GLEE: Not Worth the Fall
Title: Not Worth the Fall
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman, Dave Karofsky, ensemble
Pairing: Kurt/Puck/Finn, Dave/Puck
Warnings: implied Threesome
Spoilers: references of 2.17 Night of Neglect and 2.18 Born This Way.
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
A/N: Continuation of Only Seems Kinky the First Time | Not of Average Arrangement | Operating Manual Optional | Taste in Men.
Summary: Discovering that your heart is legit broken and trying to fix it is not as easy as it is made out to be. At all.
Series: Part Five in 'Sex and Waffles'
So, they win Regional's. Puck's pretty sure that's a big deal and whatever, but even while they're all celebrating, he catches sight of Kurt and that Blaine kid is just gazing at him with these lovey dovey eyes and Puck wants to hit something. Thankfully Coach S does it and the whole atmosphere is broken and Puck can shake it all off. Really, it's one thing to see Quinn and Finn being all in love and whatever around school, Puck just wasn't prepared to see Kurt with his boy -the same one that called Kurt unsexy, the one that kissed Rachel right in front of Kurt, the one who had to be hit in the face with just how awesome Kurt was.
He really doesn't want to sound like Rachel, so he keeps his mouth shut, but the fuck if this feels fair.
But it's not as if he's going to say anything. He just goes on about his life, pathetic as it may be, and lets them do the same. They're still sort of friends, really. Not friends like before or even during because Kurt doesn't even call a third of as much as he used to, and Finn is always checking his schedule around Quinn and really, Puck just lets them get on with it. He hangs out with Artie when he's figuring out this Geometry bullshit -which isn't actually all that hard- and he chills with Mike when Tina's doing girly shit with Mercedes and Rachel, and he hangs out with Lauren when she asks him to come see some beat 'em up movie or if there's a wrestling tournament and she wants him to come with her -he knows that she mostly only does it because the girls who are dating the other teams wrestlers make comment about her, so Puck totally makes a point on letting them check him out and when Lauren annihilates their boys, he's there to sling an arm around her shoulders and press a kiss to her cheek in front of them all and watch her grin at him. She's totally badass anyway.
He still has football and glee with Finn, so he knows all about the whole Quinn being totally jealous of Rachel and paranoid that Finn will cheat -and really, she's just being a total hypocrite but whatever. So, when Mr Schue does his whole 'Hat of Fate' thing and Quinn pulls out Puck's name, and Finn pulls out Rachel's, it's the start of yet another domestic drama in Glee Club. Rachel is hurt by the way Finn dismisses her as nothing, Finn is annoyed that Quinn doesn't trust him, Quinn is upset because everything comes back to Rachel and the rest of them are just so over it. So Puck, sick and tired of watching this, just takes the names and swaps them.
"There, do your lovey dovey bullshit and stop arguing, I'll work with Rach." And he sees that sort of grateful smile turn at the corner of Berry's mouth -because she's still convinced that no one likes her or something, and Quinn and Finn just stop arguing enough to stare at him. "What? We sound awesome together." And they do, Rachel is pretty awesome about picking songs and working them out, she divides the parts up pretty well and Puck learned all this when they sang Need You Now, so he really doesn't mind working with Rachel again. She's totally not half as annoying any more.
She's working out the parts of 'Flightless Bird, American Mouth' while he sits on her floor and plucks out parts of the song on his guitar. "You know, you didn't have to do that, in glee. But, thank you."
"Whatever, we're good together." And he really means that as just a partnership in music -because they are not good together in anything else, and Rachel has already pointed that out, sexual tension aside. "Besides, Finn was being a douche." Puck's more than happy to point that out these days -Finn being a douche, Kurt being a prissy little bitch, he might be a little bit bitter, but it probably isn't too obvious.
"Wow, she really did a number on you."
"What?" His fingers miss the chords and he's staring up at Rachel, sitting at her little vanity table with her notes and the music sheets. "Who did?"
"The girl you were dating." What girl? He wasn't dating any girl, who the hell has been saying they were dating? "It was a secret, I get it. Don't worry, I haven't told anyone, but, I can see these things." If she starts talking about how she's a little bit psychic again, he's going to walk out. "You got all calm, and you stopped flirting with girls in school, so I figured you were maybe dating someone. But you didn't say anything, you weren't even talking about your sexual encounters anymore, I thought it was serious." It's a little scary -like stalker scary- just how much she thinks she knows and just how much she could've known. "But then you got all quiet, and there's this look in your eyes. I see it in mine too."
See, Rachel is annoying, and she talks too much, for all her smarts and her brilliance -and he'll never say that out loud- she's just not good at getting when people are pissed off at her until they actually explode and then she gets upset because she doesn't actually mean to just spout off everything that pops into her head. But she's freaking intuitive, and he hates that she sees this shit, because fuck he thought he was a better liar than that.
"It's heartbreak, isn't it?" Like she's expecting him to answer. He just turns back to plucking out some chords -they aren't even from a song or anything he's trying to play. Because he's been ignoring this part of it -the part that hurts when he sees Finn smiling at Quinn, or when Blaine and Kurt walk through the mall with Mercedes and Tina hand in hand or when Quinn leans in to kiss Finn and he's all gentle and careful with his hands around her hips. He's ignoring all that because he doesn't want to have to admit just what it means. "She broke your heart."
