GLEE: Putting Holes in Happiness
Title: Putting Holes in Happiness
Rating: R
Characters: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman, Dave Karofsky, Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry, ensemble
Pairing: Kurt/Puck/Finn, Dave/Puck, Kurt/Puck
Warnings: implied Threesome
Spoilers: references of 2.19 Rumours and 2.20 Prom Queen
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
A/N: Continuation of Only Seems Kinky the First Time | Not of Average Arrangement | Operating Manual Optional | Taste in Men | Not Worth the Fall | Everybody's Looking for Something.
Summary: Rumours can screw everything to hell and back. And sometimes they can fix things that really need fixing.
Series: Part Seven in 'Sex and Waffles'
Puck spends the weekend ignoring everything. There's a bit of a bruise on the back of his head, but his concussion totally clears up and he's good for the weekend and his mom isn't hovering every second she can. Dave goes out of town for something with his cousins so Puck spends his time with Rachel on Saturday because the girl finally figured out how to play Mario Kart and now she invites herself over just to play it, mess around with Babe and challenge Puck to play songs she names on the guitar. After the first day she stopped using songs from musicals and Puck's kind of down with her idea of fun for that. He doesn't even care that she can beat him at Mario Kart five out of six times because she just lets the fuck go and enjoys herself, if glee could see this Rachel Berry, they'd probably die of shock. Sunday is spent with Sam and Artie, and Puck's sort of feeling them out for anything that Finn might've said, but nothings coming up as worrying, so he lets it go.
He doesn't even think about it again until Monday morning when Finn keeps staring at him like there's something he needs to puzzle out -it starts to piss Puck off by the time he's leaving Spanish and Finn is still frowning that stupid frown. Up until then, Rachel or Sam had been with him, but after Spanish comes his study hall and Rachel's off for her ballet stuff and Puck just goes to his locker. He's kind of surprised that Finn doesn't follow him, but while he's on his way out the car park (he intends on going to the 7-11 and picking up some dip just like every Monday study hall) Finn and Kurt both appear and like, herd him into an empty room.
"What the fuck?" A few months ago, he'd know where this was going. A few moths ago this would be a total rush and he likely would've planned for it himself. But this isn't a few months ago and they aren't here for that -they fucking better not be because he's not really a whore to the highest degree or whatever. But Finn's still frowning and Kurt's looking worried and it figures that Finn would wait until he'd told Kurt and Kurt came up with a plan to talk to him before anything happened about Thursday night and what Finn saw. "Dude, seriously, I have places to be." He doesn't, but he doesn't want to be there either.
"Places? What places?" Finn looks like he wants to say more, but Kurt lifts a hand to shut the moron up for a second.
"Noah, is there anything you want to tell us?" The tone is enough to put Puck's teeth on edge. Because it's Kurt trying to placate him, trying to calm him and talk to him. Like there's something he needs to share, like he's some scared little kid or something and really, Puck isn't and doesn't and won't or whatever. "We're your friends, you can talk to us, nothing has to leave this room." Seriously?
"Hummel," and he has noticed that he's done that, using Kurt's last name instead of his first, because frankly, it's easier to distance himself. "What the hell are you talking about?" He wants them to say it, wants them to just spit it out and he can just laugh at them and walk away, he needs to. Because they aren't supposed to care now, they didn't care then so why care now and Puck had been doing so fucking good at getting past all this bullshit. "Just say what you want and let me go." Finn and Kurt do that annoying brother thing again and Puck doesn't miss it -he doesn't- before Finn sighs and Kurt gets all sad looking and shit.
"Is- I mean, I saw-" Finn fumbles with his words and looks at the floor and scuffs his foot against the side of a desk. He is such a dork, and it is in no way endearing at all.
"Is Karofsky blackmailing you into having sex with him?" He comforts himself with realising that he's not the only one who sometimes thinks the worst of Dave. And Rachel had already explained to him why she'd initially thought such a thing -not because she thought Dave was some sexual deviant but because Dave didn't give off the air of being 'nice' or even that he was attracted to boys. But then again neither did Puck so she just went with things. "Finn saw him kiss you in the locker room, and he told me, and we were just worried. Is that why he didn't report you punching him? Is that what he's holding over you?"
"You know what," Puck stands and glares at them, "fuck both of you." Rachel tried to get him to talk more about the whole deal with these two, she said that sharing what happened might help him move past it, since he wanted to move on completely, and that it wasn't fair on Dave, if they did have a relationship, to be working things out with all the past baggage (Puck thinks she was reading out of one of those chick magazines she had). "Because I kissed him, okay? Not the other way around. And no, he's not blackmailing me, and yes it is a mutually satisfying arrangement," he fucking hates that word, but he can't use the 'R' word yet, "and frankly it's none of your business." He's not over it. He's still hurt, still upset, still a little bit heart broken that they both wanted something that wasn't him and he just wanted them. It fucking sucks.
"Puck, dude, c'mon, it's Karofsky." Puck wants to ask what the hell that's supposed to mean, he actually wants to defend Dave to Finn (stranger things have happened), but Kurt cuts in.
"We're your friends," Puck actually laughs, but Kurt keeps on regardless, "we just want to make sure you're okay."
"You know what, I'm not. I'm not okay, and it's not because of Dave, it's because of you pair. And you don't get to be worried; you don't get to check on me. Because neither of you care, we're not friends. We haven't even talked outside of Glee since you both dumped my ass for your precious Quinn and Blaine. So no, you don't get to ask me this shit." Puck shoulders around Finn, standing in front of the door, ready to storm out, "And if you don't mind, keep your fucking mouths shut about me and Dave."
He doesn't feel like going for dip now. He doesn't feel like staying in school, but Rachel would kill him and his Ma would freak and he's not that much of a pussy. So he heads out to the bleachers -he knows Rachel will look for him there before anywhere else- and just sits there for a while. It's messed up. He shouldn't still care about Finn or Kurt, he shouldn't, but somehow he does and that is just stupid. Rachel and her stupid 'love is beautiful' bullshit are just messing him up because love fucking sucks. He still loves them, and thinks he might be a little in love with Dave too -which is stupid, because it's not going to last, Dave isn't going to stick around- and they're all happy and in love with their other people. Quinn and her fucking Prom psychosis and Blaine and his fucking no imperfections -seriously, was that boy grown in a fucking test tube?
Frankly, he's not sure what it was that he did when they were together that meant neither of them wanted to be with him. He's pretty sure that he wasn't an asshole and really, as far as that being his first relationship -two people or whatever- he thinks he handled it pretty well. He wasn't clingy, didn't get jealous or possessive, wasn't constantly calling or texting, he was faithful and supportive; he actually listened to everything Kurt said and tried to help. Honestly, he was a whole lot different from what he usually was when he was hooking up. Like he was a legit boyfriend or whatever -his only practice at that had been Rachel in Sophomore year and that had lasted less than a week. Bt really, he wasn't like Quinn; he didn't demand Finn spend time with him, or listen to him whine about weight or whatever. He sure as shit wasn't like Blaine; making Kurt feel like he wasn't sex, telling him he tried too hard, ignored his feelings in favour of a GAP kid (seriously, the GAP? Who the hell even shopped there anymore?).
It was after lunch when Rachel appeared, carrying a bottle of water and two power bars. "I didn't know you weren't with the jocks until all the good food was gone." And really, it's okay, because he's hitting up Artie's later and Artie's mom always makes far too much food and fobs it off on Puck. "Tina said after you stormed out, Finn and Kurt came out of Miss Leighton's physics class." He sort of hates that there are so many people in glee or whatever. It's hard to keep things quiet, and everyone knows everyone else’s business and it just sucks sometimes. "You want to talk about it?"
"Finn thought Dave was blackmailing me. That he kissed me in the locker room and was forcing me into stuff." She just nods, like she knew he'd come to that conclusion, because she did too. "Kurt said they were my friends, that they were worried." He still can't believe that they actually think that. They probably don't know shit about his life right then. He can't remember the last time they hung out -either of them, with him. Unless it was school, football or glee related, Puck hadn't even spoken to them. "It's just so fucking stupid. I want to get mad, but I'm just so damn tired of it."
Rachel shuffled closer, slipping her arm through Puck's and resting her head on his shoulder. She didn't have anything to say, didn't offer any of those empty words that everything would be all right, that it would get better. He'd be better just living in a box at this rate.
And it only gets worse.
The next day, Rachel practically storms him first thing in the morning, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the auditorium before school even starts and Puck has no idea why. Until Rachel waves the school newspaper in front of his face -didn't they stop printing that shit?- and he has to snatch it from her before she hits him in the face with it. "How did they know? Did Finn say something? Would Dave? Oh, Noah, this is horrible. They're printing all these horrid things about people and it's just terrible." He lets her rant away while he reads through the pages -apparently Sam is having an affair with Quinn, Gerard from the AV club is under going a sex change, Donna Maitless from the Cheerio's is having Rod Remington’s baby, Santana plays for both teams and the lunch lady is secretly the mother to more than five students in the school who don't know it. Oh, and Noah Puckerman is sleeping with a mystery male schoolmate.
