Silver Lining [7.5/7.5]
Title: Silver Lining
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn, mentions of past Rachel/Finn
Rating: PG-13 for angst, depression, more angst, and just general unhappiness
Length: ~2,323/~9,354
Author's Note: See Chapter 1's author's notes & summary for more details.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Original Chapter 7
If you hated the last chapter then erase it from your mind and read this instead.
-Alternate Ending-
Rachel started the new course of chemotherapy immediately. Even though it tore her down she was still optimistic. Quinn’s graduation was bittersweet because Rachel wasn’t there but Quinn could now focus on Rachel. She made sure that someone got a video of the graduation and she showed it to Rachel later that day. Quinn's parents strongly suggested that she move out. Quinn knew it was coming and Rachel’s dads insisted she move in with them because of everything she’d done for Rachel. Quinn didn’t argue at all. She got a job at the hospital on the cleaning staff. Thanks to countless hours spent with the second Mrs. Schuester cleaning and sanitizing the Berry house from the last time Rachel was hospitalized, Quinn knew the best and quickest way to clean everything while still being efficient which meant she got more breaks and could spend more time with Rachel.
It took a few weeks but when Dr. Ali came into her hospital room smiling and holding Rachel’s chart she knew something had to be good. Quinn sat up and listened attentively.
“Latest blood work shows a slight improvement,” the doctor said. “We’ll keep going and hopefully in the next two weeks we’ll be able to say you’re in remission again and do another marrow transplant.”
Quinn smiled and Rachel’s dads both thanked the doctor. Quinn leaned over and kissed her girlfriend.
“New York here we come,” Rachel murmured. Quinn kissed her again.
Quinn hadn’t been to church since her sophomore year but when the doctor said there was improvement she thought perhaps it was time to pay a visit. While Rachel slept off the latest dose of chemotherapy Quinn drove across town to the church she had attended for sixteen years of her life. She sat down in the pew in the front row and looked up at the altar.
“Can I help you, miss?” the preacher asked, sitting next to her.
He wasn’t the same man Quinn had listened to for years and for that she was grateful because that meant he didn't know who she was and therefore didn't know who her parents were.
“I came here to thank Him,” Quinn said.
“That’s a good reason to come. What has our good Lord done for you?”
“The love of my life has cancer,” Quinn said. “But we were told that it’s in remission. I…I’m really trying hard not to be too optimistic about it because this is the second time it’s gone into remission. There was a relapse earlier but I’m hoping that maybe He’ll let her get better this time.” Quinn turned slightly red at dropping the fact that it was a girl she was dating. It felt slightly awkward but it was dashed when the preacher spoke again.
“She’s very lucky to have someone that loves her and that loves God as well.”
“You’re not going to damn me to Hell for being in love with a girl?”
The preacher chuckled. “Of course not. The way I see it, Jesus preached love. Love thy neighbor, love thy self. In this world filled with hate and war I think He would be happy to see a little more love in the world.”
“I just hope it’s enough to make her better.”
“The Lord has a plan, there’s not much you can do about it but believe that everything is for the best.”
“Why her, though? Why does she have to go through all of this? I’ve searched for a silver lining in all of this but I can’t find it.”
“How has your relationship faired with her through it? From personal experience I can say that illness has a way of bringing people together.”
“We…we weren’t together when she got sick. I had feelings for her before that though, for a really long time. I guess I just never had the courage to tell her. Then when I thought I might lose her…” Quinn stopped and looked up at the preacher. He was smiling.
“If she hadn’t gotten sick then you wouldn’t have had the courage to tell her of your feelings.”
“Yeah.”
“I believe you’ve found your silver lining.”
Quinn smiled and stood. “Thank you,” she said. “Thank you so much.”
“I will pray for you,” the preacher said. “The both of you.”
Quinn ran out of the church and went back to the hospital. Rachel was awake and sitting up in bed when Quinn skipped into the room.
“Someone’s in a happy mood,” Rachel said.
“I went to church.” Quinn took her place on the bed next to Rachel and held her hand. She recalled the conversation with the preacher and Rachel only smiled.
“You know, I could’ve told you that,” Rachel said. “I knew the day you told me you loved me. Why do you think I never asked you again why this had to happen to me, hm?”
Quinn smiled and kissed her girlfriend. “I do love you.”
“And I love you.”
-*-*-*-*-*-
Quinn kissed Rachel’s forehead and smiled.
“See you in a few hours,” she said.
“Have fun,” Rachel giggled.
“You know, I just had a thought.”
“Did it hurt?”
Quinn stuck her tongue out and Rachel giggled again. “My thought was, and you have just proven it, you are literally a pain in my ass.”
