Fic: Once More With Feeling, Chapter 14/14
Title: Once More With Feeling (14/14+Epilogue)
Rating: R
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, Blaine/Sebastian
Spoilers: -
Warnings:
Word Count: ~6100
Summary: After a long year of separation, things are finally looking up for Kurt and Blaine. They're ready to start their lives together in New York as an engaged couple. Everything is perfect.
Until it's suddenly not.
Torn apart by forces beyond their understanding, they find themselves alone, facing a world that is just not quite right anymore. A second first meeting of strangers on a staircase brings another chance for love, but is that chance enough for them to find their way back to each other, and can they break the spell before it's too late?
Disclaimer: The characters aren't my property, neither are any song lyrics within this story, just borrowing it all for a bit.
Notes: And here we are, the final chapter. Well there's an epilogue about to come, but that's mostly wrapping up loose ends and aftermath. So, now that we're here, let me take a moment to thank all of you for reading. I 've had fun writing it (with some frustration by the side XD), and I hope you enjoyed reading it, too.
And now, since once more I can't think of anything to say, on to the chapter!
Previously...
Chapter 14 - ...Are Finally Ending In A Blaze
Blaine couldn't stand hospitals. He had spent enough times in them to know that already. Of course, he had never been this afraid before. After Sadie Hawkins, he had stayed there in order to recover. Now he was waiting for examinations and results, only the continuing throbbing headache for company, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to deal with what was to come.
Sebastian had shown up before visiting hours had even begun, but Blaine had managed to send him off to school. He would have preferred not to be alone, sure, but he couldn't keep Sebastian here in good conscience. What he really wanted was Kurt to come back and to stay. It wasn't fair to Sebastian, who was so concerned, almost desperate even. But Blaine couldn't help it, he couldn't stop thinking about Kurt.
Maybe this was a reaction to Kurt leaving. Did Blaine just want him here now because he couldn't have him? He wasn't really that shallow, was he? But he had wanted Kurt there before, he had wanted him to tell the truth about what was going on, and now he wanted Kurt to be there while he waited for his results. But Kurt had left, and he kept wondering just what had happened - what could have happened that had Kurt change from worried and tender earlier that day to suddenly deciding that he couldn't be around Blaine anymore? At first, Blaine had assumed that Kurt had gotten sick of waiting, but now he wasn't so sure. Why would Kurt decide this right now, when Blaine needed him the most? Had he maybe decided at that point that he wasn't going to interfere with a relationship? Was he trying to minimize a conflict so Blaine could focus on getting better? But then why would he just abandon him like this? The more Blaine thought about it, the more confused he got.
In a way Blaine had expected Kurt to leave. After all, everybody did. Everybody except Sebastian. He had wondered what he would do to drive Kurt away. Now he'd probably never find out. But then again, he hadn't found out what had driven his parents away, or his friends at Dalton, or Cooper...
He had really thought he'd turned his life around... he had found friends, even a very close one, he had improved at school, he had started to build a life outside of his relationship... but it had all been an illusion. He still didn't have his family, his new friends were really Kurt's friends, and Kurt? Yeah, he had messed that up, too.
He should have cleared things up earlier. He had been leading Kurt on for way too long - first by not mentioning Sebastian, then by keeping Kurt close against his boyfriend's wishes, sleeping with him, of course, and then still not deciding what he wanted... It wouldn't be such a surprise if Kurt didn't want to wait around, just in case Blaine would finally make up his mind.
Except he'd promised.
He'd said he would be there, no matter what Blaine decided, that they'd be friends at least... and now he was leaving, just when Blaine needed him the most.
Blaine couldn't help it, he took his phone and selected Kurt's number again. He had tried calling about a dozen times since yesterday. He knew what he would hear, could by now tell exactly how many rings he had to wait for the mailbox to answer, could predict every tilt in Kurt's message, and by the end of it he wanted to throw his phone against the wall.
As he looked up, he was glad he hadn't, though, or else the girl standing in the door might have some complaints for him.
Surprised, Blaine sat up. “Rachel?”
She looked tired, and as if she'd been crying. Blaine felt all blood leave his face. If she looked like that... and his calls weren't answered... oh god, what if something had happened to Kurt?
“Rachel, what happened?” he asked, trying not to sound as panicked as he felt.
“You tell me, you're the one in the hospital,” Rachel said, obviously trying to sound more cheerful than she felt. “I brought you some tea, it's wonderful for the voice.”
“Thank you, Rachel,” Blaine said, hesitation in his voice, “although I'm not exactly here because of my voice.”
“I know, Kurt told me you were sick,” Rachel said, “well, among other things... and I really need to talk to you.”
“Is he okay?”
Rachel sighed. “It's... hard to tell,” she said.
“But nothing happened to him, right?”
At that, she shook her head. “Well, except for you,” she said, “but no, nothing happened to him.”
Blaine sank back into his pillows, relief flooding him. Kurt was fine.
Rachel sat down by his bedside. She still looked very serious as she turned to him.
“We need to talk about Kurt.”
He should have expected this - after all, he remembered that he had promised her not to lead him on, and he hadn't exactly done a stellar job at keeping that promise. He nodded at Rachel to continue.
“I know this isn't exactly easy for you. You obviously have a lot of issues in your relationship as well as a lot of pressure on you with school, and I understand that you're confused about your situation with Kurt. And don't pretend you just see him as a friend. It's obvious that you care about him more than that.”
“I do care about him,” Blaine said, “so much. But I also have a boyfriend that I love... and I still haven't figured things out, Rachel. Kurt is... I told him I don't know what I'm doing, or what I want, and he said it's okay, and that he'd wait for me to figure it out, and I was trying, and...” He sighed. “Does it even matter now? He already told me he can't be around me anymore.”
“I don't think that's true,” Rachel said, “not really. I know he made that decision, but he's miserable with it.“
“I don't want him to be miserable,” Blaine said, “I want him to be here.” He was aware that he sounded like a petulant child now, but he couldn't help it.
Rachel raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment on his tone. “I think being here is what made him miserable,” she said. “This is hard for him, too. And honestly, I'm not sure what you're so torn about, because let me tell you, that relationship you're having with Sebastian is extremely unhealthy, and you could by all means do a lot better.”
He had to admit that she had a point, somewhere buried in that run-on sentence. The truth was that he hadn't felt close to Sebastian in a long time. He remembered what Kurt had said, about how feelings could change over time... And at least Kurt had tried to be honest with him. If only he could remember what about...
“It's hard to see somebody you care about let themselves be treated badly,” Rachel continued, “and that's what it's like for Kurt. It's also hard for him because...” She hesitated, as if she wasn't sure she was allowed to say the next thing, but eventually she spoke. “Kurt loves you.”
“I love him too, but it's not that easy,” Blaine said - and froze.
Rachel too stared at him out of wide eyes. “What did you just say?”
Blaine gulped, but there was no doubt about the words he'd just said. “I... love him?” he said, testing the words again. “Oh my god...” He looked up at Rachel, as it finally dawned on him. “Rachel, I love him!”
The sound escaping her was impressively high-pitched, and a second later she was hugging him. Though it sent another spike of pain through his head, he hugged her back loosely while the thought still settled in his brain. It felt as if his skin was buzzing. He had known he had some sort of feelings for Kurt, but love... it was like finally getting the last piece of a puzzle, the missing link that explained everything else. Of course it was love. Now that he'd named it, he couldn't understand how he hadn't seen it before.
