suddenly knows. He may be a schemer but I don’t think he’s freaking Sherlock Holmes!
Zexion: I hate you too traitor.
“I see and then you said only Larxene could mess up your hair correct?” Demyx said trying to talk like Superior
Axel: But he fails miserably since Xemnas doesn’t talk that way anyway.
Demyx: I tried.
Xemnas: Never do it again.
“yes” Zexion grumbled “AWWW! Is she your witle girl fwend now?” Demyx said sarcastically
Axel: AHHH HA HA HA!!! That’s great! She’s got you baby talking!
Demyx: *conjures water to dump on Axel’s head*
Axel: *steams* *literally*
Xemnas: *trying yet again to remain stoic*
“SHUT UP! YOU MEDIOCER SITAR PLAYER!” he shouted
Axel: *still wet* You tell him!
Zexion: I still hate you.
Demyx: Hey… I’m really good.
“mediocre? HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY GREAT SITAR SKILLS!!” now Demyx was mad insulting Demyx’s music is like insulting the Superior you just don’t do it
Xemnas: It would appear the period thief ran rampant in this one.
Demyx: It sounds like she’s saying I was insulting myself.
Zexion: That wouldn’t be hard.
Demyx: *fume*
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” a female voice shouted from down the hall “uh oh” all three of them said. Larxene stormed down the hall her eye’s set on Demyx “IM TRYING TO READ!! AND ZEXION‘S RIGHT ONLY I CAN MESS UP HIS HAIR YOU DUMB LAMA!”
Demyx: Did she just call me a llama?
Zexion: Are…? Is…?
Axel: It would appear the love is mutual. Bow chika bow wow.
Zexion: I will make you pay.
Xemnas: Why am I saying uh oh? I’m not afraid of Larxene.
every one was shocked there was a great silence for a moment but was soon broken by the lama starting to chew on Zexion’s hair again “I said stop!” he walked over beside Larxene trying to escape the lama’s reach.
Axel: That was a long ass sentence.
Zexion: I would NOT hide behind Larxene.
“Well this has been an interesting morning. Every one down stairs in the lunch hall for waffles” superior said walking down the stairs.
Xemnas: …
Axel: Xemnas making waffles?
Xemnas: *stands up* CURsed FOOLS!!!
Axel: Oh shit! He’s pissed!
Axel, Demyx, Zexion: *ducks*
Xemnas: *red lasers shoot everywhere demolishing a portion of the theater amazingly sparing the screen and thankfully sparing the concession stand*
Axel: *sits up* Ok. looks like he’s done.
Xemnas: *looks calm and cool like nothing happened*
Demyx: Scary.
“YAY WAFFLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!” said the disturbingly giddy Demyx bouncing down the stairs like a five year old
Axel: So is that.
Demyx: I’m not that childish! Augh! I still hate you Jiminy!
Axel: You know. It’s just your bad fighting rep that’s his fault. Not your childishness.
Demyx: I’m still blaming him!
“okay…”
Zexion: Who’s speaking right here?
Axel: I don’t know. A shadow?
Demyx: The author?
Xemnas: Shut up. It’s almost over! I want to leave.
so every one went down stairs to have waffles… even the lama.
Authors note shows with bye bye spelt bi-bi
Xemnas: I’m going to go find someone else to do this! *opens a portal and leaves*
Zexion: I’m going to go and put the finishing touches on these plans to make your lives miserable. *opens his own portal and leaves*
Axel: Hmm.
Demyx: Are you worried?
Axel: Nah. Let’s go get some more popcorn. And soda. I’m thirsty.
Demyx: I can take care of that. *pours more water on Axel*
Axel: I’m going to kill you. Lucky you, my need for food overcomes my need to cause you bodily harm. Let’s go.
Both exit the theater.
Chapter 3, 4, 5 and 6 are up.
Author: Demyxfangirll
Rating:
One for really bad grammar and composition, one for all the OOCness, and one for a horrible storyline. Honestly, it's not bad in a scary way. It's just not a good fanfic is all.
Full Name (including any titles): Demyx, Axel, Xemnas, Zexion, Larxene
Full Species(es): Rabid Fangirlus
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Special Possessions (if any): A Lama! (No. Sadly, there’s no llama.)
Origin: Castle Oblivion?
Connections To Canon Characters: I’m told they are supposed to be the characters..
Special Abilities: Zexion can screech and Xemnas can make waffles.
Other Annoying Traits: Demyx remains stupid. *sigh*
I Say/Notes: Beta’s exist for a reason
Also. This is my first time sporking. Hope I’m not too bad! And sorry if it is teh suck! Chapter 1 can be found here.
