GLEE: The Grass is Always Greener
Title: The Grass is Always Greener
Chapter: 11/?
Rating: overall NC-17, this chapter R
Characters: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman, Quinn Fabray, ensemble
Pairing: Quinn/Puck
Warnings: Body swap, teen pregnancy
Spoilers: Blanket Season 2
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
A/N: from the glee_angst_meme, prompt here
Summary: Somehow, Quinn and Puck somehow end up in each others bodies. It's not as fun as it sounds either. The really horrifying thing? Puck ends up pregnant and seeing how the other half lives. This is not how he wanted to spend his senior year.
Secondary Note: Really, really, really confusing pronouns ahead.
Judy is definitely a little uncomfortable standing at the door, her suitcase just to her side and Puck and Quinn standing in the family room, just a little guilty looking. Quinn jumps on the ball by stretching over to offer a hand shake, smiling tightly and a ‘Ms Fabray’ greeting with a nod before picking up Judy’s suitcase to place it further inside the house.
“Quinn, what’s that smell?” Quinn rolls her eyes, behind Judy and Puck knows that Ms Fabray has had to ask that question a million times before, mostly because Quinn’s managed to burn toast to within an inch of incineration again.
“Noah made dinner.” He’s probably laying it on a little thick, but he did just have Quinn’s hand under his skirt, so it’s likely that buttering up Ms Fabray might be necessary. “We figured maybe you’d want a home cooked meal?” The beauty of it is, Puck’s already gotten everything organised so that Quinn just needs to plate things up. She can at least work the presentation aspect of the food serving.
So they end up in the kitchen, sitting around the island counter, Judy talking at length about the retreat she went on and why the other women didn’t have it nearly as good as she did, and Quinn gets this pinched look when Judy mentions the tanning boy.
“Mom, could you not talk about that?” Puck knows that Judy has been dating. Puck has told Quinn that Judy has been dating. Quinn didn’t take it too badly and since her dad has a mistress, a whore and a girlfriend, well, Ms Fabray shouldn’t be denied a little hanky panky in Puck’s opinion. But Quinn, she just doesn’t want to know.
“Okay, how about we talk about you two?” Okay, that was really just falling on the sword that time. “Have you been ‘hanging out’ long?” Judy does the air quotes around the hanging out and there’s a blush starting to show on Quinn’s cheeks and Puck has to jump in before Quinn actually embarrasses him.
“Noah’s trying to teach me how to cook. It’s a work in progress. But um,” it would be really helpful if Quinn could just jump in with assistance at any time. It’s not like he’s ever had to sit his mother down to introduce her to any of his girlfriends (the only time that happened was when his Ma met Quinn and she was pregnant and homeless and that was a whole other ball game) so it’s not like he knows what the hell he’s doing. “We’re dating.” Probably best to just get it out there, like ripping off a band aid.
“And how long has that been going on?”
“Um, since Saturday?” That was their date, right? So that’s when they started dating. “We went out for dinner, and played some games and had some ice cream. Then Noah went home to babysit his sister.” It feels important to point out that after their date Noah went home. Judy looks between Puck and Quinn, her eyebrow raised in a manner that Puck’s seen numerous times on Quinn’s face -he’s even managed to pull it off himself a few times.
“Well, I’m glad you’re being honest with me, and I hope that you both understand my position when I ask that you are both careful.” The way she says it, Puck knows exactly what she’s talking about, and maybe there’s no point in denying anything or something, but Puck just finds himself nodding while Quinn does the same. “Dinner was lovely, Noah, thank you very much, but I’m a little tired from the flight.” Ms Fabray gives Puck a kiss on the cheek as she heads upstairs, promising that they’ll talk about her trip later and Quinn gives her a small wave.
“Did that go well? I feel like it went well. I can’t tell for sure though.” Quinn laughs slightly as she starts clearing up, putting the dishes in the dishwasher and the pots in the sink and Puck just watches. “You know she totally boned the tanning boy, right?”
“Puck, don’t even go there.” He just laughs, because it’s such a reversal from who they are -she’s him, and he’s supposed to be vulgar and rude and make all the innuendoes, while he’s her, and she’s uptight and controlled and just a little frigid. Except she’s totally not when she’s in his body. She sort of demonstrated that for him, didn’t she. He’s still trying to work out where the second nature actions came from, how she just sort of embraced it all -she’d been a blushing virgin their first time, and he knew that Finn never got past first base, nor did Sam, so he’s just a little curious as to where this Quinn came from or if it was just because she was in his body that she managed to just let it go.
