(no subject)
Jim'd heard about enough of these to know what'd happened.
There was a strange silence in the hut he wasn't used to, and the spot next to him was cold. He'd woken up with a bad feeling that had become worse and worse as he realized things were missing. It was when he found the rings on her side of the bed that he felt it was all confirmed, and he wasn't sure what to do with himself, then.
He stood in the middle of the room with the rings in his hand, and it felt like the weight of the world had just been piled on his shoulders. He didn't know what to do with himself, whether he should cry or hit something, and he eventually settled for the overwhelming feeling of numbness that eventually took over all his senses.
He didn't know how long he stood there. It was the quiet sniffling of his daughter and the quiet whine of Rembrandt at his feet that brought him out of it, and he stared at the room's door before slowly moving to enter it. She lay there, looking up at him, tears threating to spill down her cheeks. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he leaned down and pulled her out of the crib, holding her close, pressing a gentle kiss against the curly hair she'd inherited from her mother.
"It's okay," he whispered, trying to sound like he meant it. She calmed down once he was holding her, though she remained a little fussy, as if she knew something was wrong.
Jim didn't care. At that point, she could have been the most rotten child in the world and he would have kept holding her. She was the last remaining part he had of Pam, and a part of him felt like the island was going to take her away from him, too. He tried his best to keep to their usual morning routine, painfully aware of what was missing but not willing to fall apart in front of her.
Jim made it a few steps outside before the feeling of being overwhelmed really hit him. He just stood there, holding Sam, realizing just how much he had to do now. He didn't even know where to start. He wasn't ready for this - for being without her, for being the only one to raise Sam.
He would have never been ready for this.
There was a strange silence in the hut he wasn't used to, and the spot next to him was cold. He'd woken up with a bad feeling that had become worse and worse as he realized things were missing. It was when he found the rings on her side of the bed that he felt it was all confirmed, and he wasn't sure what to do with himself, then.
He stood in the middle of the room with the rings in his hand, and it felt like the weight of the world had just been piled on his shoulders. He didn't know what to do with himself, whether he should cry or hit something, and he eventually settled for the overwhelming feeling of numbness that eventually took over all his senses.
He didn't know how long he stood there. It was the quiet sniffling of his daughter and the quiet whine of Rembrandt at his feet that brought him out of it, and he stared at the room's door before slowly moving to enter it. She lay there, looking up at him, tears threating to spill down her cheeks. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he leaned down and pulled her out of the crib, holding her close, pressing a gentle kiss against the curly hair she'd inherited from her mother.
"It's okay," he whispered, trying to sound like he meant it. She calmed down once he was holding her, though she remained a little fussy, as if she knew something was wrong.
Jim didn't care. At that point, she could have been the most rotten child in the world and he would have kept holding her. She was the last remaining part he had of Pam, and a part of him felt like the island was going to take her away from him, too. He tried his best to keep to their usual morning routine, painfully aware of what was missing but not willing to fall apart in front of her.
Jim made it a few steps outside before the feeling of being overwhelmed really hit him. He just stood there, holding Sam, realizing just how much he had to do now. He didn't even know where to start. He wasn't ready for this - for being without her, for being the only one to raise Sam.
He would have never been ready for this.