Fic: Once More With Feeling, Chapter 3/14
Title: Once More With Feeling (3/14+Epilogue)
Rating: R
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, Blaine/Sebastian
Spoilers: -
Warnings:
Word Count: ~3500
Summary: After a long year of separation, things are finally looking up for Kurt and Blaine. They're ready to start their lives together in New York as an engaged couple. Everything is perfect.
Until it's suddenly not.
Torn apart by forces beyond their understanding, they find themselves alone, facing a world that is just not quite right anymore. A second first meeting of strangers on a staircase brings another chance for love, but is that chance enough for them to find their way back to each other, and can they break the spell before it's too late?
Disclaimer: The characters aren't my property, neither are any song lyrics within this story, just borrowing it all for a bit.
Notes: See prologue
Previously...
Chapter 3 - Where There's Life, There's Hope
Dark shadows... the beat of music... it was fine, everything should be fine... but it wasn't... What was wrong?
Then, a flash of red.
A surge of protectiveness flooded through him. Not him, he couldn't let them touch him!
It was instinct, diving forwards, to protect, to take the attack onto himself, and then...
Pain.
Blaine woke up screaming, and drenched in cold sweat. He sat up straight, his hands flew to his eyes, trying to scratch out something that wasn't there anymore. It had to get out, it was hurting him, he needed...
Then, there were arms around him, prying his hands off his face, and he was pulled against something solid. Those arms wrapped around his own, holding him so tightly, that he couldn't move. He was fighting against the embrace, or was it an entrapment, trying to get away, far away from whoever was trying to hurt him. And there was a voice in his ear.
“Stop it, Blaine, you're home, you're safe, everything's fine! Please just calm down! Stop it already!”
The voice was lying.
He doubled his efforts and tried even harder to break free. Whoever was holding him, he had to get away. He needed to be free of his grip, of that voice, and how on earth could he get out?
But those arms held him in a vice-like grip, and despite his struggles, Blaine didn't manage to get free. Eventually, he sank into himself, shaking violently, and too weak to fight any more. He just tried to breathe, to gather strength, and to make it stop. All the time, the voice kept talking in his ear.
Slowly, he started to recognize the sound of it, and then he realized what was happening.
“Sebastian?” he asked. His voice sounded hoarse, and speaking was almost painful from all the screaming.
“I'm here,” Sebastian said, although his voice sounded miles away. “Are you okay?”
Blaine took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes. Was he okay?
“This one was worse,” he said instead. “Why won't this stop?”
“You've been through a lot,” Sebastian said softly. The grip he had around Blaine loosened, and felt more like an actual embrace now. “Of course that left traces.”
Blaine sighed in frustration and shook his head. “It's been years... why can't I get over this?”
Sebastian let his hand stroke over Blaine's hair. He wanted to flinch away from how cold it felt against his skin.
“Give it time,” Sebastian said.
With a shudder, Blaine buried his face in his hands. He knew in theory what those memories were from. A few years ago, he had been attacked after a school dance. Consciously, he didn't remember much from between leaving the dance and waking up in the hospital. But in his dreams, the events kept haunting him, even now, years later.
Suddenly, he felt as if he was choking. Everything touching him felt wrong - the bed he was sitting in, Sebastian holding him, even the very air he was breathing. It felt as if something was inside him, trying to claw its way out, and now he couldn't even scream anymore.
“I need some air,” he muttered. He hoped Sebastian didn't notice how quickly he wanted to get away from him. Before he left the bedroom, he looked behind once more. There was a look of sadness on his boyfriend's face, but even that couldn't touch him.
He made a short stop in the living room where he got a blanket and wrapped himself up in it. Then, he stepped out onto the balcony. New York never was quiet, and even now he could hear the traffic far below him. It was bright, too. The night sky above him looked completely empty, there was not one star to be seen. Shuddering, Blaine wrapped the blanket tighter around himself. He didn't miss Ohio, but sometimes he missed the stars.
Far below him, he could see the street lights. He had never lived in a skyscraper, and he really didn't need an apartment this high up. But that too hadn't been his choice. It hadn't even mattered much to him back then, when they had moved in here. He still wasn't sure if anything mattered...
