Tomorrow is the day we celebrate freedom from tyranny. Be sure to post to facebook about it so the NSA knows you're celebrating.

If someone says, "Happy Fathers Day," just say, "Thank you." They don't know something you don't know.

Today we remember, by taking vacation.

To me, you're all mothers.

Think how many people celebrate freedom from oppression in a country that oppresses them.

Next year in Jerusalem. Or maybe the year after that. Well, someday in Jerusalem.

3.14 gets all the attention. But what about 3.18? Happy "eat something you like" day!

Patrick was responsible for a genocide. What's a boy who wants to celebrate his Irish heritage supposed to do?

Omigod! My calendar ends at midnight tonight! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!!!

Who cares if it's become a secular holiday. It started as a pagan holiday. Merry Christmas!