GLEE: Darkest Before the Dawn

[jooseboxx]

Title: Darkest Before the Dawn [part one]
Rating: R
Characters: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman, Sarah Puckerman, Kurt Hummel, Burt Hummel, Carole Hudson-Hummel, Finn Hudson, ensemble
Pairing: Kurt/Puck
Warnings: Fluff, angst
Spoilers: vague season two
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
A/N: from the puckurt fic meme round two, prompt here.
Summary: When Puck's mother walks out half way through his junior year, Noah finds himself responsible for his sister, himself and keeping up the pretence. Things don't always work out that way.



"Sarah, c'mon, we're gonna be late." What Puck hates more than Monday mornings is Wednesday mornings. Wednesday follows Tuesday and on Tuesday's Sarah has her girl scouts and she's always up late getting her homework finished. Which means getting her up on Wednesday morning is hell on earth. She drags her feet, usually falls asleep in the shower so he needs to bang on the door every five minutes until she gets out, she takes forever to get dressed, mulls around the kitchen deciding what breakfast is and then loses her homework between the stairs and the front door.

His little sister is not a morning person.

"Okay, so you remember that Mrs Riley is picking you up, you're going to Jenna's until five then to dance and I will get you after dance class at seven." Sarah nods her head, pushing her books back into her Lizzie McGuire back pack, kicking her feet back and forth against the bench of Puck's truck.

"Mrs Riley always makes me eat broccoli." Sarah likes to change her mind on what vegetables she likes on a week to week basis. It's a pain in the ass, but he's figured it's easier to just go with it than to fight her on it.

"When you are at someone's house and they are feeding you, you do not complain. Besides, it's good for you. It has calcium and helps fight cancer cells." See, he did learn stuff at school. "Okay, be good, and remember,"

"I know, Noah, I'm nine now. I got this." He's a little bit proud of her right there, until she slams the door and flips him the bird as she runs across the playground and into her school. Yeah, he probably shouldn't teach her all his habits.

School isn't exactly riveting, that doesn't change, but he makes himself focus enough to learn shit and keep up his grades, because now he's got shit he needs to take care of that is far more important than just keeping his ass out of juvie and being eligible for after school activities. Not that he's been able to actually concentrate too much on those either.

And Wednesday is glee day, so he's working through a step sequence with Santana when his cell phone goes off. Finn is shocked by the noise enough to miss his step and almost stomp on Rachel's toe, the small diva in question decides this is Puck's fault. "You know the rule, Noah. No cell phones in glee." Puck ignores her as he hops up the risers to pull his phone from his bag and answer the phone.

"Squirt, what's up?" Rachel's still glaring at him and Puck just ignores it, listening to his sister cry down the phone at him. "Okay, chill kiddo, I'm coming okay? Gimme ten minutes. Okay." Puck just grabs his letter jacket and back pack, shaking his head at Rachel. "My little sister is more important than your stupid show choir Berry." He leaves before she can pitch a fit about this.

So Sarah and Jenna got into a fight, which resulted in Sarah getting a skinned knee. It also resulted in Mrs Riley apologising but she couldn't take Sarah while her daughter was upset. Puck understood, he did, but it seriously threw their routine out of whack. "'m sorry, Noe. But she said mean stuff that wasn't true." It is impossible to actually stay mad at her, she does this really annoying but totally adorable thing with her face that means Puck just totally lets it go with a ruffle of her hair.

"Okay, but it means you need to come shopping and not bitch at me."

It's things like that; grocery shopping, paying the rent, paying the bills, budgeting for Sarah's growth spurts and her 'Noah, I broke the strap on my backpack scaling the fence at school' moments. These are all things that Puck knows how to do, stresses over and then punches a wall because it's not shit he's supposed to know how to do. But appearances need to be kept up and he can't let shit slip and it's important that Sarah doesn't look like a homeless little kitten when she goes to school. And they had a routine, and it worked.

Monday's were fairly average, because Puck hated Monday's and things just didn't get done. After school he'd come home, Sarah would walk home and get in just after him, they'd watch stupid shit on television -which was fast approaching a luxury they almost couldn't afford- he'd make dinner, they'd do homework, the end. Tuesday's were awkward, because after school he had football and she had dance, so Puck had to get across town to her school, take her to dance class, get back to McKinley for football and then get back to her dance class to pick her up before getting food, taking her to girl scouts and then going to work for three hours and then picking up Sarah. Homework was done late, Sarah went to bed exhausted and Puck spent the night cleaning and doing the household shit. Wednesdays were glee, so that usually worked for Sarah to go to Mrs Riley's after school who would take her to her other dance class and then Puck would pick her up after getting the weeks shopping done. And while Sarah and Jenna weren't talking, Puck didn't know what he was meant to do because no one could take Sarah after school.

Nana Connie watched her on Thursdays, which gave Puck a nine hour shift after school before he picked up Sarah and took her home. Friday was 'don't do too much' day, Saturday was softball in the morning for her, work for him followed by community service and then Temple with Nana before getting the weekends homework done so that they could just mess around on Sunday.

It had worked for the last three weeks, and it was working pretty well all told. The only person unhappy was Nana Connie and that was more to do with the fact that she wanted to do more but couldn't. But the woman was like eighty or something and Puck couldn't blame her with getting too tired. So they muddled through, paying the bills and keeping up appearances and Puck just sort of gave up sleeping somewhere in there. Which was fine, because the school nurse still took pity on him although only during his free periods now.

By Sunday, Puck's desperate for some shut eye and Sarah's being a total brat. It's her own little way of acting out, and he gets it, because sometimes he just wants to act out, but he can't because he has an eight year old to take care of and she's just pissing him off. "I don't want to go for a bath, it's only nine, I can stay up later."

"No, you can't. It's nine, you have school tomorrow, go for your damn bath and wash the dirt off your cheek and get ready for bed."

"You're not the boss of me. You're just my brother, you're not my dad or my mom, you can't make me." These things should be true, they should be utterly true and Puck shouldn't need to worry when Sarah goes to bed or about getting her up in the morning or if she's done her homework or brushed her teeth or tied her fucking shoelaces right. Those are all things that a parent is meant to do and he is not her parent -he has his little girl out there somewhere, but he's not getting a chance to raise her.

