Rock My World (Chapter 5)
Pairing: JongKey
Rating: R / Soft NC-17
Genre: Rock musical!AU, Romance & Drama
Disclaimer: I wish.
Summary: When Onew leaves the Korean production of RoA, Jonghyun is promoted to lead singer in his place and a new actor is also hired. Sparks fly, drama ensues - Rock & Roll.
Rock and roll, hey
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now
Give me something to sing about.
- Paramore, Crushcrushcrush
Prologue || 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || Epilogue
__________________
Recap: "Fine, but text me when you get home."
Rock My World - Chapter 5
Jonghyun was jolted awake by the sound of his cell phone vibrating against the kitchen table.
“Hello?” he picked up with a hoarse voice.
“Jjong? It’s me.” The elder would have recognized that voice anywhere. “I’m sorry I didn’t call last night - I fell asleep.”
It took a moment for Jonghyun’s still fogged-with-sleep brain to process the other’s sentence as he glanced towards his clock to confirm that it was in fact late morning.
“Did I wake you up?” Kibum asked, interrupting Jonghyun’s silence.
“Don’t worry about it,” the elder simply said. “I’ll see you tonight, yeah?”
The other boy hummed in agreement and Jonghyun thought that waking up to such a sound was something he could definitely get used to.
The lead was a bit stiff throughout his performance that evening - falling asleep on a chair wasn’t exactly comfortable or pleasant - while Key was fluid and precise in his movements, like always. Halfway through the second act, Jonghyun began spying on the boy performing on stage from between the curtains on the side, admiring the way the spotlights shone onto his black locks, glossy pants and how it made him look almost surreal. He was as beautiful as ever and Jonghyun couldn’t help the smile that broke across his face when the boy looked to the side and locked eyes with him, gaze literally sparkling. That’s when Jonghyun got an idea.
He dragged Kibum up to the observatory that night, much later after they had cleaned up and changed. They were both drained and sleepy, but the view of Seoul at night was impossible to resist and, as it turned out, so was the view of Kibum. The boy looked pale and slightly tired under the moon and city lights, but his eyes were bright and Jonghyun felt himself falling for him even more, felt something spread in his chest and come to rest in the pit of his stomach where it spread a reassuring warmth. As expected, Key was just as beautiful then as he had been under the stage lights.
“It’s so pretty,” the boy spoke in a murmur, both hands grasping the railing on the edge of the tall building.
“You’ve never been here before?” Jonghyun asked while he smiled to himself, glad that he had gotten the idea. The city was quite a sight from there - so was Kibum.
“No,” Key answered and he tore his gaze from the sparkling horizon to glance at Jonghyun who was standing behind him.
Jonghyun closed the distance between them, reaching out to wrap his arm around the other’s waist as he leaned onto the railing. He didn’t think about it when he leaned in to place a small kiss on the other’s cheek and saw Kibum’s smile widen a bit. Being with Key had always felt natural, right to him.
“Kibum?”
“Hmm?” the other hummed, eyes not leaving the stars.
“Would you... would you be mine?”
Key turned his head towards the elder, his slight crooked smile showing off one dimple.
“I thought I was already,” he answered, smirking now.
“I meant... officially,” Jonghyun said, feeling slightly embarrassed all of a sudden under the other’s penetrating gaze. “I really like you,” he blurted out before he could stop himself, feeling his cheeks heat up.
Kibum gave into a small smile and looked at him for a while, thoughtful, before answering.
“Sometimes, I don’t know what to make of you,” the boy admitted, smile still in place on those gorgeous lips. “You’re so confident, but you’re also... sensitive?” he mused. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Aren’t we all?”
“I guess. But I like that. About you, I mean.”
Jonghyun simply stared at him, at those captivating eyes.
“I also like that you say things as they are,” Kibum added, his voice and smile becoming even softer. “I like you too, you know.”
That was all Jonghyun wanted, needed to hear. He leaned forward to catch the other’s lips and even though they tasted the same, this time it felt different. It was slow, almost lazy and it felt like everything a kiss between lovers should feel like. Lovers.
Jonghyun shivered at the word, as Key’s hand wandered to the front of his jacket to grip it and bring him closer. It was intimate, comforting and it implied so much more. Jonghyun wanted it, he wanted more because he could. Because he was his.
They held hands on the walk back through the empty streets to Jonghyun’s apartment, tiredness suddenly forgotten as they both knew what lied ahead. They had let their kiss on top of the observatory grow a bit too heated, had pressed their bodies a bit too close and had let hands slip under clothes to touch a bit too much skin. The blond had this urge now - it was stronger, more compelling than ever before if that was possible - and the way Kibum was pulling at his hand suggested that he felt it too. The elder had barely locked his apartment door behind them and Key was already shrugging off his jacket only to reach for Jonghyun’s belt. Clothes were soon discarded and soft lips met warm skin; by the time they fell onto the tiny bed they were already naked and breathless.
Jonghyun took his sweet time tasting Kibum, feeling every slick slide of skin, hearing his moans that shook both their bodies. He tangled his fingers in the black locks, pulling and tugging just to hear those sultry groans again before letting his palms slide down the other’s chest, alive with rushed breaths and erratic heartbeats.
