[Reaction/Video message]infiniillusionFebruary 24 2011, 21:47:17 UTC
[Kanda hasn't managed to properly fall asleep yet, so he wakes up when the Hitomi suddenly starts broadcasting something.]
[It's from Lavi.]
[And if the situation was different, he wouldn't watch. Because he doesn't want to see it if it means he's going to know too much, but... In this place, when this happens, everyone is going to see, and if it is so, he has more of a right for it than most people.]
[Because, well, they're friends, as much as he wouldn't like to admit it.]
[And so he does watch it.]
[He's known the facts, but not the details. And this actually touches him, somewhat, for one very important reason.]
[Lavi has killed his best friend, too.[Sometimes it's a little scary
( ... )
[Video | Private]mistyredheadFebruary 25 2011, 14:10:58 UTC
[...that--
What does he even respond to that? He supposes it's alright if he doesn't, but he's still... a little unsure. He kind of wants to, but yet not, and he really has no idea what he would say.
If he gets what Yu is talking about... He doesn't think it's entirely so alike, but maybe not too different either he supposes. Close enough or something like that, still best friends and all... Ugh.
..funny, though. That's the first he can recall Yu ever bringing that topic up on his own.
He'll just respond anyway. Sleeping doesn't sound so tempting at the very moment.]
[Video | Private]infiniillusionFebruary 25 2011, 15:16:41 UTC
[Oh, so Lavi does respond. Kanda isn't sure what he thinks of it; while he'd like not to continue on the topic, some part of him maybe does, because... he did respond to the redhead first, after all.]
[But he doesn't really know how to say all that he wants. And instead he will go with the most common answer that he usually gives out, because Lavi still seems troubled by it.]
[Video | Private]mistyredheadFebruary 26 2011, 00:10:08 UTC
[Well, that's funny because he really doesn't. It's just... this dream has occured a couple of times even so, ever since Doug came here. It should just be temporary, he's fine.
It just always gets to him every single time; doesn't mean it sticks around. Quite the opposite, really, he's... fairly sure of that. Yeah.
Or he hopes so. Hell, he doesn't really know, but he... will try to make sure of that. But he manages a light smile because there's no need to remind him of that; he knows it. It's fine.]
[Reaction/Video]bytheireyesFebruary 25 2011, 10:41:02 UTC
[ Doug wakes up with his Hitomi in his hands. He blinks and something wet lands on his thumb.
This isn't the Order. Colette--
Why would he dream something like that?
Or...
Hands shaking, he tries to search the Hitomi. The screen displays a blank message to Lavi he doesn't remember starting. Doug squeezes his eyes shut, those images and emotions still too real - Colette, Lavi - then opens them again and turns to the Hitomi. ]
... Lavi?
[ His voice is quiet, but it sounds out of place to his ears in the dark. ]
[Video | Private]mistyredheadFebruary 25 2011, 13:01:48 UTC
[...Doug.
Shit. Doug saw it. Crap, crap. And he looks so...
Lavi draws in a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment, turning away, gathering himself. There's a reason he didn't tell Doug this, not only because it would be hard to do but beause he doesn't want to see Doug like that, like this.
But he can't not respond and he can't find it in him to just respond in voice, so he turns back to face the Hitomi and rearranges the settings. And he speaks just as quietly, maybe even quieter.]
[Video | Private]bytheireyesFebruary 25 2011, 18:16:44 UTC
[ It doesn't look like he woke Lavi, and it really must have been Lavi's dream...
A dream that seemed too much like a memory to be nothing more than a dream.
It's become even clearer that Lavi does feel for people. Maybe his reasons for keeping them at a distance have, too, a little. It should be a good thing that he's not the same Lavi he was two or more years ago now, but if this is something he experienced--
There's a part of Doug that doesn't want to believe this is the future waiting back home. Colette deserves better. Surely even Serge couldn't have gone that far.
And he knows better than to call someone back.
But the fear and guilt that he did something terrible are there. The pieces could fit - Lavi's behaviour, Kanda's words.
Doug swallows, realizing that he's been staring at the Hitomi's screen too long. ]
Lavi, I...
Will you be all right?
[ The Hitomi must have made Lavi's dream public. ]
[Video | Private]mistyredheadFebruary 26 2011, 00:04:44 UTC
[He's the one that should be asking that, Doug. Sure, it feels a little tough right now, and has felt a little tough off and on lately, but he'll definitely be alright. He's been through it once already, he can do it again, it's not impossible and he knows that.
