Fic: What Aunt Dahlia Saw: Chapter 6
Hallo all.
Well, I promised a Chapter Six to 'What Aunt Dahlia Saw' would be up soon. I may have failed on the 'soon' part, but here it is, finally. When I made the promise, I had it mostly written - but I had to fill in some gaps, and it got tricky.
Here are links to other chapters:
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Title: What Aunt Dahlia Saw: Chapter Six - Final Night at Brinkley Court
Author: bertiebwriting
Pairing: Jeeves/Wooster
Rating: G
Wordcount: 4842
Warnings: Slash
Summary: A continuation of my 'What Aunt Dahlia Saw' series. The title says it all.
Follow the cut to read more!
What Aunt Dahlia Saw: Chapter Six
Final Night at Brinkley Court
Jeeves found Bertie standing by the window of his room in his dressing-gown, looking out at the fog. He turned as Jeeves entered.
‘Hallo.’
‘Good evening, sir. I trust you are feeling better.’
Bertie scratched the back of his head awkwardly, and stepped away from the window. When Jeeves smiled at him he approached with shy eagerness, reaching for Jeeves until his head was safely resting against his.
‘I missed you,’ he muttered.
‘We last parted just five minutes ago, sir.’
‘I know. I missed you all the same.’ Bertie squeezed him, and sighed. ‘Thank you.’
‘Sir?’
‘For letting me hug you. You’ve been so dashed aloof lately.’ He rested his head on Jeeves’s shoulder and closed his eyes for a moment. He sensed a certain restiveness in the man’s demeanour, however, and reluctantly released him. ‘I’m sorry. You need to do the packing, eh?’
Jeeves nodded.
‘Can-er-can I help, in any way?’
Jeeves smiled. ‘You might allow me to enjoy your company as I work, sir, but otherwise, no.’
‘All right. I’ll sit in bed and watch you.’
‘Very good, sir.’
Jeeves bent to retrieve the suitcases from beneath the bed; Bertie removed his dressing gown and climbed beneath the sheets, from whence he folded his legs to his chest and gazed at his valet.
‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes, sir.’ After a pause, he added, ‘I am a little tired, perhaps.’
‘I shouldn’t wonder. I suppose you’ve been scurrying about and organising things since the crack of dawn.’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘I wish there was something I could do. Something helpful, I mean.’ Bertie scratched his head and laughed. ‘I shouldn’t admit this to you, but I was a little nervous just now, just before you came in. I was afraid you might be pipped with Bertram.’
‘Sir?’
‘Oh, because I hurled myself at you like that in front of Aunt Dahlia and said soppy things.’
Jeeves gave him a look of kindly rebuke. ‘It was imprudent, sir. Delighted as I am to have your aunt’s blessing, I confess I am not eager to test her sympathy too greatly. However-’ his voice softened slightly- ‘I cannot resent your actions. I know you have had a difficult and overwhelming day.’
‘Yes, and I seem to be making one bloomer after another. Was she at all rattled? I wasn’t paying attention.’
Jeeves shook his head. ‘Quite the contrary, sir; I believe she was somewhat affected.’
‘Really?’
Jeeves nodded, and Bertie smiled to himself. He didn’t say so out loud, but to know that his aunt felt emotions of warmth towards himself and Jeeves, such as she might feel were he engaged to a girl she thought highly of, made a tremendous difference to him.
‘You know,’ he said, after a bit of a silence, ‘I think Aunt Dahlia rather likes regarding you as one of the family.’
Jeeves smiled. ‘Mrs. Travers was kind enough to suggest that I regard her as an aunt, sir.’
Bertie’s tentative smile broadened. ‘Did she?’ he said. ‘Good for her.’ He hugged his arms around his knees. ‘By the way, did you see anything of Tuppy or Angela after dinner?’
‘Only briefly, sir.’
‘Are they miffed at me, do you think?’
‘I could not say for certain, sir, but I believe not.’
‘I shouldn’t have snapped at them like that.’
‘It was perhaps somewhat injudicious, sir,’ Jeeves responded.
‘Yes, yes, I know. But in any case, it was wrong. Just because I’ve found love at last, it doesn’t mean I’ve automatically gained an insight into everyone else’s relationships. I don’t know why Tuppy and Angela fight so much, but it’s not for me to judge, is it?’
Jeeves smiled. ‘An considerate observation, sir.’
Bertie fiddled with the corner of his sheet.
‘I know I didn’t carry things off very well tonight.’
Jeeves looked at him with a faint reprimand in his eyes. ‘It was an uncharacteristic outburst, sir, and has, I believe, been much discussed by those assembled here since you retired.’
Bertie gaped at him. ‘I’m sorry.’
Jeeves’s stern look melted. ‘There is no serious harm done, sir. I have attended to the matter.’
‘You have? How?’
‘I may have given the impression, sir, through some casual remarks, that you are currently somewhat devastated owing to an understanding you entered into in New York, that ended in disappointment.’ For some reason, Jeeves felt reluctant to mention Mrs. Travers’s involvement.
‘Really? They swallowed that, did they?’
‘So far, yes, sir. I hope I did not take a liberty, sir. It seemed to me the most plausible fabrication, and bears no ill reflection on you. Furthermore, the details of the story are unlikely to be called into question. Since you were residing in New York, no-one will expect to know the identity of the other party. And, if I might say so, sir, the story is consistent with your general behaviour on this visit.’
‘Hm. Well, excellent, Jeeves. Smoothly handled.’
‘Thank you, sir.’
Bertie brooded for a moment.
‘Of course,’ he said at last, somewhat dolefully, ‘it’s not really a lie, is it?’
‘Sir?’
‘My having had an affair in New York, I mean, that quickly dwindled into a guilty, low and unrequited hell.’
Jeeves ceased working on the packing to look at him.
‘Is that how you feel, sir, about our understanding?’
Bertie ran a hand through his hair and shrugged, shaking his head. ‘I don’t know. Everything was bliss for about five minutes, then my Aunt Agatha turned up, and we’ve been sneaking around like criminals ever since, it seems. I just feel as though-as though that wasn’t bad luck, as I thought at the time, but an indication of how things are always going to be.’
Jeeves came to him, discarding formality for the moment. He sat on the bed at Bertie’s feet and, after a moment’s hesitation, took his hand.
‘We will be on the Blue Train tomorrow night. And then the following day, we will arrive at our destination.’
‘I know. But…’
‘What is it?’ Jeeves asked him.
‘This is just a holiday, Jeeves. It’s not the start of a change in our everyday life. When it’s over, we’ll be in the same position we are now.’
Jeeves frowned, reaching out, and Bertie shifted closer so that Jeeves could put an arm around his shoulder.
‘When our time abroad is over, sir, I assume you plan to return to our flat in London. That will be an entirely different situation than any we have experienced since we reached our understanding.’