His hands still again. Because there was no she, but that's the only part of that statement that's wrong and he's such a fucking idiot for thinking he could have sex with two of his friends and not end up feeling something. He loved Finn like a brother, and then he threw in sex, so that obviously changed into something else, and Kurt wasn't too different, because the kid was fucking adorable most of the time and insanely sexy the other lot and shit, he was just so fucking idiotic to think that either of them would want to stick it out.
"Why aren't you over Finn?" He's not sure why he asks it, but he feels like this is a big issue -he's never really felt like this before. His heart broke when they gave Beth away, but it's a completely different ache that he feels for her. "I mean, he hurt you pretty bad, right? Breaking up with you, but you still love him. Why?" Maybe there's just some sort of trick to getting over people and moving on, something to stop this stupid stab whenever he sees either of them.
"It's not that easy, Noah." She slips down to sit beside him, and thankfully she doesn't try to hug him, cause that's just a little bit too much after-school special for him. She does press her elbow to his and she does lean a little against his side. It's comfort, presumably, for the boy who never actually thought he'd care enough to have his heart broken. "But it gets easier. I promise."
Rachel Berry is a fucking liar.
Because it doesn't get easier, it just sucks harder every day and Puck's ready to strangle her. But strangely, she turns into like, his new best friend or something. She's probably just using him as a distraction from her own heartache, and that's cool, because it keeps him busy too. And it's mostly completely normal things -helping her in Glee (because they totally kill it every time they play together) or doing some weird JCC thing that he has no idea how she talks him into, or just hanging out in her back yard on nice days with his feet in her pool and her quoting lame movies at him while he guesses what they are -funnily, he gets her movies right more than she gets his right, which is a total riot because she claims he's the sexist one.
The weirdest thing, by far, is the puppy. "I need you to get me a Pomeranian." As far as an opening line goes, it's pretty much one that stops his every thought. Well, almost every thought.
"Is that a euphemism for sex?" Rachel actually blinks twice, looks behind her and then back at him and blinks again.
"While I am unbelievably impressed that you know what a euphemism is and used it correctly," yeah, she figured out that he wasn't as dumb as everyone thought pretty early on, but he totally still impresses her with this shit, "no, it isn't. I really do need you to get me a Pomeranian, preferably a fluffy one."
"What the hell for?"
"For Miss Jones to dry her hands." He's completely stunned for a moment because this is more surreal than that time those Carmel High cheerleaders offered to dress up like ponies and ride him -which he turned down, in case you were wondering, because even he has his limits.
"I'm sorry, Miss Jones," and he kind of hates Lauren a little for encouraging this crap, "needs a puppy? Why the hell doesn't she use a towel like normal people?" But whatever the reason, he's still out at the pound later that day, paying to adopt a stupid fucking puppy -and seriously, he had better be able to sell this thing, because it's ridiculous. He realises later that he does stupid shit for Rachel that he never did for Finn -probably because Finn was never this psychotically unhinged about everything. It sort of pisses him off when Mercedes comes to her senses, stops diva-ing it up and he's left with this stupid little puppy.
Her name is Paris, apparently. And when Blaine sees her, he's all 'oohs' and 'aahs' and 'isn't she just precious' and Puck has never wanted to kick someone in the face as much as he did right then. He kind of wished Paris was rabid and would just eat the smarmy little shit. But she's as docile as a fucking new born lamb and he ends up having to take her home and give her to his sister because the pound don't do give backs. His Ma thinks he's lost his mind, but he's the most awesomest big brother in the whole world according to Sarah -who, thankfully, renames the puppy Babe (and yeah, it's totally after Babe Ruth and not Babe the Sheep Pig, because his little sister is just awesome like that too).
But yeah, dogs are fucking expensive.
"We're friends, right?" This time it's his bedroom floor, and Rachel is playing with Babe while Puck finishes his homework (yet another thing he does because she's his friend) and he just stares over at her. "Right, of course we are. Well, I sort of get the feeling that Finn might still have feelings for me." And of course he does, because Finn finds it impossible to choose between two girls. And these two girls -who are pretty wicked in their own right and he's still not telling either of them that- are still all caught up on him and his goofy face and Puck cannot figure out why he is too.
"Rach, do you seriously want to be with a guy who cannot make up his mind? I mean, he wants you when he has her and he wants her when he has you and he screws Santana just to get back at you for apparently screwing Jesse, all the while being a total douche bag to you and Quinn just because he can't decide if he wants scrambled eggs or an omelette." Puck's not stupid enough to think he's any kind of contender for the claim of Finn's heart or whatever girly shit is going on now, but he's not dumb enough to encourage Rach to go for something when Finn is all gooey eyes over Quinn. "You're better than that shit, move on." He wishes he could make himself do that, but he's totally a pussy when it comes to this whole 'in love' thing and it sucks.
"You shouldn't be so bitter, I know you're hurting, but you shouldn't let that cloud your judgement. Love is, love is wonderful, Noah."
"Really? Because all you and Finn did when you were 'in love' was fight and argue and bitch and worry and stress and bring your drama to other people's lives. It's all Finn and Quinn do too. It's all about if he cares or if you care, or if you don't care. Or if maybe he cares more about this other person, or if they don't really see it working out. Or if something better comes along. And the fighting fucking sucks, Rach. You yell and he yells and it's just pointless because the yelling doesn't change shit. Love is a crock of bull and it should be taken out to the shed and put out of it's misery." Rachel leaves him alone after that, and yeah, he's totally upgraded from bitter to pissed the fuck off and he does not know how to deal with it.
But that's okay, because apparently, Karofsky does.
