Silver Lining [4/7.5]
Title: Silver Lining
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn, mentions of past Rachel/Finn
Rating: PG-13 for angst, depression, more angst, and just general unhappiness
Length: ~1,060/~9,354
Author's Note: See Chapter 1's author's notes & summary for more details.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3
-Chapter 4-
Quinn showed up in the chemo room right at four-fifteen the next day. She said hello to the nurses then grabbed a chair and settled down next to Rachel. Quinn took Rachel's hand and gave it a squeeze. The girl in the recliner smiled.
“Good news,” Rachel said.
“You got cast in ‘Hair’?” Quinn teased.
Rachel stuck her tongue out at the girl and Quinn giggled.
“Phase two chemo starts next week.”
“What about the marrow transplant?”
“Daddy’s not a match and Dad’s anemic. They put me on the national register but apparently, even though it’s the second most popular blood type in the world, A positive is hard to come by. Even then, they have to match all of the other criteria. So we’re just going ahead with phase two and if they find something, I’ll get it. If not then we just keep going.”
“They just want only the best for you, that’s all,” Quinn said. She glanced up at the clock then to Rachel who started turning pale. Rachel’s Dad held the bucket and Quinn went to the cabinet where the washcloths were kept and retrieved one. She wet it down and returned to Rachel’s side.
“Like clockwork,” Rachel’s Dad said. “I could set my watch by you, sweetie.”
Quinn produced a stick of spearmint gum when Rachel finished and went to the sink and rinsed out the pink bucket while Rachel got situated again. Quinn returned with the bucket and took Rachel’s hand when she sat down.
“Blueberry poptarts again?” Quinn asked.
“Looks cool coming back up.”
“Get some rest.”
Rachel nodded. She reclined a little and held onto Quinn’s hand even tighter as she drifted in and out of sleep. Quinn stayed with her until the last drop was squeezed out of the bag of chemo hanging up. Quinn followed Rachel’s dad to their house and helped get her to bed.
On days when Rachel was at home Quinn started bringing in video of the glee club's practices for Rachel to look at and critique. She would take notes as Rachel pointed out different problems with pitch or dance steps that she noticed. Rachel’s Daddy pulled her aside and thanked her again, he said Rachel told him she felt like she was helping glee just as if she were there when she looked at the tapes.
-*-*-*-*-*-
The weeks seemed to drag on but fly by at the same time. It was getting colder, Rachel had to be wrapped and bundled in several layers for the short trip from the Berry house to the hospital for her appointments. The cold only seemed to weaken her even more but with Quinn’s encouragement she was attempting to regain her optimism. Quinn was overloading herself with vitamins and scrubbing extra hard before she dared go near Rachel because a string of colds was going around Lima. To everyone else it was an annoyance. To Rachel it could be fatal.
Despite Quinn’s positivity and Rachel’s attempt at optimism not every day was good. It was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving break and Quinn was met at the door of the Berry house by Rachel’s Dad, who looked exhausted.
“Mr. Berry…is everything okay? Why aren’t you at work?”
“Today’s been another rough one. Come on in. Hopefully you can talk to her.”
Quinn stepped inside and immediately headed to the bathroom. She stopped to hug Rachel's Daddy who was sitting on the couch with Rachel's plethora of prescription pill bottles spread out on the coffee table, sorting them into Rachel's pill box. When Quinn finished showering and stepped into Rachel’s room the girl was curled up on her side, back to the door. Quinn could hear her sniffling and sobbing.
“Rach?”
“G-go away!”
“Rachel, please. I just want to be here for you.” Quinn crossed the floor and sat on Rachel’s bed. She reached out and touched Rachel’s arm.
“Get away from me. Get out!”
“Rach…”
Rachel rolled over and sat up. She glared at Quinn and the blonde leaned back a little bit. “Did you not hear me, slut? Get out!”
“Tell me what’s wrong!”
“Are you blind? Look at me, Quinn! I’m fucking hideous!” Rachel dropped back down to the bed and lay on her back.