He’s still wondering, after she’s cleared up the kitchen, and he’s just sitting there, thinking these things through when Quinn presses against his back, her hands on his hips as she places kisses against his neck. Serious thought goes straight out the window as her hands run up her sides, slipping under the Cheerio top. This, this is another thing. Quinn is just so fine with getting closer than close, she’s the one that starts the heavy petting, the groping and the kissing in inappropriate places that leads to orgasms, and he’s just going along with it. It’s like they just slot into these roles based on the gender of their bodies (although he’s got to admit she’s always been a little bit take charge with everything outside of the bedroom, so realistically, once she got the hang of it, it made sense) but he’s not sure why.
“Quinn,” he’s pretty sure he should stop her, but she’s leaving a hickey on his collarbone and it’s sending all kinds of mixed messages around his body, especially when one of her hands comes away from his ribs to run down her stomach. It’s the calluses, he’s sure of it, the rough edges of them on her fingers as she skims her hand along his thigh, slipping under the cheerleading skirt to tease at the line of his spanks. “This is definitely not the place for that,” even as he says it, his hips push up to try and chase the feeling, to get more pressure, “what if your mom comes down?”
“You should be quiet then.” Her fingers slip beneath his spanks, flirting around the slit of his pussy before plunging in and Puck’s back arches against her chest, her arm tightening around her waist while her fingers worked him over. “I’ve been hard since before she came home, with your little freak out, and how fucking cute you were.” Her breath ghosts against his ear, lips catching on his earlobe as she gasps and bucks against her fingers. “Could hardly move through dinner, just wanted to fuck you on the damn table.” Puck whines slightly, as Quinn presses her thumb against his clit and starts to rub teasing circles into the nub. His hands move from the table in front of him to Quinn’s arm, clinging to the forearm around his waist as his hips shift up until he’s practically lifting off the stool and fucking himself on her hand.
Puck’s head tips back to lean on Quinn’s shoulder, biting his bottom lip to try and keep from making too much noise. It’s impossible to stop it now, with Quinn so determined to get him off and his body (her body) so worked up that he can’t even think straight; he’s just holding on and riding it out. Quite literally. Quinn turns her head, pressing her mouth to his ear, “Do you have any idea how fucking hard you get me?” And he does, yes, because not too long ago it was him popping the boners and frankly, he’s not sure if he likes this form of arousal more or less and it’s going to cause some kind of existential crisis or something. “Fuck it.”
Lost to the lust induced haze, Puck’s legs barely support him as he’s pulled off the stool and Quinn makes quick work in ridding him of his spanks and panties and leaning him over the counter. He thinks he hears a condom wrapper tearing but it could be the seam of his skirt in Quinn’s hand too, as she presses him over the kitchen island and presses into him with a long, deep thrust and Puck’s that close to just losing it there.
“Quinn, Jesus,” he can’t believe that she’s gone from the poster child of celibacy to fucking him three days in a row; there’s something to be said for seeing things from a new perspective. Considering how worked up they both are, Puck isn’t surprised that he shudders apart fairly quickly and that Quinn follows a few minutes later, holding tight to his hips and breathing hard against his neck, right there in the kitchen. Where Judy could walk back in any second. “You, Ms Fabray, are out of control.”
“Yeah,” she doesn’t even argue, and tame as kitchen sex is in a lot of senses, he’s sort of worried about this potential exhibitionistic thing. “But you love it.” There’s a smile on her face (his face, oh whatever) as she presses lazy kisses against his neck, hand shifting to stroke over his ass.
“I definitely need to clean this place.” If Quinn got her way, he might be cleaning a hell of a lot now.
“I should go.”
“Yeah,” and Puck wasn’t about to ask her to stay, as much as he liked sleeping with her, he wasn’t that much of a chick yet, “you’ll need to get your cock out of me and pull your pants up first.” Weirdest sentence he has ever uttered, no lie.
Quinn just laughs at him.
---
After cleaning up, both the kitchen and himself in the shower, Puck has to throw the Cheerio uniform in the wash and ends up just standing in the kitchen doorway thinking way too much.
Because he’s stopped sort of wanting his own body back. Yeah, he doesn’t want to stay Quinn forever, but it’s not like he’s desperate for them to switch back like he had been. It’s weird how easy some things are and how he doesn’t hate living her life. He seriously wishes she wasn’t such a freak with her class schedule, but beyond that it’s pretty easy to roll with things.
He doesn’t hate hanging out with San and Rach; San is like a totally different person but still kind of the same and it makes it easier to just meld with that, and Rachel is completely chill unless it’s something to do with glee or Broadway or New York. And Cheerio’s doesn’t suck, because sure, it’s instant popularity, but he’s actually pretty good at it and it’s totally an awesome way to stay in shape and keep his wits up because Sylvester is totally still antagonising and he refuses to back down. Sure, he misses the guys a little, but it wasn’t like he was super close to any of them, not really, not since him and Finn had their fall out of Sophomore year over the Quinn and Beth thing and realistically, he doesn’t miss that as much anymore either.