The nightmares had become worse here. Blaine couldn't quite remember when they had started, or how they had felt before, but ever since he had moved into this apartment with Sebastian, they came more frequently and much more violently. At first Sebastian had tried to comfort him, to hold him after the nightmares until he fell asleep again. But that never worked. After these things, Blaine couldn't stand the feeling of his own skin. Sebastian's touch was so much worse. That, of course, was something he couldn't tell.
Eventually, his breathing slowed down to normal, and the shudders that went through him were caused by the cold, not by the nightmares. In a few minutes, he might have a chance at trying to go to sleep again. He really needed the rest. Tomorrow would be a rough day, and he could use every minute of sleep.
With a sigh, Blaine returned into the apartment. He put the blanket back down in the living room, before he went back into their bedroom. The lamp on his side of the bed was burning, but Sebastian was turned away from him, his eyes were closed and he was breathing softly. Blaine could almost believe that he was actually asleep, but he knew better. He couldn't even blame Sebastian. It had to be frustrating to have a boyfriend with so much baggage, who had these... night terrors, or whatever they were, on a regular base and couldn't stand to be touched after.
But thinking about it didn't help. So Blaine climbed into the bed, and with his back turned to Sebastian closed his eyes, hoping for sleep to come soon.
In the end, Blaine was relieved that he even found the way to NYADA the next day. Sleep had not come, which wasn't exactly new after these night terrors, and now Blaine felt so exhausted that he could hardly remember what his schedule was, much less how to get anywhere. His eyelids were heavy, his step slowed down, and all he really wanted was to lie down and sleep. Instead, he could look forward to a long, horrible day at school.
Maybe he should have just called in sick.
He passed the notice board, and just as he considered checking it, he saw Kurt standing there, apparently deeply engrossed in a poster by the film club. Blaine hesitated, wondering if he should come closer or say hello. But before he could decide, Kurt looked up and saw him.
It was astonishing how his face lit up within seconds. He smiled softly, but there was a spark in his eyes. Blaine stopped and just looked at him for a moment. It didn't happen often that somebody was this happy just to see him. The smile, however, dimmed quickly as Kurt came closer.
“What's wrong?” he asked when he was close enough that he could speak in a low voice, for which Blaine felt grateful. Still, it was a weird way t start a conversation.
“Why would you say that?” Blaine asked.
Kurt paused as he looked him over. “Have you seen yourself today? You look like an extra in some zombie film.”
Blaine sighed and cast his eyes downward. “That's kind of what I feel like,” he admitted.
“What is wrong,then?” Kurt asked. “I mean, I understand if you don't want to talk to me about it, but...”
“No!” Blaine was surprised himself how quickly he reacted to that. A bit sheepishly, he shrugged. “It's not that I don't want to tell you, it's just that there's not much to tell. I just really couldn't sleep last night. Nothing special, it just... happens.”
Kurt watched him silently for a moment, and Blaine was almost sure he had said something wrong. But then, Kurt started to smile again. “You definitely need some caffeine,” he said. “Come on, there's still time before your first class.”
Automatically, Blaine followed him as he started to walk to the cafeteria.
“So, how's your schedule today? Not too crowded, I hope?”
Blaine sighed at that. “I wish,” he said, “I have classes till...” He thought for a moment. “Five? I think five.”
“Wow, I'm really sorry.” Kurt looked at him sympathetically, and while it didn't help the situation, it did make Blaine feel better. Sebastian's reaction had basically been to ask how tough one day at a singing school could even be.
“I'm lucky today,” Kurt said as they went through the corridors, “only morning classes, but I've got to work in the afternoon.”
“You have a job?” Blaine asked.
Kurt shrugged, though Blaine could tell from his smile that he took at least some pride in it. “Well, I've got this job as a waiter at the Spotlight Diner,” he said, “maybe you heard of it?”
“I think so,” Blaine said, “is that the place with the singing waiters?”
Kurt laughed. “Well, it is since my room mates and me work there.”
“Wait, you're the singing waiters?”
“You should come visit at some point,” Kurt said, “maybe you'll see an impromptu performance.”
Blaine felt himself start to smile. “Maybe I'll do that,” he said.
