Fic: Once More With Feeling, Chapter 13/14
Title: Once More With Feeling (13/14+Epilogue)
Rating: R
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, Blaine/Sebastian
Spoilers: -
Warnings:
Word Count: ~4100
Summary: After a long year of separation, things are finally looking up for Kurt and Blaine. They're ready to start their lives together in New York as an engaged couple. Everything is perfect.
Until it's suddenly not.
Torn apart by forces beyond their understanding, they find themselves alone, facing a world that is just not quite right anymore. A second first meeting of strangers on a staircase brings another chance for love, but is that chance enough for them to find their way back to each other, and can they break the spell before it's too late?
Disclaimer: The characters aren't my property, neither are any song lyrics within this story, just borrowing it all for a bit.
Notes: So, this story is slowly coming to an end, one chapter after this one plus an epilogue. I'm currently working on wrapping it up, althogh I have one more exam that might push things back a bit. But the rest of the story should definitely be up within the next two weeks. Let's see how it works out. For now, enjoy the chapter.
Previously...
Chapter 13 - These Endless Days...
There was nothing quite like waiting at a hospital for news about the condition of a loved one. Kurt had once thought that hospitals would forever be connected to his mother's deaath for him - until his dad's heart attack. And now? The situation right now wasn't as dire as his dad's had been... probably... but he couldn't be sure of it, not with curses in the mix. All he could say for sure was that he hated hospitals, and how helpless they made him feel.
Kurt wasn't sure how much of it had been the blood coming out of Blaine's eyes and how much had been the insurance Sebastian had waved around, but upon arriving at the hospital, things had gone down extremely fast. They had seen a doctor immediately, and Blaine had been whisked away for a tests right away.
And now Kurt was forced once more to sit around helplessly in a hospital. Except this time, he had the company of Sebastian.
Just wonderful.
They were sitting in a waiting area. The room was only moderately filled, with enough space to give them at least a bit of privacy. To his credit, Sebastian looked about as freaked out as Kurt felt. He was pale, twitchy, and kept running a hand through his hair. Kurt could see that he was close to saying something, but he didn't care. All he wanted was for Blaine to be okay He wasn'tinterested in small talk, especially not with that bastard... not with the person who put Blaine here in the first place. There was absolutely nothing Sebastian could say that Kurt would care to hear.
“This is all my fault.”
Okay, maybe except for that.
“You think?” Kurt asked, but the sarcasm fell flat.
Sebastian sighed. “Look, I like this trading insults game as much as you do, but can we reschedule for when Blaine's life is not hanging in the balance?”
Kurt's first instinct was to snap at him, but he knew that Sebastian was right about this at least. “Is it?” he asked instead.
Sebastian just looked at him in confusion.
“Could this actually kill him?” Kurt clarified what he meant. “Look, you're the one with the... fairy godmother, and the curse, I don't really understand what's going on. What is this doing to Blaine?”
“I don't know, okay? This is... it's not how it was supposed to go. My... fairy godmother didn't exactly give me a manual to this.”
“Then give it your best guess,” Kurt hissed.
“You shouldn't have told him anything,” Sebastian said and now glared at Kurt. So much for it all being his own fault... “He can't handle the truth, his brain can't take it. His subconscious is still fighting against the reality the spell made. But the magic is stronger, he can't possibly break it on his own. It's like running head-first against a brick wall - in theory, with enough force, you could break it, but in reality, you're going to end up with a concussion.”
“Or dead,” Kurt said.
“It's not exactly a perfect metaphor,” Sebastian continued, “seeing how the brick wall wouldn't go out of its way to hit you as soon as it only senses that you might consider running against it.”
“So that's what's happening? Blaine gets hurt as soon as he tries to see behind the curtain?”
“Kind of, yes. Which is why he can't be told what's going on,” Sebastian said.
“I know he can't be told,” Kurt said, “but he had already found out. He found a video of us from before the curse, he found his diploma, he looked up glee club performances - I was trying to do damage control. ...why am I even justifying myself to you?”
“Because Blaine could have died, and you're just as freaked out as I am about it,” Sebastian said. “I get that you hate me. I probably deserve it. But we have to focus on Blane now.”
Kurt would have loved to be contrary, but as much as he hated to admit it, Sebastian had a point. Somehow, he would have to try and gather whatever information Sebastian had. If he got this wrong... If Blaine actually...
He couldn't think about it.
“How about you start from the top then?” he asked eventually. Sebastian looked at him in surprise, as if he had actually exptected more arguing. Kurt just shrugged. “I do hate you,” he said, “I think you're the most disgusting, vile human being I ever met. But I don't care about you. What I care about is that Blaine is okay, and for that I need more information. So talk, because I really can't stand just sitting around wondering what's happening to him right now.”
“Right...” Sebastian said. “My family has a fairy godmother. There's apparently some aristocracy in my mother's line, it doesn't really matter. But I went to her to have this spell made, so Blaine would be with me. She told me when the spell was put into the world, it would still be fragile. Right now, it could go either way. I have to stabilize it, then it'll be just as if things had always been this way. But until that happens, it's... vague. And this state takes a lot of energy. I thought I could stabilize it immediately, when she told me what I needed for it. I had the spell centered on Blaine, so I could stabilize it through him. All it would take was a kiss. Except I kissed him less than an hour after the spell hit, and look where we are.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Not a kiss,” he said, “true love's kiss. Of course it didn't work.”