He kind of wonders if Quinn feels the same; he knows she’s down with the sex from his side of things, but what about football and the dude stuff and his friends and missing hers. He’s pretty sure she misses hanging out with Rach and San because she asks about them a lot, but that’s all she really asks about now.
In a weird way, it’s like they’re getting used to it and just accepting it. He’s not sure if he wants to accept it, because that would mean accepting that he is officially Quinn Fabray and no longer Noah Puckerman and he’s not yet sure how he actually feels or if his orgasm is still controlling his brain.
It’s too much to think about post-sex, so really he just needs to shut his brain (her brain, yeah, that’s going to have to stop) the hell up and deal with this. Whatever this really is.
It is not an existential crisis. It’s just not. It’s probably just a mild panic. He’s getting used to those too.
---
Waking up to Judy pottering around in the kitchen was a little unusual, Puck had just gotten used to being on his own that week and hadn't really thought how different it would be when Quinn's mom returned. He still took his time with getting ready, without Cheerio’s practice that day he’d just go with the ‘normal’ clothes for the day which meant figuring out what to put with what and matching shoes. He even went as far as to actually try out the curling thing with his hair this time.
"Morning sweetie," Judy has scrambled eggs all set out for breakfast and Puck literally hates scrambled eggs, seriously how does Quinn eat this mess? It’s not even like Ms Fabray is a bad cook or anything, Puck just hates scrambled eggs. Judy doesn't take much probing before she starts going on about her trip again, enough that Puck can distract her from the fact that he’s not eating the eggs and he doesn't really mind when she mentions the tanning boy again, because good for her.
Judy Fabray is a really attractive woman, he can see that its where Quinn gets her looks from. And if he was still himself and she wasn't Quinn's mom, he so would've done her. And if she's finally realising that she doesn't need to stop living her life because her husband was a massive jackass, well that's pretty great and Puck will sit and listen to her happily. Especially since tanning boy is the first time she’s had sex in ages and she’s practically floating from it. Puck makes the conscious decision to get Judy out of the house on some dates, because this is just tragic and the woman needs a good sex life before she turns into one of those bitter old maids.
He's out the door after a blessedly tension free breakfast and heading to school while listening to some of Quinn's music that might be starting to grow on him (he doesn't get the point of Willow Smith's song, but it's annoyingly catchy but he absolutely does not sing along, he doesn’t) which means he's upbeat when he gets to Rachel's locker.
"Good morning," however upbeat he might be, Rach is always this weirdly happy sort of way first thing in the morning, "did your mom get in okay? How was her trip?"
"She had sex with the tanning boy after he gave her a rub down," Rachel tried to hide her laugh but he so totally saw it. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was the highlight of her week."
"It's funny, because you have a pool boy and she has a tanning boy." That only gets her a mild glare, because it’s mostly true.
"Yeah, we told Mom we were dating last night."
"Oh my- how did it go?"
"Okay, I guess. She just wants us to be careful." He knows there's a blush on his face, his cheeks have this annoying habit of heating up when that happens. Quinn’s body just does these things, it just reacts without any real reason -because he’s not embarrassed, he’s not. But the body seems to react as if he is. It’s totally the same with the panic, this stupid body and these stupid hormones just make him freak out like a big ol’ girl. It sucks.
"Are you and Noah, y'know?" From what Puck's learnt, chicks share just about everything. He sort of hates that about them. But he's not exactly sure how Quinn would feel about Rachel knowing about the sex they've been having since they've only been dating for four days. But then, Puck dated Rachel for seven days and got nowhere, but made out with her before Sectionals and managed to get to second base.
"I don't know, maybe. I mean, we have chemistry." Puck's pretty sure it’s the reason Quinn slept with him in the first place. Because they had that spark while her and Finn were as hot as a wet paper towel. "And, well, it isn't really hatred that makes us argue all the time." Quinn didn't hate him; Quinn was attracted to him and tried to play it off as hate. The fact that they got to each other so much only proved that point. Either that or they were both rather narcissistic.
"But you will be careful, and don't let Noah pressure you. I mean I'm sure he won't, he's grown up a lot, but really Quinn, at your own pace." Yeah, he sort of gets why people think he'd be an ass about sex, but they'd totally be surprised to find out that Quinn is the one fucking him over kitchen tables, wouldn't they.
Not that he can really explain that very well.