He's still staring at the page when Rachel rounds off her rant, "that is just blatant speculation and they cannot get away with printing it."
"Do you honestly think Sam is fooling around with Quinn? Or that Mrs Loomis even pro-created once never mind five times in secret?" Some these, yeah, spot on -like about Santana, and him and probably about Gerard too- but others are just, you know, lies and speculation. "Come on, Coach S is the one who's running it. Of course it's going to be rife with inaccuracies." Rachel doesn't calm down though, she just paces the stage and Puck sits and waits, absently filling out the crossword -what is Coach Sylvester's favourite colour? How many National Championships has Coach Sylvester won? Who is the greatest person alive, two words, 3,9, first word Sue- until she finally stops and just takes a deep breath.
"I can see you're not overly concerned about this." He just shrugs, because he figures that if he freaks out right now he's not going to pull together and that'll be him for the rest of the day and then people will just assume it's true based on his reaction. He does plan on breaking his 'no messing up the dorks' pledge and ruining Jacob Ben Israel's day for sure, but beyond that, it'll be business as usual.
"Shit's gonna happen either way." And it does, because Finn over reacts in glee and Sam storms out and Rachel gets frustrated and Quinn starts yelling and Puck just ignores the glances that Mike and Artie throw at him while Brittany mopes over Santana's bitch fest and Lauren eats some popcorn declaring this the best shit ever. Puck is just figuring out that they are all screwed up anyway.
He's totally blown away when Karofsky shows up at his house, because really, with the rumours, he'd expected that Dave wouldn't come near him at all. But he's not doing it out of like, concern or anything, and Puck can totally see it. "Did you say something? Did Finn? What the fuck, Puckerman?" Ever since the concussion, Dave's been using his name, just like Puck's been using Dave's and that was possibly the first slip on the slide towards those annoying feelings and Puck should've caught it. He's just glad that his Ma and Sarah aren't home because Dave isn't being quiet or actually, you know, thinking.
"Dude, it's a glorified bullshit rag," Puck throws back, eyes narrowing at the accusations, "Sylvester is just throwing her bitch-face around." But Dave just pushes at Puck's chest, both of them exerting their strength and Puck's temper flaring. "Seriously, what the fuck is your problem? There's not a thing about you there, so just fuck off. If anyone should be pissed it should be me." But he's not, because he doesn't give a shit anymore, people can think whatever the hell they want, Puck'll screw whoever the hell he likes and it's got nothing to do with anyone.
"I swear to God, if Hudson said something," Dave doesn't finish the statement, he just muscles Puck up against the wall and surges in to kiss him -rough and hard and teeth splitting Puck's lip, and all it does it spurn Puck on really, hands grabbing for shoulders. It's really very familiar; clothes barely coming off, hands grabbing roughly, Dave doing the minimal work he can get away with before pressing into Puck and Puck just grunting and pressing his forehead against the wall, because he's remembered where it's familiar from. It doesn't make him stop, doesn't make him say anything, he just lets Dave keep going, gripping his hips so tight that Dave's hands are going to be imprinted there for days, weeks maybe, and then his teeth sink into Puck's throat and Puck's back arches backwards in a bow and Puck's coming over his mother's wall and biting his own lip to muffle the noise. Dave follows with a few more thrusts and then leans forward, catching his breath with his head pressed against Puck's neck and he's waiting for it, his stomach is in knots just waiting for it and he can't even enjoy the post-sex buzz like usual.
"We're done." It's weird, he'd knew it was coming, knew that Dave was backing off, knew that it was done, but those words still fucking hit him like a brick and he feels this tightening in his throat, feels this clench in his chest, and shit he really was starting to fall for Dave, wasn't he. There's nothing to say, because it's all horrifically familiar and Puck's definitely over this bullshit. Dave pulls himself together and Puck doesn't bother saying anything, not even when Dave presses against his back again, arm slipping around Puck's waist to stroke his stomach and his lips pressing against Puck's throat -Dave's not ending them for someone else though, Dave's not pulling back because he's got someone better, he's just scared and concerned for his reputation. His image is more important than whatever they are. Puck doesn't know what hurts more.
He stays there for a minute, before finally pulling away and leaving with a slam of the door and Babe comes rushing downstairs and barking and Puck needs to pull himself together, wipe down the wall and just lock himself in his room before his Ma and Sarah comes back.
When Sarah comes bouncing into his room, Babe hot on her heels and making herself at home on Puck's bed, he's sitting on the floor with his games console on -only he's not playing it at all, and Sarah starts rambling on and on about Maggie and Dora and how her friends are totally stupid and she's super smart and she's going to be the coolest kid at dance class this year. Puck just nods and lets her talk until she bolts off to have her bath and he gets up to close the door after telling his Ma that no, he doesn't want anything to eat before she heads to work. He goes back to sitting in front of his television, staring at it but not playing, and after a while, Babe comes to sit on his knees and Puck just sighs and calls Rachel like he's been debating doing for the last forty minutes, ever since Dave left.
"Good evening Noah, how are you?"
"Seriously, you answer the phone like a freakin' nutcase. Why can't you just say hello?" He's stalling, but that's not the point. He calls Rachel all the time so it's not like she'll think something's wrong straight off the bat.
"I happen to think that phone etiquette is a lost art, Noah. You are a prime example of that."
"What's wrong with how I answer the phone?"
"'Sup', is not an appropriate greeting." She's gotten on at him for that ever since they started phoning each other to talk about random shit -he knows she likes having someone to call, because while she's got more friends in the club now, none of them really sit and just talk with her (and she's sort of fazing Kurt out or something, he's noticed and he would tell her to stop it but he sort of likes that she's picking him over Kurt) so he lets her rag on him just because. "Did you hear? Santana blew Brittany off for her Fondue for Two interview. She did an interview with Lord Tubbington instead."
"That cat is more interesting than Santana anyway." He feels bad for Britt -after what went down with Artie, and boy was that stupid, (no pun intended) it's not fair on her that Santana suddenly can't handle people talking about her. Him and Santana have always had people talking about them. Not the same way Quinn and Finn always had it, Quinn and Finn got all this awe and wonder, but him and San got the bullshit and dirt, but they owned that shit so who the hell cared? Now suddenly, Santana is worried about other people’s opinions over Brittany? That shit just isn't kosher.
"All this with that ridiculous newspaper is just horrible. I feel so bad for Sam, getting caught in the middle of all of this, and poor Brittany; she didn't mean anything by what she said."
"Dave and I are done." He just throws it there, because she's talking about this stupid paper and he's fucking pissed at it now, because some kid he used to throw slushies at got pissed off or whatever and now suddenly he's getting this shit thrown around. "It's the thing with the paper. He's blown me off because people are talking about me."
"Oh, Noah." He sort of wishes he'd just gone over to her place now, he could actually admit -at least to himself- that he wouldn't turn down a hug right now. "I'm so sorry." He just sighs back at her, tells her what happened and she explains that he really needs to think about talking to people before allowing them to engage in sexual intercourse with him, because really, these goodbye fucks were not healthy. Puck manages to laugh at that; because only she would suggest that he talk instead of have sex. "Are you okay?"
"I dunno. I think so. I mean, maybe." He figures he's getting used to it, right? Three relationships -for lack of a better word- with boys, and three times they've picked something or someone else over him. "Maybe I'll just stick to the girls, you know? Because, this whole thing is just bumming me out." Really, he's actually starting to wonder if there is something wrong with him and before he started sleeping with dudes he never did. "Who's taking you to Prom?"
"I'm not sure. I was thinking that I would ask Sam, if he wasn't seeing anyone. I take it you were going to go stag?"
"Yeah, I was going with Lauren." Lauren was badass, and when she'd commented that she used to do those pageants as a kid, she got a little torn up -he wasn't blind, he saw it. So, he'd asked her to be his date to Prom -not in a pity sense, just because hell, she's badass and he's badass they should just be badass together. "Then one of the guys on her team asked her out, like in a proper date sort of way, so I told her it was cool." Because if the guy was brave enough to actually date Zizes, knowing that she could body slam him and rupture his testicles and possibly rearrange his spine, well, power to him. "So, Puckzilla is a free agent." Quite literally, because hell, if he got some play at Prom there was nothing to hold him back.
"I can remember the day when Puckzilla would have five girls all lined up to be his Prom dates."
"Shit Rach, c'mon, I'm growing as a person here." Which he was, all told. He wasn't even that bothered with meaningless sex anymore. "It's late, I'mma let you go, okay?" Because he knew she liked to get a full eight hours sleep and got up at a ridiculous time just so that she could do her morning work out. "I'll see you at school tomorrow."
"You're sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, Rachel. I'll be fine." They say their goodnights and Puck hears his Ma start to get ready to head out and he looks at Babe, dead asleep over his knees -and snoring, seriously, his little yapper of a mutt snores more than an obese guy with sinus problems. He puts her down in her stupid little doggy bed that Sarah insisted they get her back when she was Sarah's dog and then gets himself into a shower before tossing himself into bed too. It's unusual that he heads to bed before midnight, but he thinks he's got a pretty good excuse today and he just does it. Besides, meeting Rachel every morning before school means he actually needs to wake up before half-eight.