Sample:
We open on the sporking theater to find Axel and Demyx sitting and eating popcorn. Two portals of darkness open and Xemnas and Zexion walk out.
Axel: Zexion? What are you doing here?
Zexion: Xemnas made me come.
Axel: Why? I thought you said you were gonna find someone to replace you.
Xemnas: Everyone except Zexion got away. Zexion has a tendency to disobey me, so I decided that if I must suffer, he will suffer with me.
Demyx: Ha Ha!
Zexion: *scowls*
Demyx: Sorry.
Axel: You know. It’s funny he managed to bring you.
Zexion: Why?
Axel: Hush. It’s starting.
The lights dim and the title of the next chapter flashes across the screen.
Chapter Two
Lama encounter
We start with a disclaimer about not owning Axel, Zexion or Demyx and then wishing she would. Oops. Did she type that out loud? We find out it’s the next day and everyone but Zexion knows about/has seen the Monk llama. Zexion is then walking down the hall when his hair is pulled.
Zexion: I’m in it?
Axel: Yeah. Just wait for what happens next.
“What do you want Larxene…” he turned around “AAAHHH!!” his screech was heard by every one in the castle most of them ignored it except for one and that one was Xemnas.
Zexion: I have two qualms with this. One. Why would I automatically assume it’s Larxene? Two. I don’t screech thank you.
Axel: Yeah. Just wait. And where’s the question mark by the way?
Demyx: I can imagine you screeching though.
Zexion: *glower*
Xemnas: I’m no longer just superior huh?
“What on earth was that!??!?!?” he ran up stairs as fast as he could and knocked on one of the members doors “what?” the drowsy blonde haired figure said to him “Demyx we have a situation and I think it involves your lama” he said worried that they may be to late
Axel: Wouldn’t you run towards the scream, not Demyx?
Xemnas: Why would I automatically assume it’s the Llama?
Zexion: Llama is not spelled lama.
Axel: Maybe the author didn’t mean a llama. Maybe she actually meant some sort of spiritual teacher.
Zexion: So there’s a monk pulling my hair?
Xemnas: What am I worried we may be too late for?
Axel: No. If you look, it says you’re going to “late”. Wherever that is…
Demyx: I’d like to report question mark and exclamation mark abuse.
“ok lets go!” Demyx pulls out his mp3 and plays superman music (lol) and they begin down the many halls of the castle.
All: …
Demyx: What did I just do.
Axel: Apparently, you pulled out an MP3, and played it. I didn’t know you could do that.
Demyx: Superman?
Axel: You know, she didn’t put that in the disclaimer.
Xemnas: Is that… Is she speaking within the fic?
Meanwhile with Zexion “WHAT IN THE NAME OF MOTHER OF PEARL IS A LAMA DOING IN THE HALL!?!?!?!?!?!?!” Zexion asked him self.
Demyx: MORE ABUSE!
Zexion: …
Axel: Does she realize just how stupid that saying is? Or how much it doesn’t work in this instance?
Xemnas: Obviously not.
Zexion: …
Demyx: Zexion?
Zexion: *fumes*
Axel: Just wait. It’s not done yet.
The lama just looked at him and then started eating Zexion’s hair
Axel and Demyx: Wow…
Zexion: I hate all of you.
“Hey stop it! That’s my hair you know! OW! And it’s attached to my head!” so the lama stopped for a minute and then spit in Zexion’s face (poor poor Zexion) “EWW! Lama spit!” and then it started eating his hair again
Zexion: *shell shocked*
Axel and Demyx: AHHH HA HA HA HA HA!
Zexion: *begins to scribble furiously in a small journal he pulled from his pocket*
Axel: Whatcha doin?
Zexion: Nothing that involves plans to make you and Demyx suffer.
Axel: Uh huh… But you know. It’s still not done.
Zexion: What’s worse than being spit on by a Llama?
Demyx: One with halitosis?
Zexion: *glare*
Demyx: *shrinks into chair*
Axel: Nope.
“Hey! I told you to stop it! Only Larxene can mess up my hair!” but Zexion didn’t notice that Demyx and Xemnas had been standing there the whole time. (DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!!!!!!! lol)
Zexion: *air turns dark around Zexion*
Xemnas:*is shocked himself*
Axel: Told ya.
Demyx: Oh no! You’re secret crush has been fund out!
Zexion: *stands in front of Demyx* I’m not a fighter, but I will KILL you DEAD!
Axel: *snort*
That same moment
“Oh really?” Demyx said with his arms crossed
Axel: 'That same moment' what?