"No, I'm not. But right now I am all you have and I swear to God Sarah, if you don't get upstairs and get in the that bath you will regret it. There will be no dance class, there will be no girl scouts, there will be no soft ball. Just you and your homework for weeks." She screams at him, throws a vase at the wall and stomps up the stairs shouting about how much she hates him and he's an ass and why couldn't she have left too.

Puck waits until she's slammed the bathroom door before he sinks down into the sofa, trying to focus on breathing and dropping his head between his legs. It was bad enough that their dad walked out on them eight years ago, it was bad enough that he walked back in three weeks ago only to turn around and walk out again. But the worst of it was that their Ma went with him. The woman that cursed her husband to the ends of the earth and back, who bitched about him and his deadbeat, loser ways. She just packed up and left with him and didn't even think about her kids. Apparently, they weren't worth a second thought, apparently they were disposable, apparently life was better without the waste of space son and little girl that she had.

Puck's still sitting there when Sarah comes flying down the stairs in her terry-towelling robe and her sopping wet hair to climb up on the sofa and hug his back. "I'm sorry Noah, I didn't mean it. I love you and I don't ever want to go away. I'm so, so, sorry, Noe. Please don't hate me, please, please." Sarah refuses to sleep in her own bed that night so he lets her sleep in his room.

The biggest thing is not letting anyone find out. He's still waiting for the day his mother's work calls to find out where she is, they haven't yet so he's almost convinced she told them she was leaving -maybe they just assumed that she, like any responsible mother, was taking her kids with her. It would probably reduce his stress levels a fraction. Nana Connie's worried about it too, because if someone finds out, Puck's not eighteen yet, they'll both be put in foster care, probably split up and Puck's not sure he can take losing what's left of his family, as annoying as she gets at times.

When Jenna and Sarah don't look to be making up ever, he needs to bite a bullet.

He tried to talk to Mr Schue before the end of class, tried to do it with just him and the teacher so that he didn't need to deal with everyone and their own bullshit. But fate totally hates his guts because he was like Pilate or some shit like that in another life, and he didn't get one chance at all.

"Okay, guys, we've got three weeks until Nationals, we've got to nail this down. Puckerman, come on, let’s get going."

"I'm pulling out of glee." He can't even look at any of them. They still have twelve people, he's not screwing them over in the biggest way, he's just fucking things up a little. "I'm sorry, but I don't have the time." He gives a shrug, genuinely sorry for once in his pathetic life.

"Puck, dude, come on." Finn makes to stand up, and he's not going to let this turn into a 'we can help you' gig, because they can't.

"No, okay. It's not like I haven't done everything else, but shit is shit and I can't make that much time." He just shakes his head and leaves the room, because Sarah will be waiting for him and they need to go shopping before her dance class and he needs to shower before work.

Frankly, things are made harder when he quits glee. Because Finn stops talking to him -he's like Judas all over again, Rachel blanks him in the halls, Lauren pitches this huge big fit in the middle of the halls because he's 'neglecting' her and she can't be with someone who doesn't put her first. So he gets dumped, loses his best friend all over again, is blanked by his friends and Artie politely tells him that he'll be unable to tutor Puck in geometry now, but glee has to stick together. Not that Puck knows what that's like. Three weeks of being ignored and pretty much only having his little sister and his elderly Nana talking to him? Total fucking head trip.

It's three weeks after he's quit glee, seven weeks after his mom and dad collectively walked out on him and Sarah, and Puck is officially freaking the hell out. Sarah's been throwing up for almost three hours, the little squirt has nothing left to give but just keeps heaving this disgusting green bile into the toilet. She's burning up, sobbing and shaking and Puck has no idea what to do. He can't form a thought beyond the fact that his little sister is hurting and he has no idea what to do.

He resorts to the fall back he's almost always had when things go this horrifically wrong. He bundles her up in the duvet from his bed, pulls on a pair of sweat pants and a football jersey and straps her into the truck to drive to the only person he can think of. He doesn't stop to consider that it's five past three in the morning, doesn't consider going to the ER, doesn't stop to think to call ahead. He's standing on the front porch at twenty past three, his little sister cuddled in his arms wrapped up and still shaking and he's practically leaning on the doorbell.

"What the fuck-" Burt Hummel is a scary man, it's just fact. Yeah, he's like the most epic dad on the planet if Finn's gushing is anything to go by, but the dude is scary.

"Is Carole home? Please? I know it's late, and I'm sorry, but I-"

"Noah? What's, is that Sarah? Oh get in, come in." He's pulled inside by a sleepy and concerned Carole and Puck doesn't even stop to acknowledge Kurt and Finn standing on the stairs as Burt tells them to get back to bed. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"I don't know, she's been throwing up, she's shaking, she's fevered. She says her side hurts but I can't see anything wrong. I don't know what to do." Carole takes Sarah from him, lowering her onto the couch and half unwrapping the still shaking girl from the duvet. "Right under her rib cage, she says it hurts whenever something touches it."

"Noah, sweetie, she needs a doctor." He was seriously hoping that wasn't the case, he just rubs his hands over his face, because fuck, this is really going to screw them over in the biggest way, but shit, Sarah's more important right. "Let me get dressed, is your mom working? We can call her on the way."

"Mom's not around." He knows he has to tell her, because they'll ask for her at the hospital to deal with Sarah's paper work. "Dad came back and they just-" he shrugs again. "We don't have insurance, Mrs H." He didn't have health insurance, she didn't have health insurance, they didn't have a phone line, didn't have heat half of the month. It just wasn't working all that well anymore.

"Noah, baby, why-" Sarah whines a little and Carole shakes her head, "We'll discuss this at the hospital."

Sarah's appendix burst. She took a kidney infection at the same time, which was why she was puking apparently, but her appendix burst during the night and he's damn lucky that he got her to the hospital when he did, because any later and she might've died. Holy fucking shit, she could have died.

"Why didn't you say something?" Carole sits with him in the waiting area while Sarah's taken to a recovery room. His head is swimming, because this is going to cost literally hundreds and he doesn't have that kind of cash lying around. He doesn't have that kind of cash period.

"What was there to say? Ma just walked out. She just packed a bag and left. She didn't say shit to us. One day, he comes back after eight years, for one day and that's it? It's like those years just never happened, like we haven't had to drag ourselves through all that debt he left us with, like she never hated him at all." He just doesn't know what's so useless about him that neither of his parents wanted to stick around. It had to be him, right? Because his dad left before Sarah was born, and his Ma had always told him how worthless he was. He never figured she'd do it to Sarah.