And yet it was slow and good and sweet because they had time and Jonghyun wanted to remember it; everything about this first time. He wanted to remember how the beautiful boy looked while straddling his hips, the way his fists clenched, how his lips turned red when he bit them, that pure look of bliss on his face when his eyes slid shut. He could tell the younger was holding back, but then he moved his hips and it all but made his blood boil. Jonghyun found himself speeding up, his hips jerking, body alive and trembling with pure want, and the hoarse scream that ripped from Kibum’s throat almost made him come right there because it had vaguely sounded like his name mixed with a desperate plea. They could hear barking and scratching at the door but paid no mind because their minds were far, far gone, hazy with lust and pleasure as they rocked into and onto each other in the heat of the moment. Jonghyun never wanted it to end.
***
When Jonghyun rolled around in warm sheets then next morning, it took a while for his slowly-awakening mind to make sense of the arm against his back, the legs tangled with his and the clammy feeling on his skin.
“Good morning,” a low and slightly gruff voice greeted.
Jonghyun turned to his side at once only to be met with a smiling face and dark, sleepy eyes.
“You stayed,” was all the elder could think to say, letting a smile of his own creep onto his puffy lips.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
Key let his hand slide down the other’s back as he spoke, stopping over his butt to knead it playfully. Jonghyun squirmed under the touch and rolled onto his back, bringing the younger on top of him swiftly and letting out a gentle chuckle. Key crossed his arms over Jonghyun’s chest and settled there, having no intention of moving away.
“You might want to check on Roo, though,” the younger boy pondered. “What was all the barking for?”
“You’re kind of loud,” Jonghyun explained, stretching a bit while he poked a finger into the other’s side. “She must have thought I was hurting you.”
“Well. There's such a thing as actual lube instead of lotion,” Kibum reproached and Jonghyun had a hard time figuring out if he was serious or not. He hadn’t complained last night - if anything, his moans had suggested the opposite.
“I don’t have lube,” he answered, a teasing smirk appearing at the corners of his mouth. “I was perfectly straight before your sexy ass walked into my life.”
“Perfectly straight? Yeah right,” the younger scoffed with a roll of his eyes.
Jonghyun gave him a please-do-explain look, but his hands were betraying him in favour of hooking around the thin boy’s small waist.
“Jjong,” and Kibum sighed, because wasn’t it obvious? “You have a puppy. A girl puppy. And your apartment is clean, your pants are skinnier than an idol’s and you have nail polish-”
“I have to!” the elder cut in.
“-you love ballads-”
“W-what?”
“I found your iPod in your dressing room,” the other admitted, a sly look on his face. “Playlists don’t lie.”
Jonghyun frowned but let it go because Key then started nuzzling along his jaw, nipping at his neck between chuckles to make more love marks.
They showered and Kibum spent no less than fifteen minutes standing in front of Jonghyun’s small closet, trying to find clothes that would fit his taller build and look decent. The blond was in his kitchen, humming to himself as he made breakfast - or lunch, rather. They didn’t have a performance that day and he had insisted that Key borrow his clothes so as to not have to go home to change. Kibum managed to dig up a pair of longer jeans that looked like they hadn’t been worn much and threw on a random t-shirt before joining the other for lunch.
“I hope you still like ramyeon,” the elder said as he shut off the stove.
Key laughed and Jonghyun poured the noodles into two bowls, handing one over to the boy along with a pair of chopsticks. Kibum kept laughing to himself quietly as he took the first bite out of a soggy mouthful of noodles and Jonghyun could only chuckle back, inexplicably content.
“I wasn’t kidding when I said I couldn’t cook,” he reminded the younger, who nodded sheepishly in agreement.
It was never awkward with Kibum, Jonghyun thought. Maybe it was because they were both naturally talkative people, but the blond felt as if they had known each other forever. It was that easy to talk to him, to be with him and even to kiss or make love to him. Jonghyun wanted it all and, honestly, he was beginning to think he needed it, too. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt lonely.
“You’re a great actor, by the way,” Jonghyun complimented when the conversation turned to their musical and performances because in his eyes, it was more than true. “You give good performances.”
“Thanks,” the younger said, sincere. “You too.”
The elder perked an eyebrow, suddenly.
“Where?” he asked, amused at Kibum’s confused expression. “On stage or in bed?”
Kibum rolled his eyes with a huff, but a slight smile was undeniably stretching his lips.
“Both.”
“Really?” Jonghyun’s fast response gave his eagerness away and only made Kibum smile wider.
“I could have done without the biting, though.”
“No, you could not.”
“Didn’t you hear that coordi noona? I’m the one who’s supposed to bite your ‘cute ass’,” Key said, emphasizing the last words by making quotations marks with his fingers.
“So you think it’s cute?”
Kibum rolled his eyes and Jonghyun was truly starting to get a kick out of it every time he earned himself that annoyed yet fond gesture. What could he say? Key had him under his spell since the very beginning.
Jonghyun ended up fetching his laptop - it was old and big but at least it was reliable - taking Kibum’s advice to heart and they browsed the web in search of lube that they could order.
“I didn’t know there were so many kinds...” Jonghyun muttered between giggles. The younger kept clutching onto his arm and bursting into fits of laughter at some of the more original or eccentric brand names and flavours.
They spent almost an hour surfing the web, browsing online sex shops and when Jonghyun’s pants had grown almost painfully tight, he snapped his laptop shut and dragged his boyfriend onto his leather couch for a long make out session, happily ignoring the curious puppy pawing at the edge of the couch.
