John really wasn't doing too much of anything, mostly having just zoned out as he ran his last leg up the path toward the compound. Ronon had left him behind long ago, which he was really goddamn glad about, because trying to keep up with him was not only damaging to his ego, but his lungs and legs as well.
When he saw Jim just standing there with Sam, John slowed to a stop, breathing heavily as he caught his breath. "Hey, buddy."
Jim was startled out of his thoughts, focusing on John only after he spoke. His heart sank a little when he realized how many people he was going to have to tell about this. It somehow made things that much harder.
"Hey, um," he started, and his voice trembled a little without him meaning to sound like that. He took a deep breath before continuing, feeling close to falling apart again. If Sam wasn't settled in his arms, he probably would have already. "We need to talk."
We need to talk was the kind of thing John's previous girlfriends always said to him before he found himself girlfriendless again. As far as John knew, Jim wasn't a girl, or the kind of guy who said he needed to talk just because he wanted to say hey.
Looking at little closer at Jim, John was pretty damn sure he didn't want to hear what he had to say. "Yeah, sure."
Jim swallowed, looking down. It was hard enough to deal with this all, nevermind having to be the bearer of bad news. Pam was important to a lot of people, and he knew it was pretty much his job to do it, but it didn't make it any easier.
"I woke up today, and...she's gone, John. All her stuff is..."
He trailed off. He didn't think he needed to continue. Sam shifted in his arms a little, and all Jim could do was hold her a little tighter. He wasn't going to have this place take her too.
Susan had taken Rickon up to the compound for a checkup, which he made it through with flying colours, and decided to stop by and see Jim and Pam on the way home. It was the first time she had really been out with Rickon since his birth, and since Rickon was in a good mood, she was not in a hurry to get home.
But when she saw Jim standing outside the house, holding Samantha, she knew something was wrong.
Very wrong.
"Jim?" she asked as she walked up. Rickon squirmed, and she shifted him a little to rest against her shoulder.
There were very few people he thought he'd feel comfortable breaking down in front of, and Susan was one of them. He didn't, no matter how much he felt like it, if only because he had Sam with him. She was one thing he could focus on that was a constant.
"She's gone," he said, softly, his voice hitching a little as he looked away. There were better ways to break the news, he knew, but at that point, he was barely able to talk, nevermind figure a way to soften the blow.
"Oh, no," said Susan, who knew exactly what gone meant when said in that tone; she'd said it often enough herself. Her heart ached at the thought of her good friend gone, but it ached even more for Jim, and for their daughter. Very careful of Rickon in her arms and Samantha in his, she closed the small space between them and gave her friend a gentle hug. "I'm so sorry, Jim."
She knew from experience that it was useless to say, is there anything I can do for you? because the only thing Jim would want would be for Pam to have not disappeared in the first place; so she didn't, at least not yet. Instead she squeezed his shoulder again before letting go and giving her goddaughter a kiss on the temple.
There wasn't really much to say besides that. Jim felt strangely hollow, and he barely leaned into the comfort offered. He sighed, holding Sam a little closer when she started to squirm a little in his arms.
"Yeah, I'm sorry, too," he murmured, not even to try to mask how miserable he probably sounded. "I...have no idea what to do now."
The Halpert's home was a regular stop on River and Simon Chicago's morning walk. Jim standing there, looking kind of lost, was not a usual thing, however, and River knew right away that something was wrong.
Simon hadn't quite noticed yet, and barked in greeting, trying to get Samantha's attention. Usually the baby was the first to greet him with a happy squeal and a chewing of the ears, but today she wasn't even down on the ground.
"Hush," she said quietly to the dog as she walked closer. "Ni hao, Sammy," she said, reaching out a hand to stroke the baby's curly little head. "What's the matter, Jim?" she asked, not quite sure she wanted to know.
Sam immediately brightened at the sight of Simon, and with her father not being so very entertaining, she squirmed to get out of his grip to see the dog. Jim almost didn't want to put her down, for fear she'd somehow disappear if he did, but he knew she ought to be put at ease as possible while this was going on.
Once she was sitting on the ground, already reaching for the dog, he stood up and rubbed the side of his neck. It was the closest he'd been to crying since he woke up, but he forced it back. He had too much to do now to start mourning already.
"She's..." he started, but trailed off, feeling the words getting stuck in the back of his throat. "I woke up and she wasn't there. Everything's...missing."