It's the weirdest shit ever -and that includes how Babe came to be Sarah Puckerman's best friend forever. It's somewhere between talking Rachel out of her nose job, getting Kurt back at McKinley -completely with this sappy as shit declaration from Blaine and a soppy little display from Quinn and Finn- and doing the Born This Way performance. Puck doesn't feel like going home just then so he hits the showers in the guy’s locker room and it's totally a blessing to not have to deal with all the glee club drama. And if Dave's insane speech earlier was weird then the guy stopping by the locker room while Puck's pulling on his jeans is just off the wall -not because he shouldn't be there or anything, but because he stops and stares. And Puck doesn't have any hickeys or scratch marks or bites, so there's nothing to stare at -except Puck.
"Dude, do you want me to break your teeth?" He still doesn't like Karofsky -the guy was a friend, sort of, way back. But only in the sense that they were on the team together. Karofsky was just that little bit more violent than Puck ever was, but Puck's over-dramatic flare (yeah, Rachel totally called it that) and tendency to lead the masses in whatever they did overshadowed Karofsky's more hateful streak. So Puck isn't playing nice just yet, no matter what steps Dave is taking.
Dave just growls at him, apparently shaking himself out of whatever surprise there was, "Like you could, Puckerman, even if you weren't on probation." And that fucking sucks, because he still owes Karofsky a beat down or two from the Kurt drama and the port-a-potty incident but it's so not going to happen today. So whatever, he's just going to have to deal.
"I don't care if there's probation or not," and Puck realises this is probably not helpful or whatever, and Santana's playing some kind of game (because seriously, Santana is picking Karofsky over Brittany? What the hell!) and Puck doesn't have a clue what it's about. But he's not just sitting out of this. "You so much as look at Kurt wrong, and I will introduce your face to the nearest wall. Got it?"
"Yeah?" Dave snorts, squaring himself up and stepping closer, as if it's going to intimidate Puck -Puck who is still just standing in his jeans and nothing else and totally isn't cowing to Karofsky's useless threatening. "You and what army Puckerman? You do that and you're back in the slammer."
"Worth it if I get to rearrange your face first." Ask Puck what happened and he would not be able to tell you, like really wouldn't be able to say. Because he goes from arguing with Dave -expecting a fight really and he's sort of hoping Rachel will back him up when it comes to talking to the teachers because he doesn't actually want to go back to juvie now- to being pressed into the lockers and kissed within a second of passing out. Yeah, he's still a little vague on how it happened.
All he knows is that Dave pushed him and he pushed Dave back -like all those other petty little shoving matches before- and then, somehow, Dave grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss. What's even more surprising is that he allows it. Like flat out lets Karofsky kiss him -its not even just this shocked little peck or anything, Dave pushes his tongue into Puck's mouth and Puck doesn't even consider pulling away or biting or anything. Which is how he ends up pushed into the locker, with Dave pressing against his chest and his mouth open in a kiss that is definitely leaving him fighting for air, because Dave seems to forget that breathing isn't optional.
There's this moment when Dave pulls back, when Puck is just shocked and gasping for air and surprised to find himself totally into that, when he's pretty sure Dave's going to walk away. Except he doesn't, he pushes his hips against Puck's and they're both totally into it so Dave kisses him again and this time, well, this time Puck just goes with it and kisses back. Because at least someone wants him -even if it's not who he'd like. And it's not as if he needs to like Karofsky to do this, not at all, it might work out better for him if he doesn't. There's a thrill, throughout the whole thing, there's a thrill in the back of his neck that spreads down his spine that he didn't know wasn't there before and he's fucking missed it. Karofsky's hands are tight on his hips, and as he tries to turn Puck around to face the lockers, Puck only hesitates for a second, making Dave push just a little harder and Puck turns -it's not that he minds catching, it's not even that he minds that it's Dave, it's more the fact that he's done this already with Finn and mixing up those memories just feels stupid.
But he does. Dave pushes Puck's jeans down and Puck shifts back against Dave's cock and really, why shouldn't he just have this? Except Dave isn't Finn or Kurt, and Dave isn't exactly prepared, so Puck ends up gritting his teeth and trying not to clench as Dave slips on a condom and just pushes in without any prep -it's not rocket science to figure out this is Dave's first go with a guy. It takes a bit, but Dave bottoms out and it's just this flare of discomfort and mild agony that Puck doesn't exactly hate, as Dave grunt something into Puck's shoulder. "You good?" And Puck fucking hates that question now.
"Shut up and go." He's not saying stop, he's not saying no, he's just not. Because Finn is an idiot and Kurt is a little bitch and shit if Puck's putting his life on hold to be an emo little pussy. So Dave fucks him in the locker room, and it's not great, it's dry and hurts and Puck really shouldn't let him, but Dave's fingers are tight on Puck's hip bones and his teeth nip at Puck's neck and his breath is hot on Puck's throat and he still gets off, despite the pain, or maybe because of it. He's not caring. Dave comes with a yell, teeth biting into the curve of Puck's shoulder and Puck follows from just that because it definitely wasn't the fucking.
They end up standing there for a few minutes, Dave pressing his head to Puck's neck and Puck trying to figure out what the hell is going on in his head, leaning against the locker and noting that he totally just jizzed on Anderson's locker again. Dave isn't as tall as Finn, he's not as warm either -because no one is as warm as that walking furnace- and Dave doesn't stroke the lazy, comforting circles on Puck's stomach like Finn always does. Did. Always did.
"Dude," there's a hint of panic in Dave's voice and Puck doesn't have the energy to deal with some freak out -seriously, if Finn and Puck didn't have one why the hell should Karofsky get one?