“Since when are you the expert?” Sebastian said and glared at him.
There wasn't really any point in feeling superior when Kurt had made the same assumption Sebastian had, so he shrugged. “Go on, then.”
“And yes, fine, it has to be true love's kiss. I thought the spell would make him love me, and obviously I know that I love him, but it's not enough.”
“Because magic can't create love,” Kurt said.
“Will you stop interrupting me?” Sebastian asked, although he sounded more exhausted than annoyed. “No, it's not real love, and until I manage to make him fall in love with me, I can't stabilize the spell.”
“You do realize that is never going to happen, right?” Kurt asked. “He doesn't love you, no matter how many false memories you put into his brain.”
“He could fall in love with me,” Sebastian said.
Kurt snorted. “Right... you've kept him isolated for months and it didn't happen, and now he knows that you're lying to him.”
“You should hope it works,” Sebastian said darkly.
“And why would I do that?”
Sebastian sighed. As he ran a hand through his hair again, Kurt saw that it was shaking. “The spell can't stay like this forever. I told you, it takes energy. There are two options here for that to change. One is stabilizing the magic...”
“And the other one is breaking it,” Kurt said.
“Will you shut up? Okay, fine, three options. One, I stabilize the spell - not that likely right now. Two, it gets... broken. Not likely either, given that I don't even know what that requires. Right now, we're going straight up to option three. The spell is taking up energy from a... source. Once that energy has run out, the curse will end,” Sebastian explained, “so unless I stabilize it... it'll disappear.”
“Sounds like we should go with that one,” Kurt said.
When Sebastian looked up now, Kurt thought for a second he was about to cry. It didn't fit. Kurt thought back on what Sebastian had said - and felt how the color drained from his face.
“You did not,” he growled. “You did not make Blaine the source of the curse.”
“I thought it'd be stable within an hour!” Sebastian hissed.
“And look how that worked out! You can't think and Blaine has to pay for it!” Kurt couldn't stay sitting, he got up and started to pace. “Well done, really well done. So what's going to happen now? What do you mean, when the... energy is gone, what will happen to him?”
He already knew that it had to be bad when Sebastian looked down instead of arguing. “He's...” He buried his face in his hands, apparently unable to look up, but Kurt could still hear what his answer was. “He's going to die.”
Kurt froze. He had considered that was a risk, definitely feared it after the bleeding earlier, but this was worse. This wasn't speculation - judging from the look of Sebastian and what he'd said it was the most likely outcome of this. He had known Blaine was suffering under the curse, but dying...
No. He couldn't deal with that. He wouldn't. There had to be something he could do. He would not let that happen. He'd find a way to stop this. There was a way.
“You tell me right now how to break the curse,” he said. He hadn't known his voice could even sound this cold.
“I don't know, okay? Nerida refused to tell me! If I knew, don't you think I'd try it? I know that I hardly have a chance to stabilize it, but it's better than just waiting for him to die. If I knew a safe way to get him out of this, I would do it!”
“You really expect me to believe that given the situation we're in?” Kurt asked. “I can't believe this... I can't believe even you could do this to him.”
“I know I screwed up,” Sebastian said, “I know it can't be excused, but can we maybe stop talking about who's at fault and start focussing on Blaine? You can try to kill me once he's out of danger.”
“You're...” Kurt stared at him. He didn't think he'd ever hated a person as much as Sebastian right now. But that wasn't the point. “What can we do?” he asked instead, his voice now a lot softer than before.
“We have to keep him away from anything that makes him doubt this reality, if that's even possible,” Sebastian said, “and I will try to win his love, and kiss him, and the spell will be stable. But you have to stay away from him. I think a part of him, a subconscious part, remembers you. At least that would explain why he got so attached to you of all students at that ridiculous school. Clearly, he's conflicted, so your presence just reminds him that something is off, and that makes it harder for me to make him fall in love with me. You have to leave, and stay away - give me the room to make it happen. That's the only way we can save him.”
“So you win,” Kurt said bitterly.
“Blaine would be alive,” Sebastian said, “I'd think you'd count that as a win.”
“Alive and cursed,” Kurt said.
“Cursed is better than dead. Besides, once the curse is stable, he won't fight it anymore - he won't suffer, he'll be fine.” Sebastian looked right into Kurt's eyes. “The best thing you can do for Blaine is to let him go now. In fact, it's probably his only chance.”
Kurt stared at him, not completely sure if Sebastian was actually serious about this. Did he really think Kurt would just leave Blaine with him, help Sebastian get away with what he was doing? There was a third option, Sebastian had even confirmed that it existed. The curse could be broken. Of course, he didn't know how, and Sebastian didn't know how, but there had to be a way to find out. It was possible...
But Blaine was dying.
He didn't know how much time there was even left. And what if he didn't find a way to break the curse, or didn't find it in time, or wouldn't be able to do it once he knew? If he couldn't break the curse, and things progressed as they did...
He couldn't allow it.
