Eleven and a Half Years Later: Unprecedented
Title: Eleven and a Half Years Later: Unprecedented
Author: kanedax
Spoilers: Deathly Hallows & Previous Chapters
Characters/Pairings: Neville/Uriela (OC), Tiberius Ogden, various portraits
Rating: R for language, nudity, and sexual activity and discussion
Word count: 4,307 words
Summary: The headmaster gets his say
Notes: I own Uriela Clavis and these characters. All others belong to JK Rowling.
Bedtime Story / Previous Chapters / The Sankuru Serpent
Professor Tiberius Ogden pursed his lips.
“Hmm…”
As Ogden’s fingertips tapped against his desk, Neville Longbottom understood fully why this man was chosen to replace Minerva McGonagall as headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. When in the best of moods, the tall, lanky wizard’s smile, framed by a long salt-and-pepper horseshoe mustache (more salt than there was when Neville started at Hogwarts eight years ago), could brighten anyone’s day.
But those steel gray eyes…. When they shone, you felt like the king of the world. But when they bore down on you, studied you through his pince-nez glasses, they made you feel like you were eight years old again. They demanded patience, demanded respect and obedience. And they demanded honesty, a skill that served him well through decades on the Wizengamot.
Neville was feeling the brunt of those eyes right now, even as they glanced back and forth between himself and Uriela Clavis, who was sitting beside him. He was nearing thirty years old, but he still clutched his hands tightly in his lap, forcing himself to not nervously pick at his robes like a schoolboy in detention. He glanced over to look at her, and saw that she, three years older still, was biting her lip nervously and adjusting her glasses far too frequently.
Of course, the portraits of Hogwarts’s previous headmasters all stared down at the couple. That didn’t help Neville’s feelings of sitting in the middle of some interrogation.
“Well,” Tiberius said eventually, “I must say that this is fairly unprecedented.”
“We know, sir,” said Uriela, who had eschewed her normal wardrobe of Muggle jeans and t-shirts in favor of more professional attire and returned her usually color-streaked hair back to its normal black. “That’s why we came to speak to you first. To know if, you know, this would affect our positions here in the school.”
“Hmmm,” Tiberius repeated, his lips pursed again. He leaned back in his chair. “Well, I won’t lie to you by saying that this was unexpected.”
“Unexpected, perhaps,” said the portrait of Albus Dumbledore from behind him. “But quite welcome. If, of course,” he corrected quickly, “You wish for my opinion, Professor Ogden.”
“I might take it into consideration at some point down the line, Albus,” said Ogden. “You have known them both longer than I have. You might have some viewpoints as to whether you believe they can handle this.”
“I’ve known them for as long as Dumbledore has,” came a sneering voice from behind Neville. “And if you ask me, they’ll make a mockery of the school. Clavis may have been high in her marks in most classes, except mine. But it still amazed me that Dumbledore made her a prefect, what with her disrespect of Hogwarts rules and traditions. As for Longbottom, you are no doubt aware of my feelings about McGonagall hiring him in the first place…”
“Thank you, Severus, thank you,” Ogden said impatiently. “I’ve heard these views many times, and I will of course be taking them in, as well.”
“Of course you will,” Severus Snape said, not believing the current Headmaster’s promise. Neville flushed, wondering just how many horrible things Severus had to say about him. He may have been with Dumbledore, may have been fighting against Voldemort and the Carrows in his seventh year. But that didn’t make Snape’s loathing of him up to the end any easier to swallow.
“But, as I was saying,” said Ogden, ignoring the indignant sniff from Snape’s portrait, “this is fairly unprecedented territory, but not unexpected. I’ve actually spoken to the former headmasters many times since you two began your relationship. None of them were able to speak to any instances of, for lack of a better term, inter-office marriage in their time. Am I correct in saying this?” he added, glancing around the walls, where most of the portraits nodded in agreement.
Except for one. “Well, we did have one marriage,” said a grayed witch. “Of course, they were both in their seventies and widowed.”
“Of course,” said Tiberius with a nod,” Thank you, Dilys.”
“I hired a husband and wife as my Potions and Arithmancy professors,” said Phineas Nigellus Black, “They were also at the late stages in their lives, not in the family-bearing years of these two. I personally wouldn’t trust either of them, especially after overhearing what the boy’s former lady friend had said to the Potters about their, um, intimate relations when I visited Grimmauld Place.”
Is he talking about Luna? Neville thought, blushing even harder. Sure, she was very open in talking about what she and Neville had done when they were dating. She was probably even more open about it when it was just herself and Ginny speaking in private. If she had known that the portrait hanging in the main hall was listening in… Well, it probably wouldn’t have made any difference in the end.