‘It might be different, but will it be any better? I’ll still always have aunts and friends dropping in at a moment’s notice.’
‘That may be true, sir-though I am convinced that, on the whole, things will return to the more tranquil existence that characterised our mode of life before the autumn.’
‘Well, it couldn’t very well be less tranquil, Jeeves.’
‘It can never be as simple for us as it is for those in a more conventional understanding, sir. But if we are as connected as I believe we are, then we will find a way. There is always a way.’
Bertie shook his head impatiently. ‘You make it sound like some sort of character-building exercise, Jeeves. I don’t want a challenge, dash it. I’m not someone who yearns for a life of drama. I didn’t enter into this-er-understanding, as you call it, because I thought it would be fun to have a big secret from all my friends. I just want to be with you.’ He rubbed his eyes. ‘It doesn’t seem like it should be too much to ask,’ he muttered. ‘But we’re always going to be tip-toeing around like this, aren’t we.’
‘We will be together, sir,’ Jeeves said softly.
Bertie pulled away from him, uncurling himself and perching on the edge of the bed, as if he was thinking of getting up to pace about the room. ‘Dash it, Jeeves. Why-’ he had begun to raise his voice, but quickly stopped, biting his lip. When he spoke again, his voice was lower. ‘Why do I feel as if I’m the only one who’s at all bothered by the fact that we’re having to creep about furtively and lie all the time?’
‘No, sir, that isn’t true,’ Jeeves said, shaking his head. ‘I am as frustrated as you are, sir.’
Bertie sighed, touching Jeeves’s shoulder momentarily by way of apology. ‘I know; I’m sure you are.’
There was a longish pause. After a space, Jeeves rose quietly and went to look at the suitcases.
‘You just-you just don’t look frustrated, Jeeves,’ Bertie said, with a touch of acerbity now. ‘And sometimes I wish you would.’
‘I must conceal my feelings, sir,’ Jeeves reminded him, still gazing down at the luggage, ‘even at the best of times. Someone in my position is not expected to display their private emotions to their employers.’
‘For heaven’s sake, Jeeves, do you think I care whether you behave in a manner befitting a personal attendant or not?’
Jeeves looked at him and made a small bow, smiling faintly. ‘You are very good, sir.’
‘Don’t be an ass! Dash it, are you deliberately trying to give me the pip?’
‘No. But I must behave professionally towards you when there is company present.’
‘But there isn’t company present!’
Jeeves’s mouth twitched in a half-smile. ‘Or company close at hand, sir.’
Bertie thumped the mattress with his fist. ‘Don’t smile like that! I’m angry with you, damn it! How can you-’
‘Because I am afraid that I might otherwise forget myself!’ Jeeves interrupted.
He had spoken with rather more vehemence than he usually employed, and now he coughed, and laying a hand on the bed-post, stood quite still for a moment.
‘I am afraid,’ he continued, his tone softer, ‘that showing my affection to you will begin to come so naturally to me, sir, that I may inadvertently say or do something intimate at an inappropriate moment.’
Bertie looked slightly confused.
‘That could potentially destroy us, sir,’ Jeeves whispered.
Bertie shook his head with a frown. ‘When have you ever said anything inappropriate? I don’t know of anyone more adept at wearing the mask than you.’
‘I have never had to conceal an emotion as powerful as this before,’ Jeeves muttered, looking down at his hands. ‘It can be overwhelming, sir. I dare not display any peculiar warmth towards you, even momentarily-should I yield to the temptation, I fear I will lose my self-control.’
Bertie looked at him, his eyes bright. ‘I-I really have that effect on you?’
Jeeves closed his eyes, breathing somewhat heavily.
‘I forget,’ said Bertie with a smile. ‘When you float about with a face like a stuffed frog, yes-sirring and indeed-sirring me, it’s hard to believe that a passion lurks beneath the surface.’
‘I cannot hide it without creating an outward show of distance from you, sir.’
‘I know,’ Bertie said, calming. ‘I know that. It just makes me feel frightfully rattled. It makes me feel as though I’ve imagined all this. I do wish you’d switch it off when we’re alone.’
‘When we are finally alone, sir, I will.’ Jeeves coughed. ‘I promise you that; I shall scarcely be able to help myself. But at present, sir, it is entirely possible that one of your friends might enter without warning.’
‘Well then, lock the door.’
‘That would require an explanation, sir. Over time, people would begin to wonder why you have taken to locking it-especially if I am always with you when someone attempts to enter.’ He sighed. ‘I know I do not need to remind you of the potential consequences, sir, should anyone suspect what is truly between us.’
‘These are my friends, Jeeves. They aren’t the suspicious-minded vultures my Aunt Agatha embodies. They might be just as sympathetic as Aunt Dahlia.’
Jeeves paled.
‘You cannot count on that, sir.’
‘I’ve known Kipper all my life!’
Jeeves bit his lip. ‘Sir; I am more grateful than I can say for your aunt’s kindness. But-’ he returned to Bertie’s side and slid an arm around his shoulders again- ‘I am sorry, sir: but we cannot expect that same kindness to occur again from any other quarter, even from your oldest friends.’
Bertie nodded grimly. ‘I know.’ He fiddled with a button on his sleeve and swallowed hard. ‘Oh, good lord; Jeeves, I don’t know if I can live like this.’
Jeeves hesitated, then nodded.
‘If, at any time, you decide to put an end to this, sir-I will understand.’
Bertie looked at him in horror. ‘Put an end to it? You-you don’t want that, do you?’
Jeeves shook his head, turning his face away so that Bertie could not fully see it. ‘I do not wish to cause a severance between yourself and those dear to you, sir.’
‘You’re dear to me, Jeeves. You’re dearer to me than anyone. I don’t want to lose you-my God, it would kill me!’
Jeeves passed a hand over his face, then turned to face Bertie once more.
‘I never wanted our connection to be a source of sorrow for you, sir.’ He took Bertie’s hand in his and studied it, twining the fingers in his own. ‘I fear it has become so, nevertheless.’
‘No, it hasn’t.’
‘You were happy once, sir, and I believe that at first, our understanding brought you joy.’
‘Of course it did, you silly ass,’ Bertie interrupted, his voice unsteady. He was close to weeping.
‘But since then, that joy has since given way to frustration and anxiety, because you have been compelled to hide it.’ Jeeves looked into Bertie’s eyes. ‘I see every day how much it grieves you, sir. It is more pain than I can bear to see you endure.’
‘It’s nothing to the pain that losing you would cause.’ Bertie was shaking. ‘Please, don’t talk this way. When I said I couldn’t live like this, I didn’t mean that I wanted it to end, I meant that-dash it, I don’t know what I meant.’ He clenched Jeeves’s hand tightly.