"You could have come to me for help, Noah."

"You just got married, Carole. You don't need our shit fucking up your life." Carole never reprimands him for swearing, she just sighs like he should know better or something. "You've got your own family to take care of."

"Noah Puckerman, when have you not been family?" Carole is adamant that she's going to help, although he honestly doesn't see how she possibly can, because by now, the hospital will have alerted child services and they're probably a day away from taking Sarah from him too. They still let him into her room, because she's weeping without him and clutching his duvet and Carole just tells them both to get some sleep. Even cramped on a hospital bed with his little sister clinging to him, he hasn't slept as good since his Ma left them.

Child services don't show up the next day, or the day after that. The following day, Sarah's released from the hospital with medication that Puck can't afford and her very first scar. "Look, it's pretty cool, isn't it." It sort of is, in this scary 'almost lost her' kind of way. He's standing at the front doors of the hospital when he remembers that his truck is still at the Hudson-Hummel home because Carole drove them to the emergency room while he tried to comfort his sobbing sister. "Are we going to have to walk home?"

He's about to tell her yes, but it's okay, because he'll carry her, when Mr Hummel pulls up and Carole steps out. "Oh, you've been discharged already? Well, okay then, come on." There really isn't any arguing with her. "Do you two want breakfast?" Sarah answers an affirmative before Puck can say it's okay, and they have stuff for eating at the house, so Burt drives them to Denny's and Sarah starts telling Carole all about her scar and how she's going to be badass just like Noah. He's quiet the whole way through breakfast, which is okay, because Sarah makes up for it all by talking a million miles a minute, and Burt and Carole just look amused.

"I'm going to the bathroom, okay." Puck gives a nod and watches her cross the diner until she steps through into the girl’s restroom.

"So," it makes sense that Carole would wait for Sarah to excuse herself, "we've been talking, and we don't want you doing this anymore."

"What?"

"Neglecting yourself, pushing yourself, Noah, honey, when was the last time you had a full night’s sleep? Before Sarah was in hospital." He just shrugs, because there's a lot to do, between school, and football and Sarah and all her activities, and the bills and work and food. He just had to give up something and cutting down to a few hours’ sleep was the easiest. "Finn and Kurt said you quit glee." They went to Nationals without him yesterday. He felt like shit, but even if he hadn't quit, it wasn't like he could leave Sarah for the weekend.

"I gotta take care of her. We're all we've got left." Carole just shakes her head and reaches over to take his hand.

"You have us now too."

Apparently, child services were informed that Carole Hudson-Hummel and her husband Burt Hummel were taking over guardianship of Sarah and Noah Puckerman, Puck doesn't know how it works, legally and everything. He's got another nine months before he's eighteen and then he'll be responsible for himself, and he'll probably need to like, take back guardianship or something like that, he really has no idea. Burt paid for Sarah's hospital bill ("I will pay you back, I swear, it'll just take a while." "Don't even think about it kid, I don't want it.") they planned on moving Sarah and Noah into their house and the school were informed of the change in things.

"Kid, where's your stuff?" He's standing with Burt in his bedroom, packing his clothes into a bag.

"What?"

"You have a desk, a bed and a wardrobe in here. I have two teenage boys at home, I know about the mountains of computer games, the musical instruments, the magazines, the DVDS, the television, the gadgets. Where's yours?" Puck sighs, turning back to his bag.

"Sold it." His Xbox went, his laptop, his guitar, his games, his TV, all of it. "Kinda needed the food more." Puck has a bag of clothes and four pair of shoes to his name. Everything else went on sale. Burt just claps a hand on his shoulder, squeezing slightly and it doesn't feel remotely threatening like he's used to from adult males.

"Kid, you did one hell of a job with that little girl. Don't let anyone tell you differently." Burt and Carole move him and Sarah into their spare room. They take the double bed and furniture out, put Sarah's bed against one wall and his against the opposite wall and two bedside tables go in between. There's only space for one wardrobe, but Puck's clothes only take up the drawers down the bottom and Sarah can use the rest. Sarah, because she's a weird kid, seems strangely excited about sharing a room with him.

"Now, you need to go to bed when I do, cause you can't come in later and wake me up." She sounds all smug about it and Puck just ruffles her hair, cause the kid has logic. Kurt and Finn are in New York with the rest of New Directions and Noah constantly wonders how they're doing and what songs they went with and what their costumes were like. He's a fucking pussy, sure, but he'd kind of been excited about Nationals in New York. But it was such a stupid dream to ever really think he'd get out of this place, even for a weekend.

Puck has to call Sarah's school on Monday to explain why she was absent Thursday and Friday, then he needs to get Carole to explain things to Figgins and his probation officer not to mention the drama that'll be stirred up when they learn that Puck's pretty much been taking care of shit on his own for the last seven weeks. Burt's already said he'll look into what they need to do with his mother's house, since his Ma isn't exactly round to tell him about shit like the mortgage or whatever, Noah doesn't have a clue what it will all entail, he'd just been keeping up with the monthly bills and payments so that they didn't get kicked out.

"Noah, how've you been doing this?" His Ma worked the night shift at the hospital five nights a week, it paid better than an average job because it was the night shift. Puck took a small time file keeping job at the only car dealership in town on Saturday mornings and worked a nine hour shift on Thursday for a construction crew just outside Lima. Tuesdays he spent three hours at Print and Press, pressing the t-shirt designs onto shirts and doing posters for clients. Really, they were only just making ends meet. Puck had already sold everything they could possibly sell, including anything his mother left behind.

"Just, stuff." Carole knows why he quit glee, even though he didn't really want to, knows that he's been blowing off football practice and is pretty close to losing his place on the team because Tuesday's are just hell and it's hard to keep the motivation going.

"What're these?" Sarah's holding up a bag of, what look like, curlers. Which is how Noah finds himself on the floor in the family room, with Sarah between his knees, winding her hair into the curlers so that she can go to school on Monday morning with 'pretty curls' and a 'badass scar'. Although the wound hasn't scarred yet, it's just this ugly looking line on her side with stitches holding it together. He thinks that Sarah considers that to be more badass than the scar she'll have. It's where he's sitting, with half of Sarah's hair wound around the little tubes, when the door opens to Finn and Kurt, who halt in the doorway to just stare. Sarah and Noah both turn their heads to stare back as Carole and Burt come out from the kitchen.

