Cheeseburgers and Pie (Chapter 19)
Once inside, Dean stays close to Castiel while Balthazar wanders off to find the open bar. Dean whistles as he scans the room, “the perks of being a big shot doctor, huh?”
Castiel blushes slightly but nods, taking in the grandeur as well, “it has its benefits, on rare occasions.” A man from across the room catches Castiel’s eye and waves them over. “I apologize, I’ll probably be speaking with a lot of coworkers and members of my field, I wouldn’t be offended if you left early.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it. I think what you’re doing is really interesting. I looked you up online last night and read a little bit.” Castiel’s throat forms another lump in it at the thought of Dean researching him, “besides, when have you ever known me to turn down free drinks?” Dean winks at him as they take the last few steps towards the tall bald man.
“Castiel!” The man calls and pulls Castiel into a firm handshake, “how have you been?”
“Uriel,” Castiel nods once Uriel had let him go. “Well, how about yourself?’
“Well, indeed.” Uriel is about to say more when Dean shifts slightly next to Castiel and catches his eye, “Who’s your friend?”
“Uriel, this is Dean Winchester,” Castiel motions back and forth between them, “Dean, Uriel used to be on my research team back at the university.”
“Pleasure,” Uriel says as a smirk curls his lip.
“Used to be huh? What’s the matter, couldn’t keep up.” Dean jabs. Castiel winces internally but Uriel just throws his head back and laughs heartily.
“Oh, I like this one Castiel.” Uriel calms down and shakes his head, “no I’m afraid I couldn’t. Not many can with Castiel you know. But, they saw an opening out here in California and sent me packing. I was surprised Castiel didn’t take the offer, I would have thought you’d like to get out of Kansas.”
“I was in the middle of a breakthrough.” Castiel mumbles uncomfortably.
“Hmm, yes, you always seemed to be ‘in the middle of a ‘breakthrough’ back in those days.” Uriel says calmly, but with a sharp edge. Castiel feels Dean bristle next to him, obviously sensing the tension between them but Uriel shrugs it away and plasters on a winning smile, “it was good to meet you Dean, Castiel, tell Balthazar I said hello, would you?” Castiel nods and watches Uriel walk away.
“Dude, that guy was a total dick.” Castiel nods his head in agreement.
“After we broke up, Uriel did always seem to hold it against me.” Dean turns to him, eyes wide in shock.
“You two? You and dick for brains dated.” Castiel nods again.
“It was a long time ago.” Dean must have heard the tension in his voice because he doesn’t question Castiel further. They go around and make their way across the floor to the bar, stopping every so often to say hello to a coworker. Castiel is impressed by the way Dean holds his own against the swarm of doctors, everyone he meets seems to be instantly won over by the Winchester charm. A warm feeling in Castiel’s chest grows steadily with each encounter. When they finally make it to the bar, Dean turns on his stool to face Castiel, who is looking out at the crowd and watching a man spin his friend Rachel around on the dance floor.
“Your friends are nice, Cas.” Dean says honestly as the bartender wanders over to take their order.
Castiel nods and smiles, “yes, they have their moments.” Dean smiles widely at that. Castiel turns to face the bartender, “Jack and coke please.”
Dean’s eyebrows rise slightly at Castiel but he nods, “the same.” The bartender begins to work on their order and Dean leans closer to Castiel, “since when do you drink Jack by choice?”
Since you left, Castiel’s brain supplies, but he brushes the feeling off with a small smile, “it’s been a while. Being a doctor is trying at the best of times.”
Dean seems to accept this answer and thanks the man for their drinks before swiveling around to face the dancing himself. He takes a long sip and turns to Castiel who has already finished his glass. “Whoa, might wanna slow down there.”
Castiel shrugs absently, not if I have to spend all night looking at you. Castiel places his empty glass on the bar and the bartender hands him another drink. Someone else in the crowd catches his eye and waves him over. “Excuse me, Dean. I’ll be right back.” Dean nods and watches him leave.
Just as Castiel is out of sight, Balthazar slips onto the bar stool beside Dean. “Hello, Dean.”
Dean tenses, “Hello.”
“Dean, I am here to apologize for last night.” Dean huffs softly and takes another large drink. “I was trying to help Castiel.” Dean gives him a suspicious look but Balthazar holds up a hand, to stop any words that might cut him off, “I was, hear me out. I don’t know what’s gone on between the two of you since we got into town, but please. You need to stop all of this.” Balthazar motions his hand at Dean’s form. “It’s driving Cassie insane.”
“What are you talking about?” Dean says, pulling back defensively.
“You need to either tell him everything, or leave him alone.” Balthazar says calmly.
“What do you mean, ‘everything?’” Dean swallows hard around the lump in his throat.
“Tell him about ten years ago, tell him about how you still like him, hell tell him about how much you’d like to ride his pretty little ass tonight, I don’t give a damn, just talk to him.” Dean’s heart speeds up and he waits for Balthazar to finish, sure that his ass is about to be handed to him. “I want him to be happy, and right now he’s too busy worrying about friend-zoning you to realize you’ve been staring at him like a lioness stares at her pray for the past two days.”
“What are you saying here?” Dean’s brain can’t really catch up with what Balthazar’s saying, because it sounds a lot like ‘please go profess your undying love to my boyfriend’ and Dean may be desperate, but he’s never been a homewrecker.
“Please, go talk to Castiel.” Balthazar gets up to leave but turns back towards Dean, “if I have to come back here and drag you out to him I will.”
