Hookups and Emoticons [3]
Title: Hookups and Emoticons
Author: k_chan91
Disclaimer: Last Christmas I wished I could own Yunho...but I guess I was a naughty girl...T.T
Pairings: Yoosu (friends...?), HyukSu, Yunjae, Jaemin, KiMin, HanSiChul
Length: [3/?]
Genre: crack, romance
Rating: PG/PG-13
Warning: Some language, some mentions of smex, Chat world!
Summary:
Junsu: 8D
Yoochun: >.>
Yunho: <3 JJ 4evah
Jaejoong: Omg~
Changmin: I pwnz
Making and breaking relationships has never been this instant~
1 - Storytelling and Chinese Accents || 2 - Corndogs and O's ||
More crack/fluff/romance/:D fics at dbkrackweens
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Chapter 3 - Money and Bambi
Thursday, November 5, 4:12PM
***Chunderful has signed in
***SUnny has signed in
***Yunbi has signed in
Chunderful: Whoa. Who's the intruder?
SUnny: Your face
Yunbi: Hi
Chunderful: Ouch
Yunbi: ...All I said was Hi...
Chunderful: Not you. Junsu
Chunderful: Who are you?
SUnny: Well if you'd stop being an idiot, I'll tell you.
Chunderful: ...
Chunderful: ...Well...? Aren't you going to tell me?
SUnny: No. Cuz you'll never stop being an idiot. Til you die.
Chunderful: Ouch!
Chunderful: That was to Junsu, not whosyourfaceis.
Yunbi: ....whosyourfaceis....?
SUnny: YOOCHUN THIS IS YOUR CLASS PRESIDENT AND MY FRIEND YUNHO
Yunbi: Hi
Chunderful: Oh, how do you do?
Chunderful: *shakes hand*
Yunbi: ...*shakes...hand*...
Chunderful: Ah, such a weak handshake...tsk tsk
Yunbi: Hey!
SUnny: Chun, stop it! He's just as competitive as me. He'll, like, find out where you live so he can defeat you by shaking your hand til you shrivel up or something
Chunderful: o.o Oh. My bad, dude.
Yunbi: No problem, Yoochun
Chunderful: How do you know my real name????????? O.O
SUnny: I just typed it....several times.....
Yunbi: I'm class president. I know everyone
Chunderful: Oh, really???? Then how come I don't know you????
Yunbi: .....You don't know me?
SUnny: YOOCHUN! D8<
Chunderful: WHAT???
SUnny: *sigh* Nevermind. Okay, so about raping Jaejoong
Chunderful: NEITHER OF YOU ARE GOING ANYWHERE NEAR JAEJOONG'S BUTTHOLE!!!!!!!
Chunderful: *prepares the flamethrower*
SUnny: Shut up. I was just kidding. =.=
Yunbi: Yeah, I don't really want to rape Jaejoong.....Just....
Chunderful: Just feel him up a bit??
SUnny: CHUN! *barks at chu*
Chunderful: Hey! No barking or scary face!
SUnny: D8< *bark bark BARK*
Chunderful: NOOOOOOOES!!
Yunbi: ...
SUnny: Okay anyway :D
SUnny: I haven't finished telling you guys about my bathroom plan so shut up and listen~
Chunderful: Bathroom plan....
Yunbi: Yeah.....about that....I don't know if it will work...
SUnny: ...T.T But.....why.....?
Chunderful: WHO MAKES LOVEYKISSYFACE IN A BATHROOM???????
Yunbi: Yeah. What he said
Chunderful: Thanks~
Yunbi: No problem~
Chunderful: :D
Yunbi: ^^
Chunderful: I like this dude~
SUnny: Most people do.....since he's CLASS PRESIDENT and all.....>.>
Chunderful: Can I marry him? :'D
Yunbi: xD
SUnny: NO! Yunho is for Jaejoong. Jaejoong is for Yunho. Stick to the original Yunjae plan! xO
Chunderful: Pssh. It's obviously a Jaeho plan
SUnny: Psh! Shut up! Yunho is WAY manlier than Jaejoong. YUNJAE.
Chunderful: JAEHO. You don't even know Jae. He's plenty manly. Just ignore the face, ignore it!
SUnny: D:< Who CARES how manly your Joongie is when my Yunnie is the manliest man evah~
Chunderful: Lies! You just wait til you meet Jae. He's. Awesome.
SUnny: Not awesomer than Yunho! Right, Yunho?!
Yunbi: ...
SUnny: Right! >:|
SUnny: Yunho tops all the way!
Yunbi: Um, I'm not really interested in that aspect just yet....but...
Chunderful: Boo! Why would Jae want Yunho's smelly wiener up his bootay? Jae is totally dominant. Totally. Once he accidentally brushed by me and I totally fell down
SUnny: Psh! That just makes you clumsy.
