Currently trying some sites. Sent out lots of mail, and get almost no responses. I sent 25 'winks' at one site, got 1 back. Another I've sent out 50+ messages, and have talked to 4 people, met 1 (and that failed horriably)
One thing though... I didn't always repond to people who put everything in lower case, used horrible grammar/spelling, or seemed to be sending me a chain letter that they sent to 100 other people.
I think the "winks" thing never works. I think one really does have to pay for the sites. Back in my single days I managed to use a free trial at veggiedate.com and planetout.com (same-sex relationships) but they're cracking down on that. A friend of mine had great luck with yahoo and another with match.com.
Usually I had to e-mail about 8-10 people to want to meet one, and meet 3-6 to find one I wanted a relationship with. That sounds like very little but I was very picky about the people I met in person or even who I e-mailed...
I've actually resorted to MySpace. Jesus H. Fuck, people are depressingly vapid and retarded.
I've had luck with the couple of people I've contacted, but I pissed off some guy after he messaged me and I told him I gave his English a B-. Hey, harsh but honest.
I've met a ton of people through Yahoo and other online places, and all but a few were hardly worth the free coffee I got out of meeting them.
Ditto on the first. Course, I have no idea what my husband's MBTI is. Definitely IxxJ. Probably ISTJ.
I agree on the second too. Speed dating does nothing for an introvert, and as far as I've ever been able to tell, the only people INTJs make an immediate splash with are other INTJs.
Being INTJ in the first place, I don't have a whole heck of a lot of friends to start with. Now, I am getting divorced, and those few friends that I once had are quietly vanishing into the night, leaving me coping (ill-prepared by nature) with a whole bunch of emotional garbage. It sucks to be alone, it is depressing to be single in a couple world, and how the hell do you find groups of people to hang out with, when by nature the social groups I hang out with include mostly people who are already going out with each other or are friends with my future ex?
I'm 36, and the world grows more unkind of middle aged women with every passing day. Feh, you have my sympethy. However one spells it.
Atleast you have had one 'relationship'. I haven't lasted with a boyfriend more then 3 months. (sigh) I get sick of taking care of them, and get rid of them.
I had my first girlfriend at 30, and that relationship did not last two months. Of course, I had spent little time looking and I still wasn't. I have a wondeful relationship since last October now. In retrospect, I probably seemed not available to many people in the past and I did not respond very favorably to people who might be interested in general. FWIW.
I would wager that eventually you will meet someone who requires very little caretaking. I'm like that; my mother, an ISTJ, shares this trait with me. We're very independent and enjoy taking care of our own stuff and helping others, and get irritated when other people try to do too many things for us. I'm sure we're not the only two people in the world who work this way.
If my single friends were local. They have moved away or married. OR they are broke and can't hang out unless I pay for everything, and even that doesn't work some times.
A very quick story: In January 2005 I was 30 and single, and sick and tired of it. I put up yet another profile on Match.com. This time, I decided that I was going to just be myself. Trite, I know, but hey. I said that I was a geek. I said that I was an INTJ. I said that I enjoyed karate and Dungeons & Dragons. Since, you know, if that scared off guys, I didn't want to meet them anyway.
In February 2005 a guy emailed me.
In April 2006 he proposed. Things are going rather well.
Want to know how he found me? He did a search on Match for "INTJ." He'd read that INTJ's, unlike other types, get along best with their own type...since we have such weird thought processes that very few people understand us. There aren't a lot of us, but you may want to keep that in mind when looking for potential partners.
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have you tried internet dating? Works wonders.
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One thing though... I didn't always repond to people who put everything in lower case, used horrible grammar/spelling, or seemed to be sending me a chain letter that they sent to 100 other people.
I think the "winks" thing never works. I think one really does have to pay for the sites. Back in my single days I managed to use a free trial at veggiedate.com and planetout.com (same-sex relationships) but they're cracking down on that. A friend of mine had great luck with yahoo and another with match.com.
Usually I had to e-mail about 8-10 people to want to meet one, and meet 3-6 to find one I wanted a relationship with. That sounds like very little but I was very picky about the people I met in person or even who I e-mailed...
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I've had luck with the couple of people I've contacted, but I pissed off some guy after he messaged me and I told him I gave his English a B-. Hey, harsh but honest.
I've met a ton of people through Yahoo and other online places, and all but a few were hardly worth the free coffee I got out of meeting them.
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*shrug* Worked for me.
> I hate this "You aren't putting yourself out there!" crap!
I completely agree that's utter crap. Those who don't smell the desperation and run far away seem highly unlikely to be worth an INTJ's time.
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Definitely IxxJ. Probably ISTJ.
I agree on the second too. Speed dating does nothing for an introvert, and as far as I've ever been able to tell, the only people INTJs make an immediate splash with are other INTJs.
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Now, I am getting divorced, and those few friends that I once had are quietly vanishing into the night, leaving me coping (ill-prepared by nature) with a whole bunch of emotional garbage. It sucks to be alone, it is depressing to be single in a couple world, and how the hell do you find groups of people to hang out with, when by nature the social groups I hang out with include mostly people who are already going out with each other or are friends with my future ex?
I'm 36, and the world grows more unkind of middle aged women with every passing day. Feh, you have my sympethy. However one spells it.
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I agree with the commenter who suggested spending more quality time with single friends instead of married ones.
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In February 2005 a guy emailed me.
In April 2006 he proposed. Things are going rather well.
Want to know how he found me? He did a search on Match for "INTJ." He'd read that INTJ's, unlike other types, get along best with their own type...since we have such weird thought processes that very few people understand us. There aren't a lot of us, but you may want to keep that in mind when looking for potential partners.
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Congratulations!
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