I MISS YOU LIVEJOURNAL.

I wanna move. I wanna change. I wanna job that is bearable and will pay me enough money to live on while I pursue a real career. And when I'm not doing that I want to have the time and energy to run everyday, go to the gym and lie on the beach.

I'm not asking for a million dollars or a trip to Spain. This shouldn't be that hard.

I literally can't think. The noises and pulses in my head feel like a boiling pot of water. I have my iTunes on random to try to find a song that can soothe this but it nearly impossible. Every emotion is have a death match in my brain right now. I'm happy, sad, angry, nostalgic, tired, bored, anxious and ultimately confused ( Read more... )

I used to have this dream very often as a kid. It was dark out, I wasn't in human form. I was just a cloud of pressure. I was waiting in line with other misty forms of pressure and worries and stress. We were all different shapes and size, however we were all standing there waiting for our inevitable death. There were thousands upon thousands of us ( Read more... )

Spent the hour and half in traffic figuring out exactly what I was going to say. A shooting star flew by right when I didn't think I could be able to spit out my jumbled thoughts. That star told me I could do it. I had confidence. Then I saw you and it all went away. I don't want to get upset and sappy because I know you don't like that. But I do. ( Read more... )

Going on a cruise in a couple days and it's actually perfect timing. I need to get away. Get away from work and love and life and be with myself. I need to think about what I really want and then grow a pair to do something about it ( Read more... )

I feel like I am getting closer and closer each day to being a grown up. I've still got a long way to go though. Which is fine. 30 is the new 20. I'm sure I'll be in debt, working at Whole Foods and living in a crappy apartment for years to come. No sense in fighting it. As long as I am happy. Which is a lot more frequently than years ago.

I wish life could just be a bottle of wine with a Sade soundtrack.

I just wanna go back. Far back. Not to start over and make other choices but to remember what it felt like to be a different person. I don't know what happened to me. I don't remember when I lost my youth. And this happened before I began this relationship. Orlando changed me. Yes I matured, which is good. But I lost a lot of innocence. All of a ( Read more... )

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I LOVE this video. Between the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs CD, the new Bat For Lashes CD and this strange band Music Go Music that I found two amazing songs by, I am totally in love with music right now ( Read more... )