“So... any plans for lunch yet?” Kurt asked as they arrived at the cafeteria and stood in the cue.
“Well... eating,” Blaine said with a shrug. “I haven't really brought anything... So, here, I guess.”
Suddenly, Kurt was studying the menu behind the counter with a lot of concentration. “Well, mind if I join you?”
Blaine hesitated for a moment. It would be nice not to eat on his own. Especially around lunch, NYADA was starting to feel like public high school all over again. At Dalton, he hadn't been a loner, but now here at NYADA he had no friends whatsoever. Kurt was the first person who had taken any interest in him. Besides, what harm was there in lunch?
It was an easy decision.
“I'd like that,” he said.
It was apparently the answer Kurt had waited for. “Well, good. Let's meet here at one?”
“Sounds good,” Blaine said, before he turned to the barista. “Grande non-fat mocha and a medium drip to go, please.”
There was a smile on Kurt's face when Blaine looked back at him. “Let me walk you to class?” Kurt suggested.
Blaine wasn't sure if that was flirting or if Kurt just assumed he wouldn't find his way to the class room - which was a bit of an exaggeration, but still not completely far-fetched. Either way, it was probably harmless.
“Lead the way.”
There was a spring in Kurt's step as he walked through the diner, taking orders and bringing food to the tables. He couldn't even remember the last time he had felt any energy doing this job, but somehow it worked today.
He could see Santana watching him, and he could take a guess on what she was thinking. In his defense, it had been a good morning for him. He felt as if the classes had been easier today, the day hadn't dragged forever, and yes, that kind-of-not-really lunch-date had helped, too.
So, he might have a bit of a crush. There was nothing wrong with that. And unlike most of his crushes he remembered from his high school days, with Blaine he was at least seventy percent sure that he actually stood a chance.
If Kurt was completely honest with himself, it already seemed like a bit more than a crush. Before, he hadn't started dreaming about a guy the week they'd met. It wasn't even fantasizing. They were just... dreams. It had started with that dream of them running through a corridor, but that had only been beginning. Almost every time he fell asleep, he woke up with a memory of another dream, mostly small and almost unusual things. He dreamed of sitting with Blaine at Breadstix, the McKinley choir room, or at the Lima Bean, almost as if his mind tried to insert Blaine into his real memories of home. It couldn't be because he had learned that Blaine was from Ohio as well, and how easily it would have been for them to meet back there. At first that had seemed like a good theory, but then he had remembered that the dreams had started before he had found out about that.
That wasn't the only thing that was strange, though. They didn't feel like dreams. In fact, if Kurt hadn't known that he only met Blaine a few days ago, he could have sworn those were memories. Sometimes, right after waking up, he even knew how they continued.
Of course, he'd bite off his tongue before he'd mention it to anyone, especially Blaine. That would be the best way to come off as a complete creep.
It wasn't important, anyway - a bit strange, maybe, but not important. Kurt was not some kind of obsessive weirdo. He had just met somebody who was fascinating, attractive, and possibly interested in him. All he wanted to do was to get to know Blaine a bit better. Already, he was lighting up Kurt's days, and somehow he just felt warmer around the other boy, as if a haze around the world was lifting.
And if that was not worth pursuing, Kurt wasn't sure what was.
“So, Berry says you found yourself a boytoy, spill!”
Kurt rolled his eyes as Santana approached. “None of your business, Satan,” he said, though even that didn't have the usual bite to it, “and you have customers.”
“Actually, mine just left and I have nothing to do, so get over it and give me the deets.”
Kurt sighed melodramatically, but followed her into the back of the diner to sit down. Santana lost no time to help herself to some of the snacks standing there, and watched him like a hawk while nibbling away. It felt as if he was in the focus of a prowling cat, but not even that could bother him today.
“Sorry to disappoint you, there are no 'deets'”, Kurt said. “I met a guy at school, he's from Ohio, he's cute and fun, and no, I don't know if, like, he has a car.”
“Seriously?” Santana sank back into her chair. She was almost scowling. “This is New York City! You're actually telling me in over a year the three of us still didn't get a dating story that was more exciting than Berry dating a gigolo?”
