GLEE: The Grass is Always Greener
Title: The Grass is Always Greener
Chapter: 10/?
Rating: overall NC-17, this chapter R
Characters: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman, Quinn Fabray, ensemble
Pairing: Quinn/Puck
Warnings: Body swap, teen pregnancy
Spoilers: Blanket Season 2
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
A/N: from the glee_angst_meme, prompt here
Summary: Somehow, Quinn and Puck somehow end up in each others bodies. It's not as fun as it sounds either. The really horrifying thing? Puck ends up pregnant and seeing how the other half lives. This is not how he wanted to spend his senior year.
Secondary Note: Really, really, really confusing pronouns ahead.
There is definitely something about waking up with Quinn that Puck thinks he could get used to. He's not exactly sure what it is, but it feels ridiculously comfortable, even with the alarm bleeping at him. Stretching to flick it off, Quinn makes a noise behind him before pulling her arm tighter around his waist and nuzzling into the back of his neck. It's enough to make him laugh.
He can remember the few times they'd slept together, like honestly sleeping, when she was all hormonal and pregnant. She always snuggled into his chest, even when she was thoroughly pissed off at him. One of Quinn's hands rested just on Puck's pelvis, fingers spread over the warm skin. It wasn't like Puck really needed the motivation or anything, but he really wanted to blow off school and just stay in bed. Especially when Quinn's morning wood shifted against Puck's ass. And he was pretty sure Quinn knew that, the way her hips shifted up as she pulled Puck back.
“Morning.” Quinn ran soft kisses along Puck’s shoulder, hand sliding up his stomach in a caress as she shifted her hips again.
“Feels like a good one too.” The urge to just stay there in bed, to ignore everyone and anything and just stay in bed all day, it was amazingly strong. Probably because Quinn showed no signs of wanting to move either. “We’re supposed to be going to school today.” He totally didn’t care one bit about his attendance, but he had this insane determination to make sure Quinn passed her classes -because she would know that it was him all along and that he was the one doing the studying and the work and putting in the effort. Shit, having a vagina was turning him into a total pussy.
“Sure, but first,” he felt Quinn shift slightly behind him, not exactly sure what she was up to until one of her hands ran over his thigh, lifting his leg as she pressed forward.
“Jesus, Quinn,” Puck’s back arched as she pressed inside, “did you,”
“Condom, yeah. Oh, God, yeah.” Quinn’s arm wraps around his chest, pulling him back against hers, other hand holding to Puck’s leg while she sets a steady rhythm. It’s different from the night before, unhurried and just a little bit tighter thanks to the position, but it’s so, so good and Puck’s near the edge fairly quickly thanks to Quinn’s angle and the teasing flick of her thumb over the peaked nipple of his breast.
Puck comes, clinging to Quinn’s arm, head tilted in to press against her throat and muscles clenching rapidly. There’s a muffled groan and Quinn follows, arm tightening around Puck’s chest as they both caught their breath. “So, that should be the wake up for every morning, ever.” It really doesn’t make him want to get out of bed any sooner though, at least not until Quinn moves, tossing the condom and Puck realises that he’s going to need to change the sheet and take out the trash before Quinn’s mom comes home.
He hates her a little right there.
---
They don’t even pretend like they haven’t spent the night together. Quinn drives them in from the house, Puck knows that he has a hickey -and Quinn totally got his hickey making skills too. It doesn’t feel like any big deal though, in fact it feels far too domesticated and stable; because Puck made breakfast and Quinn washed the sheets and then they drove in together and frankly, walking down the hall, with Quinn’s arm over his shoulder and her hand raised up to twine their fingers, it’s just a little bit ‘real’ and less ‘fake relationship’.
The line is starting to blur for him, he’s not even sure how it started, or if there even was a line. Everyone seemed to point out just how into Quinn he was, just how different she was from the others, but it wasn’t like he’d actually had time to work it all out before they’d gotten to the horizontal part of their relationship (which he liked, a lot, just so you know).
“Well, aren’t we cosy.” Rachel just smiles at them, and Quinn automatically draws her arm back and Puck drops his fingers, because he’s told Quinn about Rachel’s concerns over Finn, and they don’t need to act all ‘honeymoon’ in front of her. “I take it you’ve worked out your differences?” Rachel beams at Puck, then looking to Quinn to give her the thumbs up and Puck actually laughs.