***
Jonghyun had never slept less. More often than not, Kibum would end the day in Jonghyun’s bed. They slowly but surely got to know each other - what made them moan, scream, shiver and come, what made the other beg for more or cry out loud. They would talk about anything and everything into the wee hours of the morning, side by side on Jonghyun’s small bed. Sometimes, there would be teasing and unashamed cockiness, other times, sweetness and tender affection. They both liked it that way.
(Roo soon got used to the noise, too. She stopped barking and contented herself with simply lying by the bedroom door, guarding her masters like the good puppy she was.)
Even when the younger boy wasn’t in his bed, Kibum would invade Jonghyun’s thoughts and keep him from sleep - not that the blond particularly minded.
Their director did, though. During rehearsals, the lead seemed absent-minded, almost distracted and everyone seemed to notice (well, everyone except the boy himself). They let it go easily because Jonghyun was still giving great performances, but they couldn’t help but notice that the singer’s voice was becoming strained, tired almost. It left the cast and crew puzzled since Kim Jonghyun had never, never had problems with his voice before. The producers even began to wonder if he was being overworked.
What they didn’t know was that Jonghyun’s voice only became huskier after hot make outs, rushed blow jobs or quick fixes with Key before and between scenes - that deserted bathroom had decidedly never been more useful. The lead was being a bit careless and Kibum meant to talk to him about it, that he shouldn’t neglect his job and voice only for him, but every time the blond backed him up against a wall or let his black-nailed, leather-bound hands drag over his skin, his thoughts were way too scattered and turned on to think clearly or sensibly.
It took a visit from Onew to pull Jonghyun back down to Earth, and the fall was rather unpleasant.
Jonghyun was in the dressing room, next to a silent Jino as the blond fought with his bracelets to unbuckle and untie them from his wrists. Had he not been so busy with his obstinate wardrobe, he would have noticed that his cast mate was sending him sidelong glances - and not in an innocent way.
The lead was halfway done when he heard a knock on the door. He smiled to himself, thinking it was Key but was genuinely surprised to find Onew walking into the small lounge. The ex-lead greeted both Jonghyun and Jino, who was thankfully leaving and it relieved Jonghyun because there was something slightly unnerving about the boy’s presence. The blond considered himself as easy-going, yet he had never seemed to be able to talk to Jino comfortably. They were just so different.
“Long time no see,” Jonghyun said once he and Onew were the only ones left in the room.
“Yeah, sorry about that,” and Onew seemed honestly sorry, but the other couldn’t hold it against him - he knew SM must have been keeping their new recruit very busy.
“Don’t worry about it,” he reassured with his usual wide grin. “So how’s the idol life?”
“I’m hardly an idol,” Onew argued, smiling sheepishly. “I’m mostly just training, sometimes recording.”
“Really? Do you even need training?” It was a bit hard to believe that Onew, Jonghyun’s mentor of sorts, needed training in the arts of performance. He was already a seasoned pro.
“I do,” Onew chuckled, “because apparently they want to put me in a boy band.”
Jonghyun mouth fell open. Onew? In a boy band? Sure, he had a clear and sweet voice but rock suited him more in the blond’s opinion. Besides, he thought his elder was a bit too... particular - even odd at times - to fit into the pop star mould.
“I... wasn’t expecting that,” Jonghyun uttered after a while.
“Jjong, it’s SM. What else would they have me do?”
The blond could only nod to that.
“It’s okay, it’s what I want.”
“Oh,” was all Jonghyun could say, rather dumbly.
It was a bit awkward, and it didn’t help when Onew let out that slight nervous laugh of his. But all uneasiness subsided once they started talking about the show, common ground to them both.
“I like the new scenes,” Onew shared and it made Jonghyun’s chest swell with pride to know that his elder approved. “You were great too, but Jjong, you’ve got to watch after your voice more.”
Jonghyun looked away - he himself wasn’t pleased with his performance that night, since his voice had cracked thrice, courtesy of an encounter with Key earlier backstage and of what was still dripping down his throat. Onew was right, as he always was, but the blond didn’t like how it made him feel like a scolded child; he didn’t want to be reminded of his faults because he was well aware of them already. He somewhat knew he had been neglecting his voice and job lately, but really, how could he not when it was for Kibum? Jonghyun wasn’t perfect, he never claimed to be, and one of his weaknesses was being unable to deny the boy, his boyfriend, anything.
“What happened tonight? You sounded strained,” Onew spoke and Jonghyun knew it was the truth. He simply didn’t want to admit it.
“I’m just a bit tired.”
“Then get some rest, it’s important,” the elder lectured and the other only nodded to get it over with.
“How’s the new cast?” the blond asked at once, eager to change the subject and even more eager to hear his ex-costar’s opinion on a certain boy.
“There are more dancers, it’s weird,” Onew said with a chuckle. “I guess I’m not used to it.”
“And?”
“Jino’s really good.”
Jonghyun resisted the urge to roll his eyes; Onew wasn’t being very perceptive. Either that or he was in fact blind and hadn’t noticed a gorgeous boy reciting lines and dancing in front of him for two and some hours.
Onew suddenly frowned, eyes fixed somewhere beyond Jonghyun’s shoulder and the younger grew wary - it wasn’t an expression he had seen often on the other’s usually cheerful face.