“You could come up with something,” Kurt said. “You've been dating the same girl for months now, and that was the least melodramatic story I've ever heard.”
“I guess I'm just that good,” Santana said, “besides, I'm here to be entertained, not to be the entertainment. Well, at least not for you.”
Kurt rolled his eyes, but at least this way he could avoid talking to her about Blaine. “We could set Rachel up with someone. There must be someone fitting running around New York...”
“Fitting? Where's the fun in that?” Santana said. “No, I want to watch a train wreck. But a hilarious one. Any chances with your boy for that?”
“I... really don't think so,” Kurt said, “but I don't know him that well. I'll get back to you on that.”
“What's his name?” Santana asked.
“Blaine.”
Santana looked to the ceiling as if she was contemplating the name for a moment. Eventually, she shrugged. “Good enough, I guess,” she said. “And hey, if he stops your zombie attitude, then more power to him.”
“Don't you start with that, too,” Kurt said, “I'm busy enough evading Rachel and all those pamphlets she keeps lying around, I don't need you to join in.”
“Like I don't have better things to do,” Santana said. But then, she looked serious. “Look, I know she can be overbearing, and I get that you want us to get off your case about this. But just let me say this one thing and then I'll leave you alone with it forever - or until I run out of things to make fun of.”
Kurt sighed, but there wasn't muc force behind it. “Say it, then.”
“We were really worried about you, for a while. And depression sounded like a plausible explanation. To be honest, that was my idea. Some time last year Britt asked me about depression, she was worried about...” Santana frowned, but then she shook her head. “I don't know, some friend of hers, it's not important. The point is, you were acting like that. Now, Berry obviously had to approach this the least sensitive way possible - and come on, coming from me we both know that says something - but she really just wanted to make sure you're okay. Just... we worry about you. I thought that's something you ought to know.”
Kurt tried not to show how touched he was. In a corner of his mind he wondered why he hadn't been this touched when Rachel had brought it up. He tried to tell himself that was because Rachel had been extremely blunt, but somehow he knew that wasn't it. It was more like his whole attitude had improved.
“Thank you,” Kurt said to Santana.
“Yeah, whatever. Now enough with the lady chat, there are customers.” She stood up and by the time she was on her feet, there was no trace to see about the moment they'd just shared. For a second Kurt wondered if she'd just made up the customers to end the conversation, but when he looked up he found several tables occupied.
Suppressing a sigh, Kurt put on his waiter smile and went to the front to do his job. He went past the small stage they'd erected, now empty except for the piano, and slightly regretted that they hadn't used their moment for another impromptu performance. Maybe he could manage one if Blaine ever came to visit.
And then, as he turned away, out of the corner of his eye, Kurt saw him. Blaine was here.
Kurt tore his head around quickly and stared at the stage that a moment ago had been completely empty. But yes, there was Blaine. He was sitting at the piano and looked around as if he was unsure of something, before he finally turned to the keys and started playing.
From somewhere in the diner, an accompaniment by harmonica started, but Kurt couldn't tear his eyes away from Blaine. After only a few seconds Kurt recognized the song, and then Blaine started to sing.
Kurt felt his breath hitch as he just stood there and looked at the boy. His voice was rich, deep and so full of emotion. It was obvious now how Blaine had been accepted into NYADA. The performance was breathtaking. But maybe the most surprising thing was how deeply it made Kurt feel. There was an overwhelming feeling of pride running through him as he watched that boy shine, and he was so glad to have him in his life, forever. His eyes reflexively went to his left hand and was surprised to see it empty.
“Okay, I don't care if your boy is the eighth world wonder, but if you don't stop daydreaming and start doing your job, I will kick your ass!”
Kurt flinched and looked around as he heard Santana's sharp voice. He wanted to reprimand her for interrupting Blaine, but then he realized that the music was gone. When he looked back at the stage, it was empty again.
Santana snorted and rolled her eyes. “God save me from idiots in love,” she muttered as she walked away to her own customers. “If he's so great, stop pining and just go ask him out!”
Kurt stared at the stage for a few seconds more, but the picture didn't change. His good mood had completely drained. A shudder went through him as he slowly went back to work as well. He had to go through the day. He could go insane later.