Jeeves gave a quiet smile. ‘I have been hoping, sir, that a period without these pressures will restore you to your former happiness.’ He touched Bertie’s face. ‘I think it will, if you can you allow us both some time. I don’t want to lose you, either.’
‘You say that as if I have a choice,’ Bertie laughed, wiping away a tear. ‘Of course I’m going to allow some time, what else am I going to do? Oh, Jeeves,’ he murmured, putting his arms around the man and drawing him closer, ‘I can’t possibly let you go.’
He felt Jeeves’s head rest against his, and tightened his embrace. ‘It’s you, Jeeves,’ he went on. ‘You’re my one and only. You know I’ve been inspired to propose marriage more than once, but I’ve truly never been so…’ he shook his head, at a loss for words. ‘Well, anyway-that’s the way it is, I can’t change it any more than I can change the fact that Aunt Agatha’s my aunt.’ A smile began to form on his features. ‘I wouldn’t even if I could. You, that is, I mean, not Aunt Agatha.’
Jeeves drew back from the embrace and kissed Bertie’s hand. ‘I understand, sir.’
‘I know it must seem as if I’m whining over my own plight and ignoring yours, Jeeves, but honestly, old thing, I don’t see it as some personal burden that I can just cast off when it becomes to heavy. I know you’re carrying it too. We both share the same plight, I mean, and when I start lamenting the way things are, I’m thinking of you as well as myself.’
‘I know.’
‘On occasions like the frightful dinner we just had, for example, the thing that bothers me the most is the thought that you might feel as though I’ve forgotten about you, when I’m sitting there not even looking at you while you float about at the edge of the room watching us all eat.’
Jeeves shook his head. ‘No, sir.’
‘It couldn’t be more to the opposite,’ Bertie said, gazing down at the floor. ‘You’re more important to me than anyone sitting at that table.’
‘I am grateful for your reassurance,’ Jeeves said. ‘However, I am generally aware of what topics may be uppermost in your mind at a given time.’
‘Oh,’ Bertie said, with a faint frown. ‘How’s that? For the most part, I’ve been wearing a jolly convincing mask.’
Jeeves smiled indulgently. ‘Convincing enough. However, your facades are rarely difficult for me to penetrate.’
Their eyes met and held for a moment; then Bertie looked away, blushing. A short silence followed until Bertie scratched his head and coughed.
‘Anyhow, Jeeves-I don’t know what we’re to do about the lack of privacy in our day-to-day lives. The only option that occurs is that we retire from all society in a log cabin somewhere.’
Jeeves smiled. ‘I fear such a lifestyle would hardly appeal you, sir. These months have been particularly trying, I agree, and I am as desperate as you are for us both to escape together. But my desperation doesn’t mean therefore that the situation is hopeless.’
Bertie nodded.
‘And sir?’
‘Yes?’
‘I have no doubt that when we find ourselves alone once more, the bond between us will be stronger than ever.’
Bertie nodded again, somewhat ruefully. He had previously expressed an anxiety that their passion for each other might not survive so many weeks of concealment.
‘I hope you’re right. I hope it will.’
‘I know it will, sir.’ Jeeves took his hand and kissed it. ‘I suppressed my feelings for you for a long time. Two months more didn’t signify; another day certainly doesn’t.’
Bertie sighed. ‘How do you manage to be so patient?’
Jeeves smiled. ‘I remind myself, sir, that this frustrating time is a mere two months, in comparison with the years that we scarcely dared acknowledge the truth. I think of the years we have been together, and how deeply our affection developed over that time, in spite of our silence. I recall, often, of the first night we spent together, and our conversation the following day.’ He coughed. ‘I think of that very often, sir. And then I look ahead, sir, to the moment when we are alone together again.’
‘But doesn’t all this acting-as-though-nothing-happened stuff grate on your nerves? You do it so dashed well it almost convinces me.’
‘It is wearing, sir.’
‘You know, every day I wake up thinking that your loving me is all a dream, and it’s hours, sometimes, before I’m convinced that it’s actually real. It makes me feel so on edge, and apart from the terror of being discovered, I think my greatest fear is that we might end up living the majority of our life together just like this-hiding the truth, and having this awful distance between us.’
‘Sir…’ Jeeves muttered, ‘no.’ He drew Bertie close against him, surrounding him with his arms. ‘There may be periods of temporary unpleasantness, like this,’ he whispered in Bertie’s ear. ‘But the existence you describe is not how I intend for either of us to live. We will find a way, sir. I would never allow us to live utterly repressed.’
Bertie sighed, leaning against him tiredly.
‘There is never any distance between us, sir,’ Jeeves continued, ‘there is only the appearance of it. Allow others to be misled by it, but do not let it deceive yourself.’
Bertie laughed softly. ‘You must remember, Jeeves, that I’m not particularly bright,’ he said. ‘It’s hard for me to believe in things that I can’t see.’
Jeeves shook his head. ‘Sir, I love you.’
Bertie sighed deeply against Jeeves’s shoulder. ‘Don’t call me “sir”.’
‘You must believe this, sir, however things might appear,’ Jeeves said softly. ‘When you see me going about my duties, when there is company present, I promise you that I am always thinking of you.’
Bertie drew back from the embrace to look at him.
‘I know,’ he whispered. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything.’
‘There is nothing you need apologise for,’ Jeeves said. ‘If you only knew how much you have given me, you would not consider apologising.’
‘I haven’t given you a thing, Jeeves, other than a lot of idiotic problems. What you see in me, I can’t imagine.’
Jeeves smiled, and kissed him. It was a mere kiss on the cheek, but it was also the most intimate physical interaction they’d had since the previous night, and though Jeeves would not allow things to be pushed along any further, Bertie was not about to let the moment end. It was some minutes, therefore, before they parted once more.
‘If we are to catch the Blue Train tomorrow, sir, I must finish the packing tonight.’
Bertie sighed. ‘All right. You’re right.’
Jeeves left Bertie’s side and returned, once more, to the suitcases. Bertie sighed, and settled himself back beneath the blankets, drawing up his knees as before.
‘By the way, Jeeves,’ he said, ‘I’ve been meaning to ask; why on earth did you decide to creep up behind me and pour me more wine, right at the moment everyone was looking at me all squiggle-eyed?’
‘I am sorry, sir. I fear I allowed my feelings to overcome my better judgement at that particular moment. You appeared distressed, sir, and-’
‘And what?’
Jeeves fiddled with the strap on a box of collars. ‘I wanted to comfort you. But the only way I could do so was to refresh your glass, to remind you that I was there.’
Bertie swallowed, and smiled sadly. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t take it in the spirit it was intended.’
‘Not at all, sir. You are understandably tense and nervous at present. I thought you were aware of my presence behind you, or else I would not have risked startling you.’
Bertie closed his eyes. ‘I was aware of your presence, Jeeves. I always am. But I can’t always pinpoint precisely where it is.’
