I have my lion rampant, and lo, it shall make the Earth tremble 'neath its wheels
I am now the proud owner of a closed-system HEPA vacuum with 5-stage filtration.
You do not want to know how much research and time was spent (and you don't want to know how much it cost - it is sufficient to say that it could feed a family of four for a MONTH) in adding this little metallic red baby to my household.
This little shining knight -- a knight that I shall shortly unleash like the dogs of war against the dust mites that have the audacity of trying to cohabitate with me without signing a sublease -- has enough gravitational binding energy to take everything that comes within its mighty suctioning grasp and pull it apart to infinity. Yes, you read that right - this sleekly dangerous beast is going to shatter covalent bonds, rend atoms, and cause all six flavors of leptons to die in agony. It is the Melkor of vacuum cleaners, a Melkor who shall crush the carcasses of dust mites beneath its omni-directional rubber wheels and cast them into the outer void rather than the other way around.
Yes. This vacuum cleaner could stand up to Eru himself and win.
I have to be careful, though - if I run it too long, the beast could attain sentience beyond its instinctive abhorrence of dust mites, mold spores, and other allergens, and then I'd have to face it down.
And this motherfucker has a thirty-five foot cord.
No. I wouldn't get three steps towards my front door before I'd be sucked into its gravity well, go through the rapidly ensuing wormhole, and wind up in some baby universe where Dermatophagoides have evolved to gigantic proportions (much like those giant sea scorpions that polluted the Zeitgeist a couple of years ago when they were discovered) and have decided to forgo the eating of shed human skin cells in lieu of just eating us whole instead.
But I won't go down without a fight. Dermatophagoides farinae? You little vessels of misery currently riding the dust bunnies like lightning?
Yes, YOU, the source of so much misery:
It's on, you eldritch, eyeless little motherfuckers. Your days are numbered. I'm going to sacrifice you to the Beast and then burn the HEPA bag when I'm done.*
Oh, and it has a corner attachment with vicious dust-mite-obliterating teeth - don't think you can hide there.
In fact, I need a name for my new lion rampant. Suggestions, flist?
Well, I might as well do a Grab Bag Sunday entry, eh?
WHOA:
State of Mind's new video for "City on Fire":
WHOA. WHOA. Can I use "awesome" here, or have I filled my quota for the week?
That's PNC on vocals there, and thank every deity ever that SOM have a new full-length release coming out. State of Mind usually does great videos (you know, on top of putting out absolutely gorgeously triptastic music - "Deadzone" is still one of my favorite tracks of the last five years, along with "Sunking") - if you haven't seen the Aleksander Sakowski-directed video for Sunking, it's a gorgeous song and a profoundly evocative video done with stop motion animation and wow, it's a creepily lonely little landscape on a lonely little asteroid with a lonely little thing trying to...you know what, just watch it.
Conversely, in the Stop Me From Searching My Old YouTube Favorites Again department, I cannot convey how much this made me laugh:
insanitykun will understand:
It keeps getting funnier every time I watch it.
Fashion:
Have I declared my love lately for designer Pinar Eris?
No? Well, I need to:
I wish her collections were larger. She does, however, take custom orders and will do custom sizing to whatever your heart's desire. She's quite reasonable, too - I highly suggest checking out her website and her shop on Etsy (those steampunk plaid skirts have me DROOLING).
I found her through one of my secret weapons in my fashion arsenal, that being a website that carries all manner of up and coming underground/street designers (where the hell do you think I found my Anna May Wong hoodie from?).
So, solicits are out for October 2009, and I'll have to do a whole SOLICIT-O-RAMA post tomorrow, but here's my favorite out of the bunch:
The new Sorcerer Supreme: That's DOCTOR Voodoo to you, bitches:
Two Three things about this cover:
1. It's done by Marko Djurdjevic, so it's very pretty, but:
2. Now that Jericho Drumm is the new Sorcerer Supreme, can we please get him OUT of the clichéd Voodoo getup? He's been wearing normal street clothes now for years.
3. Actually, he is wearing the Eye of Agamotto (hell, the Vishaunti invented bling), so that should be a shrill warning klaxon that Jericho has now been officially sanctioned by the Ancient One to go out and kill the goddamn Hood.
Now let's see what Frencesco Mattina's been up to in Photoshop!
War Machine #11:
...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes. Because the best way to immobilize James Rhodes in full War Machine mode is with chains.
I've been meaning, by the way, to to bring your attention to the fact that Dynamite has an upcoming Thulsa Doom miniseries coming up. It's being written by Arvid Nelson, so I have NO idea what to expect.
I love this cover to #2 by Alex Ross:
LOOK, LOOK, NO VIXENIFICATION.
The series is part of a development package for the upcoming film where Djimon Hounsou will be playing Thulsa Doom - we hope.
The cover to issue #1? While technically well executed, I most emphatically do NOT love it for reasons that should perhaps be obvious.
Finally, random Noel Fielding:
LULZ.
Oh, hey, how about that Alice in Wonderland teaser trailer?
...Burton spent ALL THAT MONEY on CGI and this is all we get?
(* Since I just finished Joe Hill's The Heart-Shaped Box, this is pretty much a universal guarantee that I will soon be haunted by the spirits of all the dust mites that I'm about to vacuum up, burn, and consign to dust mite oblivion.)