Next Chapter
Rating: R
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, Blaine/Sebastian
Spoilers: -
Warnings:
Word Count: ~3500
Summary: After a long year of separation, things are finally looking up for Kurt and Blaine. They're ready to start their lives together in New York as an engaged couple. Everything is perfect.
Until it's suddenly not.
Torn apart by forces beyond their understanding, they find themselves alone, facing a world that is just not quite right anymore. A second first meeting of strangers on a staircase brings another chance for love, but is that chance enough for them to find their way back to each other, and can they break the spell before it's too late?
Disclaimer: The characters aren't my property, neither are any song lyrics within this story, just borrowing it all for a bit.
Notes: See prologue
Previously...
Chapter 3 - Where There's Life, There's Hope
Dark shadows... the beat of music... it was fine, everything should be fine... but it wasn't... What was wrong?
Then, a flash of red.
A surge of protectiveness flooded through him. Not him, he couldn't let them touch him!
It was instinct, diving forwards, to protect, to take the attack onto himself, and then...
Pain.
Blaine woke up screaming, and drenched in cold sweat. He sat up straight, his hands flew to his eyes, trying to scratch out something that wasn't there anymore. It had to get out, it was hurting him, he needed...
Then, there were arms around him, prying his hands off his face, and he was pulled against something solid. Those arms wrapped around his own, holding him so tightly, that he couldn't move. He was fighting against the embrace, or was it an entrapment, trying to get away, far away from whoever was trying to hurt him. And there was a voice in his ear.
“Stop it, Blaine, you're home, you're safe, everything's fine! Please just calm down! Stop it already!”
The voice was lying.
He doubled his efforts and tried even harder to break free. Whoever was holding him, he had to get away. He needed to be free of his grip, of that voice, and how on earth could he get out?
But those arms held him in a vice-like grip, and despite his struggles, Blaine didn't manage to get free. Eventually, he sank into himself, shaking violently, and too weak to fight any more. He just tried to breathe, to gather strength, and to make it stop. All the time, the voice kept talking in his ear.
Slowly, he started to recognize the sound of it, and then he realized what was happening.
“Sebastian?” he asked. His voice sounded hoarse, and speaking was almost painful from all the screaming.
“I'm here,” Sebastian said, although his voice sounded miles away. “Are you okay?”
Blaine took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes. Was he okay?
“This one was worse,” he said instead. “Why won't this stop?”
“You've been through a lot,” Sebastian said softly. The grip he had around Blaine loosened, and felt more like an actual embrace now. “Of course that left traces.”
Blaine sighed in frustration and shook his head. “It's been years... why can't I get over this?”
Sebastian let his hand stroke over Blaine's hair. He wanted to flinch away from how cold it felt against his skin.
“Give it time,” Sebastian said.
With a shudder, Blaine buried his face in his hands. He knew in theory what those memories were from. A few years ago, he had been attacked after a school dance. Consciously, he didn't remember much from between leaving the dance and waking up in the hospital. But in his dreams, the events kept haunting him, even now, years later.
Suddenly, he felt as if he was choking. Everything touching him felt wrong - the bed he was sitting in, Sebastian holding him, even the very air he was breathing. It felt as if something was inside him, trying to claw its way out, and now he couldn't even scream anymore.
“I need some air,” he muttered. He hoped Sebastian didn't notice how quickly he wanted to get away from him. Before he left the bedroom, he looked behind once more. There was a look of sadness on his boyfriend's face, but even that couldn't touch him.
He made a short stop in the living room where he got a blanket and wrapped himself up in it. Then, he stepped out onto the balcony. New York never was quiet, and even now he could hear the traffic far below him. It was bright, too. The night sky above him looked completely empty, there was not one star to be seen. Shuddering, Blaine wrapped the blanket tighter around himself. He didn't miss Ohio, but sometimes he missed the stars.
Far below him, he could see the street lights. He had never lived in a skyscraper, and he really didn't need an apartment this high up. But that too hadn't been his choice. It hadn't even mattered much to him back then, when they had moved in here. He still wasn't sure if anything mattered...