“Frankly,” Black continued, leaning idly on his pedestal, “I’m afraid allowing a coupling between himself and any other member of Hogwarts staff would be a step towards turning this hallowed school into a house of ill repute.”
“Ill repute?” Uriela burst out.
“I can understand your concern, Phineas,” said an ancient wizard from one of the more faded and dusty frames, “but a married couple is hardly…”
“I would have to agree with Professor Sigma,” said Tiberius, turning back towards the couple. “But Professor Black does raise some valid points.”
“Sir,” said Neville, wondering just how their conversation with their Headmaster, their boss, had turned towards he and Uriela’s sex life. And you honestly thought that it wouldn’t go this way eventually? his rational mind retorted.
“Sir,” he continued, “if it’s a question of whether Uriela and I would be able to keep ourselves… well, restrain ourselves during the school year…”
“I don’t think it’s a question of that,” Tiberius interrupted. “I know you two have kept yourselves very professional during your courtship.”
“You… you do?”
“Of course,” said Tiberius. “You’re both grown adults. It would be stupid of me to think that you were both abstinent all of this time. But I also know that you two have kept it off the grounds. The protection spells aren’t specified to underage wizards, so they would have been activated otherwise.”
“Oh,” Neville said with a quick glance at Uriela. “Yes, I suppose you’re right.” In addition to the numerous enchantments protecting the school from unwarranted attack and entry, there was one particular charm that kept the students’ sexual behavior in check. While it wasn’t designed to react to any sort of sexual activity (“We’re in a school with a couple hundred hormone bombs,” Jana Allentide chuckled one day in the teachers’ lounge. “If that spell activated every time a student masturbated we’d never be able to sleep.”) it did sound a loud alarm whenever actual sexual intercourse occurred between two students. And, of course, since there were seventeen and eighteen year olds at Hogwarts, the spell covered those over the age of adulthood as well as those below it.
Faculty included.
If Neville and Uriela ever got into anything during the school year, it was very limited, as they both felt some sort of obligation to keep it clean while on the school grounds. Any actual sex was limited to the rare nights off when they could both travel to Neville’s flat in Hogsmeade.
“No, that’s not my concern,” Tiberius continued, standing up, towering over them. “My concern is a family. Children. I’m already aware of your inclinations of favoritism towards some students over others. The first year by the name of Theodore Lupin comes to mind.”
“Completely unprofessional,” Snape drawled. “Professors should never view one student as more or less important than another.”
“Considering your treatment of Harry,” Neville said sharply towards Severus’s painting, “along with the other Gryffindors, and, well, any student who wasn’t a Slytherin, I don’t exactly trust your opinion, Professor Snape.”
“If I recall,” Snape said, “Potter named his second-born after me. My six years of education must have had quite a positive impact on him for me to receive such star treatment.”
“Longbottom, stop arguing with the acrylics,” Ogden sighed. “And don’t take this as a complaint about your treatment of Lupin or any other student. I don’t mind professors finding students who they become closer to than others, just so long as they don’t start treating other students any worse because of it.”
“Then why did you bring it up?” asked Neville.
“Because it’s one thing to have an influence on students,” Tiberius explained. “But it’s quite another to teach and grade your own children in a classroom of their peers. That’s where favoritism might become a problem.”
“It won’t be a problem, sir,” said Uriela, taking Neville’s hand. “Neville and I have decided that we’re not having children.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah,” said Neville. “No children. As long as we’re both professors, we wouldn’t be able to raise them. We’d have to hand them off to relatives or friends to raise and teach. Or they’d have to be raised here in the school.”
“Preposterous,” Black muttered.
“It would… it would just be unfair for everyone involved.”
“Besides,” Uriela added with a nervous smile, “We’re teachers. We live with children, eat with children. I personally have all of the kids that I can handle right now.”
Tiberius nodded. “And I assume you both are willing to take any necessary precautions?”
Neville and Uriela nodded.
“Knowing fully well that I might have to sack either or both of you if a family becomes a part of your future plans?” Tiberius said, looking at them over his glasses. “I would agree with Professor Longbottom. If a child is conceived, I refuse to have it live under this roof before it is of age to attend Hogwarts as a student. The diapers alone…” he shuddered.
“We’ve actually been discussing permanent contraceptive charms,” said Uriela. “But in the meantime, yes, we will be taking every precaution. You won’t have to worry about a bun in my oven, you have my word.”
Tiberius’s lips pursed in thought again, but he nodded in assent. “And the ceremony?” he asked. “When is it to be held?”