"Boys, you're home. How was New York? How was the competition?" Carole just breezes on through, as if everything is totally normal. Sarah loses interest in staring at Finn and Kurt, elbowing Noah's knee to get him to keep going with her hair.

"What is he doing here?" Apparently Finn is still mad at him, and really, Noah can deal with that. He's been dealing with it since Sectionals last year, so it's not like it's anything new to him. "We lost, we came in twelfth." If they want to place the blame on him, when he wasn't there to fuck anything up and they had three fucking weeks of Berry and her crazy to deal with working whatever they did around him, that is fine. When he quit they hadn't even picked their damn songs or written them or whatever.

"Is there a reason why Puckerman is sitting in our home?" Kurt has his ice bitch down, it's not hard to tell that the boy-diva has his arms crossed over his chest and his hip jutted out to the side and his bitch face on. It's all in the tone when you come down to Kurt. Noah had been a little bit worried about this moment right here, because it probably meant explaining things to Finn and Kurt and sort of hoping it didn't get around school -but with Kurt being Mercedes and Rachel's friend well, that was highly unlikely.

"He's living here. Him and his sister. There a problem with that?" Sarah, the awesome little replica that she's turning out to be, makes a soft whistling sound followed by the noise of an explosion while sitting there in front of Noah and he has to fight to contain the chuckle. "This isn't up for discussion, boys. Carole and I made the decision, you two will have to ask Noah about things, but in the meantime, he and Sarah are staying in the guest room." Burt, scary guy that he is, really is the most epic dude on the planet. And Carole is just as awesome. Noah wonders if the house sometimes gets a little overloaded with the sheer level of their awesome or something.

"Alright, done. Say good night to Mr and Mrs H and get your teeth brushed." Sarah's pulls herself up by leaning on his hands as he pushes out his arms, mostly just to stop her from straining her side where it's wrapped with a bandage. Darting around the couch she hugs Carole's waist and tugs Burt to crouch and she wraps her arms around his neck for a hug before throwing the 'good night' over her shoulder and darting into the guest room that's just beside the kitchen. "Teeth!"

"Fine!" It's another five minutes in the bathroom over the sink and then back into the bedroom. "What are you, a dentist?" Yeah, she's far too much like him.

Problem is, with Sarah gone to bed, Noah's left with a glaring Finn and bitchy looking Kurt and fucking hell this is awkward. He sort of preferred it when they were ignoring him if he's honest. But as much of a pussy as he's been this weekend, he's not about to avoid this with the likes of Hudson and Hummel, so he pulls himself off the floor and moves to walk around the couch. Burt gives him a quick pat on the shoulder and Carole pets the back of his head as they both head into the kitchen to let the teenagers talk.

"What the hell was that?" Finn still asks stupid questions. "Has this got to do with Wednesday night?" Technically it was Thursday morning, but Puck just nods.

"Sarah's appendix burst. She had it removed." He shrugged slightly, having practically forgotten that Kurt and Finn saw him come over with Sarah that night.

"Okay, that explains Wednesday. What are you doing here?" In all the years he's known Finn, Puck tended to never let the other boy know just how strained things were for his family. He didn't let anyone know that his mother was hardly ever around, didn't let anyone know that when she was around she was verbally demeaning, other times she was just drunk. It was pretty easy, all things considered, because Finn's a cool guy and all, but he's dense as a fucking brick some times.

"Ma ditched us." This talking bullshit is going to happen once, and only once, and they had better listen. "Dad showed back up almost two months ago. Stuck around for a day and she just took off with him. So, I stepped up. Sarah wasn't going into foster care. So yeah, I pulled out of glee, but she's always going to come first. Even before football. Sarah comes first." Because he's not his Dad and he's not his Ma and he's not turning his back on her like they did. If he has to drop out of school and get a dead end job in this cow town so that she can get anything she wants, he'll fucking do it, because she's his responsibility now and he's going to fucking prove that he can do this shit.

Finn just snorts and walks away, heading up the stairs while Kurt stays where he is, mostly pensive. "How is she? After the appendix."

"She's okay, thanks. She's weirdly happy about the scar." Kurt actually cracks a smile.

"Guess we know she really is your sister." It's not like he expected Finn to suddenly change his mind, for Finn to stop being pissed at him for yet another thing. It takes Finn a while to get over shit like anger, the hurt feelings and all that. So Puck knows that things aren't going to be good overnight or anything. The fact that Kurt isn't being a bitch? That's just a touch surprising.

"How was New York?" Kurt literally lights up, it's kind of weird and Puck just raises an eyebrow at him. "That good?" He sits in the family room, on the couch, listening to Kurt talk and talk and talk about New York and how amazing it was, just standing on a street and eating breakfast, sneaking into a theatre, being in the city and just living it for a day being the most fantastic thing on the planet by the way he talks about it. It kills him a little that he didn't get to go, because he had been totally stoked for it, and yeah, he had considered the glee club to be 'friends' but shit, that went right out the window though, didn't it.

Burt clears his throat some time later and Noah notices the time. It's a quiet 'night' to Kurt and he's heading towards the guest room (he's not calling it 'his', not yet) when Kurt calls out and stops him. "It's too bad you didn't get to come. Maybe we would've placed higher if we had our badass there." It doesn't sound like Kurt's blaming him, it's not the same tone as Finn used, "Glee isn't the same without you." It gives him something to think about, lying in the still strange bedroom with his sister wheezing to his right. Finn barely even listened to him, Kurt practically drew him a picture about the trip. Kurt actually asked after Sarah.

Yeah, Finn would get over it. Puck had done enough shit over the years and Finn always got over it -although that whole Quinn thing was the biggest and the worst, Finn still got over it eventually. Even if they weren't like they had been, they were talking, sometimes. And Finn took the apology at the football game. So they'd started to get back to at least being friends. Until that day and frankly, Puck's a little pissed that Finn would seriously be mad about Puck picking his sister over glee, when Finn choose football over glee last year. And they weren't even winning shit back then.

He spends too much time thinking about it, to the point where when he does fall asleep, he's woken by his alarm just a few minutes later. He lets Sarah sleep for a while, going for his own shower in the downstairs wash room before waking her up half an hour after. They have more time now, because the Hudson-Hummel house is closer to Sarah's school, so they aren't dragging themselves around but she still needs to get all the curlers out of her hair. She's sitting on the floor in the family room again, eating her toast and staring at the news on the television while Burt is over to the left, drinking a mug of coffee and Noah is taking the curlers out of her hair.

