♋ ACT IV > COMMAND YOUR LOYAL SUBORDINATES

[kinda_crabby]

[ A - ACTION | POST OFFICE - ]

[Karkat has recently visited the post office, but only after getting into a heated debate with his household's mailbox and its red tilty lever doodad--and, later, bitching at the postman himself about the stupidity and barbaric dumbness of the mail system in general

Comments

A

[realitywarping]

[Wow, this is kinda hilarious. Jade can't help but laugh. She notices that he looks like a troll again, too, but that can wait for a little bit with the more hilarious things going on here.]

I think the dog likes you, Karkat!

[kinda_crabby]

THAT'S NOT A SENTIMENT I SHARE. YOU HAD ONE OF THESE THINGS, RIGHT? COMMUNICATE WITH IT AND TELL IT TO STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME INTO ITS MATESPRIT. THIS IS HORRIBLE.

[realitywarping]

I think you're being a little overdramatic! It just wants to be your friend.

[kinda_crabby]

This is not how you make friends on my planet! Is this how you and Egbert and the rest became friends? Face slobberings?

[realitywarping]

No, we didn't become friends like that! Dogs are just different than humans.

[kinda_crabby]

The only dogbeast I'm familiar with is yours and I'm pretty damn sure it's not a very good sample to judge normal dog behavior by, so all I know so far is that they lick people and shit everywhere.

[realitywarping]

They do a lot more than that, too! They like to play with people.

[But... :/ Okay fine, she'll whistle to get the dog's attention.]

[kinda_crabby]

Does this 'playing' ever involve tearing people limb-from-limb?

[realitywarping]

Not really!

[kinda_crabby]

Not going to lie here: human beasts seem kind of boring, Jade.

[realitywarping]

Well, they're not! What are troll animals like?

[kinda_crabby]

Fucking crazy. You wouldn't be able to handle it if you ran into a lusus. Seriously, you wouldn't know what to do with yourself.

[realitywarping]

How do you know?

[kinda_crabby]

Because I know these things! I thought the fact that I know things and you don't would have been common knowledge by now. Just take my word for it.