Rachel stepped back and actually twirled in the room. “You two will be so wonderful together,” she said, “I'm so happy for you!”
“Whoa, slow down there,” Blaine said, although there wasn't much conviction behind his words, “it's still not that easy.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let's see, I'm still in a relationship with someone else,” Blaine said, “and Kurt doesn't want to see me anymore. And the possible brain tumor, that's also there.”
“But you love Kurt,” Rachel said, “don't you want to be with him?”
“I...” Blaine hesitated. He could so easily imagine it, what it would be like to have a future with Kurt, to walk down the streets together, steal kisses between classes, hold each other when things got tough... to see Kurt's smile everyday, and to be able to think of that wonderful boy as his boyfriend... to feel warm, and loved and... happy...
“Do you?” Rachel asked.
The yes was at the tip of his tongue, but what he said was, “I don't know, Rachel.” He yearned to say yes, but... Everything about it was scary. Even if he wanted to be with Kurt, there were lots of other issues that would come with that. There was breaking up with Sebastian after two years - a thought that wasn't as scary as it had been only a few weeks ago, but it still was unsettling. He'd have to find a place to live, too. And then he didn't know how to get Kurt to talk to him. Also, he'd really like Kurt's input on all of it before making a final decision... which wasn't fair, either, because in the end it was something Blaine had to decide himself. But how was he supposed to make this choice?
“I need more time, Rachel,” he said eventually. And wasn't that what he always said, that he needed more time, by which he really meant that he was too scared to make a decision? Why couldn't he just get his act together?
“Well, you don't have any more time, Blaine!” Finally, Rachel seemed to have run out of patience. “Kurt is leaving.”
“What?” Blaine sat up straight in his bed. “Where? Why?!”
“To Ohio, and why do you think?”
Blaine felt as if the ground underneath him just disappeared. This wasn't supposed to happen. “But... all his life is here in New York,” he protested.
“Don't you think I haven't told him that? But he's made his decision and when it comes to those, he's really stubborn,” Rachel said. “Look, I can see that you have issues, and I can respect your conflict, but you have to know what you want, and you have to know it right now. Because Kurt is going to Ohio, and who knows how long he's going to stay there? If you don't know right now if you want to be with him, then that is a decision, too. But if you want to be with him...”
“Then what?”
“Then get your ass out of bed, to the train station and tell him that you love him. But you have to choose - now.”
Put like that, suddenly there was nothing simpler in the world.
“Let's go.”
By the time they arrived at the station, Blaine wasn't completely sure anymore it had been the best idea to leave the hospital. The nurses probably would have had some protests over that anyway, but Rachel had distracted them long enough for him to sneak out. But now, following her through the crowds of New York, he could feel that he really wasn't alright. He felt weak, almost dizzy. When he looked at his hands for a moment they seemed to be shaking, and his head felt as if there was a jackhammer inside.
But it didn't matter, not when he saw Kurt at the far end of the platform, staring into nothing. Nothing mattered in that moment, and it only encouraged Blaine in his decision.
Rachel was walking in front of him now, already waving and calling for Kurt, and only then did Blaine notice that he had stopped. He closed his eyes for a few long, deliberate breaths, before he opened them and followed after her. He could see the sad little smile on Kurt's face as he recognized Rachel. He hadn't seen Blaine yet, apparently.
Rachel reached up to hug Kurt, then she stepped back and smiled at him, excitement shining through her eyes. “I guess I'll let you talk for a moment,” she said.
Kurt frowned. “What do you...” He looked up before he finished the sentence, and Blaine stepped right into his line of sight. Kurt's eyes widened and he inhaled sharply. “Blaine,” he whispered.
It didn't even register how Rachel stepped back and then walked away to give them some privacy. It didn't matter, either. Blaine stepped forward. This was scary too, but in spite of that he felt calmer than he had in a long time.
“Kurt,” he said, “Rachel told me you were leaving, and I just...I had to see you. I know you said you didn't want to talk to me, but this is important.”
Kurt stared at him as if in shock. When he spoke, his voice sounded higher than usual and almost breathless. “What are you doing here? You should be in the hospital!”
Blaine shook his head. “I'll get the tests done some other time,” he said, “this is more important.”
But Kurt wasn't having it. “I'm not talking about the tests, you look like you'll collapse any second!”
“I'm fine,” Blaine said, “and that's not why I'm here.” This was already not going quite the way he had hoped it would. He had hoped that Kurt would be at least a little happy to see him. Instead, Kurt was shaking his head now, and looked at him as if he was... scared. As if this was not what should be happening. It wasn't encouraging, but maybe that was the point - maybe he needed to risk something for once, just go with something that he knew was right even though it wasn't the safe choice. “Rachel told me that you were leaving,” Blaine repeated, “and it made me realize something.”
“No, Blaine, please don't,” Kurt muttered, “not now. We'll talk when I'm back from Ohio, I promise, but not now, please.”
“When's that going to be?” Blaine asked.
“I don't know yet, but we can't-”
“No. We can, and we have to, Kurt,” Blaine said, his voice filled with a determination he didn't know he had, “because if we don't you're going to leave, and it will be my fault. I can't live with that.”
“Yes, Blaine, you can!” There was something very similar to despair in Kurt's voice. “You'll live with it, and I swear I will be back so we can figure everything out, but right now I have to leave.”
“Why?”
“Because...” Kurt stopped, and for a moment Blaine worried he had pushed too far. “It's for your own good, Blaine,” Kurt continued eventually, and his voice sounded pleading now, “because I'm not what you need right now. I'm not... not good for you, not at the moment.”
“You're the one good thing in my life, Kurt,” Blaine said. A weird feeling of calm was settling inside him. The situation was still hectic, but right now he knew who he was, what he wanted... what he needed. “Actually, you're the only thing in my life that feels right. And I'm sorry for how I've acted these past few weeks. I knew there was something between us, and then I tried to deny it. I always kept you waiting, just because I couldn't make up my mind... because I was too afraid to make changes in my life. I kept telling you that I couldn't choose, or that I needed more time, but I think the truth is that I didn't want to choose, because I was too scared of what would happen if I did. But you see - I'm not scared anymore. Not when I realized that the one thing I couldn't bear was to lose you. I just... I can't. I'm in love with you, Kurt, and I'm so, so sorry that it took me this long to realize it. I want to be with you - if you'll still have me.”
Kurt looked... well, conflicted. While Blaine had talked, he'd kept a close eye on Kurt's face, at the happiness that had appeared, a look that Blaine just dared to hope was love... but still the same despair that had taken hold of him before.
“Blaine, I...” He stopped trying to collect himself, but still had to start a few times until he found his voice again. “What about him?”
Blaine lowered his head. “I'm... I'm leaving him,” he said. “Remember when you asked me why I keep saying that I know I love him? You were right. What I feel for Sebastian? That's more what I know, not how I feel. It's like I know the fact that the highest mountain is the Mount Everest. I've never been there, I haven't seen it... I just know it. But with you? It's like actually standing on top of the world. I don't need to know it, I do. I love you, Kurt.”
Kurt looked as if he was close to tears, and his shoulders sagged as if in defeat. His voice barely rose above a whisper. “I love you, too.”
Blaine gasped. He had expected it, but it was different to actually hear it, to have it confirmed as true. Now really everything was in place. He could feel a completely stupid grin forming on his face. He put a hand on Kurt's cheek and stroked it softly.