“But, hold on!” Dean grabs Balthazar’s wrist to stop him from retreating, “aren’t you and Cas like, together?”
Balthazar throws his head back and nearly falls to the floor with the force of his laughter. He steadies himself after a moment and wipes the tears from his eyes, “Oh God no! He wishes.” Balthazar smiles but goes serious when he sees the doubt in Dean’s eyes, “No, Dean. Castiel is single and ready to mingle, so I suggest getting your Ken doll ass out there and strut your stuff before Castiel finds another eligible bachelor to take home tonight.” At those words he shakes Dean’s grip from his wrist and disappears into the crowd.
Dean stands there for a moment while he processes what he’d just heard. In other circumstance, he’d go after Balthazar and snap at him for being such a dick, but all he can think about is finding Castiel and doing exactly as Balthazar asks.
The problem is finding Castiel. The ballroom has become even more crowded since Castiel left him and as he winds his way through the crowd he gets more and more discouraged. He looks through the faces for nearly half an hour before giving up and going back to the bar. He waits there another forty-five minutes before he hears familiar laughter coming towards him. Dean turns on the stool to find an obviously drunk Castiel, arm slung around a guy Dean hasn’t met yet, empty glass in his hand.
“Oh! Dean!” Castiel calls as he falls forward into Dean’s arms, “have you met Eric? He’s really funny, just like you!” Castiel is beaming up at him but Dean can’t stop glaring at ‘Eric’ who is slowly backing away under the threat of Dean’s eyes. Castiel pushes himself up out of Dean’s grasp and scowls, “you scared him away!”
“Cas,” Dean says softly, trying to calm him down.
“I thought you left you know. You weren’t here when I got back and I thought you left.” There’s a few tears in Castiel’s eyes now.
“Cas, come on, let’s get out of here,” Dean offers out a hand to Castiel but Castiel recoils quickly.
“Don't,” Castiel says, face serious and voice dark. The crowd around them has taken note and Dean is starting to get a little embarrassed at the scene Castiel is making.
“Cas, please,” Dean steps forward again, and Castiel trips, but Dean lunges forward and catches him. Castiel wriggles in his arms but Dean holds him tight.
“Let me go, Dean!” Castiel growls before whipping his head around blindly and smacking it into Dean’s cheek. Dean almost drops him out of spite, but holds fast. Castiel calms down instantly, but it’s mostly due to the force of the impact. He’s drunk and making a fool of himself, Castiel knows this, but he’d been so mad at Dean because he thought he’d left. Again. Castiel hangs his head in shame and lets Dean lead them out to the car. They drive back to the hotel in silence, Castiel presses the growing lump on his head to the cool glass. He lets Dean valet the car and walk him up to his room, but there’s a growing tension between them. He’s not sure what it is but it makes him angry. As soon as they’re safely inside of the room, Castiel slams the door and turns on Dean.
“What gives you the right to drag me out of there?” Dean turns and faces him, confusion plastered over his face.
“I was just trying to help.” Dean offers weakly.
“Help? Why would you want to help me, Dean? Is this weekend some kind of penance for you?” Castiel steps forward, swaying slightly, Dean reaches out for him but Castiel bats his hand away, “I don’t need your help, Dean!”
“Well excuse me, almighty Castiel!” Dean’s voice is raised in defensive anger, “excuse me for trying to make up for not being there for you!”
“And whose fault is what Dean? Hmm?” Castiel raises his eyebrows expectantly. “I didn’t ask for you to come back into my life! All I did was drop my car off at your garage! You’re the one who keeps asking me to do things with you, you’re the one who won’t leave me alone!”
Dean swallows audibly, a low click in the dead silence, “You could have said no! You didn’t have to let me back in. You want this just as much as I do Castiel so don’t you try to deny it.”
Castiel bristles up and laughs indignantly, “Right, I want this just as much as you, because no one can resist the Great Dean Winchester!” Dean flinches back and Castiel knows he’s cut deep with his last comment but he’s too angry to care right now. Ten years of unsaid words and emotions are rushing back to him and he can’t stop if he wants to. “Just because you had me wrapped around your little finger ten years ago doesn’t give you the right to barge into my life. Things are different now Dean.” No they aren’t.
“I know! I know, okay?” Dean sinks down on the bed and buries his face in his hands. “I fucked up.” Castiel is taken aback, he’d expected more yelling, not just for Dean to give in like this. He doesn’t have anything prepared for this, he’d never thought Dean would admit to being wrong.
“What?” Castiel whispers as he stands stock still in front of Dean.
“Look, I should have, I don’t know.” Dean gets up again and paces over to the window, “I should have tried to call. Well, no, I mean, I did try. I tried my private line, that’s the only number I had, but it was disconnected.”
“We pulled it out a couple days after you left. We couldn’t pay the phone company.” Castiel supplies quietly.
“Yeah, well, I mean I guess I could have tried to leave something with the college but, I just didn’t think about it.” Dean turns back and leans against the wall, hands in his pockets in a defeated gesture, “I didn’t really think much about anything for a while there.”
The buzz has officially worn off and Castiel is at a loss for words, he’s not sure what Dean’s trying to tell him, but he’s pretty sure it’s the answer to the question that’s racked his brain for the past ten years, so he finally asks it, “why?”