---
Puck figures out that Quinn is planning something half way through glee, because there’s this shifty look going on there and he knows that look because it’s his look and she is so not as subtle as she thinks she is with his face. Louise is half way through some Avril Lavinge song that Puck isn’t listening to, because he’s busy tossing looks at a smirking Quinn; he spotted the guitar -not his guitar, but that’s mostly because Quinn doesn’t always bring it to school, but it’s just sitting there all innocent and stuff and Puck knows that it shouldn’t be. Additionally, Rachel’s been all smug and shit most of the day and even Santana made a comment about looking forward to glee.
He wonders if she’s still crawling in his window at night for chats with Quinn.
“Seriously, this isn’t getting a reaction out of you?” Rachel asks him just as Louise stops singing and most of the club are shooting looks between him and Quinn -or Quinn and Puck or whatever- while Louise is smirking from her spot on the floor. Honestly, Puck has no idea what just happened.
“What? Reaction? What did she sing?” Rachel hides a smile behind her hand while San just flat out laughs. He glances over to Quinn with a frown, “What did I miss?”
“Nothing, babe.” Okay, so Quinn’s totally going to need to explain what the hell just happened because he totally zoned out -it’s not even his fault, it’s just that Louise and her singing is just a little boring and he tends not to pay attention to her. He’s pretty sure that everyone thinks Quinn -as in him- hates Louise (not totally true, he doesn’t particularly like the girl, but he doesn’t hate her) and she seems to take that as a personal slight. Someone should explain that Quinn hates a lot of people on principle.
“Thank you, Louise.” Schue is just as lost as he is, Puck’s sure of it from the expression. “Now, before we finish up and you all head out with your assignments, we have one more spur of the moment performance.” There’s a grin on Schue’s face as he rubs his hands together and looks at Quinn. “Puck?”
She wasn’t. She wouldn’t. Oh, she so would. Suddenly, Rach’s giddiness and San’s stupid smug smirk made so much sense and he was legit going to kill her or something. She just smirked at him, picking up the waiting guitar and strumming out a few notes that he didn’t recognise straight off the bat. “ She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes, she can ruin your faith with her casual lies,” Puck can’t help the small laugh, because she’s seriously singing Billy Joel to him? ‘Always a Woman’ has to be one of the most insulting serenades ever, and it’s just so them that Puck isn’t convinced Rachel didn’t help Quinn pick the song until he glances at Berry and she is just shocked. Okay, so Rachel didn’t help. “ She will promise you more, than the Garden of Eden, then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleedin'. But she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be. Blame it all on yourself cause she's always a woman to me.” He’s not sure if he should be offended or seriously confused, or just go with it, because Quinn’s actually managed to work shit so that she is legit singing to him and not just doing some saccharine crap that’ll make him look like a pussy.
When she finishes up the song, everyone is just silent as she puts down the guitar and frankly, they should be applauding her for finding the fucking perfect song and having the balls to sing it to him in front of them. She seriously just ribbed the ever loving fuck out of herself and he has never liked her more. He at least waits until the guitar is safely out of the way before crossing the floor to hit her shoulder with a grin on his face.
“You are such a dork. What did I tell you, no more singing you, argh, you infuriate me.” Quinn just laughs at him, pulling him by the wrist that she caught when he hit her shoulder and practically smothering him in a hug.
“You love it,” he’s not admitting that it was kind of cool. “C’mon, admit it, you totally love it.”
“Noah, as lovely as your intentions might be, I um, was that-” Rach glances around while Quinn and Puck watch her from the middle of the floor, Puck’s arm around Quinn’s waist while Quinn keeps an arm around his shoulders (he totally knows that they are seeing Puck cuddle Quinn but that is only half the story, isn’t it). “It’s just that was a vaguely insulting song choice and, I just, Quinn, why are you laughing?”
“Because it’s true.” If Quinn can poke fun at herself from his body, then he can own up to that shit. “At least Noah understands what he’s getting himself in to.”
“Bring it, baby.” Puck isn’t too oblivious to Louise’s huff and glare, as Quinn dips in to steal a quick kiss right there. He also doesn’t miss that slightly pinched look on Finn’s face and really, is he still being weird over the whole ex-girlfriend thing?
“Keep that up and I’ll make your life hell, just because I can. I will make Lauren look like a walk in the park.” They keep up the banter even as they’re dismissed from glee with a shrug from Schue and Puck knows that they’re getting stares from most of the group, because this is so very relaxed for both of them and who the hell cares.
Quinn just threads her fingers through his to pull them both out the door with their back packs in hand and Puck throws a wave to Rachel and Santana over his shoulder at them while Quinn drags him towards the now deserted locker room, because she decides that she needs a little reward for being such an awesome ‘boyfriend’.