“It's just for now,” Sebastian said, “you can come back into his life once he's safe. But for now, you're hurting him.”
Kurt looked at him with tired disbelief. They both knew the offer was a lie, just rhetorics to get Kurt to agree with him. Even if Sebastian could stabilize the curse, he might not even remember Blaine, and even if he did, Kurt couldn't imagine Sebastian letting him near, not when the fear of Blaine dying wasn't hanging over his head.
He had to find the third option. But Sebastian wasn't going to help him with that. Isabelle might, although Kurt had almost given up hope that she would find something. He needed more time... Blaine needed more time.
And as much as he hated the mere idea, Kurt had to admit that Sebastian had a point - Blaine was running out of time, and by being close to him Kurt was making it worse.
He didn't want to leave Blaine with that monster, the mere thought made his skin crawl - but he couldn't risk his life.
“Excuse me, are you with Blaine Anderson?”
They both looked up at the voice. One of the nurses was standing in front of them.
“He's in room 331, the first examinations are done, and the doctor already saw him. Let me take you there, he's asking for you,” he said.
“Right, thank you,” Sebastian said, and turned to Kurt. “I'll go up there and talk to him. You should... you know.”
“I'm going to see him,” Kurt said, “you can't take that away from me. I just... I need to at least see him.”
Sebastian hesitated, but then he nodded. “Let's go.”
When they entered the room, all Kurt could see was how small Blaine looked in that hospital bed. It might have been the light, but he was looking sickly pale, and so terribly exhausted. Without sparing Sebastian even a thought, Kurt went to Blaine and sat down at his bedside. Blaine looked in confusion from him to Sebastian, maybe expecting another scene. But Sebastian just stepped closer and watched them with an almost wistful xpression on his face. It didn't matter - he didn't matter, not now, and really, not ever.
“Are you okay?” Kurt asked. “What did the doctor say?”
“They haven't found anything,” Blaine said, and now his eyes were focused on Kurt. “They took some blood, they did an LP, and I had a CT scan to make sure there's no bleeding, but they haven't found anything. They want me to stay here for a few days for observation, and to give me an MRI. They're...” He gulped and lowered his eyes. “They're looking for a tumor.”
“Why?” Sebastian asked. “You've been bleeding... that's not something brain tumors do, right?”
Blaine shrugged. “I don't know. But I told them I have memory gaps, and then there's all that other stuff, how I'm always exhausted, and the headaches, and the weight loss, and the night terrors... It could be one, apparently. Oh, and if they don't see anything on the MRI they want a psychiatric consult. You know, in case I'm just losing my mind.”
“You're not,” Kurt said, “you... you're going to be alright, Blaine, okay? You just... you are.”
“I'm trying,” Blaine said, but Kurt could tell that he wasn't convinced. There was a tremor in his voice and his eyes gleamed a bit too much. “I'm freaking out, actually,” Blaine admitted, “it's... I don't know what's happening.”
“You will be okay,” Sebastian said. Kurt couldn't stand the sound of his voice. He took a deep breath, tried to be calm for Blaine's sake and then turned around.
“Sebastian? Would you give us a moment?” he asked.
Blaine's eyes widened and he shot a quick look to Sebastian.
“I... Fine,” Sebastian said, “take your time. I'll be outside.” To his credit, he didn't protest at all but just left the room after one last, serious look to Kurt - as if he needed a reminder to be careful about what he said.
As the door closed, he relaxed a bit, and held Blaine's hand in his, softly stroking over the skin. Blaine blinked, a frown on his face.
“What's going on with you two?” he asked.
Kurt shook his head. “I don't want to talk about him,” he said, “we hate each other, but that doesn't matter right now. The important thing is that you get better,” Kurt said.
Blaine was still unconvinced, but he relaxed and intertwined their fingers.
“I'm really scared,” he said. His voice was soft and still trembling.
“I know,” Kurt said. He had enough problems keeping his own voice steady. Sighing, he raised his free hand to touch Blaine's cheek, and for a few moments just looked at him, trying to memorize every detail.
“Kurt?” Blaine was even more confused now.
“You are... so important to me, Blaine,” Kurt said. As he blinked, he realized that he was close to tears. He had promised, such a long time ago, not to say goodbye, but now he realized he was in the middle of doing just that. Well... for now. Not forever. Isabelle had to know a way. He wouldn't give up on Blaine, he would never give up on him - but right now, he needed to take a step back. He took a shuddering breath before he could continue. “I care about you so much, and there's nothing more important right now than you getting better. But I... I can't be here for it.”
“What?” Blaine frowned. “What are you saying, Kurt?”
Kurt blinked his tears away, praying that Blaine wouldn't notice. “You need to get well, Blaine, and I'm... I'm not what you need right now. I'm so sorry, but... I can't. I have to go.”
“What? No!” Blaine shook his head, his eyes wide and fearful now. “Why are you doing this? Is it something Sebastian said? What did he tell you?”
“Nothing,”Kurt said, “this is just... it's for the best.”
“But... I don't understand,” he said. “Why are you... what have I done?”
“Nothing! No, don't even think that!” Kurt said, but he could see that Blaine had already come to a different conclusion.
“You told me it's okay,” Blaine said, “you said I should take time to figure things out, and you said you would wait... What happened to that?”