And she's right there in the car park, waiting for him with a hug and he laughs into her hair because he's a little less bothered with this girly crap since she started being his friend. "I wanted to give you one last night, but I had to save it for today." He doesn't mind at all. Everything is fine up until lunch when the next issue of that stupid newspaper comes out -three teachers are implied in pot smoking, two Cheerio's are thought to be moonlighting as strippers, one of the hockey guys sold his kidney on the black market to pay for a new set of teeth, Sam is caught in a Kurt-Sam-Quinn triangle story and Puck, apparently, has three possibilities for his secret footballer boyfriend. Jacob spends the afternoon crammed into a locker when he tries to ask Puck about the rumours and Rachel doesn't even tell him off for it.
Thankfully, all of glee is focused on the Sam thing -which makes Puck feel like a douche because he's sort of glad he's not dealing with this shit. Finn's mad at Quinn and Mercedes is just asking Kurt quietly if it's true and Sam doesn't even show up for glee. Rachel sends Puck off to find him, and it's not exactly hard to do, because Sam's like Puck and they find a place to chill and they use it. For Sam, it's the weight room. So, Sam spills his blond little heart to Puck while Puck spots him on the weight bench and yeah, Puck gets it. "Dude, I know I'm not all touchy feely and shit, but you should probably talk to them." By them, he means the whole club. "Yeah, we're a dysfunctional bunch of idiots and losers, but man, we stick together."
Sam's little brother and sister are around Sarah's age, so he offers his place for the nights when it gets too cold, because they always have heating. Rachel's Daddy knows someone on the housing committee and she looks into getting him on a list for a new place, Mercedes' Dad has a vacancy for a receptionist if Sam's Mom wants it and Quinn's uncle knows a few people who could maybe get Sam's Dad a job. The little muppet actually tears up and forces them to have a group hug right there in the middle of the choir room. Rachel's all pleased that something turned out well, even if she gives him this sad little smile -because yeah, they totally noticed the way that Sam took Mercedes' hand.
"So, that's the Sam rumours cleared up. Now," Quinn turns to Puck with a smirk on her face, "what's going on Puckerman?"
"Well, apparently I've fucked every girl in Lima, so I'm moving onto the guys." Her face is fucking priceless, and Puck thinks that totally makes up for the way Kurt and Finn glance at each other.
"Noah, stop it." Rachel swats at his arm with a smile, and he just grabs her wrist to pull her closer and wrap an arm around her shoulders -Quinn is totally trying to get him to 'fess up to dating Rachel, he knows it. She thinks it'll stop Finn from looking at Rachel all the time or something. And right then, Finn is definitely frowning at them both like he's trying to figure something out.
"So you'd rather people thought you were gay than dating Rachel? Wow, what a compliment." Rachel gets this quiet way that Puck hates and he just rolls his eyes.
"Rach and I are friends, Q. She's still up for anyone to grab. So if we both want to hang out while we're on the market, it's nothing to do with you." He leaves with Rachel, Mercedes and Sam, heading to Breadsticks for something to eat once they pick up their siblings -and Rachel actually evens it out since Sam has two and she can borrow one for the duration of the night, leaving the rest of glee to amuse themselves.
Sam and Mercedes agree to go to Prom together, and Rachel hedges that maybe she and Puck should go together, so he says yeah and then both girls go off on this big old spiel about their dresses and Sarah is throwing in suggestions with Stacey while the boys just roll their eyes. But it's good; it's nice, it's sort of like, what, normal? Sarah tells him that she loved it and had a great time and actually comes out with him to walk Babe and won't shut up about how awesome Sam's siblings are and how they're going to her school and she's going to make them her best friends and they'll all be super awesome just like Sam and Noah. He sort of feels like he's shot himself in the foot right there.
And shit gets worse when he bumps into Kurt -out with Blaine- in the park. "Hey, go play with Babe, yeah?" He gives Sarah the ball and unleashes Babe and off they go top hopefully wear themselves out so he doesn't need to deal with getting a hyperactive Sarah to go to bed later.
"Wait, that's really your dog?" Blaine asks, staring after Sarah and Babe and Puck frowns.
"No, that's my sister." He manages to deadpan it, and Blaine frowns for a moment, looking to Kurt who just shakes his head before looking back at Puck. "Yes, it's my dog." Truth be told, Babe wasn't all that bad anyway -except when she shed like a fucking bitch and left hair everywhere and he had to clean it all up because she was his responsibility, or when she puked in the kitchen and that time she got sick and fucking Christ dogs can throw up like a motherfucker. "Why?"
"It's just, you know, not a dog I would've pictured you having."
"She was meant to be for Sarah," that's a lie, she was for Mercedes, "but she isn't really down with taking care of a pet yet. So, Babe's just sort of mine now." Blaine nods, looking back over to see Sarah and Babe rolling around. "Out for a romantic stroll?" He's proud that he doesn't spit that out, he's still a little bitter, sure, but he can manage to not be a total dick it seems, and good for fucking him. Blaine smiles this stupid sappy smile and Puck wants to break his teeth, while he takes Kurt's hand in his and Puck knows that the romantic walk was Blaine's idea.
"It's just so nice out here." Seriously? Puck glances from Kurt to Blaine back to Kurt and really? Does Blaine even know that Kurt does not like this bullshit -sure, Kurt's all for the big romantic relationship thing, he wants to fall in love and be whisked off his feet and courted and taken out and all that stuff, Puck knows it all, he's heard it all, he listened to it. But Blaine?
"You're in Lima Memorial. There are twelve homeless guys that sleep on the benches that'll probably show up in around about twenty minutes to claim their beds. Cindy is the hooker that picks up stragglers down by the pond and the druggies will descend on the play park in about an hour to get high and ride it out on the roundabout. Not to mention all this dry, cold air, probably making Kurt want to moisturise the hell out of his cheeks and he's gonna get a cold cause it's like freezing and you've got like one layer on." Seriously, no fucking sense at all. Blaine stares at him, just the same way Kurt is. "Oh whatever. Enjoy your romantic stroll through reality."
He just walks away without saying anything else, picking up Sarah when she gets tired and walking them through to the other end of the park and heading home before all the shit that happens actually happens. Cindy's just taking up her post as he gets Sarah out to the street.
Kurt stands at his locker the next morning, glaring at him and Puck is totally just ignoring him. "Did you have to be so rude?"
"Are you shitting me? He thinks opening yourself up to a potential mugging or stabbing is romantic?"
"You took Sarah out there."
"I live there, Kurt." He's always been around the drunks and the homeless guys and the hookers -he fucking knows Cindy's daughter for crying out loud, so it's not a big deal for him to straggle at the end of the night in the park and have a chat with Kicks or Shuffles -they're two of the more harmless drunks in the area. But for kids like Blaine and Kurt, who practically scream 'we've got some money and Daddy will pay to keep us’, it's just retarded. "But hey, if your boytoy wants to parade you through the park with a sign that says 'kidnap me now', please, feel free." Puck slammed his locker and started to walk away, but Kurt sort of trailed after him, touching Puck's elbow when he want them to slip into a deserted classroom -seriously, what was with Finn and Kurt and empty classrooms? "What now?" He was tired of dealing with Kurt and Finn, he'd love for the year to be done soon so that summer could really start and they could just ignore each other, and maybe by then, he'd be over all this.
"What's going on with you?" He's stunned by the question, because he's not sure what Kurt really means. "I know that Finn and I haven't really been paying attention, and I am sorry about that, but, Noah, I'm worried." Puck sits at the edge of a desk, letting Kurt pace at the front of the room and ramble off whatever. "Now, if you and Dave are both happy in your relationship, then that's fine, I guess. I'm happy for you," Kurt throws a look towards Puck that says he's not really happy for Puck, and he figures it's because of the whole Dave bullying Kurt -but that led Kurt to Blaine, didn't it, so shouldn't Kurt be all happy and shit?- "but, really, Noah, your behaviour is, well, erratic. And I remember what it was like, when you and Finn, and I'm assuming that it's the same with Karofsky," Puck watches Kurt's eyes go to Puck's throat and he remembers that there's still a healing bruise there from Dave's teeth and he can't help but raise a hand to cover it before stopping. "I'm just, I just-" Kurt stops pacing and stands in front of Puck, putting his hands on Puck's knees and staring right at him. "Is he hurting you? Is he pushing things past your boundaries?"
Puck doesn't know how to answer, because beyond that one, first time where Dave didn't have a clue what he was doing, he's been nothing but careful with everything. It's not like Puck's into anything super kinky or anything, he just gets off on a little pain, right? And Dave's down with the biting and gripping and that's cool. Except they're over now and he should just tell Kurt that but Kurt's like this close to him and he's being all concerned and involved and Puck's thrown back to this place where he remembers how good it felt to kiss Kurt, to run his hands up Kurt's soft skin and the noises that Kurt made. How it feels to fuck Kurt, to have Kurt wrapped around him, to fall asleep pressed against Kurt with his arms and legs tangled. God, he was such a pussy.