“Come on Rach, let’s get to class. Lunch?” Quinn nods at his question, giving him a quick kiss and answering Rachel’s hand for a high five with a laugh. “Seriously? You don’t need to encourage him.” It’s gotten strangely easy to figure out pronouns, he’s just a little worried about talking about himself in third person when he finally gets his own body back.
“Now Quinn, I understand that we are friends, best friends, but Noah is very dear to me too. I’m very glad you’re both giving the animosity a rest to explore your shared chemistry and attempt to build a more solid relationship.” Rachel still uses far too many words for Puck’s liking.
“Yes, Rachel, Puck and I are looking to tone down the arguments and hopefully build a more stable relationship, but, well, we’re not going to be all, well, coupley. Okay?” For one thing, Puck’s not sure just how well they’d be able to work the whole couple thing with their role reversals, and secondly, neither of them were planning on rubbing any salt in the wound if Rachel wasn’t happy with Finn.
“Oh, do you think he’ll sing to you in glee? Oh, I hope he does. Jamie and Louise need to see just how Noah’s bad-boy presence works on stage, and well, the smouldering looks across the choir room. It’s very busty-novel worthy.” Puck really hopes that Quinn doesn’t sing for him in glee; not because it wouldn’t be kind of awesome, but because he’s not that girlish that he needs to be serenaded in front of their peers. Except it’s totally his thing, isn’t it? And shit, Quinn’s going to need to sing to him if Rachel has anything to do with it.
And Quinn’s good and all; she’s really gotten his guitar playing down, she’s worked out the best songs and the types the work. She’s pretty much following pattern. Which is a bad thing. Because Puck is pretty sure that Louise, one of their new recruits and a Sophomore, has a crush on Quinn-as-Puck. Which is really weird, because it’s partially Quinn’s personality and all his body and just, seriously.
“What’re we talking about?” Santana appears at Puck’s other side, arm lacing through his and a grin on her face.
“We were talking about Puckerman serenading me, now I think we should talk about you and your smug sex face.” Because San is totally wearing her ‘just got laid face’ which Puck knows he was responsible for it a lot. “Is this Avery? Are we official? Is there a Cheerio’s coup in the mix?”
“Shut up.” Puck would’ve never believed that it was possible for Santana to blush, but he’s seen himself blush recently, so apparently, you don’t grow out of that. “Yeah, we’re official, but shut your mouth, okay? We’re not like, walking down the halls holding hands official like you and Puckerman.”
“All my little birds are flying the nest to make their way in the world.” Rachel and her flair.
“Okay, you, Diva, need to get some romance back in your life. Either get Finn to snap it together, or dump his ass. You hear me? I’m out girls, catch you at practice Q, see you at the mall, Diva.” Santana does her usual kiss and wave walking off with her ass swinging in that Cheerio’s skirt and Puck and Rachel just shake their heads as she walks off.
“She has a point.”
“About Finn?”
“Yeah, what’s the point in being together, if it’s not working? You both know you’re going to break up, so why not just break up and enjoy yourself?” Puck didn’t understand it before summer, he doesn’t understand it now. And Finn is like, totally being a douche, even Puck can see it. He stares at one of the girls in glee -‘Elizabeth, but call me Liza’- and hardly even listens to Rachel anymore. “You are worth better.”
“I know, it’s just,” Puck shakes his head as Rach starts to go into this long spiel about how she wants them to try and work through things, so that they have a good sold ground for when she leaves at the end of the school year to pursue her dream in New York.
“Rach, don’t take this the wrong way,” they’re standing outside of Rachel’s dance studio for her ballet class, and Quinn’s supposed to be just down the hall in Home Ec, so they can afford a moment to have a serious conversation (which Puck still doesn’t love, but he’s getting better at it). “But you and Finn just don’t mesh. Okay? He’s Lima, you’re New York, he’s football and pizza, you’re Broadway and vegan cookies. Wouldn’t it be better to head off to New York without a fresh heartache?” Girl talk is pretty easy, you throw in feelings, never mention ice cream or thighs and always go for the rom-com chick flick moment.
