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Comments 36

box_in_the_box July 26 2009, 22:14:55 UTC
At this point, I seriously wonder if Tim Burton just runs his movie through a run-macro program:

PERIOD SETTING AND/OR BASED ON PREEXISTING WORK, Y/N = REGARDLESS, FILTER THROUGH SPOOKY GOTHIC VISUALS + DRUG-INDUCED ANIMATION
CAST = JOHNNY DEPP + DISTURBINGLY PALE WAIF, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THEY FIT ON NOT, + LISA MARIE HAHAHAHA SORRY HELENA BONHAM CARTER
SOUNDTRACK = DANNY ELFMAN DOING THE MERRY-GO-ROUND-FROM-HELL MUSIC YET AGAIN

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kali921 July 26 2009, 22:49:46 UTC
That's...above your usual capslock quota. I'm impressed.

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box_in_the_box July 26 2009, 22:56:17 UTC
It was meant to convey automated macro-speak rather than rage. :)

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kali921 July 27 2009, 00:15:18 UTC
Helena Bonham Carter looks like a ball-jointed doll in that trailer. And not in the good way, either.

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(The comment has been removed)

kali921 July 26 2009, 22:51:17 UTC
There are a lot of subpar vacuums out there. It's worth it to invest in a Miele, Riccar, Nilfisk, or similar because you'll have the thing for fifteen years rather than three. Consumer Reports has some great ratings and comparisons of vacuums, but they focus mostly on American brands - and after doing a lot of reading, I trust them less than I did a few years ago.

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adiva_calandia July 26 2009, 23:19:29 UTC
God, I am so torn about the Alice movie. I got really really into retellings of Alice over the last year, and so the basic premise of the storyline tickles my fancy, but . . . I am really getting tired of Burton's visuals. They're not unique anymore; they just look like they're waiting to be plastered on a Hot Topic T-shirt.

There are a few bits of that trailer I could watch over and over again, and they're all the ones that involve very little CGI.

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kali921 July 27 2009, 00:13:55 UTC
They're not unique anymore; they just look like they're waiting to be plastered on a Hot Topic T-shirt.

THIS needs to be put on Cafe Press. (Or Zazzle, preferably - better quality. My brush with Cafe Press thongs was chronicled here publicly and let's just say that the shoddy workpersonship did not hold up.)

Burton's getting tiresome. He's gone beyond sly and visually arresting to just hiring Johnny Depp, give him SUCH OUTLANDISH CLOTHES (that aren't outlandish at all by the standards of certain cities), get a performance out of Depp that's more an accretion of mannerisms than actual acting, lather, rinse, repeat.

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adiva_calandia July 27 2009, 00:36:35 UTC
Now I want to design something for a T-shirt that says "TIM BURTON'S LATEST" with a lot of curlicues and spirals and sytlizations and exagerrated serifs. But that would be cruel.

Burton's getting tiresome.
Which is sad! Both Burton and Depp are better than that! I'd like to see them do something again that isn't an adaptation -- maybe a new Burton original would be better.

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kali921 July 27 2009, 01:03:50 UTC
It is sad. But, alas, even the most talented film directors can decline into a wild unevenness. Not everyone can be Orson Welles.

*rimshot*

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derigueur July 27 2009, 00:18:34 UTC
A vacuum of such mighty proportions needs an epic, epic name.

I offer some suggestions.

If you feel its power comes from some primordial urge for predation upon these microcosmic invaders, perhaps the dinosaur formula would apply. Thus:

Mitovorus Rex! KING of Dustmitey DOOOOOM!

Or, if perhaps you see it more in the light of Discworld mythology, simply:

Death-of-Mites

Third option, inspired by the Robert E. Howard references above:

Hepa, The Dust-Devil, Slayer of Eyeless Horde, Unsatiable Hunger of Tapetaria, Whose Breath Quenches The Flame of Life Itself.

I hope that provides you with some meagre inspiration for your own eventual selection.

Also; Djimon Hounsou? Thulsa Doom?!?!?! Swoon!

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SO. TORN. kali921 July 27 2009, 00:24:57 UTC
Hepa, The Dust-Devil, Slayer of Eyeless Horde, Unsatiable Hunger of Tapetaria, Whose Breath Quenches The Flame of Life Itself.

I'M SO TORN. And I KNEW you'd come through! Out of all the people on my flist, I knew you'd be the one to step up to the challenge.

Death-of-Mites

Simple, Pratchettian, and true. Does that mean that Death-of-Fleas now gets a tiny Death-of-Mites on its shoulder?

Mitovorus Rex! KING of Dustmitey DOOOOOM!

ALSO a hot contender. You know, I have one of those Brother label-makers RIGHT HERE. All I have to do is choose and start tapping at the little keyboard...

...and there goes my night, as I'm paralyzed by indecision.

Yes. Djimon Hounsou as Thulsa Doom. If you look at the preview interior art of the mini, they've drawn Thulsa Doom to look as closely to Djimon as possible, which, even if the film doesn't pan out, is a better way to preserve your legacy in comics than, say, being poor Simon Pegg and having Darick Robertson immortalize you in Garth Ennis' The Boys as a hopeless bystander who is the brunt of ( ... )

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Re: SO. TORN. derigueur July 27 2009, 00:44:26 UTC
How could I *not* rise to this one? Naming is a vitally important task, and one that must be conducted with as much forethought and support as possible. You are unleashing *elemental forces* in your home! If you do not know their name, they may turn upon you...

You could always do labels of all your options and apply them individually. See which ones cause the machine to writhe and buck and which settle effortlessly onto its petrochemically-derived armoured shell.

As for Death-of-Mites, if I may simply paraphrase Jonathan Swift?

"So, naturalist observe, a Death -
Hath smaller Deaths that on him slay;
And these have smaller still to smite 'em;
And so proceed ad infinitum"

[Which of course leads me to conclude there must be a Death-of-Quarks out there somewhere...an idea both charming and strange.]

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In which I demonstrate my appalling lack of knowledge of leptons. kali921 July 27 2009, 01:01:58 UTC
[Which of course leads me to conclude there must be a Death-of-Quarks out there somewhere...an idea both charming and strange.]

Death-of-Quarks resides on Death-of-Hadrons, right? It HAS to.

Death of muons! And death of muons has to be a QUANTUM Death-of-Muons, right? Wait, no, strike that. Even the smallest and swiftest death can still be privy to the Grim Reaper and still be privy to an absolute state of unbeing.

Naming is important. Now, take me. My real name, that is, the one we don't discuss here but which you know.

My mother told me that I was named after my grandfather's mother, who was an elegant and cosmopolitan lady from Poland and who spoke...four or five languages.

My father told me that I was named after Queen What's Her Name. Who was a very unfortunate woman.

My friends tend to just tell me the following: "Fuck all THAT noise, your name totally sounds like a Old West gunslinger. YOU HAVE A GUNSLINGER NAME. Now, just get the gunslinger walk down and we're golden."

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lokasenna July 27 2009, 01:15:01 UTC
Do you have a link or a pic of the vacuum you chose? I want to see!

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kali921 July 27 2009, 16:09:36 UTC

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