Ficlet: Poor Unfortunate Souls
I've been re-inspired by
peri81's Not Quite Pantsless. For there should be Hallowe'en costume party fic. There MUST!
---
"I'm going to kill you!"
Shrill. She actually sounded shrill. She was pretty sure she'd never been shrill before in her life. Then again, she'd never been about to be this publicly humiliated.
Well, okay, there was the naked laundry thing. That was really unspeakably humiliating. And the argument in the lobby. And the thing with the doors. And all the explosions, of course. But the point was - the point was - the point was...
The point was, she'd not been publicly humiliated this week, and it was a trend she was hoping to continue.
She should've known better. After all, it was Hallowe'en, and Vala was throwing a party.
Somehow - and Sam still wasn't sure of the details on this - it had been deemed better that Sam and Liz be the actual party hosts. Sam felt she'd been suckered into it, but by the time she realised, it was too late: she'd agreed. Vala had caught her at a bad moment. Mr. O'Neill and T had put on rollerblades and hockey gear, and were practicing for Hockey Deathmatch 07.
She'd been very, very distracted.
On foot, they were both quite heavy men - T because of his muscles and his sheer size, and O'Neill because he seemed to stomp around most of the time, his footsteps an emphatic expression of his character. But when they put on skates, they suddenly changed, both of them, and became, well... lithe. Vala had discovered their hockey practice timetable, God bless her, and had seen fit to benevolently share this with a select few. Teyla had worked out which was the most strategic window from which to watch, unseen. Sam had brought popcorn. Janet had brought binoculars.
But back to the homicide.
"There is no way! Not if you paid me! Not if you drugged me! Not if you paid me and drugged me, and blackmailed me!"
"Oh, come on," wheedled Vala. "It's not that bad."
Sam held the Hallowe'en costume - what there was of it - up, and glared.
"You'll look great. The guys will be falling over themselves."
Sam just glared.
"I did tell you about the hockey, after all."
Sam turned the glare up a notch.
"It's Cassie's favourite character, and I mentioned you might be going as her."
Ooh. Low blow. "Janet should wear it!" said Sam, with sudden inspiration. "She's got the right hair colour, for a start."
Vala held up a wig. "And Janet already has her costume," she shrugged. "Besides, she refused, and you know how stubborn she is."
"I'm stubborn too!" exclaimed Sam, hearing herself get even more shrill.
Vala tipped her head. "No," she said, thoughtfully, "you're not. You're..." she paused, considering. "You've got a wicked streak that wants to come out," she said, finally. "Just imagine the effect that's going to have on him. It's lucky we'll have a student doctor on hand."
It was official: Vala was the Antichrist.
---
To Be Continued...
peri81's Not Quite Pantsless. For there should be Hallowe'en costume party fic. There MUST!
---
"I'm going to kill you!"
Shrill. She actually sounded shrill. She was pretty sure she'd never been shrill before in her life. Then again, she'd never been about to be this publicly humiliated.
Well, okay, there was the naked laundry thing. That was really unspeakably humiliating. And the argument in the lobby. And the thing with the doors. And all the explosions, of course. But the point was - the point was - the point was...
The point was, she'd not been publicly humiliated this week, and it was a trend she was hoping to continue.
She should've known better. After all, it was Hallowe'en, and Vala was throwing a party.
Somehow - and Sam still wasn't sure of the details on this - it had been deemed better that Sam and Liz be the actual party hosts. Sam felt she'd been suckered into it, but by the time she realised, it was too late: she'd agreed. Vala had caught her at a bad moment. Mr. O'Neill and T had put on rollerblades and hockey gear, and were practicing for Hockey Deathmatch 07.
She'd been very, very distracted.
On foot, they were both quite heavy men - T because of his muscles and his sheer size, and O'Neill because he seemed to stomp around most of the time, his footsteps an emphatic expression of his character. But when they put on skates, they suddenly changed, both of them, and became, well... lithe. Vala had discovered their hockey practice timetable, God bless her, and had seen fit to benevolently share this with a select few. Teyla had worked out which was the most strategic window from which to watch, unseen. Sam had brought popcorn. Janet had brought binoculars.
But back to the homicide.
"There is no way! Not if you paid me! Not if you drugged me! Not if you paid me and drugged me, and blackmailed me!"
"Oh, come on," wheedled Vala. "It's not that bad."
Sam held the Hallowe'en costume - what there was of it - up, and glared.
"You'll look great. The guys will be falling over themselves."
Sam just glared.
"I did tell you about the hockey, after all."
Sam turned the glare up a notch.
"It's Cassie's favourite character, and I mentioned you might be going as her."
Ooh. Low blow. "Janet should wear it!" said Sam, with sudden inspiration. "She's got the right hair colour, for a start."
Vala held up a wig. "And Janet already has her costume," she shrugged. "Besides, she refused, and you know how stubborn she is."
"I'm stubborn too!" exclaimed Sam, hearing herself get even more shrill.
Vala tipped her head. "No," she said, thoughtfully, "you're not. You're..." she paused, considering. "You've got a wicked streak that wants to come out," she said, finally. "Just imagine the effect that's going to have on him. It's lucky we'll have a student doctor on hand."
It was official: Vala was the Antichrist.
---
To Be Continued...