001 // it's a hard knock life

[ironicjournal]

[ Phone: ]

Sup. First order of business, everyone calm the fuck down and let the professionals handle this. You know, the guys who've actually spent time preparing for a zombie apocalypse. I'm so in my element right now I'm crossing over into all the other ones, shit's just crazy.

And since I worked at a Best Buy for a week back in the day [ is

Comments

[supersizedpower]

...Okay, that was a good presentation, but if you want to sway me, we're going to have to make some changes.

[ironicjournal]

Man, but I already set up a posterboard and everything. Have to be some worthwhile changes to get me to mess around with this sonuvabitch again.

[supersizedpower]

No offense, but you don't really know how to negotiate, huh?

I'm saying I'll totally join your team, so you should listen! If I join, though, I need to at least be co-leader. You can still be back up leader though because your plan was good. Also, we need a better team name, 'cause yours sucks.

[ironicjournal]

Bro. Of course it sucks. I coulda called it Team Shotgun-Buzzsaw or Fuckslayer, but then it's not ironic to get your head chopped off by a member. Gotta work on your logic.

And hey, the point of co-leading isn't to poach my team.

[Action]

[toothsnort]

[Sup Bro. There's a pretty wiry, stupid looking guy wandering the streets with a golf club he found in his house. It's no bat, but it'd do.

Rittz got the call earlier that he was supposed to work at the bar today. He'd never really held a job, not really, but come hell or high water he was going to make a good first impression. He's even dressed at the moment in the stupid little bartender suit he's supposed to wear. Granted, it's caked in gore along with the golf club he's found, as he's ended up braining the ever living hell out of any of the zombies that got in his way.

Which is how he finds Bro. Dressed for his job and covered in blood and zombie guts. He's trying to run like hell since the sooner he gets to the stupid job, the better, and he can hopefully you know, defend himself better there. Even Rittz understands that.

But still, when he sees another normal looking person, he stops to give a friendly wave. Cause that's just polite.]

Hey there!

These zombies, huh? Sure are something. Jesus.

[Action]

[ironicjournal]

These babies are prime examples of something alright. [ Boom, rake to a head. Maybe he'll have to revise his view of small towns for this. ]

Man, and not even a news story to warn us.

Re: [Action]

[toothsnort]

I know! Today's supposed to be my first day at work, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be late!

[And then just taking a moment to brain another zombie with his golf club.]

Unless today is a holiday.

Do you think they'd count zombies as a national holiday?

[Action]

[ironicjournal]

Maybe not a holiday, bro. I think most places'll give breaks for national disasters, though.

Town-wide disasters are pretty much the same around here, right? [ Totally makes sense. ]

[ACTION; at home, early morning(?) or smth]

[bleuflag]

[That feeling you get when you look out your bedroom window in the morning and street is covered with ZOMBIES]

[AND PIECES OF ZOMBIES]

[BOLTS OUT OF BEDROOM, LEAPING DOWN THE STAIRCASE WITH A MIGHTY THUD, FLAG IN HAND]

WHAT. THE HELL. IS GOING ON!?

[ACTION; sounds fine to me :|b]

[ironicjournal]

[ Hot damn, heroic entrance all up in here.

Annnd continuing making a nice head shot with the duller end of this rake, first things first. ]

Morning sunshine. Zombies came into town.

[ACTION; badass family teamup whooo]

[bleuflag]

Zombies?

[just. what.]

[At least they weren't Vizuel this time. Sin rams the butt of his flag through the skull of a zombie shambling through the front door seriously who left that open was it you Strider]

...I really hate this place.

[ACTION; awwww yeahhhh]

[ironicjournal]

[ Well they weren't gonna get in to fight otherwise and he had to hang around the phone for a while! See how happy these zombies are to see us, kid?

So happy that we have to tear their rotting shoulders out of socket with rakes. ]

Dunno, I think it's startin' to grow on me.

[action]

[ironicjournal]

[ And even the kid has his sword already, damn. But he will not let this get him down, no sir. Have a brief thumbs up. ]

Mid-Morning of the Living Dead, bro. One more option for survival.

[action]

[ironicjournal]

Best customer service the store ever had. Set up so many fucking computers it was unheard of. [ God not the truth at all. If he ever actually worked there, he was out so fast. So fast.

And shoving some rake prongs through a zombie's neck now. Twist and snap, twist and snap. ]

( phone )

[pokeay]

[ that entire metaphor just went over his head and straight into next week. ]

What's a Best Buy? ... And if you want, I could make lunches... I guess?

( phone )

[ironicjournal]

It's a store, man. But I guess you're all out of the pop culture loop and shit. It's avoidin' you like a crazy ex-girlfriend right now, all crouched behind a bush waiting for you to finish walking by.

( phone )

[pokeay]

I've never had an ex-girlfriend. Or a girlfriend, either. So... I guess it is...?

( phone )

[ironicjournal]

Nothin' wrong with holding off the ladies and gents, preferable if you got a bat to beat 'em back with.

Just trust me, brosis. Uncle Strider never led no one astray.