Jeeves smiled. ‘Would that be owing to my ability to float noiselessly, sir?’
That made Bertie smile, too.
‘Mostly because, in spite of your noiselessness, you have the sort of presence that just-just fills up a room, so you seem to be sort of everywhere. Omni-something is the word, I think.’
‘Omnipresent, sir?’
‘That’s the baby.’ He coughed. ‘I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, Jeeves, but I absolutely adore watching you pack.’
‘Indeed, sir?’
‘Yes. It varies a little depending on the circs, of course-if we’re about to lug ourselves off to Bumpleigh Hall, Steeple Bumpleigh, say, that casts a bit of a shadow over things. But overall, it makes me feel-well, at home, if you know what I mean. It’s jolly comforting. It reminds me that wherever I’m going, you’re always at my side, don’t you know. It feels so-dash it, what’s the word?’
‘Would “intimate” perhaps be the word for which you are groping, sir?’
Bertie smiled, gazing at him with unabashed devotion. ‘Yes. That’s what it is. Intimate. And I can’t tell you how happy it makes me.’
Jeeves finished buckling the last case and returned to Bertie’s side, fiddling a bit with the cuff of his shirt. Bertie shifted close to him, and when he spoke again, his voice was lower.
‘Your omnipresence goes beyond filling the room, you know, Jeeves. Sometimes I feel as if you’re right beside me-as if you’re as much a part of me as my own arm. Isn’t that positively daft?’
Jeeves shook his head, brushing a few specks of dust from the knees of his trousers. ‘No, sir, it isn’t.’
Bertie began stroking Jeeves’s sleeve. ‘It’s almost a bit unnerving,’ he murmured. ‘Tonight, at dinner, I felt-’ he uttered a laugh- ‘I felt as if you were next to me, just as you are now. As though you were invisible and holding me, secretly, while I was trying to chat to Kipper and Tuppy and everyone. I could scarcely look at anyone, it was so real.’
Jeeves breathed a short sigh; and in a manner that suggested that he’d had about enough of being a valet for that day, he turned towards Bertie and kissed him full on the mouth, his hands holding Bertie’s head at just the angle he wanted. When they finally parted, he still appeared calm, although he was breathing somewhat heavily.
Bertie panted and gazed at Jeeves, his eyes bright and his face flushed. ‘Oh, my...’
‘I did not anticipate that you could read my thoughts so precisely,’ Jeeves said quietly.
‘I certainly didn’t see that kiss coming,’ Bertie breathed. ‘Gosh, it’s like a drink of wine in a desert.’
‘At dinner, sir. You felt-’
‘Ah. You think I wasn’t imagining that sensation at the table, then? You were thinking something along those lines yourself?’
‘There were a few minutes,’ Jeeves admitted softly, ‘in which my thoughts began to drift in that direction, in spite of my efforts. It was shortly after I had served the soup.’
Bertie nodded with a pensive smile. When he looked at Jeeves again, he had to take a deep breath to steady himself. ‘Upon my word, Jeeves, we really need to be alone. Moments of telepathic passion between the courses at dinner doesn’t really satisfy, does it.’
‘I agree, sir.’
Bertie tentatively ran his hands over Jeeves’s chest, frowning as if trying to recall what it felt like unclothed.
‘If I had you completely alone right now-’ his eyes darkened, and he shook his head. ‘I can’t stop thinking about-about that last time, you know. That last proper time, I mean, in New York. I think about you murmuring things in my ear and how your hands felt, and-’ he stopped, abruptly. ‘Blast.’ He withdrew his hands, blushing hotly. ‘Damn it,’ he muttered. ‘I was trying not to think about those things.’
Jeeves shifted back a little, enabling Bertie to draw his knees up to his chest once more. Bertie fidgeted awkwardly, breathing hard.
‘I’m sorry, sir.’
‘Not your fault. My fault.’ Bertie glanced at him and smiled. ‘I’m an idiot for even thinking about it, I’m sorry.’ He reached for Jeeves’s hand and clenched his fingers around it tightly, biting his lip. ‘Jeeves,’ he muttered. ‘My dear Jeeves.’
Without either of them intending it, their lips found each other once more. They kissed, slowly, at Jeeves’s insistence, but deeply.
‘I want you so dreadfully,’ Bertie groaned.
Jeeves shook his head, closing his eyes as he attempted to refuse another kiss. ‘Tomorrow night, sir, we will be on the Blue Train to the Riviera.’
‘Yes, and we’ll be even more cooped up on the train than we are now.’
‘And the following day, sir, we will arrive at our hotel.’
‘Can’t you stay here with me tonight?’
Jeeves shook his head.
‘Just ten minutes, then,’ Bertie persisted. ‘Come on-please.’ He tried to kiss Jeeves again.
Jeeves gently resisted. ‘If you mean, sir-’
‘You know dashed well what I mean.’
Jeeves squeezed his hand tightly. ‘I can’t. I want to, sir, very much-’
‘I know you do,’ Bertie breathed.
‘But we cannot take such a risk, sir.’ He drew away slowly.
Bertie took a deep breath. ‘I’m being unfair, aren’t I.’ He rubbed his face briskly with both hands and shifted back until Jeeves was no longer within reach.
‘I am extremely sorry, sir.’
‘Don’t be. I’m the one who should be apologising, again. I’ve been complaining about your being too aloof and remote, but if you hadn’t been, I should never have got through this ordeal without giving everything away. You’ve been such a tower of strength, Jeeves; I don’t know how you do it. I’m absolutely in awe.’
Jeeves smiled. ‘As we have discussed before, sir, concealment is not nearly so difficult for me as it is for yourself.’
Bertie nodded, running his hands through his hair distractedly.
‘I don’t wish to lose your company, old thing, but I think perhaps you’d better go soonish, if you don’t mind.’
‘Very good, sir.’
‘Don’t be offended, old thing. It’s because as long as you’re here, I want to kiss you. And I can’t do that, because I’m getting stirred up.’
Jeeves nodded, with a smile. ‘Very good, sir.’ He took Bertie’s hand and kissed it. Bertie smiled, and settled against the pillows.
‘Good-night, then, Jeeves.’
Jeeves hesitated, looking at him.
‘Go on. You must be exhausted. Go and get some sleep.’
Jeeves considered, then leaned over and kissed Bertie’s cheek. ‘Sleep well, sir. I will be waking you early tomorrow.’
‘All right.’
Jeeves squeezed his hand and rose. After straightening Mr. Wooster’s sheets and placing his dressing-gown at the foot of the bed, he bowed, and withdrew to the door.
‘Good-night, sir.’
‘Good-night, Jeeves.’
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First chapter of prequel, The Beginning, this way...
I do hope you like it. I found this chapter hard to finish for some reason, so I hope it doesn't sound to laboured. Let me know what you think! In the next chapter, we'll be going back in time to a certain October in New York City...
