I know Father's Day was nearly two weeks ago, but I saw this picture and it cracked me up. Happy Father's Day? You tell me:


( Read more... )

 Wow, today's been complete doodoo. I woke up to call for a job interview, but was thirty minutes late waking up. Then, when I finally got the phone and called the line had been temporarily connected... all day. Then on top of that irritating me the whole day went downhill and yada, yada, yada.
Not a good day today. No, sir. I am high, however.

After watching... uh... around thirty hours of the Lord of the Rings trilogy on Special Extended DVD Edition over the weekend, I was inspired by some of that movie-makin' magic! My friend downloaded a program called Particle Illusion and I think it's fan-fucking-tastic. It's a little confusing for me right now, but my mind is also in retard mode ( Read more... )

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I had a mid-aged butch lesbian ask if I would impregnate her. I asked her if she was talking about, like, a sperm bank and she says, "Or... you know, outside a sperm bank and I pay you fifty bucks, or something." I'm sure she could tell I was caught off guard by this, and she says, "Oh my gosh, I embarrassed you. You don't have to give me an answer ( Read more... )

and the world's got me dizzy again
you'd think after 22 years I'd be used to the spin
and it only feels worse when I stay in one place
so I'm always pacing around or walking away
I keep drinking the ink from my pen
and I'm balancing history books up on my head
but it all boils down to one quotable phrase
"If you love something give it away"

that's some ( Read more... )

Dear Diary,

I write to you now, as I sit by a roaring fire, in regards of what I found this morning. No, not more shit smeared on the floor by "one of the dogs," but something written on our grocery list. The following is what I read when I woke up:

• "This house resembles all horror movie cliches... fuckers."
  
• "God damn high school."
  
• "Livin' la Vida ( Read more... )

I need a ladies night!! big time... too!

- An Ode to Brennan,
       by me

Dear Diary,

Currently I'm on Kevin's laptop, on the love seat next to Shiloh (the fatdog), and she literally got up from the other end and came over and laid directly on top of my arm. She's continuing to push with her legs, forcing herself more in my direction.

This fatass...

fucking...

DOG!

Literally, my arm is now asleep. Anyway, Dear Diary, ( Read more... )

The Dark Knight

( Read more... )