“That Key guy,” the elder began, an unreadable expression in his gaze, “he seems...”
Amazing, no? Jonghyun almost blurted out, but the way Onew’s features had darkened kept him quiet.
“Special.”
“What do you mean?” There was a queasy feeling claiming the younger’s insides.
“Jonghyun, I’ll be honest here,” and if the use of his full first name hadn’t been worrying enough, Onew’s tone certainly was, “I just spoke to a few people and, you know, the crew is talking... about you... and Key.”
It was like a slap in the face to Jonghyun - had they really been that careless that people were suspecting something? What did Onew’s sentence even imply?
“What?” Jonghyun only trusted himself to say that one word.
“They say you’re very close.”
“We are, but-”
“Listen, it’s none of my business but as your friend I’m asking you to be careful with... these things,” Onew spoke solemnly. “In the end, it’s your decision but please, think it through.”
Jonghyun was too dumbstruck to say anything; instead he stared back at the elder with large eyes. Key couldn’t have picked a worst time to come in through the door.
“Hi?” the black-haired boy greeted uncertainly to Onew’s back, sort of befuddled by the intense silence in the room.
The ex-lead turned around at once and, in a flash, the frown on his face had been replaced by a wide and welcoming smile that did nothing to reassure Jonghyun.
“Hi,” the elder greeted back politely with a small bow that Key returned. “I don’t think we’ve met, I’m Onew.”
“Key,” the boy said as they shook hands.
“So,” the elder said not without a certain awkwardness, “how do you like working here?”
“I love it.”
There was an uncomfortable silence - Onew was always a bit stiff around people he wasn’t familiar with - and had Jonghyun not been so troubled, he would have found it highly amusing.
“I was just about to leave,” Onew said suddenly, a bit forcefully because there was a restless and impatient look in Key’s eyes. (How Jonghyun could handle the boy was way beyond him. Something told him Key required some getting used to.)
When only the two lovers were left in the room after quick goodbyes, Key turned to the blond.
“He seems nice. Weird, but nice,” he admitted.
When Jonghyun didn’t smile, Key knew something was wrong. He decided to brush it off for now, preferring to wait until they were somewhere more private to ask questions. It wasn’t until Jonghyun had locked the door to his apartment behind them that Kibum let himself speak freely.
“Is something wrong?” he questioned tentatively as he stepped out of his shoes and ignored the happy puppy rushing around his feet.
Jonghyun locked eyes with him for a few seconds before turning away again.
“It’s just... something Onew said,” the elder confessed and Key frowned, eyes becoming slanted.
“What did he say?”
Jonghyun threw him a quick glance again before sighing, and Key knew at once that it was serious. He followed the elder to the kitchen where the blond pulled out two glasses from the cupboard and filled them with water.
“Well, for one,” Jonghyun began in a low voice, “I know that I haven’t been giving great performances lately and sort of... slacking.”
How that tied in with Onew’s visit escaped the younger boy but he remained quiet, intent on hearing Jonghyun through.
“And apparently, the crew’s catching on...” he spoke vaguely, avoiding Key’s probing gaze. “Onew said they’ve been talking about me... and you.”
Kibum really wasn’t all that surprised or shocked; he had been expecting worse.
“So?”
“So,” Jonghyun continued only to pause again because he too was wondering what it all entailed. “I guess we should be more careful?”
Kibum nodded and the elder was having a hard time deciphering his expression - it was dark and thoughtful.
“I just... don’t want to start rumours,” the elder said after a short pause. He really didn’t; he realized at once that if people found out about his relationship with a boy he could say goodbye to his future career plans in the music business. “We could lose our jobs.”
At this, Key’s eyes shot up to lock with Jonghyun’s round ones and the blond couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that they had to hide - it made him feel like they were something shameful, wrong. Since when had sharing love become sinful? How could he believe that when it felt so good?
He looked at Kibum, the young nineteen year old boy sitting on his kitchen chair in his sweats, the boy with the beautiful body and perfect face, with that pretty smile, those captivating eyes and that endearing attitude of his, and it hurt to know that they would never be able to have a normal relationship. It hurt so much.
The words “It’s not fair” fell from his lips as he felt a lonely tear glide down his cheek and Kibum was a bit taken aback at the quick change in mood. He had somehow guessed that Jonghyun was the emotional type but he had never witnessed it before and it was a bit unsettling. Still, he was up on his feet and before he knew it, he was hugging the blond to his chest.
Kibum didn’t ask what he had meant by those words because he already knew it. Instead, he rested his head on top of Jonghyun’s and held him tighter, a few tears of his own trailing down to his chin. Seeing the blond cry was heartbreaking. Jonghyun was a kid at heart, and to see that innocence through his tears as he clutched the younger’s shirt made Kibum’s heart twist and his insides churn. No, it wasn’t fair.
They held onto each other all through the night and for the first time since Jonghyun had met Key, he let himself wonder if the boy would stay by his side forever.
Previous || Next
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A/N: Thank you for reading! Yet again it occurs to me that this fic is much fluffier than what I’d originally intended. Oh well, I hope you like a bit of fluff. Also, I’m a bit curious as to whether or not you would have preferred more descriptive sexy scenes, lol. Feel free to comment.
I have yet another link to a vid I want to share ^^ : link. I love love love Jjong & Key there.