“I'm sorry, I can't,” Kurt repeated.
“Don't do this to me, Kurt,” Blaine said, “not now, please. I need you!”
Kurt exhaled and finally managed to tear his eyes from Blaine's face. “You don't. You'll be better off without me right now. I'm sorry.” He leant forward. It wasn't a goodbye, he tried to tell himself, just for now. Just until he found a way to break the curse. Only for now - it wasn't helpful. He pressed a single, ardent kiss onto Blaine's forehead, memorizing everything, the feel, the smell of his hair, but mostly, the way Blaine was trembling under his hands.
“Kurt, please...”
“I have to go,” Kurt said. “Please, just... get better.” When he turned away, he could hear a sob. But he couldn't look back, not right now, and not even because he couldn't keep his own tears from falling anymore, but because he knew if he did, he wouldn't find the strength to leave.
Sebastian was standing outside. He took a look at Kurt, but didn't comment,.
“This isn't over,” Kurt said.
“I know,” Sebastian said, “and for what it's worth... that's a really brave thing you're doing for him.”
Kurt turned around, focusing on Sebastian's genuine expression.
“Go to hell.”
“There has to be something I can do!”
Kurt could feel Isabelle's pitying look as he paced through her office. The books were still open, but he knew they wouldn't be helpful. They had gone through it all, but they hadn't found anything useful.
Isabelle sighed. “Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry this is happening to you,” she said.
“But you think he's right? You think I have to stay away from Blaine?”
Isabelle looked as if she was pondering the question. “Well... for now, it might be a good idea. From what you told me, Blaine is never going to fall completely in love with Sebastian while you are around. On the other hand, he's very unlikely to do so even if you stay away.”
“I can't let him die,” Kurt said, “there has to be another way, Isabelle.”
“The curse can still be broken,” Isabelle said, “but I don't know how. The one person who definitely knows, is the fairy who cast it.”
“So I have to find her,” Kurt said. “I'll find her, and then I'll make her tell me.”
“Sweetie, we're talking about a fairy godmother. She is insanely powerful. It's way too dangerous for you to deal with her alone,” Isabelle said.
“I have you, don't I?” It was supposed to come out humorous, but to his own ears it sounded pleading.
She sighed. “A wingless fairy... I'm not sure what kind of help I'll be. But you're right, of course - we have to find her now.”
“Then why haven't we done this ages ago? Why did you suggest I try luring him away from Sebastian? Why didn't we go for breaking it immediately?”
“I didn't know the curse was drawing its energy from Blaine!” Isabelle said. “Usually, the person who wants the spell cast has to anchor himself onto the curse. And if that had been the case, our strategy would have been good. You could have won your boy over the old-fashioned way and got him away from that horrible boy. Eventually we would have figured something out to end the curse, or maybe just let it run its course. But this? This is different. I didn't know we were putting Blaine in danger, Kurt. I would have suggested a completely different strategy if I'd known. Maybe I would have suggested to help stabilize the curse and then try to win him back afterwards... not ideal, but it wouldn't have been less dangerous...”
“So what you're saying is that by trying to get him away from Sebastian I might have killed him?”
At his shocked tone, her face got softer. “No, no, please don't think that, this is not your fault, you've been trying to help him. All this is clearly Sebastian's fault. But that doesn't help us right now, we have to figure something out. It's so rare, though, to have the curse coupled onto somebody else, there are only a handful of even fairy godmothers who could do that...”
And suddenly, Kurt remembered something. “Like Nerida?”
“Exactly, although that's already going quite high on the totem pole, and... wait, how do you know that name?”
“Sebastian mentioned it,” Kurt said, “so... that's her? You know her?”
Isabelle now looked really uncomfortable. “We may have run into each other,” she said, “she took my wings.”
“Oh. I'm... sorry?”
“It's fine,” Isabelle said, “it was a long time ago. I wouldn't have thought about her, though. What did you say his name was?”
“Sebastian Smythe,” Kurt said.
“Well... the last thing I heard about Nerida is that she's bound to the LaCroix family... but that could have changed if she went with a daughter one time. You see, a fairy godmother always has to choose one of the children of a family to follow. But yes, that doesn't matter right now. You said he's from Ohio, this Sebastian?”
“I think that's where his family is,” Kurt said.
“Well, obviously we can't play the long game,” Isabelle said, a new determination in her eyes, “and from the way you describe it, I don't think your boy is going to have a lot of time left. If we want to save him, we have to go to Ohio and find Nerida.”
“Will she help us?” Kurt asked.
All the determination disappeared from Isabelle's face. “Well... I don't know, to be honest with you. She and I don't exactly get along that well... but it is the only chance we have. So... Ohio it is.”
Kurt sighed. “Ohio it is,” he repeated. He would have to figure something out that he'd tell NYADA or at the diner, probably something for the girls as well... and his family... It would be complicated, but it was a chance. It was definitely better than just leaving Blaine with Sebastian. And “hardly a plan” was still an improvement over “no plan”.
He thought back to Blaine, how scared he'd looked in that hospital room, how desperate he'd been when Kurt had told him he was leaving...
No. He would not let Blaine die. And he also wouldn't let Sebastian get away with this.