“This summer,” said Neville. “A week after we get out of here. That way we’ll still be able to get a honeymoon under our belts before we have to attend to the new Muggle-borns.”
“And I assume I’ll be getting an invitation?” Tiberius asked with a raised eyebrow.
“You and the rest of the faculty,” said Uriela with a sigh of relief that Neville matched with a relieved chuckle. They were in the clear.
“Very well,” Tiberius said, the cold gray eyes softening, the smile returning. He removed two pieces of parchment from a drawer and placed them on his desk. “We’ll discuss more specifics between now and next September. Living arrangements, class schedules, things of that nature. You two both have patrol duty tonight, correct?”
“Yes, sir,” said Neville as the headmaster began writing on one piece of parchment, and then the other.
Tiberius took his wand from his desk and tapped both pages. They instantly folded into paper airplanes (a carry-over from Ogden’s time at the Ministry, and “much easier than having students deliver memos,” Dumbledore’s portrait had stated) and floated out the door.
“Now you don’t,” said Tiberius, leaning back in his chair. “I just asked Evelyn and Albert to take your posts tonight. I think you both deserve to go down to Hogsmeade and celebrate.”
Neville and Uriela looked at each other, their surprised grins matching. “Thank you, sir,” they both said at once, but Ogden shook them off.
“Think nothing of it,” he said, standing again. “It’s the least I could do. Congratulations to you both.”
“Yes, congratulations,” Albus Dumbledore said, and most of the other portraits (Black and Snape remained stonily silent) echoed his sentiment as Ogden shook both of their hands.
“Meeting adjourned?” Neville asked.
“Not quite yet, Neville,” said Ogden. “I did want to speak to you quickly before you go out on the town. Uriela, if I could have a moment alone with your fiancé?”
“Of course,” said Uriela. “Want me to wait for you, Neville?”
“Will it take very long, Tiberius?” Neville asked the headmaster.
“No, not very long,” Tiberius said with the shake of his head.
“I’ll wait by the gargoyle, then,” Uriela said, giving Neville a bright smile before leaving the office.
“What’s this about, sir?” asked Neville. “It’s not about Teddy, is it? Because if there’s any problem…”
”No, no,” said Tiberius with a shake of his head. “Like I stated, I have no problem with your relationship to Theodore Lupin. Your past history with his family and his godparents are too strong to ignore. And I am glad to say that you’re not treating him that much differently than the other students in the actual classroom. His grades aren’t any better or worse than the others, so that’s a testament to your fairness.”
“Thank you, sir,” Neville said with a smile. “During Christmas and the summer holiday I’m Neville to him, but I make sure that I’m always Professor Longbottom during the school year.”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” said Tiberius. “Actually, I wanted to speak to you about a few of your fellow Gryffindors. Ms. Patil Parvati…”
“Parvati Patil, sir,” Neville said.
“Oh!” Tiberius said, opening a cabinet set between two of the Headmaster portraits and pulling out a file. “Oh, dear, I’ve been mispronouncing it wrong this whole time. Yes, Ms. Parvati Patil. And Mr. Harry Potter.”
“Harry?” Neville said with some surprise.
“Yes, Harry,” said Tiberius. “I’ve had a few conversations lately. Rubeus mentioned at breakfast about a week or two ago that Harry had once considered applying for a job here at the school, either as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, or creating a new position for the older students to teach a little more offensive magic. A more structured, graded version of Dumbledore’s Army, if you will.”
“Yeah, he did mention something like that to me,” said Neville. “That was a while ago, though. Back before he was even married, way before he had kids. Hagrid talked him out of it, though, for pretty much the same reasons Uri and I have for not wanting children. Hogwarts is no place for a parent.”
“He did mention that,” Tiberius said. “But I do have to admit that the idea did strike me as… well… educational.”
“Sir?”
“I spoke to Professor Squall,” said Ogden. “We talked about a possible addition to the Defense Against the Dark Arts curriculum. Do you think Mr. Potter would have any interest in making a special trip up to Hogwarts as a, um, a guest speaker, if you will?”
“A guest speaker?”
“Sure,” said Tiberius with a smile. “You all went through a lot in the seven years you attended school here. You, Ron and Hermione Weasley, Ginny Potter, Luna Lovegood. But you can’t pretend that Harry doesn’t have more experience fighting the Dark Arts than anyone else. I think that if he’s still interested in sharing his experiences, sharing his knowledge, with the students of Hogwarts, then we’d be more than happy to accept it.”
“And you’re asking me because…?” Neville leaned forward.