"Sarah, honey, I'm making you a packed lunch, do you like apples?"

"Noah always puts in yoghurt too. I like apples and yoghurt and Oreos." She doesn't even look away from the screen, even as Noah clips in her little clasps to hold her hair away from her face. "Thanks Noe!" It's like she wasn't in agony on Thursday morning with a burst appendix and he's more than a little grateful that she can just brush it all off. For the first time ever, she's the one pulling him out the door, just as Finn descends the stairs with a glare on his face. "C'mon, Noah, you gotta come in and talk to Mrs Grady, cause she had a test on Friday and you gotta make her let me sit it today so I don't fall behind."

He doesn't get to say anything to Finn (although Sarah convinces Mrs Grady to let her sit the test during recess by flashing her bandaged side and pouting), he doesn't even see Kurt, since he arrives late to school which means he gets his own glare from Schue when he walks into Spanish (is it professional for a teacher to glare at a student all because of show choir? Puck doesn't think it is). But he sits through the rest of class, answers the questions that he's asked -because Schue seems to ask him for answers even when he's not raising his hand, and just getting on with it. Finn doesn't even look at him. Realistically, it makes sense that things wouldn't change. It doesn't exactly matter why he quit, all they see is that he did quit. Glee might be a family, but that's only when you're part of glee.

It's not until after lunch that Berry appears beside his locker, looking at him with this really unnerving expression. "You know, when Ruth stopped attending Temple on Saturday nights with you and your sister and Nana, I probably should've noticed that something was wrong." He totally called Hummel not keeping his mouth shut. "What I don't understand is why you never said anything." He can't actually figure out what honestly makes her think he'd share this, why she seriously believes that he'd turn around and start talking about his shit all of a sudden. He never talked about it when his dad first walked out, never talked about his Ma, never talked about giving up Beth, never opened up about juvie. So why would that all suddenly change?

"Seriously?" But Rachel is honest to God serious, she wants to know why he never did the sharing is caring shit with all the little glee kids. "Why the hell would I tell any of you?" Even when he was tight with Finn, he still would've kept it to himself. He's just not the type to share his issues, whatever they are. "What difference would it have made? None, she'd still have walked out and we'd still be pulling it together."

He's not entirely sure, but if Sarah hadn't taken the infection and her appendix hadn't rebelled against them, he's not sure how long he could've gone on without telling anyone. If he had his way, until he was eighteen at least. Then he'd drop out of school, get a full time job and take care of Sarah. He wouldn't walk out on her when things got tough, or make her think any of his mistakes were her fault, she'd get a fucking chance to grow up and move on and not have to deal with this stupid dead end town. He gets that Carole and Burt want to help, the fact that they picked up the bill for Sarah's hospital treatment is more than Puck could've asked for, but they have Finn and Kurt and while Kurt seems to have accepted that Sarah and Noah need somewhere that isn't their mom's debt ridden house to live, Finn hasn't. Puck doesn't expect to be at the Hudson-Hummel house too long, since even he wouldn't force Finn to live with that.

"We're your friends, Noah."

"Yeah? You did a really good job of showing that for the last three weeks." He really can't deal with Berry and her hypocrite dress right then. They go on about being 'friends' and 'family', but Berry spilled the beans about Quinn's baby just to get Finn, knowing that it would screw up the dynamics, then she lied about dating Jesse, then there was the Sam thing with Kurt that caused tension, then there was Quinn and Finn running around behind Sam's back and Santana's scheming. If they were friends then God help their enemies, and glee had to be the most dysfunctional family known to man.

Kurt catches him before the end of the school day, "Hey, um, my car is getting its service done, would you drive me home?" Puck is suitably shocked at Kurt talking to him at school -because Mercedes and Tina are still in the car park and Puck is still scum or something- that he just nods and Kurt climbs up into the passenger side of his truck. He's half way to Sarah's school before he remembers that Kurt is there.

"I need to pick up Sarah first." Kurt just nods, as if he expected it and carries on nodding his head to whatever song in playing on the radio -he's such a pussy that his little sister reprogramed his station since he was always driving her around and she needed to know more than old rock and roll bands and songs, because she was a kid, Noah, and she needed to know things like Beyoncé and Shakira and Avril fucking Lavinge.

"You're in my seat." Sarah stands on the sidewalk, the door open as she stares at Kurt, who is actually sitting in her seat.

"Stop being a brat, Sarah."

"You have to move up." She doesn't give Kurt the option of climbing out and swapping, she just tosses her backpack to the cab floor under the bench and starts climbing in. Kurt has no choice but to shuffle up and sit in the middle. "I passed my test, Mrs Grady said I did really good. No one believed me when I told them about my scar so I had to take my bandage off to show them. It's in my backpack."

"Sarah, the point of the bandage is to keep from getting an infection. Show and tell is not a reason to take it the fuck off." Yeah, he saw a lot of him in her, but God, could she not give him an ulcer before he's twenty? "You can ditch that bandage, but when we get to Carole and Burt's house, into the kitchen for a fresh one, and don't take it off unless you're going for a shower."

"You're so boring."

"And you're such a brat, but I'm bigger than you and you'll need to deal." Noah can see Kurt sitting there, head swinging back and forth like he's watching a tennis game. "You might have to sit out of dance this week kiddo, if you pop those stitches it'll make the vomit fest last week look like a fair ground ride."

"But Noah,"

"Your brother's right, Sarah. If your stitches pop it can cause infection. If that happens you might be stuck in bed for weeks." Sarah hates being sick, cause she's weird and likes going to school. So Kurt's comment makes her shut up for a minute and think about things. Which is good, because usually she'd just argue with Puck until they get in a mood with each other then she'd go do what she wanted until he was proved right and she'd end up with burst stitches and he'd be dealing with a pouting, sore brat.

"Okay, so if I promise to just watch, can I still go? Cause I don't want to miss a new step or something."

"Yeah, you can still go. But no rough housing at Scouts, okay?" So they reach a deal and Noah gives Kurt a nod of thanks.

"I would say it feels wrong, bartering with a child, but she sort of makes it necessary, doesn't she?" Kurt asks, just as Sarah skips into the house and through to the back room to put her school bag away and saying hello to Carole on the way. Finn is sitting in the family room, frowning.

