"First thing in the morning" is relative.

Happy Yule! May your days grow longer!

(Unless, of course, you live in the southern hemisphere, in which case your days growing longer would sort of prove those Mayan apocalypse people right...)

Dec. 7, 1941: What a preemptive first strike actually looks like.

The Christmas tree -- otherwise known as "the ultimate cat toy."

Black Friday. Half of America still in a turkey-induced stupor, the other half voluntarily sequestering themselves in retail establishments. What better day for a Red Dawn-style invasion?

I'm descended from Pilgrims, so I get to tell the rest of you what to do, right?

The day before Thanksgiving, better known as "Housework Day."

Yesterday was the holiday. Today I get to sleep, right?

Whether a volunteer or a draftee, we thank you.

Today's the day we're all supposed to root for New Orleans.