Chunderful: Nuh-uh. He is. Cuz he fell too. But he's still manly~
SUnny: NoT!
Chunderful: YeS!
SUnny: noT!
Chunderful: yeS!
SUnny: nOOt!
Chunderful: ...WTF is a noot?
SUnny: o.o"
Yunbi: Guys! Shut up!
Chunderful: o.o"
SUnny: o.o""
Yunbi: I just...
Yunbi: I really like Jaejoong. I've been watching him for a while and...he's really my type. And he's nice and talented and beautiful and.... Aaaaah, he makes me lose my mind.
Chunderful: BEEP. Wrong.
Yunbi: Huh?
SUnny: Yeah. Huh? o.o"""
Chunderful: Jae hates when people call him 'beautiful' instead of something more manly. Don't do it.
Chunderful: He'd bite your kneecap or something
SUnny: o.o"""""
Yunbi: Sooooooo, how about handsome?
Chunderful: ....o.O Just stick with hott.
Yunbi: Hot. Got it
Chunderful: Not hot. Hott.
Yunbi: ...How does that make a difference in a face to face conversation?
Chunderful: I'm his friend, so do it! Just think this way and Jae will be yours in no time!
Yunbi: Ah. Got it.
Chunderful: ...Hmmmmmmm...
Yunbi: Hmmm?
SUnny: Hbmmm? o.o"""""""
Chunderful: I'm just thinking...
SUnny: *Hmmmm
Chunderful: Jae doesn't really have a type that he likes but...I dunno if you're compatible enough for him. I don't want my friend getting mixed up with the wrong guy and getting bored or hurt, okay?
Yunbi: Okay.
Chunderful: OKAY!?!??!
Yunbi: ......O...kay.......Got it.
Chunderful: Good. Okay. So tell me a little about yourself
Yunbi: Well, I've got good grades in school so if Jaejoong would need any help in any subject, I'd be the guy to look for. And...um...I like sports but I'm mostly involved in academic clubs. My mom's pretty picky, you understand. And....um....I have a dog. His name is Taepoong.
Chunderful: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Yunbi: ...
SUnny: RUDE! D:<
Chunderful: I gotta tellz ya, man. You gotta be more cocky than that.
Yunbi: Cocky...Like arrogant?
Chunderful: durrz~ My Jae likes a confident man. Doesn't matter what you do as long as you're confident. Number 1 Jae Rule. Write it down
Yunbi: Oh, I've been taking notes.
Chunderful: ...Okay then.
SUnny: I told you he's smart~ ;D
Chunderful: That's so awesome.
Chunderful: By the way, what's your screen name mean?
SUnny: JunSU in the SUNLIGHT! :D
SUnny: <3
Chunderful: NOT CHU! HIM!
SUnny: D:
Yunbi: My name, of course, and Bambi
Chunderful: ...
Yunbi: You know. The deer. In that movie.
Chunderful: ...
Yunbi: It's always been my favorite Disney classic. So sad, yet so inspiring~
Chunderful: Stop it....
Yunbi: I even have a stuffed animal Bambi. I sleep with it sometimes when it's cold.
Chunderful: You should be impeached from class office
Yunbi: Eh??
Chunderful: You want to steal my Jaejoong's heart when your own heart is as soft as a lily petal???? Get out of my sight!
SUnny: He's not in your sight. o.o
Yunbi: I'm not in your sight....
Yunbi: What? Does Jaejoong not like Bambi??
Chunderful: Not the point! You said you were manly!
Yunbi: I didn't say that. Junsu did.
SUnny: He is. ;D
Chunderful: You call a Bambi-loving softy a man????
SUnny: ...I've never minded the Bambi. It's cute! <3
Chunderful: NOOO! NOT CUTE!!
Chunderful: Please tell me you agree with me, Yunho. Do it or I'm not helping you any further
Yunbi: ....Okay....It's not....cute.
Yunbi: Better I never meant it to be cute. I just like Bambi
Yunbi: I can't help what I like
Chunderful: You like Jaejoong, right?
Yunbi: Of course.
Chunderful: So are you willing to give up Bambi for him?
Yunbi: Well if he doesn't like me more for who I am then I don't see the point...
Chunderful: DO YOU LIKE JAEJOONG???? D8<
SUnny: Uh-oh...Scary face.... ._.
Yunbi: YES!
Chunderful: Then agree to be Jaeho
Yunbi: ....Excuse me?
Chunderful: Agree. To. Be. Jaeho.
Chunderful: You're officially a bottom man in my eyes.
Chunderful: Told you Jae was manlier, Su~
SUnny: Bambi is manly! D< He grows up and becomes king of the forest!