Well, I promised a Chapter Six to 'What Aunt Dahlia Saw' would be up soon. I may have failed on the 'soon' part, but here it is, finally. When I made the promise, I had it mostly written - but I had to fill in some gaps, and it got tricky.
Here are links to other chapters:
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Title: What Aunt Dahlia Saw: Chapter Six - Final Night at Brinkley Court
Author: bertiebwriting
Pairing: Jeeves/Wooster
Rating: G
Wordcount: 4842
Warnings: Slash
Summary: A continuation of my 'What Aunt Dahlia Saw' series. The title says it all.
Follow the cut to read more!
What Aunt Dahlia Saw: Chapter Six
Final Night at Brinkley Court
Jeeves found Bertie standing by the window of his room in his dressing-gown, looking out at the fog. He turned as Jeeves entered.
‘Hallo.’
‘Good evening, sir. I trust you are feeling better.’
Bertie scratched the back of his head awkwardly, and stepped away from the window. When Jeeves smiled at him he approached with shy eagerness, reaching for Jeeves until his head was safely resting against his.
‘I missed you,’ he muttered.
‘We last parted just five minutes ago, sir.’
‘I know. I missed you all the same.’ Bertie squeezed him, and sighed. ‘Thank you.’
‘Sir?’
‘For letting me hug you. You’ve been so dashed aloof lately.’ He rested his head on Jeeves’s shoulder and closed his eyes for a moment. He sensed a certain restiveness in the man’s demeanour, however, and reluctantly released him. ‘I’m sorry. You need to do the packing, eh?’
Jeeves nodded.
‘Can-er-can I help, in any way?’
Jeeves smiled. ‘You might allow me to enjoy your company as I work, sir, but otherwise, no.’
‘All right. I’ll sit in bed and watch you.’
‘Very good, sir.’
Jeeves bent to retrieve the suitcases from beneath the bed; Bertie removed his dressing gown and climbed beneath the sheets, from whence he folded his legs to his chest and gazed at his valet.
‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes, sir.’ After a pause, he added, ‘I am a little tired, perhaps.’
‘I shouldn’t wonder. I suppose you’ve been scurrying about and organising things since the crack of dawn.’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘I wish there was something I could do. Something helpful, I mean.’ Bertie scratched his head and laughed. ‘I shouldn’t admit this to you, but I was a little nervous just now, just before you came in. I was afraid you might be pipped with Bertram.’
‘Sir?’
‘Oh, because I hurled myself at you like that in front of Aunt Dahlia and said soppy things.’
Jeeves gave him a look of kindly rebuke. ‘It was imprudent, sir. Delighted as I am to have your aunt’s blessing, I confess I am not eager to test her sympathy too greatly. However-’ his voice softened slightly- ‘I cannot resent your actions. I know you have had a difficult and overwhelming day.’
‘Yes, and I seem to be making one bloomer after another. Was she at all rattled? I wasn’t paying attention.’
Jeeves shook his head. ‘Quite the contrary, sir; I believe she was somewhat affected.’
‘Really?’
Jeeves nodded, and Bertie smiled to himself. He didn’t say so out loud, but to know that his aunt felt emotions of warmth towards himself and Jeeves, such as she might feel were he engaged to a girl she thought highly of, made a tremendous difference to him.
‘You know,’ he said, after a bit of a silence, ‘I think Aunt Dahlia rather likes regarding you as one of the family.’
Jeeves smiled. ‘Mrs. Travers was kind enough to suggest that I regard her as an aunt, sir.’
Bertie’s tentative smile broadened. ‘Did she?’ he said. ‘Good for her.’ He hugged his arms around his knees. ‘By the way, did you see anything of Tuppy or Angela after dinner?’
‘Only briefly, sir.’
‘Are they miffed at me, do you think?’
‘I could not say for certain, sir, but I believe not.’
‘I shouldn’t have snapped at them like that.’
‘It was perhaps somewhat injudicious, sir,’ Jeeves responded.
‘Yes, yes, I know. But in any case, it was wrong. Just because I’ve found love at last, it doesn’t mean I’ve automatically gained an insight into everyone else’s relationships. I don’t know why Tuppy and Angela fight so much, but it’s not for me to judge, is it?’
Jeeves smiled. ‘An considerate observation, sir.’
Bertie fiddled with the corner of his sheet.
‘I know I didn’t carry things off very well tonight.’
Jeeves looked at him with a faint reprimand in his eyes. ‘It was an uncharacteristic outburst, sir, and has, I believe, been much discussed by those assembled here since you retired.’
Bertie gaped at him. ‘I’m sorry.’
Jeeves’s stern look melted. ‘There is no serious harm done, sir. I have attended to the matter.’
‘You have? How?’
‘I may have given the impression, sir, through some casual remarks, that you are currently somewhat devastated owing to an understanding you entered into in New York, that ended in disappointment.’ For some reason, Jeeves felt reluctant to mention Mrs. Travers’s involvement.
‘Really? They swallowed that, did they?’
‘So far, yes, sir. I hope I did not take a liberty, sir. It seemed to me the most plausible fabrication, and bears no ill reflection on you. Furthermore, the details of the story are unlikely to be called into question. Since you were residing in New York, no-one will expect to know the identity of the other party. And, if I might say so, sir, the story is consistent with your general behaviour on this visit.’
‘Hm. Well, excellent, Jeeves. Smoothly handled.’
‘Thank you, sir.’
Bertie brooded for a moment.
‘Of course,’ he said at last, somewhat dolefully, ‘it’s not really a lie, is it?’
‘Sir?’
‘My having had an affair in New York, I mean, that quickly dwindled into a guilty, low and unrequited hell.’
Jeeves ceased working on the packing to look at him.
‘Is that how you feel, sir, about our understanding?’
Bertie ran a hand through his hair and shrugged, shaking his head. ‘I don’t know. Everything was bliss for about five minutes, then my Aunt Agatha turned up, and we’ve been sneaking around like criminals ever since, it seems. I just feel as though-as though that wasn’t bad luck, as I thought at the time, but an indication of how things are always going to be.’
Jeeves came to him, discarding formality for the moment. He sat on the bed at Bertie’s feet and, after a moment’s hesitation, took his hand.
‘We will be on the Blue Train tomorrow night. And then the following day, we will arrive at our destination.’
‘I know. But…’
‘What is it?’ Jeeves asked him.
‘This is just a holiday, Jeeves. It’s not the start of a change in our everyday life. When it’s over, we’ll be in the same position we are now.’
Jeeves frowned, reaching out, and Bertie shifted closer so that Jeeves could put an arm around his shoulder.
‘When our time abroad is over, sir, I assume you plan to return to our flat in London. That will be an entirely different situation than any we have experienced since we reached our understanding.’