---
Part Twelve
Chapter: 11/?
Rating: overall NC-17, this chapter R
Characters: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman, Quinn Fabray, ensemble
Pairing: Quinn/Puck
Warnings: Body swap, teen pregnancy
Spoilers: Blanket Season 2
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
A/N: from the glee_angst_meme, prompt here
Summary: Somehow, Quinn and Puck somehow end up in each others bodies. It's not as fun as it sounds either. The really horrifying thing? Puck ends up pregnant and seeing how the other half lives. This is not how he wanted to spend his senior year.
Secondary Note: Really, really, really confusing pronouns ahead.
Judy is definitely a little uncomfortable standing at the door, her suitcase just to her side and Puck and Quinn standing in the family room, just a little guilty looking. Quinn jumps on the ball by stretching over to offer a hand shake, smiling tightly and a ‘Ms Fabray’ greeting with a nod before picking up Judy’s suitcase to place it further inside the house.
“Quinn, what’s that smell?” Quinn rolls her eyes, behind Judy and Puck knows that Ms Fabray has had to ask that question a million times before, mostly because Quinn’s managed to burn toast to within an inch of incineration again.
“Noah made dinner.” He’s probably laying it on a little thick, but he did just have Quinn’s hand under his skirt, so it’s likely that buttering up Ms Fabray might be necessary. “We figured maybe you’d want a home cooked meal?” The beauty of it is, Puck’s already gotten everything organised so that Quinn just needs to plate things up. She can at least work the presentation aspect of the food serving.
So they end up in the kitchen, sitting around the island counter, Judy talking at length about the retreat she went on and why the other women didn’t have it nearly as good as she did, and Quinn gets this pinched look when Judy mentions the tanning boy.
“Mom, could you not talk about that?” Puck knows that Judy has been dating. Puck has told Quinn that Judy has been dating. Quinn didn’t take it too badly and since her dad has a mistress, a whore and a girlfriend, well, Ms Fabray shouldn’t be denied a little hanky panky in Puck’s opinion. But Quinn, she just doesn’t want to know.
“Okay, how about we talk about you two?” Okay, that was really just falling on the sword that time. “Have you been ‘hanging out’ long?” Judy does the air quotes around the hanging out and there’s a blush starting to show on Quinn’s cheeks and Puck has to jump in before Quinn actually embarrasses him.
“Noah’s trying to teach me how to cook. It’s a work in progress. But um,” it would be really helpful if Quinn could just jump in with assistance at any time. It’s not like he’s ever had to sit his mother down to introduce her to any of his girlfriends (the only time that happened was when his Ma met Quinn and she was pregnant and homeless and that was a whole other ball game) so it’s not like he knows what the hell he’s doing. “We’re dating.” Probably best to just get it out there, like ripping off a band aid.
“And how long has that been going on?”
“Um, since Saturday?” That was their date, right? So that’s when they started dating. “We went out for dinner, and played some games and had some ice cream. Then Noah went home to babysit his sister.” It feels important to point out that after their date Noah went home. Judy looks between Puck and Quinn, her eyebrow raised in a manner that Puck’s seen numerous times on Quinn’s face -he’s even managed to pull it off himself a few times.
“Well, I’m glad you’re being honest with me, and I hope that you both understand my position when I ask that you are both careful.” The way she says it, Puck knows exactly what she’s talking about, and maybe there’s no point in denying anything or something, but Puck just finds himself nodding while Quinn does the same. “Dinner was lovely, Noah, thank you very much, but I’m a little tired from the flight.” Ms Fabray gives Puck a kiss on the cheek as she heads upstairs, promising that they’ll talk about her trip later and Quinn gives her a small wave.
“Did that go well? I feel like it went well. I can’t tell for sure though.” Quinn laughs slightly as she starts clearing up, putting the dishes in the dishwasher and the pots in the sink and Puck just watches. “You know she totally boned the tanning boy, right?”
“Puck, don’t even go there.” He just laughs, because it’s such a reversal from who they are -she’s him, and he’s supposed to be vulgar and rude and make all the innuendoes, while he’s her, and she’s uptight and controlled and just a little frigid. Except she’s totally not when she’s in his body. She sort of demonstrated that for him, didn’t she. He’s still trying to work out where the second nature actions came from, how she just sort of embraced it all -she’d been a blushing virgin their first time, and he knew that Finn never got past first base, nor did Sam, so he’s just a little curious as to where this Quinn came from or if it was just because she was in his body that she managed to just let it go.