River's first instinct was to turn around and run home immediately to make sure that Mal and Simon were still there. But she had just had breakfast with them and she knew she had to have some kind of faith that they wouldn't vanish every time she went out into the world for a little while. Otherwise, she wouldn't be able to function at all, and Jim needed her. He'd been there for her when she had lost Simon (twice) and she would be there for him now.
"Oh," she said softly. "Oh, no."
She didn't ask if he was sure. There was no mistaking when the people you loved were gone; anyone who had lived on the island for a while knew that. She glanced down at Samantha, happily playing with Simon Chicago as though she hadn't just lost her mother, and knew she was probably going to cry herself before long.
That had been more or less his own response. Jim wasn't sure what to do with himself now that he wasn't holding Sam, and he didn't have it in him to take her away from what she was doing. He stuck his hands in his pockets instead, ignoring the feel of the rings there against his fingers.
"I...have no idea what I'm going to do," he said, not looking at River. He knew if he did, he might lose what semblance of control he had on himself. "I mean...I don't think I can do this. Not without..."
He trailed off, his breath hitching a little as he took a deep breath to calm himself down.
Since his first attempt at making toys back when he'd found out Kara was pregnant, Lennox had gotten a hell of a lot better and it was with a pretty fancy set of blocks that he'd headed over to see Pam. Samantha probably wasn't quite old enough to be using them yet, but he'd made sure to sand all the edges and had painted them nicely to make them different colours so that maybe she'd like them more when she got older.
"Hey, Jim," he said brightly as he approached the hut and spotted him standing outside with his daughter. "What's shaking, man?"
Seeing Lennox just served to remind him how many people he was going to have to tell about this. The thought was disheartening, in a way - repeating it over and over would just make it more real, and at that point, he still didn't even want to admit it to himself.
Sam was excited to see Lennox, at least, and Jim had to hold her a little more tightly when she squirmed in his arms.
"A lot," he replied, keeping his voice even despite how he was actually feeling. He really didn't know how he was going to get through this. "Something's happened."
Dropping the bag of blocks to his feet, Lennox held his arms out, silently offering to take Sam from Jim if he wanted to give her up for a minute until she got over her squirming. He loved that she was happy to see him and he couldn't help giving her a little grin.
But the second Jim spoke, Lennox's gaze snapped back to him and his smile disappeared. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly, because something was wrong. When people sounded like that, something was always wrong.
Lennox had been a good friend of Pam's. He knew that. It wouldn't be fair for him to find out from anyone but him. Thing was, he knew of no easy way to do this, especially so soon after things had happened, so he settled for just the truth.
"Pam, she..." he started, then trailed off, finding the words hard to come out. "I woke up, and...everything's gone."
He didn't say she was gone. Couldn't, really, no matter how much he willed the words out of his mouth. It made things too real, and that would only lead to him not being able to hold himself together.
If Veronica missed anything about Neptune, it was how busy things got. Her days here were simple, even ordered in a way they had never been in high school. After what little business she had to put in order was squared away, after her training was done, she went out to see everyone. Drop in visits were routine. She told herself it was because she had nothing better to do, but part of her needed it, just to be sure.
Jim looked so still, so lost, when she approached, that for once she wasn't sure what to say. "Hey there," she said at last, reaching her hands toward Sam as her gaze shifted from father to daughter. "Hey, Sammy."
Sam was more than happy to see a familiar face, still completely unaware of what just happened. She grasped onto one of her hands, babbling happily, and Jim felt the lump in his throat grow a little more.
Veronica had been the first person he thought of. He wasn't ready for this conversation, not by any means, though he knew he couldn't go on pretending things were fine until he was. He didn't think he'd even be able to do that.
"We need to talk," he said, his voice even and quiet.
Veronica curled her fingers gently around Sam's, reaching with her free hand to brush her knuckles lightly against her cheek. Nothing about this could be good, but Veronica had heard horrible enough news in her life to know there was no turning away from it. She could only push forward.
"I'm all ears," she assured him, nodding, serious. It wasn't the time to be cracking jokes, she could see that plain as day. "You wanna go inside? Sit down, maybe?"
A part of him never wanted to go in there again. It just seemed empty, devoid of what life it once had, and it only served to remind him what had just happened. Still, sitting down would probably be better for this kind of thing, and he nodded his head absently as he opened the door and stepped aside for her to go in.
