[Reaction/Video]bytheireyesFebruary 25 2011, 10:41:02 UTC
[ Doug wakes up with his Hitomi in his hands. He blinks and something wet lands on his thumb.
This isn't the Order. Colette--
Why would he dream something like that?
Or...
Hands shaking, he tries to search the Hitomi. The screen displays a blank message to Lavi he doesn't remember starting. Doug squeezes his eyes shut, those images and emotions still too real - Colette, Lavi - then opens them again and turns to the Hitomi. ]
... Lavi?
[ His voice is quiet, but it sounds out of place to his ears in the dark. ]
[Video | Private]mistyredheadFebruary 25 2011, 13:01:48 UTC
[...Doug.
Shit. Doug saw it. Crap, crap. And he looks so...
Lavi draws in a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment, turning away, gathering himself. There's a reason he didn't tell Doug this, not only because it would be hard to do but beause he doesn't want to see Doug like that, like this.
But he can't not respond and he can't find it in him to just respond in voice, so he turns back to face the Hitomi and rearranges the settings. And he speaks just as quietly, maybe even quieter.]
[Video | Private]bytheireyesFebruary 25 2011, 18:16:44 UTC
[ It doesn't look like he woke Lavi, and it really must have been Lavi's dream...
A dream that seemed too much like a memory to be nothing more than a dream.
It's become even clearer that Lavi does feel for people. Maybe his reasons for keeping them at a distance have, too, a little. It should be a good thing that he's not the same Lavi he was two or more years ago now, but if this is something he experienced--
There's a part of Doug that doesn't want to believe this is the future waiting back home. Colette deserves better. Surely even Serge couldn't have gone that far.
And he knows better than to call someone back.
But the fear and guilt that he did something terrible are there. The pieces could fit - Lavi's behaviour, Kanda's words.
Doug swallows, realizing that he's been staring at the Hitomi's screen too long. ]
Lavi, I...
Will you be all right?
[ The Hitomi must have made Lavi's dream public. ]
[Video | Private]mistyredheadFebruary 26 2011, 00:04:44 UTC
[He's the one that should be asking that, Doug. Sure, it feels a little tough right now, and has felt a little tough off and on lately, but he'll definitely be alright. He's been through it once already, he can do it again, it's not impossible and he knows that.
[Video | Private] 1/2bytheireyesFebruary 26 2011, 03:02:34 UTC
[ Really? Through his current thoughts, Doug thinks back to what he saw in that dream. Lavi's reminder to himself, as the Bookman's successor.
But, startled when he hears Lavi return the question, he falls silent. It would be a lie to say yes right now. He can't get that image of Colette out of his mind, let alone the thought that she's gone through even more. It's as if he betrayed her trust, and after she finally opened up.
And everyone who was killed...
He can't just act like everything can be all right after that.
But it hasn't happened yet, in his time. Isn't there any way to keep it from happening? If he could hold onto this knowledge and go back with it someday?
If God isn't there, maybe pleading with the 'gods' here won't help, either, but it's the only option he can come up with. ]
[Video | Private]bytheireyesFebruary 26 2011, 03:04:52 UTC
I won't let anything like this happen. I'll do whatever I can.
[ His voice shakes a little, desperate. It's all sinking in and he doesn't think he needs to ask for confirmation that it was real. Lavi's told him enough. ]
[Video | Private]mistyredheadFebruary 27 2011, 23:58:40 UTC
[You can't, Doug, you can't. It's funny how much Lavi both wants to say that, bluntly and sharply, because it's not possible, and not say that. Because he doesn't want to break Doug's heart any further when he should never have learned of this in the first place, because that's the least he can do after the history they have. But one part tells him that he should be honest, that that's the right way to go.
That it would be best to hear it right away.
But Lavi can't do it, he can't say that. So he doesn't.]
[ Doug's grip on the Hitomi tightens. It feels like any words left are stuck in his throat.
He has to keep this promise. There must be some way, something he can do, now that he knows. He can't let Lavi's dream have been exposed for nothing. ]
This isn't the Order. Colette--
Why would he dream something like that?
Or...
Hands shaking, he tries to search the Hitomi. The screen displays a blank message to Lavi he doesn't remember starting. Doug squeezes his eyes shut, those images and emotions still too real - Colette, Lavi - then opens them again and turns to the Hitomi. ]
... Lavi?
[ His voice is quiet, but it sounds out of place to his ears in the dark. ]
Reply
Shit. Doug saw it. Crap, crap. And he looks so...
Lavi draws in a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment, turning away, gathering himself. There's a reason he didn't tell Doug this, not only because it would be hard to do but beause he doesn't want to see Doug like that, like this.
But he can't not respond and he can't find it in him to just respond in voice, so he turns back to face the Hitomi and rearranges the settings. And he speaks just as quietly, maybe even quieter.]
Yeah?
Reply
A dream that seemed too much like a memory to be nothing more than a dream.
It's become even clearer that Lavi does feel for people. Maybe his reasons for keeping them at a distance have, too, a little. It should be a good thing that he's not the same Lavi he was two or more years ago now, but if this is something he experienced--
There's a part of Doug that doesn't want to believe this is the future waiting back home. Colette deserves better. Surely even Serge couldn't have gone that far.
And he knows better than to call someone back.
But the fear and guilt that he did something terrible are there. The pieces could fit - Lavi's behaviour, Kanda's words.
Doug swallows, realizing that he's been staring at the Hitomi's screen too long. ]
Lavi, I...
Will you be all right?
[ The Hitomi must have made Lavi's dream public. ]
Reply
Of course he'll be fine.
But Doug...]
I will. Will you?
Reply
But, startled when he hears Lavi return the question, he falls silent. It would be a lie to say yes right now. He can't get that image of Colette out of his mind, let alone the thought that she's gone through even more. It's as if he betrayed her trust, and after she finally opened up.
And everyone who was killed...
He can't just act like everything can be all right after that.
But it hasn't happened yet, in his time. Isn't there any way to keep it from happening? If he could hold onto this knowledge and go back with it someday?
If God isn't there, maybe pleading with the 'gods' here won't help, either, but it's the only option he can come up with. ]
Reply
[ His voice shakes a little, desperate. It's all sinking in and he doesn't think he needs to ask for confirmation that it was real. Lavi's told him enough. ]
Reply
That it would be best to hear it right away.
But Lavi can't do it, he can't say that. So he doesn't.]
I know.
Reply
He has to keep this promise. There must be some way, something he can do, now that he knows. He can't let Lavi's dream have been exposed for nothing. ]
Reply
Leave a comment