what could love be
other than

something awkward
abused
not at all fleeting

painful

and panic, that's another story
manifesting physically, scary warning

well geeez.
i AM just a boy who plays tennis!

smoke then mint.
smoke then mint.
curing the antsies with two repetitive swift activities.

things i'm learning about in school these days:

- phonetic transcription aend haw pIki It kaen bi

- how buddhism sprang up out of renunciation

- how lego makes marxism fun

- that monkeys pick mates for the same reasons we do - sometimes they get stuck in messy situations too.

- infants and emotional attachment how it works (thinking ov you tomo)

my life ( Read more... )

reading week has turned into a poignantly beneficial reminder of what my life is like without stimulation... i've stayed up till 4 sort of by accident every night, set my alarm for every morning but kept hitting it - 10 more minutes, 10 more minutes, 10 more minutes, turns into sleeping/lazing for another 3 or 4 hours. i tend to file potential ( Read more... )

every unexpected good grade is a reminder of my extreme accommodation skills and a "push harder, mama." squeezing this shit out with stylish disposition.

monday morning exam - i've not done very well, pretty sure. only just starting to experience the world of pain of five classes. no time, no money, nothings easy now. except reading. i feel like the font, format, paper texture, colors in a textbook pretty much determine how well i'll fare in any class. unfortunately most of the books right now are ( Read more... )

i feel much brighter than last time. tumbling in many flows.

i went to a hilarious show last night. i don't like to admit it but i still get a kick out of seeing my friends circle-jerking up there on stage. talent or feigning talent, most attractive thing ever. and lately it seems that everybody is so beautiful! the cold makes me want to get my ( Read more... )

i hope i disguise it well enough but somedays i feel at the whim of some REAL DEEP FURY i've buried and after long enough i start to doubt my capacity to make something better of myself. something inside me says call somebody but another thing in there says you're being abusive/dependent. i get a lot (too much) out of whining. fury might just = ( Read more... )

into this lj thing so far. online diaries are the bread & butter of the internet world to me. s'how i grew up with the world wide web. maybe not the bread & butter, as there are definitely more functional reasons for surfin, maybe more like fruit flan, de luxe.

starting to feel a little out of control again... funny how you can reign it all in & ( Read more... )