Rating: R / Soft NC-17
Genre: Rock musical!AU, Romance & Drama
Disclaimer: I wish.
Summary: When Onew leaves the Korean production of RoA, Jonghyun is promoted to lead singer in his place and a new actor is also hired. Sparks fly, drama ensues - Rock & Roll.
Rock and roll, hey
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now
Give me something to sing about.
- Paramore, Crushcrushcrush
Prologue || 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || Epilogue
__________________
Recap: "Fine, but text me when you get home."
Rock My World - Chapter 5
Jonghyun was jolted awake by the sound of his cell phone vibrating against the kitchen table.
“Hello?” he picked up with a hoarse voice.
“Jjong? It’s me.” The elder would have recognized that voice anywhere. “I’m sorry I didn’t call last night - I fell asleep.”
It took a moment for Jonghyun’s still fogged-with-sleep brain to process the other’s sentence as he glanced towards his clock to confirm that it was in fact late morning.
“Did I wake you up?” Kibum asked, interrupting Jonghyun’s silence.
“Don’t worry about it,” the elder simply said. “I’ll see you tonight, yeah?”
The other boy hummed in agreement and Jonghyun thought that waking up to such a sound was something he could definitely get used to.
The lead was a bit stiff throughout his performance that evening - falling asleep on a chair wasn’t exactly comfortable or pleasant - while Key was fluid and precise in his movements, like always. Halfway through the second act, Jonghyun began spying on the boy performing on stage from between the curtains on the side, admiring the way the spotlights shone onto his black locks, glossy pants and how it made him look almost surreal. He was as beautiful as ever and Jonghyun couldn’t help the smile that broke across his face when the boy looked to the side and locked eyes with him, gaze literally sparkling. That’s when Jonghyun got an idea.
He dragged Kibum up to the observatory that night, much later after they had cleaned up and changed. They were both drained and sleepy, but the view of Seoul at night was impossible to resist and, as it turned out, so was the view of Kibum. The boy looked pale and slightly tired under the moon and city lights, but his eyes were bright and Jonghyun felt himself falling for him even more, felt something spread in his chest and come to rest in the pit of his stomach where it spread a reassuring warmth. As expected, Key was just as beautiful then as he had been under the stage lights.
“It’s so pretty,” the boy spoke in a murmur, both hands grasping the railing on the edge of the tall building.
“You’ve never been here before?” Jonghyun asked while he smiled to himself, glad that he had gotten the idea. The city was quite a sight from there - so was Kibum.
“No,” Key answered and he tore his gaze from the sparkling horizon to glance at Jonghyun who was standing behind him.
Jonghyun closed the distance between them, reaching out to wrap his arm around the other’s waist as he leaned onto the railing. He didn’t think about it when he leaned in to place a small kiss on the other’s cheek and saw Kibum’s smile widen a bit. Being with Key had always felt natural, right to him.
“Kibum?”
“Hmm?” the other hummed, eyes not leaving the stars.
“Would you... would you be mine?”
Key turned his head towards the elder, his slight crooked smile showing off one dimple.
“I thought I was already,” he answered, smirking now.
“I meant... officially,” Jonghyun said, feeling slightly embarrassed all of a sudden under the other’s penetrating gaze. “I really like you,” he blurted out before he could stop himself, feeling his cheeks heat up.
Kibum gave into a small smile and looked at him for a while, thoughtful, before answering.
“Sometimes, I don’t know what to make of you,” the boy admitted, smile still in place on those gorgeous lips. “You’re so confident, but you’re also... sensitive?” he mused. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Aren’t we all?”
“I guess. But I like that. About you, I mean.”
Jonghyun simply stared at him, at those captivating eyes.
“I also like that you say things as they are,” Kibum added, his voice and smile becoming even softer. “I like you too, you know.”
That was all Jonghyun wanted, needed to hear. He leaned forward to catch the other’s lips and even though they tasted the same, this time it felt different. It was slow, almost lazy and it felt like everything a kiss between lovers should feel like. Lovers.
Jonghyun shivered at the word, as Key’s hand wandered to the front of his jacket to grip it and bring him closer. It was intimate, comforting and it implied so much more. Jonghyun wanted it, he wanted more because he could. Because he was his.
They held hands on the walk back through the empty streets to Jonghyun’s apartment, tiredness suddenly forgotten as they both knew what lied ahead. They had let their kiss on top of the observatory grow a bit too heated, had pressed their bodies a bit too close and had let hands slip under clothes to touch a bit too much skin. The blond had this urge now - it was stronger, more compelling than ever before if that was possible - and the way Kibum was pulling at his hand suggested that he felt it too. The elder had barely locked his apartment door behind them and Key was already shrugging off his jacket only to reach for Jonghyun’s belt. Clothes were soon discarded and soft lips met warm skin; by the time they fell onto the tiny bed they were already naked and breathless.
Jonghyun took his sweet time tasting Kibum, feeling every slick slide of skin, hearing his moans that shook both their bodies. He tangled his fingers in the black locks, pulling and tugging just to hear those sultry groans again before letting his palms slide down the other’s chest, alive with rushed breaths and erratic heartbeats.