"Seriously, if you are about to say anything that involves 'don't tell' or 'this never happened' or 'what the fuck' or anything that is some stupid little crisis in your head, fuck off." Puck is not going to listen to someone whine and cry about their sexuality because it's just fucking sex and people need to get the fuck over it. So Dave grabs his clothes from around his ankles and fucks off and Puck takes his time getting himself together because his ass is fucking sore and he just really wants some waffles. It's not going to happen, he has not been conditioned to think after sex comes waffles, because that is Kurt and Finn's thing and there is no thing with Kurt and Finn so he is not getting fucking waffles.
He mopes all the way home, doesn't say a word to anyone and just sprawls on his bed -on his stomach- for the rest of the night. He doesn't even care when Babe climbs onto his back and totally goes to sleep there.
It's awkward the next day. He's trying not to let it show that he's a little stiff, and Dave was an idiot and left marks on Puck's neck so he needs to wear a high collar -which sucks- and he can totally see Dave, beside Santana in those ridiculous red jackets and berets, trying to be subtle about watching Puck. He doesn't care that Rachel is going to bitch at him, Puck skips first and second to sleep in the nurses office and totally makes a point of ignoring everything. He doesn't need this bullshit, he's over it. He doesn't need his life turning into some big production of one failed relationship. So it's done. He's over it. No more.
Why the fuck doesn't this shit work?
Dave actually walks up to him, right after lunch, outside his locker and looks like someone put a knife in his favourite football. Puck just raises an eyebrow in question, because they don't do this whole 'talking' thing -seriously, he does not really talk to Dave at all. It seems to be enough for Karofsky to think they do. "Can we talk?" It's muttered, and low, and apparently it's about the locker room thing yesterday, and frankly if Karofsky thinks he's going to explain to Puck that 'he's not gay' in some empty class room, Puck is going to punch himself in the face. No lie. For the sake of his face, he's sort of relieved that Dave isn't sharing his big-gay denial with Puck. "Look, I know I messed up yesterday." Puck just stares, because they're standing in Mrs Monet's Allegbra class and he's actually talking about that? "I didn't, I mean, there wasn't," Dave scrubs a hand over his face and tries again. "I looked it up, okay, I didn't prep or whatever. I know. And, fuck, Puckerman, I didn't mean to hurt you."
Wow. That is out of this world -not only is Dave not having a big-gay denial fest, but he's actually sat down and looked up the mechanics of gay sex. Puck wonders if that whole 'big gay freak out' thing is just a myth, because three out of three men agree it's just a waste of time or something. Dave just ploughs right on.
"So, I checked and I know it's supposed to take some more work or something and that you probably didn't enjoy yourself and I'm sorry, I just, God, I've never done that before." No shit. Puck just sighs, because he should, technically, get to Spanish -but he's sitting next to Finn and sitting is a little bit awkward right now, so it's not a big deal. "I get it, if you don't want to do it again, but I, I know that I could probably like, make it better if you wanted. You know, so you didn't think that-" He realises now that Dave thinks that was Puck's first time too.
"Dude, I know. It's not a big deal." He's pretty much admitting that he's been fucked before -and it's not a big deal, really, he's not even the least bit bothered by it at all. "It's fine, whatever." Dave just stares at him, and Puck ends up sighing again -seriously, this guy is exhausting, how does Santana do it. "But if you wanna, like, whatever. Fine." Puck's basically offering to be Dave's big-gay experiment, thankfully he is pretty sure that won't end up in feelings or whatever because it's Dave and half the words out of Dave's mouth make Puck want to punch the guy.
"You mean, you'll let me, like," the guy can't even say 'fuck you' and Puck has to roll his eyes.
"Yeah, but not at school, so find somewhere."
"My place? My dads away, it's cool."
"Whatever."
"After school? Today? I mean, if it, you know, doesn't hurt or-" It does hurt, just a touch, like every time he moves, but Puck can't say that he doesn't sort of like it a little -because it's a different hurt from what he's usually feeling, so he just nods.
"Yeah, today's fine." And that is how he ends up being Dave Karofsky's booty call too. Seriously, does he have 'WHORE' printed on the back of his head or something? He can't figure this out. Sure, he's mostly about just sex, but no one even stops to think maybe that's because all people seem to think he's worth is sex. Maybe he's only screwing himself over, but everyone else seems to do it so why the fuck shouldn't he.
And Dave does apparently know somewhat how it works that time -there's lube and prep and Dave's actually trying so Puck just decides that what the fuck ever, whoring around has got him this far, it's worked and he's never been dumped so fine. There are these jolts every time Dave slips his fingers in, nerves that are still a little abused firing off little sparks of pain and Puck hates that he likes it. There's probably too much lube, but it's better maybe, since nothing burns and Dave pushes in to absolutely no resistance this time and they both groan at it. "You're good, right? This is good, fuck, Puck, it's so fucking tight still." He doesn't talk, just grunts and presses back and Dave's fingers find the same places that they were before and Puck gasps at the small pain while bucking into Dave's thrusts. It's better, so much better, than the day before, and Puck can't believe that he actually missed this.
There are five orgasms all told, and Dave says that Puck can spend the night if he wants, because his dad won't be home until tomorrow afternoon, but Puck knows that his Ma will freak the fuck out if he doesn't come home, so he grabs a shower and bails out, even though Dave catches him at the door with a really possessive kiss and it totally almost turns into another blow-job. He still doesn't like Dave, but at least it's something.