“Ohio it is.”
Next Chapter
Rating: R
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, Blaine/Sebastian
Spoilers: -
Warnings:
Word Count: ~4100
Summary: After a long year of separation, things are finally looking up for Kurt and Blaine. They're ready to start their lives together in New York as an engaged couple. Everything is perfect.
Until it's suddenly not.
Torn apart by forces beyond their understanding, they find themselves alone, facing a world that is just not quite right anymore. A second first meeting of strangers on a staircase brings another chance for love, but is that chance enough for them to find their way back to each other, and can they break the spell before it's too late?
Disclaimer: The characters aren't my property, neither are any song lyrics within this story, just borrowing it all for a bit.
Notes: So, this story is slowly coming to an end, one chapter after this one plus an epilogue. I'm currently working on wrapping it up, althogh I have one more exam that might push things back a bit. But the rest of the story should definitely be up within the next two weeks. Let's see how it works out. For now, enjoy the chapter.
Previously...
Chapter 13 - These Endless Days...
There was nothing quite like waiting at a hospital for news about the condition of a loved one. Kurt had once thought that hospitals would forever be connected to his mother's deaath for him - until his dad's heart attack. And now? The situation right now wasn't as dire as his dad's had been... probably... but he couldn't be sure of it, not with curses in the mix. All he could say for sure was that he hated hospitals, and how helpless they made him feel.
Kurt wasn't sure how much of it had been the blood coming out of Blaine's eyes and how much had been the insurance Sebastian had waved around, but upon arriving at the hospital, things had gone down extremely fast. They had seen a doctor immediately, and Blaine had been whisked away for a tests right away.
And now Kurt was forced once more to sit around helplessly in a hospital. Except this time, he had the company of Sebastian.
Just wonderful.
They were sitting in a waiting area. The room was only moderately filled, with enough space to give them at least a bit of privacy. To his credit, Sebastian looked about as freaked out as Kurt felt. He was pale, twitchy, and kept running a hand through his hair. Kurt could see that he was close to saying something, but he didn't care. All he wanted was for Blaine to be okay He wasn'tinterested in small talk, especially not with that bastard... not with the person who put Blaine here in the first place. There was absolutely nothing Sebastian could say that Kurt would care to hear.
“This is all my fault.”
Okay, maybe except for that.
“You think?” Kurt asked, but the sarcasm fell flat.
Sebastian sighed. “Look, I like this trading insults game as much as you do, but can we reschedule for when Blaine's life is not hanging in the balance?”
Kurt's first instinct was to snap at him, but he knew that Sebastian was right about this at least. “Is it?” he asked instead.
Sebastian just looked at him in confusion.
“Could this actually kill him?” Kurt clarified what he meant. “Look, you're the one with the... fairy godmother, and the curse, I don't really understand what's going on. What is this doing to Blaine?”
“I don't know, okay? This is... it's not how it was supposed to go. My... fairy godmother didn't exactly give me a manual to this.”
“Then give it your best guess,” Kurt hissed.
“You shouldn't have told him anything,” Sebastian said and now glared at Kurt. So much for it all being his own fault... “He can't handle the truth, his brain can't take it. His subconscious is still fighting against the reality the spell made. But the magic is stronger, he can't possibly break it on his own. It's like running head-first against a brick wall - in theory, with enough force, you could break it, but in reality, you're going to end up with a concussion.”
“Or dead,” Kurt said.
“It's not exactly a perfect metaphor,” Sebastian continued, “seeing how the brick wall wouldn't go out of its way to hit you as soon as it only senses that you might consider running against it.”
“So that's what's happening? Blaine gets hurt as soon as he tries to see behind the curtain?”
“Kind of, yes. Which is why he can't be told what's going on,” Sebastian said.
“I know he can't be told,” Kurt said, “but he had already found out. He found a video of us from before the curse, he found his diploma, he looked up glee club performances - I was trying to do damage control. ...why am I even justifying myself to you?”
“Because Blaine could have died, and you're just as freaked out as I am about it,” Sebastian said. “I get that you hate me. I probably deserve it. But we have to focus on Blane now.”
Kurt would have loved to be contrary, but as much as he hated to admit it, Sebastian had a point. Somehow, he would have to try and gather whatever information Sebastian had. If he got this wrong... If Blaine actually...
He couldn't think about it.
“How about you start from the top then?” he asked eventually. Sebastian looked at him in surprise, as if he had actually exptected more arguing. Kurt just shrugged. “I do hate you,” he said, “I think you're the most disgusting, vile human being I ever met. But I don't care about you. What I care about is that Blaine is okay, and for that I need more information. So talk, because I really can't stand just sitting around wondering what's happening to him right now.”
“Right...” Sebastian said. “My family has a fairy godmother. There's apparently some aristocracy in my mother's line, it doesn't really matter. But I went to her to have this spell made, so Blaine would be with me. She told me when the spell was put into the world, it would still be fragile. Right now, it could go either way. I have to stabilize it, then it'll be just as if things had always been this way. But until that happens, it's... vague. And this state takes a lot of energy. I thought I could stabilize it immediately, when she told me what I needed for it. I had the spell centered on Blaine, so I could stabilize it through him. All it would take was a kiss. Except I kissed him less than an hour after the spell hit, and look where we are.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Not a kiss,” he said, “true love's kiss. Of course it didn't work.”