“I love you,” Kurt repeated, “but I can't be with you. Not now, and I'm so sorry, but-”
“You love me,” Blaine said, ignoring the rest. “And I love you.”
Kurt opened his mouth, maybe for another protest, but he didn't get to utter a word. Blaine leaned upwards and just brought their lips together.
Kissing Kurt had always felt more amazing than any kiss Blaine could remember. Everything with Kurt had felt incredibly intense, really. But this kiss, now that he knew it was love... it was perfect. Kurt opened up under his lips, let him in and welcomed him. There was a noise, almost a moan, out of his throat, as he moved his lips against Kurt's and let his arms wander around him to hold him close. Kurt returned the embrace, pulled him close, as if he wanted to mold them together. It was the most amazing feeling, as if he was walking on air, as if the ground didn't exist. He felt even more light-headed now, everything was... surreal, but wonderful.
Except... now he really couldn't feel the ground under his feet. And he shouldn't feel this light-headed. This was more dizzy than light-headed. Kurt's arms were all that kept him from falling now.
And then... they weren't.
Nerida was sitting at her spinning wheel, making it turn too fast for any human eye to follow, when she felt the first gush of wind. Her eyebrows rose, and for the first time in centuries, she felt surprised. But that wasn't the only unfamiliar feeling. She could taste a storm coming in the air, and she knew she should be able to recognize the phenomenon. But it had never happened to her.
She still knew, what it was.
The spinning wheel stopped. The storm was coming, and if she wanted to fulfill her duty she would have to hurry.
It felt so perfect, Kurt could have cried. There was Blaine, back where he belonged, warm and solid in his arms, and kissing him.
Blaine loved him. Despite the curse, and all those false memories ideas and memories in his head, Blaine loved him. It didn't change that they couldn't be together for now, and Kurt knew he had to catch a train, find a fairy godmother and raise all sorts of hell to find a way to save Blaine from the curse... but he could indulge one last time, couldn't he? If he had to leave, he'd take the kiss with him.
It felt ridiculously intense, and from the way Blaine was shuddering in his arms, Kurt had a feeling he wasn't the only one. But then, he realized something was off. Blaine's lips stopped moving against him, and his whole body seemed to grow heavier, as if he couldn't hold himself completely upright anymore.
With all his willpower Kurt managed to tear his lips away from Blaine. The other boy didn't follow, just looked at Kurt in confusion.
“Blaine?” Kurt whispered.
The only answer was a throaty sound, somewhere between a groan and a shout, then Blaine rolled his eyes up so far that for a moment Kurt could only see the white - and like a tree, he fell.
It was so fast that Kurt couldn't even think of catching him. Before Blaine hit the ground his body started thrashing. There was a scream, and Kurt wasn't sure whether it had come from him or someone else. Before him, Blaine was on the ground, seizing, hitting his head with every new convulsion. There was froth around his mouth, slowly turning red, and his eyes were wide open.
Kurt fell to his knees. He tried to hold Blaine's body still, but the force of his movements was too strong. He could do nothing, only call for help.
And then, after what felt like hours, Blaine's body stopped moving completely.
Sebastian's mind wasn't on the lecture. His thoughts were running in circles, always drawn back to Blaine. He was scared and alone, waiting at the hospital, and Sebastian knew that it was his fault. Blaine was even more desperate, and as much as Sebastian hated to admit it, he knew that it was because Kurt had left. That too, had been a selfish decision on his own part, and he should feel guilty about it.
He wouldn't have admitted it to Kurt, but Sebastian knew that it was over. They couldn't break the spell, and he knew Blaine wouldn't fall in love with him anytime soon - definitely not soon enough to stabilize it. Blaine was dying, and there was nothing he could do about it. Was it terribly selfish to send Kurt away, just so he could spent that last time alone with Blaine?
It probably was, but if he was asked again, he would make the same choice. And who knew? Maybe it would even work?
There was a murmur going through the room. Sebastian frowned. He hadn't been paying attention, but it was unusual behavior for his fellow students. The murmur got louder, and suddenly, Sebastian realized that it wasn't voices he heard. It sounded more like leaves rustling in the wind. The louder it got, the more it sounded like a storm. But none of the other students or the professor seemed to even notice.
Fear spread through Sebastian. Something was wrong... and it felt as if it was coming for him.
Just when he had come to that realization, an unseen force pulled him out of his chair and threw him to the ground. A scream was ripped from his throat as his arms flailed. There was a commotion around him. Now, the other students had noticed. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was the figure appearing in his vision, her bright blue eyes a calm influence he recognized from his childhood.
He wanted to call out to Nerida, to have her explain what was going on with him, but she shook her head, and then the world turned dark.
Kurt wasn't even sure how he had made it to the emergency room. Everything seemed to be a blur in his mind, the only thing that he could think of was how Blaine had looked on the ground, thrashing, bleeding... He had vague memories of the ride in the ambulance, Rachel must have somehow talked the EMTs to let him come along. It didn't even matter. He wasn't sure if anything would ever matter again.
What if Blaine was actually dying? Because if he was... then Kurt would have killed him. With one kiss, one stupid kiss that he just couldn't resist... He knew that Blaine was in danger, that until he found a way to actually break the curse the only thing that could save him was if he actually fell in love with Sebastian. How exactly was Kurt helping with that by admitting that he loved Blaine? Why on earth couldn't he have lied, or just kept his mouth shut?
Rachel was sitting beside him, clutching his hands so tight that it was painful, but at least it anchored Kurt in the present. She was talking too, comforting words that eventually meant nothing. He almost wanted to yell at her to stop it, that he didn't deserve comfort, but he held back. Rachel didn't know what was going on. She had only seen Blaine collapse and seize, and probably the kiss, but she didn't know about the curse. She couldn't understand that this was Kurt's fault.
“He's going to be okay,” Rachel said softly.
“You don't know that,” Kurt replied. “I can't believe I did this to him...”
“What are you talking about? You didn't do anything. He just... I don't know why this happened, but how could this possibly be your fault?”
He shook his head. The story was too strange, and now wasn't the time. He couldn't even concentrate long enough. Every time his eyes closed, he saw Blaine again, on the floor, thrashing around violently, and... god, he couldn't.
“How long does this even take?” he asked.
“Look, I know you're scared,” Rachel said, “but please calm down. You heard the EMT, right? It's probably nothing, it's just a seizure - a lot of people have those, they're not even that dangerous!”
Kurt actually had heard that part, but hadn't focused on it. “What about the part where he should have woken up right after?”
Rachel obviously didn't have an answer to that.
“How long have we been here?” Kurt asked. It felt like it had been hours. The kiss seemed to him as if it had happened on another day...
“Almost an hour,” Rachel said checking the watch. “Look, Kurt, please calm down, you're not helping him by driving yourself insane, and you did not cause this.”
“But I-”
“Mr. Hummel?”
Kurt looked up to find a doctor standing in front of him. He rose to his feet without even realizing it. His heart seemed to stop for a moment and he felt shivers running through his body. This was it. Now he would find out - and suddenly, he wished he could stay in this state of not knowing forever. He'd rather never know than hear that Blaine... that he...
“Is he okay?” Rachel asked in his place when Kurt only managed to stare without saying a word.
The doctor looked almost bored at first, but now she looked from Rachel to Kurt and took in their panicked state. Her demeanor changed completely.