Dean pulls a hand out from one of his pockets and rubs it over his face, “that night, the night that we -” Dean cuts himself off to gesture between the two of them, Castiel nods encouragingly and Dean takes another deep breath, “in the middle of the night Sam called me. Our dad -” Castiel can hear Dean struggling with the words but he doesn’t say anything, “our dad was in an accident. He’d been driving all day trying to pull a double job. He’d been doing that a lot, trying to keep up with the bills and putting money away for Sammy. He just got too tired and fell off the road. Head on collision with a tree. He was in the hospital for a couple weeks but, he’d suffered too much trauma and in the end, we couldn’t afford to keep him on life support.” Dean makes it to the end of his story before sniffling silently and wiping his face again. Castiel can’t see in the dim light, but he knows Dean’s crying.
“You should have called,” is all Castiel can manage.
Dean laughs wryly, “yeah, I know, Cas.”
“I was so alone after you left, I couldn’t talk to anyone, it just, it hurt too much.” Castiel settles down at the edge of the bed and stares at the carpet in front of his feet. “After everything -” He tries to tell Dean how it felt like losing his mother again, how he’d sunk into a depression and tried everything to pull himself out of it. How he’d almost flunked out of med school because he’d met a pharmacy student who helped him get hooked on his own special blend of pain medication. He tries, but all he can get out is a small sob.
“You can’t have any idea how sorry I am.” Castiel is still staring at the carpet but he feels the bed sink slightly as Dean settles next to him. “Cas, you meant so much to me, I never meant to put you through this.”
“But you did,” Castiel whispers bitterly.
“I know,” Dean whispers back, scooting himself closer to Castiel and breathing softly on his neck, “please, let me make it up to you.” Castiel sighs as Dean nuzzles into his neck. He shouldn’t let Dean do this. He should stand up right now and make Dean leave, thank him for escorting him home, order as much room service as he can and bury himself in crap television. He should, but he doesn’t. Instead he hums as Dean nips at his neck above his collar and slides a hand over his chest to undo Castiel’s tie and start working on his shirt buttons. Dean works swiftly, or Castiel’s brain is slowing down, he’s not sure which, but when Dean pushes his shirt down his arms Castiel is caught off guard by the chill of the air conditioning. He gasps quickly as Dean moves his attention from Castiel’s neck to his collarbone while pulling himself on top of Castiel’s lap. Dean runs his calloused fingers over Castiel’s skin and it causes him to shudder quietly. His breath hitches when Dean’s fingers find a nipple. Dean smiles against the skin of Castiel’s chest and rubs into it, not hard, but firm enough to cause a low groan to escape Castiel’s lips.
“You always were noisy,” Dean teases slipping down to the floor and biting the skin at the center of Castiel’s breastbone. Castiel growls in response and takes the back of Dean’s head by a fistful of hair and crashes their mouths together. It’s not an elegant kiss by any means, but it leaves them both panting. Dean grabs Castiel by the knees and pulls him forwards to the edge of the bed. He presses his mouth to the outline of Castiel’s erection and stays there breathing for a few moments, collecting himself from the fog of arousal. The heat and moisture from Dean’s mouth is incredible, causing Castiel to go even harder and involuntarily thrust up to create some kind of friction between them. Dean palms Castiel through the fabric with one hand while undoing his slacks with the other. In one motion, Dean lifts Castiel an inch or two off the bed and pulls down his pants and underwear to his knees. Castiel gasps at the relief on the pressure off of his swollen cock, but instantly misses the heat of Dean’s hand. He toes off his shoes quickly while forcing his clothing all the way to the floor. When his legs are free he wraps them around the backs of Dean’s thighs and brings them close together again. Castiel is instantly frustrated that his skin doesn’t meet Dean’s but then he remembers that Dean’s still fully clothed. He brings his arms around from where they’d been holding him on the bed and pushes off Dean’s suit jacket. Dean gets the hint and joins Castiel in undoing the buttons on his shirt. They both turn their attention to their cuffs at the same time and in unison toss their shirts aside. Dean reaches out with warm hands and presses their bodies together, forcing Castiel’s dick in between their exposed stomachs. Castiel whimpers softly at the contact and Dean groans low against Castiel’s shoulder. Castiel pushes Dean back to the floor and wraps a hand in his hair.
“You said you would make this up to me. So do it.” Castiel commands. Dean smirks teasingly up at Castiel and presses a kiss to his inner thigh, close enough to Castiel’s groin for the stubble along Dean’s chin to brush against the side of his length. Castiel breaths in sharply and Dean hums against his skin, kissing his way in between Castiel’s legs and putting his hands on Castiel’s knees, spreading his legs as wide as he can. He licks once at the base of Castiel’s twitching cock and takes a hand and wraps it around the wetness. Dean brings his mouth to the head of Castiel’s cock and licks once more tasting him, before opening his mouth and taking Castiel in just past the head. Castiel groans at the heat of Dean’ mouth, Dean presses his tongue flat against the head and rolls it back and forth. Castiel’s breath hitches and his elbows almost give out, forcing him to grab a fist full of Dean’s hair to keep steady. Dean growls around Castiel’s dick and speeds up. He takes his hand off the base of Castiel’s cock and brings his head down lower, taking more of him in, while sucking and licking all at the same time. The contact is too much and Castiel can feel his knees shaking under Dean’s firm grip. Castiel rolls his head forward and watches with wide eyes as Dean takes his entire length into his mouth and sucks hard once, twice, and then groans deeply, the vibrations shooting up Castiel’s shaft and adding to the already painful need that is working its way through his body. Castiel is breathing heavily and he knows its just a matter of time. He grips Dean’s hair tighter as a form of warning and Dean works him faster and sucks harder, hallowing out his cheeks and Castiel throws his head back and comes with a loud moan. Dean sucks him through his orgasm and when he pulls Castiel’s softening dick out of his mouth, Castiel leans forward and kisses him hard, licking at the corner of his mouth where a small drop of his own come had slipped out of Dean’s mouth, then spreads his tongue across Dean’s sharing the taste.