“You’re right,” Rachel looks at her feet, probably not happy that Puck -or Quinn in this case- has a point, but she’s starting to accept it. “I’ll talk to him, I promise. I just, I’m just a little scared. Of, you know, turning into that Rachel again.”
“You know,” Puck puts his arm around Rachel’s shoulders, totally easier in Quinn’s body because he doesn’t drown Rachel’s form with his, “that Rachel wasn’t so bad. She was annoying and everything, yes. But she was driven, and focused, and knew how to get glee club to win Nationals. Besides, you have me and San now, and Kurt and Noah, that Rachel is a thing of the past.”
He’s officially used up his chick flick moments by first period, but Rachel at least goes to class with a smile on her face, and Puck gets to make angel cake in Home Ec, so it’s worth it. Maybe a little more so when he gets to lunch and Quinn already has food for him and a seat at the glee table. “Okay, who are you and what’ve you done with my boyfriend?” It’s an easy tease, especially since Mercedes and Kurt laugh while Rachel looks on proudly and Puck wonders if Rachel actually went to Quinn with ‘tips’ or something. It’s the sort of thing she might do.
Even with Louise and Jamie and Liza and Robert -their four pieces of fresh meat- sitting and watching in fascination and awe, Puck completely doesn’t care that Quinn is making him look like a whipped dog.
---
“So, Rachel asked me what song I was going to sing for you in glee.” Quinn presses against his back, hands on Puck’s hips and lips brushing his neck, just at the line of his Cheerio’s top. “She seemed to take it as a given that I was going to sing for you.”
“It’s Rachel, being Rachel. Come on, you know her.” They all knew her by now, and Puck should’ve guessed that Rach would talk to ‘Puck’ about it. “You don’t have to, okay. It’s just something we’ll brush off, because technically, I already sang to you.”
“No, you sang for me, to Beth.” And that stops both of them right there, because they never mention her. Ever. “Sorry.”
“S’okay.” Quinn’s arms wrap around him fully, hugging him back into her chest and he wonders if he’s always been the girl in their relationship, because just one mention of their daughter and he’s a total chick. “Seriously, just drop the singing thing. It’s not a big deal.”
Quinn whispers an ‘okay’ against his hair, pressing a kiss to his temple and pulling back slightly. “I’ll meet up with you after your practice, okay? Drive you home.”
“Do you think, I mean, do you think you should like, God, this is complicated.” Puck looks around to see if anyone is watching them or listening in. “Should I introduce you to your mom? You know, as like ‘this is my boyfriend’ stuff? Or would she freak out about us hooking up again?” He really doesn’t know if it’s a good idea, or if it’s a worse idea to sneak around about the whole thing and stuff. But Puck’s totally gotten used to having Quinn around and with Judy coming home that time might diminish somewhat, unless they can explain it.
“I don’t think so, I mean, you said she was cool with us hanging out, right?” Puck nodded, because Judy had been okay about ‘Puck’ being around and Quinn being friends with him, so maybe she wouldn’t mind too much. “We should, it’ll be better than sneaking around. So, yeah. Yeah let’s do it.”
“Okay, you can come in and wait with me after practice, since she’ll be home sometime before dinner. I can cook and say it was you. That’ll earn you points.” Seriously, the pronoun game was totally going out the window and Puck was just going to lose his damn mind.
“It’s a date.” Quinn gave him another quick kiss (he was totally over these pecks, but it was sort of nice getting caught off guard all the time) before heading off for whatever class Quinn was pretending to pay attention in while Puck pulled himself together for another Advanced French class.
---
Puck makes it half way through French before Kurt starts staring. It’s a little unnerving, because Kurt didn’t stare at lunch and there was nothing different (he made a point not to change how Quinn’s make up looked or anything because he was not trying that shit out) so there was nothing to stare at. It was hard to ignore, try as he might, because every now and then, Kurt would frown, look down at his notebook and then look up again, still frowning.
“Okay, what?” It got too much mid-way through and Puck just hissed out the question with a glare.
“Nothing, it’s nothing.” Kurt blushed at being caught, suddenly becoming engrossed in his notebook, but Puck was not letting it go that easily.