“There is no reason for you to worry,” she said with a softer tone in her voice now, “your fiancé suffered an epileptic seizure. He's fine now.”
“Fine?” Kurt repeated. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was he getting another chance after all?
“I know that seizures like that can seem quite dramatic and unsettling, but you don't have to worry. They're not especially harmful. We were only worried because he didn't wake up immediately after the attack, so we gave him a brain scan - that I believe he was scheduled for anyway before he decided to leave the hospital without notifying anybody. Anyway, we found no lesions, no bleeding, no tumor. His brain is alright.”
“So... he's okay?” Kurt said. “He's... awake now?”
The doctor nodded. “Though I should warn you. He woke up at the end of the MRI and suffered a panic attack inside the machine. We had to sedate him, but he's awake, and he's asking for you.” She smiled at him encouragingly.
A sound came from him that was close to a sob, and he sank into himself. Blaine was okay, it wasn't too late, he was fine... He was alive, and awake, and...
Rachel hugged him tightly. He felt tears rolling down his face, now that the fear and tension finally dissolved.
The doctor looked at him warmly. “If you'll come with me?” she said. “Your fiancé's waiting.”
Another shock went through Kurt. He couldn't see Blaine. He had just almost killed him, if he saw him now he'd just make it even worse. He had to leave, to go to Ohio and fix this and...
Had she said...?
“Fiancé,” he muttered. After all this time even the word felt unfamiliar on his tongue.
“Yes, your fiancé,” Rachel said beside him. “What are you waiting for? Go!”
Kurt stared at her. “What?” he said.
“Blaine!” Rachel said, the warmth now replaced by impatience. “Your fiancé, remember? The one you were just going insane about?”
Kurt blinked. Of course he knew... but since when did Rachel? Since when did anyone? What was going on now? The curse had altered everybody's memories, they couldn't know.
Unless there was no curse anymore - unless the curse was broken. But how?
Both Rachel and the doctor looked at him impatiently. He'd figure it out later.
“Where is he?”
Once more, he found Blaine lying in a hospital bed. His eyes were closed, but he was clearly breathing. There was a monitor near him, and though it was silent Kurt could see that the heart beat was calm and regular.
“Blaine?” he asked. His voice was breaking. He stepped into the room, closer to Blaine's bed and eventually took his hand. “Blaine?” he repeated louder.
And then, Blaine's eyelids fluttered open. He blinked a few times, before he looked up. “Kurt?” he whispered. His eyes widened, and he started to sit up. Immediately, Kurt surged forward to stabilize him. With a sigh, Blaine sank into his arms. “You're here,” he muttered. “You're actually here.”
“Of course I'm here,” Kurt said, “are you okay? How do you feel?”
Blaine shook his head. “I don't know. Tired, mostly. And kind of numb, but I think that's the drugs. I just...” He pushed Kurt away enough to look into his eyes. “What was that?” he asked. “One moment we're kissing, and then I wake up in that machine? And it's like there's a waterfall of memories crashing into my brain, and I don't... It doesn't make sense, nothing does, it's... did I live with Sebastian ? And then I met you... again? But I didn't remember, and it's all... I don't understand. None of it makes sense, I just... what has happened? I can't... I don't... Kurt, please...”
As he spoke, he was getting slightly worked up again - and that was with the numbing effect from the drugs. To have all these impressions crash onto him after he just woke up... god, no wonder Blaine had suffered a panic attack. And it looked, like he was well on his way to the next one. That wouldn't do. Kurt pulled him close again and started talking softly into his ear to calm him down. “It's okay, Blaine, it's over, it's all over now, you're going to be alright.”
“I just don't understand,” Blaine said, his voice shaky. “Kurt, just tell me what happened.”
Kurt nodded. “Alright, I will,” she said. He pulled back and put his hands onto Blaine's. “But when it's too much, you tell me, okay? I just... I don't want to overwhelm you.”
Blaine laughed softly. “I'm beyond overwhelmed, Kurt,” he said. “Just... tell me.”
And so, Kurt started talking. He started from the beginning, or as far as he could guess the beginning was, with what Sebastian had done, what the curse had caused as far as he knew, over their second first meeting to the point when Kurt had found out thanks to Isabelle just what was going on. Blaine stayed surprisingly calm during the whole tale, although that might have been due to the drugs they'd given him. Even when Kurt started on how dangerous things had become to him, he didn't seem afraid. He kept completely calm without interruption, until Kurt arrived at the point where he had decided to go to Ohio to find Nerida. At that point, a flash of hurt appeared on Blaine's face.
“You were going to leave me with him?” he asked.
“No! That was the last thing I wanted,” Kurt said, “but don't you see, I thought I was killing you, Blaine. I was just trying to find a way to get you out of this alive.”
Blaine nodded. “I... sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that. And you did save me. But... how?”
Kurt frowned. “I'm not sure,” he admitted. He thought back on everything he knew about the curse, everything Isabelle had told him and...
“The kiss,” Blaine said. “Just like Isabelle said, right? True love's kiss breaks the curse.”
Kurt's eyes widened. After that first failed attempt he hadn't even thought about trying it again. Could he have stopped this weeks ago? But they had kissed that night after thanksgiving...
“I should have kissed you before,” Kurt said.
Blaine shook his head. “I... I don't think it would have worked before. I'm so sorry, I was just... I was scared. And conflicted. I just realized what you mean to me when I thought I'd lose you.” He looked up now and there was so much pain in his eyes. “I'm sorry,” he said, “I am so sorry you were put through all this. I do love you, Kurt, I love you so much, and all this... I'm sorry.”
“What? No! This isn't your fault,” Kurt said and squeezed Blaine's hands in his, “this is Sebastian's fault. He did this to you. And we still found each other again, in spite of everything he did. Let's just focus on that - that we still found our way back to each other.”
Blaine looked into his eyes as if he was searching for something. Whatever it was, he seemed to find it. He nodded, and the tension started to fade.
“Thank you for not giving up on me,” he said.
“Never,” Kurt said. The tears he was blinking away now weren't from fear or sadness anymore, but he was overflowing with relief. It was over. He could hardly believe it, that they had finally gotten it right, that Blaine was safe, and still alive, and...
“Are you okay?”
Blaine hesitated. “I don't know. I'm relieved, but I'm also still freaked out,” he said, “it's just a lot to take in. I still can't believe this all really happened. It feels more like a nightmare.”
Kurt pulled him closer. “I know. But it's over now, Blaine, and we did it.”
Blaine didn't answer, just hid his face against Kurt's shoulder.
“Maybe we should talk to Isabelle. Just, maybe it will help you deal with what happened?”
“Maybe...” Blaine said. “Can you just stay with me, right now? I think I need you here.”
“You've got me,” Kurt whispered. Careful not to disturb any wires, he climbed into the bed beside Blaine and pulled him back into an embrace. With a relieved sigh, Blaine cuddled against him and held him impossibly close.
“And...” Blaine continued, “kiss me again?”
“Promise you won't have a seizure?”
Blaine blinked in confusion, and for a moment Kurt feared he had misjudged the situation, but then Blaine started laughing, loud and free, and maybe it would have turned hysterical without the drugs, but he calmed down eventually.
“Just come here,” he said and pulled Kurt in.
Kurt went willingly, and kissed him, pouring everything he felt into it. It was over, they were free and could be together again, and Blaine was safe.