"Noah," Kurt's hand shifts from his knee to his face, stroking his jaw and Puck can't stop himself from leaning into it and letting his eyes close. "What is he doing to you?" It snaps him out of it, and Puck pulls away, pushing Kurt back and moving from the desk.
"Nothing, okay? We're not doing anything because we're done. And no, he never hurt me." Not like Kurt's thinking.
"You're lying. I can still see it, Noah. You think you hide everything but there is a pain in your eyes and I just want to help, I just want to be friends again." Kurt takes another two steps towards him and Puck uses the tip of his finger to stop Kurt from getting too close, pushing him back.
"Dave didn't put that look there," he thinks it might be the same thing that Rachel said she saw, that heartbreak, "that was you and Finn." It's the closest he's come to telling Kurt or Finn that they fucked it up, that they screwed him over, that he felt something more than they did. That it was why he didn't try to stay friends, that it was why he didn't want them to try to stay friends. Kurt just stares for a minute and Puck's getting himself ready to leave when Kurt moves, pushing Puck's hand aside and plastering himself to Puck's chest and bringing their mouths together.
There's a bare moment of hesitation before Puck pulls his arms around Kurt to keep him close and opens his mouth to the onslaught. Kurt's hand holds to the back of Puck's head, fingers gripping the short hair of his mohawk as he moans into Puck's mouth and Puck just groans against him, stumbling forward until Kurt is pressed against a desk and Puck leans forward, pressing them against each other without any space between them. Kurt tastes exactly like Puck remembers, and his body arches into Puck's chest in all the right ways as Puck's hand slides up Kurt's back, fingers pressing to his spine before his hand fists in Kurt's hair. They break apart for air and Puck leans his forehead against Kurt's shoulder while the smaller boy runs his fingers along Puck's 'hawk.
"I miss you; I've missed you so much." Kurt's words are gasped against Puck's cheek, and it takes him a little moment to pull himself together and untangle from Kurt, because Kurt is dating Blaine, and Puck's already gotten in the middle of relationships and come out feeling like shit. He's already feeling like shit from his own relationships, he doesn't need other peoples doing that to him too.
"Yeah, well you were the one that walked away." He can't even look back as he turns and leaves, because if he does he knows for a fact that he won't leave.
The whole 'budget prom' thing is actually fun; he has a laugh with Rachel that he'd never have with a proper date and he digs that, Sam and Mercedes are totally obvious about being into each other -and good for Sam, really, because Mercy is like ten times better than Quinn or San, and the boy seems to be picking up on that. They get to Prom and while they all sort of swap around on performing, everyone is having a blast, until the announcement of Prom King and Queen comes up. Santana's all smug with herself when Dave gets crowned King and Rachel slips her hand into his to squeeze it tightly. He still thinks she's reading too far into his feelings for Dave -because yeah, he liked the guy and yeah he thought they could be okay, and Dave clearly liked him too -hello, orgasms- but he wasn't actually in love with Karofsky. They share a look, one look, when Dave steps towards the front of the stage before Dave looks away.
It's not until the Queen announcement that shit hits the fan and all the drama spills. Kurt's face is agonising to see, with him storming out, Puck really wants to go after him, Blaine hesitates -seriously, he fucking hesitates- before running after Kurt, Santana storms off with Britt following and Quinn runs out in tears with an awkward looking Finn following her. Mercedes looks like she's ready to kill someone for hurting her boy and Sam just turns to Puck with a scared sort of look -and yeah, Puck's a little scared of Mercy too. Dave fucks up again when he storms off instead of dancing with Kurt, and then Blaine makes the offer and Kurt just looks sad all the way through it. He catches Puck's gaze once, and Puck's almost drawn in, almost wants to get Kurt to meet him in one of those deserted classrooms and they can just ignore him walking away earlier. But Rachel is a saving grace from Puck and his own stupidity.
"Wanna get out of here?" He likes dancing with Rachel, because he doesn't stand on her feet and their almost the same height and she's just warm and soft and not expecting anything.
"Everyone expects that to be my line, and if we leave now, they'll think I'm popping your Berry-cherry." Everyone like Santana and Quinn, and that shit might be all over the school by next week. Not that Puck even cares about rumours anymore, but really, Rachel doesn't need that drama.
"I don't care, lets get out of here before I slap all those boys for hurting you." He walks her home, kisses her forehead and then walks across town to his house, it's the tamest night he's ever had -he didn't even spike the damn punch. When he gets home, Kurt's sitting on his front step, crown in hand and this little frown on his face. Puck has to admit he sort of likes Kurt's weird ass get up -the kilt is probably just classic Kurt, but it's not like anyone in their school can even appreciate Kurt's off the wall tastes.
"Hey," Kurt looks up at him as he approaches, sitting on the step beside Kurt and listening to hear the noise of the television in the front room. His Ma probably fell asleep with the TV on because it's after midnight and she's got a tendency to do that when she's not working. "What're you doing here?" He would've thought that Kurt had some magical night all planned out with Blaine, one that didn't include sitting in front of Puck's house in the early hours of the morning after what should've been a great night for him.
"I wanted to see you." Kurt's staring at the cracks in the slabs in front of him though, not looking at Puck, and he figures he can give Hummel a few minutes before he declares this a waste of time and tells the diva to go home. "I'm not in love with Blaine." It's like Kurt's talking to himself really. "I thought I was, I honestly did. I thought he was this perfect guy that I should be madly in love with, he was so supportive and so nice and we could talk about everything. He holds my hand in public and he kisses me sweetly, he's waiting for me to be ready -I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm a virgin. We share all the same interests and I should love him, I know it." Puck wants to point out that him and Rachel do half that stuff -because since they became friends, Puck's only kissed Rachel once to get her to stop freaking out about some stupid audition for some summer play where her co-star told her she couldn't kiss properly and Puck was hell bent on showing her that she really, really could. But anyway. Kurt apparently, isn't in love with Blaine, and Kurt, for some reason, feels that Puck should know this.
"Kurt," he really doesn't know what he's meant to say. Because there's no way that Kurt doesn't understand what Puck had been saying, there's no way that Kurt doesn't get that Puck pretty much admitted to being in love with Kurt, who then dumped him for Blaine. So, he's not sure where this is going or what Kurt's point is.
"I get that we hurt you," Kurt turns his body towards Puck, their knees bumping together, "I got an earful from Rachel one night when I was talking about Blaine," Kurt's tone tells Puck that he was complaining, "and while I'm a little surprised that you chose Rachel Berry of all people to confide in, she had a lot of valid points."
"Don't rag on her, okay? She's been awesome." She defends him when people call him a loser, when they call him dumb or useless. He'll defend her to hell and back when people put her down just for being ambitious and a good friend.
"I know, I get it." Kurt shifts a little closer again, and Puck doesn't move away like he should. "I figured it out tonight. You would've danced with me, wouldn't you? We wouldn't have hid away like a secret; you would've danced with me in front of the whole school." Puck just shrugged his shoulders, because he's pretty sure he would've. Whatever they'd had, he'd fallen in love with both of them and he'd wanted to do whatever they wanted, so long as he still got them. He would've pretended to just be with Kurt or Finn so long as he got them and he would've pretended to be with neither of them if that's what it took. But Kurt seemed to think it would've stayed a secret to everyone, that Puck wouldn't do those romantic things that Kurt talked about -like taking him out for dinner (he'd looked up this pretty awesome French place just outside of Lima that Kurt would love that he'd planned on going to, he'd even made reservations, two days before Kurt blew him off for Blaine), holding his hand in public (except he totally had to stop himself those few times they went to the mall together and Kurt's knuckles brushed against Puck's) or just gone out somewhere for a nice time. Puck was all for it, really, because he got over the whole 'pussy' factor and figured, shit, he was in love with this guy, why the hell wouldn't he take him out places?
"I don't know what you want from me, Kurt. Seriously, I just don't know." Kurt was always harder to read than Finn, because Finn wore everything right there and just blurted out every random thought he ever had. It was sort of endearing or whatever, but Kurt was always a challenge, with his Ice Princess persona and Puck had started to get good at puzzling him out before he lost the knack and they were done.
"I want you to give me another chance. I want you to say you don't hate me, that there's still something here, that we can maybe try and salvage something." Kurt's pressed right in against Puck now, his forehead pressing to the side of Puck's head, lips brushing Puck's ear and God, he's such a push-over for this boy because that's all it takes. "I don't want Blaine; I don't want anyone but you. Please, Noah, just one chance, I'll show you."
Puck just turns his head, pressing his lips to Kurt's and pulling him in close. He doesn't know if he is just that masochistic, if he's just that stupid that he keeps going back for more heartache, but he still wants Kurt, still loves the stupid little diva even if he did throw it in his face. He's not got the willpower to say no. Kurt hums against Puck's mouth and then climbs into his lap, arms around Puck's neck as they press together. Rachel is going to bitch him out for this, but fuck, with Kurt pressed against him and licking into his mouth, Puck doesn't even care.
