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I don't know what to do...
I don't know what to do ( Read more... ) -
Go Figure
Go figure that I'd be the one to get in a massive argument/fight with their mother on mother's day. Just really, like it would be me. And of course everything is always my fault in my house. God forbid my dog has allergies and it's allergy season, all that's my fault to because I can control all that.
Look lady, I can't even control my own life ( Read more... ) -
Ack
I actually cannot handle what is going on with my life right now.
Having anxiety attacks and getting overwhelmed by everything is not a fun way to live.
I'm having so much anxiety right now and nobody gets it. Most of all the person who really doesn't get it is the one I most wasn't to be able to rely on but I keep finding out that he finds these ( Read more... ) -
Bad nights like this
/I’m having a bad night.
Bad mood.
Angry and annoyed. Mostly by my mother, but by other things. She's lost my W2 from the college and so now she can't do my taxes, even though when I told her if she just left my things together I'd do it but she said no, no, I'll keep them all together and do my taxes at the same time. But nope, she's gone and lost ( Read more... ) -
Holidays
And people always wonder why I hate the holidays...
Between my mother telling me she regrets loving me and getting yelled at by the boyfriend.... Holidays really haven't been so nice to me for years.
So yeah... not a fan of holidays. Not enjoying this time of year and seasonal depression really kicking me. -
Accomplishment
I feel very accomplished for having finished my first solo cosplay project. ^_^ I patterned and sewed this whole thing without much help (a friend helped me plan and cut some stuff). And I'm just... so proud of this. *squee* *>.<* The skirt is a little off center here, but it was just a test to make sure all my snaps lined up! (They did :D) The ( Read more... ) -
I feel like I can't talk to anyone...
It's more like I can't convince myself to talk to anyone because I'm convinced it doesn't matter to them or they don't care and I'm really struggling with feelings of abandonment right now, for no good reason. But instead of doing anything about it I sit here and just struggle with my feelings of inadequacy which are not aided by my inability to ( Read more... ) -
Aw Hell...
So I just nearly had a breakdown over the stupid difference between the use of next week and next weekend as opposed to using this week or this weekend...
Just goes to show you what my mental state is right now if that is enough to make me nearly cry because it just adds to how frustrated I already am.
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Jobs. ugh.
I'm getting so frustrated. I apply to all these jobs and attempt to follow up and make contact or otherwise make myself known to those hiring.
I write a new cover letter for each, highlight my skills and abilities, and I'm clear that I want to relocate to the area but I need a position to do so.
And nothing. No calls. No emails. Nothing. And it's ( Read more... ) -
not far off
I feel guilty and heavy and like a letdown...
Like I am the thing other people are disappointed by.
And that's not far off.