Finally, everything was back where it belonged.
Epilogue
Rating: R
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, Blaine/Sebastian
Spoilers: -
Warnings:
Word Count: ~6100
Summary: After a long year of separation, things are finally looking up for Kurt and Blaine. They're ready to start their lives together in New York as an engaged couple. Everything is perfect.
Until it's suddenly not.
Torn apart by forces beyond their understanding, they find themselves alone, facing a world that is just not quite right anymore. A second first meeting of strangers on a staircase brings another chance for love, but is that chance enough for them to find their way back to each other, and can they break the spell before it's too late?
Disclaimer: The characters aren't my property, neither are any song lyrics within this story, just borrowing it all for a bit.
Notes: And here we are, the final chapter. Well there's an epilogue about to come, but that's mostly wrapping up loose ends and aftermath. So, now that we're here, let me take a moment to thank all of you for reading. I 've had fun writing it (with some frustration by the side XD), and I hope you enjoyed reading it, too.
And now, since once more I can't think of anything to say, on to the chapter!
Previously...
Chapter 14 - ...Are Finally Ending In A Blaze
Blaine couldn't stand hospitals. He had spent enough times in them to know that already. Of course, he had never been this afraid before. After Sadie Hawkins, he had stayed there in order to recover. Now he was waiting for examinations and results, only the continuing throbbing headache for company, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to deal with what was to come.
Sebastian had shown up before visiting hours had even begun, but Blaine had managed to send him off to school. He would have preferred not to be alone, sure, but he couldn't keep Sebastian here in good conscience. What he really wanted was Kurt to come back and to stay. It wasn't fair to Sebastian, who was so concerned, almost desperate even. But Blaine couldn't help it, he couldn't stop thinking about Kurt.
Maybe this was a reaction to Kurt leaving. Did Blaine just want him here now because he couldn't have him? He wasn't really that shallow, was he? But he had wanted Kurt there before, he had wanted him to tell the truth about what was going on, and now he wanted Kurt to be there while he waited for his results. But Kurt had left, and he kept wondering just what had happened - what could have happened that had Kurt change from worried and tender earlier that day to suddenly deciding that he couldn't be around Blaine anymore? At first, Blaine had assumed that Kurt had gotten sick of waiting, but now he wasn't so sure. Why would Kurt decide this right now, when Blaine needed him the most? Had he maybe decided at that point that he wasn't going to interfere with a relationship? Was he trying to minimize a conflict so Blaine could focus on getting better? But then why would he just abandon him like this? The more Blaine thought about it, the more confused he got.
In a way Blaine had expected Kurt to leave. After all, everybody did. Everybody except Sebastian. He had wondered what he would do to drive Kurt away. Now he'd probably never find out. But then again, he hadn't found out what had driven his parents away, or his friends at Dalton, or Cooper...
He had really thought he'd turned his life around... he had found friends, even a very close one, he had improved at school, he had started to build a life outside of his relationship... but it had all been an illusion. He still didn't have his family, his new friends were really Kurt's friends, and Kurt? Yeah, he had messed that up, too.
He should have cleared things up earlier. He had been leading Kurt on for way too long - first by not mentioning Sebastian, then by keeping Kurt close against his boyfriend's wishes, sleeping with him, of course, and then still not deciding what he wanted... It wouldn't be such a surprise if Kurt didn't want to wait around, just in case Blaine would finally make up his mind.
Except he'd promised.
He'd said he would be there, no matter what Blaine decided, that they'd be friends at least... and now he was leaving, just when Blaine needed him the most.
Blaine couldn't help it, he took his phone and selected Kurt's number again. He had tried calling about a dozen times since yesterday. He knew what he would hear, could by now tell exactly how many rings he had to wait for the mailbox to answer, could predict every tilt in Kurt's message, and by the end of it he wanted to throw his phone against the wall.
As he looked up, he was glad he hadn't, though, or else the girl standing in the door might have some complaints for him.
Surprised, Blaine sat up. “Rachel?”
She looked tired, and as if she'd been crying. Blaine felt all blood leave his face. If she looked like that... and his calls weren't answered... oh god, what if something had happened to Kurt?
“Rachel, what happened?” he asked, trying not to sound as panicked as he felt.
“You tell me, you're the one in the hospital,” Rachel said, obviously trying to sound more cheerful than she felt. “I brought you some tea, it's wonderful for the voice.”
“Thank you, Rachel,” Blaine said, hesitation in his voice, “although I'm not exactly here because of my voice.”
“I know, Kurt told me you were sick,” Rachel said, “well, among other things... and I really need to talk to you.”
“Is he okay?”
Rachel sighed. “It's... hard to tell,” she said.
“But nothing happened to him, right?”
At that, she shook her head. “Well, except for you,” she said, “but no, nothing happened to him.”
Blaine sank back into his pillows, relief flooding him. Kurt was fine.
Rachel sat down by his bedside. She still looked very serious as she turned to him.
“We need to talk about Kurt.”
He should have expected this - after all, he remembered that he had promised her not to lead him on, and he hadn't exactly done a stellar job at keeping that promise. He nodded at Rachel to continue.
“I know this isn't exactly easy for you. You obviously have a lot of issues in your relationship as well as a lot of pressure on you with school, and I understand that you're confused about your situation with Kurt. And don't pretend you just see him as a friend. It's obvious that you care about him more than that.”
“I do care about him,” Blaine said, “so much. But I also have a boyfriend that I love... and I still haven't figured things out, Rachel. Kurt is... I told him I don't know what I'm doing, or what I want, and he said it's okay, and that he'd wait for me to figure it out, and I was trying, and...” He sighed. “Does it even matter now? He already told me he can't be around me anymore.”
“I don't think that's true,” Rachel said, “not really. I know he made that decision, but he's miserable with it.“
“I don't want him to be miserable,” Blaine said, “I want him to be here.” He was aware that he sounded like a petulant child now, but he couldn't help it.
Rachel raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment on his tone. “I think being here is what made him miserable,” she said. “This is hard for him, too. And honestly, I'm not sure what you're so torn about, because let me tell you, that relationship you're having with Sebastian is extremely unhealthy, and you could by all means do a lot better.”
He had to admit that she had a point, somewhere buried in that run-on sentence. The truth was that he hadn't felt close to Sebastian in a long time. He remembered what Kurt had said, about how feelings could change over time... And at least Kurt had tried to be honest with him. If only he could remember what about...
“It's hard to see somebody you care about let themselves be treated badly,” Rachel continued, “and that's what it's like for Kurt. It's also hard for him because...” She hesitated, as if she wasn't sure she was allowed to say the next thing, but eventually she spoke. “Kurt loves you.”
“I love him too, but it's not that easy,” Blaine said - and froze.
Rachel too stared at him out of wide eyes. “What did you just say?”
Blaine gulped, but there was no doubt about the words he'd just said. “I... love him?” he said, testing the words again. “Oh my god...” He looked up at Rachel, as it finally dawned on him. “Rachel, I love him!”
The sound escaping her was impressively high-pitched, and a second later she was hugging him. Though it sent another spike of pain through his head, he hugged her back loosely while the thought still settled in his brain. It felt as if his skin was buzzing. He had known he had some sort of feelings for Kurt, but love... it was like finally getting the last piece of a puzzle, the missing link that explained everything else. Of course it was love. Now that he'd named it, he couldn't understand how he hadn't seen it before.