“Fuck,” Dean groans. Castiel smiles impishly and pulls Dean up from the floor and onto the bed.
“Don’t give up on me now cowboy, you’re just getting started.” Castiel whispers and he scoots them back onto the pillows. Dean groans low in his throat and grinds down against Castiel’s over sensitized cock. Castiel gasps loudly and looks up to find Dean smiling gently down at him. “Dean, fuck me.”
Dean’s head goes a little fuzzy and he swallows hard, “you’ve still got a mouth on you, you know that?” Castiel shrugs nonchalantly and Dean scoffs as he leans in to capture Castiel’s lips again. They kiss together for a moment, until Dean’s hips start moving against his own. Castiel reaches down to undo Dean’s pants but Dean stops him. “Hold on,” Dean straightens up and pulls his wallet out of his pocket, but something else flings across the bedspread. Castiel reaches out for it and finds his fingers touching soft fur. He grabs it and brings it close so he can examine it in the darkness. It’s the rabbit’s foot Castiel’s mother gave him, which he’d given to Dean. He kept it. He stares wide-eyed up at Dean who is sitting back on his heels. In the moonlight he thinks he can see a flush on Dean’s cheeks. “It works you know, I was wearing it the day your car was brought in.” Castiel can’t find the words so he just grabs Dean’s shoulder and plunges them into another deep kiss. They break and Dean goes back to fumbling in his wallet. “Fuck,” Dean whispers.
“What is it?” Castiel’s getting slightly impatient and he knows it’s showing in his tone.
“I can’t find a condom, Sam must have stolen my last one out of my wallet. Damnit!” Castiel’s face falls but then he shakes it away.
“I’m clean.” He blurts out.
“What?” Dean looks up at him in surprise.
“I’m clean. Are you clean?” Dean nods his head slowly. “Okay, so we’re both clean. Forget the condom and get down here or I swear to God I’ll kick you out right now.” Dean complies and grabs a packet of lube and tosses his wallet aside. Castiel unbuttons Dean’s pants and thrusts them down quickly, letting Dean work out of them the rest of the way while flicking his shoes off.
“How?” Dean gasps as Castiel bucks his hips up and brushes their cocks together.
“Like this Dean, just like this.” Dean nods and tears open the packet, slicking up three fingers and dropping his hands underneath Castiel as Castiel lifts his hips up to allow Dean better access. Castiel feels Dean’s warm fingers press tentatively at his hole and then he slips the first inside. Castiel gasps at the pressure but nods his head encouraging Dean to continue. Dean works Castiel slowly, reverently stretching and twisting, when the third finger goes in Dean starts scissoring them all at once, twisting them around and searching. Dean hits Castiel’s prostate after a moment and his whole body shudders. He groans low and Dean presses against it again, pulling a moan from deep within Castiel’s throat. “God, Dean, now.”
Dean complies silently and pulls his fingers out, Castiel almost whimpers at the lack of contact but holds himself together. He watches as Dean pours the last of the lube into his hand and works himself twice. Then he grabs Castiel by the hips and pulls him almost onto his lap. Castiel drops his feet to the bed outside of Dean’s legs and lifts up on the balls of his feet opening himself up for Dean. Dean moves forward and presses the head of his dick to Castiel’s entrance. “Dean. Now.” Castiel breathes. With a groan Dean pushes inside.
“Holy, fuck, Cas.” Dean breathes as he stills taking a moment to gather himself before pushing the rest of the way in. Castiel moans and then cries out as the head of Dean’s dick brushes against his prostate. “Cas, I can’t. I need, fuck.” Dean babbles and Castiel just nods enthusiastically, unable to form the words. Dean pulls out and slams back into him, slowly at first but then with building speed and intensity, he buries himself as deeply as he can in Castiel’s ass over and over again.
“God! Dean!” Castiel cries and can’t help but thrust his hips up in time with Dean and they build steadily together until they’re both reduced to cries and groans of each other’s names. Dean reaches up for Castiel’s cock, but Castiel just brushes his hand away, “No, Dean,” Castiel manages around his building orgasm, “I told you, like this. Just like this,” Dean groans on top of him and Castiel feels his elbows almost give out. It only takes a few more thrusts and Castiel is coming again, harder than ever before. As his orgasm rolls through him, Dean keeps thrusting, but he’s lost his rhythm he’s so close. Castiel pulls himself up on shaky arms and whispers in Dean’s ear, “now, Dean.” It’s all Dean needed and he crumples on top of Castiel with the force of his orgasm. They lay panting for a moment before Dean pulls himself out and lies down next to Castiel. Castiel turns to him and he sees the spark in Dean’s eyes again. It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Dean reaches down and pulls the covers up around them. Before he settles down to sleep, Castiel reaches out and grabs his bicep tight.
“You have to promise me one thing if you want to sleep here tonight,” Castiel says.
“Anything,” Dean answers as he tries to fight off sleep long enough to finish their conversation.
“Promise me you’ll be here when I wake up.” Castiel whispers as he settles in close, resting his head under Dean’s chins and wrapping their legs together.