“You’re beautiful,” Quinn whispered.
Rachel looked up at Quinn, absolutely certain she’d misheard.
“Rachel you are so beautiful…”
“H-how can you s-say that? Look at me!” Rachel sat up again and pulled the collar of her shirt down, the tubes from her chest port dangling out. “My hair…” she touched the bare skin where thick brunette locks were once rooted. “How can you say that to me, Quinn? I’m a fucking walking skeleton…”
“You’re the most beautiful person I know.” Quinn reached forward and her fingertips touched Rachel’s chest, right over her heart.
“Don’t,” Rachel pushed her hand away. “Don’t do this to me.”
“Why? Why, Rachel?”
“Because I’m ugly and you know it and I know it.”
Quinn whimpered and pulled Rachel in. She wrapped her arms around the fragile girl and just held on. Rachel tried to resist and hit Quinn in the chest a few times but the girl just held on. Rachel gave in and she wrapped her arms around Quinn’s back and cried.
“Why did this happen to me?” she sobbed. “What did I do to deserve this?!”
“You don’t deserve it, Rach. You don’t.”
“Why else would it happen, Quinn? I…I’m a bad person, that’s all I can…”
“No!” Quinn grabbed Rachel’s shoulders and pulled her away to look into her eyes. “Rachel…no…no, no, no!” She brought her hand up and brushed away Rachel’s tears. “You are not a bad person. You’re not! Rachel, sweetie, you are a wonderful person.”
Rachel shook her head. “Why me, Quinn?”
“I don’t know. But you’re strong and you’re going to get through this. Remember, remember what the doctor said? Your blood work is getting better and that’s a good sign.”
“They still haven’t found a marrow donor…they…they said that my chances go down without one. Quinn…what if…”
“Don’t, Rachel. Don’t even think about that. You’re not going to give up, okay? You’re only a few weeks into the second phase of chemo, there’s plenty of time.”
Quinn held on and rocked the girl until she calmed down. She stayed the night, Rachel stayed wrapped in her arms as they slept.
Chapter 5
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn, mentions of past Rachel/Finn
Rating: PG-13 for angst, depression, more angst, and just general unhappiness
Length: ~1,060/~9,354
Author's Note: See Chapter 1's author's notes & summary for more details.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3
-Chapter 4-
Quinn showed up in the chemo room right at four-fifteen the next day. She said hello to the nurses then grabbed a chair and settled down next to Rachel. Quinn took Rachel's hand and gave it a squeeze. The girl in the recliner smiled.
“Good news,” Rachel said.
“You got cast in ‘Hair’?” Quinn teased.
Rachel stuck her tongue out at the girl and Quinn giggled.
“Phase two chemo starts next week.”
“What about the marrow transplant?”
“Daddy’s not a match and Dad’s anemic. They put me on the national register but apparently, even though it’s the second most popular blood type in the world, A positive is hard to come by. Even then, they have to match all of the other criteria. So we’re just going ahead with phase two and if they find something, I’ll get it. If not then we just keep going.”
“They just want only the best for you, that’s all,” Quinn said. She glanced up at the clock then to Rachel who started turning pale. Rachel’s Dad held the bucket and Quinn went to the cabinet where the washcloths were kept and retrieved one. She wet it down and returned to Rachel’s side.
“Like clockwork,” Rachel’s Dad said. “I could set my watch by you, sweetie.”
Quinn produced a stick of spearmint gum when Rachel finished and went to the sink and rinsed out the pink bucket while Rachel got situated again. Quinn returned with the bucket and took Rachel’s hand when she sat down.
“Blueberry poptarts again?” Quinn asked.
“Looks cool coming back up.”
“Get some rest.”
Rachel nodded. She reclined a little and held onto Quinn’s hand even tighter as she drifted in and out of sleep. Quinn stayed with her until the last drop was squeezed out of the bag of chemo hanging up. Quinn followed Rachel’s dad to their house and helped get her to bed.