Rachel stepped back and actually twirled in the room. “You two will be so wonderful together,” she said, “I'm so happy for you!”
“Whoa, slow down there,” Blaine said, although there wasn't much conviction behind his words, “it's still not that easy.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let's see, I'm still in a relationship with someone else,” Blaine said, “and Kurt doesn't want to see me anymore. And the possible brain tumor, that's also there.”
“But you love Kurt,” Rachel said, “don't you want to be with him?”
“I...” Blaine hesitated. He could so easily imagine it, what it would be like to have a future with Kurt, to walk down the streets together, steal kisses between classes, hold each other when things got tough... to see Kurt's smile everyday, and to be able to think of that wonderful boy as his boyfriend... to feel warm, and loved and... happy...
“Do you?” Rachel asked.
The yes was at the tip of his tongue, but what he said was, “I don't know, Rachel.” He yearned to say yes, but... Everything about it was scary. Even if he wanted to be with Kurt, there were lots of other issues that would come with that. There was breaking up with Sebastian after two years - a thought that wasn't as scary as it had been only a few weeks ago, but it still was unsettling. He'd have to find a place to live, too. And then he didn't know how to get Kurt to talk to him. Also, he'd really like Kurt's input on all of it before making a final decision... which wasn't fair, either, because in the end it was something Blaine had to decide himself. But how was he supposed to make this choice?
“I need more time, Rachel,” he said eventually. And wasn't that what he always said, that he needed more time, by which he really meant that he was too scared to make a decision? Why couldn't he just get his act together?
“Well, you don't have any more time, Blaine!” Finally, Rachel seemed to have run out of patience. “Kurt is leaving.”
“What?” Blaine sat up straight in his bed. “Where? Why?!”
“To Ohio, and why do you think?”
Blaine felt as if the ground underneath him just disappeared. This wasn't supposed to happen. “But... all his life is here in New York,” he protested.
“Don't you think I haven't told him that? But he's made his decision and when it comes to those, he's really stubborn,” Rachel said. “Look, I can see that you have issues, and I can respect your conflict, but you have to know what you want, and you have to know it right now. Because Kurt is going to Ohio, and who knows how long he's going to stay there? If you don't know right now if you want to be with him, then that is a decision, too. But if you want to be with him...”
“Then what?”
“Then get your ass out of bed, to the train station and tell him that you love him. But you have to choose - now.”
Put like that, suddenly there was nothing simpler in the world.
“Let's go.”
By the time they arrived at the station, Blaine wasn't completely sure anymore it had been the best idea to leave the hospital. The nurses probably would have had some protests over that anyway, but Rachel had distracted them long enough for him to sneak out. But now, following her through the crowds of New York, he could feel that he really wasn't alright. He felt weak, almost dizzy. When he looked at his hands for a moment they seemed to be shaking, and his head felt as if there was a jackhammer inside.
But it didn't matter, not when he saw Kurt at the far end of the platform, staring into nothing. Nothing mattered in that moment, and it only encouraged Blaine in his decision.
Rachel was walking in front of him now, already waving and calling for Kurt, and only then did Blaine notice that he had stopped. He closed his eyes for a few long, deliberate breaths, before he opened them and followed after her. He could see the sad little smile on Kurt's face as he recognized Rachel. He hadn't seen Blaine yet, apparently.
Rachel reached up to hug Kurt, then she stepped back and smiled at him, excitement shining through her eyes. “I guess I'll let you talk for a moment,” she said.
Kurt frowned. “What do you...” He looked up before he finished the sentence, and Blaine stepped right into his line of sight. Kurt's eyes widened and he inhaled sharply. “Blaine,” he whispered.
It didn't even register how Rachel stepped back and then walked away to give them some privacy. It didn't matter, either. Blaine stepped forward. This was scary too, but in spite of that he felt calmer than he had in a long time.
“Kurt,” he said, “Rachel told me you were leaving, and I just...I had to see you. I know you said you didn't want to talk to me, but this is important.”
Kurt stared at him as if in shock. When he spoke, his voice sounded higher than usual and almost breathless. “What are you doing here? You should be in the hospital!”
Blaine shook his head. “I'll get the tests done some other time,” he said, “this is more important.”
But Kurt wasn't having it. “I'm not talking about the tests, you look like you'll collapse any second!”
“I'm fine,” Blaine said, “and that's not why I'm here.” This was already not going quite the way he had hoped it would. He had hoped that Kurt would be at least a little happy to see him. Instead, Kurt was shaking his head now, and looked at him as if he was... scared. As if this was not what should be happening. It wasn't encouraging, but maybe that was the point - maybe he needed to risk something for once, just go with something that he knew was right even though it wasn't the safe choice. “Rachel told me that you were leaving,” Blaine repeated, “and it made me realize something.”
“No, Blaine, please don't,” Kurt muttered, “not now. We'll talk when I'm back from Ohio, I promise, but not now, please.”
“When's that going to be?” Blaine asked.
“I don't know yet, but we can't-”
“No. We can, and we have to, Kurt,” Blaine said, his voice filled with a determination he didn't know he had, “because if we don't you're going to leave, and it will be my fault. I can't live with that.”
“Yes, Blaine, you can!” There was something very similar to despair in Kurt's voice. “You'll live with it, and I swear I will be back so we can figure everything out, but right now I have to leave.”
“Why?”
“Because...” Kurt stopped, and for a moment Blaine worried he had pushed too far. “It's for your own good, Blaine,” Kurt continued eventually, and his voice sounded pleading now, “because I'm not what you need right now. I'm not... not good for you, not at the moment.”
“You're the one good thing in my life, Kurt,” Blaine said. A weird feeling of calm was settling inside him. The situation was still hectic, but right now he knew who he was, what he wanted... what he needed. “Actually, you're the only thing in my life that feels right. And I'm sorry for how I've acted these past few weeks. I knew there was something between us, and then I tried to deny it. I always kept you waiting, just because I couldn't make up my mind... because I was too afraid to make changes in my life. I kept telling you that I couldn't choose, or that I needed more time, but I think the truth is that I didn't want to choose, because I was too scared of what would happen if I did. But you see - I'm not scared anymore. Not when I realized that the one thing I couldn't bear was to lose you. I just... I can't. I'm in love with you, Kurt, and I'm so, so sorry that it took me this long to realize it. I want to be with you - if you'll still have me.”
Kurt looked... well, conflicted. While Blaine had talked, he'd kept a close eye on Kurt's face, at the happiness that had appeared, a look that Blaine just dared to hope was love... but still the same despair that had taken hold of him before.
“Blaine, I...” He stopped trying to collect himself, but still had to start a few times until he found his voice again. “What about him?”
Blaine lowered his head. “I'm... I'm leaving him,” he said. “Remember when you asked me why I keep saying that I know I love him? You were right. What I feel for Sebastian? That's more what I know, not how I feel. It's like I know the fact that the highest mountain is the Mount Everest. I've never been there, I haven't seen it... I just know it. But with you? It's like actually standing on top of the world. I don't need to know it, I do. I love you, Kurt.”
Kurt looked as if he was close to tears, and his shoulders sagged as if in defeat. His voice barely rose above a whisper. “I love you, too.”
Blaine gasped. He had expected it, but it was different to actually hear it, to have it confirmed as true. Now really everything was in place. He could feel a completely stupid grin forming on his face. He put a hand on Kurt's cheek and stroked it softly.