“I promise.” Castiel lets out a sigh as Dean pulls him closer as they drift off to sleep.
Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Epilogue |
Castiel blushes slightly but nods, taking in the grandeur as well, “it has its benefits, on rare occasions.” A man from across the room catches Castiel’s eye and waves them over. “I apologize, I’ll probably be speaking with a lot of coworkers and members of my field, I wouldn’t be offended if you left early.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it. I think what you’re doing is really interesting. I looked you up online last night and read a little bit.” Castiel’s throat forms another lump in it at the thought of Dean researching him, “besides, when have you ever known me to turn down free drinks?” Dean winks at him as they take the last few steps towards the tall bald man.
“Castiel!” The man calls and pulls Castiel into a firm handshake, “how have you been?”
“Uriel,” Castiel nods once Uriel had let him go. “Well, how about yourself?’
“Well, indeed.” Uriel is about to say more when Dean shifts slightly next to Castiel and catches his eye, “Who’s your friend?”
“Uriel, this is Dean Winchester,” Castiel motions back and forth between them, “Dean, Uriel used to be on my research team back at the university.”
“Pleasure,” Uriel says as a smirk curls his lip.
“Used to be huh? What’s the matter, couldn’t keep up.” Dean jabs. Castiel winces internally but Uriel just throws his head back and laughs heartily.
“Oh, I like this one Castiel.” Uriel calms down and shakes his head, “no I’m afraid I couldn’t. Not many can with Castiel you know. But, they saw an opening out here in California and sent me packing. I was surprised Castiel didn’t take the offer, I would have thought you’d like to get out of Kansas.”
“I was in the middle of a breakthrough.” Castiel mumbles uncomfortably.
“Hmm, yes, you always seemed to be ‘in the middle of a ‘breakthrough’ back in those days.” Uriel says calmly, but with a sharp edge. Castiel feels Dean bristle next to him, obviously sensing the tension between them but Uriel shrugs it away and plasters on a winning smile, “it was good to meet you Dean, Castiel, tell Balthazar I said hello, would you?” Castiel nods and watches Uriel walk away.
“Dude, that guy was a total dick.” Castiel nods his head in agreement.
“After we broke up, Uriel did always seem to hold it against me.” Dean turns to him, eyes wide in shock.
“You two? You and dick for brains dated.” Castiel nods again.
“It was a long time ago.” Dean must have heard the tension in his voice because he doesn’t question Castiel further. They go around and make their way across the floor to the bar, stopping every so often to say hello to a coworker. Castiel is impressed by the way Dean holds his own against the swarm of doctors, everyone he meets seems to be instantly won over by the Winchester charm. A warm feeling in Castiel’s chest grows steadily with each encounter. When they finally make it to the bar, Dean turns on his stool to face Castiel, who is looking out at the crowd and watching a man spin his friend Rachel around on the dance floor.
“Your friends are nice, Cas.” Dean says honestly as the bartender wanders over to take their order.
Castiel nods and smiles, “yes, they have their moments.” Dean smiles widely at that. Castiel turns to face the bartender, “Jack and coke please.”
Dean’s eyebrows rise slightly at Castiel but he nods, “the same.” The bartender begins to work on their order and Dean leans closer to Castiel, “since when do you drink Jack by choice?”
Since you left, Castiel’s brain supplies, but he brushes the feeling off with a small smile, “it’s been a while. Being a doctor is trying at the best of times.”
Dean seems to accept this answer and thanks the man for their drinks before swiveling around to face the dancing himself. He takes a long sip and turns to Castiel who has already finished his glass. “Whoa, might wanna slow down there.”
Castiel shrugs absently, not if I have to spend all night looking at you. Castiel places his empty glass on the bar and the bartender hands him another drink. Someone else in the crowd catches his eye and waves him over. “Excuse me, Dean. I’ll be right back.” Dean nods and watches him leave.
Just as Castiel is out of sight, Balthazar slips onto the bar stool beside Dean. “Hello, Dean.”
Dean tenses, “Hello.”
“Dean, I am here to apologize for last night.” Dean huffs softly and takes another large drink. “I was trying to help Castiel.” Dean gives him a suspicious look but Balthazar holds up a hand, to stop any words that might cut him off, “I was, hear me out. I don’t know what’s gone on between the two of you since we got into town, but please. You need to stop all of this.” Balthazar motions his hand at Dean’s form. “It’s driving Cassie insane.”
“What are you talking about?” Dean says, pulling back defensively.
“You need to either tell him everything, or leave him alone.” Balthazar says calmly.
“What do you mean, ‘everything?’” Dean swallows hard around the lump in his throat.
“Tell him about ten years ago, tell him about how you still like him, hell tell him about how much you’d like to ride his pretty little ass tonight, I don’t give a damn, just talk to him.” Dean’s heart speeds up and he waits for Balthazar to finish, sure that his ass is about to be handed to him. “I want him to be happy, and right now he’s too busy worrying about friend-zoning you to realize you’ve been staring at him like a lioness stares at her pray for the past two days.”
“What are you saying here?” Dean’s brain can’t really catch up with what Balthazar’s saying, because it sounds a lot like ‘please go profess your undying love to my boyfriend’ and Dean may be desperate, but he’s never been a homewrecker.
“Please, go talk to Castiel.” Balthazar gets up to leave but turns back towards Dean, “if I have to come back here and drag you out to him I will.”
“But, hold on!” Dean grabs Balthazar’s wrist to stop him from retreating, “aren’t you and Cas like, together?”