He just really hopes Kurt's serious about this.
Rating: R
Characters: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman, Dave Karofsky, Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry, ensemble
Pairing: Kurt/Puck/Finn, Dave/Puck, Kurt/Puck
Warnings: implied Threesome
Spoilers: references of 2.19 Rumours and 2.20 Prom Queen
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
A/N: Continuation of Only Seems Kinky the First Time | Not of Average Arrangement | Operating Manual Optional | Taste in Men | Not Worth the Fall | Everybody's Looking for Something.
Summary: Rumours can screw everything to hell and back. And sometimes they can fix things that really need fixing.
Series: Part Seven in 'Sex and Waffles'
Puck spends the weekend ignoring everything. There's a bit of a bruise on the back of his head, but his concussion totally clears up and he's good for the weekend and his mom isn't hovering every second she can. Dave goes out of town for something with his cousins so Puck spends his time with Rachel on Saturday because the girl finally figured out how to play Mario Kart and now she invites herself over just to play it, mess around with Babe and challenge Puck to play songs she names on the guitar. After the first day she stopped using songs from musicals and Puck's kind of down with her idea of fun for that. He doesn't even care that she can beat him at Mario Kart five out of six times because she just lets the fuck go and enjoys herself, if glee could see this Rachel Berry, they'd probably die of shock. Sunday is spent with Sam and Artie, and Puck's sort of feeling them out for anything that Finn might've said, but nothings coming up as worrying, so he lets it go.
He doesn't even think about it again until Monday morning when Finn keeps staring at him like there's something he needs to puzzle out -it starts to piss Puck off by the time he's leaving Spanish and Finn is still frowning that stupid frown. Up until then, Rachel or Sam had been with him, but after Spanish comes his study hall and Rachel's off for her ballet stuff and Puck just goes to his locker. He's kind of surprised that Finn doesn't follow him, but while he's on his way out the car park (he intends on going to the 7-11 and picking up some dip just like every Monday study hall) Finn and Kurt both appear and like, herd him into an empty room.
"What the fuck?" A few months ago, he'd know where this was going. A few moths ago this would be a total rush and he likely would've planned for it himself. But this isn't a few months ago and they aren't here for that -they fucking better not be because he's not really a whore to the highest degree or whatever. But Finn's still frowning and Kurt's looking worried and it figures that Finn would wait until he'd told Kurt and Kurt came up with a plan to talk to him before anything happened about Thursday night and what Finn saw. "Dude, seriously, I have places to be." He doesn't, but he doesn't want to be there either.
"Places? What places?" Finn looks like he wants to say more, but Kurt lifts a hand to shut the moron up for a second.
"Noah, is there anything you want to tell us?" The tone is enough to put Puck's teeth on edge. Because it's Kurt trying to placate him, trying to calm him and talk to him. Like there's something he needs to share, like he's some scared little kid or something and really, Puck isn't and doesn't and won't or whatever. "We're your friends, you can talk to us, nothing has to leave this room." Seriously?
"Hummel," and he has noticed that he's done that, using Kurt's last name instead of his first, because frankly, it's easier to distance himself. "What the hell are you talking about?" He wants them to say it, wants them to just spit it out and he can just laugh at them and walk away, he needs to. Because they aren't supposed to care now, they didn't care then so why care now and Puck had been doing so fucking good at getting past all this bullshit. "Just say what you want and let me go." Finn and Kurt do that annoying brother thing again and Puck doesn't miss it -he doesn't- before Finn sighs and Kurt gets all sad looking and shit.
"Is- I mean, I saw-" Finn fumbles with his words and looks at the floor and scuffs his foot against the side of a desk. He is such a dork, and it is in no way endearing at all.
"Is Karofsky blackmailing you into having sex with him?" He comforts himself with realising that he's not the only one who sometimes thinks the worst of Dave. And Rachel had already explained to him why she'd initially thought such a thing -not because she thought Dave was some sexual deviant but because Dave didn't give off the air of being 'nice' or even that he was attracted to boys. But then again neither did Puck so she just went with things. "Finn saw him kiss you in the locker room, and he told me, and we were just worried. Is that why he didn't report you punching him? Is that what he's holding over you?"
"You know what," Puck stands and glares at them, "fuck both of you." Rachel tried to get him to talk more about the whole deal with these two, she said that sharing what happened might help him move past it, since he wanted to move on completely, and that it wasn't fair on Dave, if they did have a relationship, to be working things out with all the past baggage (Puck thinks she was reading out of one of those chick magazines she had). "Because I kissed him, okay? Not the other way around. And no, he's not blackmailing me, and yes it is a mutually satisfying arrangement," he fucking hates that word, but he can't use the 'R' word yet, "and frankly it's none of your business." He's not over it. He's still hurt, still upset, still a little bit heart broken that they both wanted something that wasn't him and he just wanted them. It fucking sucks.
"Puck, dude, c'mon, it's Karofsky." Puck wants to ask what the hell that's supposed to mean, he actually wants to defend Dave to Finn (stranger things have happened), but Kurt cuts in.
"We're your friends," Puck actually laughs, but Kurt keeps on regardless, "we just want to make sure you're okay."
"You know what, I'm not. I'm not okay, and it's not because of Dave, it's because of you pair. And you don't get to be worried; you don't get to check on me. Because neither of you care, we're not friends. We haven't even talked outside of Glee since you both dumped my ass for your precious Quinn and Blaine. So no, you don't get to ask me this shit." Puck shoulders around Finn, standing in front of the door, ready to storm out, "And if you don't mind, keep your fucking mouths shut about me and Dave."
He doesn't feel like going for dip now. He doesn't feel like staying in school, but Rachel would kill him and his Ma would freak and he's not that much of a pussy. So he heads out to the bleachers -he knows Rachel will look for him there before anywhere else- and just sits there for a while. It's messed up. He shouldn't still care about Finn or Kurt, he shouldn't, but somehow he does and that is just stupid. Rachel and her stupid 'love is beautiful' bullshit are just messing him up because love fucking sucks. He still loves them, and thinks he might be a little in love with Dave too -which is stupid, because it's not going to last, Dave isn't going to stick around- and they're all happy and in love with their other people. Quinn and her fucking Prom psychosis and Blaine and his fucking no imperfections -seriously, was that boy grown in a fucking test tube?
Frankly, he's not sure what it was that he did when they were together that meant neither of them wanted to be with him. He's pretty sure that he wasn't an asshole and really, as far as that being his first relationship -two people or whatever- he thinks he handled it pretty well. He wasn't clingy, didn't get jealous or possessive, wasn't constantly calling or texting, he was faithful and supportive; he actually listened to everything Kurt said and tried to help. Honestly, he was a whole lot different from what he usually was when he was hooking up. Like he was a legit boyfriend or whatever -his only practice at that had been Rachel in Sophomore year and that had lasted less than a week. Bt really, he wasn't like Quinn; he didn't demand Finn spend time with him, or listen to him whine about weight or whatever. He sure as shit wasn't like Blaine; making Kurt feel like he wasn't sex, telling him he tried too hard, ignored his feelings in favour of a GAP kid (seriously, the GAP? Who the hell even shopped there anymore?).
It was after lunch when Rachel appeared, carrying a bottle of water and two power bars. "I didn't know you weren't with the jocks until all the good food was gone." And really, it's okay, because he's hitting up Artie's later and Artie's mom always makes far too much food and fobs it off on Puck. "Tina said after you stormed out, Finn and Kurt came out of Miss Leighton's physics class." He sort of hates that there are so many people in glee or whatever. It's hard to keep things quiet, and everyone knows everyone else’s business and it just sucks sometimes. "You want to talk about it?"
"Finn thought Dave was blackmailing me. That he kissed me in the locker room and was forcing me into stuff." She just nods, like she knew he'd come to that conclusion, because she did too. "Kurt said they were my friends, that they were worried." He still can't believe that they actually think that. They probably don't know shit about his life right then. He can't remember the last time they hung out -either of them, with him. Unless it was school, football or glee related, Puck hadn't even spoken to them. "It's just so fucking stupid. I want to get mad, but I'm just so damn tired of it."
Rachel shuffled closer, slipping her arm through Puck's and resting her head on his shoulder. She didn't have anything to say, didn't offer any of those empty words that everything would be all right, that it would get better. He'd be better just living in a box at this rate.
And it only gets worse.
The next day, Rachel practically storms him first thing in the morning, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the auditorium before school even starts and Puck has no idea why. Until Rachel waves the school newspaper in front of his face -didn't they stop printing that shit?- and he has to snatch it from her before she hits him in the face with it. "How did they know? Did Finn say something? Would Dave? Oh, Noah, this is horrible. They're printing all these horrid things about people and it's just terrible." He lets her rant away while he reads through the pages -apparently Sam is having an affair with Quinn, Gerard from the AV club is under going a sex change, Donna Maitless from the Cheerio's is having Rod Remington’s baby, Santana plays for both teams and the lunch lady is secretly the mother to more than five students in the school who don't know it. Oh, and Noah Puckerman is sleeping with a mystery male schoolmate.