“No, you’ve been staring all class, what is wrong? I don’t have anything in my teeth, I checked, there is nothing wrong with my hair, you’d just have said it, so what?”
“You, well,” Kurt looks sheepish, glancing between Quinn and his notebook again. “You look, you’ve got, there’s just this glow about you.” Okay, could Kurt be any gayer? “You just look so, happy.”
Puck hasn’t been smiling, he’s actually glared at four Cheerio’s today because they mentioned his thighs looking a little under toned and um, no they weren’t okay. He was currently in Quinn Fabray’s body, and trust him when he said her body was fine. Puck knew shit like that. He’d had to deal with Jew-fro being all in his face with that microphone again and then Louise actually asked him if a week after the ‘Quick’ break up was too early to try and console ‘Noah’. Number one, Louise did not get to call him ‘Noah’ and number two, it was a bit early to be considering the ‘Quick’ break up.
There had been a lot of ‘not great’ mixed in with the ‘pretty good’ of the day. But between awesome morning sex, the chat with Rachel and lunch, Puck was losing his mind with the chicks in this school. Hummel didn’t help.
“I’m sorry, I glow?”
“Is Puckerman that good?” Yes, he was, but that wasn’t the point.
“Kurt, can we not have this conversation? I have Cheerio’s after this, and then Puck is meeting my mom and I really don’t need to discuss whether or not Puck and I are, y’know.” Quinn Fabray doesn’t throw the sex word around (Puck has over thirty words f or ‘sex’ in his vocabulary) so he knows better than to just tell Kurt that yes, the sex is awesome, now could he please stop staring?
“Wow, is that a good idea?”
“We’re going to find out. But it’s not like we’re going to be sneaking around. He can’t exactly scale my house to climb in through my window like something out of Rachel’s romance novels.” Puck knows this, because he has seen the side of Quinn’s house and the way to her bedroom and it is never going to happen unless he gets bitten by a radioactive spider or grows wings.
“Introducing the boy who knocked you up, out of wedlock and not even being in a stable relationship with said boy, to your mother, who happens to be Christian and was there when the baby was born.” What is with the blasé way that people can just throw Beth around? It is totally not kosher. “Good luck with that Fabray, you’ll be needing it.”
He’s starting to freak out about this whole thing again. Damn Quinn’s stupid hormonal body.
---
It usually takes a whole lot to get Puck to freak out. Since he’s been in Quinn’s body, for a whole month, he’s had more freak outs and near hyperventilation fits than he’s had in his whole life in his own body. The fact that just thinking about it almost spurns another freak out just doubles how annoying this is.
“You’ve already cleaned that.”
“Quinn, you are not being helpful here. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re body hates me.” He can’t stand the way her brain goes into overdrive and he’s picturing all these horrible scenarios and how he’s considering what could go wrong as the most likely turn of events (it includes a body, a shovel and then a convent) and things just don’t penetrate this foggy haze of sheer panic. Kurt didn’t help any with his foreboding and whatever. Seriously, doom and gloom, what the fuck.
“Okay, listen.” Quinn takes him by the shoulders and sits him down on the sofa, kneeling down between his knees. “You’ve cleaned the kitchen, we’ve got chicken on the stove and the house is spotless. Things are going to be fine.”
“Then why is your body making me panic?” Quinn just smirks that smirk, his smirk, and shakes her head. “I hate that you get to be all calm and level headed and I’m the one being a total headcase. I hate girl hormones, they suck.”
“No you don’t,” Quinn’s voice drops to a husk, her head tipping to brush their noses together and let her breath trail over his lips, “You really like the girl hormones, they give you multiple orgasms.” That is so not the point, but right then, his brain totally shut off to anything that isn’t Quinn’s hand running over his thigh and her lips like right beside his, and that, lo and behold, is when the door opens and Ms Fabray comes in.
“Oh, I’m interrupting something, aren’t I?” Judy stands that the door, while Quinn’s pulls herself to her feel and Puck practically leaps from the sofa, smoothing her Cheerio’s shirt down quickly, even though he can still feel the tingle from Quinn’s hand.
“Hey, mom. You remember Noah, right?” Yeah, this is getting off to a great start. “How was your trip?”