[video | private]mightstealyrcarFebruary 27 2011, 18:40:51 UTC
[Matt knows something more about the war in Lavi's world now. It doesn't help. Really, it only makes the emotions hit harder.
A best friend who's not, anymore, and when you need your detachment, it's not there, can't help you do what you know you have to do. A war that doesn't just take things from you. It makes you take them from yourself, twists them, not far enough to be mercifully unrecognizable. As Matt tries to get more comfortable, more than half-awake and trying to pretend he isn't, he's sure the blood in the dream looks darker than it should for a moment. He doesn't know if this is pure dream, memory, or both swirled up together, a fear of what might come, or something past.
Belonging nowhere, my heart unmoved. ...yeah, Matt's been like that. (Sometimes, he wishes he could be again.)
He's surprised Lavi thinks of him, and that's a lot of why he replies. Maybe it's not so weird, after all, though. Lavi comes off cheerier than Matt, but Matt's been struck several times by how alike they are.]
[video | private]mistyredheadFebruary 28 2011, 00:04:45 UTC
[That's okay, Lavi's surprised too. He hasn't quite thought of Matt as someone so close, but apparently he thinks of him as someone close enough. All of these attachments just sneak up on him and he can't do anything about it, and it's frustrating.
But he'll try to work with it, because that's all he can do. It's just a little rough...]
[ Voice | Private ] 1/2mistyredheadMarch 1 2011, 00:52:24 UTC
[See, Link, that's not a topic Lavi would ever willingly touch. That's what he hates so much about this dream thing with the Hitomi; in the end, he can't really do anything about it. He can't do anything about his struggles coming out because that is usually what haunts his dreams, and it sucks. It sucks really bad.
And he would like to not answer honestly, but he has no damn idea what the hell he would say. "No, not at all"? Come on, that's just useless. It would be pretty obvious that's just not true.
[This certainly isn't the first time he's seen one of his friend's dreams, and it certainly isn't the first one that's terrified him. All of the horrors that Allen, Lavi, Link, Lenalee, and everyone else dreams about, they're a reality.
But something is different about this one. Maybe it's because Doug is in the Order, and he really should have known better. Maybe it's Lavi's own feelings seeping into Timothy's mind. Maybe it's the knowledge that even people who know about the Earl can succumb to his temptations. Whatever it is, somehow this dream is much more terrible than the others.
At first he doesn't even want to respond, and he's not sure he would even know what to say if he did. 'Sorry your friend died?' That's stupid, and it will definitely make Lavi think he's stupid. So he sits there for a few minutes, trying to think of something to say that won't sound terrible.]
[Eventually Timothy decides that saying something about the dream is a really bad idea, but while thinking about it he gets a better idea. Whenever he has a bad dream, he likes to forget about it as quickly as possible, and distractions help. Lavi's an adult, but maybe he would like that too.
Still, Timothy waits for what he thinks is twenty minutes (but is actually closer to five, since he's so horribly impatient) before switching on his Hitomi and trying to act like he didn't see that dream.]
A long one! And make it really cool too! With knights and princesses and stuff! You know all the best stories, so you gotta know at least one like that.
[He might be overdoing it juuuust a bit. Or he might be enthusiastic about fairy tales.]
Comments 45
[It's from Lavi.]
[And if the situation was different, he wouldn't watch. Because he doesn't want to see it if it means he's going to know too much, but... In this place, when this happens, everyone is going to see, and if it is so, he has more of a right for it than most people.]
[Because, well, they're friends, as much as he wouldn't like to admit it.]
[And so he does watch it.]
[He's known the facts, but not the details. And this actually touches him, somewhat, for one very important reason.]
[Lavi has killed his best friend, too.[Sometimes it's a little scary ( ... )
Reply
What does he even respond to that? He supposes it's alright if he doesn't, but he's still... a little unsure. He kind of wants to, but yet not, and he really has no idea what he would say.
If he gets what Yu is talking about... He doesn't think it's entirely so alike, but maybe not too different either he supposes. Close enough or something like that, still best friends and all... Ugh.
..funny, though. That's the first he can recall Yu ever bringing that topic up on his own.
He'll just respond anyway. Sleeping doesn't sound so tempting at the very moment.]
..yeah...
Reply
[But he doesn't really know how to say all that he wants. And instead he will go with the most common answer that he usually gives out, because Lavi still seems troubled by it.]
Don't think too much on it. Such is war.
Reply
It just always gets to him every single time; doesn't mean it sticks around. Quite the opposite, really, he's... fairly sure of that. Yeah.