And yet it was slow and good and sweet because they had time and Jonghyun wanted to remember it; everything about this first time. He wanted to remember how the beautiful boy looked while straddling his hips, the way his fists clenched, how his lips turned red when he bit them, that pure look of bliss on his face when his eyes slid shut. He could tell the younger was holding back, but then he moved his hips and it all but made his blood boil. Jonghyun found himself speeding up, his hips jerking, body alive and trembling with pure want, and the hoarse scream that ripped from Kibum’s throat almost made him come right there because it had vaguely sounded like his name mixed with a desperate plea. They could hear barking and scratching at the door but paid no mind because their minds were far, far gone, hazy with lust and pleasure as they rocked into and onto each other in the heat of the moment. Jonghyun never wanted it to end.
***
When Jonghyun rolled around in warm sheets then next morning, it took a while for his slowly-awakening mind to make sense of the arm against his back, the legs tangled with his and the clammy feeling on his skin.
“Good morning,” a low and slightly gruff voice greeted.
Jonghyun turned to his side at once only to be met with a smiling face and dark, sleepy eyes.
“You stayed,” was all the elder could think to say, letting a smile of his own creep onto his puffy lips.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
Key let his hand slide down the other’s back as he spoke, stopping over his butt to knead it playfully. Jonghyun squirmed under the touch and rolled onto his back, bringing the younger on top of him swiftly and letting out a gentle chuckle. Key crossed his arms over Jonghyun’s chest and settled there, having no intention of moving away.
“You might want to check on Roo, though,” the younger boy pondered. “What was all the barking for?”
“You’re kind of loud,” Jonghyun explained, stretching a bit while he poked a finger into the other’s side. “She must have thought I was hurting you.”
“Well. There's such a thing as actual lube instead of lotion,” Kibum reproached and Jonghyun had a hard time figuring out if he was serious or not. He hadn’t complained last night - if anything, his moans had suggested the opposite.
“I don’t have lube,” he answered, a teasing smirk appearing at the corners of his mouth. “I was perfectly straight before your sexy ass walked into my life.”
“Perfectly straight? Yeah right,” the younger scoffed with a roll of his eyes.
Jonghyun gave him a please-do-explain look, but his hands were betraying him in favour of hooking around the thin boy’s small waist.
“Jjong,” and Kibum sighed, because wasn’t it obvious? “You have a puppy. A girl puppy. And your apartment is clean, your pants are skinnier than an idol’s and you have nail polish-”
“I have to!” the elder cut in.
“-you love ballads-”
“W-what?”
“I found your iPod in your dressing room,” the other admitted, a sly look on his face. “Playlists don’t lie.”
Jonghyun frowned but let it go because Key then started nuzzling along his jaw, nipping at his neck between chuckles to make more love marks.
They showered and Kibum spent no less than fifteen minutes standing in front of Jonghyun’s small closet, trying to find clothes that would fit his taller build and look decent. The blond was in his kitchen, humming to himself as he made breakfast - or lunch, rather. They didn’t have a performance that day and he had insisted that Key borrow his clothes so as to not have to go home to change. Kibum managed to dig up a pair of longer jeans that looked like they hadn’t been worn much and threw on a random t-shirt before joining the other for lunch.
“I hope you still like ramyeon,” the elder said as he shut off the stove.
Key laughed and Jonghyun poured the noodles into two bowls, handing one over to the boy along with a pair of chopsticks. Kibum kept laughing to himself quietly as he took the first bite out of a soggy mouthful of noodles and Jonghyun could only chuckle back, inexplicably content.
“I wasn’t kidding when I said I couldn’t cook,” he reminded the younger, who nodded sheepishly in agreement.
It was never awkward with Kibum, Jonghyun thought. Maybe it was because they were both naturally talkative people, but the blond felt as if they had known each other forever. It was that easy to talk to him, to be with him and even to kiss or make love to him. Jonghyun wanted it all and, honestly, he was beginning to think he needed it, too. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt lonely.
“You’re a great actor, by the way,” Jonghyun complimented when the conversation turned to their musical and performances because in his eyes, it was more than true. “You give good performances.”
“Thanks,” the younger said, sincere. “You too.”
The elder perked an eyebrow, suddenly.
“Where?” he asked, amused at Kibum’s confused expression. “On stage or in bed?”
Kibum rolled his eyes with a huff, but a slight smile was undeniably stretching his lips.
“Both.”
“Really?” Jonghyun’s fast response gave his eagerness away and only made Kibum smile wider.
“I could have done without the biting, though.”
“No, you could not.”
“Didn’t you hear that coordi noona? I’m the one who’s supposed to bite your ‘cute ass’,” Key said, emphasizing the last words by making quotations marks with his fingers.
“So you think it’s cute?”
Kibum rolled his eyes and Jonghyun was truly starting to get a kick out of it every time he earned himself that annoyed yet fond gesture. What could he say? Key had him under his spell since the very beginning.
Jonghyun ended up fetching his laptop - it was old and big but at least it was reliable - taking Kibum’s advice to heart and they browsed the web in search of lube that they could order.
“I didn’t know there were so many kinds...” Jonghyun muttered between giggles. The younger kept clutching onto his arm and bursting into fits of laughter at some of the more original or eccentric brand names and flavours.
They spent almost an hour surfing the web, browsing online sex shops and when Jonghyun’s pants had grown almost painfully tight, he snapped his laptop shut and dragged his boyfriend onto his leather couch for a long make out session, happily ignoring the curious puppy pawing at the edge of the couch.