---
Part Eleven
Chapter: 10/?
Rating: overall NC-17, this chapter R
Characters: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman, Quinn Fabray, ensemble
Pairing: Quinn/Puck
Warnings: Body swap, teen pregnancy
Spoilers: Blanket Season 2
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
A/N: from the glee_angst_meme, prompt here
Summary: Somehow, Quinn and Puck somehow end up in each others bodies. It's not as fun as it sounds either. The really horrifying thing? Puck ends up pregnant and seeing how the other half lives. This is not how he wanted to spend his senior year.
Secondary Note: Really, really, really confusing pronouns ahead.
There is definitely something about waking up with Quinn that Puck thinks he could get used to. He's not exactly sure what it is, but it feels ridiculously comfortable, even with the alarm bleeping at him. Stretching to flick it off, Quinn makes a noise behind him before pulling her arm tighter around his waist and nuzzling into the back of his neck. It's enough to make him laugh.
He can remember the few times they'd slept together, like honestly sleeping, when she was all hormonal and pregnant. She always snuggled into his chest, even when she was thoroughly pissed off at him. One of Quinn's hands rested just on Puck's pelvis, fingers spread over the warm skin. It wasn't like Puck really needed the motivation or anything, but he really wanted to blow off school and just stay in bed. Especially when Quinn's morning wood shifted against Puck's ass. And he was pretty sure Quinn knew that, the way her hips shifted up as she pulled Puck back.
“Morning.” Quinn ran soft kisses along Puck’s shoulder, hand sliding up his stomach in a caress as she shifted her hips again.
“Feels like a good one too.” The urge to just stay there in bed, to ignore everyone and anything and just stay in bed all day, it was amazingly strong. Probably because Quinn showed no signs of wanting to move either. “We’re supposed to be going to school today.” He totally didn’t care one bit about his attendance, but he had this insane determination to make sure Quinn passed her classes -because she would know that it was him all along and that he was the one doing the studying and the work and putting in the effort. Shit, having a vagina was turning him into a total pussy.
“Sure, but first,” he felt Quinn shift slightly behind him, not exactly sure what she was up to until one of her hands ran over his thigh, lifting his leg as she pressed forward.
“Jesus, Quinn,” Puck’s back arched as she pressed inside, “did you,”
“Condom, yeah. Oh, God, yeah.” Quinn’s arm wraps around his chest, pulling him back against hers, other hand holding to Puck’s leg while she sets a steady rhythm. It’s different from the night before, unhurried and just a little bit tighter thanks to the position, but it’s so, so good and Puck’s near the edge fairly quickly thanks to Quinn’s angle and the teasing flick of her thumb over the peaked nipple of his breast.
Puck comes, clinging to Quinn’s arm, head tilted in to press against her throat and muscles clenching rapidly. There’s a muffled groan and Quinn follows, arm tightening around Puck’s chest as they both caught their breath. “So, that should be the wake up for every morning, ever.” It really doesn’t make him want to get out of bed any sooner though, at least not until Quinn moves, tossing the condom and Puck realises that he’s going to need to change the sheet and take out the trash before Quinn’s mom comes home.
He hates her a little right there.
---
They don’t even pretend like they haven’t spent the night together. Quinn drives them in from the house, Puck knows that he has a hickey -and Quinn totally got his hickey making skills too. It doesn’t feel like any big deal though, in fact it feels far too domesticated and stable; because Puck made breakfast and Quinn washed the sheets and then they drove in together and frankly, walking down the hall, with Quinn’s arm over his shoulder and her hand raised up to twine their fingers, it’s just a little bit ‘real’ and less ‘fake relationship’.
The line is starting to blur for him, he’s not even sure how it started, or if there even was a line. Everyone seemed to point out just how into Quinn he was, just how different she was from the others, but it wasn’t like he’d actually had time to work it all out before they’d gotten to the horizontal part of their relationship (which he liked, a lot, just so you know).
“Well, aren’t we cosy.” Rachel just smiles at them, and Quinn automatically draws her arm back and Puck drops his fingers, because he’s told Quinn about Rachel’s concerns over Finn, and they don’t need to act all ‘honeymoon’ in front of her. “I take it you’ve worked out your differences?” Rachel beams at Puck, then looking to Quinn to give her the thumbs up and Puck actually laughs.