He’s still wondering, after she’s cleared up the kitchen, and he’s just sitting there, thinking these things through when Quinn presses against his back, her hands on his hips as she places kisses against his neck. Serious thought goes straight out the window as her hands run up her sides, slipping under the Cheerio top. This, this is another thing. Quinn is just so fine with getting closer than close, she’s the one that starts the heavy petting, the groping and the kissing in inappropriate places that leads to orgasms, and he’s just going along with it. It’s like they just slot into these roles based on the gender of their bodies (although he’s got to admit she’s always been a little bit take charge with everything outside of the bedroom, so realistically, once she got the hang of it, it made sense) but he’s not sure why.
“Quinn,” he’s pretty sure he should stop her, but she’s leaving a hickey on his collarbone and it’s sending all kinds of mixed messages around his body, especially when one of her hands comes away from his ribs to run down her stomach. It’s the calluses, he’s sure of it, the rough edges of them on her fingers as she skims her hand along his thigh, slipping under the cheerleading skirt to tease at the line of his spanks. “This is definitely not the place for that,” even as he says it, his hips push up to try and chase the feeling, to get more pressure, “what if your mom comes down?”
“You should be quiet then.” Her fingers slip beneath his spanks, flirting around the slit of his pussy before plunging in and Puck’s back arches against her chest, her arm tightening around her waist while her fingers worked him over. “I’ve been hard since before she came home, with your little freak out, and how fucking cute you were.” Her breath ghosts against his ear, lips catching on his earlobe as she gasps and bucks against her fingers. “Could hardly move through dinner, just wanted to fuck you on the damn table.” Puck whines slightly, as Quinn presses her thumb against his clit and starts to rub teasing circles into the nub. His hands move from the table in front of him to Quinn’s arm, clinging to the forearm around his waist as his hips shift up until he’s practically lifting off the stool and fucking himself on her hand.
Puck’s head tips back to lean on Quinn’s shoulder, biting his bottom lip to try and keep from making too much noise. It’s impossible to stop it now, with Quinn so determined to get him off and his body (her body) so worked up that he can’t even think straight; he’s just holding on and riding it out. Quite literally. Quinn turns her head, pressing her mouth to his ear, “Do you have any idea how fucking hard you get me?” And he does, yes, because not too long ago it was him popping the boners and frankly, he’s not sure if he likes this form of arousal more or less and it’s going to cause some kind of existential crisis or something. “Fuck it.”
Lost to the lust induced haze, Puck’s legs barely support him as he’s pulled off the stool and Quinn makes quick work in ridding him of his spanks and panties and leaning him over the counter. He thinks he hears a condom wrapper tearing but it could be the seam of his skirt in Quinn’s hand too, as she presses him over the kitchen island and presses into him with a long, deep thrust and Puck’s that close to just losing it there.
“Quinn, Jesus,” he can’t believe that she’s gone from the poster child of celibacy to fucking him three days in a row; there’s something to be said for seeing things from a new perspective. Considering how worked up they both are, Puck isn’t surprised that he shudders apart fairly quickly and that Quinn follows a few minutes later, holding tight to his hips and breathing hard against his neck, right there in the kitchen. Where Judy could walk back in any second. “You, Ms Fabray, are out of control.”
“Yeah,” she doesn’t even argue, and tame as kitchen sex is in a lot of senses, he’s sort of worried about this potential exhibitionistic thing. “But you love it.” There’s a smile on her face (his face, oh whatever) as she presses lazy kisses against his neck, hand shifting to stroke over his ass.
“I definitely need to clean this place.” If Quinn got her way, he might be cleaning a hell of a lot now.
“I should go.”
“Yeah,” and Puck wasn’t about to ask her to stay, as much as he liked sleeping with her, he wasn’t that much of a chick yet, “you’ll need to get your cock out of me and pull your pants up first.” Weirdest sentence he has ever uttered, no lie.
Quinn just laughs at him.
---
After cleaning up, both the kitchen and himself in the shower, Puck has to throw the Cheerio uniform in the wash and ends up just standing in the kitchen doorway thinking way too much.
Because he’s stopped sort of wanting his own body back. Yeah, he doesn’t want to stay Quinn forever, but it’s not like he’s desperate for them to switch back like he had been. It’s weird how easy some things are and how he doesn’t hate living her life. He seriously wishes she wasn’t such a freak with her class schedule, but beyond that it’s pretty easy to roll with things.
He doesn’t hate hanging out with San and Rach; San is like a totally different person but still kind of the same and it makes it easier to just meld with that, and Rachel is completely chill unless it’s something to do with glee or Broadway or New York. And Cheerio’s doesn’t suck, because sure, it’s instant popularity, but he’s actually pretty good at it and it’s totally an awesome way to stay in shape and keep his wits up because Sylvester is totally still antagonising and he refuses to back down. Sure, he misses the guys a little, but it wasn’t like he was super close to any of them, not really, not since him and Finn had their fall out of Sophomore year over the Quinn and Beth thing and realistically, he doesn’t miss that as much anymore either.