"Why're you in so late?" Puck knows that Finn isn't talking to him, from the fact that Finn is treating Puck like he's invisible or something, Puck gets the message.

"Dad has my car in the garage for its service," as Kurt starts to explain, Noah slips by to see Carole in the kitchen and offers help with whatever she's doing. "I asked Noah for a lift." Puck doesn't miss the way Kurt's started using his name rather than nickname. It's not like he really minds, he stopped caring about that when he started worrying about things like affording water for the month.

"You didn't have to, I would've driven you home."

"I know that Finn, but I asked Noah." Noah stands at the sink, well within earshot of Finn and Kurt's conversation in the family room, while still listening to his sister in what is currently 'their' room, singing along with Miley Cyrus like she always does when she's doing her maths homework, peeling potatoes for Carole while she does whatever with a casserole.

"I'm just saying, you don't need to talk to him, okay? Just ask me and I'll drive you home." Sometimes, Puck wonders why the hell he actually tries to repair his friendship with Finn all the time. Sure he's the one that usually does the stupid shit to muff things up, but things like this? Finn's obliviousness to everything bar himself? Totally sucked ass. Carole just gave his shoulders a squeeze, like she knew her son was being a total douche but not wanting to get in the middle of the boys -he couldn't blame her, because they did this fairly regularly anyway.

"I don't need to do anything, I asked Noah because I wanted to, Finn. Did it ever occur to that not everyone holds a grudge like you?"

"We lost Nationals because of him."

"We lost Nationals because we wrote our songs and choreographed everything the night before our performance." They did what? Seriously? How was Rachel not throwing a fit all week before Nationals? She was near psychotic about preparation for Sectionals and Regionals, Noah couldn't imagine Rachel not being off the wall nuts about Nationals. "And let’s not start on you and Rachel making kissy faces on stage." They what? He shares a bit of a surprised look with Carole, apparently she didn't know her son was seeing Rachel again either. "So just stop blaming Noah for something he had no control over."

It's kind of nice having someone stick up for him. He never would've thought it'd be Hummel doing it, but still. Out of anyone he would've thought Santana. People often misjudged their relationship as nothing more than meaningless sex between other partners, but it was a little more complicated than that. Santana would be the only one he'd have figured to back him up eventually because that was just what they did; once she got through the annoyance at him, she'd be in his corner and have his back over all the glee bullshit. But Kurt defending him or sticking up for him or whatever, with Finn? Yeah, he never really saw that coming at all.

Sarah comes out of their room after screeching the end of 'Party in the USA' much to Carole's amusement, she sets the table while telling Noah and Carole all about the test she had and why it was super easy and she's going to be top of the class this year -because when you're top of the class you get to pick what one of the animals your group in class take care of, and Sarah is determined that she will be top of the class in August and she'll be picking the animal and damnit that bunny rabbit is as good as hers. Twenty minutes later and Burt walks in the door just as the casserole comes out of the oven and really, Carole's got this down to a fine art or something, hasn't she.

"Noah," it feels a little weird, sitting at family dinner with the Hudmels, but Carole insisted and Burt just nodded. Sarah is on Puck's right, doing some weird stage whisper that is very bad since no one is actually talking so she is heard perfectly. He still leans over so she can share whatever it is she wants to share, "This is better than yours, so don't be upset okay. I still love you, but Carole should cook and not you." Carole smiles tightly at Sarah, hiding a blush behind a sip of water.

"Okay, I guess I can live with that."

"It's just, you always burn the bottom of it." Which is true, but seriously, the book totally says to put it in for forty-five minutes, and how the hell is he meant to see the bottom of the dish when there's sauce all around it? It's the books fault, the book lies.

"In my defence, Carole has done this longer than me."

"Well, you can practice when I'm not home for dinner." The others are eating quietly, pretending they can't hear the conversation for Sarah's sake, since she seems to think it's some private thing.

"Where are you going that you won't be home for dinner?"

"I'm getting a job, Noah."

"You are, are you?"

"Yes, I've decided that it's not fair to make you be our bread winner, because I don't always want bread. I like it, but it's not my favourite." She spears a carrot to nibble while Noah watches her and wonders where the hell she's been that she's decided this. Burt's averted look and Carole's sheepish expression gives him a clue that maybe they've been talking and not realised that Sarah is around. "So, I'm going to start my career early and we'll have more money and get more than just bread, okay? I'll treat you to waffles."

"That's really thoughtful of you, but I have to ask, what kind of job are you planning on getting?" Kurt and Finn are now trying to be covert in listening in and frankly, Noah's more focused on Sarah and her wild ideas.

"Well, I was thinking that I'd be a doctor, because they get lots of money."

"You need college for that. It'll be a while. The bread might go stale."

"What about a vet? A lawyer? An accountant. Jonah Rosenberg has an accountant father and he's like always got cookies with his lunch. Sometimes, he shares them with me if I ask him nice." Jonah Rosenberg also has a huge crush on Sarah that only a nine year old can really have.

"Yeah, college for all of those kiddo. Tell you what, why don't I keep earning the dough, you go to college and then we'll get waffles?"

"Well, what job can I get now?"

"You can work seasonal stuff."

"What's that mean?"

"You work in December as an elf for Santa."

"Ew, I'm not working for that old perv. You're just going to have to wait for your waffles." Sarah closes the conversation by jamming her fork into a piece of lamb and spraying the sauce from the dish over herself, Puck and the table. "Oops." But at least it gets Carole and Burt talking to Kurt and Finn about school and Puck can just quietly poke Sarah until she eats all her vegetables.

"Mr Hummel, can I please watch The Avengers on the television?" Burt gives her a nod and pats her head while Noah clears the table. "Thank you for dinner Mrs Hummel, it was super yummy." She actually cleared her plate.

"You know," Carole lingers in the kitchen with him, "I don't remember her being so polite."

"Yeah, I dunno where she gets it from." He wasn't overly polite as a child either, mostly because he didn't know Finn until he was five and by that time neither his mother or his father had really taught him manners. They were too busy working or arguing or yelling at him to instil any of that in him. He learned stuff like 'please' and 'thank you' and not sticking out his tongue from Mrs H after he met Finn. The last couple of years, while his Ma had been working more and drinking more and ignoring them more, well, he tried to keep Sarah from being another punk brat like him.