“Come on Rach, let’s get to class. Lunch?” Quinn nods at his question, giving him a quick kiss and answering Rachel’s hand for a high five with a laugh. “Seriously? You don’t need to encourage him.” It’s gotten strangely easy to figure out pronouns, he’s just a little worried about talking about himself in third person when he finally gets his own body back.
“Now Quinn, I understand that we are friends, best friends, but Noah is very dear to me too. I’m very glad you’re both giving the animosity a rest to explore your shared chemistry and attempt to build a more solid relationship.” Rachel still uses far too many words for Puck’s liking.
“Yes, Rachel, Puck and I are looking to tone down the arguments and hopefully build a more stable relationship, but, well, we’re not going to be all, well, coupley. Okay?” For one thing, Puck’s not sure just how well they’d be able to work the whole couple thing with their role reversals, and secondly, neither of them were planning on rubbing any salt in the wound if Rachel wasn’t happy with Finn.
“Oh, do you think he’ll sing to you in glee? Oh, I hope he does. Jamie and Louise need to see just how Noah’s bad-boy presence works on stage, and well, the smouldering looks across the choir room. It’s very busty-novel worthy.” Puck really hopes that Quinn doesn’t sing for him in glee; not because it wouldn’t be kind of awesome, but because he’s not that girlish that he needs to be serenaded in front of their peers. Except it’s totally his thing, isn’t it? And shit, Quinn’s going to need to sing to him if Rachel has anything to do with it.
And Quinn’s good and all; she’s really gotten his guitar playing down, she’s worked out the best songs and the types the work. She’s pretty much following pattern. Which is a bad thing. Because Puck is pretty sure that Louise, one of their new recruits and a Sophomore, has a crush on Quinn-as-Puck. Which is really weird, because it’s partially Quinn’s personality and all his body and just, seriously.
“What’re we talking about?” Santana appears at Puck’s other side, arm lacing through his and a grin on her face.
“We were talking about Puckerman serenading me, now I think we should talk about you and your smug sex face.” Because San is totally wearing her ‘just got laid face’ which Puck knows he was responsible for it a lot. “Is this Avery? Are we official? Is there a Cheerio’s coup in the mix?”
“Shut up.” Puck would’ve never believed that it was possible for Santana to blush, but he’s seen himself blush recently, so apparently, you don’t grow out of that. “Yeah, we’re official, but shut your mouth, okay? We’re not like, walking down the halls holding hands official like you and Puckerman.”
“All my little birds are flying the nest to make their way in the world.” Rachel and her flair.
“Okay, you, Diva, need to get some romance back in your life. Either get Finn to snap it together, or dump his ass. You hear me? I’m out girls, catch you at practice Q, see you at the mall, Diva.” Santana does her usual kiss and wave walking off with her ass swinging in that Cheerio’s skirt and Puck and Rachel just shake their heads as she walks off.
“She has a point.”
“About Finn?”
“Yeah, what’s the point in being together, if it’s not working? You both know you’re going to break up, so why not just break up and enjoy yourself?” Puck didn’t understand it before summer, he doesn’t understand it now. And Finn is like, totally being a douche, even Puck can see it. He stares at one of the girls in glee -‘Elizabeth, but call me Liza’- and hardly even listens to Rachel anymore. “You are worth better.”
“I know, it’s just,” Puck shakes his head as Rach starts to go into this long spiel about how she wants them to try and work through things, so that they have a good sold ground for when she leaves at the end of the school year to pursue her dream in New York.
“Rach, don’t take this the wrong way,” they’re standing outside of Rachel’s dance studio for her ballet class, and Quinn’s supposed to be just down the hall in Home Ec, so they can afford a moment to have a serious conversation (which Puck still doesn’t love, but he’s getting better at it). “But you and Finn just don’t mesh. Okay? He’s Lima, you’re New York, he’s football and pizza, you’re Broadway and vegan cookies. Wouldn’t it be better to head off to New York without a fresh heartache?” Girl talk is pretty easy, you throw in feelings, never mention ice cream or thighs and always go for the rom-com chick flick moment.