He kind of wonders if Quinn feels the same; he knows she’s down with the sex from his side of things, but what about football and the dude stuff and his friends and missing hers. He’s pretty sure she misses hanging out with Rach and San because she asks about them a lot, but that’s all she really asks about now.
In a weird way, it’s like they’re getting used to it and just accepting it. He’s not sure if he wants to accept it, because that would mean accepting that he is officially Quinn Fabray and no longer Noah Puckerman and he’s not yet sure how he actually feels or if his orgasm is still controlling his brain.
It’s too much to think about post-sex, so really he just needs to shut his brain (her brain, yeah, that’s going to have to stop) the hell up and deal with this. Whatever this really is.
It is not an existential crisis. It’s just not. It’s probably just a mild panic. He’s getting used to those too.
---
Waking up to Judy pottering around in the kitchen was a little unusual, Puck had just gotten used to being on his own that week and hadn't really thought how different it would be when Quinn's mom returned. He still took his time with getting ready, without Cheerio’s practice that day he’d just go with the ‘normal’ clothes for the day which meant figuring out what to put with what and matching shoes. He even went as far as to actually try out the curling thing with his hair this time.
"Morning sweetie," Judy has scrambled eggs all set out for breakfast and Puck literally hates scrambled eggs, seriously how does Quinn eat this mess? It’s not even like Ms Fabray is a bad cook or anything, Puck just hates scrambled eggs. Judy doesn't take much probing before she starts going on about her trip again, enough that Puck can distract her from the fact that he’s not eating the eggs and he doesn't really mind when she mentions the tanning boy again, because good for her.
Judy Fabray is a really attractive woman, he can see that its where Quinn gets her looks from. And if he was still himself and she wasn't Quinn's mom, he so would've done her. And if she's finally realising that she doesn't need to stop living her life because her husband was a massive jackass, well that's pretty great and Puck will sit and listen to her happily. Especially since tanning boy is the first time she’s had sex in ages and she’s practically floating from it. Puck makes the conscious decision to get Judy out of the house on some dates, because this is just tragic and the woman needs a good sex life before she turns into one of those bitter old maids.
He's out the door after a blessedly tension free breakfast and heading to school while listening to some of Quinn's music that might be starting to grow on him (he doesn't get the point of Willow Smith's song, but it's annoyingly catchy but he absolutely does not sing along, he doesn’t) which means he's upbeat when he gets to Rachel's locker.
"Good morning," however upbeat he might be, Rach is always this weirdly happy sort of way first thing in the morning, "did your mom get in okay? How was her trip?"
"She had sex with the tanning boy after he gave her a rub down," Rachel tried to hide her laugh but he so totally saw it. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was the highlight of her week."
"It's funny, because you have a pool boy and she has a tanning boy." That only gets her a mild glare, because it’s mostly true.
"Yeah, we told Mom we were dating last night."
"Oh my- how did it go?"
"Okay, I guess. She just wants us to be careful." He knows there's a blush on his face, his cheeks have this annoying habit of heating up when that happens. Quinn’s body just does these things, it just reacts without any real reason -because he’s not embarrassed, he’s not. But the body seems to react as if he is. It’s totally the same with the panic, this stupid body and these stupid hormones just make him freak out like a big ol’ girl. It sucks.
"Are you and Noah, y'know?" From what Puck's learnt, chicks share just about everything. He sort of hates that about them. But he's not exactly sure how Quinn would feel about Rachel knowing about the sex they've been having since they've only been dating for four days. But then, Puck dated Rachel for seven days and got nowhere, but made out with her before Sectionals and managed to get to second base.
"I don't know, maybe. I mean, we have chemistry." Puck's pretty sure it’s the reason Quinn slept with him in the first place. Because they had that spark while her and Finn were as hot as a wet paper towel. "And, well, it isn't really hatred that makes us argue all the time." Quinn didn't hate him; Quinn was attracted to him and tried to play it off as hate. The fact that they got to each other so much only proved that point. Either that or they were both rather narcissistic.
"But you will be careful, and don't let Noah pressure you. I mean I'm sure he won't, he's grown up a lot, but really Quinn, at your own pace." Yeah, he sort of gets why people think he'd be an ass about sex, but they'd totally be surprised to find out that Quinn is the one fucking him over kitchen tables, wouldn't they.
Not that he can really explain that very well.