‘It might be different, but will it be any better? I’ll still always have aunts and friends dropping in at a moment’s notice.’
‘That may be true, sir-though I am convinced that, on the whole, things will return to the more tranquil existence that characterised our mode of life before the autumn.’
‘Well, it couldn’t very well be less tranquil, Jeeves.’
‘It can never be as simple for us as it is for those in a more conventional understanding, sir. But if we are as connected as I believe we are, then we will find a way. There is always a way.’
Bertie shook his head impatiently. ‘You make it sound like some sort of character-building exercise, Jeeves. I don’t want a challenge, dash it. I’m not someone who yearns for a life of drama. I didn’t enter into this-er-understanding, as you call it, because I thought it would be fun to have a big secret from all my friends. I just want to be with you.’ He rubbed his eyes. ‘It doesn’t seem like it should be too much to ask,’ he muttered. ‘But we’re always going to be tip-toeing around like this, aren’t we.’
‘We will be together, sir,’ Jeeves said softly.
Bertie pulled away from him, uncurling himself and perching on the edge of the bed, as if he was thinking of getting up to pace about the room. ‘Dash it, Jeeves. Why-’ he had begun to raise his voice, but quickly stopped, biting his lip. When he spoke again, his voice was lower. ‘Why do I feel as if I’m the only one who’s at all bothered by the fact that we’re having to creep about furtively and lie all the time?’
‘No, sir, that isn’t true,’ Jeeves said, shaking his head. ‘I am as frustrated as you are, sir.’
Bertie sighed, touching Jeeves’s shoulder momentarily by way of apology. ‘I know; I’m sure you are.’
There was a longish pause. After a space, Jeeves rose quietly and went to look at the suitcases.
‘You just-you just don’t look frustrated, Jeeves,’ Bertie said, with a touch of acerbity now. ‘And sometimes I wish you would.’
‘I must conceal my feelings, sir,’ Jeeves reminded him, still gazing down at the luggage, ‘even at the best of times. Someone in my position is not expected to display their private emotions to their employers.’
‘For heaven’s sake, Jeeves, do you think I care whether you behave in a manner befitting a personal attendant or not?’
Jeeves looked at him and made a small bow, smiling faintly. ‘You are very good, sir.’
‘Don’t be an ass! Dash it, are you deliberately trying to give me the pip?’
‘No. But I must behave professionally towards you when there is company present.’
‘But there isn’t company present!’
Jeeves’s mouth twitched in a half-smile. ‘Or company close at hand, sir.’
Bertie thumped the mattress with his fist. ‘Don’t smile like that! I’m angry with you, damn it! How can you-’
‘Because I am afraid that I might otherwise forget myself!’ Jeeves interrupted.
He had spoken with rather more vehemence than he usually employed, and now he coughed, and laying a hand on the bed-post, stood quite still for a moment.
‘I am afraid,’ he continued, his tone softer, ‘that showing my affection to you will begin to come so naturally to me, sir, that I may inadvertently say or do something intimate at an inappropriate moment.’
Bertie looked slightly confused.
‘That could potentially destroy us, sir,’ Jeeves whispered.
Bertie shook his head with a frown. ‘When have you ever said anything inappropriate? I don’t know of anyone more adept at wearing the mask than you.’
‘I have never had to conceal an emotion as powerful as this before,’ Jeeves muttered, looking down at his hands. ‘It can be overwhelming, sir. I dare not display any peculiar warmth towards you, even momentarily-should I yield to the temptation, I fear I will lose my self-control.’
Bertie looked at him, his eyes bright. ‘I-I really have that effect on you?’
Jeeves closed his eyes, breathing somewhat heavily.
‘I forget,’ said Bertie with a smile. ‘When you float about with a face like a stuffed frog, yes-sirring and indeed-sirring me, it’s hard to believe that a passion lurks beneath the surface.’
‘I cannot hide it without creating an outward show of distance from you, sir.’
‘I know,’ Bertie said, calming. ‘I know that. It just makes me feel frightfully rattled. It makes me feel as though I’ve imagined all this. I do wish you’d switch it off when we’re alone.’
‘When we are finally alone, sir, I will.’ Jeeves coughed. ‘I promise you that; I shall scarcely be able to help myself. But at present, sir, it is entirely possible that one of your friends might enter without warning.’
‘Well then, lock the door.’
‘That would require an explanation, sir. Over time, people would begin to wonder why you have taken to locking it-especially if I am always with you when someone attempts to enter.’ He sighed. ‘I know I do not need to remind you of the potential consequences, sir, should anyone suspect what is truly between us.’
‘These are my friends, Jeeves. They aren’t the suspicious-minded vultures my Aunt Agatha embodies. They might be just as sympathetic as Aunt Dahlia.’
Jeeves paled.
‘You cannot count on that, sir.’
‘I’ve known Kipper all my life!’
Jeeves bit his lip. ‘Sir; I am more grateful than I can say for your aunt’s kindness. But-’ he returned to Bertie’s side and slid an arm around his shoulders again- ‘I am sorry, sir: but we cannot expect that same kindness to occur again from any other quarter, even from your oldest friends.’
Bertie nodded grimly. ‘I know.’ He fiddled with a button on his sleeve and swallowed hard. ‘Oh, good lord; Jeeves, I don’t know if I can live like this.’
Jeeves hesitated, then nodded.
‘If, at any time, you decide to put an end to this, sir-I will understand.’
Bertie looked at him in horror. ‘Put an end to it? You-you don’t want that, do you?’
Jeeves shook his head, turning his face away so that Bertie could not fully see it. ‘I do not wish to cause a severance between yourself and those dear to you, sir.’
‘You’re dear to me, Jeeves. You’re dearer to me than anyone. I don’t want to lose you-my God, it would kill me!’
Jeeves passed a hand over his face, then turned to face Bertie once more.
‘I never wanted our connection to be a source of sorrow for you, sir.’ He took Bertie’s hand in his and studied it, twining the fingers in his own. ‘I fear it has become so, nevertheless.’
‘No, it hasn’t.’
‘You were happy once, sir, and I believe that at first, our understanding brought you joy.’
‘Of course it did, you silly ass,’ Bertie interrupted, his voice unsteady. He was close to weeping.
‘But since then, that joy has since given way to frustration and anxiety, because you have been compelled to hide it.’ Jeeves looked into Bertie’s eyes. ‘I see every day how much it grieves you, sir. It is more pain than I can bear to see you endure.’
‘It’s nothing to the pain that losing you would cause.’ Bertie was shaking. ‘Please, don’t talk this way. When I said I couldn’t live like this, I didn’t mean that I wanted it to end, I meant that-dash it, I don’t know what I meant.’ He clenched Jeeves’s hand tightly.
Jeeves gave a quiet smile. ‘I have been hoping, sir, that a period without these pressures will restore you to your former happiness.’ He touched Bertie’s face. ‘I think it will, if you can you allow us both some time. I don’t want to lose you, either.’