The nightmares had become worse here. Blaine couldn't quite remember when they had started, or how they had felt before, but ever since he had moved into this apartment with Sebastian, they came more frequently and much more violently. At first Sebastian had tried to comfort him, to hold him after the nightmares until he fell asleep again. But that never worked. After these things, Blaine couldn't stand the feeling of his own skin. Sebastian's touch was so much worse. That, of course, was something he couldn't tell.
Eventually, his breathing slowed down to normal, and the shudders that went through him were caused by the cold, not by the nightmares. In a few minutes, he might have a chance at trying to go to sleep again. He really needed the rest. Tomorrow would be a rough day, and he could use every minute of sleep.
With a sigh, Blaine returned into the apartment. He put the blanket back down in the living room, before he went back into their bedroom. The lamp on his side of the bed was burning, but Sebastian was turned away from him, his eyes were closed and he was breathing softly. Blaine could almost believe that he was actually asleep, but he knew better. He couldn't even blame Sebastian. It had to be frustrating to have a boyfriend with so much baggage, who had these... night terrors, or whatever they were, on a regular base and couldn't stand to be touched after.
But thinking about it didn't help. So Blaine climbed into the bed, and with his back turned to Sebastian closed his eyes, hoping for sleep to come soon.
In the end, Blaine was relieved that he even found the way to NYADA the next day. Sleep had not come, which wasn't exactly new after these night terrors, and now Blaine felt so exhausted that he could hardly remember what his schedule was, much less how to get anywhere. His eyelids were heavy, his step slowed down, and all he really wanted was to lie down and sleep. Instead, he could look forward to a long, horrible day at school.
Maybe he should have just called in sick.
He passed the notice board, and just as he considered checking it, he saw Kurt standing there, apparently deeply engrossed in a poster by the film club. Blaine hesitated, wondering if he should come closer or say hello. But before he could decide, Kurt looked up and saw him.
It was astonishing how his face lit up within seconds. He smiled softly, but there was a spark in his eyes. Blaine stopped and just looked at him for a moment. It didn't happen often that somebody was this happy just to see him. The smile, however, dimmed quickly as Kurt came closer.
“What's wrong?” he asked when he was close enough that he could speak in a low voice, for which Blaine felt grateful. Still, it was a weird way t start a conversation.
“Why would you say that?” Blaine asked.
Kurt paused as he looked him over. “Have you seen yourself today? You look like an extra in some zombie film.”
Blaine sighed and cast his eyes downward. “That's kind of what I feel like,” he admitted.
“What is wrong,then?” Kurt asked. “I mean, I understand if you don't want to talk to me about it, but...”
“No!” Blaine was surprised himself how quickly he reacted to that. A bit sheepishly, he shrugged. “It's not that I don't want to tell you, it's just that there's not much to tell. I just really couldn't sleep last night. Nothing special, it just... happens.”
Kurt watched him silently for a moment, and Blaine was almost sure he had said something wrong. But then, Kurt started to smile again. “You definitely need some caffeine,” he said. “Come on, there's still time before your first class.”
Automatically, Blaine followed him as he started to walk to the cafeteria.
“So, how's your schedule today? Not too crowded, I hope?”
Blaine sighed at that. “I wish,” he said, “I have classes till...” He thought for a moment. “Five? I think five.”
“Wow, I'm really sorry.” Kurt looked at him sympathetically, and while it didn't help the situation, it did make Blaine feel better. Sebastian's reaction had basically been to ask how tough one day at a singing school could even be.
“I'm lucky today,” Kurt said as they went through the corridors, “only morning classes, but I've got to work in the afternoon.”
“You have a job?” Blaine asked.
Kurt shrugged, though Blaine could tell from his smile that he took at least some pride in it. “Well, I've got this job as a waiter at the Spotlight Diner,” he said, “maybe you heard of it?”
“I think so,” Blaine said, “is that the place with the singing waiters?”
Kurt laughed. “Well, it is since my room mates and me work there.”
“Wait, you're the singing waiters?”
“You should come visit at some point,” Kurt said, “maybe you'll see an impromptu performance.”
Blaine felt himself start to smile. “Maybe I'll do that,” he said.