“But you love me!”
“Of course I do. I’ll see you later.”
Quinn was back in Rachel’s room a few hours later, sore hip, still slightly drowsy, and with a smile.
“Second time’s a charm,” she said. She hoisted herself up on the bed and the pair lay together, fingers laced.
“It had better be. I won't be able to take the one in June but the next GED test after that is in August and if I miss it I’m going to be pissed. And I’ll blame you for your marrow only half-assing the job again.”
“Pffft, it’s not my fault that you’re so stubborn.”
“I’m pretty sure that since my cells can kick your cells’ asses that I should win every argument we ever have. It’s only logical.”
“You can win every argument as long as it ends like this…” Quinn turned her head and cupped Rachel’s jaw with her free hand and pulled her in for a kiss. She tasted spearmint when she got a taste of Rachel’s mouth with her tongue.
A throat clearing from the door broke them out of the kiss and they both turned their attention to the doctor who was smiling.
“I thought I’d find you here, Quinn.”
“Where else would I be?”
“In recovery where you’re supposed to be.”
“Quinn!” Rachel squealed.
“I only came up to visit! You should be yelling at the orderly that brought me.” Quinn grinned. “It's not like I left the hospital.”
“Yes well you need to get back downstairs before your doctor goes crazy. You need to stay in observation for a while. Your blood pressure dropped during the procedure and they want to keep an eye on you.”
“I feel fine.”
“Just a few more hours, okay? I’m sure it’s nothing but believe it or not the rules apply to you, too.”
Quinn sighed and kissed Rachel again. “Keep your phone nearby, I’ll call you,” she said with a smile. Rachel nodded and playfully smacked her arm.
“You’re insane, Quinn.”
“You love me for it.”
Quinn hopped out of the bed and back into her wheelchair. Dr. Ali called an orderly and Quinn was taken back down to recovery. She heard Rachel’s giggles all the way down the hall.
Rachel came home again on the Fourth of July. The next weekend they had a barbeque with all of the glee kids and the Schuesters who announced that they were expecting a child. Everyone was excited to hear the news that Rachel was once again considered in remission and her results were looking better this time than they had the last. Everyone talked about their plans for college and Quinn made sure to let everyone know that as soon as Rachel was able that the two of them were going to New York City. They promised tickets to everyone to their Broadway debut.
On the first of August, Rachel and Quinn counted down the seconds on the machine for Rachel’s last dose of intensive chemotherapy. Quinn kissed her and Rachel smiled.
“It’s not the end,” Rachel murmured later that night. “I still have two years of maintenance chemo.” She was curled into Quinn’s front and the blonde had her arms wrapped around her girlfriend.
“I know.”
“I could relapse again.”
“I know.”
“I fully understand if you can’t handle…”
Quinn slipped her fingers under Rachel’s chin and tilted the girl’s head up. “I love you and I will handle whatever I have to.”
“Okay. But maintenance chemo isn’t going to be easy, either.”
“It’ll be a walk in the park compared to what we’ve already been through.”
“I hope so.”
-*-*-*-*-*-
To no one’s shock, Rachel took and passed her GED test. The chemotherapy was still making her tired but she still felt well enough to enroll with Quinn to the Lima campus at OSU in January. They took all of the same classes so Quinn could make sure to get notes to Rachel on days when she couldn’t make it to class. Rachel’s blood counts remained the same and they celebrated matching 4.0 grade point averages at the end of the semester.
On September eighth Rachel was sleeping off her latest dose. Her fathers were in the living room watching the news and Quinn was nervously pacing the floor at the foot of her and Rachel’s bed while Rachel slept. When she finally collected her thoughts she slipped out of the room and to the living room.
“How’s Sleeping Beauty?” Rachel’s Dad asked.
“Still sleeping.” Quinn sat in one of the armchairs and never felt more uncomfortable in her life. “Can I talk to you guys about something?”
Rachel’s dads looked away from the TV. Quinn wasn’t sure which one it was but someone turned off the box and they turned to face her.
“What is it, sweetie?” Rachel’s Daddy asked.
“I…I love Rachel.”
“Yes, we’re aware of that.”
“Like…I love her a lot.”
“We understand.”
“I…I want to marry her.”
The room was silent. Quinn dug in her pocket and produced a small box and handed it to Rachel’s Dad. When he opened it he gasped, as did his husband.
“It’s both of our birthstones with a diamond on each side,” Quinn said. “But I won’t give it to her without your permission.”
“Yes!” they both half-yelled. They immediately quieted and looked towards the door that led to Rachel’s bedroom. When it was still quiet they all stood and both men hugged Quinn tight.