“Since when are you the expert?” Sebastian said and glared at him.
There wasn't really any point in feeling superior when Kurt had made the same assumption Sebastian had, so he shrugged. “Go on, then.”
“And yes, fine, it has to be true love's kiss. I thought the spell would make him love me, and obviously I know that I love him, but it's not enough.”
“Because magic can't create love,” Kurt said.
“Will you stop interrupting me?” Sebastian asked, although he sounded more exhausted than annoyed. “No, it's not real love, and until I manage to make him fall in love with me, I can't stabilize the spell.”
“You do realize that is never going to happen, right?” Kurt asked. “He doesn't love you, no matter how many false memories you put into his brain.”
“He could fall in love with me,” Sebastian said.
Kurt snorted. “Right... you've kept him isolated for months and it didn't happen, and now he knows that you're lying to him.”
“You should hope it works,” Sebastian said darkly.
“And why would I do that?”
Sebastian sighed. As he ran a hand through his hair again, Kurt saw that it was shaking. “The spell can't stay like this forever. I told you, it takes energy. There are two options here for that to change. One is stabilizing the magic...”
“And the other one is breaking it,” Kurt said.
“Will you shut up? Okay, fine, three options. One, I stabilize the spell - not that likely right now. Two, it gets... broken. Not likely either, given that I don't even know what that requires. Right now, we're going straight up to option three. The spell is taking up energy from a... source. Once that energy has run out, the curse will end,” Sebastian explained, “so unless I stabilize it... it'll disappear.”
“Sounds like we should go with that one,” Kurt said.
When Sebastian looked up now, Kurt thought for a second he was about to cry. It didn't fit. Kurt thought back on what Sebastian had said - and felt how the color drained from his face.
“You did not,” he growled. “You did not make Blaine the source of the curse.”
“I thought it'd be stable within an hour!” Sebastian hissed.
“And look how that worked out! You can't think and Blaine has to pay for it!” Kurt couldn't stay sitting, he got up and started to pace. “Well done, really well done. So what's going to happen now? What do you mean, when the... energy is gone, what will happen to him?”
He already knew that it had to be bad when Sebastian looked down instead of arguing. “He's...” He buried his face in his hands, apparently unable to look up, but Kurt could still hear what his answer was. “He's going to die.”
Kurt froze. He had considered that was a risk, definitely feared it after the bleeding earlier, but this was worse. This wasn't speculation - judging from the look of Sebastian and what he'd said it was the most likely outcome of this. He had known Blaine was suffering under the curse, but dying...
No. He couldn't deal with that. He wouldn't. There had to be something he could do. He would not let that happen. He'd find a way to stop this. There was a way.
“You tell me right now how to break the curse,” he said. He hadn't known his voice could even sound this cold.
“I don't know, okay? Nerida refused to tell me! If I knew, don't you think I'd try it? I know that I hardly have a chance to stabilize it, but it's better than just waiting for him to die. If I knew a safe way to get him out of this, I would do it!”
“You really expect me to believe that given the situation we're in?” Kurt asked. “I can't believe this... I can't believe even you could do this to him.”
“I know I screwed up,” Sebastian said, “I know it can't be excused, but can we maybe stop talking about who's at fault and start focussing on Blaine? You can try to kill me once he's out of danger.”
“You're...” Kurt stared at him. He didn't think he'd ever hated a person as much as Sebastian right now. But that wasn't the point. “What can we do?” he asked instead, his voice now a lot softer than before.
“We have to keep him away from anything that makes him doubt this reality, if that's even possible,” Sebastian said, “and I will try to win his love, and kiss him, and the spell will be stable. But you have to stay away from him. I think a part of him, a subconscious part, remembers you. At least that would explain why he got so attached to you of all students at that ridiculous school. Clearly, he's conflicted, so your presence just reminds him that something is off, and that makes it harder for me to make him fall in love with me. You have to leave, and stay away - give me the room to make it happen. That's the only way we can save him.”
“So you win,” Kurt said bitterly.
“Blaine would be alive,” Sebastian said, “I'd think you'd count that as a win.”
“Alive and cursed,” Kurt said.
“Cursed is better than dead. Besides, once the curse is stable, he won't fight it anymore - he won't suffer, he'll be fine.” Sebastian looked right into Kurt's eyes. “The best thing you can do for Blaine is to let him go now. In fact, it's probably his only chance.”
Kurt stared at him, not completely sure if Sebastian was actually serious about this. Did he really think Kurt would just leave Blaine with him, help Sebastian get away with what he was doing? There was a third option, Sebastian had even confirmed that it existed. The curse could be broken. Of course, he didn't know how, and Sebastian didn't know how, but there had to be a way to find out. It was possible...
But Blaine was dying.
He didn't know how much time there was even left. And what if he didn't find a way to break the curse, or didn't find it in time, or wouldn't be able to do it once he knew? If he couldn't break the curse, and things progressed as they did...
He couldn't allow it.
“It's just for now,” Sebastian said, “you can come back into his life once he's safe. But for now, you're hurting him.”