"I know," Carole puts a hand on his elbow, giving a small squeeze in support. "You're doing really well, Noah. She adores you, you are trying so very hard and I can see it. She's doing so well and it's down to you. But you don't have to do it on your own, okay? We want to help." Noah nods although he's not sure if he'll be able to depend on that. Because what if he does start to rely on the Hudmels? What if he lets himself get complacent with Sarah and then she resents him and then they kick him out like the inevitably will and he's trying to work forward from even further back. No, he can't let that happen. It's a forge forward job this parenting thing so he'll just keep going and be grateful to Carole and Burt for as long as they put up with him.

Him and Sarah just carry on with things; Tuesday is met with the usual rushing around even with Sarah not participating with dance, Puck is late back to practice thanks to having to explain to Sarah's dance teacher about the surgery last week and what happened and how it affects Sarah. She's mostly understanding and Puck has to rush back to at least have a point in being at practice -Beiste isn't impressed at all. Finn just carries on glaring at him. They drag themselves into the Hudmel home late that night and Sarah goes straight to the kitchen to find left over dinner waiting. She's practically starving so Noah gives her half of his as well before she goes to do her homework and he cleans up the mess.

"Where've you two been?" Burt doesn't make it sound like an accusation, it's just a question.

"Sarah was at girl scouts, I had work." He gives a shrug, because it's not the best job, but it's a partial wage, if he could work more hours at Print and Press he would. "Oh, Sarah usually goes to our Nana's on Thursday, so she won't need fed and I'll be working so, we won't need dinner or anything." Burt watches him clean up the dishes, sipping on a beer and just standing there. "I um, I'll be kind of late coming in." It was usually midnight that snuck Sarah out of Nana Connie's nursing home and drove home with her already sleeping. But half three through to half eleven putting up dry wall and installing windows was better than nothing since that was what mostly paid their bills.

"Kid, where do you work?"

"When?" Because there are the three different jobs. Burt just raises an eyebrow. "Tuesday's it's Print and Press, Thursday's it's with Porter Construction and Saturday is down at the dealership in the filing." Every now and then, if Sarah had a friend she could stay with, he'd pick something up with the construction crew on Friday or Monday, but most of the time he was a little limited. He sort of owes Mr Porter a huge favour since the guy didn't complain at all when Puck called to tell him that his little sister was in hospital and that he'd miss work last week.

"Damn kid, you're gonna end up working yourself into an early grave." Puck can't answer back because Sarah comes in, tired and sullen and stuck on a homework question. So Noah helps her out then gets her bundled up for bed and looks over her homework before starting on his own. He's collapsing in his own bed an hour and a half later, dreading the next morning and getting Sarah to move.

Wednesday is as difficult as always, having to practically push Sarah into her shower and routinely go back to get her moving, Noah gets her lunch packed and her back pack sorted for her. She's still a little asleep when Noah sits her on the kitchen table, her shirt pulled up so he can wrap the bandage around her side to keep the gauze over her wound clean. "Noah, I don't wanna go to dance today."

"Why not?"

"Cause my side hurts too much. Can we just come home?" It's not like Noah has glee or anything anyway. So he just nods and tells her he'll pick her up after school. They get all the way through the week, with soft ball for Sarah and Noah flitting between work and community service on Saturday before meeting Nana for Temple. When Sunday hits and the Hudmel clan go off to do something together, Noah and Sarah end up sprawled along one of the sofas in their PJ's, watching Two and a Half Men reruns from before Charlie Sheen got crazy. Noah doesn't really know when it happens, but he and Sarah end up falling asleep; him stretched out with her in front of him, both of them using his arm for a pillow. He starts to wake up when the front door closes.

"Shh, let them sleep."

"But mom, they're taking up a whole sofa."

"Finn, don't start."

"Mom."

"Shut up, they're sleeping. Jeez, not everyone gets a full night sleep every night like you. In case you didn't notice Noah's been run ragged this week."

"What?"

He's half coherent, can half tell that Finn and Kurt are over by the bottom of the stairs and hear the quiet murmur of Carole and Burt in the kitchen. He does sort of want to get up, but he's comfortable, and drained, and Sarah is resting on him anyway so he doesn't want to wake her.

"Are you that blind? Have you not noticed how often he's running around after Sarah? He cleans up after dinner when we never do. He works until midnight on Thursday, he drives all over town every day. You seriously don't notice?"

"I've, no. I sort of just,"

"Ignore him. Yeah. Probably not helping either Finn." Kurt shuffles up the stairs, almost quietly and Noah can hear Finn standing around, moving from foot to foot before sighing and heading up the stairs himself. It makes him stop and wonder a little, with Kurt. Just how much Kurt sees or just how closely Kurt is watching. And if Kurt's seen it, so has Carole. Tomorrow will mark nine weeks since he's seen or heard from his mother, since he's been solely responsible for his nine year old sister, since he's been slowly but surely falling the fuck apart. He ends up falling asleep again and doesn't wake up until Burt lifts Sarah out of his arms and he's startled by how sudden it is.

"It's okay, Burt's just putting her to bed." He sits up, running a hand through his mohawk and popping the tension out of his back with a yawn. He shouldn't really be tired, but he's just so exhausted that he is. Carole sits down beside him, placing a mug of tea in his hands as she does and Noah doesn't refuse it.

"Burt and I have been talking, we're concerned about you, sweetie." Even when Carole calls him that, or honey, he doesn't exactly feel babied. It's weird. His mother never used those kind of names, nothing but their names or something a little more derogatory. But Carole throws them around, with feeling behind them too. It's not like she just calls everyone 'sweetie' it's just that she means it. "All this running around, all this working. It's not good for you Noah." Burt comes back in, sitting on the edge of the seat across from him and Carole.

"There's a place at the garage, if you want it. Nothing heavy, just a few shifts a week, working on the weekend, that kind of thing. It'll be the same as any other employee. And you'll be able to come in at a decent time." It would mean not driving all the way from Ada every Thursday night, save him some money on gas. It would be a big help all things considered.

"And on Tuesday's, I'll take Sarah to her dance class, you don't have to miss out of football practice." Noah frowns at Carole, because he didn't realise she was on to him there. "Finn told me. He said you've got weird habits, leaving school just to come back ten minutes later. Sarah talks rather feverently about her dancing." She freaking loves it. He sold his Xbox and his guitar just so that she could keep her place for the year. She's determined to be the next Brittany Pierce, which is kind of okay with him so long as she keeps her brains about her.