He's still staring at the page when Rachel rounds off her rant, "that is just blatant speculation and they cannot get away with printing it."
"Do you honestly think Sam is fooling around with Quinn? Or that Mrs Loomis even pro-created once never mind five times in secret?" Some these, yeah, spot on -like about Santana, and him and probably about Gerard too- but others are just, you know, lies and speculation. "Come on, Coach S is the one who's running it. Of course it's going to be rife with inaccuracies." Rachel doesn't calm down though, she just paces the stage and Puck sits and waits, absently filling out the crossword -what is Coach Sylvester's favourite colour? How many National Championships has Coach Sylvester won? Who is the greatest person alive, two words, 3,9, first word Sue- until she finally stops and just takes a deep breath.
"I can see you're not overly concerned about this." He just shrugs, because he figures that if he freaks out right now he's not going to pull together and that'll be him for the rest of the day and then people will just assume it's true based on his reaction. He does plan on breaking his 'no messing up the dorks' pledge and ruining Jacob Ben Israel's day for sure, but beyond that, it'll be business as usual.
"Shit's gonna happen either way." And it does, because Finn over reacts in glee and Sam storms out and Rachel gets frustrated and Quinn starts yelling and Puck just ignores the glances that Mike and Artie throw at him while Brittany mopes over Santana's bitch fest and Lauren eats some popcorn declaring this the best shit ever. Puck is just figuring out that they are all screwed up anyway.
He's totally blown away when Karofsky shows up at his house, because really, with the rumours, he'd expected that Dave wouldn't come near him at all. But he's not doing it out of like, concern or anything, and Puck can totally see it. "Did you say something? Did Finn? What the fuck, Puckerman?" Ever since the concussion, Dave's been using his name, just like Puck's been using Dave's and that was possibly the first slip on the slide towards those annoying feelings and Puck should've caught it. He's just glad that his Ma and Sarah aren't home because Dave isn't being quiet or actually, you know, thinking.
"Dude, it's a glorified bullshit rag," Puck throws back, eyes narrowing at the accusations, "Sylvester is just throwing her bitch-face around." But Dave just pushes at Puck's chest, both of them exerting their strength and Puck's temper flaring. "Seriously, what the fuck is your problem? There's not a thing about you there, so just fuck off. If anyone should be pissed it should be me." But he's not, because he doesn't give a shit anymore, people can think whatever the hell they want, Puck'll screw whoever the hell he likes and it's got nothing to do with anyone.
"I swear to God, if Hudson said something," Dave doesn't finish the statement, he just muscles Puck up against the wall and surges in to kiss him -rough and hard and teeth splitting Puck's lip, and all it does it spurn Puck on really, hands grabbing for shoulders. It's really very familiar; clothes barely coming off, hands grabbing roughly, Dave doing the minimal work he can get away with before pressing into Puck and Puck just grunting and pressing his forehead against the wall, because he's remembered where it's familiar from. It doesn't make him stop, doesn't make him say anything, he just lets Dave keep going, gripping his hips so tight that Dave's hands are going to be imprinted there for days, weeks maybe, and then his teeth sink into Puck's throat and Puck's back arches backwards in a bow and Puck's coming over his mother's wall and biting his own lip to muffle the noise. Dave follows with a few more thrusts and then leans forward, catching his breath with his head pressed against Puck's neck and he's waiting for it, his stomach is in knots just waiting for it and he can't even enjoy the post-sex buzz like usual.
"We're done." It's weird, he'd knew it was coming, knew that Dave was backing off, knew that it was done, but those words still fucking hit him like a brick and he feels this tightening in his throat, feels this clench in his chest, and shit he really was starting to fall for Dave, wasn't he. There's nothing to say, because it's all horrifically familiar and Puck's definitely over this bullshit. Dave pulls himself together and Puck doesn't bother saying anything, not even when Dave presses against his back again, arm slipping around Puck's waist to stroke his stomach and his lips pressing against Puck's throat -Dave's not ending them for someone else though, Dave's not pulling back because he's got someone better, he's just scared and concerned for his reputation. His image is more important than whatever they are. Puck doesn't know what hurts more.
He stays there for a minute, before finally pulling away and leaving with a slam of the door and Babe comes rushing downstairs and barking and Puck needs to pull himself together, wipe down the wall and just lock himself in his room before his Ma and Sarah comes back.
When Sarah comes bouncing into his room, Babe hot on her heels and making herself at home on Puck's bed, he's sitting on the floor with his games console on -only he's not playing it at all, and Sarah starts rambling on and on about Maggie and Dora and how her friends are totally stupid and she's super smart and she's going to be the coolest kid at dance class this year. Puck just nods and lets her talk until she bolts off to have her bath and he gets up to close the door after telling his Ma that no, he doesn't want anything to eat before she heads to work. He goes back to sitting in front of his television, staring at it but not playing, and after a while, Babe comes to sit on his knees and Puck just sighs and calls Rachel like he's been debating doing for the last forty minutes, ever since Dave left.
"Good evening Noah, how are you?"
"Seriously, you answer the phone like a freakin' nutcase. Why can't you just say hello?" He's stalling, but that's not the point. He calls Rachel all the time so it's not like she'll think something's wrong straight off the bat.
"I happen to think that phone etiquette is a lost art, Noah. You are a prime example of that."
"What's wrong with how I answer the phone?"
"'Sup', is not an appropriate greeting." She's gotten on at him for that ever since they started phoning each other to talk about random shit -he knows she likes having someone to call, because while she's got more friends in the club now, none of them really sit and just talk with her (and she's sort of fazing Kurt out or something, he's noticed and he would tell her to stop it but he sort of likes that she's picking him over Kurt) so he lets her rag on him just because. "Did you hear? Santana blew Brittany off for her Fondue for Two interview. She did an interview with Lord Tubbington instead."
"That cat is more interesting than Santana anyway." He feels bad for Britt -after what went down with Artie, and boy was that stupid, (no pun intended) it's not fair on her that Santana suddenly can't handle people talking about her. Him and Santana have always had people talking about them. Not the same way Quinn and Finn always had it, Quinn and Finn got all this awe and wonder, but him and San got the bullshit and dirt, but they owned that shit so who the hell cared? Now suddenly, Santana is worried about other people’s opinions over Brittany? That shit just isn't kosher.
"All this with that ridiculous newspaper is just horrible. I feel so bad for Sam, getting caught in the middle of all of this, and poor Brittany; she didn't mean anything by what she said."
"Dave and I are done." He just throws it there, because she's talking about this stupid paper and he's fucking pissed at it now, because some kid he used to throw slushies at got pissed off or whatever and now suddenly he's getting this shit thrown around. "It's the thing with the paper. He's blown me off because people are talking about me."
"Oh, Noah." He sort of wishes he'd just gone over to her place now, he could actually admit -at least to himself- that he wouldn't turn down a hug right now. "I'm so sorry." He just sighs back at her, tells her what happened and she explains that he really needs to think about talking to people before allowing them to engage in sexual intercourse with him, because really, these goodbye fucks were not healthy. Puck manages to laugh at that; because only she would suggest that he talk instead of have sex. "Are you okay?"
"I dunno. I think so. I mean, maybe." He figures he's getting used to it, right? Three relationships -for lack of a better word- with boys, and three times they've picked something or someone else over him. "Maybe I'll just stick to the girls, you know? Because, this whole thing is just bumming me out." Really, he's actually starting to wonder if there is something wrong with him and before he started sleeping with dudes he never did. "Who's taking you to Prom?"
"I'm not sure. I was thinking that I would ask Sam, if he wasn't seeing anyone. I take it you were going to go stag?"
"Yeah, I was going with Lauren." Lauren was badass, and when she'd commented that she used to do those pageants as a kid, she got a little torn up -he wasn't blind, he saw it. So, he'd asked her to be his date to Prom -not in a pity sense, just because hell, she's badass and he's badass they should just be badass together. "Then one of the guys on her team asked her out, like in a proper date sort of way, so I told her it was cool." Because if the guy was brave enough to actually date Zizes, knowing that she could body slam him and rupture his testicles and possibly rearrange his spine, well, power to him. "So, Puckzilla is a free agent." Quite literally, because hell, if he got some play at Prom there was nothing to hold him back.
"I can remember the day when Puckzilla would have five girls all lined up to be his Prom dates."
"Shit Rach, c'mon, I'm growing as a person here." Which he was, all told. He wasn't even that bothered with meaningless sex anymore. "It's late, I'mma let you go, okay?" Because he knew she liked to get a full eight hours sleep and got up at a ridiculous time just so that she could do her morning work out. "I'll see you at school tomorrow."
"You're sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, Rachel. I'll be fine." They say their goodnights and Puck hears his Ma start to get ready to head out and he looks at Babe, dead asleep over his knees -and snoring, seriously, his little yapper of a mutt snores more than an obese guy with sinus problems. He puts her down in her stupid little doggy bed that Sarah insisted they get her back when she was Sarah's dog and then gets himself into a shower before tossing himself into bed too. It's unusual that he heads to bed before midnight, but he thinks he's got a pretty good excuse today and he just does it. Besides, meeting Rachel every morning before school means he actually needs to wake up before half-eight.