Quinn took the ring out of the box and held tight in her fist. She crawled into bed with Rachel and held her until the smaller girl’s eyes fluttered open.
“Don’t you have better things to do rather than lay here and watch me sleep, stalker?” Rachel grinned.
“I can’t help it. It’s so rare that you’re quiet, I like to soak up the silence while I can.”
Rachel stuck her tongue out and Quinn nipped at it.
“I need your opinion on something,” Quinn said.
“Okay…”
“You see, there’s this girl that I’m head over heels in love with. The problem is, she’s really picky about what she wears.”
“Go on.”
“Do you think she’d like this?” Quinn opened her hand to reveal the silver ring with four stones set into the band. Rachel sat bolt upright and Quinn followed.
“I…I think she’d…love it.”
“Good to know.” Quinn closed her hand around the ring and Rachel grabbed her wrist. Quinn smiled. “Do you really love it?”
Rachel nodded. “Yes.”
“You can only wear it if you agree to one condition.”
“Anything.”
“Will you marry me?”
-*-*-*-*-*-
Quinn stepped onto the platform of the train station and looked around. She ascended the staircase with her backpack and walked through the train station. When she was finally outside she took a deep breath. The air was heavy and thick with smog and she hailed a cab. When she got to her destination she simply stood and looked up. She was in the middle of Times Square, surrounded by billboards and marquees.
She spotted the long curly brunette locks she was searching for and ran up to the woman.
“I’m here, baby,” Quinn whispered into the woman’s ear. “Happy anniversary.”
Rachel turned around and smiled. She pulled Quinn into a kiss and then excitedly pointed upwards to the large billboard. The text they read was huge: “Broadway revival of Wicked! Starring Rachel Berry as Elphaba!”
“We’re here,” Rachel said. “We’re here and we made it.”
Quinn pulled a bag out of her backpack. A handful of gold stars. She and Rachel each took some and tossed them in the air. The wind picked up and the stars swirled around them.
Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel’s waist from behind as they watched the gold stars fly down the street with the wind. Rachel tilted her head back and smiled.
“Here’s to eight years cured,” Rachel whispered.
“And six years married.”
“And your debut as a Broadway choreographer.”
“I'm pretty sure I only got the job because I'm sleeping with the star.”
Quinn leaned down and kissed her wife. Rachel smiled.
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn, mentions of past Rachel/Finn
Rating: PG-13 for angst, depression, more angst, and just general unhappiness
Length: ~2,323/~9,354
Author's Note: See Chapter 1's author's notes & summary for more details.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Original Chapter 7
If you hated the last chapter then erase it from your mind and read this instead.
-Alternate Ending-
Rachel started the new course of chemotherapy immediately. Even though it tore her down she was still optimistic. Quinn’s graduation was bittersweet because Rachel wasn’t there but Quinn could now focus on Rachel. She made sure that someone got a video of the graduation and she showed it to Rachel later that day. Quinn's parents strongly suggested that she move out. Quinn knew it was coming and Rachel’s dads insisted she move in with them because of everything she’d done for Rachel. Quinn didn’t argue at all. She got a job at the hospital on the cleaning staff. Thanks to countless hours spent with the second Mrs. Schuester cleaning and sanitizing the Berry house from the last time Rachel was hospitalized, Quinn knew the best and quickest way to clean everything while still being efficient which meant she got more breaks and could spend more time with Rachel.
It took a few weeks but when Dr. Ali came into her hospital room smiling and holding Rachel’s chart she knew something had to be good. Quinn sat up and listened attentively.
“Latest blood work shows a slight improvement,” the doctor said. “We’ll keep going and hopefully in the next two weeks we’ll be able to say you’re in remission again and do another marrow transplant.”
Quinn smiled and Rachel’s dads both thanked the doctor. Quinn leaned over and kissed her girlfriend.
“New York here we come,” Rachel murmured. Quinn kissed her again.
Quinn hadn’t been to church since her sophomore year but when the doctor said there was improvement she thought perhaps it was time to pay a visit. While Rachel slept off the latest dose of chemotherapy Quinn drove across town to the church she had attended for sixteen years of her life. She sat down in the pew in the front row and looked up at the altar.
“Can I help you, miss?” the preacher asked, sitting next to her.
He wasn’t the same man Quinn had listened to for years and for that she was grateful because that meant he didn't know who she was and therefore didn't know who her parents were.
“I came here to thank Him,” Quinn said.
“That’s a good reason to come. What has our good Lord done for you?”