‘You say that as if I have a choice,’ Bertie laughed, wiping away a tear. ‘Of course I’m going to allow some time, what else am I going to do? Oh, Jeeves,’ he murmured, putting his arms around the man and drawing him closer, ‘I can’t possibly let you go.’
He felt Jeeves’s head rest against his, and tightened his embrace. ‘It’s you, Jeeves,’ he went on. ‘You’re my one and only. You know I’ve been inspired to propose marriage more than once, but I’ve truly never been so…’ he shook his head, at a loss for words. ‘Well, anyway-that’s the way it is, I can’t change it any more than I can change the fact that Aunt Agatha’s my aunt.’ A smile began to form on his features. ‘I wouldn’t even if I could. You, that is, I mean, not Aunt Agatha.’
Jeeves drew back from the embrace and kissed Bertie’s hand. ‘I understand, sir.’
‘I know it must seem as if I’m whining over my own plight and ignoring yours, Jeeves, but honestly, old thing, I don’t see it as some personal burden that I can just cast off when it becomes to heavy. I know you’re carrying it too. We both share the same plight, I mean, and when I start lamenting the way things are, I’m thinking of you as well as myself.’
‘I know.’
‘On occasions like the frightful dinner we just had, for example, the thing that bothers me the most is the thought that you might feel as though I’ve forgotten about you, when I’m sitting there not even looking at you while you float about at the edge of the room watching us all eat.’
Jeeves shook his head. ‘No, sir.’
‘It couldn’t be more to the opposite,’ Bertie said, gazing down at the floor. ‘You’re more important to me than anyone sitting at that table.’
‘I am grateful for your reassurance,’ Jeeves said. ‘However, I am generally aware of what topics may be uppermost in your mind at a given time.’
‘Oh,’ Bertie said, with a faint frown. ‘How’s that? For the most part, I’ve been wearing a jolly convincing mask.’
Jeeves smiled indulgently. ‘Convincing enough. However, your facades are rarely difficult for me to penetrate.’
Their eyes met and held for a moment; then Bertie looked away, blushing. A short silence followed until Bertie scratched his head and coughed.
‘Anyhow, Jeeves-I don’t know what we’re to do about the lack of privacy in our day-to-day lives. The only option that occurs is that we retire from all society in a log cabin somewhere.’
Jeeves smiled. ‘I fear such a lifestyle would hardly appeal you, sir. These months have been particularly trying, I agree, and I am as desperate as you are for us both to escape together. But my desperation doesn’t mean therefore that the situation is hopeless.’
Bertie nodded.
‘And sir?’
‘Yes?’
‘I have no doubt that when we find ourselves alone once more, the bond between us will be stronger than ever.’
Bertie nodded again, somewhat ruefully. He had previously expressed an anxiety that their passion for each other might not survive so many weeks of concealment.
‘I hope you’re right. I hope it will.’
‘I know it will, sir.’ Jeeves took his hand and kissed it. ‘I suppressed my feelings for you for a long time. Two months more didn’t signify; another day certainly doesn’t.’
Bertie sighed. ‘How do you manage to be so patient?’
Jeeves smiled. ‘I remind myself, sir, that this frustrating time is a mere two months, in comparison with the years that we scarcely dared acknowledge the truth. I think of the years we have been together, and how deeply our affection developed over that time, in spite of our silence. I recall, often, of the first night we spent together, and our conversation the following day.’ He coughed. ‘I think of that very often, sir. And then I look ahead, sir, to the moment when we are alone together again.’
‘But doesn’t all this acting-as-though-nothing-happened stuff grate on your nerves? You do it so dashed well it almost convinces me.’
‘It is wearing, sir.’
‘You know, every day I wake up thinking that your loving me is all a dream, and it’s hours, sometimes, before I’m convinced that it’s actually real. It makes me feel so on edge, and apart from the terror of being discovered, I think my greatest fear is that we might end up living the majority of our life together just like this-hiding the truth, and having this awful distance between us.’
‘Sir…’ Jeeves muttered, ‘no.’ He drew Bertie close against him, surrounding him with his arms. ‘There may be periods of temporary unpleasantness, like this,’ he whispered in Bertie’s ear. ‘But the existence you describe is not how I intend for either of us to live. We will find a way, sir. I would never allow us to live utterly repressed.’
Bertie sighed, leaning against him tiredly.
‘There is never any distance between us, sir,’ Jeeves continued, ‘there is only the appearance of it. Allow others to be misled by it, but do not let it deceive yourself.’
Bertie laughed softly. ‘You must remember, Jeeves, that I’m not particularly bright,’ he said. ‘It’s hard for me to believe in things that I can’t see.’
Jeeves shook his head. ‘Sir, I love you.’
Bertie sighed deeply against Jeeves’s shoulder. ‘Don’t call me “sir”.’
‘You must believe this, sir, however things might appear,’ Jeeves said softly. ‘When you see me going about my duties, when there is company present, I promise you that I am always thinking of you.’
Bertie drew back from the embrace to look at him.
‘I know,’ he whispered. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything.’
‘There is nothing you need apologise for,’ Jeeves said. ‘If you only knew how much you have given me, you would not consider apologising.’
‘I haven’t given you a thing, Jeeves, other than a lot of idiotic problems. What you see in me, I can’t imagine.’
Jeeves smiled, and kissed him. It was a mere kiss on the cheek, but it was also the most intimate physical interaction they’d had since the previous night, and though Jeeves would not allow things to be pushed along any further, Bertie was not about to let the moment end. It was some minutes, therefore, before they parted once more.
‘If we are to catch the Blue Train tomorrow, sir, I must finish the packing tonight.’
Bertie sighed. ‘All right. You’re right.’
Jeeves left Bertie’s side and returned, once more, to the suitcases. Bertie sighed, and settled himself back beneath the blankets, drawing up his knees as before.
‘By the way, Jeeves,’ he said, ‘I’ve been meaning to ask; why on earth did you decide to creep up behind me and pour me more wine, right at the moment everyone was looking at me all squiggle-eyed?’
‘I am sorry, sir. I fear I allowed my feelings to overcome my better judgement at that particular moment. You appeared distressed, sir, and-’
‘And what?’
Jeeves fiddled with the strap on a box of collars. ‘I wanted to comfort you. But the only way I could do so was to refresh your glass, to remind you that I was there.’
Bertie swallowed, and smiled sadly. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t take it in the spirit it was intended.’
‘Not at all, sir. You are understandably tense and nervous at present. I thought you were aware of my presence behind you, or else I would not have risked startling you.’
Bertie closed his eyes. ‘I was aware of your presence, Jeeves. I always am. But I can’t always pinpoint precisely where it is.’