If only it would stop him missing Finn and Kurt, that would be great.
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman, Dave Karofsky, ensemble
Pairing: Kurt/Puck/Finn, Dave/Puck
Warnings: implied Threesome
Spoilers: references of 2.17 Night of Neglect and 2.18 Born This Way.
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
A/N: Continuation of Only Seems Kinky the First Time | Not of Average Arrangement | Operating Manual Optional | Taste in Men.
Summary: Discovering that your heart is legit broken and trying to fix it is not as easy as it is made out to be. At all.
Series: Part Five in 'Sex and Waffles'
So, they win Regional's. Puck's pretty sure that's a big deal and whatever, but even while they're all celebrating, he catches sight of Kurt and that Blaine kid is just gazing at him with these lovey dovey eyes and Puck wants to hit something. Thankfully Coach S does it and the whole atmosphere is broken and Puck can shake it all off. Really, it's one thing to see Quinn and Finn being all in love and whatever around school, Puck just wasn't prepared to see Kurt with his boy -the same one that called Kurt unsexy, the one that kissed Rachel right in front of Kurt, the one who had to be hit in the face with just how awesome Kurt was.
He really doesn't want to sound like Rachel, so he keeps his mouth shut, but the fuck if this feels fair.
But it's not as if he's going to say anything. He just goes on about his life, pathetic as it may be, and lets them do the same. They're still sort of friends, really. Not friends like before or even during because Kurt doesn't even call a third of as much as he used to, and Finn is always checking his schedule around Quinn and really, Puck just lets them get on with it. He hangs out with Artie when he's figuring out this Geometry bullshit -which isn't actually all that hard- and he chills with Mike when Tina's doing girly shit with Mercedes and Rachel, and he hangs out with Lauren when she asks him to come see some beat 'em up movie or if there's a wrestling tournament and she wants him to come with her -he knows that she mostly only does it because the girls who are dating the other teams wrestlers make comment about her, so Puck totally makes a point on letting them check him out and when Lauren annihilates their boys, he's there to sling an arm around her shoulders and press a kiss to her cheek in front of them all and watch her grin at him. She's totally badass anyway.
He still has football and glee with Finn, so he knows all about the whole Quinn being totally jealous of Rachel and paranoid that Finn will cheat -and really, she's just being a total hypocrite but whatever. So, when Mr Schue does his whole 'Hat of Fate' thing and Quinn pulls out Puck's name, and Finn pulls out Rachel's, it's the start of yet another domestic drama in Glee Club. Rachel is hurt by the way Finn dismisses her as nothing, Finn is annoyed that Quinn doesn't trust him, Quinn is upset because everything comes back to Rachel and the rest of them are just so over it. So Puck, sick and tired of watching this, just takes the names and swaps them.
"There, do your lovey dovey bullshit and stop arguing, I'll work with Rach." And he sees that sort of grateful smile turn at the corner of Berry's mouth -because she's still convinced that no one likes her or something, and Quinn and Finn just stop arguing enough to stare at him. "What? We sound awesome together." And they do, Rachel is pretty awesome about picking songs and working them out, she divides the parts up pretty well and Puck learned all this when they sang Need You Now, so he really doesn't mind working with Rachel again. She's totally not half as annoying any more.
She's working out the parts of 'Flightless Bird, American Mouth' while he sits on her floor and plucks out parts of the song on his guitar. "You know, you didn't have to do that, in glee. But, thank you."
"Whatever, we're good together." And he really means that as just a partnership in music -because they are not good together in anything else, and Rachel has already pointed that out, sexual tension aside. "Besides, Finn was being a douche." Puck's more than happy to point that out these days -Finn being a douche, Kurt being a prissy little bitch, he might be a little bit bitter, but it probably isn't too obvious.
"Wow, she really did a number on you."
"What?" His fingers miss the chords and he's staring up at Rachel, sitting at her little vanity table with her notes and the music sheets. "Who did?"
"The girl you were dating." What girl? He wasn't dating any girl, who the hell has been saying they were dating? "It was a secret, I get it. Don't worry, I haven't told anyone, but, I can see these things." If she starts talking about how she's a little bit psychic again, he's going to walk out. "You got all calm, and you stopped flirting with girls in school, so I figured you were maybe dating someone. But you didn't say anything, you weren't even talking about your sexual encounters anymore, I thought it was serious." It's a little scary -like stalker scary- just how much she thinks she knows and just how much she could've known. "But then you got all quiet, and there's this look in your eyes. I see it in mine too."
See, Rachel is annoying, and she talks too much, for all her smarts and her brilliance -and he'll never say that out loud- she's just not good at getting when people are pissed off at her until they actually explode and then she gets upset because she doesn't actually mean to just spout off everything that pops into her head. But she's freaking intuitive, and he hates that she sees this shit, because fuck he thought he was a better liar than that.
"It's heartbreak, isn't it?" Like she's expecting him to answer. He just turns back to plucking out some chords -they aren't even from a song or anything he's trying to play. Because he's been ignoring this part of it -the part that hurts when he sees Finn smiling at Quinn, or when Blaine and Kurt walk through the mall with Mercedes and Tina hand in hand or when Quinn leans in to kiss Finn and he's all gentle and careful with his hands around her hips. He's ignoring all that because he doesn't want to have to admit just what it means. "She broke your heart."
His hands still again. Because there was no she, but that's the only part of that statement that's wrong and he's such a fucking idiot for thinking he could have sex with two of his friends and not end up feeling something. He loved Finn like a brother, and then he threw in sex, so that obviously changed into something else, and Kurt wasn't too different, because the kid was fucking adorable most of the time and insanely sexy the other lot and shit, he was just so fucking idiotic to think that either of them would want to stick it out.