Remy was right there to greet her, though even he seemed melancholy, only greeting her with a slight wag of his tail, like he knew something was amiss too.
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When he saw Jim just standing there with Sam, John slowed to a stop, breathing heavily as he caught his breath. "Hey, buddy."
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"Hey, um," he started, and his voice trembled a little without him meaning to sound like that. He took a deep breath before continuing, feeling close to falling apart again. If Sam wasn't settled in his arms, he probably would have already. "We need to talk."
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Looking at little closer at Jim, John was pretty damn sure he didn't want to hear what he had to say. "Yeah, sure."
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"I woke up today, and...she's gone, John. All her stuff is..."
He trailed off. He didn't think he needed to continue. Sam shifted in his arms a little, and all Jim could do was hold her a little tighter. He wasn't going to have this place take her too.
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But when she saw Jim standing outside the house, holding Samantha, she knew something was wrong.
Very wrong.
"Jim?" she asked as she walked up. Rickon squirmed, and she shifted him a little to rest against her shoulder.
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"She's gone," he said, softly, his voice hitching a little as he looked away. There were better ways to break the news, he knew, but at that point, he was barely able to talk, nevermind figure a way to soften the blow.
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She knew from experience that it was useless to say, is there anything I can do for you? because the only thing Jim would want would be for Pam to have not disappeared in the first place; so she didn't, at least not yet. Instead she squeezed his shoulder again before letting go and giving her goddaughter a kiss on the temple.
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"Yeah, I'm sorry, too," he murmured, not even to try to mask how miserable he probably sounded. "I...have no idea what to do now."
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Simon hadn't quite noticed yet, and barked in greeting, trying to get Samantha's attention. Usually the baby was the first to greet him with a happy squeal and a chewing of the ears, but today she wasn't even down on the ground.
"Hush," she said quietly to the dog as she walked closer. "Ni hao, Sammy," she said, reaching out a hand to stroke the baby's curly little head. "What's the matter, Jim?" she asked, not quite sure she wanted to know.
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Once she was sitting on the ground, already reaching for the dog, he stood up and rubbed the side of his neck. It was the closest he'd been to crying since he woke up, but he forced it back. He had too much to do now to start mourning already.
"She's..." he started, but trailed off, feeling the words getting stuck in the back of his throat. "I woke up and she wasn't there. Everything's...missing."
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"Oh," she said softly. "Oh, no."
She didn't ask if he was sure. There was no mistaking when the people you loved were gone; anyone who had lived on the island for a while knew that. She glanced down at Samantha, happily playing with Simon Chicago as though she hadn't just lost her mother, and knew she was probably going to cry herself before long.
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"I...have no idea what I'm going to do," he said, not looking at River. He knew if he did, he might lose what semblance of control he had on himself. "I mean...I don't think I can do this. Not without..."
He trailed off, his breath hitching a little as he took a deep breath to calm himself down.
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"Hey, Jim," he said brightly as he approached the hut and spotted him standing outside with his daughter. "What's shaking, man?"
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Sam was excited to see Lennox, at least, and Jim had to hold her a little more tightly when she squirmed in his arms.
"A lot," he replied, keeping his voice even despite how he was actually feeling. He really didn't know how he was going to get through this. "Something's happened."
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But the second Jim spoke, Lennox's gaze snapped back to him and his smile disappeared. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly, because something was wrong. When people sounded like that, something was always wrong.
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"Pam, she..." he started, then trailed off, finding the words hard to come out. "I woke up, and...everything's gone."
He didn't say she was gone. Couldn't, really, no matter how much he willed the words out of his mouth. It made things too real, and that would only lead to him not being able to hold himself together.
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Jim looked so still, so lost, when she approached, that for once she wasn't sure what to say. "Hey there," she said at last, reaching her hands toward Sam as her gaze shifted from father to daughter. "Hey, Sammy."
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Veronica had been the first person he thought of. He wasn't ready for this conversation, not by any means, though he knew he couldn't go on pretending things were fine until he was. He didn't think he'd even be able to do that.
"We need to talk," he said, his voice even and quiet.
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"I'm all ears," she assured him, nodding, serious. It wasn't the time to be cracking jokes, she could see that plain as day. "You wanna go inside? Sit down, maybe?"
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Remy was right there to greet her, though even he seemed melancholy, only greeting her with a slight wag of his tail, like he knew something was amiss too.
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