Or he hopes so. Hell, he doesn't really know, but he... will try to make sure of that. But he manages a light smile because there's no need to remind him of that; he knows it. It's fine.]
I don't. It's just a dream.
Reply
This isn't the Order. Colette--
Why would he dream something like that?
Or...
Hands shaking, he tries to search the Hitomi. The screen displays a blank message to Lavi he doesn't remember starting. Doug squeezes his eyes shut, those images and emotions still too real - Colette, Lavi - then opens them again and turns to the Hitomi. ]
... Lavi?
[ His voice is quiet, but it sounds out of place to his ears in the dark. ]
Reply
Shit. Doug saw it. Crap, crap. And he looks so...
Lavi draws in a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment, turning away, gathering himself. There's a reason he didn't tell Doug this, not only because it would be hard to do but beause he doesn't want to see Doug like that, like this.
But he can't not respond and he can't find it in him to just respond in voice, so he turns back to face the Hitomi and rearranges the settings. And he speaks just as quietly, maybe even quieter.]
Yeah?
Reply
A dream that seemed too much like a memory to be nothing more than a dream.
It's become even clearer that Lavi does feel for people. Maybe his reasons for keeping them at a distance have, too, a little. It should be a good thing that he's not the same Lavi he was two or more years ago now, but if this is something he experienced--
There's a part of Doug that doesn't want to believe this is the future waiting back home. Colette deserves better. Surely even Serge couldn't have gone that far.
And he knows better than to call someone back.
But the fear and guilt that he did something terrible are there. The pieces could fit - Lavi's behaviour, Kanda's words.
Doug swallows, realizing that he's been staring at the Hitomi's screen too long. ]
Lavi, I...
Will you be all right?
[ The Hitomi must have made Lavi's dream public. ]
Reply
Of course he'll be fine.
But Doug...]
I will. Will you?
Reply
A best friend who's not, anymore, and when you need your detachment, it's not there, can't help you do what you know you have to do. A war that doesn't just take things from you. It makes you take them from yourself, twists them, not far enough to be mercifully unrecognizable. As Matt tries to get more comfortable, more than half-awake and trying to pretend he isn't, he's sure the blood in the dream looks darker than it should for a moment. He doesn't know if this is pure dream, memory, or both swirled up together, a fear of what might come, or something past.
Belonging nowhere, my heart unmoved. ...yeah, Matt's been like that. (Sometimes, he wishes he could be again.)
He's surprised Lavi thinks of him, and that's a lot of why he replies. Maybe it's not so weird, after all, though. Lavi comes off cheerier than Matt, but Matt's been struck several times by how alike they are.]
You all right?
Reply
But he'll try to work with it, because that's all he can do. It's just a little rough...]
Yeah, I'm fine.
[Mostly. Will be.]
Reply
[He sighs, thinking.]
Caring so much that you can't. I hope so, anyway.
Reply
[You get a sigh in return. If it was that easy.]
Depends.
Reply
He certainly didn't expect this.
And he doesn't know what to say. Maybe it's the late realisation that every one of them here...have had things happen to them in the past.
But he has a question, so he filters this. ]
At times like these, is it difficult to be Bookman?
Reply
And he would like to not answer honestly, but he has no damn idea what the hell he would say. "No, not at all"? Come on, that's just useless. It would be pretty obvious that's just not true.
There's no use even trying.]
Reply
You know the answer to that already, unless you're completely retarded.
Reply
Reply
But something is different about this one. Maybe it's because Doug is in the Order, and he really should have known better. Maybe it's Lavi's own feelings seeping into Timothy's mind. Maybe it's the knowledge that even people who know about the Earl can succumb to his temptations. Whatever it is, somehow this dream is much more terrible than the others.
At first he doesn't even want to respond, and he's not sure he would even know what to say if he did. 'Sorry your friend died?' That's stupid, and it will definitely make Lavi think he's stupid. So he sits there for a few minutes, trying to think of something to say that won't sound terrible.]
Reply
Still, Timothy waits for what he thinks is twenty minutes (but is actually closer to five, since he's so horribly impatient) before switching on his Hitomi and trying to act like he didn't see that dream.]
I can't sleep. Tell me a story.
Reply
Because even so, he kind of appreciates it. And it proves a distraction.]
A story, hm? What kind? Long? Short?
Reply
[He might be overdoing it juuuust a bit. Or he might be enthusiastic about fairy tales.]
Reply
Leave a comment