Libby and I were talking about handbags the other day and I was her I needed to pare down what I keep in my purse because I keep *everything* in there: advil, allergy pills, kleenex, pens, paper, a maxi pad (though I haven't had a uterus for 6 years), etc. And she says "keep an emergency bag with all that stuff in the trunk maybe but you don't need ( Read more... )

There is too much coming at me. I got hit HARD with depression a couple weeks ago and felt like I'd been clawing my way out until a few days ago. More black men dead. A surprising amount of #alllivesmatter BS from people I know. My heart hurts, I'm just f*cking broken. Then I get word yesterday that a friend of ours got beaten up by her boyfriend. ( Read more... )

I got my disability review paperwork in the mail a couple weeks ago. I've been staring at it like it's trying to kill me since then. I kind of feel like it *is* trying to kill me. It's a totally routine thing, everyone who gets disability benefits is on a review cycle. Alice says it's a 3, 5, or 7 year cycle (I think) and I could have sworn I have ( Read more... )

I've been forgetting my pills like...a lot. My Rupus meds anyway, I try to be a bit more diligent with my depression/anxiety stuff. I have this massive "days of the week" pill holder and usually Sundays I sit and fill it for the week with alllllll the crap I've gotta take but lately I don't know, I feel...disillusioned maybe? My mental state has ( Read more... )

I've been helping Uncle Jim with his website and he actually gave in and made a facebook page (I am his only friend, but this way he can monitor and interact on his artwork page). He calls me at least once or twice a week and I have to spend like 30 minutes walking him through something. It's really kind of adorable, but I've been so damn exhausted ( Read more... )

A week or so ago I totally borked my hip. I can't really think of a better term. I was half asleep and getting back into bed and just...rolled funny? I heard my ankle snap, then my knee, then my hip. Since I sound like rice krispies anyway I didn't think anything of it until I laid down and realized my hip really hurt. I woke up the next day and ( Read more... )

Two different people cut in front of me at the deli today, one old dude very obviously. Like he was trying to gague if I would raise a stink. And normally I would have said "excuse me, I was here before you" but I've had a weird headache for like 10 days and my Lupus has decided it would be an awesome time to flare up so I didn't want to open my ( Read more... )

Med change. AGAIN. I just can't with this anymore. I almost just want to say "I felt OK on drugs A, B, & F. Let's just go back to that and ride it out" But regardless of how I'm feeling, there is the underlying joint damage to consider and I think preventing it is her driving force and I understand that. So now instead of infusions I'm doing twice ( Read more... )

Spent the weekend agonizing over a friend who I knew damn well was suicidal (he admitted as much) but he's in California so it's not as though I could hold his hand through it. Then he makes a very odd facebook post and disappears. I made sure he had my cell number and slept with my phone two inches from my head. Turns out he's living in his bus ( Read more... )

The whole medication debacle has been taken care of, thank God. I'm wondering if I should have done more of a transition back to the good stuff because WHOA. Things have been a little bumpy. The little monster that lives inside managed to get its little talons in me yesterday. Chest hurt, blood ran cold, the whole nine. I managed to focus and get ( Read more... )