♋ ACT IV > COMMAND YOUR LOYAL SUBORDINATES

[kinda_crabby]

[ A - ACTION | POST OFFICE - ]

[Karkat has recently visited the post office, but only after getting into a heated debate with his household's mailbox and its red tilty lever doodad--and, later, bitching at the postman himself about the stupidity and barbaric dumbness of the mail system in general

Comments

[Phone]

[ergaleomancer]

[[Theta can't help but laugh, but it's a good natured sort of laugh...mostly.]]

Better than home~?

[kinda_crabby]

WHAT DO YOU THINK, FUCKASS?

[ergaleomancer]

[[Snarl.]] There's no need to be foul about it.

[Action]

[shoeofbaileys]

[Incredible. You've managed to even kind of seem bizarre and absurd to a horrifying, freaky fish man. He's just staring at you for a moment Karkat. Oh. And he's carrying a full grown man mounted on a plaque like a fish under his arm. Nothing weird there, right?]

That ain't how you kiss no dog.

[kinda_crabby]

Oh, great, just what I need. The entirety of the village's freakshow compiled into one bizarre individual criticizing something I'm not trying to do.

[shoeofbaileys]

Old Gregg ain't no freak. You a freak, not knowing how to properly romance no dog.

Look at those stubby little horns. Look at that shit. They all don't make no sense, freakboy.

[kinda_crabby]

Uh.

What the Hell are you.

A

[justice_smells]

[She still has those functioning eyes, but Terezi is also looking a lot more familiarly trollish.]

Karkat, you...

You CHEAT.

[kinda_crabby]

DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT'S WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I'D SAY "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE" BUT THAT ISN'T EVEN WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

[justice_smells]

Nonsense! I can smell the scandal. My lusus warned me you were a heartbreaker, Karkat Vantas!

[kinda_crabby]

I am willing to bet your lusus said nothing even remotely like that!

A

[wolf_faerie]

[brb loling]

That just means he likes you!

[kinda_crabby]

Make this thing like me less! Can't you commune with it or something?

[wolf_faerie]

Commune...? Well, if you don't want him to bother you, I'll tell him.

[Goes over to pull the dog off him.]

[kinda_crabby]

Good! Next time you won't get off so easily, human beast! Only a select few are allowed to slobber on my face like that!

A

[realitywarping]

[Wow, this is kinda hilarious. Jade can't help but laugh. She notices that he looks like a troll again, too, but that can wait for a little bit with the more hilarious things going on here.]

I think the dog likes you, Karkat!

[kinda_crabby]

THAT'S NOT A SENTIMENT I SHARE. YOU HAD ONE OF THESE THINGS, RIGHT? COMMUNICATE WITH IT AND TELL IT TO STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME INTO ITS MATESPRIT. THIS IS HORRIBLE.

[realitywarping]

I think you're being a little overdramatic! It just wants to be your friend.

[kinda_crabby]

This is not how you make friends on my planet! Is this how you and Egbert and the rest became friends? Face slobberings?