“So... any plans for lunch yet?” Kurt asked as they arrived at the cafeteria and stood in the cue.
“Well... eating,” Blaine said with a shrug. “I haven't really brought anything... So, here, I guess.”
Suddenly, Kurt was studying the menu behind the counter with a lot of concentration. “Well, mind if I join you?”
Blaine hesitated for a moment. It would be nice not to eat on his own. Especially around lunch, NYADA was starting to feel like public high school all over again. At Dalton, he hadn't been a loner, but now here at NYADA he had no friends whatsoever. Kurt was the first person who had taken any interest in him. Besides, what harm was there in lunch?
It was an easy decision.
“I'd like that,” he said.
It was apparently the answer Kurt had waited for. “Well, good. Let's meet here at one?”
“Sounds good,” Blaine said, before he turned to the barista. “Grande non-fat mocha and a medium drip to go, please.”
There was a smile on Kurt's face when Blaine looked back at him. “Let me walk you to class?” Kurt suggested.
Blaine wasn't sure if that was flirting or if Kurt just assumed he wouldn't find his way to the class room - which was a bit of an exaggeration, but still not completely far-fetched. Either way, it was probably harmless.
“Lead the way.”
There was a spring in Kurt's step as he walked through the diner, taking orders and bringing food to the tables. He couldn't even remember the last time he had felt any energy doing this job, but somehow it worked today.
He could see Santana watching him, and he could take a guess on what she was thinking. In his defense, it had been a good morning for him. He felt as if the classes had been easier today, the day hadn't dragged forever, and yes, that kind-of-not-really lunch-date had helped, too.
So, he might have a bit of a crush. There was nothing wrong with that. And unlike most of his crushes he remembered from his high school days, with Blaine he was at least seventy percent sure that he actually stood a chance.
If Kurt was completely honest with himself, it already seemed like a bit more than a crush. Before, he hadn't started dreaming about a guy the week they'd met. It wasn't even fantasizing. They were just... dreams. It had started with that dream of them running through a corridor, but that had only been beginning. Almost every time he fell asleep, he woke up with a memory of another dream, mostly small and almost unusual things. He dreamed of sitting with Blaine at Breadstix, the McKinley choir room, or at the Lima Bean, almost as if his mind tried to insert Blaine into his real memories of home. It couldn't be because he had learned that Blaine was from Ohio as well, and how easily it would have been for them to meet back there. At first that had seemed like a good theory, but then he had remembered that the dreams had started before he had found out about that.
That wasn't the only thing that was strange, though. They didn't feel like dreams. In fact, if Kurt hadn't known that he only met Blaine a few days ago, he could have sworn those were memories. Sometimes, right after waking up, he even knew how they continued.
Of course, he'd bite off his tongue before he'd mention it to anyone, especially Blaine. That would be the best way to come off as a complete creep.
It wasn't important, anyway - a bit strange, maybe, but not important. Kurt was not some kind of obsessive weirdo. He had just met somebody who was fascinating, attractive, and possibly interested in him. All he wanted to do was to get to know Blaine a bit better. Already, he was lighting up Kurt's days, and somehow he just felt warmer around the other boy, as if a haze around the world was lifting.
And if that was not worth pursuing, Kurt wasn't sure what was.
“So, Berry says you found yourself a boytoy, spill!”
Kurt rolled his eyes as Santana approached. “None of your business, Satan,” he said, though even that didn't have the usual bite to it, “and you have customers.”
“Actually, mine just left and I have nothing to do, so get over it and give me the deets.”
Kurt sighed melodramatically, but followed her into the back of the diner to sit down. Santana lost no time to help herself to some of the snacks standing there, and watched him like a hawk while nibbling away. It felt as if he was in the focus of a prowling cat, but not even that could bother him today.
“Sorry to disappoint you, there are no 'deets'”, Kurt said. “I met a guy at school, he's from Ohio, he's cute and fun, and no, I don't know if, like, he has a car.”
“Seriously?” Santana sank back into her chair. She was almost scowling. “This is New York City! You're actually telling me in over a year the three of us still didn't get a dating story that was more exciting than Berry dating a gigolo?”