***
Jonghyun had never slept less. More often than not, Kibum would end the day in Jonghyun’s bed. They slowly but surely got to know each other - what made them moan, scream, shiver and come, what made the other beg for more or cry out loud. They would talk about anything and everything into the wee hours of the morning, side by side on Jonghyun’s small bed. Sometimes, there would be teasing and unashamed cockiness, other times, sweetness and tender affection. They both liked it that way.
(Roo soon got used to the noise, too. She stopped barking and contented herself with simply lying by the bedroom door, guarding her masters like the good puppy she was.)
Even when the younger boy wasn’t in his bed, Kibum would invade Jonghyun’s thoughts and keep him from sleep - not that the blond particularly minded.
Their director did, though. During rehearsals, the lead seemed absent-minded, almost distracted and everyone seemed to notice (well, everyone except the boy himself). They let it go easily because Jonghyun was still giving great performances, but they couldn’t help but notice that the singer’s voice was becoming strained, tired almost. It left the cast and crew puzzled since Kim Jonghyun had never, never had problems with his voice before. The producers even began to wonder if he was being overworked.
What they didn’t know was that Jonghyun’s voice only became huskier after hot make outs, rushed blow jobs or quick fixes with Key before and between scenes - that deserted bathroom had decidedly never been more useful. The lead was being a bit careless and Kibum meant to talk to him about it, that he shouldn’t neglect his job and voice only for him, but every time the blond backed him up against a wall or let his black-nailed, leather-bound hands drag over his skin, his thoughts were way too scattered and turned on to think clearly or sensibly.
It took a visit from Onew to pull Jonghyun back down to Earth, and the fall was rather unpleasant.
Jonghyun was in the dressing room, next to a silent Jino as the blond fought with his bracelets to unbuckle and untie them from his wrists. Had he not been so busy with his obstinate wardrobe, he would have noticed that his cast mate was sending him sidelong glances - and not in an innocent way.
The lead was halfway done when he heard a knock on the door. He smiled to himself, thinking it was Key but was genuinely surprised to find Onew walking into the small lounge. The ex-lead greeted both Jonghyun and Jino, who was thankfully leaving and it relieved Jonghyun because there was something slightly unnerving about the boy’s presence. The blond considered himself as easy-going, yet he had never seemed to be able to talk to Jino comfortably. They were just so different.
“Long time no see,” Jonghyun said once he and Onew were the only ones left in the room.
“Yeah, sorry about that,” and Onew seemed honestly sorry, but the other couldn’t hold it against him - he knew SM must have been keeping their new recruit very busy.
“Don’t worry about it,” he reassured with his usual wide grin. “So how’s the idol life?”
“I’m hardly an idol,” Onew argued, smiling sheepishly. “I’m mostly just training, sometimes recording.”
“Really? Do you even need training?” It was a bit hard to believe that Onew, Jonghyun’s mentor of sorts, needed training in the arts of performance. He was already a seasoned pro.
“I do,” Onew chuckled, “because apparently they want to put me in a boy band.”
Jonghyun mouth fell open. Onew? In a boy band? Sure, he had a clear and sweet voice but rock suited him more in the blond’s opinion. Besides, he thought his elder was a bit too... particular - even odd at times - to fit into the pop star mould.
“I... wasn’t expecting that,” Jonghyun uttered after a while.
“Jjong, it’s SM. What else would they have me do?”
The blond could only nod to that.
“It’s okay, it’s what I want.”
“Oh,” was all Jonghyun could say, rather dumbly.
It was a bit awkward, and it didn’t help when Onew let out that slight nervous laugh of his. But all uneasiness subsided once they started talking about the show, common ground to them both.
“I like the new scenes,” Onew shared and it made Jonghyun’s chest swell with pride to know that his elder approved. “You were great too, but Jjong, you’ve got to watch after your voice more.”
Jonghyun looked away - he himself wasn’t pleased with his performance that night, since his voice had cracked thrice, courtesy of an encounter with Key earlier backstage and of what was still dripping down his throat. Onew was right, as he always was, but the blond didn’t like how it made him feel like a scolded child; he didn’t want to be reminded of his faults because he was well aware of them already. He somewhat knew he had been neglecting his voice and job lately, but really, how could he not when it was for Kibum? Jonghyun wasn’t perfect, he never claimed to be, and one of his weaknesses was being unable to deny the boy, his boyfriend, anything.
“What happened tonight? You sounded strained,” Onew spoke and Jonghyun knew it was the truth. He simply didn’t want to admit it.
“I’m just a bit tired.”
“Then get some rest, it’s important,” the elder lectured and the other only nodded to get it over with.
“How’s the new cast?” the blond asked at once, eager to change the subject and even more eager to hear his ex-costar’s opinion on a certain boy.
“There are more dancers, it’s weird,” Onew said with a chuckle. “I guess I’m not used to it.”
“And?”
“Jino’s really good.”
Jonghyun resisted the urge to roll his eyes; Onew wasn’t being very perceptive. Either that or he was in fact blind and hadn’t noticed a gorgeous boy reciting lines and dancing in front of him for two and some hours.
Onew suddenly frowned, eyes fixed somewhere beyond Jonghyun’s shoulder and the younger grew wary - it wasn’t an expression he had seen often on the other’s usually cheerful face.
