[Dear Samus: I hope you like utterly inedible vaguely foodlike lumps of smoking carbon, because Ionia made you one in honor of your birthday. At least the icing looks like it should taste fine. Even if it's got waaay too much food coloring. And looks kind of... gritty. Ionia couldn't find any icing sugar so she used the regular kind. She didn't
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HOWEVER. It is awfully hard to pull a fast one on Grandma but she feels like playing along today. HOW HARMLESS COULD IT BE? And then the whole school found out her birthday and she cried the end.]
...Alright, okay. I'll swing by in a little bit.
[Probably anywhere from half an hour to an hour later]
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Wait! Did you say Samus was your grandma?
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