“You could come up with something,” Kurt said. “You've been dating the same girl for months now, and that was the least melodramatic story I've ever heard.”
“I guess I'm just that good,” Santana said, “besides, I'm here to be entertained, not to be the entertainment. Well, at least not for you.”
Kurt rolled his eyes, but at least this way he could avoid talking to her about Blaine. “We could set Rachel up with someone. There must be someone fitting running around New York...”
“Fitting? Where's the fun in that?” Santana said. “No, I want to watch a train wreck. But a hilarious one. Any chances with your boy for that?”
“I... really don't think so,” Kurt said, “but I don't know him that well. I'll get back to you on that.”
“What's his name?” Santana asked.
“Blaine.”
Santana looked to the ceiling as if she was contemplating the name for a moment. Eventually, she shrugged. “Good enough, I guess,” she said. “And hey, if he stops your zombie attitude, then more power to him.”
“Don't you start with that, too,” Kurt said, “I'm busy enough evading Rachel and all those pamphlets she keeps lying around, I don't need you to join in.”
“Like I don't have better things to do,” Santana said. But then, she looked serious. “Look, I know she can be overbearing, and I get that you want us to get off your case about this. But just let me say this one thing and then I'll leave you alone with it forever - or until I run out of things to make fun of.”
Kurt sighed, but there wasn't muc force behind it. “Say it, then.”
“We were really worried about you, for a while. And depression sounded like a plausible explanation. To be honest, that was my idea. Some time last year Britt asked me about depression, she was worried about...” Santana frowned, but then she shook her head. “I don't know, some friend of hers, it's not important. The point is, you were acting like that. Now, Berry obviously had to approach this the least sensitive way possible - and come on, coming from me we both know that says something - but she really just wanted to make sure you're okay. Just... we worry about you. I thought that's something you ought to know.”
Kurt tried not to show how touched he was. In a corner of his mind he wondered why he hadn't been this touched when Rachel had brought it up. He tried to tell himself that was because Rachel had been extremely blunt, but somehow he knew that wasn't it. It was more like his whole attitude had improved.
“Thank you,” Kurt said to Santana.
“Yeah, whatever. Now enough with the lady chat, there are customers.” She stood up and by the time she was on her feet, there was no trace to see about the moment they'd just shared. For a second Kurt wondered if she'd just made up the customers to end the conversation, but when he looked up he found several tables occupied.
Suppressing a sigh, Kurt put on his waiter smile and went to the front to do his job. He went past the small stage they'd erected, now empty except for the piano, and slightly regretted that they hadn't used their moment for another impromptu performance. Maybe he could manage one if Blaine ever came to visit.
And then, as he turned away, out of the corner of his eye, Kurt saw him. Blaine was here.
Kurt tore his head around quickly and stared at the stage that a moment ago had been completely empty. But yes, there was Blaine. He was sitting at the piano and looked around as if he was unsure of something, before he finally turned to the keys and started playing.
From somewhere in the diner, an accompaniment by harmonica started, but Kurt couldn't tear his eyes away from Blaine. After only a few seconds Kurt recognized the song, and then Blaine started to sing.
Kurt felt his breath hitch as he just stood there and looked at the boy. His voice was rich, deep and so full of emotion. It was obvious now how Blaine had been accepted into NYADA. The performance was breathtaking. But maybe the most surprising thing was how deeply it made Kurt feel. There was an overwhelming feeling of pride running through him as he watched that boy shine, and he was so glad to have him in his life, forever. His eyes reflexively went to his left hand and was surprised to see it empty.
“Okay, I don't care if your boy is the eighth world wonder, but if you don't stop daydreaming and start doing your job, I will kick your ass!”
Kurt flinched and looked around as he heard Santana's sharp voice. He wanted to reprimand her for interrupting Blaine, but then he realized that the music was gone. When he looked back at the stage, it was empty again.
Santana snorted and rolled her eyes. “God save me from idiots in love,” she muttered as she walked away to her own customers. “If he's so great, stop pining and just go ask him out!”
Kurt stared at the stage for a few seconds more, but the picture didn't change. His good mood had completely drained. A shudder went through him as he slowly went back to work as well. He had to go through the day. He could go insane later.
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