Yunbi: I'll agree, okay? Just...introduce me to Jaejoong. Please
Yunbi: Please, please, please.
Chunderful: *sigh* At this point....I dunno....
SUnny: Chun! D':
Yunbi: But....you HAVE to.
Yunbi: I can't stop thinking about him
Yunbi: He's like a drug. And not the prescribed kind
Yunbi: Like....the deadly kind
Yunbi: But I like it
Yunbi: SOOOO much
Yunbi: I can't even watch TV anymore because whenever there's a kiss scene I think of tasting Jaejoong's lips and then I just sit there and daydream and before I know it, I've missed the entire episode of Maknae Rebellion.
Yunbi: That sucks, man. It's a good show
Yunbi: I just....need to get this tension out of my system
Yunbi: Even if he doesn't like me back, even if we get together and then realize we're not meant for each other...I have to try
Yunbi: I masturbate three times a day now
Chunderful: ...
Yunbi: I have to. Blue balls is not fun. You should know, you're a guy, too
Yunbi: I wake up every morning with a hard-on and I end up stroking myself from my bed to my bathroom and then finish up in the shower. And even that doesn't seem like enough
SUnny: ...
Yunbi: And then...it never fails....the very first time I see him during school every day...it happens. Then I have to excuse myself and run to the bathroom again
Yunbi: And if someone's already in the bathroom then I have to find another private place
Yunbi: The janitor's closet is good. Did you know it's sound proof in there? And there's lots of towels.
Yunbi: But once there was a janitor IN the janitor's closet
Yunbi: So I had to jerk off outside in a bush
Yunbi: And finally when I go to bed, thoughts of Jaejoong swarm through my head and it gets so bad that I absolutely can't go to sleep without getting myself off once. Maybe even twice.
Yunbi: Then I sleep. And I dream about him
Yunbi: Which explains why I wake up every morning with a boner.
Yunbi: You gotta help me
Chunderful: Dude...
Yunbi: PLEASE. I'll go crazy.
Chunderful: Yunho....
Yunbi: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. I don't know what love feels like, I mean, I'm only 17, but I think I'll know once I have a chance with Jaejoong
SUnny: Yunnie~ o.o
Yunbi: LEASE give me that chance!
Chunderful: LOVERBOY!!!!??
Yunbi: *PLEASE
Yunbi: I'll do absolutely anything to meet Jaejoong just one time. I just get so shy when he's around. Dude, I'm NEVER shy. I'm class president! Why do I fail so much????
Chunderful: A;IFJA;KDJ,;ASFJKA;DFJLALSHUTUP!!!!!
SUnny: Earth to Dude~
Yunbi: I'll even pay you, just PLEASE help me out PLEASE!!
Chunderful: SHUT U
Chunderful: Oh, really??
SUnny: >.>
Chunderful: Well, we can have that arranged, my friend. How much you got?
Yunbi: Well, I don't earn much from my job at the animal shelter but I'm sure I can manage.
SUnny: CHUN! D8<
Chunderful: *flinches* Okay okay. =.=
Chunderful: *sigh* I'll help you for free.....
Chunderful: Cuz I'm a pussy
SUnny: :D
Chunderful: xP
SUnny: <3
Yunbi: Are you sure? Cuz it's no problem. I can pay you by tomorrow
Chunderful: OH! Chest pains. WHYYYY?!?!?!
SUnyy: RAWR! DDDDDDDD8<
Chunderful: OKAYZ! Just stop with the scary face! Keep your money in your pocket, man
SUnny: <3 <3
Yunbi: Omg thanks so much.
Yunbi: You're so awesome
Chunderful: I know...
Yunbi: And Junsu, you're the best, too
SUnny: <3<3<3
Chunderful: Okay! Enough!
Yunbi: Right. Now where do we begin?
SUnny: Bathroom plan!
Chunderful: No!
Yunbi: No!
Chunderful: First and foremost....change your name
Yunbi: But....I like Yunho. My dad gave me my name...
SUnny: It is a nice name. ^^
Yunbi: Thanks~
Chunderful: NO! Not your given name. Your internet name!
Yunbi: You don't like Yunbi....?
Chunderful: I don't like Bambi
Yunbi: *GASP*
SUnny: *gasp* D':
Chunderful: You have to change it to something more....sensual. You've seen Jaejoong. Right...?
Yunbi: O...M...G...
Yunbi: He's sex on legs
Yunbi: But don't get me wrong, that's not the only reason I like him
Chunderful: Yeah, yeah. So, since you're CLEARLY the uke in this relationship, you gotta follow his lead. His sexy lead
Yunbi: O...kay....
Chunderful: Think of something more...'come hither'
Yunbi: Ummmmm....'Yunnie'???