You do not want to know how much research and time was spent (and you don't want to know how much it cost - it is sufficient to say that it could feed a family of four for a MONTH) in adding this little metallic red baby to my household.
This little shining knight -- a knight that I shall shortly unleash like the dogs of war against the dust mites that have the audacity of trying to cohabitate with me without signing a sublease -- has enough gravitational binding energy to take everything that comes within its mighty suctioning grasp and pull it apart to infinity. Yes, you read that right - this sleekly dangerous beast is going to shatter covalent bonds, rend atoms, and cause all six flavors of leptons to die in agony. It is the Melkor of vacuum cleaners, a Melkor who shall crush the carcasses of dust mites beneath its omni-directional rubber wheels and cast them into the outer void rather than the other way around.
Yes. This vacuum cleaner could stand up to Eru himself and win.
I have to be careful, though - if I run it too long, the beast could attain sentience beyond its instinctive abhorrence of dust mites, mold spores, and other allergens, and then I'd have to face it down.
And this motherfucker has a thirty-five foot cord.
No. I wouldn't get three steps towards my front door before I'd be sucked into its gravity well, go through the rapidly ensuing wormhole, and wind up in some baby universe where Dermatophagoides have evolved to gigantic proportions (much like those giant sea scorpions that polluted the Zeitgeist a couple of years ago when they were discovered) and have decided to forgo the eating of shed human skin cells in lieu of just eating us whole instead.
But I won't go down without a fight. Dermatophagoides farinae? You little vessels of misery currently riding the dust bunnies like lightning?
Yes, YOU, the source of so much misery:
It's on, you eldritch, eyeless little motherfuckers. Your days are numbered. I'm going to sacrifice you to the Beast and then burn the HEPA bag when I'm done.*
Oh, and it has a corner attachment with vicious dust-mite-obliterating teeth - don't think you can hide there.
In fact, I need a name for my new lion rampant. Suggestions, flist?
Well, I might as well do a Grab Bag Sunday entry, eh?
WHOA:
State of Mind's new video for "City on Fire":
Click to viewWHOA. WHOA. Can I use "awesome" here, or have I filled my quota for the week?
That's PNC on vocals there, and thank every deity ever that SOM have a new full-length release coming out. State of Mind usually does great videos (you know, on top of putting out absolutely gorgeously triptastic music - "Deadzone" is still one of my favorite tracks of the last five years, along with "Sunking") - if you haven't seen the Aleksander Sakowski-directed video for Sunking, it's a gorgeous song and a profoundly evocative video done with stop motion animation and wow, it's a creepily lonely little landscape on a lonely little asteroid with a lonely little thing trying to...you know what, just watch it.
Conversely, in the Stop Me From Searching My Old YouTube Favorites Again department, I cannot convey how much this made me laugh:
insanitykun will understand:
It keeps getting funnier every time I watch it.
Fashion:
Have I declared my love lately for designer Pinar Eris?
No? Well, I need to:
I wish her collections were larger. She does, however, take custom orders and will do custom sizing to whatever your heart's desire. She's quite reasonable, too - I highly suggest checking out her website and her shop on Etsy (those steampunk plaid skirts have me DROOLING).
I found her through one of my secret weapons in my fashion arsenal, that being a website that carries all manner of up and coming underground/street designers (where the hell do you think I found my Anna May Wong hoodie from?).
So, solicits are out for October 2009, and I'll have to do a whole SOLICIT-O-RAMA post tomorrow, but here's my favorite out of the bunch:
The new Sorcerer Supreme: That's DOCTOR Voodoo to you, bitches:
Two Three things about this cover:
1. It's done by Marko Djurdjevic, so it's very pretty, but:
2. Now that Jericho Drumm is the new Sorcerer Supreme, can we please get him OUT of the clichéd Voodoo getup? He's been wearing normal street clothes now for years.
3. Actually, he is wearing the Eye of Agamotto (hell, the Vishaunti invented bling), so that should be a shrill warning klaxon that Jericho has now been officially sanctioned by the Ancient One to go out and kill the goddamn Hood.
Now let's see what Frencesco Mattina's been up to in Photoshop!
War Machine #11:
...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes. Because the best way to immobilize James Rhodes in full War Machine mode is with chains.
I've been meaning, by the way, to to bring your attention to the fact that Dynamite has an upcoming Thulsa Doom miniseries coming up. It's being written by Arvid Nelson, so I have NO idea what to expect.
I love this cover to #2 by Alex Ross:
LOOK, LOOK, NO VIXENIFICATION.
The series is part of a development package for the upcoming film where Djimon Hounsou will be playing Thulsa Doom - we hope.
The cover to issue #1? While technically well executed, I most emphatically do NOT love it for reasons that should perhaps be obvious.
Finally, random Noel Fielding:
LULZ.
Oh, hey, how about that Alice in Wonderland teaser trailer?
...Burton spent ALL THAT MONEY on CGI and this is all we get?
(* Since I just finished Joe Hill's The Heart-Shaped Box, this is pretty much a universal guarantee that I will soon be haunted by the spirits of all the dust mites that I'm about to vacuum up, burn, and consign to dust mite oblivion.)