Balthazar throws his head back and nearly falls to the floor with the force of his laughter. He steadies himself after a moment and wipes the tears from his eyes, “Oh God no! He wishes.” Balthazar smiles but goes serious when he sees the doubt in Dean’s eyes, “No, Dean. Castiel is single and ready to mingle, so I suggest getting your Ken doll ass out there and strut your stuff before Castiel finds another eligible bachelor to take home tonight.” At those words he shakes Dean’s grip from his wrist and disappears into the crowd.
Dean stands there for a moment while he processes what he’d just heard. In other circumstance, he’d go after Balthazar and snap at him for being such a dick, but all he can think about is finding Castiel and doing exactly as Balthazar asks.
The problem is finding Castiel. The ballroom has become even more crowded since Castiel left him and as he winds his way through the crowd he gets more and more discouraged. He looks through the faces for nearly half an hour before giving up and going back to the bar. He waits there another forty-five minutes before he hears familiar laughter coming towards him. Dean turns on the stool to find an obviously drunk Castiel, arm slung around a guy Dean hasn’t met yet, empty glass in his hand.
“Oh! Dean!” Castiel calls as he falls forward into Dean’s arms, “have you met Eric? He’s really funny, just like you!” Castiel is beaming up at him but Dean can’t stop glaring at ‘Eric’ who is slowly backing away under the threat of Dean’s eyes. Castiel pushes himself up out of Dean’s grasp and scowls, “you scared him away!”
“Cas,” Dean says softly, trying to calm him down.
“I thought you left you know. You weren’t here when I got back and I thought you left.” There’s a few tears in Castiel’s eyes now.
“Cas, come on, let’s get out of here,” Dean offers out a hand to Castiel but Castiel recoils quickly.
“Don't,” Castiel says, face serious and voice dark. The crowd around them has taken note and Dean is starting to get a little embarrassed at the scene Castiel is making.
“Cas, please,” Dean steps forward again, and Castiel trips, but Dean lunges forward and catches him. Castiel wriggles in his arms but Dean holds him tight.
“Let me go, Dean!” Castiel growls before whipping his head around blindly and smacking it into Dean’s cheek. Dean almost drops him out of spite, but holds fast. Castiel calms down instantly, but it’s mostly due to the force of the impact. He’s drunk and making a fool of himself, Castiel knows this, but he’d been so mad at Dean because he thought he’d left. Again. Castiel hangs his head in shame and lets Dean lead them out to the car. They drive back to the hotel in silence, Castiel presses the growing lump on his head to the cool glass. He lets Dean valet the car and walk him up to his room, but there’s a growing tension between them. He’s not sure what it is but it makes him angry. As soon as they’re safely inside of the room, Castiel slams the door and turns on Dean.
“What gives you the right to drag me out of there?” Dean turns and faces him, confusion plastered over his face.
“I was just trying to help.” Dean offers weakly.
“Help? Why would you want to help me, Dean? Is this weekend some kind of penance for you?” Castiel steps forward, swaying slightly, Dean reaches out for him but Castiel bats his hand away, “I don’t need your help, Dean!”
“Well excuse me, almighty Castiel!” Dean’s voice is raised in defensive anger, “excuse me for trying to make up for not being there for you!”
“And whose fault is what Dean? Hmm?” Castiel raises his eyebrows expectantly. “I didn’t ask for you to come back into my life! All I did was drop my car off at your garage! You’re the one who keeps asking me to do things with you, you’re the one who won’t leave me alone!”
Dean swallows audibly, a low click in the dead silence, “You could have said no! You didn’t have to let me back in. You want this just as much as I do Castiel so don’t you try to deny it.”
Castiel bristles up and laughs indignantly, “Right, I want this just as much as you, because no one can resist the Great Dean Winchester!” Dean flinches back and Castiel knows he’s cut deep with his last comment but he’s too angry to care right now. Ten years of unsaid words and emotions are rushing back to him and he can’t stop if he wants to. “Just because you had me wrapped around your little finger ten years ago doesn’t give you the right to barge into my life. Things are different now Dean.” No they aren’t.
“I know! I know, okay?” Dean sinks down on the bed and buries his face in his hands. “I fucked up.” Castiel is taken aback, he’d expected more yelling, not just for Dean to give in like this. He doesn’t have anything prepared for this, he’d never thought Dean would admit to being wrong.
“What?” Castiel whispers as he stands stock still in front of Dean.
“Look, I should have, I don’t know.” Dean gets up again and paces over to the window, “I should have tried to call. Well, no, I mean, I did try. I tried my private line, that’s the only number I had, but it was disconnected.”
“We pulled it out a couple days after you left. We couldn’t pay the phone company.” Castiel supplies quietly.
“Yeah, well, I mean I guess I could have tried to leave something with the college but, I just didn’t think about it.” Dean turns back and leans against the wall, hands in his pockets in a defeated gesture, “I didn’t really think much about anything for a while there.”
The buzz has officially worn off and Castiel is at a loss for words, he’s not sure what Dean’s trying to tell him, but he’s pretty sure it’s the answer to the question that’s racked his brain for the past ten years, so he finally asks it, “why?”