Demyx: *whispers to himself on the screen* Don’t make him angry right now…
“oh great the annoying nocturne” he said as he turned around to face him
Zexion: *turns to agree with himself*
Demyx: *sneaks over to sit by Axel while Zexion is distracted*
Xemnas: It appears the period thief has struck again. And this time they stole the authors shift buttons too it seems.
“what happened to your hair?” the superior asked “Demyx’s stupid lama was chewing on it!” Zexion said trying to fix his hair
Xemnas: Back to superior?
Axel: Wait. Wait one moment! How does he know it’s Demyx’s Llama?
Demyx: What?
Axel: The author specifically stated that Zexion is the only one who doesn’t know about the llama, and now he suddenly knows. He may be a schemer but I don’t think he’s freaking Sherlock Holmes!
Zexion: I hate you too traitor.
“I see and then you said only Larxene could mess up your hair correct?” Demyx said trying to talk like Superior
Axel: But he fails miserably since Xemnas doesn’t talk that way anyway.
Demyx: I tried.
Xemnas: Never do it again.
“yes” Zexion grumbled “AWWW! Is she your witle girl fwend now?” Demyx said sarcastically
Axel: AHHH HA HA HA!!! That’s great! She’s got you baby talking!
Demyx: *conjures water to dump on Axel’s head*
Axel: *steams* *literally*
Xemnas: *trying yet again to remain stoic*
“SHUT UP! YOU MEDIOCER SITAR PLAYER!” he shouted
Axel: *still wet* You tell him!
Zexion: I still hate you.
Demyx: Hey… I’m really good.
“mediocre? HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY GREAT SITAR SKILLS!!” now Demyx was mad insulting Demyx’s music is like insulting the Superior you just don’t do it
Xemnas: It would appear the period thief ran rampant in this one.
Demyx: It sounds like she’s saying I was insulting myself.
Zexion: That wouldn’t be hard.
Demyx: *fume*
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” a female voice shouted from down the hall “uh oh” all three of them said. Larxene stormed down the hall her eye’s set on Demyx “IM TRYING TO READ!! AND ZEXION‘S RIGHT ONLY I CAN MESS UP HIS HAIR YOU DUMB LAMA!”
Demyx: Did she just call me a llama?
Zexion: Are…? Is…?
Axel: It would appear the love is mutual. Bow chika bow wow.
Zexion: I will make you pay.
Xemnas: Why am I saying uh oh? I’m not afraid of Larxene.
every one was shocked there was a great silence for a moment but was soon broken by the lama starting to chew on Zexion’s hair again “I said stop!” he walked over beside Larxene trying to escape the lama’s reach.
Axel: That was a long ass sentence.
Zexion: I would NOT hide behind Larxene.
“Well this has been an interesting morning. Every one down stairs in the lunch hall for waffles” superior said walking down the stairs.
Xemnas: …
Axel: Xemnas making waffles?
Xemnas: *stands up* CURsed FOOLS!!!
Axel: Oh shit! He’s pissed!
Axel, Demyx, Zexion: *ducks*
Xemnas: *red lasers shoot everywhere demolishing a portion of the theater amazingly sparing the screen and thankfully sparing the concession stand*
Axel: *sits up* Ok. looks like he’s done.
Xemnas: *looks calm and cool like nothing happened*
Demyx: Scary.
“YAY WAFFLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!” said the disturbingly giddy Demyx bouncing down the stairs like a five year old
Axel: So is that.
Demyx: I’m not that childish! Augh! I still hate you Jiminy!
Axel: You know. It’s just your bad fighting rep that’s his fault. Not your childishness.
Demyx: I’m still blaming him!
“okay…”
Zexion: Who’s speaking right here?
Axel: I don’t know. A shadow?
Demyx: The author?
Xemnas: Shut up. It’s almost over! I want to leave.
so every one went down stairs to have waffles… even the lama.
Authors note shows with bye bye spelt bi-bi
Xemnas: I’m going to go find someone else to do this! *opens a portal and leaves*
Zexion: I’m going to go and put the finishing touches on these plans to make your lives miserable. *opens his own portal and leaves*
Axel: Hmm.
Demyx: Are you worried?
Axel: Nah. Let’s go get some more popcorn. And soda. I’m thirsty.
Demyx: I can take care of that. *pours more water on Axel*
Axel: I’m going to kill you. Lucky you, my need for food overcomes my need to cause you bodily harm. Let’s go.
Both exit the theater.
Chapter 3, 4, 5 and 6 are up.