“The love of my life has cancer,” Quinn said. “But we were told that it’s in remission. I…I’m really trying hard not to be too optimistic about it because this is the second time it’s gone into remission. There was a relapse earlier but I’m hoping that maybe He’ll let her get better this time.” Quinn turned slightly red at dropping the fact that it was a girl she was dating. It felt slightly awkward but it was dashed when the preacher spoke again.
“She’s very lucky to have someone that loves her and that loves God as well.”
“You’re not going to damn me to Hell for being in love with a girl?”
The preacher chuckled. “Of course not. The way I see it, Jesus preached love. Love thy neighbor, love thy self. In this world filled with hate and war I think He would be happy to see a little more love in the world.”
“I just hope it’s enough to make her better.”
“The Lord has a plan, there’s not much you can do about it but believe that everything is for the best.”
“Why her, though? Why does she have to go through all of this? I’ve searched for a silver lining in all of this but I can’t find it.”
“How has your relationship faired with her through it? From personal experience I can say that illness has a way of bringing people together.”
“We…we weren’t together when she got sick. I had feelings for her before that though, for a really long time. I guess I just never had the courage to tell her. Then when I thought I might lose her…” Quinn stopped and looked up at the preacher. He was smiling.
“If she hadn’t gotten sick then you wouldn’t have had the courage to tell her of your feelings.”
“Yeah.”
“I believe you’ve found your silver lining.”
Quinn smiled and stood. “Thank you,” she said. “Thank you so much.”
“I will pray for you,” the preacher said. “The both of you.”
Quinn ran out of the church and went back to the hospital. Rachel was awake and sitting up in bed when Quinn skipped into the room.
“Someone’s in a happy mood,” Rachel said.
“I went to church.” Quinn took her place on the bed next to Rachel and held her hand. She recalled the conversation with the preacher and Rachel only smiled.
“You know, I could’ve told you that,” Rachel said. “I knew the day you told me you loved me. Why do you think I never asked you again why this had to happen to me, hm?”
Quinn smiled and kissed her girlfriend. “I do love you.”
“And I love you.”
-*-*-*-*-*-
Quinn kissed Rachel’s forehead and smiled.
“See you in a few hours,” she said.
“Have fun,” Rachel giggled.
“You know, I just had a thought.”
“Did it hurt?”
Quinn stuck her tongue out and Rachel giggled again. “My thought was, and you have just proven it, you are literally a pain in my ass.”
“But you love me!”
“Of course I do. I’ll see you later.”
Quinn was back in Rachel’s room a few hours later, sore hip, still slightly drowsy, and with a smile.
“Second time’s a charm,” she said. She hoisted herself up on the bed and the pair lay together, fingers laced.
“It had better be. I won't be able to take the one in June but the next GED test after that is in August and if I miss it I’m going to be pissed. And I’ll blame you for your marrow only half-assing the job again.”
“Pffft, it’s not my fault that you’re so stubborn.”
“I’m pretty sure that since my cells can kick your cells’ asses that I should win every argument we ever have. It’s only logical.”
“You can win every argument as long as it ends like this…” Quinn turned her head and cupped Rachel’s jaw with her free hand and pulled her in for a kiss. She tasted spearmint when she got a taste of Rachel’s mouth with her tongue.
A throat clearing from the door broke them out of the kiss and they both turned their attention to the doctor who was smiling.
“I thought I’d find you here, Quinn.”
“Where else would I be?”
“In recovery where you’re supposed to be.”
“Quinn!” Rachel squealed.
“I only came up to visit! You should be yelling at the orderly that brought me.” Quinn grinned. “It's not like I left the hospital.”
“Yes well you need to get back downstairs before your doctor goes crazy. You need to stay in observation for a while. Your blood pressure dropped during the procedure and they want to keep an eye on you.”
“I feel fine.”
“Just a few more hours, okay? I’m sure it’s nothing but believe it or not the rules apply to you, too.”
Quinn sighed and kissed Rachel again. “Keep your phone nearby, I’ll call you,” she said with a smile. Rachel nodded and playfully smacked her arm.
“You’re insane, Quinn.”
“You love me for it.”
Quinn hopped out of the bed and back into her wheelchair. Dr. Ali called an orderly and Quinn was taken back down to recovery. She heard Rachel’s giggles all the way down the hall.
Rachel came home again on the Fourth of July. The next weekend they had a barbeque with all of the glee kids and the Schuesters who announced that they were expecting a child. Everyone was excited to hear the news that Rachel was once again considered in remission and her results were looking better this time than they had the last. Everyone talked about their plans for college and Quinn made sure to let everyone know that as soon as Rachel was able that the two of them were going to New York City. They promised tickets to everyone to their Broadway debut.