"Why aren't you over Finn?" He's not sure why he asks it, but he feels like this is a big issue -he's never really felt like this before. His heart broke when they gave Beth away, but it's a completely different ache that he feels for her. "I mean, he hurt you pretty bad, right? Breaking up with you, but you still love him. Why?" Maybe there's just some sort of trick to getting over people and moving on, something to stop this stupid stab whenever he sees either of them.
"It's not that easy, Noah." She slips down to sit beside him, and thankfully she doesn't try to hug him, cause that's just a little bit too much after-school special for him. She does press her elbow to his and she does lean a little against his side. It's comfort, presumably, for the boy who never actually thought he'd care enough to have his heart broken. "But it gets easier. I promise."
Rachel Berry is a fucking liar.
Because it doesn't get easier, it just sucks harder every day and Puck's ready to strangle her. But strangely, she turns into like, his new best friend or something. She's probably just using him as a distraction from her own heartache, and that's cool, because it keeps him busy too. And it's mostly completely normal things -helping her in Glee (because they totally kill it every time they play together) or doing some weird JCC thing that he has no idea how she talks him into, or just hanging out in her back yard on nice days with his feet in her pool and her quoting lame movies at him while he guesses what they are -funnily, he gets her movies right more than she gets his right, which is a total riot because she claims he's the sexist one.
The weirdest thing, by far, is the puppy. "I need you to get me a Pomeranian." As far as an opening line goes, it's pretty much one that stops his every thought. Well, almost every thought.
"Is that a euphemism for sex?" Rachel actually blinks twice, looks behind her and then back at him and blinks again.
"While I am unbelievably impressed that you know what a euphemism is and used it correctly," yeah, she figured out that he wasn't as dumb as everyone thought pretty early on, but he totally still impresses her with this shit, "no, it isn't. I really do need you to get me a Pomeranian, preferably a fluffy one."
"What the hell for?"
"For Miss Jones to dry her hands." He's completely stunned for a moment because this is more surreal than that time those Carmel High cheerleaders offered to dress up like ponies and ride him -which he turned down, in case you were wondering, because even he has his limits.
"I'm sorry, Miss Jones," and he kind of hates Lauren a little for encouraging this crap, "needs a puppy? Why the hell doesn't she use a towel like normal people?" But whatever the reason, he's still out at the pound later that day, paying to adopt a stupid fucking puppy -and seriously, he had better be able to sell this thing, because it's ridiculous. He realises later that he does stupid shit for Rachel that he never did for Finn -probably because Finn was never this psychotically unhinged about everything. It sort of pisses him off when Mercedes comes to her senses, stops diva-ing it up and he's left with this stupid little puppy.
Her name is Paris, apparently. And when Blaine sees her, he's all 'oohs' and 'aahs' and 'isn't she just precious' and Puck has never wanted to kick someone in the face as much as he did right then. He kind of wished Paris was rabid and would just eat the smarmy little shit. But she's as docile as a fucking new born lamb and he ends up having to take her home and give her to his sister because the pound don't do give backs. His Ma thinks he's lost his mind, but he's the most awesomest big brother in the whole world according to Sarah -who, thankfully, renames the puppy Babe (and yeah, it's totally after Babe Ruth and not Babe the Sheep Pig, because his little sister is just awesome like that too).
But yeah, dogs are fucking expensive.
"We're friends, right?" This time it's his bedroom floor, and Rachel is playing with Babe while Puck finishes his homework (yet another thing he does because she's his friend) and he just stares over at her. "Right, of course we are. Well, I sort of get the feeling that Finn might still have feelings for me." And of course he does, because Finn finds it impossible to choose between two girls. And these two girls -who are pretty wicked in their own right and he's still not telling either of them that- are still all caught up on him and his goofy face and Puck cannot figure out why he is too.
"Rach, do you seriously want to be with a guy who cannot make up his mind? I mean, he wants you when he has her and he wants her when he has you and he screws Santana just to get back at you for apparently screwing Jesse, all the while being a total douche bag to you and Quinn just because he can't decide if he wants scrambled eggs or an omelette." Puck's not stupid enough to think he's any kind of contender for the claim of Finn's heart or whatever girly shit is going on now, but he's not dumb enough to encourage Rach to go for something when Finn is all gooey eyes over Quinn. "You're better than that shit, move on." He wishes he could make himself do that, but he's totally a pussy when it comes to this whole 'in love' thing and it sucks.
"You shouldn't be so bitter, I know you're hurting, but you shouldn't let that cloud your judgement. Love is, love is wonderful, Noah."
"Really? Because all you and Finn did when you were 'in love' was fight and argue and bitch and worry and stress and bring your drama to other people's lives. It's all Finn and Quinn do too. It's all about if he cares or if you care, or if you don't care. Or if maybe he cares more about this other person, or if they don't really see it working out. Or if something better comes along. And the fighting fucking sucks, Rach. You yell and he yells and it's just pointless because the yelling doesn't change shit. Love is a crock of bull and it should be taken out to the shed and put out of it's misery." Rachel leaves him alone after that, and yeah, he's totally upgraded from bitter to pissed the fuck off and he does not know how to deal with it.
But that's okay, because apparently, Karofsky does.