Dean pulls a hand out from one of his pockets and rubs it over his face, “that night, the night that we -” Dean cuts himself off to gesture between the two of them, Castiel nods encouragingly and Dean takes another deep breath, “in the middle of the night Sam called me. Our dad -” Castiel can hear Dean struggling with the words but he doesn’t say anything, “our dad was in an accident. He’d been driving all day trying to pull a double job. He’d been doing that a lot, trying to keep up with the bills and putting money away for Sammy. He just got too tired and fell off the road. Head on collision with a tree. He was in the hospital for a couple weeks but, he’d suffered too much trauma and in the end, we couldn’t afford to keep him on life support.” Dean makes it to the end of his story before sniffling silently and wiping his face again. Castiel can’t see in the dim light, but he knows Dean’s crying.
“You should have called,” is all Castiel can manage.
Dean laughs wryly, “yeah, I know, Cas.”
“I was so alone after you left, I couldn’t talk to anyone, it just, it hurt too much.” Castiel settles down at the edge of the bed and stares at the carpet in front of his feet. “After everything -” He tries to tell Dean how it felt like losing his mother again, how he’d sunk into a depression and tried everything to pull himself out of it. How he’d almost flunked out of med school because he’d met a pharmacy student who helped him get hooked on his own special blend of pain medication. He tries, but all he can get out is a small sob.
“You can’t have any idea how sorry I am.” Castiel is still staring at the carpet but he feels the bed sink slightly as Dean settles next to him. “Cas, you meant so much to me, I never meant to put you through this.”
“But you did,” Castiel whispers bitterly.
“I know,” Dean whispers back, scooting himself closer to Castiel and breathing softly on his neck, “please, let me make it up to you.” Castiel sighs as Dean nuzzles into his neck. He shouldn’t let Dean do this. He should stand up right now and make Dean leave, thank him for escorting him home, order as much room service as he can and bury himself in crap television. He should, but he doesn’t. Instead he hums as Dean nips at his neck above his collar and slides a hand over his chest to undo Castiel’s tie and start working on his shirt buttons. Dean works swiftly, or Castiel’s brain is slowing down, he’s not sure which, but when Dean pushes his shirt down his arms Castiel is caught off guard by the chill of the air conditioning. He gasps quickly as Dean moves his attention from Castiel’s neck to his collarbone while pulling himself on top of Castiel’s lap. Dean runs his calloused fingers over Castiel’s skin and it causes him to shudder quietly. His breath hitches when Dean’s fingers find a nipple. Dean smiles against the skin of Castiel’s chest and rubs into it, not hard, but firm enough to cause a low groan to escape Castiel’s lips.
“You always were noisy,” Dean teases slipping down to the floor and biting the skin at the center of Castiel’s breastbone. Castiel growls in response and takes the back of Dean’s head by a fistful of hair and crashes their mouths together. It’s not an elegant kiss by any means, but it leaves them both panting. Dean grabs Castiel by the knees and pulls him forwards to the edge of the bed. He presses his mouth to the outline of Castiel’s erection and stays there breathing for a few moments, collecting himself from the fog of arousal. The heat and moisture from Dean’s mouth is incredible, causing Castiel to go even harder and involuntarily thrust up to create some kind of friction between them. Dean palms Castiel through the fabric with one hand while undoing his slacks with the other. In one motion, Dean lifts Castiel an inch or two off the bed and pulls down his pants and underwear to his knees. Castiel gasps at the relief on the pressure off of his swollen cock, but instantly misses the heat of Dean’s hand. He toes off his shoes quickly while forcing his clothing all the way to the floor. When his legs are free he wraps them around the backs of Dean’s thighs and brings them close together again. Castiel is instantly frustrated that his skin doesn’t meet Dean’s but then he remembers that Dean’s still fully clothed. He brings his arms around from where they’d been holding him on the bed and pushes off Dean’s suit jacket. Dean gets the hint and joins Castiel in undoing the buttons on his shirt. They both turn their attention to their cuffs at the same time and in unison toss their shirts aside. Dean reaches out with warm hands and presses their bodies together, forcing Castiel’s dick in between their exposed stomachs. Castiel whimpers softly at the contact and Dean groans low against Castiel’s shoulder. Castiel pushes Dean back to the floor and wraps a hand in his hair.
“You said you would make this up to me. So do it.” Castiel commands. Dean smirks teasingly up at Castiel and presses a kiss to his inner thigh, close enough to Castiel’s groin for the stubble along Dean’s chin to brush against the side of his length. Castiel breaths in sharply and Dean hums against his skin, kissing his way in between Castiel’s legs and putting his hands on Castiel’s knees, spreading his legs as wide as he can. He licks once at the base of Castiel’s twitching cock and takes a hand and wraps it around the wetness. Dean brings his mouth to the head of Castiel’s cock and licks once more tasting him, before opening his mouth and taking Castiel in just past the head. Castiel groans at the heat of Dean’ mouth, Dean presses his tongue flat against the head and rolls it back and forth. Castiel’s breath hitches and his elbows almost give out, forcing him to grab a fist full of Dean’s hair to keep steady. Dean growls around Castiel’s dick and speeds up. He takes his hand off the base of Castiel’s cock and brings his head down lower, taking more of him in, while sucking and licking all at the same time. The contact is too much and Castiel can feel his knees shaking under Dean’s firm grip. Castiel rolls his head forward and watches with wide eyes as Dean takes his entire length into his mouth and sucks hard once, twice, and then groans deeply, the vibrations shooting up Castiel’s shaft and adding to the already painful need that is working its way through his body. Castiel is breathing heavily and he knows its just a matter of time. He grips Dean’s hair tighter as a form of warning and Dean works him faster and sucks harder, hallowing out his cheeks and Castiel throws his head back and comes with a loud moan. Dean sucks him through his orgasm and when he pulls Castiel’s softening dick out of his mouth, Castiel leans forward and kisses him hard, licking at the corner of his mouth where a small drop of his own come had slipped out of Dean’s mouth, then spreads his tongue across Dean’s sharing the taste.