And she's right there in the car park, waiting for him with a hug and he laughs into her hair because he's a little less bothered with this girly crap since she started being his friend. "I wanted to give you one last night, but I had to save it for today." He doesn't mind at all. Everything is fine up until lunch when the next issue of that stupid newspaper comes out -three teachers are implied in pot smoking, two Cheerio's are thought to be moonlighting as strippers, one of the hockey guys sold his kidney on the black market to pay for a new set of teeth, Sam is caught in a Kurt-Sam-Quinn triangle story and Puck, apparently, has three possibilities for his secret footballer boyfriend. Jacob spends the afternoon crammed into a locker when he tries to ask Puck about the rumours and Rachel doesn't even tell him off for it.
Thankfully, all of glee is focused on the Sam thing -which makes Puck feel like a douche because he's sort of glad he's not dealing with this shit. Finn's mad at Quinn and Mercedes is just asking Kurt quietly if it's true and Sam doesn't even show up for glee. Rachel sends Puck off to find him, and it's not exactly hard to do, because Sam's like Puck and they find a place to chill and they use it. For Sam, it's the weight room. So, Sam spills his blond little heart to Puck while Puck spots him on the weight bench and yeah, Puck gets it. "Dude, I know I'm not all touchy feely and shit, but you should probably talk to them." By them, he means the whole club. "Yeah, we're a dysfunctional bunch of idiots and losers, but man, we stick together."
Sam's little brother and sister are around Sarah's age, so he offers his place for the nights when it gets too cold, because they always have heating. Rachel's Daddy knows someone on the housing committee and she looks into getting him on a list for a new place, Mercedes' Dad has a vacancy for a receptionist if Sam's Mom wants it and Quinn's uncle knows a few people who could maybe get Sam's Dad a job. The little muppet actually tears up and forces them to have a group hug right there in the middle of the choir room. Rachel's all pleased that something turned out well, even if she gives him this sad little smile -because yeah, they totally noticed the way that Sam took Mercedes' hand.
"So, that's the Sam rumours cleared up. Now," Quinn turns to Puck with a smirk on her face, "what's going on Puckerman?"
"Well, apparently I've fucked every girl in Lima, so I'm moving onto the guys." Her face is fucking priceless, and Puck thinks that totally makes up for the way Kurt and Finn glance at each other.
"Noah, stop it." Rachel swats at his arm with a smile, and he just grabs her wrist to pull her closer and wrap an arm around her shoulders -Quinn is totally trying to get him to 'fess up to dating Rachel, he knows it. She thinks it'll stop Finn from looking at Rachel all the time or something. And right then, Finn is definitely frowning at them both like he's trying to figure something out.
"So you'd rather people thought you were gay than dating Rachel? Wow, what a compliment." Rachel gets this quiet way that Puck hates and he just rolls his eyes.
"Rach and I are friends, Q. She's still up for anyone to grab. So if we both want to hang out while we're on the market, it's nothing to do with you." He leaves with Rachel, Mercedes and Sam, heading to Breadsticks for something to eat once they pick up their siblings -and Rachel actually evens it out since Sam has two and she can borrow one for the duration of the night, leaving the rest of glee to amuse themselves.
Sam and Mercedes agree to go to Prom together, and Rachel hedges that maybe she and Puck should go together, so he says yeah and then both girls go off on this big old spiel about their dresses and Sarah is throwing in suggestions with Stacey while the boys just roll their eyes. But it's good; it's nice, it's sort of like, what, normal? Sarah tells him that she loved it and had a great time and actually comes out with him to walk Babe and won't shut up about how awesome Sam's siblings are and how they're going to her school and she's going to make them her best friends and they'll all be super awesome just like Sam and Noah. He sort of feels like he's shot himself in the foot right there.
And shit gets worse when he bumps into Kurt -out with Blaine- in the park. "Hey, go play with Babe, yeah?" He gives Sarah the ball and unleashes Babe and off they go top hopefully wear themselves out so he doesn't need to deal with getting a hyperactive Sarah to go to bed later.
"Wait, that's really your dog?" Blaine asks, staring after Sarah and Babe and Puck frowns.
"No, that's my sister." He manages to deadpan it, and Blaine frowns for a moment, looking to Kurt who just shakes his head before looking back at Puck. "Yes, it's my dog." Truth be told, Babe wasn't all that bad anyway -except when she shed like a fucking bitch and left hair everywhere and he had to clean it all up because she was his responsibility, or when she puked in the kitchen and that time she got sick and fucking Christ dogs can throw up like a motherfucker. "Why?"
"It's just, you know, not a dog I would've pictured you having."
"She was meant to be for Sarah," that's a lie, she was for Mercedes, "but she isn't really down with taking care of a pet yet. So, Babe's just sort of mine now." Blaine nods, looking back over to see Sarah and Babe rolling around. "Out for a romantic stroll?" He's proud that he doesn't spit that out, he's still a little bitter, sure, but he can manage to not be a total dick it seems, and good for fucking him. Blaine smiles this stupid sappy smile and Puck wants to break his teeth, while he takes Kurt's hand in his and Puck knows that the romantic walk was Blaine's idea.
"It's just so nice out here." Seriously? Puck glances from Kurt to Blaine back to Kurt and really? Does Blaine even know that Kurt does not like this bullshit -sure, Kurt's all for the big romantic relationship thing, he wants to fall in love and be whisked off his feet and courted and taken out and all that stuff, Puck knows it all, he's heard it all, he listened to it. But Blaine?
"You're in Lima Memorial. There are twelve homeless guys that sleep on the benches that'll probably show up in around about twenty minutes to claim their beds. Cindy is the hooker that picks up stragglers down by the pond and the druggies will descend on the play park in about an hour to get high and ride it out on the roundabout. Not to mention all this dry, cold air, probably making Kurt want to moisturise the hell out of his cheeks and he's gonna get a cold cause it's like freezing and you've got like one layer on." Seriously, no fucking sense at all. Blaine stares at him, just the same way Kurt is. "Oh whatever. Enjoy your romantic stroll through reality."
He just walks away without saying anything else, picking up Sarah when she gets tired and walking them through to the other end of the park and heading home before all the shit that happens actually happens. Cindy's just taking up her post as he gets Sarah out to the street.
Kurt stands at his locker the next morning, glaring at him and Puck is totally just ignoring him. "Did you have to be so rude?"
"Are you shitting me? He thinks opening yourself up to a potential mugging or stabbing is romantic?"
"You took Sarah out there."
"I live there, Kurt." He's always been around the drunks and the homeless guys and the hookers -he fucking knows Cindy's daughter for crying out loud, so it's not a big deal for him to straggle at the end of the night in the park and have a chat with Kicks or Shuffles -they're two of the more harmless drunks in the area. But for kids like Blaine and Kurt, who practically scream 'we've got some money and Daddy will pay to keep us’, it's just retarded. "But hey, if your boytoy wants to parade you through the park with a sign that says 'kidnap me now', please, feel free." Puck slammed his locker and started to walk away, but Kurt sort of trailed after him, touching Puck's elbow when he want them to slip into a deserted classroom -seriously, what was with Finn and Kurt and empty classrooms? "What now?" He was tired of dealing with Kurt and Finn, he'd love for the year to be done soon so that summer could really start and they could just ignore each other, and maybe by then, he'd be over all this.
"What's going on with you?" He's stunned by the question, because he's not sure what Kurt really means. "I know that Finn and I haven't really been paying attention, and I am sorry about that, but, Noah, I'm worried." Puck sits at the edge of a desk, letting Kurt pace at the front of the room and ramble off whatever. "Now, if you and Dave are both happy in your relationship, then that's fine, I guess. I'm happy for you," Kurt throws a look towards Puck that says he's not really happy for Puck, and he figures it's because of the whole Dave bullying Kurt -but that led Kurt to Blaine, didn't it, so shouldn't Kurt be all happy and shit?- "but, really, Noah, your behaviour is, well, erratic. And I remember what it was like, when you and Finn, and I'm assuming that it's the same with Karofsky," Puck watches Kurt's eyes go to Puck's throat and he remembers that there's still a healing bruise there from Dave's teeth and he can't help but raise a hand to cover it before stopping. "I'm just, I just-" Kurt stops pacing and stands in front of Puck, putting his hands on Puck's knees and staring right at him. "Is he hurting you? Is he pushing things past your boundaries?"
Puck doesn't know how to answer, because beyond that one, first time where Dave didn't have a clue what he was doing, he's been nothing but careful with everything. It's not like Puck's into anything super kinky or anything, he just gets off on a little pain, right? And Dave's down with the biting and gripping and that's cool. Except they're over now and he should just tell Kurt that but Kurt's like this close to him and he's being all concerned and involved and Puck's thrown back to this place where he remembers how good it felt to kiss Kurt, to run his hands up Kurt's soft skin and the noises that Kurt made. How it feels to fuck Kurt, to have Kurt wrapped around him, to fall asleep pressed against Kurt with his arms and legs tangled. God, he was such a pussy.
