post of woe

[kettunainen]

*I have fucked up my back to such a degree as to not be able to hold Aidan for any length of time

Comments

[roxy_fondue]

i feel SO BAD that the SC forgot about you. when i asked C about it on wednesday, she looked really upset that she had forgotten. just know it was an honest mistake, and that we love you around here. and, oh yeah, aidan was a huge hit! IMHO, the cutest baby yet :)

[alexisyael]

I've had two friends who have had serious PP depression IRL (not counting R, who also had it terribly, but while I've met her, I didn't see her every day during it). It is real. Horribly, awfully, real. Doesn't sound like you have it.

(One friend had PPD + PPAnxiety + PTSD. Lovely combination, eh? It was bad. I was very worried about her.)

[kettunainen]

oh I know it's real. I'm not debating that in the slightest. I just don't want people discounting the difficulties I'm experiencing (which is what damn near every new mother goes through to some degree or another) because it's "just the hormones". Like people discounting a woman's bitchiness at the state of things because "it's that time of the month".

[alexisyael]

Right. I agree with that completely. And also our culture is SO FUCKED UP, how can a new mom help but go through some form of PPD just on the basis of how completely un-mom/baby dyad friendly this culture is?

Oy. I could go on...

[mightydoll]

hear hear.

[kettunainen]

i know, i know.

and I know I have it MUCH easier than many many many women, including yourself, and it's STILL hard.

I was too tired/frazzled to go out, nut didn't want to be left alone at home either.

this is SO me right now. and other stuff.

[mightydoll]

dude, new moms totally get rejected...*sigh* PPD is a lot more than a handful of vague symptoms, and it is caused by both hormones AND external circumstance in most cases.

Your source also fails to note that genuine PPD - as a medical disorder, rather than just "baby blues" which seems to be more what's described here rears it's ugly head, on average, at 7 months postpartum.

At any rate, you have lots of valid reasons for feeling like shit, but that doesn't change the fact that you feel like shit. The new baby isolation is really no fun.

We don't throw any big parties or anything, but my house is ALWAYS baby friendly. I'll add you to my mostly imaginary invite list. Tonight we're having some folks over for some poker n' cocktails. You'd be more than welcome to come play, or just come bask in the glow of other people. :)

[kettunainen]

yeah, i know I didn't cite properly, nor did I include all the info they had on the site. oh well. I was basically just looking for a laundry list to check off to quell the concerned friends who haven't gone through this before.

and why the hell don't people talk about the rejection new moms face??? why are we not properly prepared for all the shit we have to go through, on top of caring for a new baby? our society is cracked.

thanks for the invite. it's enough, right now, to know where I'm welcome with Aidan and where I'm not. That's another thing I have to parse now: who are my friends now that I have a squawking mini-me? *shudder*

[tamago23]

You know you're always welcome here, my dear. <3

[lepke]

you are always welcome here too! (and i'm always willing to go to you!)

[lepke]

hmm, sounds like i have ppd...ha ha...kidding. jesus, it's like the line in girl interrupted when wynona is describing borderline personality disorder...she says "oh, thats me" and angelina says "sweetpea, thats everybody"

anything you need me to pick up before i come over tomorrow? you still up for a visitor?

[kettunainen]

definitely still up for a visitor -- especially you! can't think of anything you could bring. oh, and I'm TOTALLY enjoying the book you got me for my bday. :-) thank you!

[lepke]

yay!