SUnny: Done! :D I like it!
Chunderful: =.= TRY AGAIN
Yunbi: Ummmm...'Ho'
SUnny: o.O
Chunderful: Exactly what type of message are you trying to get across???
Yunbi: I don't...know...
Chunderful: AGAIN!
Yunbi: YunMoon
Chunderful: Nope. Just keep throwing them out there til I stop you, kay?
SUnny: *waits*
Yunbi: YunMan
SUnny: *munches on popcorn*
Yunbi: YunHOLE
SUnny: *chokes on popcorn* O.O"
Yunbi: YeahYunho
Yunbi: OhHo
Yunbi: HoHo
Yunbi: UknowYunho
Chunderful: UGH! What kind of name is that???
Chunderful: UknowYunho?!
Chunderful: Ew!
Chunderful: Sorry. I wasn't supposed to respond to your puke-worthy names. Keep going.
SUnny: I liked it....T.T
Yunbi: Yunderful
SUnny: o.O"
Yunbi: Sorry. Ummm...
Chunderful: YumYunYum
Yunbi: Yunday
Chunderful: Shut up. I did it for you
Yunbi: What does Yunday mean?? Sunday? Hyundai?
Chunderful: STOP IT!!!
Yunbi: ....What???
Chunderful: I figured it out for you. 'YumYunYum'
Yunbi: Hmmmmm. Okay. But...can't I just use 'YumYun?' It's shorter
Chunderful: No. YumYunYum. Go with the concept. It's like your surrounding yourself with sensuality, implying that your are simply irresistible and delicious. Which increases the cock factor. Got it?
Yunbi: Cock factor???
SUnny: O__O
Chunderful: Cock. Cocky. Arrogance. What?
SUnny: .__.
Yunbi: Alright....then....
YumYunYum: How does it look?
SUnny: Hmmm...a little tight around the hips
Chunderful: It's okay. Just don't change it.
YumYunYum: Ya know...I already feel closer to Jaejoong now
YumYunYum: Thanks, guys
SUnny: AWWWZ! 8'D *hugglez you*
Chunderful: No problem, man. Now both of you get off the internet. I've got homework to do
SUnny: LIES. D<
Chunderful: NOT lies! I thought it was my job to keep Yunho on Jaejoong's mind, riiiiight?
SUnny: ....Oooohz ;D
Chunderful: So I'm gonna go call Jae and talk nonstop about whatshisface
SUnny: YUNHO! D<
Chunderful: No.....not quite...
YumYunYum: Umm....You're gonna talk about YumYunYum....?
Chunderful: Thanks the spirit!
Chunderful: See you guyz. I'm gonna go spend hours talking to my best friend Jaejoong about life and YumYunYum.
SUnny: Have fun~ Do a good job~ :D
YumYunYum: Yeah, man. And thanks again
Chunderful: *Ahem* I said I'm going to go call Jaejoong.
Chunderful: And I probably won't get any sleep tonight
Chunderful: Because I'll be talking to him the whole time
Chunderful: And we're so close so it might get too deep and neither of us will want to hang up til morning
Chunderful: And we'll grow closer with each passing sentiment of love
Chunderful: Because it'll be so far into the night, we'll be exhausted and we won't know what we're saying
Chunderful: And the conversation will get deeper and more personal...
Chunderful: But neither of us will hang up...because we're best friends....
Chunderful: ...
YumYunYum: ...?
SUnny: Oh! Hyukjae's at the door! Play time~
Chunderful: ...
SUnny: Don't worry, Chun. I'll leave aside some time to do my homework well so you can copy it tomorrow at school
SUnny: If I'm not too sore to go to school ;D
YumYunYum: Ugh. I hate when you talk like that, Su
Chunderful: Me too
Chunderful: I mean QUIT TRYING SO HARD TO PLEASE ME! We all know I'm too awesome for you!!!! Don't flaunt your sexuality so much just BEGGING for a chance to get me behind you bucking like a wild horse. STOP!!!
SUnny: =.= I'm gonna get the door before Hyukjae knocks the hinges off.
SUnny: He's strong~<3
SUnny: No matter how skinny he looks~<3
***SUnny has signed out
Chunderful: Psh. Loser.
YumYunYum: Thanks so much! I really feel like I should repay you, but since Junsu said it wasn't necessary, I guess I'll just send you my appreciation. THANKS
Chunderful: Huh....wait.....no! MONEYYYY!!!!!!
***YumYunYum has signed out
Chunderful: ...
Chunderful: *sigh* I'm the loser
***Chunderful has signed out
Chapter 4
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Lil brother Min will show up soon. >D Jaejoong, too~ Can you guys guess their personalities so far in this fic?
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