Kurt looked at him with tired disbelief. They both knew the offer was a lie, just rhetorics to get Kurt to agree with him. Even if Sebastian could stabilize the curse, he might not even remember Blaine, and even if he did, Kurt couldn't imagine Sebastian letting him near, not when the fear of Blaine dying wasn't hanging over his head.
He had to find the third option. But Sebastian wasn't going to help him with that. Isabelle might, although Kurt had almost given up hope that she would find something. He needed more time... Blaine needed more time.
And as much as he hated the mere idea, Kurt had to admit that Sebastian had a point - Blaine was running out of time, and by being close to him Kurt was making it worse.
He didn't want to leave Blaine with that monster, the mere thought made his skin crawl - but he couldn't risk his life.
“Excuse me, are you with Blaine Anderson?”
They both looked up at the voice. One of the nurses was standing in front of them.
“He's in room 331, the first examinations are done, and the doctor already saw him. Let me take you there, he's asking for you,” he said.
“Right, thank you,” Sebastian said, and turned to Kurt. “I'll go up there and talk to him. You should... you know.”
“I'm going to see him,” Kurt said, “you can't take that away from me. I just... I need to at least see him.”
Sebastian hesitated, but then he nodded. “Let's go.”
When they entered the room, all Kurt could see was how small Blaine looked in that hospital bed. It might have been the light, but he was looking sickly pale, and so terribly exhausted. Without sparing Sebastian even a thought, Kurt went to Blaine and sat down at his bedside. Blaine looked in confusion from him to Sebastian, maybe expecting another scene. But Sebastian just stepped closer and watched them with an almost wistful xpression on his face. It didn't matter - he didn't matter, not now, and really, not ever.
“Are you okay?” Kurt asked. “What did the doctor say?”
“They haven't found anything,” Blaine said, and now his eyes were focused on Kurt. “They took some blood, they did an LP, and I had a CT scan to make sure there's no bleeding, but they haven't found anything. They want me to stay here for a few days for observation, and to give me an MRI. They're...” He gulped and lowered his eyes. “They're looking for a tumor.”
“Why?” Sebastian asked. “You've been bleeding... that's not something brain tumors do, right?”
Blaine shrugged. “I don't know. But I told them I have memory gaps, and then there's all that other stuff, how I'm always exhausted, and the headaches, and the weight loss, and the night terrors... It could be one, apparently. Oh, and if they don't see anything on the MRI they want a psychiatric consult. You know, in case I'm just losing my mind.”
“You're not,” Kurt said, “you... you're going to be alright, Blaine, okay? You just... you are.”
“I'm trying,” Blaine said, but Kurt could tell that he wasn't convinced. There was a tremor in his voice and his eyes gleamed a bit too much. “I'm freaking out, actually,” Blaine admitted, “it's... I don't know what's happening.”
“You will be okay,” Sebastian said. Kurt couldn't stand the sound of his voice. He took a deep breath, tried to be calm for Blaine's sake and then turned around.
“Sebastian? Would you give us a moment?” he asked.
Blaine's eyes widened and he shot a quick look to Sebastian.
“I... Fine,” Sebastian said, “take your time. I'll be outside.” To his credit, he didn't protest at all but just left the room after one last, serious look to Kurt - as if he needed a reminder to be careful about what he said.
As the door closed, he relaxed a bit, and held Blaine's hand in his, softly stroking over the skin. Blaine blinked, a frown on his face.
“What's going on with you two?” he asked.
Kurt shook his head. “I don't want to talk about him,” he said, “we hate each other, but that doesn't matter right now. The important thing is that you get better,” Kurt said.
Blaine was still unconvinced, but he relaxed and intertwined their fingers.
“I'm really scared,” he said. His voice was soft and still trembling.
“I know,” Kurt said. He had enough problems keeping his own voice steady. Sighing, he raised his free hand to touch Blaine's cheek, and for a few moments just looked at him, trying to memorize every detail.
“Kurt?” Blaine was even more confused now.
“You are... so important to me, Blaine,” Kurt said. As he blinked, he realized that he was close to tears. He had promised, such a long time ago, not to say goodbye, but now he realized he was in the middle of doing just that. Well... for now. Not forever. Isabelle had to know a way. He wouldn't give up on Blaine, he would never give up on him - but right now, he needed to take a step back. He took a shuddering breath before he could continue. “I care about you so much, and there's nothing more important right now than you getting better. But I... I can't be here for it.”
“What?” Blaine frowned. “What are you saying, Kurt?”
Kurt blinked his tears away, praying that Blaine wouldn't notice. “You need to get well, Blaine, and I'm... I'm not what you need right now. I'm so sorry, but... I can't. I have to go.”
“What? No!” Blaine shook his head, his eyes wide and fearful now. “Why are you doing this? Is it something Sebastian said? What did he tell you?”
“Nothing,”Kurt said, “this is just... it's for the best.”
“But... I don't understand,” he said. “Why are you... what have I done?”
“Nothing! No, don't even think that!” Kurt said, but he could see that Blaine had already come to a different conclusion.
“You told me it's okay,” Blaine said, “you said I should take time to figure things out, and you said you would wait... What happened to that?”