Tiberius shrugged noncommittally. “Just wondering if you’d be willing to put your feelers out for us,” he said. “See if he’d have any interest before we completely embarrass ourselves by asking The Chosen One to do something he has no interest in doing. It’s probably not anything that Calamus would be able to fit into his scheduled classes for this year, anyway. Probably sometime late 2010, early 2011?”
“Next school year?” Neville asked. “Sure, why not? Wouldn’t hurt to try. And I think he might be up for it. Any idea what it would involve?”
“A lecture, a question and answer session. Maybe he could sit down with Cal, figure out an old DA lesson for the older students, something that’s not currently being covered in his lessons.”
“I could probably give some suggestions, as well,” Neville said with a nod. “I ran the DA the year that he was out finding horcruxes; Ginny, Luna and I came up with a few lessons he didn’t have during his year. But I completely agree, he’s the best of all of us.”
“Excellent,” Tiberius smiled. “Well, you’ll keep me up to date on that, and of course let him know that my office is always open. You’ll have to let him in, though, with the changing passwords.”
“Of course.”
“Wonderful.” Tiberius nodded in approval, then looked down at the file. “As for Ms. Patil… you are aware that she applied for the vacancy in Divination for next September, correct?”
Neville nodded. Sybil Trelawney announced at the beginning of the year that she would be stepping down and moving on “to wherever the Eye will take me.”
“She was one of many, many qualified candidates to fill the position. Between you and me,” at this he leaned in, “I think we had such a large turnout because they knew that if Hogwarts hired Sybil, they’d hire anyone.”
“Now, Tiberius,” Dumbledore said as Neville snorted laughter. “The woman had many true predictions. And you know why I hired her on.”
“Of course, Albus, I’m sorry,” said Tiberius. “But looking into the records of many of these candidates, their records show more hits overall than Sybil ever had when it came to overall accuracy of prediction.”
“So how’d Parvati do?” asked Neville.
“Well, unfortunately, we couldn’t hire her.”
“I’m sorry?”
“She was extremely qualified,” said Tiberius. “And would have made a great addition to our staff in any other circumstance. But we’re hiring someone by the name of Kelly Skryer. Just as much talent as your friend Parvati has, but with two decades more educational experience to boot. We couldn’t say no.”
“And why are you telling me this?” asked Neville. “Want me to talk to Parvati, too? Tell her you weren’t interested? Cuz I don’t think the bruises would ever heal.”
“We’ve already told her,” said Tiberius. “We sent the owls out today to all of the finalists who didn’t get the job. Actually, I wanted to let you in on another position, and you can let her know.”
“And what position is that?”
“Beauxbatons,” said Tiberius. “Madame Maxime tells me that they’re looking for a Divination professor of their own. Now, I’m trying to keep things as fair and honest as possible, so a direct reference from the Headmaster of Hogwarts might be a little too much. But Beauxbatons’s Divination program focuses on many more aspects of Divination than we do here at Hogwarts. They even offer a Business Divination course for older students. And since Ms. Patil was the second-best candidate for our position, I think she would be perfect for that job.”
“But you don’t want to mention it to her directly,” said Neville with a smirk. “Or else it would look to the other candidates that you were giving preferential treatment, offering her a position that she didn’t apply for…”
“So I figure you might just want to mention it to her,” said Tiberius with a wink. “If she has any interest in moving to southern France, of course. And you didn’t hear it from me. Or from Madame Maxime.”
“Wink wink nudge nudge,” Neville chuckled. “Say no more. If anyone asks, I’ll just say that Fleur dropped it in conversation.”
“Always thinking on your feet,” said Ogden with a slap on the desk, “just like a Hogwarts professor should. So, is there anything else?”
“I don’t believe so, sir, no.”
“Good,” said Tiberius, who stood up and offered his hand. “Congratulations again.”
“Thank you, sir,” Neville said with a smile.
“Go,” Tiberius said, waving Neville towards the door. “Get pissed, get happy, get whatever. It’s a Friday, I don’t want to see you and Uri again until dinner tomorrow night, are we clear?”
“Thank you!”
“You’d better enjoy it,” said Tiberius with a smirk, “because I told Albert and Evelyn you’re taking their next two shifts in exchange.”
Neville laughed. “I think I’ll take that trade.”
“Excellent,” said Tiberius, patting Neville on the back as he walked to the office door. “We’ll make the formal announcement to the school when you come back. Unless you two want to keep it quiet, I think something this historic should be shouted from the rooftops.”
“Hear, hear!” shouted Albus and a few more of the portraits as the door closed behind him. He climbed down the spiraling stone steps and was met at the bottom by a pair of lips.