"Noah," Kurt's hand shifts from his knee to his face, stroking his jaw and Puck can't stop himself from leaning into it and letting his eyes close. "What is he doing to you?" It snaps him out of it, and Puck pulls away, pushing Kurt back and moving from the desk.
"Nothing, okay? We're not doing anything because we're done. And no, he never hurt me." Not like Kurt's thinking.
"You're lying. I can still see it, Noah. You think you hide everything but there is a pain in your eyes and I just want to help, I just want to be friends again." Kurt takes another two steps towards him and Puck uses the tip of his finger to stop Kurt from getting too close, pushing him back.
"Dave didn't put that look there," he thinks it might be the same thing that Rachel said she saw, that heartbreak, "that was you and Finn." It's the closest he's come to telling Kurt or Finn that they fucked it up, that they screwed him over, that he felt something more than they did. That it was why he didn't try to stay friends, that it was why he didn't want them to try to stay friends. Kurt just stares for a minute and Puck's getting himself ready to leave when Kurt moves, pushing Puck's hand aside and plastering himself to Puck's chest and bringing their mouths together.
There's a bare moment of hesitation before Puck pulls his arms around Kurt to keep him close and opens his mouth to the onslaught. Kurt's hand holds to the back of Puck's head, fingers gripping the short hair of his mohawk as he moans into Puck's mouth and Puck just groans against him, stumbling forward until Kurt is pressed against a desk and Puck leans forward, pressing them against each other without any space between them. Kurt tastes exactly like Puck remembers, and his body arches into Puck's chest in all the right ways as Puck's hand slides up Kurt's back, fingers pressing to his spine before his hand fists in Kurt's hair. They break apart for air and Puck leans his forehead against Kurt's shoulder while the smaller boy runs his fingers along Puck's 'hawk.
"I miss you; I've missed you so much." Kurt's words are gasped against Puck's cheek, and it takes him a little moment to pull himself together and untangle from Kurt, because Kurt is dating Blaine, and Puck's already gotten in the middle of relationships and come out feeling like shit. He's already feeling like shit from his own relationships, he doesn't need other peoples doing that to him too.
"Yeah, well you were the one that walked away." He can't even look back as he turns and leaves, because if he does he knows for a fact that he won't leave.
The whole 'budget prom' thing is actually fun; he has a laugh with Rachel that he'd never have with a proper date and he digs that, Sam and Mercedes are totally obvious about being into each other -and good for Sam, really, because Mercy is like ten times better than Quinn or San, and the boy seems to be picking up on that. They get to Prom and while they all sort of swap around on performing, everyone is having a blast, until the announcement of Prom King and Queen comes up. Santana's all smug with herself when Dave gets crowned King and Rachel slips her hand into his to squeeze it tightly. He still thinks she's reading too far into his feelings for Dave -because yeah, he liked the guy and yeah he thought they could be okay, and Dave clearly liked him too -hello, orgasms- but he wasn't actually in love with Karofsky. They share a look, one look, when Dave steps towards the front of the stage before Dave looks away.
It's not until the Queen announcement that shit hits the fan and all the drama spills. Kurt's face is agonising to see, with him storming out, Puck really wants to go after him, Blaine hesitates -seriously, he fucking hesitates- before running after Kurt, Santana storms off with Britt following and Quinn runs out in tears with an awkward looking Finn following her. Mercedes looks like she's ready to kill someone for hurting her boy and Sam just turns to Puck with a scared sort of look -and yeah, Puck's a little scared of Mercy too. Dave fucks up again when he storms off instead of dancing with Kurt, and then Blaine makes the offer and Kurt just looks sad all the way through it. He catches Puck's gaze once, and Puck's almost drawn in, almost wants to get Kurt to meet him in one of those deserted classrooms and they can just ignore him walking away earlier. But Rachel is a saving grace from Puck and his own stupidity.
"Wanna get out of here?" He likes dancing with Rachel, because he doesn't stand on her feet and their almost the same height and she's just warm and soft and not expecting anything.
"Everyone expects that to be my line, and if we leave now, they'll think I'm popping your Berry-cherry." Everyone like Santana and Quinn, and that shit might be all over the school by next week. Not that Puck even cares about rumours anymore, but really, Rachel doesn't need that drama.
"I don't care, lets get out of here before I slap all those boys for hurting you." He walks her home, kisses her forehead and then walks across town to his house, it's the tamest night he's ever had -he didn't even spike the damn punch. When he gets home, Kurt's sitting on his front step, crown in hand and this little frown on his face. Puck has to admit he sort of likes Kurt's weird ass get up -the kilt is probably just classic Kurt, but it's not like anyone in their school can even appreciate Kurt's off the wall tastes.
"Hey," Kurt looks up at him as he approaches, sitting on the step beside Kurt and listening to hear the noise of the television in the front room. His Ma probably fell asleep with the TV on because it's after midnight and she's got a tendency to do that when she's not working. "What're you doing here?" He would've thought that Kurt had some magical night all planned out with Blaine, one that didn't include sitting in front of Puck's house in the early hours of the morning after what should've been a great night for him.
"I wanted to see you." Kurt's staring at the cracks in the slabs in front of him though, not looking at Puck, and he figures he can give Hummel a few minutes before he declares this a waste of time and tells the diva to go home. "I'm not in love with Blaine." It's like Kurt's talking to himself really. "I thought I was, I honestly did. I thought he was this perfect guy that I should be madly in love with, he was so supportive and so nice and we could talk about everything. He holds my hand in public and he kisses me sweetly, he's waiting for me to be ready -I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm a virgin. We share all the same interests and I should love him, I know it." Puck wants to point out that him and Rachel do half that stuff -because since they became friends, Puck's only kissed Rachel once to get her to stop freaking out about some stupid audition for some summer play where her co-star told her she couldn't kiss properly and Puck was hell bent on showing her that she really, really could. But anyway. Kurt apparently, isn't in love with Blaine, and Kurt, for some reason, feels that Puck should know this.
"Kurt," he really doesn't know what he's meant to say. Because there's no way that Kurt doesn't understand what Puck had been saying, there's no way that Kurt doesn't get that Puck pretty much admitted to being in love with Kurt, who then dumped him for Blaine. So, he's not sure where this is going or what Kurt's point is.
"I get that we hurt you," Kurt turns his body towards Puck, their knees bumping together, "I got an earful from Rachel one night when I was talking about Blaine," Kurt's tone tells Puck that he was complaining, "and while I'm a little surprised that you chose Rachel Berry of all people to confide in, she had a lot of valid points."
"Don't rag on her, okay? She's been awesome." She defends him when people call him a loser, when they call him dumb or useless. He'll defend her to hell and back when people put her down just for being ambitious and a good friend.
"I know, I get it." Kurt shifts a little closer again, and Puck doesn't move away like he should. "I figured it out tonight. You would've danced with me, wouldn't you? We wouldn't have hid away like a secret; you would've danced with me in front of the whole school." Puck just shrugged his shoulders, because he's pretty sure he would've. Whatever they'd had, he'd fallen in love with both of them and he'd wanted to do whatever they wanted, so long as he still got them. He would've pretended to just be with Kurt or Finn so long as he got them and he would've pretended to be with neither of them if that's what it took. But Kurt seemed to think it would've stayed a secret to everyone, that Puck wouldn't do those romantic things that Kurt talked about -like taking him out for dinner (he'd looked up this pretty awesome French place just outside of Lima that Kurt would love that he'd planned on going to, he'd even made reservations, two days before Kurt blew him off for Blaine), holding his hand in public (except he totally had to stop himself those few times they went to the mall together and Kurt's knuckles brushed against Puck's) or just gone out somewhere for a nice time. Puck was all for it, really, because he got over the whole 'pussy' factor and figured, shit, he was in love with this guy, why the hell wouldn't he take him out places?
"I don't know what you want from me, Kurt. Seriously, I just don't know." Kurt was always harder to read than Finn, because Finn wore everything right there and just blurted out every random thought he ever had. It was sort of endearing or whatever, but Kurt was always a challenge, with his Ice Princess persona and Puck had started to get good at puzzling him out before he lost the knack and they were done.
"I want you to give me another chance. I want you to say you don't hate me, that there's still something here, that we can maybe try and salvage something." Kurt's pressed right in against Puck now, his forehead pressing to the side of Puck's head, lips brushing Puck's ear and God, he's such a push-over for this boy because that's all it takes. "I don't want Blaine; I don't want anyone but you. Please, Noah, just one chance, I'll show you."
Puck just turns his head, pressing his lips to Kurt's and pulling him in close. He doesn't know if he is just that masochistic, if he's just that stupid that he keeps going back for more heartache, but he still wants Kurt, still loves the stupid little diva even if he did throw it in his face. He's not got the willpower to say no. Kurt hums against Puck's mouth and then climbs into his lap, arms around Puck's neck as they press together. Rachel is going to bitch him out for this, but fuck, with Kurt pressed against him and licking into his mouth, Puck doesn't even care.
He just really hopes Kurt's serious about this.