“That Key guy,” the elder began, an unreadable expression in his gaze, “he seems...”
Amazing, no? Jonghyun almost blurted out, but the way Onew’s features had darkened kept him quiet.
“Special.”
“What do you mean?” There was a queasy feeling claiming the younger’s insides.
“Jonghyun, I’ll be honest here,” and if the use of his full first name hadn’t been worrying enough, Onew’s tone certainly was, “I just spoke to a few people and, you know, the crew is talking... about you... and Key.”
It was like a slap in the face to Jonghyun - had they really been that careless that people were suspecting something? What did Onew’s sentence even imply?
“What?” Jonghyun only trusted himself to say that one word.
“They say you’re very close.”
“We are, but-”
“Listen, it’s none of my business but as your friend I’m asking you to be careful with... these things,” Onew spoke solemnly. “In the end, it’s your decision but please, think it through.”
Jonghyun was too dumbstruck to say anything; instead he stared back at the elder with large eyes. Key couldn’t have picked a worst time to come in through the door.
“Hi?” the black-haired boy greeted uncertainly to Onew’s back, sort of befuddled by the intense silence in the room.
The ex-lead turned around at once and, in a flash, the frown on his face had been replaced by a wide and welcoming smile that did nothing to reassure Jonghyun.
“Hi,” the elder greeted back politely with a small bow that Key returned. “I don’t think we’ve met, I’m Onew.”
“Key,” the boy said as they shook hands.
“So,” the elder said not without a certain awkwardness, “how do you like working here?”
“I love it.”
There was an uncomfortable silence - Onew was always a bit stiff around people he wasn’t familiar with - and had Jonghyun not been so troubled, he would have found it highly amusing.
“I was just about to leave,” Onew said suddenly, a bit forcefully because there was a restless and impatient look in Key’s eyes. (How Jonghyun could handle the boy was way beyond him. Something told him Key required some getting used to.)
When only the two lovers were left in the room after quick goodbyes, Key turned to the blond.
“He seems nice. Weird, but nice,” he admitted.
When Jonghyun didn’t smile, Key knew something was wrong. He decided to brush it off for now, preferring to wait until they were somewhere more private to ask questions. It wasn’t until Jonghyun had locked the door to his apartment behind them that Kibum let himself speak freely.
“Is something wrong?” he questioned tentatively as he stepped out of his shoes and ignored the happy puppy rushing around his feet.
Jonghyun locked eyes with him for a few seconds before turning away again.
“It’s just... something Onew said,” the elder confessed and Key frowned, eyes becoming slanted.
“What did he say?”
Jonghyun threw him a quick glance again before sighing, and Key knew at once that it was serious. He followed the elder to the kitchen where the blond pulled out two glasses from the cupboard and filled them with water.
“Well, for one,” Jonghyun began in a low voice, “I know that I haven’t been giving great performances lately and sort of... slacking.”
How that tied in with Onew’s visit escaped the younger boy but he remained quiet, intent on hearing Jonghyun through.
“And apparently, the crew’s catching on...” he spoke vaguely, avoiding Key’s probing gaze. “Onew said they’ve been talking about me... and you.”
Kibum really wasn’t all that surprised or shocked; he had been expecting worse.
“So?”
“So,” Jonghyun continued only to pause again because he too was wondering what it all entailed. “I guess we should be more careful?”
Kibum nodded and the elder was having a hard time deciphering his expression - it was dark and thoughtful.
“I just... don’t want to start rumours,” the elder said after a short pause. He really didn’t; he realized at once that if people found out about his relationship with a boy he could say goodbye to his future career plans in the music business. “We could lose our jobs.”
At this, Key’s eyes shot up to lock with Jonghyun’s round ones and the blond couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that they had to hide - it made him feel like they were something shameful, wrong. Since when had sharing love become sinful? How could he believe that when it felt so good?
He looked at Kibum, the young nineteen year old boy sitting on his kitchen chair in his sweats, the boy with the beautiful body and perfect face, with that pretty smile, those captivating eyes and that endearing attitude of his, and it hurt to know that they would never be able to have a normal relationship. It hurt so much.
The words “It’s not fair” fell from his lips as he felt a lonely tear glide down his cheek and Kibum was a bit taken aback at the quick change in mood. He had somehow guessed that Jonghyun was the emotional type but he had never witnessed it before and it was a bit unsettling. Still, he was up on his feet and before he knew it, he was hugging the blond to his chest.
Kibum didn’t ask what he had meant by those words because he already knew it. Instead, he rested his head on top of Jonghyun’s and held him tighter, a few tears of his own trailing down to his chin. Seeing the blond cry was heartbreaking. Jonghyun was a kid at heart, and to see that innocence through his tears as he clutched the younger’s shirt made Kibum’s heart twist and his insides churn. No, it wasn’t fair.
They held onto each other all through the night and for the first time since Jonghyun had met Key, he let himself wonder if the boy would stay by his side forever.
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A/N: Thank you for reading! Yet again it occurs to me that this fic is much fluffier than what I’d originally intended. Oh well, I hope you like a bit of fluff. Also, I’m a bit curious as to whether or not you would have preferred more descriptive sexy scenes, lol. Feel free to comment.
I have yet another link to a vid I want to share ^^ : link. I love love love Jjong & Key there.