“You’re right,” Rachel looks at her feet, probably not happy that Puck -or Quinn in this case- has a point, but she’s starting to accept it. “I’ll talk to him, I promise. I just, I’m just a little scared. Of, you know, turning into that Rachel again.”
“You know,” Puck puts his arm around Rachel’s shoulders, totally easier in Quinn’s body because he doesn’t drown Rachel’s form with his, “that Rachel wasn’t so bad. She was annoying and everything, yes. But she was driven, and focused, and knew how to get glee club to win Nationals. Besides, you have me and San now, and Kurt and Noah, that Rachel is a thing of the past.”
He’s officially used up his chick flick moments by first period, but Rachel at least goes to class with a smile on her face, and Puck gets to make angel cake in Home Ec, so it’s worth it. Maybe a little more so when he gets to lunch and Quinn already has food for him and a seat at the glee table. “Okay, who are you and what’ve you done with my boyfriend?” It’s an easy tease, especially since Mercedes and Kurt laugh while Rachel looks on proudly and Puck wonders if Rachel actually went to Quinn with ‘tips’ or something. It’s the sort of thing she might do.
Even with Louise and Jamie and Liza and Robert -their four pieces of fresh meat- sitting and watching in fascination and awe, Puck completely doesn’t care that Quinn is making him look like a whipped dog.
---
“So, Rachel asked me what song I was going to sing for you in glee.” Quinn presses against his back, hands on Puck’s hips and lips brushing his neck, just at the line of his Cheerio’s top. “She seemed to take it as a given that I was going to sing for you.”
“It’s Rachel, being Rachel. Come on, you know her.” They all knew her by now, and Puck should’ve guessed that Rach would talk to ‘Puck’ about it. “You don’t have to, okay. It’s just something we’ll brush off, because technically, I already sang to you.”
“No, you sang for me, to Beth.” And that stops both of them right there, because they never mention her. Ever. “Sorry.”
“S’okay.” Quinn’s arms wrap around him fully, hugging him back into her chest and he wonders if he’s always been the girl in their relationship, because just one mention of their daughter and he’s a total chick. “Seriously, just drop the singing thing. It’s not a big deal.”
Quinn whispers an ‘okay’ against his hair, pressing a kiss to his temple and pulling back slightly. “I’ll meet up with you after your practice, okay? Drive you home.”
“Do you think, I mean, do you think you should like, God, this is complicated.” Puck looks around to see if anyone is watching them or listening in. “Should I introduce you to your mom? You know, as like ‘this is my boyfriend’ stuff? Or would she freak out about us hooking up again?” He really doesn’t know if it’s a good idea, or if it’s a worse idea to sneak around about the whole thing and stuff. But Puck’s totally gotten used to having Quinn around and with Judy coming home that time might diminish somewhat, unless they can explain it.
“I don’t think so, I mean, you said she was cool with us hanging out, right?” Puck nodded, because Judy had been okay about ‘Puck’ being around and Quinn being friends with him, so maybe she wouldn’t mind too much. “We should, it’ll be better than sneaking around. So, yeah. Yeah let’s do it.”
“Okay, you can come in and wait with me after practice, since she’ll be home sometime before dinner. I can cook and say it was you. That’ll earn you points.” Seriously, the pronoun game was totally going out the window and Puck was just going to lose his damn mind.
“It’s a date.” Quinn gave him another quick kiss (he was totally over these pecks, but it was sort of nice getting caught off guard all the time) before heading off for whatever class Quinn was pretending to pay attention in while Puck pulled himself together for another Advanced French class.
---
Puck makes it half way through French before Kurt starts staring. It’s a little unnerving, because Kurt didn’t stare at lunch and there was nothing different (he made a point not to change how Quinn’s make up looked or anything because he was not trying that shit out) so there was nothing to stare at. It was hard to ignore, try as he might, because every now and then, Kurt would frown, look down at his notebook and then look up again, still frowning.
“Okay, what?” It got too much mid-way through and Puck just hissed out the question with a glare.
“Nothing, it’s nothing.” Kurt blushed at being caught, suddenly becoming engrossed in his notebook, but Puck was not letting it go that easily.
