No, really ( Read more... )

If I could see you I could strum you, I could break you, make you sing.

Well, I feel like I overcame something today. I auditioned for my first musical at AHS (The Wedding Singer, lolz). It was the first time I've ever really been nervous for an audition or being on stage in front of people, and it was certainly the first time I ever felt physically sick because of it. I know my voice was shaky and I know I could've ( Read more... )

Senior year, kids. Ready?
Me neither.

Summer was:
--way too short
--way too jobless
--ignoring people who, a year ago, I spent all my time with
--enjoying being grounded because it meant I didn't have to make up excuses to not do things
--realizing how much I hate people whispering in my ear
--learning that a boyfriend is just out of the question
--still ( Read more... )

I 'm okay.

I realize I probably don't have much reason for it, but I'm feeling more and more like it's me versus everyone else. Of course I have my friends but they tend to turn into enemies after a while so I almost don't even want to bother. I sometimes really do think everything would be easier if I just stopped talking to everyone. Like really, everyone. ( Read more... )

So, it's now beyond me needing to pay attention to things, and more like people need to stop believing everything they hear from people who don't know what they're talking about. Sincerely, all of my friends are sucking really hard right now except for like 4 of them. I never expected anything like this to happen but it is and I don't know how to ( Read more... )

I've have a weird couple of weeks I think. I don't even know. Days, weeks, months, they're all kind of the same. I've been doing my best not to feel anything and I've been doing an alright job, but I had a wake up call today that kind of made me realize I need to pay more attention to everything. Everything, everyone. Everywhere. Everywhathow ( Read more... )

So, today I read Freakshow, by James St. James (the guy who wrote one of my favorite bookmovies all time, Party Monster/Disco Bloodbath. It was really really good, and I think I'm going to spend the rest of the night being sad about the world.

I only say that because I think it's a book everyone everywhere should read.

Just sayin.

Lately, learning about physics and time and size I'm obsessed with the idea that we only have this tiny sliver of awareness. We see a tiny sliver of the light spectrum. We hear a tiny sliver of all the sounds. And our brains whittle down what little we do intake to less and less and less so it makes some kind of sense to us. And we only have a tiny ( Read more... )