“I love you,” Kurt repeated, “but I can't be with you. Not now, and I'm so sorry, but-”
“You love me,” Blaine said, ignoring the rest. “And I love you.”
Kurt opened his mouth, maybe for another protest, but he didn't get to utter a word. Blaine leaned upwards and just brought their lips together.
Kissing Kurt had always felt more amazing than any kiss Blaine could remember. Everything with Kurt had felt incredibly intense, really. But this kiss, now that he knew it was love... it was perfect. Kurt opened up under his lips, let him in and welcomed him. There was a noise, almost a moan, out of his throat, as he moved his lips against Kurt's and let his arms wander around him to hold him close. Kurt returned the embrace, pulled him close, as if he wanted to mold them together. It was the most amazing feeling, as if he was walking on air, as if the ground didn't exist. He felt even more light-headed now, everything was... surreal, but wonderful.
Except... now he really couldn't feel the ground under his feet. And he shouldn't feel this light-headed. This was more dizzy than light-headed. Kurt's arms were all that kept him from falling now.
And then... they weren't.
Nerida was sitting at her spinning wheel, making it turn too fast for any human eye to follow, when she felt the first gush of wind. Her eyebrows rose, and for the first time in centuries, she felt surprised. But that wasn't the only unfamiliar feeling. She could taste a storm coming in the air, and she knew she should be able to recognize the phenomenon. But it had never happened to her.
She still knew, what it was.
The spinning wheel stopped. The storm was coming, and if she wanted to fulfill her duty she would have to hurry.
It felt so perfect, Kurt could have cried. There was Blaine, back where he belonged, warm and solid in his arms, and kissing him.
Blaine loved him. Despite the curse, and all those false memories ideas and memories in his head, Blaine loved him. It didn't change that they couldn't be together for now, and Kurt knew he had to catch a train, find a fairy godmother and raise all sorts of hell to find a way to save Blaine from the curse... but he could indulge one last time, couldn't he? If he had to leave, he'd take the kiss with him.
It felt ridiculously intense, and from the way Blaine was shuddering in his arms, Kurt had a feeling he wasn't the only one. But then, he realized something was off. Blaine's lips stopped moving against him, and his whole body seemed to grow heavier, as if he couldn't hold himself completely upright anymore.
With all his willpower Kurt managed to tear his lips away from Blaine. The other boy didn't follow, just looked at Kurt in confusion.
“Blaine?” Kurt whispered.
The only answer was a throaty sound, somewhere between a groan and a shout, then Blaine rolled his eyes up so far that for a moment Kurt could only see the white - and like a tree, he fell.
It was so fast that Kurt couldn't even think of catching him. Before Blaine hit the ground his body started thrashing. There was a scream, and Kurt wasn't sure whether it had come from him or someone else. Before him, Blaine was on the ground, seizing, hitting his head with every new convulsion. There was froth around his mouth, slowly turning red, and his eyes were wide open.
Kurt fell to his knees. He tried to hold Blaine's body still, but the force of his movements was too strong. He could do nothing, only call for help.
And then, after what felt like hours, Blaine's body stopped moving completely.
Sebastian's mind wasn't on the lecture. His thoughts were running in circles, always drawn back to Blaine. He was scared and alone, waiting at the hospital, and Sebastian knew that it was his fault. Blaine was even more desperate, and as much as Sebastian hated to admit it, he knew that it was because Kurt had left. That too, had been a selfish decision on his own part, and he should feel guilty about it.
He wouldn't have admitted it to Kurt, but Sebastian knew that it was over. They couldn't break the spell, and he knew Blaine wouldn't fall in love with him anytime soon - definitely not soon enough to stabilize it. Blaine was dying, and there was nothing he could do about it. Was it terribly selfish to send Kurt away, just so he could spent that last time alone with Blaine?
It probably was, but if he was asked again, he would make the same choice. And who knew? Maybe it would even work?
There was a murmur going through the room. Sebastian frowned. He hadn't been paying attention, but it was unusual behavior for his fellow students. The murmur got louder, and suddenly, Sebastian realized that it wasn't voices he heard. It sounded more like leaves rustling in the wind. The louder it got, the more it sounded like a storm. But none of the other students or the professor seemed to even notice.
Fear spread through Sebastian. Something was wrong... and it felt as if it was coming for him.
Just when he had come to that realization, an unseen force pulled him out of his chair and threw him to the ground. A scream was ripped from his throat as his arms flailed. There was a commotion around him. Now, the other students had noticed. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was the figure appearing in his vision, her bright blue eyes a calm influence he recognized from his childhood.
He wanted to call out to Nerida, to have her explain what was going on with him, but she shook her head, and then the world turned dark.
Kurt wasn't even sure how he had made it to the emergency room. Everything seemed to be a blur in his mind, the only thing that he could think of was how Blaine had looked on the ground, thrashing, bleeding... He had vague memories of the ride in the ambulance, Rachel must have somehow talked the EMTs to let him come along. It didn't even matter. He wasn't sure if anything would ever matter again.
What if Blaine was actually dying? Because if he was... then Kurt would have killed him. With one kiss, one stupid kiss that he just couldn't resist... He knew that Blaine was in danger, that until he found a way to actually break the curse the only thing that could save him was if he actually fell in love with Sebastian. How exactly was Kurt helping with that by admitting that he loved Blaine? Why on earth couldn't he have lied, or just kept his mouth shut?
Rachel was sitting beside him, clutching his hands so tight that it was painful, but at least it anchored Kurt in the present. She was talking too, comforting words that eventually meant nothing. He almost wanted to yell at her to stop it, that he didn't deserve comfort, but he held back. Rachel didn't know what was going on. She had only seen Blaine collapse and seize, and probably the kiss, but she didn't know about the curse. She couldn't understand that this was Kurt's fault.
“He's going to be okay,” Rachel said softly.
“You don't know that,” Kurt replied. “I can't believe I did this to him...”
“What are you talking about? You didn't do anything. He just... I don't know why this happened, but how could this possibly be your fault?”
He shook his head. The story was too strange, and now wasn't the time. He couldn't even concentrate long enough. Every time his eyes closed, he saw Blaine again, on the floor, thrashing around violently, and... god, he couldn't.
“How long does this even take?” he asked.
“Look, I know you're scared,” Rachel said, “but please calm down. You heard the EMT, right? It's probably nothing, it's just a seizure - a lot of people have those, they're not even that dangerous!”
Kurt actually had heard that part, but hadn't focused on it. “What about the part where he should have woken up right after?”
Rachel obviously didn't have an answer to that.
“How long have we been here?” Kurt asked. It felt like it had been hours. The kiss seemed to him as if it had happened on another day...
“Almost an hour,” Rachel said checking the watch. “Look, Kurt, please calm down, you're not helping him by driving yourself insane, and you did not cause this.”
“But I-”
“Mr. Hummel?”
Kurt looked up to find a doctor standing in front of him. He rose to his feet without even realizing it. His heart seemed to stop for a moment and he felt shivers running through his body. This was it. Now he would find out - and suddenly, he wished he could stay in this state of not knowing forever. He'd rather never know than hear that Blaine... that he...
“Is he okay?” Rachel asked in his place when Kurt only managed to stare without saying a word.
The doctor looked almost bored at first, but now she looked from Rachel to Kurt and took in their panicked state. Her demeanor changed completely.
