I dont really feel like doing this right now but I want to. Today I woke up late, I really didnt want to wake up cause I didnt go to bed until 1 thinking about what the hell I should do, what it would be like dead, and a bunch of other things. Anywho, I got Mike's message about Peter. I know that he will get around to reading this. Yeah but I ( Read more... )

Last night I was just walking around the neighborhood just too see what people where doing inside their houses since i had nothing else to do. I was in the newest division and looking at the most extravagant houses in the division. I sat down on the curb to rest and was looking at this house. It was the street that me and Jess had our last 'moment ( Read more... )

Today at school I dont think that I have ever been more depressed than today. I was sitting there in one of my classes just thinking about my life, depressed. I thought of how much that I didnt want to be there. How much I just wanted to be dead. I dont think that anyone would really notice until like 2 weeks that i was missing. Unless i wrote them ( Read more... )

Last night I stayed on the phone with Mike for hours. I seemed like time just slipped by. We didnt talk about to much diverse things, more of just chit chat I guess you could say.. Also earlier tonight I was in my moms room looking through old files with her. I was looking at newspapers that my parents had kept from the 80's it was awesome I saw ( Read more... )

you know it is funny to catch someone in the act. It is ironic, invigorating, occasionally in some cases funny. But at times you can hurt yourself. Such as the other day. I met this one guy and he dis really realkly cool. I mean he is wstraight and I would go out with him just because of his personality. And I was talkiong about him to one of my ( Read more... )

I am begining to have suicidal thoughts again for some reason. I hate having depression. I know that I have it. It is just too obvious when you cut yourself to feel better, or look up chemicals to drink that will kill you. Or something of the nature. I really miss winter. This song really reminds me of winter, most likeley because thats when I ( Read more... )

Hmm... me ( Read more... )

My first and last kiss was Jess.. He is one of the only people that are nice to me. And accept me for who I'am and just not for my looks or anything of the nature.. I told him that he was hot or sexy a long time ago. And one night I belive it was December 23rd 2003 that I got a random IM. And he sent me a link to his profile.. I didnt even remember ( Read more... )