“Fuck,” Dean groans. Castiel smiles impishly and pulls Dean up from the floor and onto the bed.
“Don’t give up on me now cowboy, you’re just getting started.” Castiel whispers and he scoots them back onto the pillows. Dean groans low in his throat and grinds down against Castiel’s over sensitized cock. Castiel gasps loudly and looks up to find Dean smiling gently down at him. “Dean, fuck me.”
Dean’s head goes a little fuzzy and he swallows hard, “you’ve still got a mouth on you, you know that?” Castiel shrugs nonchalantly and Dean scoffs as he leans in to capture Castiel’s lips again. They kiss together for a moment, until Dean’s hips start moving against his own. Castiel reaches down to undo Dean’s pants but Dean stops him. “Hold on,” Dean straightens up and pulls his wallet out of his pocket, but something else flings across the bedspread. Castiel reaches out for it and finds his fingers touching soft fur. He grabs it and brings it close so he can examine it in the darkness. It’s the rabbit’s foot Castiel’s mother gave him, which he’d given to Dean. He kept it. He stares wide-eyed up at Dean who is sitting back on his heels. In the moonlight he thinks he can see a flush on Dean’s cheeks. “It works you know, I was wearing it the day your car was brought in.” Castiel can’t find the words so he just grabs Dean’s shoulder and plunges them into another deep kiss. They break and Dean goes back to fumbling in his wallet. “Fuck,” Dean whispers.
“What is it?” Castiel’s getting slightly impatient and he knows it’s showing in his tone.
“I can’t find a condom, Sam must have stolen my last one out of my wallet. Damnit!” Castiel’s face falls but then he shakes it away.
“I’m clean.” He blurts out.
“What?” Dean looks up at him in surprise.
“I’m clean. Are you clean?” Dean nods his head slowly. “Okay, so we’re both clean. Forget the condom and get down here or I swear to God I’ll kick you out right now.” Dean complies and grabs a packet of lube and tosses his wallet aside. Castiel unbuttons Dean’s pants and thrusts them down quickly, letting Dean work out of them the rest of the way while flicking his shoes off.
“How?” Dean gasps as Castiel bucks his hips up and brushes their cocks together.
“Like this Dean, just like this.” Dean nods and tears open the packet, slicking up three fingers and dropping his hands underneath Castiel as Castiel lifts his hips up to allow Dean better access. Castiel feels Dean’s warm fingers press tentatively at his hole and then he slips the first inside. Castiel gasps at the pressure but nods his head encouraging Dean to continue. Dean works Castiel slowly, reverently stretching and twisting, when the third finger goes in Dean starts scissoring them all at once, twisting them around and searching. Dean hits Castiel’s prostate after a moment and his whole body shudders. He groans low and Dean presses against it again, pulling a moan from deep within Castiel’s throat. “God, Dean, now.”
Dean complies silently and pulls his fingers out, Castiel almost whimpers at the lack of contact but holds himself together. He watches as Dean pours the last of the lube into his hand and works himself twice. Then he grabs Castiel by the hips and pulls him almost onto his lap. Castiel drops his feet to the bed outside of Dean’s legs and lifts up on the balls of his feet opening himself up for Dean. Dean moves forward and presses the head of his dick to Castiel’s entrance. “Dean. Now.” Castiel breathes. With a groan Dean pushes inside.
“Holy, fuck, Cas.” Dean breathes as he stills taking a moment to gather himself before pushing the rest of the way in. Castiel moans and then cries out as the head of Dean’s dick brushes against his prostate. “Cas, I can’t. I need, fuck.” Dean babbles and Castiel just nods enthusiastically, unable to form the words. Dean pulls out and slams back into him, slowly at first but then with building speed and intensity, he buries himself as deeply as he can in Castiel’s ass over and over again.
“God! Dean!” Castiel cries and can’t help but thrust his hips up in time with Dean and they build steadily together until they’re both reduced to cries and groans of each other’s names. Dean reaches up for Castiel’s cock, but Castiel just brushes his hand away, “No, Dean,” Castiel manages around his building orgasm, “I told you, like this. Just like this,” Dean groans on top of him and Castiel feels his elbows almost give out. It only takes a few more thrusts and Castiel is coming again, harder than ever before. As his orgasm rolls through him, Dean keeps thrusting, but he’s lost his rhythm he’s so close. Castiel pulls himself up on shaky arms and whispers in Dean’s ear, “now, Dean.” It’s all Dean needed and he crumples on top of Castiel with the force of his orgasm. They lay panting for a moment before Dean pulls himself out and lies down next to Castiel. Castiel turns to him and he sees the spark in Dean’s eyes again. It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Dean reaches down and pulls the covers up around them. Before he settles down to sleep, Castiel reaches out and grabs his bicep tight.
“You have to promise me one thing if you want to sleep here tonight,” Castiel says.
“Anything,” Dean answers as he tries to fight off sleep long enough to finish their conversation.
“Promise me you’ll be here when I wake up.” Castiel whispers as he settles in close, resting his head under Dean’s chins and wrapping their legs together.
“I promise.” Castiel lets out a sigh as Dean pulls him closer as they drift off to sleep.
Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Epilogue |