It's the weirdest shit ever -and that includes how Babe came to be Sarah Puckerman's best friend forever. It's somewhere between talking Rachel out of her nose job, getting Kurt back at McKinley -completely with this sappy as shit declaration from Blaine and a soppy little display from Quinn and Finn- and doing the Born This Way performance. Puck doesn't feel like going home just then so he hits the showers in the guy’s locker room and it's totally a blessing to not have to deal with all the glee club drama. And if Dave's insane speech earlier was weird then the guy stopping by the locker room while Puck's pulling on his jeans is just off the wall -not because he shouldn't be there or anything, but because he stops and stares. And Puck doesn't have any hickeys or scratch marks or bites, so there's nothing to stare at -except Puck.
"Dude, do you want me to break your teeth?" He still doesn't like Karofsky -the guy was a friend, sort of, way back. But only in the sense that they were on the team together. Karofsky was just that little bit more violent than Puck ever was, but Puck's over-dramatic flare (yeah, Rachel totally called it that) and tendency to lead the masses in whatever they did overshadowed Karofsky's more hateful streak. So Puck isn't playing nice just yet, no matter what steps Dave is taking.
Dave just growls at him, apparently shaking himself out of whatever surprise there was, "Like you could, Puckerman, even if you weren't on probation." And that fucking sucks, because he still owes Karofsky a beat down or two from the Kurt drama and the port-a-potty incident but it's so not going to happen today. So whatever, he's just going to have to deal.
"I don't care if there's probation or not," and Puck realises this is probably not helpful or whatever, and Santana's playing some kind of game (because seriously, Santana is picking Karofsky over Brittany? What the hell!) and Puck doesn't have a clue what it's about. But he's not just sitting out of this. "You so much as look at Kurt wrong, and I will introduce your face to the nearest wall. Got it?"
"Yeah?" Dave snorts, squaring himself up and stepping closer, as if it's going to intimidate Puck -Puck who is still just standing in his jeans and nothing else and totally isn't cowing to Karofsky's useless threatening. "You and what army Puckerman? You do that and you're back in the slammer."
"Worth it if I get to rearrange your face first." Ask Puck what happened and he would not be able to tell you, like really wouldn't be able to say. Because he goes from arguing with Dave -expecting a fight really and he's sort of hoping Rachel will back him up when it comes to talking to the teachers because he doesn't actually want to go back to juvie now- to being pressed into the lockers and kissed within a second of passing out. Yeah, he's still a little vague on how it happened.
All he knows is that Dave pushed him and he pushed Dave back -like all those other petty little shoving matches before- and then, somehow, Dave grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss. What's even more surprising is that he allows it. Like flat out lets Karofsky kiss him -its not even just this shocked little peck or anything, Dave pushes his tongue into Puck's mouth and Puck doesn't even consider pulling away or biting or anything. Which is how he ends up pushed into the locker, with Dave pressing against his chest and his mouth open in a kiss that is definitely leaving him fighting for air, because Dave seems to forget that breathing isn't optional.
There's this moment when Dave pulls back, when Puck is just shocked and gasping for air and surprised to find himself totally into that, when he's pretty sure Dave's going to walk away. Except he doesn't, he pushes his hips against Puck's and they're both totally into it so Dave kisses him again and this time, well, this time Puck just goes with it and kisses back. Because at least someone wants him -even if it's not who he'd like. And it's not as if he needs to like Karofsky to do this, not at all, it might work out better for him if he doesn't. There's a thrill, throughout the whole thing, there's a thrill in the back of his neck that spreads down his spine that he didn't know wasn't there before and he's fucking missed it. Karofsky's hands are tight on his hips, and as he tries to turn Puck around to face the lockers, Puck only hesitates for a second, making Dave push just a little harder and Puck turns -it's not that he minds catching, it's not even that he minds that it's Dave, it's more the fact that he's done this already with Finn and mixing up those memories just feels stupid.
But he does. Dave pushes Puck's jeans down and Puck shifts back against Dave's cock and really, why shouldn't he just have this? Except Dave isn't Finn or Kurt, and Dave isn't exactly prepared, so Puck ends up gritting his teeth and trying not to clench as Dave slips on a condom and just pushes in without any prep -it's not rocket science to figure out this is Dave's first go with a guy. It takes a bit, but Dave bottoms out and it's just this flare of discomfort and mild agony that Puck doesn't exactly hate, as Dave grunt something into Puck's shoulder. "You good?" And Puck fucking hates that question now.
"Shut up and go." He's not saying stop, he's not saying no, he's just not. Because Finn is an idiot and Kurt is a little bitch and shit if Puck's putting his life on hold to be an emo little pussy. So Dave fucks him in the locker room, and it's not great, it's dry and hurts and Puck really shouldn't let him, but Dave's fingers are tight on Puck's hip bones and his teeth nip at Puck's neck and his breath is hot on Puck's throat and he still gets off, despite the pain, or maybe because of it. He's not caring. Dave comes with a yell, teeth biting into the curve of Puck's shoulder and Puck follows from just that because it definitely wasn't the fucking.
They end up standing there for a few minutes, Dave pressing his head to Puck's neck and Puck trying to figure out what the hell is going on in his head, leaning against the locker and noting that he totally just jizzed on Anderson's locker again. Dave isn't as tall as Finn, he's not as warm either -because no one is as warm as that walking furnace- and Dave doesn't stroke the lazy, comforting circles on Puck's stomach like Finn always does. Did. Always did.
"Dude," there's a hint of panic in Dave's voice and Puck doesn't have the energy to deal with some freak out -seriously, if Finn and Puck didn't have one why the hell should Karofsky get one?