“Hi,” he said with a smile as Uriela pulled away a few seconds later.
“Hi,” Uriela said with a besotted grin, her arms around his neck, his around her waist. “Thank God that was you and not Tiberius, or this would be really awkward.”
“A little bit, yeah,” said Neville. “Well, he’s done with us, so we can go.”
“What did he want to talk to you about?” she asked as they reluctantly separated and walked down the hall towards Uriela’s office.
“Business,” said Neville. “I’ll tell you later. But what do we want to do? We have until dinner tomorrow night. Should I send out some owls? Get a party together?”
Two hours later, as the moon rose over Neville’s flat in Hogsmeade village, Uriela Clavis collapsed on top of him.
“So,” Neville said, panting, as he rubbed Uriela’s bare back, “Aren’t you glad I talked you out of getting a party together?”
Uriela snorted as she rested her head on his shoulder. “Last time I checked, love, I was the one who talked you out of it.”
“Oh, yeah…” Neville said. “Well, in my defense, you didn’t so much talk me out of it as shove your tongue down my throat as soon as we got to your office.”
“An effective tactic in any debate,” Uriela smiled.
“You definitely left me speechless.”
“Besides,” she continued, “it’s almost eleven, and we have far too many parents in our circle of friends. It would have been such a small gathering it wouldn’t have been worth it. If you want to send an owl or two out later, I’m sure we could slip a breakfast or tea in somewhere.”
“Yeah, I guess,” said Neville as he ran his fingers through her sweaty hair, which she ran her wand through after their meeting with Ogden. Green and blue were now streaked through her short dark hair. “Now that I think about it, I guess there’s really no one left to have a drink with. Dean, I suppose. Seamus and Lavender…”
“Patil,” said Uriela. “Not for much longer, though. You are going to let her know about that job opening, right?”
“Oh, of course,” said Neville. “She’ll go apeshit when she hears about it. It’s right up her alley. And she already speaks a little French.”
“Cool,” said Uriela. “Yeah, your list is even longer than mine. My circle’s pretty small to begin with. I suppose Stacy would want to come out and celebrate. Everyone else is already hitched up, though, with their own diaper bags at home.”
Neville sighed. “We’re getting too old…”
“Speak for yourself,” Uriela teased, pushing herself up onto her hands. “You know how many ‘cradle-robbing’ jokes I’ve had to endure because of you?”
“I can only imagine…”
“The wedding shower’s going to be interesting,” said Uriela. “My friends have a nasty sense of humor sometimes.”
“Well, you can donate all of those extra booties and teething nooks to charity,” said Neville with a smirk.
“I just tell them I like them young and virile,” said Uriela. “That usually shuts them right up.”
“Virile, huh?” said Neville, pulling her down for a kiss.
“Mmmm,” Uriela moaned as his hand caressed her breast. “Considering what I’m feeling down below,” Neville gasped as she gave him a quick squeeze with her muscles, “I’d think virile’s the right word.”
“Virile’s an option,” said Neville as she stared to move up and down on him. “Happy… giddy… randy…”
“Valid, valid, valid,” said Uriela, whose voice was growing breathier by the moment. “So you want to get together with everyone tomorrow?”
“Sure…”
“And we’re being formally introduced to the school tomorrow night?”
“That’s what Ogden has planned.”
“So we don’t have to hide it anymore…”
“Not at all.”
“Good,” Uriela said, stopping suddenly and grabbing her wand from the nightstand, knocking her glasses to the floor in the process. “Accio.”
Uriela’s jean shorts, which she had been wearing beneath her robes during their discussion with the headmaster, and which were now crumpled on the floor along with the rest of their clothing, sprung to life and flew up to her outstretched hand. She put her wand down and dug around in her pockets.
“I’ve felt naked all day,” she said as she searched.
“You know you are naked, right?” Neville said with a smile, sitting up. “It’s not just a drafty bedroom.”
“Ah!” she squeaked, pulling her hand out of her pocket. “That’s better.”
“Nope,” Neville said as Uriela slipped her engagement ring on her finger. “You’re still naked.”
“And for someone who’s in the position that they’re in, you sure are complaining about it a lot.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Neville said with a dramatic sigh. “I guess my position will have to change.”
And he pushed her onto her back. Uriela burst into laughter as she landed, nearly bouncing off the bed, but he stopped her by climbing on top of her.
“Better?” she said through her chuckles.
“Much,” he said, and she let out a gasp as he slid back into her.
“Definitely much,” said Uriela, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Neville replied.
And he did.
Bedtime Story / Previous Chapters / The Sankuru Serpent