"We want to help, kid. This isn't just another place where you can run yourself into the dirt. We're trying to help you deal with this." He stares at his tea for a while, letting it sink in. Carole has always been this amazing woman, she's put up with a lot of stuff, from Finn, from him, from both of them being idiots. And Burt is pretty much the most epic guy to ever walk the planet or something. Seriously, how the house still stands around their awesome is still a mystery to Noah (even Kurt is a little awesome but Noah's nowhere near admitting that out loud).

"Yeah," he nods his head, sighing a little, "thanks. I'm just, I'm kinda used to just doing it myself now, you know?"

"I sort of guessed that when the groceries just appeared on Wednesday." Carole runs her hand down the back of his 'hawk, "And you don't need to do that, okay?"

"No, I mean, Sarah eats like a lot, and you're already putting us up. I'll help out." He doesn't want to feel like a burden, or like he's taking charity, because it doesn't sit right with him. It's not an ego thing or a pride thing, it just never really feels right. "Besides, working at Mr H's place means less money on gas, so it's just food, okay." He refuses to not put something in when they're both giving him and Sarah so much.

He honestly isn't surprised at how much Sarah loves staying with the Hudmel's. He's not even surprised when it turns out to be pretty easy going either. Burt starts teaching him about cars, he ends up showing Carole some kosher recipes that Kurt happens to approve of for Burt's heart condition and health, Kurt starts teaching Sarah about make-up and fashion and stuff. Noah's surprised when she actually goes to school in a dress one day. "What're you turning my sister into?"

"A fashion conscious nine year old."

"Could you stop? I like my mini-badass the way she is." But she's still this mini-badass in a dress, because she comes home that day with her chucks all muddy, one sock around her ankle and the other up her knee and her dress with a big round muddy print on it.

"Alex Wilson sucks at soccer."

It takes Finn a further two weeks to get his head around everything. Noah's sitting in what he's starting to really consider his room -shared with Sarah, working on his essay for English, because school finishes up in a week and a half, when Finn knocks hesitantly to come in. Noah just looks up from the desk, pen falling from his grip as he turns in the chair to watch Finn stand by the door, shifting from foot to foot. Puck thinks that raising his eyebrows in question is enough to prompt Finn to go on, but it doesn't seem to be, since he scratches the back of his head, opens his mouth and then shuts it again and Noah just sighs before turning back to his paper.

Normally, he'd give Finn a pass. Whenever this shit came up in the past he'd just give Finn a pat on the back and tell him it was no big deal. But their junior year ends next week and Finn barely even acknowledges Puck's presence in the halls. For six weeks, nothing. So it's a bit of a big deal because Finn wasn't even this bad when Puck knocked up Quinn. Noah just goes back to writing and Finn still stands there.

"Okay, you're getting on my nerves, what?" He doesn't turn around, just sits there waiting for Finn to finally work up the steam to say his piece.

"I'm kind of annoyed at you." Puck actually snorts on a laugh, because no shit. "You just left glee and I didn't know why and everyone was asking me what it was you were doing and I had no clue. You never tell me stuff anymore." Is it really that big a surprise? "And this was huge, I mean, your mom. It's like, huge and you never came to me or anything."

"Dude, you can't keep your mouth shut. I came to you, you'd tell Rachel or Quinn, they'd tell everyone else, Schue would expect me to go talk to Miss P, Sarah'd be in some foster home somewhere and I'd be drinking myself stupid just like them. So yeah, I kept it quiet because I wanted to keep my shit as mine." He didn't need the entire school knowing about this bullshit.

"I wouldn't tell them that. That's like, bro stuff."

"Finn, how did Quinn find out about Mrs Campbell?" Puck had known Finn long enough to know that he forgot stuff pretty easy. It wasn't that he didn't listen or didn't care, it was just that he had a really shit memory and his attention span was almost as short as Britt's. So playing 'clue by four' was sometimes the only way to get the point across. That and being really fucking blunt.

"Um, wasn't she the first married woman you slept with?"

"Yup, first cougar, just after we started Freshman year. How'd Quinn find out about me banging her after cleaning her pool?" Mrs Campbell was one of those bored and lonely trophy wives that sat around her big house all day while her husband was out at his law firm or accountants firm or whatever. He'd been cleaning pools since he was thirteen, and two months after he turned fifteen Mrs Campbell became his first 'pool client'. Naturally he'd told Finn, during one of their PlayStation gaming sessions.

"Um, I told her?" Puck just nodded, because by the Monday following the Thursday he told Finn, everyone knew that Puck was banging cougars, Jack Campbell had given Puck a black eye and Quinn was trying to get Finn to stop hanging around Puck -Quinn got over that when Puck made a deal with Santana that meant every cheerleader was hitting on Finn because Puck wasn't around. "Oh."

"Yeah. You hook up with chicks that are firm believers in 'sharing everything makes our relationship work' which basically translates to them being nosy little bitches."

"Hey, it's not like that."

"Really, so you telling them what you're thinking makes the relationship better?" Puck knew it didn't, because any time Lauren had asked him that and he had answered she got in a huff because his answer wasn't the right one or something. Puck knew Quinn was worse, because there were answers she wanted to hear and anything other than that was wrong. "Why the hell should they care what the fuck we talk about? Or what you did after school?" What Puck hated was the double standards the girls preached. They wanted to know everything; there were no secrets, share your feelings, listen to them talk, give them all the compliments they needed. But if you asked just once 'what was that about' when they stand giggling with their girlfriends, you're being possessive and over bearing and they need space.

Seriously, this was why he didn't do relationships.

"Well, I won't. I mean, I won't tell Quinn. We're sort of not talking just now, because I broke up with her, but I promise not to tell Rachel either. I'm sort of seeing her again, but just until next summer. She says our relationship has to have the expiration date." Puck knew for a fact that he was staring, mouth half open, because -well, what?

"You broke up with Quinn?" Finn nodded. "And hooked up with Rach again?" He nodded again. "But you both know you're going to break up again?" Puck had found out that Finn had kissed Rachel at Nationals, but that was all. He didn't know they'd hooked up again.

"Yeah, you kind of missed a lot."

"Whose fault was that?" It was the sheepish duck of his head and the way he ran a hand over the back of his neck with the quiet 'Yeah', Puck didn't care enough to draw it out to make Finn feel bad or whatever. So they sat in the room, catching up on everything that happened in glee and what the hell was going on with Finn's relationships.

---
Part Two