On the first of August, Rachel and Quinn counted down the seconds on the machine for Rachel’s last dose of intensive chemotherapy. Quinn kissed her and Rachel smiled.
“It’s not the end,” Rachel murmured later that night. “I still have two years of maintenance chemo.” She was curled into Quinn’s front and the blonde had her arms wrapped around her girlfriend.
“I know.”
“I could relapse again.”
“I know.”
“I fully understand if you can’t handle…”
Quinn slipped her fingers under Rachel’s chin and tilted the girl’s head up. “I love you and I will handle whatever I have to.”
“Okay. But maintenance chemo isn’t going to be easy, either.”
“It’ll be a walk in the park compared to what we’ve already been through.”
“I hope so.”
-*-*-*-*-*-
To no one’s shock, Rachel took and passed her GED test. The chemotherapy was still making her tired but she still felt well enough to enroll with Quinn to the Lima campus at OSU in January. They took all of the same classes so Quinn could make sure to get notes to Rachel on days when she couldn’t make it to class. Rachel’s blood counts remained the same and they celebrated matching 4.0 grade point averages at the end of the semester.
On September eighth Rachel was sleeping off her latest dose. Her fathers were in the living room watching the news and Quinn was nervously pacing the floor at the foot of her and Rachel’s bed while Rachel slept. When she finally collected her thoughts she slipped out of the room and to the living room.
“How’s Sleeping Beauty?” Rachel’s Dad asked.
“Still sleeping.” Quinn sat in one of the armchairs and never felt more uncomfortable in her life. “Can I talk to you guys about something?”
Rachel’s dads looked away from the TV. Quinn wasn’t sure which one it was but someone turned off the box and they turned to face her.
“What is it, sweetie?” Rachel’s Daddy asked.
“I…I love Rachel.”
“Yes, we’re aware of that.”
“Like…I love her a lot.”
“We understand.”
“I…I want to marry her.”
The room was silent. Quinn dug in her pocket and produced a small box and handed it to Rachel’s Dad. When he opened it he gasped, as did his husband.
“It’s both of our birthstones with a diamond on each side,” Quinn said. “But I won’t give it to her without your permission.”
“Yes!” they both half-yelled. They immediately quieted and looked towards the door that led to Rachel’s bedroom. When it was still quiet they all stood and both men hugged Quinn tight.
Quinn took the ring out of the box and held tight in her fist. She crawled into bed with Rachel and held her until the smaller girl’s eyes fluttered open.
“Don’t you have better things to do rather than lay here and watch me sleep, stalker?” Rachel grinned.
“I can’t help it. It’s so rare that you’re quiet, I like to soak up the silence while I can.”
Rachel stuck her tongue out and Quinn nipped at it.
“I need your opinion on something,” Quinn said.
“Okay…”
“You see, there’s this girl that I’m head over heels in love with. The problem is, she’s really picky about what she wears.”
“Go on.”
“Do you think she’d like this?” Quinn opened her hand to reveal the silver ring with four stones set into the band. Rachel sat bolt upright and Quinn followed.
“I…I think she’d…love it.”
“Good to know.” Quinn closed her hand around the ring and Rachel grabbed her wrist. Quinn smiled. “Do you really love it?”
Rachel nodded. “Yes.”
“You can only wear it if you agree to one condition.”
“Anything.”
“Will you marry me?”
-*-*-*-*-*-
Quinn stepped onto the platform of the train station and looked around. She ascended the staircase with her backpack and walked through the train station. When she was finally outside she took a deep breath. The air was heavy and thick with smog and she hailed a cab. When she got to her destination she simply stood and looked up. She was in the middle of Times Square, surrounded by billboards and marquees.
She spotted the long curly brunette locks she was searching for and ran up to the woman.
“I’m here, baby,” Quinn whispered into the woman’s ear. “Happy anniversary.”
Rachel turned around and smiled. She pulled Quinn into a kiss and then excitedly pointed upwards to the large billboard. The text they read was huge: “Broadway revival of Wicked! Starring Rachel Berry as Elphaba!”
“We’re here,” Rachel said. “We’re here and we made it.”
Quinn pulled a bag out of her backpack. A handful of gold stars. She and Rachel each took some and tossed them in the air. The wind picked up and the stars swirled around them.
Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel’s waist from behind as they watched the gold stars fly down the street with the wind. Rachel tilted her head back and smiled.
“Here’s to eight years cured,” Rachel whispered.
“And six years married.”
“And your debut as a Broadway choreographer.”
“I'm pretty sure I only got the job because I'm sleeping with the star.”
Quinn leaned down and kissed her wife. Rachel smiled.