On days when Rachel was at home Quinn started bringing in video of the glee club's practices for Rachel to look at and critique. She would take notes as Rachel pointed out different problems with pitch or dance steps that she noticed. Rachel’s Daddy pulled her aside and thanked her again, he said Rachel told him she felt like she was helping glee just as if she were there when she looked at the tapes.
-*-*-*-*-*-
The weeks seemed to drag on but fly by at the same time. It was getting colder, Rachel had to be wrapped and bundled in several layers for the short trip from the Berry house to the hospital for her appointments. The cold only seemed to weaken her even more but with Quinn’s encouragement she was attempting to regain her optimism. Quinn was overloading herself with vitamins and scrubbing extra hard before she dared go near Rachel because a string of colds was going around Lima. To everyone else it was an annoyance. To Rachel it could be fatal.
Despite Quinn’s positivity and Rachel’s attempt at optimism not every day was good. It was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving break and Quinn was met at the door of the Berry house by Rachel’s Dad, who looked exhausted.
“Mr. Berry…is everything okay? Why aren’t you at work?”
“Today’s been another rough one. Come on in. Hopefully you can talk to her.”
Quinn stepped inside and immediately headed to the bathroom. She stopped to hug Rachel's Daddy who was sitting on the couch with Rachel's plethora of prescription pill bottles spread out on the coffee table, sorting them into Rachel's pill box. When Quinn finished showering and stepped into Rachel’s room the girl was curled up on her side, back to the door. Quinn could hear her sniffling and sobbing.
“Rach?”
“G-go away!”
“Rachel, please. I just want to be here for you.” Quinn crossed the floor and sat on Rachel’s bed. She reached out and touched Rachel’s arm.
“Get away from me. Get out!”
“Rach…”
Rachel rolled over and sat up. She glared at Quinn and the blonde leaned back a little bit. “Did you not hear me, slut? Get out!”
“Tell me what’s wrong!”
“Are you blind? Look at me, Quinn! I’m fucking hideous!” Rachel dropped back down to the bed and lay on her back.
“You’re beautiful,” Quinn whispered.
Rachel looked up at Quinn, absolutely certain she’d misheard.
“Rachel you are so beautiful…”
“H-how can you s-say that? Look at me!” Rachel sat up again and pulled the collar of her shirt down, the tubes from her chest port dangling out. “My hair…” she touched the bare skin where thick brunette locks were once rooted. “How can you say that to me, Quinn? I’m a fucking walking skeleton…”
“You’re the most beautiful person I know.” Quinn reached forward and her fingertips touched Rachel’s chest, right over her heart.
“Don’t,” Rachel pushed her hand away. “Don’t do this to me.”
“Why? Why, Rachel?”
“Because I’m ugly and you know it and I know it.”
Quinn whimpered and pulled Rachel in. She wrapped her arms around the fragile girl and just held on. Rachel tried to resist and hit Quinn in the chest a few times but the girl just held on. Rachel gave in and she wrapped her arms around Quinn’s back and cried.
“Why did this happen to me?” she sobbed. “What did I do to deserve this?!”
“You don’t deserve it, Rach. You don’t.”
“Why else would it happen, Quinn? I…I’m a bad person, that’s all I can…”
“No!” Quinn grabbed Rachel’s shoulders and pulled her away to look into her eyes. “Rachel…no…no, no, no!” She brought her hand up and brushed away Rachel’s tears. “You are not a bad person. You’re not! Rachel, sweetie, you are a wonderful person.”
Rachel shook her head. “Why me, Quinn?”
“I don’t know. But you’re strong and you’re going to get through this. Remember, remember what the doctor said? Your blood work is getting better and that’s a good sign.”
“They still haven’t found a marrow donor…they…they said that my chances go down without one. Quinn…what if…”
“Don’t, Rachel. Don’t even think about that. You’re not going to give up, okay? You’re only a few weeks into the second phase of chemo, there’s plenty of time.”
Quinn held on and rocked the girl until she calmed down. She stayed the night, Rachel stayed wrapped in her arms as they slept.
Chapter 5