---
Puck figures out that Quinn is planning something half way through glee, because there’s this shifty look going on there and he knows that look because it’s his look and she is so not as subtle as she thinks she is with his face. Louise is half way through some Avril Lavinge song that Puck isn’t listening to, because he’s busy tossing looks at a smirking Quinn; he spotted the guitar -not his guitar, but that’s mostly because Quinn doesn’t always bring it to school, but it’s just sitting there all innocent and stuff and Puck knows that it shouldn’t be. Additionally, Rachel’s been all smug and shit most of the day and even Santana made a comment about looking forward to glee.
He wonders if she’s still crawling in his window at night for chats with Quinn.
“Seriously, this isn’t getting a reaction out of you?” Rachel asks him just as Louise stops singing and most of the club are shooting looks between him and Quinn -or Quinn and Puck or whatever- while Louise is smirking from her spot on the floor. Honestly, Puck has no idea what just happened.
“What? Reaction? What did she sing?” Rachel hides a smile behind her hand while San just flat out laughs. He glances over to Quinn with a frown, “What did I miss?”
“Nothing, babe.” Okay, so Quinn’s totally going to need to explain what the hell just happened because he totally zoned out -it’s not even his fault, it’s just that Louise and her singing is just a little boring and he tends not to pay attention to her. He’s pretty sure that everyone thinks Quinn -as in him- hates Louise (not totally true, he doesn’t particularly like the girl, but he doesn’t hate her) and she seems to take that as a personal slight. Someone should explain that Quinn hates a lot of people on principle.
“Thank you, Louise.” Schue is just as lost as he is, Puck’s sure of it from the expression. “Now, before we finish up and you all head out with your assignments, we have one more spur of the moment performance.” There’s a grin on Schue’s face as he rubs his hands together and looks at Quinn. “Puck?”
She wasn’t. She wouldn’t. Oh, she so would. Suddenly, Rach’s giddiness and San’s stupid smug smirk made so much sense and he was legit going to kill her or something. She just smirked at him, picking up the waiting guitar and strumming out a few notes that he didn’t recognise straight off the bat. “ She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes, she can ruin your faith with her casual lies,” Puck can’t help the small laugh, because she’s seriously singing Billy Joel to him? ‘Always a Woman’ has to be one of the most insulting serenades ever, and it’s just so them that Puck isn’t convinced Rachel didn’t help Quinn pick the song until he glances at Berry and she is just shocked. Okay, so Rachel didn’t help. “ She will promise you more, than the Garden of Eden, then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleedin'. But she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be. Blame it all on yourself cause she's always a woman to me.” He’s not sure if he should be offended or seriously confused, or just go with it, because Quinn’s actually managed to work shit so that she is legit singing to him and not just doing some saccharine crap that’ll make him look like a pussy.
When she finishes up the song, everyone is just silent as she puts down the guitar and frankly, they should be applauding her for finding the fucking perfect song and having the balls to sing it to him in front of them. She seriously just ribbed the ever loving fuck out of herself and he has never liked her more. He at least waits until the guitar is safely out of the way before crossing the floor to hit her shoulder with a grin on his face.
“You are such a dork. What did I tell you, no more singing you, argh, you infuriate me.” Quinn just laughs at him, pulling him by the wrist that she caught when he hit her shoulder and practically smothering him in a hug.
“You love it,” he’s not admitting that it was kind of cool. “C’mon, admit it, you totally love it.”
“Noah, as lovely as your intentions might be, I um, was that-” Rach glances around while Quinn and Puck watch her from the middle of the floor, Puck’s arm around Quinn’s waist while Quinn keeps an arm around his shoulders (he totally knows that they are seeing Puck cuddle Quinn but that is only half the story, isn’t it). “It’s just that was a vaguely insulting song choice and, I just, Quinn, why are you laughing?”
“Because it’s true.” If Quinn can poke fun at herself from his body, then he can own up to that shit. “At least Noah understands what he’s getting himself in to.”
“Bring it, baby.” Puck isn’t too oblivious to Louise’s huff and glare, as Quinn dips in to steal a quick kiss right there. He also doesn’t miss that slightly pinched look on Finn’s face and really, is he still being weird over the whole ex-girlfriend thing?
“Keep that up and I’ll make your life hell, just because I can. I will make Lauren look like a walk in the park.” They keep up the banter even as they’re dismissed from glee with a shrug from Schue and Puck knows that they’re getting stares from most of the group, because this is so very relaxed for both of them and who the hell cares.
Quinn just threads her fingers through his to pull them both out the door with their back packs in hand and Puck throws a wave to Rachel and Santana over his shoulder at them while Quinn drags him towards the now deserted locker room, because she decides that she needs a little reward for being such an awesome ‘boyfriend’.
---
Part Twelve