“There is no reason for you to worry,” she said with a softer tone in her voice now, “your fiancé suffered an epileptic seizure. He's fine now.”
“Fine?” Kurt repeated. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was he getting another chance after all?
“I know that seizures like that can seem quite dramatic and unsettling, but you don't have to worry. They're not especially harmful. We were only worried because he didn't wake up immediately after the attack, so we gave him a brain scan - that I believe he was scheduled for anyway before he decided to leave the hospital without notifying anybody. Anyway, we found no lesions, no bleeding, no tumor. His brain is alright.”
“So... he's okay?” Kurt said. “He's... awake now?”
The doctor nodded. “Though I should warn you. He woke up at the end of the MRI and suffered a panic attack inside the machine. We had to sedate him, but he's awake, and he's asking for you.” She smiled at him encouragingly.
A sound came from him that was close to a sob, and he sank into himself. Blaine was okay, it wasn't too late, he was fine... He was alive, and awake, and...
Rachel hugged him tightly. He felt tears rolling down his face, now that the fear and tension finally dissolved.
The doctor looked at him warmly. “If you'll come with me?” she said. “Your fiancé's waiting.”
Another shock went through Kurt. He couldn't see Blaine. He had just almost killed him, if he saw him now he'd just make it even worse. He had to leave, to go to Ohio and fix this and...
Had she said...?
“Fiancé,” he muttered. After all this time even the word felt unfamiliar on his tongue.
“Yes, your fiancé,” Rachel said beside him. “What are you waiting for? Go!”
Kurt stared at her. “What?” he said.
“Blaine!” Rachel said, the warmth now replaced by impatience. “Your fiancé, remember? The one you were just going insane about?”
Kurt blinked. Of course he knew... but since when did Rachel? Since when did anyone? What was going on now? The curse had altered everybody's memories, they couldn't know.
Unless there was no curse anymore - unless the curse was broken. But how?
Both Rachel and the doctor looked at him impatiently. He'd figure it out later.
“Where is he?”
Once more, he found Blaine lying in a hospital bed. His eyes were closed, but he was clearly breathing. There was a monitor near him, and though it was silent Kurt could see that the heart beat was calm and regular.
“Blaine?” he asked. His voice was breaking. He stepped into the room, closer to Blaine's bed and eventually took his hand. “Blaine?” he repeated louder.
And then, Blaine's eyelids fluttered open. He blinked a few times, before he looked up. “Kurt?” he whispered. His eyes widened, and he started to sit up. Immediately, Kurt surged forward to stabilize him. With a sigh, Blaine sank into his arms. “You're here,” he muttered. “You're actually here.”
“Of course I'm here,” Kurt said, “are you okay? How do you feel?”
Blaine shook his head. “I don't know. Tired, mostly. And kind of numb, but I think that's the drugs. I just...” He pushed Kurt away enough to look into his eyes. “What was that?” he asked. “One moment we're kissing, and then I wake up in that machine? And it's like there's a waterfall of memories crashing into my brain, and I don't... It doesn't make sense, nothing does, it's... did I live with Sebastian ? And then I met you... again? But I didn't remember, and it's all... I don't understand. None of it makes sense, I just... what has happened? I can't... I don't... Kurt, please...”
As he spoke, he was getting slightly worked up again - and that was with the numbing effect from the drugs. To have all these impressions crash onto him after he just woke up... god, no wonder Blaine had suffered a panic attack. And it looked, like he was well on his way to the next one. That wouldn't do. Kurt pulled him close again and started talking softly into his ear to calm him down. “It's okay, Blaine, it's over, it's all over now, you're going to be alright.”
“I just don't understand,” Blaine said, his voice shaky. “Kurt, just tell me what happened.”
Kurt nodded. “Alright, I will,” she said. He pulled back and put his hands onto Blaine's. “But when it's too much, you tell me, okay? I just... I don't want to overwhelm you.”
Blaine laughed softly. “I'm beyond overwhelmed, Kurt,” he said. “Just... tell me.”
And so, Kurt started talking. He started from the beginning, or as far as he could guess the beginning was, with what Sebastian had done, what the curse had caused as far as he knew, over their second first meeting to the point when Kurt had found out thanks to Isabelle just what was going on. Blaine stayed surprisingly calm during the whole tale, although that might have been due to the drugs they'd given him. Even when Kurt started on how dangerous things had become to him, he didn't seem afraid. He kept completely calm without interruption, until Kurt arrived at the point where he had decided to go to Ohio to find Nerida. At that point, a flash of hurt appeared on Blaine's face.
“You were going to leave me with him?” he asked.
“No! That was the last thing I wanted,” Kurt said, “but don't you see, I thought I was killing you, Blaine. I was just trying to find a way to get you out of this alive.”
Blaine nodded. “I... sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that. And you did save me. But... how?”
Kurt frowned. “I'm not sure,” he admitted. He thought back on everything he knew about the curse, everything Isabelle had told him and...
“The kiss,” Blaine said. “Just like Isabelle said, right? True love's kiss breaks the curse.”
Kurt's eyes widened. After that first failed attempt he hadn't even thought about trying it again. Could he have stopped this weeks ago? But they had kissed that night after thanksgiving...
“I should have kissed you before,” Kurt said.
Blaine shook his head. “I... I don't think it would have worked before. I'm so sorry, I was just... I was scared. And conflicted. I just realized what you mean to me when I thought I'd lose you.” He looked up now and there was so much pain in his eyes. “I'm sorry,” he said, “I am so sorry you were put through all this. I do love you, Kurt, I love you so much, and all this... I'm sorry.”
“What? No! This isn't your fault,” Kurt said and squeezed Blaine's hands in his, “this is Sebastian's fault. He did this to you. And we still found each other again, in spite of everything he did. Let's just focus on that - that we still found our way back to each other.”
Blaine looked into his eyes as if he was searching for something. Whatever it was, he seemed to find it. He nodded, and the tension started to fade.
“Thank you for not giving up on me,” he said.
“Never,” Kurt said. The tears he was blinking away now weren't from fear or sadness anymore, but he was overflowing with relief. It was over. He could hardly believe it, that they had finally gotten it right, that Blaine was safe, and still alive, and...
“Are you okay?”
Blaine hesitated. “I don't know. I'm relieved, but I'm also still freaked out,” he said, “it's just a lot to take in. I still can't believe this all really happened. It feels more like a nightmare.”
Kurt pulled him closer. “I know. But it's over now, Blaine, and we did it.”
Blaine didn't answer, just hid his face against Kurt's shoulder.
“Maybe we should talk to Isabelle. Just, maybe it will help you deal with what happened?”
“Maybe...” Blaine said. “Can you just stay with me, right now? I think I need you here.”
“You've got me,” Kurt whispered. Careful not to disturb any wires, he climbed into the bed beside Blaine and pulled him back into an embrace. With a relieved sigh, Blaine cuddled against him and held him impossibly close.
“And...” Blaine continued, “kiss me again?”
“Promise you won't have a seizure?”
Blaine blinked in confusion, and for a moment Kurt feared he had misjudged the situation, but then Blaine started laughing, loud and free, and maybe it would have turned hysterical without the drugs, but he calmed down eventually.
“Just come here,” he said and pulled Kurt in.
Kurt went willingly, and kissed him, pouring everything he felt into it. It was over, they were free and could be together again, and Blaine was safe.
Finally, everything was back where it belonged.
Epilogue