"Seriously, if you are about to say anything that involves 'don't tell' or 'this never happened' or 'what the fuck' or anything that is some stupid little crisis in your head, fuck off." Puck is not going to listen to someone whine and cry about their sexuality because it's just fucking sex and people need to get the fuck over it. So Dave grabs his clothes from around his ankles and fucks off and Puck takes his time getting himself together because his ass is fucking sore and he just really wants some waffles. It's not going to happen, he has not been conditioned to think after sex comes waffles, because that is Kurt and Finn's thing and there is no thing with Kurt and Finn so he is not getting fucking waffles.
He mopes all the way home, doesn't say a word to anyone and just sprawls on his bed -on his stomach- for the rest of the night. He doesn't even care when Babe climbs onto his back and totally goes to sleep there.
It's awkward the next day. He's trying not to let it show that he's a little stiff, and Dave was an idiot and left marks on Puck's neck so he needs to wear a high collar -which sucks- and he can totally see Dave, beside Santana in those ridiculous red jackets and berets, trying to be subtle about watching Puck. He doesn't care that Rachel is going to bitch at him, Puck skips first and second to sleep in the nurses office and totally makes a point of ignoring everything. He doesn't need this bullshit, he's over it. He doesn't need his life turning into some big production of one failed relationship. So it's done. He's over it. No more.
Why the fuck doesn't this shit work?
Dave actually walks up to him, right after lunch, outside his locker and looks like someone put a knife in his favourite football. Puck just raises an eyebrow in question, because they don't do this whole 'talking' thing -seriously, he does not really talk to Dave at all. It seems to be enough for Karofsky to think they do. "Can we talk?" It's muttered, and low, and apparently it's about the locker room thing yesterday, and frankly if Karofsky thinks he's going to explain to Puck that 'he's not gay' in some empty class room, Puck is going to punch himself in the face. No lie. For the sake of his face, he's sort of relieved that Dave isn't sharing his big-gay denial with Puck. "Look, I know I messed up yesterday." Puck just stares, because they're standing in Mrs Monet's Allegbra class and he's actually talking about that? "I didn't, I mean, there wasn't," Dave scrubs a hand over his face and tries again. "I looked it up, okay, I didn't prep or whatever. I know. And, fuck, Puckerman, I didn't mean to hurt you."
Wow. That is out of this world -not only is Dave not having a big-gay denial fest, but he's actually sat down and looked up the mechanics of gay sex. Puck wonders if that whole 'big gay freak out' thing is just a myth, because three out of three men agree it's just a waste of time or something. Dave just ploughs right on.
"So, I checked and I know it's supposed to take some more work or something and that you probably didn't enjoy yourself and I'm sorry, I just, God, I've never done that before." No shit. Puck just sighs, because he should, technically, get to Spanish -but he's sitting next to Finn and sitting is a little bit awkward right now, so it's not a big deal. "I get it, if you don't want to do it again, but I, I know that I could probably like, make it better if you wanted. You know, so you didn't think that-" He realises now that Dave thinks that was Puck's first time too.
"Dude, I know. It's not a big deal." He's pretty much admitting that he's been fucked before -and it's not a big deal, really, he's not even the least bit bothered by it at all. "It's fine, whatever." Dave just stares at him, and Puck ends up sighing again -seriously, this guy is exhausting, how does Santana do it. "But if you wanna, like, whatever. Fine." Puck's basically offering to be Dave's big-gay experiment, thankfully he is pretty sure that won't end up in feelings or whatever because it's Dave and half the words out of Dave's mouth make Puck want to punch the guy.
"You mean, you'll let me, like," the guy can't even say 'fuck you' and Puck has to roll his eyes.
"Yeah, but not at school, so find somewhere."
"My place? My dads away, it's cool."
"Whatever."
"After school? Today? I mean, if it, you know, doesn't hurt or-" It does hurt, just a touch, like every time he moves, but Puck can't say that he doesn't sort of like it a little -because it's a different hurt from what he's usually feeling, so he just nods.
"Yeah, today's fine." And that is how he ends up being Dave Karofsky's booty call too. Seriously, does he have 'WHORE' printed on the back of his head or something? He can't figure this out. Sure, he's mostly about just sex, but no one even stops to think maybe that's because all people seem to think he's worth is sex. Maybe he's only screwing himself over, but everyone else seems to do it so why the fuck shouldn't he.
And Dave does apparently know somewhat how it works that time -there's lube and prep and Dave's actually trying so Puck just decides that what the fuck ever, whoring around has got him this far, it's worked and he's never been dumped so fine. There are these jolts every time Dave slips his fingers in, nerves that are still a little abused firing off little sparks of pain and Puck hates that he likes it. There's probably too much lube, but it's better maybe, since nothing burns and Dave pushes in to absolutely no resistance this time and they both groan at it. "You're good, right? This is good, fuck, Puck, it's so fucking tight still." He doesn't talk, just grunts and presses back and Dave's fingers find the same places that they were before and Puck gasps at the small pain while bucking into Dave's thrusts. It's better, so much better, than the day before, and Puck can't believe that he actually missed this.
There are five orgasms all told, and Dave says that Puck can spend the night if he wants, because his dad won't be home until tomorrow afternoon, but Puck knows that his Ma will freak the fuck out if he doesn't come home, so he grabs a shower and bails out, even though Dave catches him at the door with a really possessive kiss and it totally almost turns into another blow-job. He still doesn't like Dave, but at least it's something.
If only it would stop him missing Finn and Kurt, that would be great.