Jeeves smiled. ‘Would that be owing to my ability to float noiselessly, sir?’
That made Bertie smile, too.
‘Mostly because, in spite of your noiselessness, you have the sort of presence that just-just fills up a room, so you seem to be sort of everywhere. Omni-something is the word, I think.’
‘Omnipresent, sir?’
‘That’s the baby.’ He coughed. ‘I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, Jeeves, but I absolutely adore watching you pack.’
‘Indeed, sir?’
‘Yes. It varies a little depending on the circs, of course-if we’re about to lug ourselves off to Bumpleigh Hall, Steeple Bumpleigh, say, that casts a bit of a shadow over things. But overall, it makes me feel-well, at home, if you know what I mean. It’s jolly comforting. It reminds me that wherever I’m going, you’re always at my side, don’t you know. It feels so-dash it, what’s the word?’
‘Would “intimate” perhaps be the word for which you are groping, sir?’
Bertie smiled, gazing at him with unabashed devotion. ‘Yes. That’s what it is. Intimate. And I can’t tell you how happy it makes me.’
Jeeves finished buckling the last case and returned to Bertie’s side, fiddling a bit with the cuff of his shirt. Bertie shifted close to him, and when he spoke again, his voice was lower.
‘Your omnipresence goes beyond filling the room, you know, Jeeves. Sometimes I feel as if you’re right beside me-as if you’re as much a part of me as my own arm. Isn’t that positively daft?’
Jeeves shook his head, brushing a few specks of dust from the knees of his trousers. ‘No, sir, it isn’t.’
Bertie began stroking Jeeves’s sleeve. ‘It’s almost a bit unnerving,’ he murmured. ‘Tonight, at dinner, I felt-’ he uttered a laugh- ‘I felt as if you were next to me, just as you are now. As though you were invisible and holding me, secretly, while I was trying to chat to Kipper and Tuppy and everyone. I could scarcely look at anyone, it was so real.’
Jeeves breathed a short sigh; and in a manner that suggested that he’d had about enough of being a valet for that day, he turned towards Bertie and kissed him full on the mouth, his hands holding Bertie’s head at just the angle he wanted. When they finally parted, he still appeared calm, although he was breathing somewhat heavily.
Bertie panted and gazed at Jeeves, his eyes bright and his face flushed. ‘Oh, my...’
‘I did not anticipate that you could read my thoughts so precisely,’ Jeeves said quietly.
‘I certainly didn’t see that kiss coming,’ Bertie breathed. ‘Gosh, it’s like a drink of wine in a desert.’
‘At dinner, sir. You felt-’
‘Ah. You think I wasn’t imagining that sensation at the table, then? You were thinking something along those lines yourself?’
‘There were a few minutes,’ Jeeves admitted softly, ‘in which my thoughts began to drift in that direction, in spite of my efforts. It was shortly after I had served the soup.’
Bertie nodded with a pensive smile. When he looked at Jeeves again, he had to take a deep breath to steady himself. ‘Upon my word, Jeeves, we really need to be alone. Moments of telepathic passion between the courses at dinner doesn’t really satisfy, does it.’
‘I agree, sir.’
Bertie tentatively ran his hands over Jeeves’s chest, frowning as if trying to recall what it felt like unclothed.
‘If I had you completely alone right now-’ his eyes darkened, and he shook his head. ‘I can’t stop thinking about-about that last time, you know. That last proper time, I mean, in New York. I think about you murmuring things in my ear and how your hands felt, and-’ he stopped, abruptly. ‘Blast.’ He withdrew his hands, blushing hotly. ‘Damn it,’ he muttered. ‘I was trying not to think about those things.’
Jeeves shifted back a little, enabling Bertie to draw his knees up to his chest once more. Bertie fidgeted awkwardly, breathing hard.
‘I’m sorry, sir.’
‘Not your fault. My fault.’ Bertie glanced at him and smiled. ‘I’m an idiot for even thinking about it, I’m sorry.’ He reached for Jeeves’s hand and clenched his fingers around it tightly, biting his lip. ‘Jeeves,’ he muttered. ‘My dear Jeeves.’
Without either of them intending it, their lips found each other once more. They kissed, slowly, at Jeeves’s insistence, but deeply.
‘I want you so dreadfully,’ Bertie groaned.
Jeeves shook his head, closing his eyes as he attempted to refuse another kiss. ‘Tomorrow night, sir, we will be on the Blue Train to the Riviera.’
‘Yes, and we’ll be even more cooped up on the train than we are now.’
‘And the following day, sir, we will arrive at our hotel.’
‘Can’t you stay here with me tonight?’
Jeeves shook his head.
‘Just ten minutes, then,’ Bertie persisted. ‘Come on-please.’ He tried to kiss Jeeves again.
Jeeves gently resisted. ‘If you mean, sir-’
‘You know dashed well what I mean.’
Jeeves squeezed his hand tightly. ‘I can’t. I want to, sir, very much-’
‘I know you do,’ Bertie breathed.
‘But we cannot take such a risk, sir.’ He drew away slowly.
Bertie took a deep breath. ‘I’m being unfair, aren’t I.’ He rubbed his face briskly with both hands and shifted back until Jeeves was no longer within reach.
‘I am extremely sorry, sir.’
‘Don’t be. I’m the one who should be apologising, again. I’ve been complaining about your being too aloof and remote, but if you hadn’t been, I should never have got through this ordeal without giving everything away. You’ve been such a tower of strength, Jeeves; I don’t know how you do it. I’m absolutely in awe.’
Jeeves smiled. ‘As we have discussed before, sir, concealment is not nearly so difficult for me as it is for yourself.’
Bertie nodded, running his hands through his hair distractedly.
‘I don’t wish to lose your company, old thing, but I think perhaps you’d better go soonish, if you don’t mind.’
‘Very good, sir.’
‘Don’t be offended, old thing. It’s because as long as you’re here, I want to kiss you. And I can’t do that, because I’m getting stirred up.’
Jeeves nodded, with a smile. ‘Very good, sir.’ He took Bertie’s hand and kissed it. Bertie smiled, and settled against the pillows.
‘Good-night, then, Jeeves.’
Jeeves hesitated, looking at him.
‘Go on. You must be exhausted. Go and get some sleep.’
Jeeves considered, then leaned over and kissed Bertie’s cheek. ‘Sleep well, sir. I will be waking you early tomorrow.’
‘All right.’
Jeeves squeezed his hand and rose. After straightening Mr. Wooster’s sheets and placing his dressing-gown at the foot of the bed, he bowed, and withdrew to the door.
‘Good-night, sir.’
‘Good-night, Jeeves.’
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First chapter of prequel, The Beginning, this way...
I do hope you like it. I found this chapter hard to finish for some reason, so I hope it doesn't sound to laboured. Let me know what you think! In the next chapter, we'll be going back in time to a certain October in New York City...