“I'm sorry, I can't,” Kurt repeated.
“Don't do this to me, Kurt,” Blaine said, “not now, please. I need you!”
Kurt exhaled and finally managed to tear his eyes from Blaine's face. “You don't. You'll be better off without me right now. I'm sorry.” He leant forward. It wasn't a goodbye, he tried to tell himself, just for now. Just until he found a way to break the curse. Only for now - it wasn't helpful. He pressed a single, ardent kiss onto Blaine's forehead, memorizing everything, the feel, the smell of his hair, but mostly, the way Blaine was trembling under his hands.
“Kurt, please...”
“I have to go,” Kurt said. “Please, just... get better.” When he turned away, he could hear a sob. But he couldn't look back, not right now, and not even because he couldn't keep his own tears from falling anymore, but because he knew if he did, he wouldn't find the strength to leave.
Sebastian was standing outside. He took a look at Kurt, but didn't comment,.
“This isn't over,” Kurt said.
“I know,” Sebastian said, “and for what it's worth... that's a really brave thing you're doing for him.”
Kurt turned around, focusing on Sebastian's genuine expression.
“Go to hell.”
“There has to be something I can do!”
Kurt could feel Isabelle's pitying look as he paced through her office. The books were still open, but he knew they wouldn't be helpful. They had gone through it all, but they hadn't found anything useful.
Isabelle sighed. “Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry this is happening to you,” she said.
“But you think he's right? You think I have to stay away from Blaine?”
Isabelle looked as if she was pondering the question. “Well... for now, it might be a good idea. From what you told me, Blaine is never going to fall completely in love with Sebastian while you are around. On the other hand, he's very unlikely to do so even if you stay away.”
“I can't let him die,” Kurt said, “there has to be another way, Isabelle.”
“The curse can still be broken,” Isabelle said, “but I don't know how. The one person who definitely knows, is the fairy who cast it.”
“So I have to find her,” Kurt said. “I'll find her, and then I'll make her tell me.”
“Sweetie, we're talking about a fairy godmother. She is insanely powerful. It's way too dangerous for you to deal with her alone,” Isabelle said.
“I have you, don't I?” It was supposed to come out humorous, but to his own ears it sounded pleading.
She sighed. “A wingless fairy... I'm not sure what kind of help I'll be. But you're right, of course - we have to find her now.”
“Then why haven't we done this ages ago? Why did you suggest I try luring him away from Sebastian? Why didn't we go for breaking it immediately?”
“I didn't know the curse was drawing its energy from Blaine!” Isabelle said. “Usually, the person who wants the spell cast has to anchor himself onto the curse. And if that had been the case, our strategy would have been good. You could have won your boy over the old-fashioned way and got him away from that horrible boy. Eventually we would have figured something out to end the curse, or maybe just let it run its course. But this? This is different. I didn't know we were putting Blaine in danger, Kurt. I would have suggested a completely different strategy if I'd known. Maybe I would have suggested to help stabilize the curse and then try to win him back afterwards... not ideal, but it wouldn't have been less dangerous...”
“So what you're saying is that by trying to get him away from Sebastian I might have killed him?”
At his shocked tone, her face got softer. “No, no, please don't think that, this is not your fault, you've been trying to help him. All this is clearly Sebastian's fault. But that doesn't help us right now, we have to figure something out. It's so rare, though, to have the curse coupled onto somebody else, there are only a handful of even fairy godmothers who could do that...”
And suddenly, Kurt remembered something. “Like Nerida?”
“Exactly, although that's already going quite high on the totem pole, and... wait, how do you know that name?”
“Sebastian mentioned it,” Kurt said, “so... that's her? You know her?”
Isabelle now looked really uncomfortable. “We may have run into each other,” she said, “she took my wings.”
“Oh. I'm... sorry?”
“It's fine,” Isabelle said, “it was a long time ago. I wouldn't have thought about her, though. What did you say his name was?”
“Sebastian Smythe,” Kurt said.
“Well... the last thing I heard about Nerida is that she's bound to the LaCroix family... but that could have changed if she went with a daughter one time. You see, a fairy godmother always has to choose one of the children of a family to follow. But yes, that doesn't matter right now. You said he's from Ohio, this Sebastian?”
“I think that's where his family is,” Kurt said.
“Well, obviously we can't play the long game,” Isabelle said, a new determination in her eyes, “and from the way you describe it, I don't think your boy is going to have a lot of time left. If we want to save him, we have to go to Ohio and find Nerida.”
“Will she help us?” Kurt asked.
All the determination disappeared from Isabelle's face. “Well... I don't know, to be honest with you. She and I don't exactly get along that well... but it is the only chance we have. So... Ohio it is.”
Kurt sighed. “Ohio it is,” he repeated. He would have to figure something out that he'd tell NYADA or at the diner, probably something for the girls as well... and his family... It would be complicated, but it was a chance. It was definitely better than just leaving Blaine with Sebastian. And “hardly a plan” was still an improvement over “no plan”.
He thought back to Blaine, how scared he'd looked in that hospital room, how desperate he'd been when Kurt had told him he was leaving...
No. He would not let Blaine die. And he also wouldn't let Sebastian get away with this.
“Ohio it is.”
Next Chapter