Is it really fucking over?  Can I walk away that easy?  How did I calmly say those things?  I still mean it.  I wish I didn't.  I hate hurting her.  I didn't want it to be this way.  Shouldn't we be adult about this by now?  Why can't we be friends?  Is it really that hard?  How do I be friends with someone I was never friends first?  I can't do ( Read more... )

I don't know how to stop crying.  I can feel myself on the verge of it...and then she gets off the phone with me...and then you leave to eat dinner with your mother...I sit here.  Alone.  All alone.  I don't want to feel this way.  I don't want to feel.

That was a few weeks ago...I quit crying...although I was close this morning...I don't know ( Read more... )

I'm on staff duty. I was left alone on a computer to check my bank account for 2 hours. Like my Drill Sergeant doesn't know I'm going to play online. I miss everyone...and appreciate letters. I am on week 4 1/2. I have 32 days left. I can't wait until May 26th ( Read more... )

Merry Christmas!

and a Happy New Year!

More than I thought I would. Not that I didn't think I would miss it... But it's comforting to be able to connect with the world at 3:00 AM without using my phone and waking anyone up...or interrupting someone's video game ( Read more... )

I am alive ( Read more... )

So I hadn't been paying for my internet for about a month. I canceled it a while ago, but the cable man didn't actually turn it off until the other day. I think some of my neighbors had been stealing cable. Cause we had quite a few channels...like mtv (even though it was fuzzy) that shouldn't be coming in without cable ( Read more... )

The first one I remember tonight I was one of the last people alive on earth. Some strange creature was attacking us. I was living in this metal like structure with about 12 other people. No TV, no electricity, no phones. We had no idea if our families were alive. One of the guys in the the house with me was a Captain in the military. He ( Read more... )

The highlight of my day yesterday (I was off) was eating chinese and sushi, getting coffee (which is usually cream soda and not coffee because I do not like House of Java's new syraps. I think they taste funny), and going to the mall (which sucks). I bought more panties...white ones from vs because we have to have that color for bootcamp. I got ( Read more... )

I'm SOOOOOOOOOO tired. It's amazing how exauhsting making pizzas can be. I worked 8 3/4 hours today and yesterday...but yesterday I worked the split. At least I'm getting hours. My manager thinks I'm a very bright modivated young woman...nice. He said he wished he could clone me so I could work his day and night shifts. I HATE not having a ( Read more... )