“No, you’ve been staring all class, what is wrong? I don’t have anything in my teeth, I checked, there is nothing wrong with my hair, you’d just have said it, so what?”
“You, well,” Kurt looks sheepish, glancing between Quinn and his notebook again. “You look, you’ve got, there’s just this glow about you.” Okay, could Kurt be any gayer? “You just look so, happy.”
Puck hasn’t been smiling, he’s actually glared at four Cheerio’s today because they mentioned his thighs looking a little under toned and um, no they weren’t okay. He was currently in Quinn Fabray’s body, and trust him when he said her body was fine. Puck knew shit like that. He’d had to deal with Jew-fro being all in his face with that microphone again and then Louise actually asked him if a week after the ‘Quick’ break up was too early to try and console ‘Noah’. Number one, Louise did not get to call him ‘Noah’ and number two, it was a bit early to be considering the ‘Quick’ break up.
There had been a lot of ‘not great’ mixed in with the ‘pretty good’ of the day. But between awesome morning sex, the chat with Rachel and lunch, Puck was losing his mind with the chicks in this school. Hummel didn’t help.
“I’m sorry, I glow?”
“Is Puckerman that good?” Yes, he was, but that wasn’t the point.
“Kurt, can we not have this conversation? I have Cheerio’s after this, and then Puck is meeting my mom and I really don’t need to discuss whether or not Puck and I are, y’know.” Quinn Fabray doesn’t throw the sex word around (Puck has over thirty words f or ‘sex’ in his vocabulary) so he knows better than to just tell Kurt that yes, the sex is awesome, now could he please stop staring?
“Wow, is that a good idea?”
“We’re going to find out. But it’s not like we’re going to be sneaking around. He can’t exactly scale my house to climb in through my window like something out of Rachel’s romance novels.” Puck knows this, because he has seen the side of Quinn’s house and the way to her bedroom and it is never going to happen unless he gets bitten by a radioactive spider or grows wings.
“Introducing the boy who knocked you up, out of wedlock and not even being in a stable relationship with said boy, to your mother, who happens to be Christian and was there when the baby was born.” What is with the blasé way that people can just throw Beth around? It is totally not kosher. “Good luck with that Fabray, you’ll be needing it.”
He’s starting to freak out about this whole thing again. Damn Quinn’s stupid hormonal body.
---
It usually takes a whole lot to get Puck to freak out. Since he’s been in Quinn’s body, for a whole month, he’s had more freak outs and near hyperventilation fits than he’s had in his whole life in his own body. The fact that just thinking about it almost spurns another freak out just doubles how annoying this is.
“You’ve already cleaned that.”
“Quinn, you are not being helpful here. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re body hates me.” He can’t stand the way her brain goes into overdrive and he’s picturing all these horrible scenarios and how he’s considering what could go wrong as the most likely turn of events (it includes a body, a shovel and then a convent) and things just don’t penetrate this foggy haze of sheer panic. Kurt didn’t help any with his foreboding and whatever. Seriously, doom and gloom, what the fuck.
“Okay, listen.” Quinn takes him by the shoulders and sits him down on the sofa, kneeling down between his knees. “You’ve cleaned the kitchen, we’ve got chicken on the stove and the house is spotless. Things are going to be fine.”
“Then why is your body making me panic?” Quinn just smirks that smirk, his smirk, and shakes her head. “I hate that you get to be all calm and level headed and I’m the one being a total headcase. I hate girl hormones, they suck.”
“No you don’t,” Quinn’s voice drops to a husk, her head tipping to brush their noses together and let her breath trail over his lips, “You really like the girl hormones, they give you multiple orgasms.” That is so not the point, but right then, his brain totally shut off to anything that isn’t Quinn’s hand running over his thigh and her lips like right beside his, and that, lo and behold, is when the door opens and Ms Fabray comes in.
“Oh, I’m interrupting something, aren’t I?” Judy stands that the door, while Quinn’s pulls herself to her feel and Puck practically leaps from the sofa, smoothing her Cheerio’s shirt down quickly, even though he can still feel the tingle from Quinn’s hand.
“Hey, mom. You remember Noah, right?” Yeah, this is getting off to a great start. “How was your trip?”
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Part Eleven